Hard to Handle

Chapter 10

Aiden clutched on to her shoulders, his big arms bracing her body, and buried his face into her neck. He took one ragged breath, then another, and while she didn’t hear or feel the sobs wracking his body, Sadie felt his breathing grow slow and shallow, and a damp spot on her shoulder where he’d rested his cheek.

When he pulled away, he gave a mighty sniff and wiped his eyes on one shirt sleeve. In true Aiden fashion, he laughed. It may have been raspy and watery, but it was a laugh. A lesser man would be embarrassed, maybe even make an excuse to leave. Not Aiden.

“Wow.” He coughed into one fist and, keeping his chin down, turned his eyes up to Sadie. “Was that sexy, or what?”

But it was.

“I don’t make a habit of barging into attractive single women’s houses and crying over my mother,” Aiden said with another smile. His unflappable optimism had snapped firmly back in place. “I didn’t mean—”

Sadie grasped the back of his neck and smothered whatever words he would have said with her mouth. This was a kiss of pure need. She needed Aiden. And she told him with her tongue in his mouth, her hands gripping his shoulders, and her breasts mashed against his chest.

Aiden latched on to her just as desperately, locking her in his arms, his tongue sparring with hers. Like he needed her, too.

I’m ready.

The thought came with so much conviction, she didn’t even question it. Thirty years of waiting to have sex hadn’t been easy. Being engaged and enduring a long-term relationship without getting physical had challenged her in a whole new way. After Trey dumped her for Celeste, Sadie had to choose how she felt about it—about herself. Either she could A) believe the only way to keep a guy around was to have sex with him or B) believe that if a guy couldn’t go without sleeping with her, then he didn’t deserve her anyway.

She chose B.

What may have started as a why-buy-the-milk-if-you-get-the-cow-for-free theory had morphed into another layer of protection. Sadie simply didn’t want to get hurt ever again. Keeping sex out of the mix had been a no-brainer. But Aiden, while he had hurt her in the past, maybe even worse than Trey, had never once pushed her, pressured her, been anything less than good to her. And that, she thought solidly, was worthy of the whole damn dairy farm.

Sadie pulled her hands over Aiden’s solid chest, shivering with anticipation at feeling his hot skin against hers, of getting him out of his thin cotton tee. She lifted his shirt and ran her fingers over the bumps of his abs, then up to his nipples. They pebbled beneath her nails and Aiden clasped onto the material of her dress, his teeth raking over her lips as a low, guttural groan emitted from his throat.

Sadie smiled against his mouth, sure, so sure, of her decision. So sold on stripping this man of his clothes and dragging him into her bedroom.

She needed more. And she needed it now.

Fingers diving into the waistband of his jeans, she tugged him and he stood, bracing one hand on the counter, the other around her waist. He let her back him against the sink, keeping his lips fused with hers. His hip hit the edge of the counter, rattling the dishes in the drainer.

With the idea of making love with Aiden firmly planted in her brain, Sadie’s actions came at the pace of a runaway train. Thrill bloomed in her belly, and lower, as she straddled his leg, rubbing her body against him while her hands explored his torso. She traced a circle around his belly button, plucked the stud on his jeans. When she reached for his zipper, Aiden’s hand covered hers.

His lips curved against hers and he laid another damp kiss on her mouth before blowing out a warm, wine-scented breath.

Sadie opened her eyes, met his gaze. He watched her, his pupils wide and dark, want warring with intent. Or maybe not, Sadie thought suddenly. Maybe Aiden didn’t want her. Maybe last night’s kiss was just a kiss.

There was a sobering thought.

She stepped away from him, sliding her hand out from under his. He snapped his jeans, scrubbed his face with both hands, and ran them through his shorn hair. His tongue darted out to wet his lips as all of Sadie’s girly parts sang his mouth’s praise.

“My fault,” he rasped, voice rough. “I didn’t mean to…”

He didn’t finish. He didn’t need to. Sadie understood that he’d been responding to her and she’d gone too far. A kiss was a kiss, but sex was so much more. And Aiden clearly didn’t want to invest quite as much in her as she did in him.

