If You Deceive

Chapter Twenty

"The hell we're no' having sex till we're married!"

"I'm in earnest, Scot. I won't make the same mistake twice."

He'd just been fighting an overpowering sense of relief that she was staying when she'd thrown these ridiculous conditions in his face. "I will no' question you about your past, and, aye, I'll be faithful to you. Fine, I agree to those conditions. As for your wanting to start a family right away—then, aye, God willing," he baldly lied. "I'll certainly do my part to contribute. But the fourth condition is unacceptable. I've a man's needs, and they will no' simply disappear during our engagement—"

She strode for the door. Why had he ever assumed this would be easy?

"Those are my terms," she said without looking back. "I think I'm being very generous."

"So am I. The ring you're walking away with will keep you in apples for many a year."

She turned to him. "I don't evenlike you."

"Yet I have it on good authority that you did once."

Her lips thinned, and he wagered she was silently vowing to kill her friends. "Worse, you don't even like me."

He didn't bother denying it. He was feeling a lot of things about her, buta liking for her was not one of them. "You're negotiating with me as if you have a leg to stand on. Where does a girl like you get the ballocks to risk losing a man with money and power who's willing to marry her? You've been ruined, remember? Most wealthy men would only accept a virgin. Since I relieved you of yours, this is your good fortune that I'm still interested."

"I know that I'm not negotiating from a position of power—but I don't trust you. Ifiercely don't trust you."

"Do you want this condition for leverage or because you fear me getting a bairn on you before marriage?"

"Both," she readily admitted.

Seeing that she would hold firm on this for now, he said, "Fine. I'll agree that we'll wait—if you vow to slake me in other ways, whenever I want it." When she frowned at him, he said, "I doona care how I'm satisfied—just that I am."

"You're only saying that because you think you can seduce me to do more."

That was precisely what he'd planned. He didn't like how she continued to anticipate his moves.

"It won't happen because I have no interest in you that way," she added.

"You'll learn to want me again."

"You're amazing! If your behavior didn't kill any spark of desire for you, then your true appearance did."

He narrowed his eyes, stalking toward her. When he'd backed her against the wall, he reached his hand out to cup her nape. "You canna deny you enjoyed my kiss," he said as he slowly drew her into his chest.

Her breaths shallowed. "B-because I believed you were different then."

"Do you ever think about what happened in the carriage before I took you?"

When her cheeks grew flushed, he had his answer.

"I do," he admitted. "I think about it. Constantly." He knew he needed to use a measured seduction to get what he wanted. Though it took will, he moved his hand from gripping her neck to cradling her face. "And I remember that you liked the way I kissed you and stroked you."

She gazed at his lips, with her brows drawn as if she was thinking of it just then.

He leaned down and murmured at her ear, "You were so close to coming for me."

She gasped, shivering against him.

Nuzzling her neck down past her choker, he said, "Why do you think you will no' enjoy it again?" Their ragged breaths were the only sounds in the room. "I'm going to kiss you now, and if you doona respond, then I'll leave and never bother you again. If you do…then you're mine."

"I'm not going to agree to that…"She swallowed. "Agree to your ridiculous"—he drew in closer—"little test." Her hands were balled against his chest. "Silly, really…"

He slowly slanted his mouth over hers, but she tensed, pushing against him. He didn't release her, just continued to tease her lips with his tongue. After long moments, her fists relaxed, and she rested her palms against him.

At last, her lips parted for him, letting him taste her as he'd wanted to for weeks. She brushed her hands up from his chest, twining her fingers at his neck, pressing her body against him so sweetly.

When he deepened the contact, she gave a whimper, then began kissing him back, filling him with a sense of triumph. Maybe she didn't find him repulsive. Why would she feign this? Her lapping tongue made his blood race, made him want to reach down and cup her arse to grind her against him. He'd been prepared to seduce, to cajole, to pleasure her. But he hadn't been prepared to lose himself from a mere kiss—again.

She tugged on his neck, rubbing against his front, and he groaned. How could she render him so crazed so swiftly? He was already nearing the edge of his control, fighting the nearly irresistible urge to toss her to the bed and mindlessly cover her.

With a will he hadn't known he possessed, he forced himself to release her. After struggling to collect his thoughts and to catch his breath, he rasped, "It does no' have to be bad, Madeleine. I'll teach you to trust me again, and we can bring each other pleasure."

She looked stunned, guarded, almost worse than before, so he tried to make his tone light. "Though I think after a couple of days, you'll find it easier just to lie back and receive me."

"Why? Is it difficult to please you? It didn't seem that much so in the carriage."

He clenched his jaw and forced himself to even his tone. "No' necessarily. It's just that you'll be doing it three or four times a day."

"With a man of your advanced years?"

Advanced years? By God, Iamgoing to throttle her. "Let's just say that I've got a lot to make up for. And it begins tonight."

"I haven't agreed, MacCarrick."

"You will. But before you do, I reserve the right to try to seduce you completely."

After a long hesitation, she said, "I'll agree,if you'll get me my own room tonight. As for the other, I guaranteenothing ."

"Why would I get you a room? As of this minute, we're engaged." Ach, that sounded unnatural.

"I just want to soak in that tub and think about everything. My head's spinning." She swayed on her feet. "Please, if you knew the day I've had…"

"How can I be certain you will no' run off in the night? You did before."

"If I promise not to?"

"I will give you some time to bathe, but from now on, we share a room."

She exhaled, then reluctantly nodded.

"I'll return in half an hour," he said before leaving. As he made his way downstairs to the street, he took in the chill air, trying to shake off her effect on him.

Damn it, he could go a night without touching her—a small sacrifice for the larger plan. He didn't know how well he'd acquit himself anyway. He hadn't slept more than a few hours at a time since he'd decided to journey to Paris for her, and weakness from his injury lingered.

He frowned. How would they sleep tonight? He understood why he'd had to insist they share a room, but it had been strange to do so since he'd never stayed the night with a woman in his entire life. He'd shuddered at the prospect of waking to most of them and had resented even theidea of the intrusion into his life.

After sex, when they'd sighed, reaching for him with their clinging arms, he'd bolted every time. Throwing on his clothes as he hastened out into rain, snow, or whatever element—he'd just made sure he escaped.Clingers, every bloody one of them .

Women had a lamentable and ridiculous tendency to conflate sex and affection, not understanding that these were two distinct scenarios—and that he only had interest in the former. Ethan thought they ought not go together at all….

A laughing older couple, clearly married, passed him on their way into the hotel. He studied them, supposing some people had success with matrimony. Ethan's own parents had been deeply in love. But then, their union had ended in tragedy. Would his brothers fare better—

Did Madeleine really just agree to marry me?

If he took away the charade, the fact remained that she'd acceptedhis proposal—after seeing his face.

He scowled. The only way a man who looked like him could land a beauty like her was because she was starving and in danger and she believed he could protect her. The only reason he was so repulsive was because of what her parents had done to him.

In his mind, she was his. He wasowed her. Owed the use of her soft body. In fact, it was his due to touch her anytime he pleased. Hadn't he told her she'd satisfy him whenever he desired it?

So why had he left now? Anger simmering, he stomped back up the stairs to stake his claim.