Firestorm

Chapter Sixteen

“Are you ready for your wilderness adventure?” Sarah asked as she packed her PG bag next to Jac.

“Can’t wait,” Jac said, hoping she sounded appropriately enthusiastic. She was looking forward to the field portion of the training. Being cooped up at base was driving her stir-crazy, and sleeping next to Mallory was torture. Especially considering Mallory had barely talked to her since the jump over a week before. Mallory’d been polite enough, saying good morning just before quickly disappearing down the ladder, offering a bland good night if Jac wasn’t asleep, which she usually wasn’t, when Mallory finally came to bed in the dark hours of the night. Unless Mallory was a vampire, she was staying up most of the night to avoid retiring at the same time as Jac. Okay, maybe that was being a little paranoid, but the casual, impersonal exchanges were worse than silence. The last thing Jac wanted from Mallory was casual, and admitting it, knowing it, made her feel ten kinds of impotent. Not a feeling she enjoyed. Helplessness made her short-tempered. Even Ray had noticed and asked her what was wrong. She’d told him she was fine. She wasn’t about to discuss Mallory with anyone, especially one of the guys. Even one of the good guys.

“Gosh,” Sarah said, “someone got out of the wrong side of bed this morning.”

“Sorry.” Jac sighed. “I really am looking forward to being out in the woods. Climbing a few trees sounds like a lot more fun than throwing myself off a platform onto the ground.”

“I always hated that part of the training too.” Sarah laughed. “I mean, after all, that’s why we jump with parachutes. And you have to admit, the jumping is fun.”

“Awesome.” Jac couldn’t help but smile just at the memory of the last real jump—the exhilaration still swamped her. The parachute could completely counteract gravity, and landing feet first on the ground after dropping thousands of feet was still a shock, no matter how controlled the landing. At least she hadn’t landed in a tree—yet. Smokejumpers ended up in trees on one out of three landings and had to drop to the ground on the end of a line. So the continued practice of hard landings off the platform in between plane jumps made sense. Jac knew that, but watching Mallory standing just a few feet away for hours, acting as if Jac wasn’t even there, was eating her up inside. Jac had never wanted to be seen so much by a woman, by anyone, before. She’d spent most of her life trying not to be seen, not to be noticed, not to be pegged as Franklin Russo’s daughter. Anonymity meant not being examined, questioned, scrutinized by her peers, by her teachers, by the ubiquitous reporters—all wondering if she held the same views as he did, if she was really a lesbian like the rumor said, if she was really a right-wing bigot underneath everything. She’d tried so hard to fly under the radar, she was stunned when anyone wanted to get to know her. And Mallory, for a while, had seemed to care about who she was and what she thought. Losing that connection was killing her. She couldn’t sleep, she wasn’t hungry, and her body was in revolt. The barest glance from Mallory made her heart race. And she was horny and couldn’t make herself come. Didn’t even want to and most of the time didn’t try. None of which helped her mood a damn bit.

“What are you doing for your night off?” Sarah asked.

“I hadn’t really thought about it yet,” Jac said. She’d been too busy wondering where Mallory had disappeared to. As soon as they’d finished the afternoon’s jump training, this time on the slamulator, Mallory had headed to her office with her clipboard under her arm. By the time Jac had helped store gear and grabbed a quick shower, Mallory’s desk was vacant and the loft empty. Mallory’s bed had been neatly made up with her sleeping bag rolled and tucked at the bottom of the cot, as if Mallory wasn’t coming back that night. The idea that Mallory might be spending the night off base with someone made Jac feel as if a hundred knives were sticking in her belly. She rubbed it, but the pinpricks of pain didn’t go away. “What are you doing?”

“I’m going dancing. Want to come?”

Jac laughed. “Where?”

“A country-western place in Bear Creek.”

“Tell me you’re not going line dancing.”

“I do a mean two-step. What about you?”

“I don’t know how.” Jac hadn’t gone out with friends since before her last tour, and rarely before that. Suddenly the idea of staying in camp with whichever guys were still around seemed pathetic, but her social skills were feeling a little rusty after the debacle with Annabel.

Sarah nudged her shoulder. “Come with me. I’ll teach you.”

“Do I need shit kickers?”

“Well, it does help to have a hot pair of cowboy boots,” Sarah said, cocking her hip and affecting a Texas twang, “but you can probably get by with any pair of boots that aren’t loggers. Do you have anything?”

Jac rubbed her neck. “How about riding boots? I’ve got some of those that might do.”

“Okay. It’s a date. I’ll meet you about eight? Does that work for you?”

