Forbidden

9

UNABLE TO SLEEP, despite how relaxed her body and mind were, Paige scoured the bookshelf in the guest bedroom for something to read. She was still basking in the warmth, teasing and family harmony that had carried through the evening. There was so much love evident in this household, and none of the Marchianos minded sharing that affection with her. With Anthony, she’d felt so alone for so long, craving the kind of kinship no phone call home could ease. At least for the weekend, she felt she belonged to this crazy, loving, wonderful family. And soon she’d be back in Connecticut with her own parents and siblings.

Skimming past the true-crime paperbacks to the next row down, Paige selected a short romance novel with a light premise, propped her pillows against the headboard of her bed and settled in for a few hours’ escape.

Minutes later, a quiet knock sounded at the door. Before she could issue an invitation, Josh slipped inside her room, closing the door soundlessly behind him. He’d changed from his casual attire of that afternoon into a pair of soft cotton pajama shorts and nothing else. His chest was gloriously bare, his body firmly muscled. Considering he slept beside her in his briefs on a nightly basis, she would have thought she’d have grown immune to the sight of his toned body. But it never failed to elicit a delicious heat and excitement, and forbidden thoughts that had no business being in her head.

Holding a plate with a slice of German chocolate cake on it, he moved toward the bed. “Hi,” he murmured, an irresistible grin curving across his mouth.

The warm, sexy rumble of his voice made her increasingly aware of the skimpy chemise she’d grabbed from the boutique to wear. At the time, she hadn’t given much thought to night visitors or bringing along a robe to cover up. The silky material, held up by thin straps, covered her adequately from breast to thigh, yet the snug bodice displayed enough cleavage to draw Josh’s eye and make her self-conscious.

“Hi, yourself.” Setting the book aside, she tugged her covers a little higher. “Are you sure you should be in here?”

He hesitated at the opposite side of the bed. “Don’t you want me here?”

“Of course I want you here,” she replied, her response honest. “I always enjoy talking to you. But isn’t everyone in bed for the night?”

“Yeah, which means my parents will never know I was here.” He sounded like a mischievous little boy getting away with something sneaky. Without asking, he pulled down the covers, fluffed up the pillow and slipped into bed beside her as if he belonged there, all the while balancing that huge piece of cake. Settling in, he shoved a bite into his mouth and chewed. “So, you couldn’t sleep either, huh?”

He sat so close, her next breath was filled with the warm, male scent of him. And the fragrance of chocolate. The powerful combination went straight to her head. “No, but I feel totally relaxed.”

“That’s exactly what I want to hear.” He lifted his fork to her mouth, tempting her with a piece slathered in rich frosting. “Want a bite?” His smile was wolfish and daring.

It wasn’t sweets she suddenly craved. “No, thanks. I’m still full from dinner.” She watched him devour the slice in record time and shook her head. “Isn’t that your third piece tonight?”

“Yeah,” he said, unrepentant. The last bite disappeared between his lips and he closed his eyes to savor the taste.

Her gaze dropped to his lips, watching the way his tongue licked away the crumbs and frosting there. Her stomach fluttered and an achy emptiness grew inside her. Struggling to keep her need for this man at bay, she poked him in his firm abdomen and teased, “You’d better be careful, Detective Marchiano, or you’re gonna get soft around the middle.”

His lashes lifted, and a frown wrinkled his forehead, as if the possibility concerned him. “You think so?”

Her mouth tipped up in a grin. “Keep eating like that and you will.”

“No worry there.” Setting the plate on the nightstand next to him, he rolled onto his side to face her and propped himself up with his elbow. The movement twisted the covers around his hips, made them slide down to her waist. His dark, smoky eyes didn’t miss that fact, or the sight of her nipples beading against silk. “Once we get home I’ll be back to my steady regimen of coffee, fruit on the run and prefab microwave dinners, when I remember to eat.” He rubbed his flat belly. “That bland diet always keeps me fit and trim.”

