Giving In

TWENTY-NINE

KYLIE patiently sat and listened to the dozen voice mail messages from Chessy, Joss and Dash. She sipped the strong coffee as she sat in the small café in the neighborhood she was house hunting in.

Amazing how much more productive she was when she wasn’t shitfaced drunk from all the wine she’d consumed this week.

The lightbulb had gone on when she discovered she was completely out of wine. Then she’d surveyed the bottles littering her kitchen in disgust. Enough of that already. A week was long enough to wallow in her misery. It was time to get on with the rest of her life.

She cringed when she listened to Dash’s message. Jensen had cleared out his office and would be working out of another. Dash wanted Kylie to get her ass back to work and to call Joss before she lost her mind.

Guilt crept over her. She’d avoided her friends—everyone—for the entire week. She’d listened to the incessant ringing of the doorbell and the pounding. She bet the pounding came from Chessy. She was rather persistent when she put her mind to something. But the alcohol haze had made it impossible for her to do anything more than lie sprawled on her bed staring up at the ceiling, praying Joss and Chessy would give up and go away.

Though her house had gone on the market Monday, it wouldn’t start showing until the following Monday. That—and the realization of how much wine she’d consumed—had given her sufficient motivation to sober up and get her ass out of the house.

She listened to the rest of the messages but winced when she heard Joss begging her to call. There were tears in Joss’s voice. Dash would kill Kylie for upsetting Joss this way. And she couldn’t blame him.

She had to face them at some point. She couldn’t hide forever. Jensen wasn’t an integral component of her circle of friends. He’d mainly become a part through Kylie. So it wasn’t as if she had to worry about running across Jensen when she visited with her friends. She may have lost him, but she’d be damned if she lost her friends too.

Her head ached vilely, the result of all the wine she’d drunk. She could barely even remember the last five days.

What she wanted to do was run by the store, stock up on more wine and then retreat to her house and drink. A lot.

But what she needed to do was text Joss and Chessy and get it over with.

Sighing, she typed in a quick message to both.

I’m ready to come over and spill. Any chance wine could be involved?

She hit Send and set her phone back on the small table. She knew she looked like hell. She’d received more than one cursory stare by the other customers in the café. How was she supposed to look when she’d been dumped by the man she loved and then spent the rest of the week in an alcoholic stupor?

Her phone chimed and she hesitantly reached for it.

Get your ass to my house stat. And yes, wine will be here. Can you come now?

That was from Joss. Before she could respond, Chessy chimed in.

I’m coming right over! Give me fifteen at the most. Joss, you got enough wine or you want me to bring some?

Kylie smiled, some of the weight shifting from her heart.

I’ve got it covered. Just get over here!

She punched in her response and hit Send.

I’m on my way. Twenty minutes, depending on traffic.

She grabbed her keys, downed the last of her coffee and then headed for the door.

She was terrified. She wouldn’t lie to herself about that. The idea of pouring out all of her despair to anyone made her stomach tighten. But she had to remember her promise to herself about being more open with her friends. Her best friends. They weren’t just anyone. They were special.

She drove in tense silence. She’d nearly put her fist through the dash when one of those sappy breakup songs started playing on her satellite radio. Silence, however unbearable, was still preferable to listening to her problems being sung in real time.

Twenty-two interminable minutes later, Kylie pulled into Joss’s driveway and sat there a long moment, mustering the courage to go in. If she didn’t get out soon, Chessy and Joss would both come out and drag her in by her hair.

She made herself get out of the car and walk to the door. She was almost there when the door flew open. Dash. Double ugh. Facing the girls was bad enough. Facing her boss too? Why hadn’t she made it clear to Joss that this was a girls-only event?

Dash’s stare was fixed on her and as she drew closer, he paled.

“He said he hurt you but I thought he meant emotionally,” Dash said through clenched teeth. “What the fuck did he do to you, Kylie? I’ll kill him for this.”

Her hand fluttered upward in an effort to hide the bruising on her throat. But it was too late. Dash had seen the marks on her pale skin.

Joss flew around Dash and plowed into Kylie just as she reached the top step. She wrapped her arms around Kylie and hugged her for dear life.

Kylie glanced up at Dash over Joss’s shoulder to see him smoldering with rage.

“It’s not what you think,” she said in a low voice.

“And just what is it then?” Dash asked in an icy tone.

“Leave her alone, Dash. She’ll tell me and Chessy and then if anyone needs their ass kicked we’ll sic you on it,” Joss said.

