Forbidden

12

HE WAS HAVING the most wonderful dream. He was being cared for by an angel with a sweet, husky voice, and soft, cool hands that caressed his brow, making him momentarily forget the searing heat in his shoulder. Gentle lips brushed his cheek. That same tempting voice whispered encouraging words in his ear.

I love you, Josh Marchiano.

Ahh, maybe he was in Heaven. Yeah, that had to be it.

He tried to move toward that cajoling voice, that delectable feminine scent that overrode more antiseptic smells, and moaned as a shaft of pain ripped along his chest and arm. He wouldn’t have thought he’d feel such burning discomfort in Heaven. Soothing fingers fluttered along his good shoulder-an angel, maybe?-distracting him from the gnawing ache on his left side.

“Come on, Marchiano, I expect you to pull through this like the tough guy you are.”

No, definitely not an angel, unless they were extremely bossy.

He forced his eyes to open, his gaze falling on the woman sitting next to him on the edge of the narrow hospital bed.

Paige.

He’d thought he’d never see her again. When he’d felt Carranza’s bullet rip through his flesh, before darkness had obliterated his mind, he’d had the fleeting thought that he’d failed her, just as Anthony had. That Carranza or one of his men would kill her, and he’d been the one to put her in such a dangerous situation. And he’d hated himself for that. Hated that he’d risked her life, and ultimately proved that he was no better than her husband had been.

But she was very much alive, and he was grateful enough for that huge blessing to know that he had to let her go, set her free.

She wore no makeup, and she’d clipped her rich auburn hair back from her pale face, which emphasized the dark crescents beneath her eyes. The depths of those striking green eyes were filled with tenderness, exhaustion and a determination that seemed soul-deep. Despite appearing fatigued and worried, she looked absolutely beautiful-as close to an angel as he would have ever wanted.

But she wasn’t his to keep confined, no matter how much he loved her. He realized that, accepted it, no matter how painful losing her would be.

“Hi,” he rasped, his throat dry and scratchy.

She smiled, a multitude of emotions shimmering in her eyes. “Hi, yourself, tough guy,” she said, her voice sounding as tight as his own had. “We’ve been waiting for you to wake up.”

His gaze scanned the small hospital room, finding it empty except for them. “We?”

“Me. Your parents. Your brothers and sisters. The entire gang.” Picking up the cup of water on a nearby tray, she slipped the straw between his lips so he could take a drink. “They’re in the lounge, but if you don’t mind, I want you for myself for a few minutes before the cavalry arrives.”

Josh knew once his family swooped in, he and Paige wouldn’t have any time alone. Selfish as it might be, he wanted every moment alone with Paige that he could get. Too soon, she’d be gone, and he’d only have memories to remember her by.

“What day is it?” he asked, trying to orient himself.

She smiled. “It’s Monday morning.”

He frowned. “I lost a day somewhere.” He tried to think back, but his mind wouldn’t cooperate. He caught images, but nothing solid. “What happened?”

“You were shot in the shoulder Saturday night at Carranza’s estate, and knocked unconscious,” she told him, gently smoothing the blanket over his chest. “You were flown to the hospital for surgery and given enough painkillers to keep you sedated for the past twenty-four hours. But you came through just fine. The doctor said you’ll be back to work within a few months.”

The last thing he wanted to think about was work. “What happened to Carranza?”

“He’s dead,” she said quietly. “Your aim was more accurate than his. Seconds after you were shot, the undercover officers arrived. Everyone involved in the jewel-smuggling ring was arrested, and they found enough evidence to make a conviction stick.”

“Good.” Josh nodded, pleased that the undercover operation had been successful and a band of criminals would be put away for a very long time. Maybe, as a result, Paige could put that nightmarish part of her past to rest, too.

He shifted to find a more comfortable position, and grimaced as his upper body protested the slightest movement. Paige immediately stood and fussed over him, using the remote control to lift his mattress until he sat up in a relaxed, reclining position. She fluffed his pillows, gave him more cold water to drink and rearranged the light blanket around his waist.

“Ummm, I could get used to this,” he teased.

She abruptly stopped her pampering, suddenly appearing nervous. He wondered if his comment had been too personal, too full of the intimation that he wanted her to stay and take care of him. He did want that, more than his next breath, but he’d already made the decision to set her free and he wouldn’t renege on that promise. He’d love her forever, but she deserved to be happy-even if that meant letting her live her own life in Connecticut with her family, thousands of miles away from him.

“How are you feeling?” she asked, propping her hip on the edge of the mattress once again, her gaze concerned, but anxious, too.

“A little uncomfortable with the pain in my shoulder, and a whole lot happy to be alive.” He reached for her hand, twining his fingers with hers. “And even happier to see that you’re okay. No one hurt you?”

She shook her head. “A few bruises, but nothing that won’t heal. Because of you, I’m fine.”

He balked at that. “I can’t take all the credit, Paige. I know how much you hate guns, and what you did was incredibly brave. I’m so proud of you. You saved both of our lives.” More hesitantly, he added, “And now that the case is over, you’re free to go back home.”

He thought she’d be relieved, but the panic that filled her expression confused him.

“I thought I’d lost you,” she whispered, moisture glittering in her incredible green eyes. “And when I saw all that blood on your shirt, all I could think was that if you died, so would I.”