“Are you driving?” No way did she want to sit around thinking about Mallory for another three hours.

“Was planning to.”

“How about we leave earlier and I buy you dinner first?”

Sarah grinned. “Absolutely. I’ll meet you out in the yard in half an hour. Mine is the ’85 Mustang.”

“Sweet.”

“She is.” Sarah squeezed Jac’s arm. “Be prepared for a hot time, handsome.”

Laughing, Jac headed to the hangar for clean jeans and a shirt. Bear Creek hardly warranted a dot on the map, but the little town offered the only nightlife around. If there was an unattached woman in a sixty-mile radius, she’d be there on a Friday night. Maybe a night out and a little friendly female company was exactly what she needed.

*

Emily reached across the small round oak table and took Mallory’s hand. Her smile was quizzical, her soft brown eyes warm and gentle. “Is there something bothering you? You’re awfully quiet tonight.”

Mallory flushed, embarrassed. “I’m sorry, Em. Dinner was great. Thank you for cooking.”

“You know I love to cook, and you’re an appreciative diner.”

“Meaning I eat like a lumberjack,” Mallory said, laughing.

“You have better table manners.” Emily sat back in her chair, resting their joined hands on her knee. Her shirt had a tiny wildflower pattern stitched around the edge of the collar and cuffs. On anyone else the look might have seemed cutesy or out of style, but not on her. Emily’s light brown, shoulder-length hair shone with sunny highlights, and her heart-shaped face glowed. She was as fresh and exciting as spring mountain air. Being with her was just the kind of relaxing pleasure Mallory craved after the last few weeks.

“It’s really good to see you.” Mallory lifted Emily’s hand and kissed her knuckles.

“I was surprised when you called. Surprised and happy.”

Mallory struggled under a wave of guilt. Emily was a wonderful, intelligent, beautiful woman who deserved more than her half-attention. “Believe me, I appreciate you for a lot more than your excellent cooking.”

“I do seem to remember that.” Emily colored faintly, and her mouth softened into a seductive curve. “But as much as I enjoy you in and out of my kitchen, I have no expectations.”

“Ah God, Em, I’m just distracted. Training camp is in full swing, and I haven’t slowed down in weeks.” Mallory wasn’t defending her lack of attention with the easy excuse of too much work, at least not entirely. When she’d called Emily the morning before and suggested they get together tonight, she’d really thought her only motivation was the desire for an evening with a woman she admired and found attractive. They’d been seeing one another on and off for over a year, although not exclusively and not even all that frequently. Whenever they got together, Mallory relaxed and enjoyed herself. She liked listening to Emily’s tales of small-town living, and no one knew a town or its inhabitants better than the postmaster. Emily had always said she was happy being single as long as single included enjoying the occasional attentions of a bright, sexy woman. Mallory had always been pleased to oblige. Tonight, though, as the evening wore on, she began to feel uneasy. Emily offered a welcome, effortless antidote to the constant disquiet that had settled in her depths the day Jac arrived at camp. A night with Emily might let her shake free of the nagging turmoil, but she couldn’t help thinking she was using Emily, and that was unacceptable. “I’m lousy company tonight, Em. I’m sorry. Maybe I should go.”

“I don’t think that’s what you need. I remember last year when boot camp was in swing—you were tired, sure, but you were also having a great time. You don’t look that way right now.”

Mallory shifted her gaze before Emily saw too much. She’d wanted to be a forest ranger since the first time her father took her and her older brother camping when she was four. Her father had instilled his love of nature in both his kids, but only Rob followed Bill James down the academic path and became a botanist. Mallory didn’t want to study nature, she wanted to be in it, and what better way than to be guarding it against destruction. She loved her work, but after last summer, when she lost her crew, the pleasure always came with a backlash of pain. She couldn’t blame that tumult on Jac, even if Jac did make her shaky balance feel even shakier. She smiled wanly. “I’m a year older now. Maybe it’s catching up to me.”

“Uh-huh.” Emily sat forward, radiating calm acceptance. “Mallory, why don’t we go out for a little while? We’ll relax, have some fun, maybe a drink or two, and if you want to come back here, I’d love for you to do that. If you don’t, we will still have had a wonderful night.”

Mallory stared down at their joined hands. “I’m sorry, Emily. I’m bad company, and you deserve better.”

“I disagree. You’re wonderful company, and I enjoy seeing you whether we end up in bed or not.”

“Thanks,” Mallory said softly, lifting her gaze to Emily’s. “You’re a fabulous woman, and whoever you take to bed ought to be there a hundred percent.”