So…this was new. Sadie had never had a guy try and stop her from going too far. For the first time, she understood how frustrating it was to receive a cease and desist when things were starting to get good.

“No, geez, I’m sorry,” Sadie said, rubbing her eyebrow with two fingers to partially hide her face. She gave Aiden a carefree smile and shrug, trying to play things way down.

Way, way down.

She straightened her dress and fished for an excuse. “The wine—”

“It’s not that I don’t want to sleep with you,” Aiden said.

She hazarded a look up at him. He gripped the countertop with white knuckles, holding his body in check as he sent a longing gaze down hers.

Sadie shivered, the words sleep with you causing a flash of X-rated visions dancing merrily in her brain. Heat gathered between her legs.

“Believe me.” Aiden lowered his chin, his expression menacing in the sexiest way possible. “It’s not that I don’t want to.”

She pressed her knees together in a vain effort to control the thrumming pulse at her center.

Aiden sucked in a breath and blew it out, recalibrating his thoughts. “But you have had a hell of a day, Sadie.”

Right? And after the day she’d had, the very best thing for her—for both of them—would be to strip him of those inconvenient clothes and invite him up to her mattress. The thrumming quickened and Sadie wondered if anyone had ever died of lusty, sinful thoughts.

Aiden rested his hands on her upper arms and Sadie would have melted into him if not for the hand she raised and anchored against his chest.

“You’re upset,” he said, “you’ve been drinking, and I won’t let you make a decision you might regret later.”

Sadie huffed. Foiled again.

After he left, she was going to finish the bottle of wine they’d been sharing and open another. Maybe once she was slobbering drunk, she’d lose the needy ache pounding relentlessly along her every vertebrae.

“You’d be surprised how sober I feel,” she mumbled. She took a drink, swallowed. Took another. “Sorry I attacked you.”

Aiden laughed, a hearty ha! “Never, never apologize for that.”

He was so easy to like. How did someone who’d been through some of the hardest things in life maintain his level of easy? Aiden brushed by her and Sadie turned to tell him good-bye. He surprised her by snapping up the wine bottle and emptying it into his glass. “Have any more of this stuff?” he asked, dropping the bottle into the recycling bin.

“Yeah. In the fridge.”

“Good,” he said, digging out a fresh bottle. “Because I’m going to need to come to terms with the decision I just made.” He shot her a self-deprecating grin. “Parts of my body will never forgive me for turning you down.”

Her smile returned.

“Only another glass or two,” he told her. “If I have more than that I’ll be tempted to make up a story about how I need to sleep on your couch.”

She snickered and Aiden pressed a kiss to her mouth. It wasn’t a long kiss and it wasn’t overtly romantic, but it curled her toes inside her four-inch heels all the same.

He worked the corkscrew into the bottle and refilled her glass, sending her a wink that had her sagging against the counter behind her. Then he took both their glasses and swaggered his sweet ass into her living room.

Sadie knew because she kept her eyes on it the entire time.

* * *

Three hours later, Aiden was still trying to talk himself into leaving, and his feelings for Sadie into submission. The moment she wrapped him up in her sweet scent and came out swinging in his defense, his heart gave a dangerous squeeze.

Do you love her?

I don’t think I ever stopped.

And then that kiss, and an offer he’d somehow been able to refuse. Good God, he was insane for turning her down. He was tempted to excuse himself to the kitchen and repeatedly bang his head against the refrigerator.

He wanted nothing more than to peel back that black dress and reveal her tight little body. To finally feel the warmth of her—all of her—sliding beneath him. To taste her nipples, find out what made her scream his name—

Aiden shifted, rearranging his going-for-the-world-record-for-endurance hard-on.

He’d like to convince himself he didn’t love Sadie, that what he felt for her was lust, pure and simple. No doubt something any red-blooded man felt when he laid eyes on her.

He looked over to where she lounged on the opposite arm of the couch. She’d changed into low-cut jeans and a long-sleeved shirt, and had kicked off the shoes that could’ve doubled as weaponry. Her outfit was considerably less sexy than the clingy dress she wore earlier, but Aiden couldn’t tear his eyes off her. Or those hot pink toenails peeking out from beneath the cuffs of her jeans.