“Microwave dinners?” Infusing her tone with feigned pity, she reached out and with her palm, caressed the light stubble lining his jaw. “Aww, poor baby.”

He caught her hand before she could withdraw it, and just like that, the spark between them flared to life. She saw the magical awareness in his gaze, felt it in the subtle tightening of her body. His eyes seemed to pull her into their golden depths, seducing her, leaving her breathless with anticipation.

Bringing her fingers to his lips, he touched the tips with his tongue, let his warm breath caress the dampness. A delicious shiver raced up her arm, pooled heavily in private places.

That lazy smile of his slowly eased up the corner of his mouth. “If you genuinely felt sorry for me, you’d marry me and make sure I got three healthy meals a day.” His voice held an odd tightness, despite its casual, humorous tone.

A growing pressure banded her chest, painful in its intensity. She wanted to believe he was joking, but knew beneath all that charm and seduction his words were as serious as an out-and-out proposal. She let him down as gently as possible. “You wouldn’t be home most of the time to eat dinner, let alone breakfast and lunch.”

He absently stroked the inside of her wrist with his thumb, generating tiny circles of heat. “If I had you to come home to, you could bet I’d make every effort to enjoy every meal and then some.”

Sadness and regret flickered through her. “That kind of devotion ends once the honeymoon is over.”

Promises of forever shimmered in his gaze. “It doesn’t have to.”

“In my experience, it does,” she argued.

Somewhere along the way, their conversation had taken a personal spin, their words filled with meaning. Josh wanted her in his life, intimately and permanently; she couldn’t bring herself to commit her heart and soul, and a man like Josh would accept no less.

He didn’t push the issue, though she caught a fleeting glimpse of frustration in his expression. He released her hand, severing the tie between them, and Paige felt as though she were adrift, with no anchor in sight. She fought an overwhelming urge to cry for everything she’d lost in that single moment and blamed it on those unruly hormones flowing through her body.

He pulled in a deep breath and eased it out just as slowly, seemingly searching for his own stable ground. “Joel seemed awfully attentive with you today,” he commented.

That made her smile, because he sounded and looked so sullen-like a child who’d had his favorite toy taken away. “Joel is always an outrageous flirt. You’re just being more sensitive than normal.”

“Am I?” His brows lowered into the same scowl he’d shot at his brother a few times that evening.

“Yeah, you are.” She ruffled his thick, silky hair, loving the feel of the warm strands sliding through her fingers. “I never thought you were the jealous type.”

“I’ve never had a reason to be. Until now.” His voice was slightly rough, a ragged kind of velvet that was as dark and soft as the night. “I’m finding that I don’t like the thought of another man touching you.”

His gaze trapped her, holding her hostage as they teetered on the sharp edge of a very sensitive issue. When she found her voice again, she replied, “That’s awfully possessive.”

He shrugged a shoulder, the look in his eyes unapologetic. “Yeah, I suppose it is. But that’s the way I feel about you, all the more so because I stand the chance of losing you.”

Her heart stopped, then resumed at a breakneck pace. She saw the determination glowing in his gaze, and undiluted panic raced through her blood, filling every pore with a throbbing, aching kind of fear.

“I love you, Paige,” he said, low and fierce.

Oh, Lord, she’d known that was coming, thought she’d prepared herself to hear those three little words from Josh and not let her need and yearning interfere with her self-control. She shook her head in a frantic attempt to stop the rush of emotion bubbling to the surface. “Josh, no,” she forced out, her voice choked.

“More than friends,” he went on with a tender ruthlessness, ignoring her plea. “More than acquaintances.” In a blur of movement she couldn’t have anticipated, he grasped her hips and dragged her closer, until his body pressed against her side and his face loomed above hers. Her hands automatically caught his arms, holding on as uncertainty played havoc with her mind.

