If only

Chapter Five

Sally used her thumbs to tap in the phone number to the Shadowlands, winced, and frowned at her hand. Every nail was bitten down to the quick…and now a bit past. Ugh.

Sitting in the shade near the University of Central Florida’s reflecting pond, she tried to let the noise of the fountain calm her. Didn’t work. Even the stupid stubby St. Augustine grass annoyed her. In kindergarten, she and her best friend would roll down the tiny playground hill. But silky-soft northern grasses didn’t like Florida. No one would roll on this crap.

She used her index finger on the small cell-phone screen. Got to admit, short nails made it easier to type. But she really should stop chewing on herself. She’d thought she’d gotten past the nervous habit in college. Did they still sell that nasty stuff you could put on your nails?

“Sally, I’ve been worried about you.” The voice on the other end was deep, rich, and powerful.

Damn caller ID and double damn the call hadn’t gone to voice mail. Sally rolled her eyes. And didn’t that make this a typical Monday? In a totally crappy month. In fact, the entire season had sucked the big one. “Master Z, I appreciate you letting me return to the trainees, but it’s not working out with my schedule. I’m sorry to do this to you, but I’m quitting. Again.” Forever.

The pause seemed far too long. “Would you trust me enough to meet me so we can discuss this? I’d consider it a favor.”

Oh, sneaky, guilt-inducing question. If she said no, the implication was that she didn’t trust him. “No need.” She forced a light tone past her clogged-up throat. “I’m finishing up my semester and am overloaded right now. Afterward, I’ll probably move out of state to wherever I find a job. This is as good a time as any to quit.”

“Little one, did Galen and Vance—”

“No. My decision has nothing to do with them.” God, how many people could she lie to? She blinked back tears, already missing everyone. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me over the years, Sir. Give Jessica a hug for me.” It took all her determination to push the red Disconnect button.

After staring at the blank screen for a minute, she turned the phone completely off. Just in case.

He knew she was quitting because of the Feds. Would he give the men a rough time? Master Z was very protective of the submissives—especially the trainees.

A breeze ruffled her hair. Wind was wonderfully soothing in a muggy climate…until it was disturbed, turned into a hurricane, and flattened everything in its path. Much like Master Z.

She shook her head. She’d bet Galen had a ferocious temper as well. And he and Vance hadn’t done anything terribly wrong. They’d only asked her some questions.

Hard questions.

Chin on her knee, she wrapped her arms around her legs. She not only didn’t know the answers, but the idea of sharing her emotions creeped her out.

She’d never talked to Frank about her feelings. Like her father, he didn’t want to know.

She scowled. So they wanted her to blurt out every thought? How boring. Wouldn’t that take all the fun out of a scene?

Her brows drew together. Would it, though? Other submissives talked to their Doms about their impressions—even if not during the scene, at least afterward. But—Sally wrinkled her brow—why hadn’t she told a Dom something like, I prefer finger fucking to be gentle at first. In aftercare, she’d snuggle, not talk, even if the Doms wanted to discuss the scene. And most of them had.

She frowned. Frank never asked. He’d never done much aftercare for that matter. He might’ve talked the talk, but he sure hadn’t walked the walk.

The Feds had him beat there. They’d been affectionate. Caring. Acting as if they liked who she was…aside from her reluctance to spill her guts. What was their problem anyway? Guys weren’t supposed to like that emotional baring stuff…which was probably why no other Doms had gotten upset. But the Feds had been all over her evasions like white on rice.

Sheesh.

Well, she couldn’t deal with this now. She had a couple of final papers to hand in, graduation practice, and résumés to send out.

Job hunting to do. She hadn’t lied to Master Z about relocating away from Tampa.

She’d planned on trying to find a job in the area. Leaving might be smarter. The BDSM community was small enough that the local Doms would learn she’d faked orgasms. Or she’d run into Frank. How awkward would that be?

She straightened her shoulders. Three easy steps. Graduate. Find a job. Move.

But I like Florida. She shook her head. No whining. Miami might be fun. Or better yet, New Orleans.

But she’d leave behind all her Shadowlands friends. When tears burned her eyes, she had to bite her lip to keep control.

I can do this. She could do anything. She’d survived losing her mother. Survived her father’s anger. Put herself through college and grad school. Being lonely… Well, she’d make new friends.

She was “fun.” No one had ever wanted more from her than silence and service or entertainment.

Not until the stupid Feds.