Golden Trail

Chapter Sixteen Real

Stew handed Layne the envelope and, just by the feel of it, Layne knew it wasn’t light.

Even so, he counted every bill and took his time doing it. Ten thousand dollars. He’d come up with the cash in less than an hour, which was the amount of time Layne had given him to do it.

Their earlier conversation hadn’t gone well, mostly because Stew was an asshole. But even if he was an asshole, apparently Stew wasn’t as stupid as Layne thought because after he treated Layne to a fuckload of bullshit bluster, he agreed to meet Layne in the alley behind J&J’s Saloon which also happened to be behind his office.

Layne tucked the flap in the envelope, shoved it into the inside pocket of his leather jacket and looked at Stew.

“Good,” Layne muttered. “Now get to Gabby’s and get your shit. You’re out before she gets home from work.”

Stew glared at him then grunted, “No skin off my nose. Bitch is a pain in the ass.”

“Excellent, then I won’t have to worry about you cryin’ while eatin’ chocolate and watchin’ soap operas.”

Stew’s eyes narrowed right before he got stupid and he hissed, “Fuck you, motherfucker.” Then he got more stupid, leaned in and threatened, “You’ll regret this.”

Layne moved instantly and he moved fast. He pulled up a forearm and caught Stew under the chin with it, knocking his teeth together and jerking his head back. Then Layne went for Stew’s exposed throat, wrapping his fingers around it tight, he shoved Stew hard into his Suburban, pushed him back and bent over him to get in his face.

“You even fuckin’ breathe in my direction, Jasper’s, Tripp’s, Gabby’s or Rocky’s, I swear to God, you’re dead. Swear to God.” He squeezed tighter and Stew’s feet scuffled against the pavement as his hand pushed against Layne’s wrist and he forced his arm between their bodies and shoved up but Layne didn’t move, using only his hand on Stew’s throat to bend him further backward until a gurgling noise came from Stew’s throat. “You think to get smart, your ass is in jail and those photos are all over the internet so, when you get out, everyone in the ‘burg will know why you’re such an asshole considering you like it so much.”

“Fuck you!” Stew hissed, spittle coming out of his mouth, his face turning purple.

“I need to know you get me,” Layne pushed, squeezing harder.

“Get off me!” Stew choked.

“I need,” Layne squeezed harder, laying all his weight into his hand, “to know you get me.”

“I get you, get the fuck off!” Stew wheezed.

Layne pushed off, took a step back and Stew righted himself from the car, bending over, he put his hand to his throat.

“Gabby’s,” Layne ordered and turned to his SUV, swung in and still choking Stew had to jump out of the way as Layne drove out of the alley.

Then he headed to Gabrielle’s grocery store to do something that he was looking forward to only slightly more than dealing with Stew Baranski. But she’d find out eventually and Rocky was right, Layne had to suck it up and he might as well take the shit she was going to lay on him now rather than enduring a surprise attack when she found out.

He found her at the customer service desk and her eyes came to him when he was five feet away.

“You’re takin’ a break,” he informed her when he made it to the desk. He ignored the customers in line and finished, “Now.”

Gabby stared at him a second, turned to someone with her and said, “Give me a minute.” Then she moved from behind the desk and Layne followed as she led him to the back, through a door, down a hall and into the break room.

Two employees were sitting there. One a zit-faced kid who really needed an appointment with a dermatologist, the other a blonde who really needed to lay off the eyeliner or learn how to put it on better.

“We need privacy,” Layne announced when he and Gabby walked in, he watched them both start then freeze so he ordered, “Now.”

They moved then and shot to the door.

The minute it closed behind them, Gabrielle turned to him. “Jas –?” she started.

Layne shook his head and cut her off. “Boys are good.” He reached into his pocket, pulled out the envelope and handed it to her.

She took it, bent her head to it, opened the flap and, even with her head bent, Layne saw her mouth drop open.

Then her head shot back, her eyes bright and hopeful. “What?”

Fuck. She thought he was bailing her out.

“That’s not from me,” Layne told her, the hope died and she looked confused and wary. “It’s from Stew. He’s gone. You go home tonight, he’s left a pair of tighty whiteys, I wanna know.”

Her face started getting red before she snapped, “What’d you do?”

He gave it to her straight and didn’t waste time.

“Stew’s an enforcer for a guy called Carlito. He doesn’t owe him shit, he works for him and gets paid big. He’s been playin’ you, Gabby, but he’s not playin’ you anymore.”

Her torso jerked back.

“That’s… that’s impossible,” she stated but he knew by the look on her face, her anger dying, understanding dawning, she knew that was a lie.

