Forbidden Highlander

Chapter Twenty-Seven

It wasn’t until the afternoon that Larena was able to get away to find Fallon. All day she had thought over what she would tell him — and how.

She didn’t want to see the anger and hurt in his eyes, but she could no longer hold back the truth. What she had with Fallon was special, so special that she was willing to break her vow.

It had taken her too long to realize how much she needed Fallon, or maybe she had known all along but was too afraid to admit it. Regardless, she would right the wrong she had done to him and pray he still cared enough about her to hear her out. She would trust him with her greatest secret. It was going to be the hardest thing she had ever done, but she felt it was the right thing to do.

Somehow, she wasn’t surprised to find Fallon on the beach. He stood on an outcropping of rocks gazing out over the water. Waves crashed around him, spraying him with droplets, but he never moved.

He was like a statue as he stood on the boulders — a handsome, dangerous Highlander whom she loved with all her heart.

That love was like someone had lifted her into the clouds and allowed her to soar. Suddenly, there were possibilities she had never dreamed of. All because of Fallon and the love he had given her.

For long moments she watched him, mesmerized by the sight of him. In all her dreams, she had never imagined finding someone as honest and wise and good as Fallon. He was a man worthy of a great woman. Larena wasn’t that woman, but she couldn’t let go of him either.

If he wanted her, she was his.

Of a sudden, he turned his head and looked at her over his shoulder. His green eyes burned into hers.

Larena stepped off the path and walked toward him. She navigated the rocks easily in her breeches and boots, and when she looked up, Fallon was beside her, his long dark locks blowing in the breeze.

He held out his hand, and she didn’t hesitate to take it. His warm, strong fingers closed over her hand as he led her farther against the cliffs, away from the sea.

“I’m surprised to see you here,” he said.

Larena blew out a shaky breath. She had never been so scared in her life as she was at that moment. “I need to talk to you.” She paused, unsure now that she faced him. “Why are you here?”

“I come here to think,” he said as his gaze once more returned to the water. “My father used to bring me and my brothers down here to fish. We would talk of nothing or of important things. Always the sea has given me peace.”

She looked at his profile and swallowed. “I can see that it does. You belong here, Fallon.”

He turned his eyes to her. “And you, Larena? Where do you belong?”

“Nowhere. Everywhere. I have no home.”

“You could have a home. Here. With me.”

Her heart fluttered at his words. Unable to meet his gaze, she lowered her eyes to the ground and released his hand. “I have something to tell you. You won’t like it.”

“Tell me anyway.”

She squeezed her eyes shut and pulled the ring off her finger. “This ring was given to me the day the goddess was unbound in me. It has been in my family since the first Warriors came into being.”

When he said nothing Larena looked up. Fallon’s face was impassive, his gaze fixed on her face.

“I made a vow that night that I would not speak of the ring … or why I wore it for any reason. For over a hundred years I’ve never taken it off. Until now.”

She held out the ring and waited for him to take it. His fingers grasped it and brought it closer to his face to inspect it.

“Do you see the dark spot inside the stone?”

Fallon nodded. “I do.”

Larena’s hands shook as she raised them over the ring. She whispered the words Robena had taught her, words she thought she’d never use. There was a flash of light, and then the Scroll rested in her hands.

She brushed away a tear that fell onto her cheek and held out the Scroll to Fallon. “I should have told you. You trusted me.”

He didn’t take the Scroll as she expected. Instead, he handed her back the ring. “Put the Scroll away, Larena.”

“You don’t want to see it?” It was the one thing he had sought for the release of his brother. She didn’t understand why he wouldn’t want to look at it. “You will need it for Quinn.”

“I’ve known what the ring was, as well as what was in it, since the day I brought you here.”

Larena stumbled backward, his words like a fist to her stomach. Her hands clenched the ring and Scroll. “What?”

“Sonya recognized the ring. She told me.”

Larena returned the Scroll to the stone before she slid her finger between the gold confines of the ring. She wasn’t sure what to say as her mind reeled from his words. He had known. He had known! “I see. You never asked me about it.”

“The decision to tell me was yours. I couldn’t push you into it, just as I can’t make you stay in my bed with the rising of the sun.”

“That’s not fair, Fallon.” She had come to him to release her heart only to learn he had known what she hid from him. He had still opened his arms to her, still marked her as his. He should hate her.

He grunted and raked a hand through his hair. “Life isn’t fair. I’ve lived three hundred years alone, and most of those years are a blur thanks to the wine. It wasna until I met you that I truly lived. Can’t you see how much I want you?”

