Flirting with Fire: A Summer Camp Swingers novel

Chapter 3

Allie told her daughters to get ready to leave after they finished their ice cream. Unfortunately, my own daughters had been drilled since birth to be polite, so I probably shouldn’t have been surprised when Susie spoke up.

“But… it’s so hot at their house. Why can’t they spend the night here?”

For a moment Allie thought I’d put her up to it, although she calmed down when she saw that I was just as surprised (and annoyed) as she was. She thanked us for the offer but said they couldn’t stay, and I immediately backed her up. Madison and Carly weren’t having it. They complained until Allie lost her temper.

“Get in the car,” she snapped. “Now! Go.”

They gathered their things and left in a cloud of childish resentment. I followed them out to the car and waited until the girls had closed their doors. Allie turned to face me, keys in hand.

“Sorry about that,” I said lamely. “I should’ve said something sooner. I didn’t mean to put you on the spot.”

“Don’t worry about it.” She gave me a smile that was only a shade warmer than her eyes. Then she climbed into the SUV, and I closed the door behind her. At least she waved goodbye before she pulled away. I returned it with a smile that I didn’t feel either. In reality, I was pretty sure I’d screwed up, big time.

Back inside, Susie, Emily, and McKenna were still scratching their heads over what had just happened, although they shrugged it off with the speed of innocents. Then they decided to move their slumber party to the pool house. They’d done it before, so I wasn’t worried. Besides, they’d have the dogs with them.

Spike and Buck weren’t the best guard dogs in the world, but they’d investigate anything unusual and make a racket in the process. Molly, on the other hand, would literally die before she’d let anything happen to Emily.

The girls gathered blankets, pillows, stuffed animals, DVDs, and snacks. The dogs followed eagerly from room to room. Then, with arms full and tails a-wagging, they noisily decamped to the pool house for the night.

* * *

I returned to the main house through the kitchen and turned off lights on my way to the bedroom, where I stripped off my shirt and shorts. I was just about to turn on the shower when my cell phone buzzed. I’d forgotten about it completely in the excitement of the past hour.

It buzzed again, and the little screen showed the voicemail icon next to the caller ID. I flipped it open before the current call went to voicemail too.

“Hey, Little Bit,” I said. “How’re you?”

“Grumpy. Tired. Hungry. Again. Ugh!”

I sat on the bench at the end of the bed. “You wanna talk about it?”

“Not really.” Then she did anyway. “Why do we let Lauren live?”

Lauren, not Laurie. So it had been one of those days.

“Because she’s our daughter,” I said, “and we love her?”

“I’m not so sure. I don’t like her very much right now.”

“The usual?”

“Hold on,” she said with one of her leaps, “who were you talking to earlier?”

“Ah, so you’re the voicemail?”

“I called, like, a dozen times—”

I mentally adjusted for Christy-math and revised the calls down to, like, three or four.

“—but it went to voicemail every time.”

“Sorry about that,” I said. “I left my phone on the patio when the pizza got here. And then McKenna was talking to Leah after that.”

“Oh,” Christy said, pacified if not exactly satisfied. “Okay. Well, you can ignore them. The voicemails, I mean. Anyway, where was I? Oh, right. Your daughter.”

“So… she’s my daughter now?” I suppressed a grin, but she heard it anyway.

“Funny, ha ha, Mr. Daddy’s Girl. That’s all I heard tonight. ‘Dad does this…’ and ‘Dad does that…’ According to her, I can’t do anything right. I swear, Paul… One of these days she’s going to have a daughter of her own, and then she’ll see!”

“Probably,” I agreed. “Was it just the usual huffs and eye-rolls?”

“Of course. Only, now she’s started to ignore me when I tell her something she doesn’t like.”

I didn’t point out where she’d learned that annoying little habit. Christy’s headstrong chickens were definitely coming home to roost.

“Mmm,” I said instead. “You want me to talk to her?”

“No. She’s asleep, thank goodness. Missy too. Almost as soon as we came home after dinner.”

“Worn out?”