“Well then, I watched his twin beat the shit outta some guy last night while I was takin’ pictures. Then I watched him celebrate with a chick he keeps at the trailer park on the southwest of town.”

Layne watched the blood drain out of her face and she was a bitch and he didn’t much like her but she was the mother of his sons and he fucking hated doing this to her. But he had to; she’d given him no choice.

“He’s bad news, Gabby,” Layne went on. “We don’t need our boys around that and I don’t need my boys’ Mom around that. You deserve better. So I made it so he did right by you with that money,” he tipped his head to the envelope, “and now he’s gone.”

She stared at him and then her hand clenched the envelope. “Tanner –”

He shook his head and interrupted her again. “We don’t need to process this. It’s done. The boys stay with me this week and you go stay with Brandy. The whole week. You put two K of that in your account and you use that, your pay and what I pay you to take care of your bills. When you buy groceries or anything else that takes cash, you use that money. You put no more than two K of that in your account, Gabrielle. The rest of that money stays under the radar. Are you clear on all that?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

“I’ll keep an eye on your house and get a quiet word out to the boys to do the same. Jas will be checkin’ in with you regular. You got problems, you say, ‘I’m fine, honey, everything is just fine,’ and he’ll know it’s not and he’ll know to get in touch with me.” At these words, her face went completely white but Layne kept on. “You wanna say you’re okay, you use other words, not those. Can you remember that?”

“Are the boys in danger?” she asked.

“No,” Layne answered.

“Am I?”

“No,” Layne repeated. “That doesn’t mean we aren’t gonna move forward smart.”

Some color came back into her face and her eyes started to get squinty. “Did you bring Jasper into this?”

“Yeah, I did. He’s seventeen, he’s fuckin’ smart and he doesn’t like his Mom gettin’ walked on. I didn’t take care of this shit, there would come a time when he’d feel the need to step in. I stepped in before that time came. And if you think Tripp doesn’t know somethin’s goin’ down, you’re wrong. He’s as smart as Jasper and just as worried about his Mom.”

She pressed her lips together and couldn’t hold his eyes so hers went to the floor.

“I need to know you’re clear on all this before I go, Gabrielle,” Layne prompted and she forced her eyes to his before she nodded.

“Good, you go home tonight, check things out then get your ass to Brandy’s. And find time next week to change the locks,” Layne finished and turned to leave.

“Tanner,” she called, Layne turned back, bracing because he knew she was going to hit him with it and he froze when he saw standing across the room a Gabrielle Weil Layne had never seen before in his life.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered and, fuck him, he knew she was about to cry.

Shit.

He’d never seen her cry except tears of being extremely pissed off.

He turned to face her but didn’t walk back into the room.

“You fucked up,” he said gently. “I fucked up so I know it doesn’t feel good when you figure out you did it. But it’s done, it’s over. Now you move on.”

She blinked her eyes rapidly and he knew she was struggling against the tears.

Fucking shit.

“Gabby,” he called and she blinked again but kept her eyes open and nodded. “We didn’t have a lot of good times but when you forgot to be pissed off at me and the world, you could be funny. You’ve never been sweet, but, fuck, woman, you could be funny. When you took care of yourself, there was a lot to look at and all of it was good.” He watched her mouth slowly open and she stared at him. “You look around you and see you got a good job, a nice home and two great boys, all of which you worked hard at and created all on your own, you might realize that you’ve got a better than average life and you built that all by yourself. You learn to be funny again and spend time takin’ care of yourself rather than takin’ care of some asshole who doesn’t deserve your time, you don’t wanna be lonely, you won’t be and you’ll be spendin’ your time with someone who’s worth havin’ it.” She kept staring at him and Layne finished, “And, Gabby, when you forget to be pissed off and act like a bitch, your time is worth havin’.”

With that, he left her staring after him and walked out of the room, through the store and to his truck. He folded in and drove to her house, idling in the alley out back and waiting until he saw Stew come out with a box full of shit.

Then he pulled out his cell and called Jasper.

He watched Stew walk back into the house and got Jasper’s voicemail. “Minute you get this, Bud, you call me. It’s all good but we gotta brief.”

He flipped his phone shut, sat in his truck and waited until he saw Stew come out with an overstuffed, beat up workout bag that had to be his. Gabby might not be rolling in it or working out herself but she kitted the boys out better than that. Then, when Stew re-entered the back gate, Layne put the Suburban into first and drove down the alley. Then he drove home.

He rolled down his street to see both the Mercedes and the Calais at the curb in front of his house along with his mother’s rental car.

