Forbidden Highlander

Chapter Eight

With her body sated, Larena began to drift off to sleep. He moved the covers over them so they wouldn’t get chilled and kissed the top of her head.

Fallon mumbled something, but she couldn’t decipher it. She wanted to ask him what he’d said, but the delicious way his fingers skimmed over her arm and back made her think of the pleasure they had just experienced. She wanted months, nay years, with him.

“You are a good man, Fallon MacLeod.” She tilted her head to look at him. She didn’t know of any other Warrior who would go against Deirdre in such a manner.

His brow furrowed and his gaze became distant, as if her words had brought forth a long-buried memory. “Nay, Larena, I’m not. Not yet. My brothers are good men, and I am trying to be.”

“Tell me of your brothers. Before your god was unbound. What was your life like?”

A faint smile touched his lips. “We had a good life. Our parents’ marriage had been arranged, but they had fallen in love. That love was evident in everything they did. My father was stern, but he was clever and well loved by his clan as well as respected by other clans. My mother had the gentlest touch. Her voice could calm anyone, and she had a look that she would give us lads that would make us tell her anything she wanted to know.”

Larena chuckled. She easily envisioned his family and what his life had been. “Your parents sound wonderful.”

“They were the best. I saw the way some of my friend’s parents were, so I knew what my parents had was special.”

“My parents didn’t love each other, not like that. However, they did care for each other.”

“You were luckier than some.”

“Aye.”

“Did you have any siblings?”

She sighed. “It was just me. I always wanted a sister.”

“I couldn’t imagine life without my brothers. We did everything together. Rarely were we apart. I remember when Quinn married. It seemed strange that he wouldna be running around with me and Lucan anymore.”

“What are your brothers like?”

“Strong. Intelligent. Cunning. Honorable. They are the best men I know. Lucan was always the one that grounded Quinn and me. Lucan got our mother’s calming influence, and he used it judiciously. Whereas I had a habit of thinking things through for too long, Quinn was rash and always jumped into things without thinking about the consequences. Yet, for all the times Quinn found himself in trouble, he’s always been clever enough to get out of it.”

“I think I’m going to like your brothers,” she said with a smile. Her eyes drifted closed while Fallon’s fingers lazily skimmed her back once again.

“You will. They will like you as well.”

“And after Deirdre worked her magic and unbound your god. What happened?”

He let out a long breath. “It was hell. While we lived in the mountains we ate whatever we could find when we could find it. We were quickly turning into wild animals, and though I ken I needed to be the leader my father trained me to be, I couldn’t get a handle on the god inside me.”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself, Fallon. In order to help your brothers, you had to help yourself first.”

Fallon grunted. He had helped himself all right. He had tried to block the memories of those years after Deirdre, but he liked talking to Larena. And for some reason, he wanted her to know him — the real him, not the man she thought he was.

Because you’re afraid you’ll fail her as you did Lucan and Quinn.

That was the truth of it. As painful as it was to acknowledge.

“I’m not sure where Lucan found the wine,” Fallon said slowly. “He had gone looking for food, and when he returned to our cave he carried a jug of wine. I started drinking. It didna take much for me to realize the more I drank, the less I heard and felt my god.”

“So you kept drinking,” she said in a small voice.

He paused. Should he tell her? She would think of him differently once she knew, he realized. It could also destroy everything that was building between them, but maybe that was for the best. Destroy all hope now before he lost her later. Besides, she would find out once they reached his castle. It was better if she knew just what kind of man he was now.

Better for both of them.

“Aye,” he answered. “I kept drinking. When Lucan wouldn’t bring me the wine, I went out and found it myself.”

“Oh, Fallon,” she murmured.

He gripped her arm, afraid that she would move away from him, and he couldn’t finish the telling if he had to look in her eyes. “Instead of being the leader I was supposed to be, I let Lucan shoulder the responsibility. I knew he needed me to help him control Quinn, but I drowned in my wine anyway.

“Every morning I woke to see Quinn’s rage evident on the walls of the cave where he had clawed at them. The loss of his wife and child rode him hard. In all this time he’s never really gotten over it. I should have been there for him. For both my brothers.”

“What would you have done?” Larena asked. “People deal with grief differently.”

“I turned away from both of my brothers. Lucan begged me to stop the drinking. He tried to hide the wine, but it only resulted in a vicious fight between us. I thank God we couldna kill each other, because I fear I might have. Just to have my wine.”

Her fingers trembled on his chest and he felt her eyelashes against him as she blinked. He wondered what she was thinking, but he didn’t dare ask. Her impression that he was a good man was now shattered, and though he hated it, it was for the best. He wasn’t the man he should have been, and he didn’t want to fail her as he had his brothers.

“I doona know when Lucan realized he couldn’t stop me. I just know that he always made sure I had wine. When he asked us to return to the castle, I wanted to refuse. Being near the place that now held nothing but death and destruction was not how I wanted to spend my days. But after all Lucan had done for me I couldn’t say no to him, even though I wanted to be anywhere but between those stone walls.”

“He thought it would do you good.”

Fallon shrugged. “I suppose. It did benefit Quinn in a way, and it gave Lucan purpose. He helped Quinn and me as best he could, and there is nothing I can do to ever repay Lucan. For close to three hundred years Iburied my god with wine. For three hundred years I left my two brothers alone. When wyrran would come near the castle, I would fight them, but with my swords only.”

“You didn’t release your god?”