Kylie nearly wilted in relief. God she loved her friends. Why had she avoided them all week? She could have been here days ago, wrapped in the love and support of her best friends instead of being at home drunk off her ass, alone and miserable.

Joss took Kylie by the hand and dragged her past Dash and into the house. Dash didn’t look pleased, but he bit back any response and allowed Joss to have her way. Thank God.

“Stay out of our hair for a while, darling,” Joss called back to Dash. “This is girls’ night and the girls’ code is ‘what happens in the circle stays in the circle’ and ‘no men allowed.’”

Dash rolled his eyes. “I’ll be in the bedroom watching TV. But I expect a report later. I’m not letting it drop, Joss. If that son of a bitch put his hands on her, I’ll take him apart.”

“I love it when he gets all alpha,” Joss whispered to Kylie. “It makes me want to go jump his bones right now.”

Kylie groaned. “Seriously, Joss? I just got dumped and you’re taunting me with Dash’s alpha maleness. So not fair.”

Joss’s face wrinkled in sympathy. “He ended it?”

“Hey, no talking until y’all get in here so I can hear,” Chessy complained as the two women entered the living room.

Chessy rose from her perch on the couch and ran over, throwing her arms around Kylie.

“Don’t you ever scare us like that again,” Chessy said. “Joss and I were so worried, Kylie. What happened, sweetie? You look terrible!”

Then she backed away, her gaze drifting over Kylie’s face and neck. Joss and Chessy both gasped.

“Did he do that to you?” Chessy choked out.

Kylie sighed. “It’s a really long story, guys. Can we sit down and open a bottle—or three—of wine? I’m going to need it for this.”

“Coming right up,” Joss said.

“I need at least three glasses in me before the bloodletting starts,” Kylie muttered.

“Then drink up and make it fast because we want every single detail,” Chessy warned.

Joss returned a moment later, a bottle of wine in both hands. Glasses were already sitting on the coffee table. Joss poured, filling all the glasses, and then she handed one to Kylie.

She drank thirstily, draining the glass in seconds. Joss arched one eyebrow but quickly poured Kylie another.

“It’s times like these that I wonder if we shouldn’t have something a little stronger,” Kylie said.

“Well, if we’re going to get shitfaced, I suggest we raid Dash’s liquor cabinet,” Chessy said.

Joss frowned. “If we are getting shitfaced, then neither of you is leaving tonight. I’ll give your keys to Dash and you’ll have to go through him before you leave.”

Kylie and Chessy groaned, but gave up their keys. Joss left to give them to Dash and then returned to the living room.

“Okay, so what shall it be?” Joss asked dramatically as she opened the liquor cabinet.

“What’s the old saying?” Chessy mused. “Beer before liquor, never sicker? Liquor before beer, never fear? Does that apply to wine as well?”

Kylie frowned. She was already fuzzy from the two hastily downed glasses of wine she’d had. “Would wine be substituted for beer or liquor? And does that mean I’m going to puke my brains out because I drank liquor after wine?”

“Honey, we’ll all be puking our brains out later,” Chessy said dryly. “Come on, Joss. Just pick something so we can move on.”

Joss shrugged and then reached in, pulling out two bottles of liquor. She plunked them down on the coffee table and then retrieved shot glasses from the cabinet.

“I vote we pour them all now,” Chessy said. “If we’re pouring after imbibing a lot, we’re going to totally make a mess in Joss’s living room.”

“Good idea,” Kylie said. “Pour them up, Joss.”

Joss carefully lined up a dozen shot glasses and then began filling them all.

Chessy picked two up and handed one to Kylie. She handed the other to Joss and then retrieved another from the coffee table for herself. She held up her glass to Joss and Kylie.

“Here’s to men are assholes,” Chessy said.

“I’ll drink to that,” Kylie said.

“I’ll drink as long as we exclude Dash from that statement,” Joss said.

Chessy rolled her eyes. “He’s been an asshole before. And he’ll be one again before it’s all over with. Just drink with us, damn it.”

Joss laughed and then they clinked their glasses together.

Then they tossed the alcohol back.

Kylie’s eyes watered, her nose burned, and she nearly choked as fire ripped down her throat and into her belly.

“God, that’s horrible!” Kylie sputtered.

“You don’t drink it because it’s good,” Chessy said. “You drink it for what it does. Give her another, Joss. We have to loosen up her tongue.”

Joss thrust another glass into Kylie’s hand and then Joss and Chessy directed her to drink it.

The second went down a little better than the first. Thank God.