He was sitting waiting for the garage door to slide up when he saw the door to the utility room open and Rocky stood there. Seeing her, he had added evidence she’d been to her apartment because now she was wearing jeans and a long-sleeved, green tee that had a high neckline that was wide and showed some skin at her shoulders. She also had her hair in what he knew was a clip because a spray of it could be seen at the top of her head. He also knew she was seriously pissed about something. He knew this because her arms were crossed on her chest, her hip was hitched, one foot was out, she was tapping her toe and she was wearing a face like thunder.

Fuck.

He pulled in and she watched him until he switched off the ignition. She was standing at his door when he cleared the car.

He’d barely slammed it when she announced, “I’m going to kill Adrian Cosgrove.”

Oh shit. That was not what he was expecting to hear.

It was worse.

“Why?” Layne asked.

“You’ll see,” she shot back, turned on her bare foot and stomped into the house.

Layne followed, looking at his boots and contemplating vacation spots.

He hit the kitchen, took one look at Paige Cosgrove sitting at a stool at his island, her left eye blue and nearly swollen shut, her lower left lip split and he froze, keeping his body still in an effort to control the burning rage that suddenly engulfed his system.

Then he barked, “Where’s your boy?”

She started and he knew he should have gentled his tone but he didn’t have it in him.

Paige pulled in a breath and whispered, “Swimming with the team.”

“Cosgrove?” Layne asked.

She shook her head. “Don’t know, he… after…” Her eyes went to the island and she whispered, “He took off.”

“Seth look like you?” Layne demanded to know.

“No, I… he’d already planned to spend the night at his friend Jamie’s.”

Layne yanked his phone out of back pocket, tossed it to Dev who was standing beside the island next to Vera, who was sitting close to Paige, and he ordered, “Call Jas. Tell him to get his, Tripp’s and Seth’s asses home immediately.” Then he looked at Rocky and growled, “Upstairs.”

He prowled by her and felt her hot on his heels as he took the stairs two at a time and she ran up them. He went directly to his room but stopped at the door, his hand on it, and when she cleared it, he slammed it behind her.

She turned to him, he saw her anger was gone, at that point she was all about controlling his and he knew this because she said immediately, “Breathe, Layne.”

“I’m breathin’,” he bit out.

“No, sweetheart, you’re spitting fire.” She walked up to him and placed her hands on his chest. “Breathe, baby.”

Layne stared down at her and sucked in breath. The fire inside died down but didn’t go out.

“I see I should have warned you,” she whispered.

Shit yeah, she should have warned him.

“Talk to me,” he ordered.

“This isn’t the first time, for her or, last night, for Seth.”

“No shit?” Layne asked with biting sarcasm, he knew what kind of man Cosgrove was, and he watched Rocky flinch and take a step back, her hands falling away from his chest. “Not pissed at you, Rocky,” he told her.

“I know,” she said quietly and watched him closely.

“What’s she doin’ here?”

“Her family’s from Valparaiso. She’s got friends but she doesn’t want…” Rocky trailed off and then said, “I think she thinks you’ll make her and Seth safe.”

“She give you a reason she didn’t go to the cops?” he asked.

“She did, she called last night after he left. I called Merry after she told her story. Merry says they’re looking for him but, until they find him, there’s nothing they can do.”

That was what sucked about being a cop and it was precisely the reason Layne wasn’t one anymore. He could play by the rules but he wasn’t a big fan of doing it with his hands tied. There were too many times when good people were in trouble, you wanted to help and you could but most the time you couldn’t do all you needed to do because you didn’t have the resources.

“Layne,” Rocky called and he focused on her. “She said it was worse last night than normal.”

“Yeah,” Layne returned. “You know how you know that, baby?” he asked and she shook her head, he knew by the expression on her face she didn’t want to know but she was going to listen all the same. “Man like Cosgrove doesn’t make his marks seen. He’s got a place in this community and that’d fuck with his cred, people knowin’ he’s a fuckin’ asshole rather than just suspecting it and talkin’ behind his back. So he does it invisible. Last night, he lost control, made it visible. That’s how you know it was worse.”

“Okay, Layne,” she whispered then her head tipped to the side. “Are you going to help?”

“What do you think?” he asked and he saw her mouth twitch.

“I think you’re going to help,” she answered.

“Fuck,” he muttered, turned, opened the door, walked out of the room and down the stairs, Rocky again right at his heels.

“Phone,” he growled at Devin who threw his cell to him immediately, Layne caught it and flipped it open as he avoided the eyes on him.

“Your boy’s on his way home,” Devin informed him.

Layne nodded as he scrolled down, found the number and hit go.

He put a hand on his hip, his eyes to his boots, his phone to his ear and he listened to it ring.

Cal answered on the third ring. “Yo.”

“You sell your house yet?” Layne asked.

“Nope,” Cal answered, his voice no longer casual but alert.

“It furnished?” Layne went on.