Male heat radiated from him, raw and untamed. He locked his gaze with hers, the intensity in the depths of those amber orbs shaking her resolve. “I love you.”

A shudder ripped through her, stripping away the protective layers she’d secured around her heart. She had no defenses when it came to Josh. Her need and desire for him was too strong to deny, and she suspected he knew it, too.

Tears stung her eyes. The reciprocating words jammed in her throat, wouldn’t pry loose. Knowing no other way to express her feelings, she slid her fingers into his thick hair, brought his mouth to hers and kissed him with all the love that crowded her heart to overflowing-for him.

He groaned at the first touch of her lips on his, the sound encouraging her. His strong body shuddered when she boldly stroked her tongue against his. From there he took over, responding to the fevered heat burning between them. He kissed her just as deeply, just as demandingly. Neither could get enough of the other, their hunger and need an insatiable thing.

Hard and urgent eventually gave way to soft and exploring. Time slipped away as they indulged in every kind of kiss imaginable. Languid, drugging kisses. Tender, cherishing kisses. Deep, wet, slippery kisses that made her melt. Sexy, erotic kisses that elicited a greater need and urged her to move shamelessly against him.

With his mouth still fused to hers, he shifted, slipping a hard thigh between hers. She welcomed the pressure, gasped when he rubbed sensuously against that tender nub of flesh that throbbed so insistently at the apex of her thighs.

Her body quickened and her hips undulated. She made a desperate sound, tightened her thighs around his and arched, but she couldn’t get close enough. Oh, God, had she ever needed anything so badly? Her breath came in heavy pants, and she tore her mouth from Josh’s. His dark eyes reflected the same passion thrumming through her veins.

“Josh…” Confusion and wanting thickened her voice.

“Shh…” Tangling his fingers into her hair, he lowered his head to feather more kisses over her lips, her jaw, her throat, drawing a moan of pleasure from her. “We’re just kissing and touching,” he murmured, nuzzling her neck, then lapping his tongue over the pulse fluttering at the base. “Feels good, doesn’t it?”

Better than good, she thought. Closing her eyes, she cradled his face in her hands and brought his lips back to hers, answering his question with a lazy, openmouthed, tongue-tangling kiss. The hand on her hip roamed, sliding upward over silk. He pushed aside the thin strap of her chemise, eased it down her shoulder and cupped the heavy weight of her breast in his palm.

She sucked in a sharp breath when his thumb flicked over her taut nipple. Her breasts felt swollen, heavy, too sensitive. He lightened his touch, brushed his knuckles over the velvety crest to soothe the ache, but even that simple caress electrified her nerve endings. She couldn’t stop the whimper that escaped her throat.

He lifted his head and looked at her, concern knitting his brows. “Are you okay?”

She bit her lower lip and nodded, unwilling to voice her suspicions about why her breasts ached. Remembering what had happened the last time they’d been in such a compromising position on a bed, she lifted the strap of her chemise back where it belonged and said, “I don’t think this is such a good idea.”

He gave her a lopsided smile. “I think it’s a great idea, but I understand.” Reluctantly, he moved back to his side of the bed. “I guess we ought to call it a night.”

She nodded her agreement, already missing the warmth of his body next to hers. Regretting, too, that the evening had to end this way.

Picking up his plate, he headed for the door. Hand on the knob, he hesitated and glanced back at her. His gaze was fierce as it held hers. And incredibly warm. “I meant what I said earlier, Paige. I love you.” Then he was gone.

Emotion welled inside her and she tried not to cry at the hopelessness of their situation, but lost the battle. A one tear trickled down her cheek and she whispered to the empty, lonely room what she couldn’t bring herself to say to Josh. “I love you, too. More than friends. More than acquaintances.”

She always would.

“SO, YOU WANT to tell me what’s going on between you md Paige?” Nick asked the question as they each saddled up a horse for the early-afternoon ride Josh planned to take Paige on before they headed back to Miami. “Besides you guarding her until the case is over?”