“Of course. I told her she could call you in the morning, before we head to the pool.”

“Sounds like a plan,” I said. “Is that the only reason you’re grumpy?”

“Isn’t it enough?” she shot back. “I can’t believe I wanted children in the first place. And now I want more? Ugh. I swear, Paul, sometimes I think I’m crazy.” She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Her mood went from feisty to glum. “Maybe this time I’ll get it right.”

“You got it right the first time. The first three times.”

“No. No, I didn’t. Laurie doesn’t trust me, Emily does everything on her own, and Susie might as well be your child.”

“That isn’t true and you know it.”

“I suppose. But I really messed things up when I was drinking. I’m trying to make amends, but…” She took another slow, calming breath. “It’s just so difficult.”

“No one ever said being a parent was easy.”

“I know. Only, I want at least one child who loves me.”

“You have three.”

“You know what I mean. Yeah, I know,” she added before I could reply, “we’ll talk about it next week.”

I decided to change the subject. “How was camp today?”

Christy brightened immediately. She wasn’t very happy with Laurie at the moment, but her pride hadn’t suffered a bit.

“Good. No, great! Laurie even started having fun. When she wasn’t annoyed with me, I mean.”

“How are the instructors?”

“Oh my gosh, they’re amazing. Two Olympic medalists and a coach from the US National team.”

“Wow!”

“Mmm. That’s why Wren wanted to come here instead of the other camps. The coaches are a lot better. The other girls, too. Some of them are really fast, especially the older ones. Two have scholarships already, to Duke and UNC. Laurie figured it out pretty quick, and she’s already started to push herself.”

“That’s awesome. But be careful,” I cautioned. “You know how she is. She’ll do the opposite if she thinks you want something.”

“I know. But Wren and I have a plan. Laurie will do anything for her, so I’m going to fade into the background.”

“Are you okay with that?”

“No,” she said immediately, “but I want what’s best for Laurie. Besides, I think she finally understands what I’ve been trying to tell her. What it’s like to be a little fish in a big pond, I mean. She’s used to winning easily, and she doesn’t like it when she doesn’t.”

Wren’s voice sounded in the background, “I bought ice cream and Chex Mix. Which—?”

“Oh my gosh, ice cream,” Christy said. “Yum! Gimme. No, the other one, the drumstick.”

“Who’re you—? Never mind.” Wren raised her voice, “Hey, Paul! I’m taking care of her, don’t worry.”

“Tell her thanks,” I chuckled, and Christy repeated it as she tore open the drumstick wrapper.

“Thank you, my love. This is perfect, exactly what I wanted.” She continued with barely a pause after she’d taken a bite. “Okay, Mr. Voicemail, you’ve heard about my day. How was yours? Did you have fun at the party? It’s been, like, a million years since I told you.”

“I know what you mean. Anyway, the party was fine. We…”

She ate her ice cream while I gave her a rundown of everything that had happened since our last phone call.

“Hold on,” she said when I finished, “why didn’t you ask her to spend the night?”

“Who?” Wren demanded from the background.

“Allie.”

“Oh, brother.” Wren raised her voice again, “That was quick! We haven’t even been gone a whole day. Did you at least get lucky?”

“No,” I said, more disgusted than I realized.

“Hush, Wren. Sorry,” Christy said to me. “What happened?”

“Nothing. I just read the signals wrong. She was flirting for fun. She wasn’t serious.”

“Maybe while she was still married,” Christy insisted, “but that was because of Ken. She’s been pretty serious since they separated. She tries to hide it, but I can tell.”

“I don’t know what to tell you,” I disagreed mildly. “I invited her to spend the night. I even gave her the option to pretend it was just a sleepover for the girls. She declined.” Firmly.

“Hmm. She must’ve panicked. She knows about us. Our relationship, I mean. I even told her she’s welcome to borrow you.”

“Borrow me?”

“You know what I mean.”

“Wish you’d mentioned it to me,” I grumbled.

“Paul, dear…”

“I know,” I sighed. “It’s what you do.”