“Nope,” Cal repeated.

“Utilities on? Security system installed?”

“Yeah and yeah. What’s up?”

“Paige and Seth Cosgrove need a place to stay.”

Silence then a mumbled, “Fuck.”

“Right,” Layne confirmed what he knew Cal knew. “Feel like new neighbors?” he asked.

“Send ‘em over,” Cal replied immediately.

“Need you to keep an eye –” Layne started.

“Done,” Cal stated before Layne could finish.

“Brief Colt,” Layne told him.

“Done,” Cal repeated.

“Activate Vi, Feb and their posse. They need beds and shit until they get sorted.”

“Got it.”

“Cosgrove’s got a warrant out on him,” Layne explained.

“She went to the cops?” Cal asked.

“Yep.”

“Good,” Cal muttered then asked, “her or her boy?”

“Her, last night, both otherwise.”

“Fuckin’ dick,” Cal clipped.

“I’ll wait until Seth gets here and then I’m bringing them over myself.”

“We’re home,” Cal returned.

“Thanks, man,” Layne murmured.

“You didn’t provoke this, Tanner, you know that, yeah? Dick just has it in him.” Cal stated.

“I know it,” Layne replied.

“Get them over here,” Cal finished.

“Later,” Layne said.

“Later.”

Layne flipped his phone closed and looked into the room to see he was right, all eyes were on him.

He looked at Paige. “Until we know you and Seth are safe, you’re movin’ in next door to Joe Callahan.”

She nodded.

“Cal and Colt’ll keep an eye on you,” Layne continued.

She kept nodding.

“You see Cosgrove, you call the cops first, me second,” Layne went on.

Paige was still nodding.

“Has Doc seen you?” he asked.

“Paramedics checked me out last night.”

This time, Layne nodded before he kept going. “Seth see you like that?”

Paige looked away.

“Eyes on me, Paige,” Layne ordered gently and her eyes slowly moved back to him. “This time, has he seen you this time?”

“No,” she whispered.

“I’ll talk to him before he walks in here,” Layne told her.

Tears filled her eyes and started falling down her cheeks before she whispered, “Thank you, Tanner.”

Vera moved in on one side, sliding an arm around her waist and Rocky moved in on Paige’s other side, wrapping both arms around her shoulders. The women’s heads bent to her and Paige pressed her cheek against Rocky’s breastbone as Vera clucked softly in Paige’s ear and Paige kept silently crying.

Layne’s eyes went to Devin who was looking at the women, his mouth tight, his eyes hard and glittering. He felt Layne’s eyes on him; Layne jerked his head to the door and then moved to it, Devin following. He waited until they were both in the garage, the garage door still open, before he spoke.

“You feel like multitasking?” Layne asked.

“You want a busted lip for askin’ a stupid question?” Dev answered.

Layne smiled. Devin would get the goods on Coach Adrian Cosgrove. Even if Paige pressed charges, if he did any time at all, it wouldn’t be much. She needed leverage and Devin would get it for her.

Layne got close and his voice got quiet. “Even if you have to make shit up.”

Devin grinned. “I like playin’ dirty.”

It was then they heard the grumbling roar of the Charger and they turned to watch Jasper pull into the garage. Then they watched the boys pile out of the car. Layne kept his eyes on Seth and Seth didn’t peel his from Layne. He knew what was happening. Layne didn’t have to say a word to Seth Cosgrove about what he’d find inside Layne’s house.

But he had to warn his boys.

“What’s up, Dad?” Tripp asked as they got close and Layne tore his eyes from Seth and looked at his youngest son then at his oldest then back to Tripp.

“You’re gonna walk into the kitchen and see shit and hear shit and everything you see and hear stays in that house. You don’t talk to friends about it, you don’t pray to God about it, you keep your mouth shut. Get me, Pal?”

Tripp stared at him and nodded.

Layne kept talking. “It’s not gonna be pretty but you play it cool when you get in there. Be smart and be yourself, except, like I said, cool.” He smiled at his son to take the bite out of his words and Tripp smiled back, it was small, it didn’t reach his eyes but he smiled.

Layne’s eyes went to Seth. “You know?”

Seth nodded, face pale, jaw tight then he hissed, “Fuck! I shoulda gone home.”

“Put it away, son,” Devin said firmly. “Ain’t no goin’ back, only movin’ forward. You learn that, you learn it fast and you learn it now. What’s done is done. Now you go in there and see to your mother.”

Seth had no idea who Devin was but he still nodded to him before he looked at the door to the utility room and closed his eyes. Layne hoped he’d beat it back but he knew the kid was struggling. He was nearly a man but this shit wore you down. Layne wouldn’t be surprised at tears and he hoped his sons would get it that their friend wasn’t weak, he was just powerless.