“Nay. I didna dare. Not even when Lucan brought Cara into the castle and Deirdre’s Warriors attacked the first time. Because I didn’t change, the Warrior nearly got away with Cara. I’ll never forget the look of dread in Lucan’s eyes when he saw that a Warrior had Cara.”

“What happened?”

“The three of us have always been good fighters. No one ever bested any of us, and when we fought each other, it always ended in a draw. We were great when we fought alone, but unstoppable when we fought together. I guess that’s why Apodatoo, the god of revenge, chose to be inside all three of us.”

She nodded, her hair tickling his nose. “I wondered about that.”

“We had the Warrior cornered, and we attacked. Lucan got Cara away, and Quinn and I killed the Warrior. But we knew Deirdre would attack again. I wanted to be able to help my brothers, but that would mean letting loose my god.”

“You couldn’t do it, could you?”

Shame washed through him. “I had spent too long ignoring what was inside me, including the powers that came with it. I feared I would hinder Lucan more than help him. I knew I could stand my ground with my swords, so that’s what I planned.”

He thought back to that battle and how Cara had tried to hold her own against the wyrran. Lucan had stayed near her, always near her, but the unthinkable had happened. A Warrior caught her and left before Lucan could follow.

“There were so many wyrran. I’ve never seen so many. You killed one and five more took its place. They swarmed the castle along with four Warriors. What Deirdre didn’t realize is that we had four more Warriors on our side.”

Larena smiled against his skin. “The odds were in your favor.”

“Or so we thought. But somehow a Warrior captured Cara. I was the only one who saw, and I knew I had to be able to help her. If Quinn had nearly gone daft with the loss of his wife and child, I knew Lucan would never recover. Cara is his life. So, I followed the Warrior and Cara, intent on keeping them at the castle until Lucan could find us.

“Most of the castle is still in ruins, and the Warrior went to a tower that backed to the sea. He made Cara hold on to his back as he descended the tower. One wrong move and Cara would plummet to her death.”

Larena leaned up on her elbow and looked at Fallon. “By the saints. Deirdre wanted Cara badly, then?”

“Aye. Cara’s mother was a drough, and Cara carried her mother’s blood.”

“Ah. The Demon’s Kiss. Robena told me all about it.”

“Exactly. That blood, along with Cara’s, would give Deirdre more power. We couldn’t allow that.”

Larena nodded and bit her lip. “How did you stop the Warrior?”

“A few weeks before, I had quit drinking as much as I normally did. By the time of that battle, I was consuming the wine only rarely. I was coherent enough to realize Lucan would lose Cara that night. Cara and Lucan had a love like that of my parents, and after everything I had put Lucan through, I couldn’t let him lose the only thing he had ever fought for. So, I unleashed my god.”

“You saved Cara?”

Fallon shook his head and looked away. “I slowed the Warrior. That allowed enough time for Lucan, Quinn, and the others to arrive. In the end, we did get Cara away.”

Soft fingers caressed his cheek, her nail scratching over his stubble. “You didn’t fail your brothers or Cara, Fallon.”

“After that night, I vowed to never touch the wine again.”

“Is that why there is a bottle in your chamber?”

“Aye, to remind me of what I almost lost. If Cara had died, I would have lost Lucan. Quinn was almost beyond us already, but without Lucan there would be nothing holding us together.”

Her hands never stopped touching him. He fisted one hand to stop it from shaking. Talking about the things that had haunted him for so long felt good, but he was ashamed of the man he had become.

She traced his eyebrow and the curve of his lips. “And now? How are your brothers?”

“The morning after the battle I found a piece of parchment rolled between two stones of our castle wall. I had gone looking for Quinn, but as soon as I saw the parchment, I knew.”

“Deirdre.”

He nodded. “She had trapped Quinn. She wants all three of us, and she knew all she had to do was get one of us and the other two would come to her.”

Larena shifted and sat up, tucking her legs beneath her. “Did you get Quinn free?”

“Not yet.”

“Then what are you doing here trying to get your castle back?”

Fallon finally looked at her. “It’s my contribution while the others learn what they can of the Scroll.”

“The Scroll?”

He didn’t miss how her voice had risen and her body had stilled. She knew something, but what exactly? “Do you know of it?”

“The list of names of each family that bore a Warrior?”

“Aye.”

“I’ve heard of it.” But she looked away as she said it.

She’s lying. Fallon couldn’t blame her. She didn’t know him. Everything depended on the Scroll to release Quinn.

“What do you want the Scroll for?” Larena asked.

“To get Quinn out of Deirdre’s mountain, if it’s real. As far as I know, it could just be part of a tale.”

Larena’s smoky blue eyes swung to his, anger simmering in their depths. “You want to give Deirdre the names to turn other Warriors to save your brother?”

Fallon didn’t tell her the rest of the plan. There was no need, not with how heated she had become. She either wouldn’t believe him or wouldn’t understand. “Wouldn’t you do the same for Malcolm or your father?”

The tension eased out of her. “I would do whatever it took to get them away from such evil.”

“Then you understand why this is so important?”

“I do,” she whispered. “Deirdre could have a trap for you and Lucan though.”

Fallon pulled her back down to his chest and let his fingers run through her long golden locks. “Maybe. Maybe not. I doona plan on ever being her prisoner again. But knowing my youngest brother has been in her mountain for over a month makes my stomach turn.”

“I can only imagine.”

Fallon said no more. Too much had probably already been said. At least Larena was still in his arms. She hadn’t run from him, nor had she looked at him with pity. There hadn’t been accusations. Only understanding in her beautiful eyes.

Hope blossomed in his chest for the first time in three hundred years.