“Yes. Besides, she hasn’t slept with anyone since Ken. It wasn’t very good even before they split. She has toys, but it isn’t the same. She needs a penis, Paul.”

“You oughta let me try,” Wren said in the background.

Christy sighed. “Wren, please… this is serious.”

“I know! I can totally turn her. I’ll add her to my collection.”

“She’s a person, Wren,” Christy said, “not a trophy.”

I couldn’t help but smile. I’d said the same thing to Trip, countless times. But he had matured, while Wren had regressed. The more things changed, the more they stayed the same.

“Don’t worry,” Christy told her, “Paul can do it.”

“Yeah, but who’s gonna do me?” Wren play-whined.

“Later. I told you. Now… if you don’t mind?” She paused before she returned to me. “Maybe you can try again tomorrow?”

“We’ll see,” I said noncommittally.

“Her air conditioner won’t be fixed till Monday, will it? So, invite her to the pool to hang out.”

“We’ll see,” I repeated. Christy called me Mr. Positive, but I wasn’t so sure this time. I knew a no when I heard it, and Allie had given me a hard one.

The little head did his Beavis and Butt-head impression, Hehe, hehe, she gave you a hard one.

“Oh my gosh,” Christy laughed. “I totally heard that! What did he say?”

I sighed.

“Something about a hard-on?” she guessed.

“Am I really that predictable?”

“No,” she said with a smile in her voice, “but he is.”

“You can say that again.”

“No, but he is.”

I ignored her teasing. “Anyway, I love you—”

“I love you too.”

“—and I’ll put my phone on the charger by the bed.”

“Okay. I’ll give Laurie mine before breakfast. Then maybe she won’t be so rude. I swear, Paul… One day…”

I chuckled and smiled. “I know. Anyway, I’d better let you get some sleep.”

“Or something,” she agreed, and Wren whooped in the background. “Oh, boy,” Christy sighed. “She’s turning into a teenager again. I swear. Anyway… where were we?”

“Saying goodnight.”

“Right. I love you. Sleep well. And tell Mr. Big I said hello.”

“I love you too,” I said. “G’night.”

“Goodnight.”

I closed the phone and ended the call.

“Christy says hello,” I said to the little head. “But it looks like it’s just you and Rosy tonight.”

And whose fault is that?

Not mine, I shot back.

Uh-huh. Whatever. Now, do you wanna do it in the shower for old time’s sake or in bed like a lonely bachelor?

I decided to call his bluff. Or not at all. I mean, if—

No! No! I didn’t mean it. I swear. The shower, in bed, whatever you want. We can even put in a sex tape.

I sighed. Forty years old and still jerking off.

At least the porn’s better. I mean, home movies… who doesn’t love those?

True. Speaking of which…

Yes!

* * *

My days of early morning runs were a thing of the past. I wasn’t a twenty-something anymore, or even a thirty-something. These days I did yoga instead of full-contact martial arts, and I occasionally reminded myself that getting older meant wiser too. That was the theory, at least. Sometimes I even believed it.

In any event, I didn’t get up early for workouts anymore, and especially not on a Sunday. So I was sound asleep when Laurie called at six thirty. Still, I answered on the third ring and came awake fairly quickly.

Laurie chattered about her instructors, the girls in her age group, and even the pool. Her comments mostly amounted to, “Oh my gosh, Dad, they’re so cool,” while mine were fatherly encouragement.

“Hey,” I said before we wrapped up, “do me a favor. Be nice to your mom. She’s spending a lot of time and money for your benefit.”

“I know.”

“I’m serious,” I said. “You might not know this, but she paid for this trip herself, with her own money.”

“What? I thought… I mean…”

“I offered to pay for it, but she wanted to do it herself. She wanted to go with you, too,” I added. “She didn’t need to. You could’ve gone by yourself with Wren and Missy.”

“Why? Did she come with us, I mean.”

“Why do you think? She loves you and she’s proud of you.”

“I know.”

“Then maybe you should act like it?” I suggested.