But Seth beat it back, opened his eyes and walked straight to and through the door.

Jasper moved to follow but Layne put a hand on his chest and looked to Tripp.

“Get your Grandma to make everyone lunch,” he ordered, Tripp nodded and then hurried after Seth.

Devin gave Layne and Jasper a look before he followed Tripp.

Layne took his hand out of Jasper’s chest and said, “We gotta be quick and you gotta get down everything I say.” Jasper nodded and Layne laid it out for him, what happened with Stew, what the gig was with Gabby and what his role was with Seth. “You get that?” he asked when he was done.

“Got it,” Jasper answered.

“You think you need to bag on Youth Group?” Layne asked.

“Naw, we gotta keep on that too,” Jasper replied.

Shit, Jasper was a good kid. But he’d told him that once today and once was enough so Layne just nodded.

“Check in with her regular,” he repeated.

“I said I got it,” Jasper returned.

“Rocky and me’ll take Paige. You follow with Seth in the Charger. We go to their house first, help them get their shit then we go to Cal’s.”

Jasper nodded.

“Control Keira,” Layne ordered. “The woman in our house is humiliated enough. We don’t need Keira sayin’ anything or doin’ anything nutty.”

Jasper’s chest expanded. “She’ll be cool.”

Layne lifted his chin. “I reckon she will.” Jasper relaxed, Layne turned and moved to the door, muttering, “Let’s get lunch and get this done.”

He had a hand on the handle when he heard Jasper call, “Dad?”

He looked to his boy. “Yeah?”

Jasper stared at him, expression hidden except a muscle ticking in his cheek.

Finally, he spoke and the words seemed forced out of him. “I’m glad you’re proud of me.” Layne jerked his chin up and started to turn the handle on the door when Jasper finished. “’Cause I’m proud of you too.”

A new burn ignited, just in his chest, so hot, he was finding it hard to breathe.

His voice was hoarse and low when he said, “Good to have you back, Bud.”

He saw Jasper’s chest was moving like Layne knew his was moving and he knew his son had the same burn inside him so he left him alone to beat it back, turned the handle and walked into the house.

Layne hit the button on the remote and the TV flicked off then he looked down at Rocky’s head resting heavily in the middle of his chest.

Vera was upstairs in Tripp’s bed. Tripp was on an air mattress in Jasper’s room, Jasper in his bed. Gabby had called in to Jas and she was safe at Brandy’s. Stew was wherever Stew was but none of his shit was at Gabby’s. Paige and Seth were at Cal’s old house.

Devin was out, whereabouts unknown, but he was either at J&J’s getting hammered or he was talking a bookie into doing him a favor and laying a fake trail of Coach Cosgrove betting on high school football games as well as giving insider information on when he’d be throwing them. Layne thought this because that was what Layne would do and Devin had taught him everything he hadn’t learned in the field so if Dev felt like playing dirty, Layne reckoned that was how he’d play it.

And Layne was on his back on the couch with a sleeping Raquel, her body half on his, half tucked into the seat of the couch at the back. Her knee was cocked, thigh resting over both of his, her pelvis snug in his hip, her arm was slung along his waist and she’d been out for the last hour.

He moved and her head instantly came up.

“Time for bed, baby,” he whispered and her eyes came to his.

He watched her blink, look around the room and he started to curl up, his arm around her back tensing to take her with him when she pressed into him and her gaze came back to his. Then he settled back when she moved her body so it was mostly on his, only partly in the couch and she crossed her arms on his chest and put her chin on her hands. He’d pulled the clip out of her hair hours ago so it was down, falling around her shoulders and on his chest.

Now she was studying him, sleep still in her eyes, something he couldn’t read with it.

“You know,” she started softly, “I promised I’d live it real.”

“Yeah?” Layne asked when she said no more.

“Well, I’m thinking about going back on that promise,” she told him and his arm around her squeezed.

“Roc –”

One side of her mouth she couldn’t control twitched up and she said, “Layne, if this is your real, I think we should live it fake for Sunday. I’ll wear an apron and make a pot roast and you can put on loafers and we can pretend to be Ozzie and Harriet without seeing disgusting pornographic pictures starring Stew ‘Ick’ Baranski, shaking anyone down, setting up safe houses for victims of domestic violence or sending teenaged kids on undercover assignments at Church Youth Groups.”

He used his arm around her to pull her up his chest, her chin came off her hands, her face came level with his and he gathered her hair in his other hand as he fought back a smile and told her, “Don’t own loafers, sweetcheeks.”

“We’ll go to the mall,” she offered. “I don’t own an apron either, we’ll pick one of those up too.”