“I do see it. It’s the reason I came to tell you of the ring. I want to be with you too, Fallon.”

“Nay, you don’t.”

He said the words so softly, that for a moment she wasn’t sure she heard him correctly.

“But I do.”

He shook his head, his eyes so full of sadness that it made her chest ache. “You want me when you need me, but the rest of the time I’m not worthy. I doona blame you. I’m not worthy. Not yet anyway. You’ve been alone for so long that you’ve gotten used to keeping everyone at a distance, and I’m … well, I’m a drunk who still fights the call of the wine. And I’ve got a lot to make up for.”

His words stung more than she cared to admit. “You think you know me, but you don’t.”

“I know you better than you realize. You say you want me, but how much, Larena? How much do you desire to be with me? Will you be my wife so that we can spend the rest of our lives together? Or is it just enough that I share my bed with you each night?”

A lifetime with Fallon. The thought brought a thrill racing through her veins, but once the delight ebbed, she couldn’t stop the worry of one day being alone again.

“Why can’t what we have right now be enough?”

He took a step toward her, his face lined with grief. “Because I want more. I need more.”

All her dreams of sharing time with Fallon crumbled around her. “I’m sorry. I can’t give you what you need.” She started back toward the castle, craving some time alone to mourn the love she had found … and lost.

“You can,” he shouted after her. “You’re just too scared!”

She spun around to face him. “You know nothing.”

“Oh, but I do, Larena Monroe.” He stalked toward her. His lips were pressed in a flat line and his jaw was clenched. Anger replaced his grief and gave his face a hard edge. “You’re scared of being alone, afraid that there might be someone you can count on. You’re terrified of putting your heart and soul in my hands for fear that I will leave you.”

Her knees threatened to buckle. Each word was like a slap in the face, worse because they were true. She turned and ran away, ignoring Fallon as he shouted her name. Larena didn’t stop until she found herself in a tower. She huddled on the floor in the small chamber and let the tears come.

No longer did she hold back the misery and loneliness she had ignored for too long. Fallon had ripped open her despair and it stared at her, demanding she acknowledge it.

But she couldn’t.

Fallon cursed himself for ten kinds of a fool. He shouldn’t have said those things to Larena. He knew he would have to handle her with care, but his temper had got the best of him when she said she couldn’t give him what he needed.

He watched her race away from him, his heart breaking into a million pieces. He knew then he had lost her for good. The pain that ripped through him was worse than when he had lost his family and his clan.

Fallon fell to his knees from the weight of it. He threw back his head and spread his arms wide as he bellowed his anguish.

But even that didn’t help.

He dropped his chin to his chest and covered his face with his hands. Everything he tried to fix, he only made worse. Look what had happened to Quinn. And now Larena.

He wasn’t fit to lead himself, much less an army of Warriors if he couldn’t win Larena. The rage that came over him was swift. His skin tingled with the change, but he didn’t try to stop it. There was no stopping it now.

Mayhap not ever.

“Fallon?”

He jumped to his knees when he heard Lucan speak his name, but he didn’t face his brother. “Leave me.”

“I doona think so.” Lucan continued to approach him. “What happened? I saw Larena run into the castle.”

Fallon threw back his head and laughed, the sound hollow even to his own ears. “I’ve lost her, if she was ever mine to have.”

“Tell me,” Lucan urged, as he came to stand in front of him.

Fallon shook his head. “I need to be alone right now.”

“We need you.”

“Don’t,” Fallon bellowed. He turned his back to his brother. “You doona need me. You can lead these men, Lucan.”

“Nay, Fallon. Please don’t leave. I’ve already lost Quinn. I cannot lose you as well.”

Fallon looked at the cliffs before him. He had failed Lucan too many times before, he wouldn’t do it again even though every fiber of his being demanded he disappear and never return. “I’ll be back, Lucan.”

He bounded up the cliffs, not wanting to hear what his brother said in response. His heart hammered with exertion as he leaped from cliff to cliff and then raced over the rolling hills. He didn’t rest or stop until his feet could no longer carry him.

Fallon fell to the ground and rolled onto his back, his rapid breaths burning his lungs. He used his arm to shield his eyes from the setting sun and gazed into the vivid blue of the sky.

He wished he knew where he had gone wrong with Larena. He wanted her back in his arms again, wanted to hold her sweet body and smell her delicious scent of lilies.

But he had lost her.

He ground the heels of his hands into his eyes, trying to erase the image of Larena’s beautiful face from his mind. But Fallon knew that not even death could expunge her.

She was a part of him, just as his god was. Now and forever.