She fell silent, surly this time.

“Lauren…”

“Fine,” she huffed, “whatever.”

“Lemme give you a piece of advice,” I said patiently. “You won’t listen now, but you’ll remember it in five or ten years and have an aha moment. Trust me, I still do it.”

“Do what?”

“Remember things my dad told me when I was your age. He was right about most of them, but it took me a while to realize it. Anyway, the advice… Your mom and I don’t treat you a certain way and then hope you’ll act like it. It’s the other way around. So, if you want us to treat you like a grown-up…”

She sighed in resignation. “I’m supposed to act like it?”

“Yep.”

“Unh! That isn’t fair.”

“Maybe, maybe not. But think about this… Have you ever won a trophy before you swam in the race?”

“No,” she sulked.

“Exactly. The race comes first. Then the recognition. That’s the way the world works. You’ll figure it out. Hopefully sooner than I did.”

“I suppose.”

“You will,” I said. “I have faith in you. And I love you.”

“I love you too, Dad.”

“I’m serious, though… be nice to your mom.”

“I’ll try.”

“Ah-ah,” I corrected. “Do or do not. There is no try.”

The girls had all grown up watching the original Star Wars movies with me, so Laurie knew exactly what I was talking about.

“Yoda? Seriously?”

I did a passable impression, “Good advice it is.”

She laughed, which was what I’d wanted.

“Okay,” she said. “I will.”

“Thank you.”

We talked for a moment longer and then said goodbye.

I thought about going back to sleep—it was Sunday, after all—but I was too awake. I decided to go for a swim instead. I rolled out of bed and felt a guilty sense of relief that Allie and her girls hadn’t spent the night, since I didn’t need to bother with a suit. The air was already warm and sticky when I stepped onto the patio, but the water felt nice.

Emily and Molly emerged from the pool house a little while later. I wiped my eyes and slicked the water out of my hair.

“Good morning, Froggy,” I said.

She was wearing a Naval Academy T-shirt that Rich had given her. Christy and I slept in the nude, but we wanted the girls to sleep in nightshirts or pajamas, at least until they were Laurie’s age. Then they could decide for themselves.

Emily rubbed an eye and brushed back her sleep-tousled hair. It had already started to lighten from its normal blonde. It would be the color of flax by the end of the summer, and her skin would turn a rich honey-brown, even if she wore sunscreen. (Christy and the older girls used it to prevent skin cancer. Susie and I used SPF 1,000 to prevent third-degree lobster jokes. Sometimes I really hated my pale ancestors. But I digress.)

“Care to join me?” I offered.

“Do I have to wear a suit?”

“I’m not.”

She took off her shirt and laid it neatly on a lounge chair. Then she skinned off her panties and tossed them on top of her shirt.

“Come on, Mols.” The dog obediently joined her and splashed down the steps. Emily gasped, “Oh my gosh, it’s cold!”

“Eh, you get used to it.”

“I know. At least it’s not as cold as the lake. At camp, I mean. But you’re sort of ready for it there.”

Emily waded toward me, while Molly dog-paddled confidently beside her. The girl wasn’t much bigger than the dog, and the water came to just below her chest.

“Hey, Dad…?” she said.

Molly paddled over and checked me out, just to be sure. I could’ve been a stranger with a full-body disguise, after all. I smelled like me, so she circled back to Emily.

“Hey, Dad,” she repeated, “I was thinking… Do you think we could invite Madison and Carly to camp?”

My eyebrows rose a notch. “What do you mean?”

“Only that I was talking to her yesterday. Madison, I mean. She asked what we were doing after dance camp, and I told her. She said it sounds fun.”

“I don’t think so,” I said automatically.

“Why not? She said her mom goes nude around the house sometimes, especially now that her dad isn’t there.”

“It’s a bit more complicated than that,” I said.

“Why?”

“Because they aren’t nudists.”

“Madison wants to try, though. Carly too. They said so. Yesterday, I mean. Only, not just yesterday. We’ve talked about it before. You said it was okay, remember?”