She leaned back against the couch so her stomach would settle and to allow the alcohol to take control.

“I’ve spent the week shitfaced,” Kylie admitted.

“Oh honey, I wish you would have answered your damn door,” Chessy said. “You should never have to drink alone. I’m more than willing to be your drinking buddy.”

“Couldn’t,” Kylie said lamely. “I had to work some things out.”

“Like quitting your job and putting your house up for sale?” Joss demanded.

Kylie winced. “Yeah, those things.”

“What on earth happened, Kylie? And how the hell did you get those bruises?” Chessy asked.

Kylie closed her eyes, trying to hold the tears at bay. They burned her eyelids. She thought she’d cried herself out and that she didn’t have any more tears to shed. Apparently she was wrong.

Joss and Chessy descended, each taking a position on either side of her. Chessy wrapped one arm around her while Joss gently pushed Kylie’s hair from her eyes.

“Talk to us, Kylie. We’ve been so worried,” Joss said in her sweet, loving voice.

“He didn’t hurt me on purpose,” Kylie said. “He’d never do that. I know it but he doesn’t. Or at least he doesn’t now.”

“You’re not making sense, hon. Slow down and start from the beginning,” Chessy prompted.

Kylie sighed but did as her friends asked. She spilled the entire sorry tale starting from when she confided her past to Jensen to the present. She didn’t spare herself any in the telling. She told them she’d spent the week in the wine bottle crying her eyes out.

“Oh wow,” Joss breathed. “That’s a tough one for sure, sweetie. Poor Jensen. I can’t imagine how he felt when he woke up to see his hands wrapped around your neck. Dash would die if he ever did something like that.”

“That’s just it,” Kylie said. “Jensen would never do anything to hurt me. It was a dream—a nightmare. He didn’t know what he was doing. But he just shut me out. He couldn’t dump me fast enough. How the hell do you convince someone they’re wrong if they won’t stick around to talk to you about it?”

They were all silent for a moment and Chessy reached for the bottle, pouring them each another shot.

Kylie gratefully downed it, hoping for the numbness to settle in soon. A balm to the ache in her soul. At least for a little while she’d feel nothing but the warm buzz of alcohol. And to think she’d always loathed the idea of getting drunk. This week had taught her a lot about her old ideas and ways.

She handed her glass to Chessy and motioned for another.

By the time the fourth shot had been consumed, Kylie was definitely feeling the effects. So why the hell was she still crying and sniffling like an idiot?

She flopped back onto the couch again and stared up at the ceiling, waiting for it to spin.

“I should have known,” Kylie said, despair creeping into her voice once more. “I’ve never been an optimist. I was conditioned at a very young age to expect the worst. It’s certainly all I ever received. And yet I didn’t see this coming and I should have. I was so sure that Jensen was the one. I was so caught up in the joy of overcoming so much and being able to be in a relationship that I never even gave thought to the idea that we wouldn’t be together. And that was so stupid of me. Maybe later I’ll be able to blame it on being in love for the first time in my life. No wonder I never dated. Who the hell would want to go through this every time you split up with someone?”

“Amen,” Chessy muttered.

Kylie turned her head so she could see her friend, even though at the moment there were two Chessys.

“How are you and Tate?”

Chessy made a face. “Fine. Not fine. I don’t know.”

“I feel guilt for being so damn happy,” Joss said mournfully.

Kylie reached over to squeeze her hand. “Don’t. You deserve to be happy. You’ve certainly had your share of hell.”

They drank another shot. And then another for the hell of it. Somewhere in the midst of finishing the first bottle, they ended up on the floor in front of the fireplace.

“Do you know your ceiling is spinning?” Chessy asked Joss.

“That’s not the ceiling. It’s your brain,” Kylie said sagely.

“What are we going to do about Jensen?” Joss said, pushing the topic back to Kylie’s situation.

Anger surged through Kylie. It was the first time she’d felt pissed. Really pissed. She’d experienced a lot of varying emotions the last week. Mostly sadness, grief, but not true anger.

It hit her like a freight train, clouding her mind until all she saw was red.

How dare he just give up on them? He was willing to put up with her issues and give her as long as it took to get over them. To work through them. Did he expect her to back off the minute his issues overrode hers?

“I’m pissed,” Kylie said, though it sounded like it came from someone else across the room.

“You should be,” Chessy said.

“I agree,” Joss said solemnly.

“Wait. What are we pissed about?” Chessy asked in a puzzled tone.

“Jensen,” Kylie supplied.

“Oh, that’s right,” Chessy said.