A reassuring smile formed on his lips. “As you can see, I’m fine.” Reaching up, he gently brushed away“a tear that trailed down her smooth cheek. ”You’re one of the most courageous women I know.”

Paige bit her trembling bottom lip, finding it difficult to accept Josh’s praise when she’d come to a stunning conclusion while waiting for him to awaken after his surgery. “I’m a coward,” she blurted.

He laughed, then groaned as his expression of amusement caused him discomfort. “What in the world makes you think you’re a coward?”

She drew a deep, shaky breath. “Because I’m afraid-”

“You had every right to be afraid, sweetheart,” he interrupted, his tone fierce, but gentle. “You were in a life-threatening situation.”

He’d misunderstood her. Frustrated, she struggled to put her emotions into words and not fumble her chances with Josh in the process. “I’m afraid of losing you, Josh. What happened at Carranza’s estate made me realize that. Seeing you near death put things into very clear perspective.” He opened his mouth to say something but she pressed three fingers to his lips, imploring him to be quiet and just listen to her.

“My marriage to Anthony was a sham. You know that as well as I do,” she went on, realizing that part of her past wasn’t nearly as painful as it once had been. “And because of your profession, I feared that a life with you would be just as complicated. But you know what? Despite what you do for a living, you’re nothing like Anthony. In my heart, I always knew that, but admitting it was something else. What you did for me this weekend forced me to face that realization.”

His expression turned quizzical. “What did I do?” he murmured behind the press of her fingers.

“You gave your life to protect mine.”

He bristled indignantly. “Protecting you was my job.”

“Shut up, Marchiano, I’m talking,” she ordered gently. “While Anthony endangered my life, you were willing to sacrifice yours for me. I don’t think Anthony would have done that.”

He didn’t refute her claim. They both knew that Anthony had been too caught up in his own selfish desires to think of anyone but himself.

“You’re a good, honorable man, Josh.” More so than Anthony had ever been. Those honest values made all the difference in the world. “And you’re willing to let me go, despite how much you love me.”

“It’s what you want,” he said simply.

Her heart swelled at what he was willing to sacrifice for her, despite his own misery. “It’s what I thought I wanted, because I was so wrapped up in the pain of my marriage to Anthony. His betrayal. His deception. And then I thought of all the times you were there for me when Anthony wasn’t. How you so selflessly gave of yourself when I had no one to turn to. You’ve become my best friend, Josh, and I do love you.”

“Ah, Paige,” he groaned, the sound somewhere between pleasure and torment.

Emotion gathered in the back of her throat. “I can’t imagine my life without you.” The words were whispered, but she knew he heard them clearly.

He swallowed thickly. “We’ll call each other,” he rasped. “And I can visit you in Connecticut.”

She shook her head. Dam man, he just didn’t seem to comprehend what she was struggling to say. Then again, she’d given him no reason to hope for a future together. “I…I want more than just occasional phone calls and visits.”

He went very still, watching her.

Exasperated, she said, “I want to marry you, Marchiano.”

He stared, disbelief clashing with the hope she saw reflected in his gaze.

“I want to have your babies,” she whispered.

His eyes glowed with pleasure, but was quickly eclipsed by caution. “Being a cop’s wife isn’t easy,” he said gruffly. “We’ve talked about that.”

“I know all about being a cop’s wife, and I’ll always worry about you. That won’t change whether I’m here or in Connecticut.” She took his face in between her hands, capturing his golden gaze with her own. “I believe in you, and I love you enough to put my future in your hands.” She knew he would never jeopardize their commitment to each other as Anthony had. “I trust you, Josh,” she said, giving him what she hadn’t been able to give Anthony. “With my heart. My soul. My life. I’m hoping we can work on everything else together. Day by day.”

With his good arm, he raised his hand and cupped the back of her head, pulling her down for a long, deep kiss that promised a lifetime of passion, commitment and love. She leaned into him, wanting to get as close as possible, but careful, too, of his bandaged shoulder.

Finally, he ended the kiss, but kept her close in his embrace. “I’ll do everything within my power to make you happy, Paige.”

Believing him was easy. “Yeah, I know you will.” She smiled, her heart overflowing with joy. After the pain of the past two years, she felt she’d finally come home to a place where she belonged. It had nothing to do with the state or city in which she lived, and everything to do with the man who loved her so completely. “I was thinking maybe we could find a place in a quiet suburb just outside of Miami. A house with kid-proof furniture, an extra room for when your parents visit, and a big backyard.”

A slow grin spread across his face. “We could do that.”

She drew a slow, lazy pattern with her finger on his good arm. “And I’d like to keep the Wild Rose, but continue to have Pam manage it.”

His eyes took on a wicked gleam. “That wouldn’t be a bad idea, considering you’re going to be busy with all the babies I plan to give you.”

She laughed, the sound light and carefree. “I’m gonna hold you to that, Marchiano, just as soon as you get out of this place.”

“Then I’m going to demand being discharged this afternoon.” He waggled his brows at her. “Didn’t you say something about it being a few months before I could return to work?”

She rolled her eyes. “I guess I’m going to have my hands full with you, huh?”

“Oh yeah,” he murmured. “And then some.”

Paige sighed as they indulged in another lengthy kiss that erased the pain of the past, and gave her the strength and courage to be this man’s wife.

They had faith and love. The rest would come.