“I remember,” I said calmly. We normally didn’t tell other people we were nudists, but Allie and her girls were an exception.

“So… can we?” Emily pressed. “Invite them, I mean.”

“We’ll see.”

She huffed. “That’s what you always say, ‘We’ll see,’ when you really mean, ‘No.’” She had a point.

“Tell you what,” I said, “I’ll talk to Madison’s mom and see what she thinks. No promises,” I stressed. “I meant what I said, it’s a bit more complicated, especially for grown-ups.”

“Why? Sex stuff?”

My eyes didn’t quite pop out of my head, but they certainly tried.

“’Cause I know all about it,” Emily continued with child-like confidence.

I kept my expression neutral. “Oh, you do? Okay.”

“Yeah. I know it’s what grown-ups do. Normally, I mean. When they’re naked.”

“Sometimes,” I agreed, “but not always. I mean, your mom and I are nude all the time. The same with our friends. Sometimes we just like to hang out that way.”

“Yeah, but that’s ’cause we’re nudists. I’m talking about being naked. I know all about it. We learned in Health and Wellness. The sex stuff, I mean, and why it’s complicated.”

I knew better than to step on that little land mine, especially with my eleven-year-old daughter.

“But Madison’s mom’s cool,” she continued. “I don’t think she’d mind. Being nude, I mean, especially around us.”

I couldn’t argue with her logic.

“So… you’ll ask her? About camp?”

“We’ll see—” I gave her a sheepish grin, and she rewarded me with a smug one. “I’ll talk to her,” I said instead. “No promises, though. And I don’t want to hear any whining if she says no. Okay?”

“Okay. Thanks, Dad.” She thought of something and changed the subject. “Do you think we can have pancakes for breakfast? Banana ones like Grandpa makes? With strawberries and bacon?”

Just to be clear, it was turkey bacon. None of the girls ate beef or pork, and Laurie claimed to be a vegetarian. In her case it had started as teenage rebellion against her mother, but lately I wasn’t so sure. Her last science fair project had been about industrial farming. Since then she’d lost her appetite for anything raised on land. I’d seen her project, and I couldn’t really blame her.

Fortunately, Emily’s metabolism couldn’t afford to be picky.

“Sure,” I said, “I think we can manage that.”

“Oh, and maybe some scrambled eggs,” she added thoughtfully. “Cheesy ones.”

“Good idea.”

“Yeah. I think I wanna be 5’3”. Just to be sure.”

* * *

My cell phone rang almost as soon as Mark left with McKenna after breakfast. At first I thought they’d forgotten something, but then I saw the caller ID.

“Hello?”

“Hey,” Allie said. “How’re you?”

“I’m fine. And you?”

We made small talk for a moment before she came to the point.

“I want to apologize for last night.”

“What? Why?”

“The way I handled things,” she said. “I was annoyed at the girls, not you.”

“I kinda figured. Besides, you don’t need to explain.”

“I know, but I wanted you to know.”

“That’s cool.” I had a thought and chuckled at the way my mind worked. Maybe I was more like Christy than I wanted to admit. “Speaking of cool…,” I continued, “do you have plans today?”

“Not really,” Allie said. “Why?”

“You’re welcome to come over and hang out.”

“We couldn’t,” she said automatically.

“Why not?”

“We don’t want to wear out our welcome. And I’m sure you have things to do.”

“Not really,” I said. “And you’re welcome any time. Besides, it’s supposed to be even hotter today. I know you have to be miserable without air conditioning.”

“Last night was awful,” she admitted.

“Did you sleep at all?”

“Not really.”

I chuckled. “You can take a nap in the pool house if you want.”

“That’s tempting.”

I could join you, the little head said in his bedroom voice.

Will you stop! She isn’t interested.

“Come on over,” I said aloud. “The girls can hang out, and you can cool off.”

“If you’re sure…?”

“I’m sure. Any time.”

“Is right now too soon?” she laughed.

“Nope. I’ll tell the girls. See you when you get here.”