“What gives him the right to just give up on us like that?” Kylie demanded.

“That’s the spirit,” Joss encouraged.

“He was all willing to tie himself to the bed for me. To give me as long as it took to work past my issues. Does he expect me to tuck tail and run the minute his issues rear their head?”

Kylie sat straight up and promptly regretted it. The room spun crazily around her and she had to close her eyes so she wouldn’t throw up.

“That’s it!” she exclaimed when she got her bearings. “Oh my God. I’m such an idiot.”

“What’s it?” Joss and Chessy chorused.

Kylie smacked herself on the forehead and then sagged backward with a groan.

“Maybe you should be careful there,” Chessy said. “You may knock yourself out.”

“Care to share your epiphany with us?” Joss prompted.

“I’m going to tie his ass to the bed,” Kylie announced. “Wait. First I’m going to make him make love to me. Without the damn rope. But after? When we’re ready to go to sleep? That’s when I’ll tie him up,” she said triumphantly.

“I’m confused,” Chessy said. “But that could just be the alcohol talking. You’re going to have to explain, hon. I’m a little stupid when I’m drinking.”

Joss and Kylie both chuckled.

“He made this big deal out of me tying him to the bed when we make love. So I’d know he couldn’t hurt me. So I’d know I was safe. Okay, so the reason he dumped me, or at least the reason he gave me for dumping me, was because he was afraid of hurting me. So if I tie him to the bed while he’s asleep and he has a nightmare, voila! He can’t touch me,” she said smugly.

“You’re a fucking genius,” Chessy said in admiration.

“I’ll drink to that,” Joss said.

“Uh, maybe we should let up on the alcohol,” Chessy advised.

“Yeah, I have to sober up now,” Kylie said.

“How come?” Joss asked.

Kylie pushed herself upward again, holding herself up with one hand so she didn’t keel over onto Chessy.

“Because when I sober up, I’m going over to his house. If he thinks he can just dump me for my own good and make me miserable in the process, he’s got another think coming!”

“Uh, ladies? Not to interrupt what has to be scintillating conversation, but do you realize what time it is, that you’ve been drinking for the last several hours and that you’re all lying on the floor?”

Heads turned in the direction of Dash’s voice. Joss sent him a dazzling smile.

“Hello, darling,” she said in a dreamy voice. “Have you come to take me to bed?”

Dash chuckled. “Since I don’t imagine any of you are going to make it to bed unless I carry you, I think it’s safe to say I have come to take you to bed.”

Kylie scowled. “I can’t go to bed now. I have a seduction to plan. Hey, Dash. You’re a guy.”

“I hope to fuck so,” Dash said in amusement.

She pointed a finger at him. “So if a woman throws herself at you—naked—you’re not going to say no, right?”

Dash chuckled. “I think that depends on which woman throws herself at me.”

“Damn straight,” Joss said. “I’ll kick someone’s ass if they ever throw themselves at you!”

“Calm down, honey. It’s not going to happen. Now, are you girls done for the night? Kylie, perhaps you should get some rest so, uh, your seduction plan doesn’t go awry. You may also want to revisit the issue when you’re sober. You may decide that was the alcohol talking.”

Kylie made a face. “What a downer you are, Dash.”

“Sorry, sweetheart.”

Joss sighed. “Are y’all ready for bed? Chessy, you and Kylie can share the guest bed. It’s a queen so y’all will have plenty of room.”

Chessy said glumly, “I spend so many nights alone these days that having someone in bed with me will be a novelty. Even if it is just Kylie.”

Dash leaned over Kylie and slid his arms underneath her body. He hoisted her up, and her stomach lurched. Oh God, please, please don’t let her puke all over Dash. There was only so much humiliation she could take.

“I’ll get Kylie settled in. I think she’s a little more shitfaced than the two of you are,” he said to Joss. “I’ll be back to get the rest of you once I get Kylie to bed.”

Joss waved her hand in the air like she didn’t have a care in the world. And why would she? She had a wonderful husband who loved her to pieces.

If she didn’t love Joss so much it would be so easy to hate her.

Dash walked into the guest bedroom and deposited Kylie onto the bed. Then he went into the bathroom and returned with a plastic basin that he set on the floor beside the bed.

“If you need to puke, just lean over the bed,” he said gently. “You might have trouble getting to the bathroom in time.”

“You’re the best, Dash,” she murmured. “Joss is such a lucky bitch.”

Dash’s chuckle was the last thing she heard before it was lights-out and she was out cold.