He glanced toward the kitchen. Maybe after he banged his head on the fridge, he’d go a few rounds with the stove.

This wasn’t just lust. There was more. There’d always been more. The way he got her to confess with no more than a word or two. How protective he felt of her. Even now, when he should be on his bike riding off his every horny thought, he didn’t want to leave her. Like the night he tucked them into his bed last year. He hadn’t wanted her to go then, either.

Maybe he should admit out loud, to both of them, that he loved her. But he was pretty sure, to paraphrase a famous movie, Sadie couldn’t handle the truth. The thing was, Aiden could handle it. Handle loving her, handle slipping a gold band onto her finger, and certainly handle sliding into her bed. Not just tonight, but each and every night until they were so old they had to gum their food.

“I should go.” Aiden stood suddenly, knowing if he didn’t make that pronouncement soon, he wouldn’t make it at all.

Sadie unfolded her legs and stood. Aiden caught a glimpse of her breasts as she bent over, the dark shadow of her cleavage and the flash of her black bra. He ground his molars.

“You sure you’re okay to ride?” Sadie asked.

He nodded at the wine bottle on her end table. “My last glass was over an hour ago.”

“I meant…in the dark,” she said, twisting her fingers as she looked out the front window.

Aiden had ridden in more elements than she knew. Weather ranging from stinging needle-tipped raindrops to air so cold it frostbit his nose. He took a step closer to her, already anticipating a lengthy good-night kiss. “Why, you worried about me?”

“Just being polite,” Sadie snapped, her tone saying How dare you accuse me of caring.

Damn. He did love her.

“I promise to be careful,” he said. At the door, Aiden experienced been-there-done-that when he stepped onto her porch and told her good-bye. Light reflected in a halo around Sadie’s golden hair. Her face was placid, angelic, and didn’t reflect the heavy emotional toll the day had taken on her.

Aiden leaned in and pressed his lips to hers and Sadie sighed into his mouth. The soft, feminine sound tore into his chest and pulled out his still-beating heart. Her fingertips grazed his stomach, lighting twin trails down his legs. He needed to end the kiss before he hauled her legs around his waist and pushed her up against the nearest wall.

God. This woman.

When their lips parted with a subtle smooching sound, Sadie uttered one word. A word that floated out on a breath, curled around his heart, and squeezed. “Stay.”

His nostrils flared, his earlier good behavior incinerated by the jolt of lust hitting his gut like an electric shock.

“On the couch,” she added, fizzling out the pornographic images in his head. “I promise I won’t drag you to bed and make you take advantage of me.”

She was teasing, but the part of him pressing painfully against his fly didn’t know that. He glanced at the garden hose hanging on the brick wall behind her flower bed and considered sticking it down his pants and turning it on full blast.

“I am worried,” Sadie admitted, her eyes going to Sheila, parked right next to Sadie’s car. “I would sleep better knowing you were safe on my couch instead of wrapped around a tree.”

The weather was moderate, the roads practically empty this time of night. Aiden didn’t live all that far from her place. But those reasons paled in comparison to the gorgeous woman asking such a simple request.

“Okay,” he heard himself answer. “I’ll stay.”

* * *

Sadie wasn’t a morning person, but she found it impossible to sleep later than six a.m. knowing Aiden was sprawled across her couch.

She crept down the stairs, careful to skip the overly creaky one in the middle, and sat on the second to last step, peering at Aiden around the banister. He showed no signs of stirring, asleep on his stomach, his arm dangling over the couch. The sheet she’d given him was on the floor, his body bare save for the black briefs stretched over his amazing butt. She’d always thought of herself as a boxer kind of girl, but seeing Aiden laid out like he was had her fervently switching sides on the debate. She allowed her gaze to roam over all his tanned flesh, liking how much space he took up, one leg nearly off the couch, his bare foot hanging off the edge of one cushion. His breathing was steady, his hair a mess over his forehead, his lips parted in the most seductive, tempting way.