“Not a big fan of shopping,” he informed her.

“That’s okay, you can swing by and get me a coffee. I’ll do all the grunt work.”

He used her hair to bring her mouth to his and he kissed her lightly. He did it lightly because she put pressure on his hand and pulled back a little and he watched her eyes move over his face then her hand came up and he felt her fingers at his jaw. She watched as they glided feather light along his jaw, his lips and then over his cheekbone before her fingers slid into his hair at the side of his head, curling around the back and her eyes came back to his.

“I know about you,” she whispered.

“What do you know?” he whispered back.

“You help people,” she was still whispering.

“Rocky –”

She interrupted him. “I know about Kim Kempler.”

“Roc –”

“And I know about Winona Jakobi.”

“Baby –”

“Mostly women, right Layne?” she asked softly and he felt his body get tight.

“It isn’t –”

“Women with kids but on their own,” she cut him off. “Women like your Mom who struggle going it alone.”

“Ma did all right,” Layne reminded her.

“Yeah, because her son got a paper route the minute he could and got a job the minute he could get that. Couldn’t play football, even though you were good, as good as Alec Colton, if not better, because you had to quit when you were fifteen and work after school to help out at home.”

Layne tried to lighten the mood. “I don’t have amnesia, sweetcheeks.”

Rocky didn’t feel like lightening the mood. Her eyes had grown intense and her hand moved out of his hair so she could run the backs of her knuckles against his jaw. She flattened her hand on his cheek and her eyes held his.

“What am I going to do with you, Tanner Layne?” she whispered.

“If you’re open to suggestions, I got a few,” Layne whispered back.

“Do you want real?” she asked suddenly and he didn’t understand the question.

Still, he answered, “Yeah, I want real.”

“How real?” she asked quickly back.

“Lay it on me, Rocky,” Layne invited.

“I didn’t love him,” she returned and his body got tight under hers again. “I talked myself into thinking I loved him, but I didn’t. I liked him. I admired him. He’s brilliant at what he does, he’s passionate about it. I wanted to love him, I tried, but I never did.”

“What I’m hearin’, Roc, he wasn’t an easy man to love,” Layne replied.

“He treated me like shit,” Rocky announced and his arm automatically squeezed her as his hand holding her hair balled into a fist. “That’s why I couldn’t love him, I guess. Because he treated me like shit. For ten years. Even before we were married. And I took that, Layne. I took ten years of it. I took it.”

“You goin’ somewhere with this?” he asked.

“Do you think we’re going somewhere?” she asked back.

“We are goin’ somewhere,” he returned.

She nodded. “Then you need to know what kind of woman I’ve become.”

Layne stared at her a second and he fought it, he really did, but he couldn’t help it and he burst out laughing.

“Layne!” she snapped after he’d been laughing awhile and he rolled so she was on her back in the couch and he was mostly on top of her. When he got her in that position and kept laughing, she repeated, “Layne!”

“Give me a minute, sweetcheeks, that was fuckin’ funny.”

“I wasn’t trying to be funny,” she hissed.

“Well you were,” he said through waning laughter.

She glared at him then announced, “He’s bad in bed.” Layne burst out laughing again and Rocky slapped his arm. “Stop laughing, that’s not funny!”

“No, baby, you’re right, it isn’t, for you, for me, I find it hilarious,” Layne returned.

“I put up with that too,” she declared stubbornly then went back on it. “Well, I did then I didn’t so I guess it’s no surprise he went looking elsewhere because… well…”

Layne’s body was shaking and his side hurt so he said, “Please, Roc, you’re killin’ me.”

She fell silent, Layne got control of his hilarity and when he did he saw she was staring at him, serious as a heart attack.

“It’s interesting you think the last ten years of my life are amusing,” she noted and Layne sobered instantly and just as instantly gave it to her straight.

“I’m not glad he treated you like shit and I’m not glad he was shit in bed but at the same time I am. I’m glad you didn’t move onto anything better than what we had because I didn’t. Not in bed and not out of it, not ever, not once, not even close. It would suck if you did because that would kill and these last eighteen years without you were bad enough. These last eighteen years thinkin’ you’d gone onto somethin’ good, somethin’ solid, somethin’ that made you happy cut straight to the bone, Rocky. Knowin’ you didn’t is a relief, you should know that and I don’t give a fuck what you think about it, that’s how I feel.”

When he was done, she was still staring at him but her face had changed, her lips were parted and her eyes were intense. But she didn’t speak so he took that at his cue to continue.