Josh slanted his father a wry look, wondering where that insightful question had come from. Since Paige was up at the house helping his mother clean up after lunch, he felt relatively safe in discussing the subject. “Are my feelings that obvious?”

Nick shrugged his broad shoulders as he fitted a saddle onto Desirée’s back. “I know you’ve always cared for her, but your mother and I were talking last night md we both sense something between the two of you has changed. Has it?”

“My feelings for Paige have grown over the years,” he admitted, unable to deny the truth to his father. “But I never would have acted upon them with her being married to Anthony. Now that he’s gone, I think we’ve ooth realized there’s more to our relationship than just being friends.” Coaxing Paige into admitting those emotions, though, was another thing. The kiss she’d instigated last night spoke volumes, but it wasn’t enough, not when he wanted forever with her.

“What are you going to do about it?” Nick asked after a quiet moment had passed.

“I honestly don’t know.” Josh tightened the girth on Lacey’s saddle, then gave her an affectionate rub along her sleek neck. “Anthony didn’t leave Paige with the best impression of being a cop’s wife, and I’m finding it difficult to compete with those bad memories.”

Understanding glimmered in Nick’s gaze. “Not everyone is cut out to be a cop’s wife. You know that as well as I do.”

“Mom did it,” Josh stated, not wanting to think about the high divorce rate within their profession.

“Your mother could have been a sergeant herself.”

Josh chuckled. Despite his father’s grumblings, there was no doubt in Josh’s mind that Nick’s comment was spoken with respect and adoration for the woman who’d put her husband and family above all else. And Nick had been just as loyal and dedicated. Their marriage had been a mutual compromise, a case of giveand-take.

Not so in Paige’s case. She’d given and Anthony had taken, leaving Paige empty and stung by several different forms of betrayal. Was it no wonder she was so distrusting of her feelings?

“Your mother and Paige come from two different backgrounds,” Nick went on as they led the two mares from the stable and out into the warm sunshine. “Anna grew up the oldest in a household. She was only ten when her mother died, and raising her younger brothers and sisters made her older and wiser than her years. By the time I met her, she’d already developed that take-charge kind of personality. She has an inner strength few women possess.”

Josh firmly believed Paige had that emotional fortitude within her as well. It might have withered from Anthony’s manipulative abuse and neglect, but hadn’t she demonstrated that courage when she’d made the decision to leave Anthony and demanded a divorce that last day they’d been together? She hated the situation Anthony had unwittingly dragged her into, but she’d dealt with Carranza and Bridget with an intrepidness that had made him proud.

Oh, yeah, she had more courage than she realized, or gave herself credit for. But it was up to Paige to see that strength within herself. Embrace it. Believe in it. It wasn’t something he could force upon her.

Nick looped Desiree’s reins around the second rung of the fence bordering the corral as they waited for Paige to arrive. “Your mother and I have gone through our share of problems,” Nick went on, gazing up at the house. “Some of them stemmed from my job as a cop, but when you love someone as much as I love your mother, you put your priorities in order and make it work.”

Josh had watched Paige struggle to keep her marriage to Anthony together, but without two people striving toward a common goal, it had been impossible. And as the old saying went, she was once burned, twice shy.

Lacey snorted softly and nudged Josh in the shoulder for some attention. Josh scratched her behind the ear. A few minutes later, Paige came out of the house and headed toward the stable, a relaxed smile on her face. Black stirrup pants molded to her slender legs, and an over-sized T-shirt reached to mid-thigh, hiding the more generous curves of her body. She’d pulled her auburn hair into a ponytail and wore little makeup. He couldn’t remember the last time she’d looked so refreshed and beautiful, and knew the easy, unhurried atmosphere was the reason.

Having grown up with horses, Paige slid gracefully into Desirée’s saddle. Josh followed suit with Lacey.