She’d thought about waking him and dragging him back to her bed a hundred times last night. Just for sleeping. Just so she could snuggle against him. But last night had been volatile enough without her tossing gasoline onto an already steadily burning fire.

And she didn’t want to look any needier (if that was possible). The last blow to her stinging ego would be Aiden rejecting her again. She could hear it now: Are you still trying to get me to sleep with you?

Aiden sucked in a breath and rolled over, his hand sliding over his flat stomach, then down to the impressive bulge hiding beneath the confines of his underwear. He adjusted himself and Sadie stared, mouth open, hand clutching her throat. She bet that part of him was as glorious as the rest of him. Oh, how she’d like to see it. Just once. She licked her lips and his hand moved away, his slightly amused voice slicing into the air.

“You keep looking at me like that and you may get more for breakfast than you bargained for.”

Sadie’s face went hot. She stood and wrapped her robe tighter, her movements jerky, and beelined for the sanctuary of the kitchen. “Want some coffee?”

Aiden caught one of the ties on her robe and pulled her onto his lap, where the part she’d been ogling earlier pressed against her hip. Keeping his hand fisted in the slippery material covering her, he watched her for a few agonizing seconds before his lips, rimmed in a sheen of sexy stubble, formed the words, “I’d love some coffee.”

He released her and Sadie scuttled away like a frightened crab.

She popped the individual plastic coffee container into the single-serve maker and pressed a button, lamenting not having extra steps to busy her hands. The task of pulling out a filter, counting scoops of coffee, and measuring out water would have helped distract her from the fact there was a sexy, aroused man in the other room.

As it was, she could think of nothing but.

Were mornings after always this awkward? Seemed unfair to have an awkward morning after if she didn’t get an exhilarating night before. How did anyone endure this unnerving, skin-vibrating tension?

Get the good part now, a newly awakened, wanton part of her crowed. Her pragmatic side agreed. She could return to the living room, drop her robe into a pool at her feet. Aiden was obviously ready to go. No doubt he’d be a willing participant in extracurricular morning activities.

Though, things might get weird after…when she had to shower and get ready for work. When he gathered his clothes and tried to make forced conversation as he backed toward the door.

Maybe it was for the best they hadn’t had sex. Made love.

Whichever.

The coffeemaker finished its sputtering and she stared into the dark brew for a few seconds, recalling the morning she and Aiden had shared last summer.

“I take it black.”

She turned to find Aiden standing in her kitchen, feet and chest bare, jeans riding low on his hips. And she was staring. Again. “I remember.”

She slid the mug across the breakfast bar. He brushed his hand against hers as he took it. “Thanks.”

Sadie’s fingers tingled as she made herself a mug. She stared at the brewer rather than allow her eyes to parade around Aiden’s incredibly beautiful bare chest. She didn’t know how much longer she would last. This man was distracting to the nth degree. “You work today?” he asked.

“Yes. Yes I do.” She emptied approximately a gallon of creamer into her mug. “You?”

“Yeah.”

She blew on her coffee, took a sip, drummed her fingernails on the porcelain. Five seconds passed, then five more, circling them like sharks around an injured harp seal.

Aiden broke the tense silence. “Coming into Axle’s?”

Ah, relief. A topic. “For a little while. I want to finish the display.”

“Dad is dropping off my nephew around lunchtime. Care to join us at the park for a little while?”

“Park?”

“Yeah. Cordoned outdoor area with trees, grass, and the occasional jungle gym.”

“Smart aleck.”

Aiden smiled the sexiest smile she’d ever seen. And she bought People’s annual Sexiest Man Alive issue religiously. “He likes to play football. He’s only five, but the kid’s got an arm already.”

A park. A park sounded harmless. Especially with a munchkin chaperoning them. She didn’t have plans for lunch, other than eating a container of Yoplait and wrestling her hormones into submission.

“Sure, why not.” She was trying to act casual, but as she lifted her mug and peered at him over the rim, she reconsidered her safety.

Five-year-old or not, with Aiden, a park was never just a park.