“Somethin’ else, sweetcheeks,” he went on. “I know what kind of woman you are, you can’t hide it. So you made shitty decisions. I got blotto a week after you left me, fucked the first woman who came along that night who reminded me of you, the condom broke and she got pregnant. I was drunk but that’s no excuse, it was a shitty decision. I was pissed and in pain, made that decision and bore the consequences. I lucked out and got Jasper and Tripp outta that. You, if you play your cards right, can take his ass to the cleaners and make it so you’ll never worry about money. That’s what you’ll get out of yours.”

“I think, don’t you, that I should just cut my losses and move on. There’s no reason to make Jarrod pay for me not loving him,” Rocky replied.

“Oh yeah… yeah there is,” Layne returned.

“Really? What?”

His face dipped close. “Because he could have made you happy. It was me, you gave me a shot, I’d tie myself into knots to make you happy. He didn’t do that. He treated you like shit, made you feel small and fucked around on you. You think you played him but you didn’t. He might not be any good at fuckin’ but he’s the master at fuckin’ you over and he should pay for that.”

“Layne –” she started, her mouth had gone soft, her eyes had gone half-mast but he was on a roll.

She wanted to talk? They were going to talk.

“Why were you in my hospital room?”

Her body went solid underneath him and she repeated, “Layne.”

His arms gave her a rough squeeze. “Answer me, Rocky, why?” She closed her eyes and he gave her another squeeze on a warning, “Roc.”

She opened her eyes and whispered, “You know why, Layne.”

And that was when Layne watched the tears fill her eyes and one slid out the side, down her temple, into her hair and there it was. He knew it, or he had wanted to know it but he couldn’t be sure but there it was, the proof leaking from Rocky’s eyes.

He lifted his hand, slid his fingers into her hair and used his thumb to wipe the wetness away.

“Yeah, baby,” he said gently, “I know why and now that I’ve reminded you, can we get passed this shit?”

Apparently they couldn’t, not yet.

“You were drunk when you slept with her?”

“Yeah.”

She stared up at him and took in a deep breath then another one until her eyes cleared and she asked, “Why do men do that?”

“Baby, I did it and I don’t even know why I did it.”

She studied his face and then nodded and he felt her body ease under his, something he knew wouldn’t last long because he had to ask so he was going to ask.

“Why’d you leave me?”

Her eyes held his, Layne held his breath and she surprised the fuck out of him when she answered.

“I did it,” she stopped and licked her lips, “and I don’t know why I did it.”

He closed his eyes and turned his head away because that was pure and complete bullshit. Such bullshit, when he was being straight with her, that it pissed him right, the fuck, off. So he started to knife away but stopped when he felt her fingers curl around his neck.

His eyes went back to her.

“You know, right after I left you, two days I stayed in my room at Dad’s house and I don’t remember a second. I don’t remember eating or sleeping or going to the bathroom. I just remember getting up on the third day, all my stuff from our house in boxes and suitcases jammed into my room, and I walked down and Dad was eating cereal. He looked at me and said, ‘Want me to take you back to Tanner?’ and I said, ‘Never,’ and that was it. I don’t know why. I know…” She closed her eyes and Layne held his breath again until she opened them and went on in a whisper. “I know it hurt. I know every day I struggled with it. I know every day I wondered why I was struggling. I know how it felt when you’d call, come over, I’d hear you arguing with Dad or Merry. I know how all of that felt. I remember all of that. I know it didn’t feel good and I knew then that the only way to make it better was to go back to you. I just don’t know why I couldn’t.” The tears came back into her eyes, shimmering for a second before falling and she lifted her head, closed her eyes, pressed her forehead to his and finished. “Until you got shot.” She opened her eyes and, close up, they locked on his. “Eighteen years, every day I struggled against finding a way to connect with you but I couldn’t fight it anymore when you got shot.”

His hand sifted into her hair at the side and he slanted his head and touched his mouth to hers, muttering, “Baby.”

She shook her head and her arms slid around his shoulders, she buried her face in his neck and her body trembled with her tears as she kept talking, her voice rough and thick, difficult to hear and not because her words were hard to make out.

“Every day for eighteen years, Layne, every fucking day. I missed you every day. I’d wake up next to Jarrod and wish it was you, I’d go to sleep next to him and wish it was you.” She pulled her face out of his neck and her eyes hit his but hers were so wet he knew she couldn’t focus on him when she said, “That’s why he said that at the restaurant. He knew. He threw you in my face all the time. We fought about it, God, all the time. Once,” she pulled her hand through her hair then swiped at her cheeks in agitation, “we were making love and he asked me, right in the middle of it, ‘Who do you see, Rocky, do you see me or is Tanner fucking you?’”

Layne had been holding his tongue.

Until then.

Then, he growled, “You are fuckin’ shitting me.”

“No!” she cried and flopped back on the couch, covering her face with her hands. “I don’t blame him.” Her head was shaking side to side. “I don’t blame him.”