“Absolutely. I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Emily scooted into Mallory’s lap, put her arms around Mallory’s neck, and kissed her. She rested her forehead against Mallory’s. “You’re an honorable woman, Mallory James. And I appreciate it. But please don’t put me on a pedestal, either. Believe me, I can enjoy a no-strings-attached hot romp in the sheets as much as anyone.”

Mallory grinned and kissed her back. “I’ll be sure to remember that, Ms. Postmistress.”

“See that you do.” Emily jumped up and tugged Mallory’s hand. “Now, take me out on the town.”

Feeling lighter than she had in days, Mallory looped her arm around Emily’s waist. “Your wish…my command. Where to?”

Emily laughed. “Where else? Tommy’s.”

*

“Slow slow quick quick,” Jac muttered while Reba wailed in the background. She lost the count and bumped Sarah off stride. Again. “Hell. Maybe you better lead.”

“You’re doing great.” Sarah tugged Jac’s arm tighter around her waist and subtly guided Jac through the pattern of a close Texas two-step. “Don’t look at your feet.”

“I can’t help it. I don’t want to step on yours.”

“You will if you look down. Look in my eyes.” Sarah squeezed Jac’s left hand. “You’ve got great rhythm. Go with it.”

“I feel like a klutz.” Jac followed Sarah’s instructions and concentrated on looking into Sarah’s eyes. The indigo irises sparked with flecks of gold, hints of fire against an evening sky. “This might not be good idea.”

“Why?”

“Your eyes are beautiful.”

Sarah blushed. “Thank you.”

“That wasn’t a line, you know.”

“I don’t care if it was, it was very nice.” Sarah moved a little closer. “Want to try going a little faster?”

“Oh man, you like to live dangerously.”

Laughing, Sarah leaned back in Jac’s arms and shook her head. “Not usually, but tonight, I’m feeling adventurous.”

Jac raised her eyebrows. “Oh?”

“Don’t worry, your virtue is safe. I’m not planning on seducing you.”

“Well damn, now my night is ruined.” Jac grinned and Sarah did something complicated that had her ducking and twirling under Sarah’s raised arm before she could think about it and trip herself. “Hey!”

“See? Told you.”

Sarah raised Jac’s arm, made a mirror-image twist underneath, and then Sarah was in her arms again and Jac didn’t think. She just felt Sarah and the rise and fall of Reba’s lament about love gone bad. Holding Sarah felt good, comfortable. “Thanks for this.”

Sarah rested her cheek lightly on Jac’s shoulder. “You’re welcome. I needed it too. It’s been a crappy spring.”

“Want to tell me about it?” Jac asked.

“Nah. He’s not worth wasting a good dance on. But thanks for the offer.”

Jac dipped her head. “Any time.”

Sarah laughed. “Now that sounded like a line.”

“Busted.”

“Oh look,” Sarah pointed their joined hands to the far side of the wide dance floor that took up half the rustic bar, “there’s some of our crowd over there. I figured they’d end up here sooner or later. Want to join them?”

Steeling herself, Jac looked in the direction Sarah had pointed, and her stomach fell. Anderson, Ray, and Cooper sat at a table against the railing at the edge of the dance floor. Mallory wasn’t there. “Sure.”

When the song ended, she and Sarah threaded their way through the crowd toward the guys. By the time they reached the table, already crowded with beer bottles and shot glasses, Ray and Cooper had dragged over chairs for them.

“You look pretty good out there,” Anderson said to Jac.

“Sarah makes me look good,” Jac said.

Ray snorted and handed her a Heineken. “Good thing somebody does.”

“Ha ha.” Jac pulled up a chair for Sarah and then one for herself. Another song started, and Ray leaned over to Sarah and asked if she’d like to dance.

“Sure,” Sarah said, and they went off to the dance floor.

“You’ll forgive me if I don’t ask you to dance,” Anderson said. “Two left feet.”

“Me too, usually,” Jac said. “Sarah really is good.”

“My wife probably wouldn’t be overjoyed to know I was out on the town with a couple of gorgeous women, either.”

Jac laughed. “You’re pretty safe with me, Anderson.”

He grinned. “Likewise.”

“And just for the record, Sarah isn’t my date.”

“Not keeping score.” He stared across the dance floor, then waved. “Looks like we’re in for a real party tonight.”

Jac spun in her chair and told herself to breathe. The initial swell of excitement quickly turned to a hard lump of disappointment. Mallory had finally appeared, but she wasn’t alone. A very pretty woman had her arm looped through Mallory’s as they navigated the crowd, greeting people as they passed. They looked like they’d been here before. They looked like a couple.

“Yeah,” Jac said quietly. “I guess we’re all here now.”