“Have a good time, you two,” his father said with a wave, then headed back toward the house.

Josh guided the horses toward a dirt path that led to the edge of the wooded area surrounding his parents’ house. The sun shone bright and warm, the air fresh and sweet as it carried on the slight breeze.

Paige drew a deep breath and let it out on a blissful sigh. Her body rocked in the saddle, flowing with the horse’s movements. “Can we stay here forever?”

Josh was tempted to say yes, just to keep that dazzling smile on her lips. “We can always come back. Anytime.”

She glanced at him, regret clouding her gaze, telling him she still planned on leaving him after her part in the case was over. “Your parents’ place reminds me of home. Laid-back. Casual. None of the hustle of the city. I can’t tell you how much I miss that.” Reaching down, she stroked Desirée’s withers. “I always thought I’d marry someone from Connecticut, maybe settle down on a farm, have half a dozen kids…” Her voice trailed off wistfully.

“And instead you moved to Miami and married Anthony.”

“Didn’t think twice about it, either,” she said, not without a note of self-recrimination. “I loved him, Josh, and I honestly believed he loved me, too. I wouldn’t have married him otherwise.” She gave a humorless laugh. “Unfortunately, I was wrong about Anthony’s intentions.”

Josh’s jaw tightened. “Anthony didn’t know how to appreciate what he had.”

She shrugged, resignation in her expression. “What I wanted was so simple, really. A faithful husband, a warm home filled with love and laughter, a family of my own. The kind of things most women want, I suppose.”

“I want to give you those things, Paige.”

Her fingers tightened on the reins. “And I want those things with you, too, Josh, but I hate what you do for a living, the danger, the uncertainties-”

“Then I’ll find another job.” The words spilled out automatically, desperately, without thought. His heart thudded as he waited for her answer, because he wasn’t sure if he could give up something that was so much a part of him.

She understood. “No, you won’t, because I’d never ask you to do that for me. You honestly love what you do, and I respect that, but I can’t live with it again. The long hours, the sleepless nights…the fear of loving someone I might lose.”

Frustration twisted inside him. “Life, or marriage, doesn’t come with guarantees. You won’t find them with me or anyone else.”

Sadness dimmed her green eyes. “Oh, I know that, but I can lessen the risk.”

Josh’s mood veered sharply to anger. He damned Anthony for tainting her perception of being a cop’s wife. Mostly, he damned himself for not being more assertive three years ago and laying his own claim to Paige.

Now it was too late.

“Josh…I started my period this morning,” she said quietly.

The finality of her statement sent a shaft of disappointment straight through his heart. In the deepest recesses of his soul, he realized he’d been hoping that she’d be pregnant with their baby, which would have kept her bound to him in ways his declaration of love couldn’t. Selfish, yes, but the thought of losing her tied him up in knots.

He tried to separate his anticipation from more immediate concerns. “Do we need to make a quick trip to the store?”

A small smile played around the corners of her mouth, but didn’t diminish the shadows in her eyes. “I had a feeling I was going to start soon and came prepared. I think getting away from everything finally alleviated the stress my mind and body have been under.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” His voice was rough, and he swallowed to ease the dryness.

“It’s for the best, Josh.”

He forced himself to nod. “You certainly don’t need the worry of being pregnant right now.”

“No, I don’t,” she agreed, staring toward the open field of tall grass and wildflowers stretching ahead. “Another week, two at the most, and I’ll be back in Connecticut.”

Without him. Josh’s chest tightened and his mind sifted through the dozen different ways he could coerce Paige into remaining in Florida with him and marrying him. Desperate thoughts. Self-indulgent thoughts.

He didn’t voice any of them. If he pressured her to stay, she’d be miserable, possibly grow to resent him, and he’d be no better than Anthony, who’d had no qualms about manipulating her emotions.

The decision to remain had to be made of her own free will.

He loved her and there was only one thing he could do to prove how much he cared.

He’d let her go.