“Baby,” Layne’s hands went to her wrists to pull hers away from her face but they moved suddenly, turned to frame his and they held on tight.

“Merry called,” she whispered. “He called me and told me to get to the hospital. He couldn’t go. He was dealing with…” She shook her head. “He told me. He told me you’d been shot. When I got there, Gabrielle was there with the boys. She was so pissed when she saw me. Jasper and Tripp, they were in a fog, they didn’t even know I was there. But Gabrielle, she was pissed. And I didn’t care. I just sat there until the boys left you and I could get into your room and I sat there until you woke up and I knew you were okay. And that was it. I couldn’t fight it anymore, whatever it was and now…” she stared up at him, “now…” her eyeballs went side to side, “well, now I’m here.”

“Now you’re here,” Layne repeated, her eyes came to his and her hands slid from his face and down to rest on his chest.

“Now, I’m here,” she whispered.

“You play me?” Layne asked and he felt pressure at her hands at his chest before they went away, one folding around the other and she rested them on her chest.

“Play you?” She was still whispering.

“Sweetcheeks, leg of lamb?”

Light dawned and Layne watched her face close down but not before he saw the pain knife through her eyes. “No, Layne,” she said softly. “I didn’t play you.”

Then she shifted as if to slide out from under him but he gave her all his weight, pressing her into the couch and he framed her face with his hands.

“You played me,” he murmured, looking into her eyes.

“I didn’t.” She bucked her back to try to throw him off.

“You played me, just didn’t know you were doing it.”

She stilled under him, held his gaze and announced, “I think I’m sleeping at home tonight.”

He grinned. “Oh no you’re fuckin’ not.”

“I am.”

“You’re not.”

“Layne, I am so get off,” she demanded, bucking again.

His thumb slid over her cheek and down to rest on her lips and his face got close. “No, Roc, you’re not gonna go home. You’re gonna go upstairs and you’re gonna get naked and climb into my bed and then you’re gonna let me do what I want to your body, whatever I want, for as long as I want and, when I make you come, you’re gonna hafta be quiet about it so you don’t wake up Ma and my boys.”

“Get off,” she whispered but there was no fire to it and his grin turned to a smile, he dropped his head and whispered in her ear.

“First I’m gonna suck your tits and finger fuck you ‘til you come. Then I’m gonna go down on you ‘til you come. Then I’m gonna fuck you hard ‘til I come.” He lifted his head and looked at her face, eyes half-mast, mouth soft and she was already breathing heavily. “You’re up to it, you can come when I fuck you too. We’ll see how I do.”

That got him the breathy, “Layne.”

He had her. He not only had her, pretty soon he was going to have her. Thank fuck.

He put his mouth to hers and whispered, “I gotta turn the lights out and secure the house. Go upstairs and get naked for me, baby.”

“I don’t know if I can –”

“Sweetcheeks. Go upstairs and get naked for me.”

“Layne.”

“Do it.”

She pressed her head back into the couch and whispered, “But… I don’t think I can be quiet.”

Layne grinned again.

She probably couldn’t. She was a moaner eighteen years ago and she was again last night. She was great at giving head, mostly because she liked doing it and it helped when she moaned how much she liked it around his cock.

“We’ll get creative,” he promised and her eyes got round. “Go upstairs, honey, and get naked for me.”

“Okay,” she whispered, he rolled to the side, she shot off the couch but strutted up the stairs.

Layne took his time as he secured the house, turned out the lights and followed her.

He found her naked in his bed.

He got naked and joined her.

Then he did everything he promised and then some.

And he just managed to muffle her moans with his hand the first time she came, his mouth the third time and she muffled them in a pillow the second.

With Rocky dead to the world and pinning him to the bed, Layne stared at the dark ceiling and remembered his dream.

“Do you get it?” Rocky whispered in his ear.

“Get what, baby?” he whispered back.

“Why I left you?”

He didn’t get it. She’d finally explained it and he still didn’t get it.

That wasn’t a scene she acted out on his couch that was real.

Fuck, Rocky didn’t even fucking get it.

Which made Layne wonder why she left him? Why she took everything from their house, jammed it into her room and lost two days? Why she spent every day for eighteen years struggling against connecting with him? Why she spent the last months since he’d been shot losing that struggle but grasping at it?

Why was she so afraid of the fucking dark?

And what was that he felt coming off of her, seeping in the room so strong it even pressed against him, reeking of a fear that was more than fear of the fucking dark?

He knew one thing. That fear wasn’t a fear of dark and wild. That fear was dark but it wasn’t fear of him. It was a fear of something sinister.

Layne had no answers to these questions.

But he knew who did.