If You Desire

Chapter Fifty

"This is not happening to me,"Jane muttered.

"Will he really harm Bidworth?" Belinda asked, eyes wide as Hugh stalked poor Freddie.

"Yes," Jane hissed desperately, casting her father an entreating look. He wasn't going to do anything! He only studied Hugh and her, back and forth, eyes watchful.

"Fine." Jane glared at her father over her shoulder as she hurried toward Hugh. "I'llhandle this." Once she'd reached Hugh, his hand shot out to clutch her elbow as if he feared she'd flee from him at any second. "If you'll come with me to Papa's study?" He hesitated, so obviously wanting to thrash Freddie. "Hugh, if you want to speak with me, I won't do it here." He finally allowed her to lead him from the room.

In the front hallway, Hugh slowed and grated, "Why in the hell is Bidworth here?" She saw him glance at her bare ring finger, and his tone went lower. "Have you…have you taken up with him again?"

"Not that it is any of your business, but he's here with his new intended," she answered calmly, letting him relax an instant before adding, "to wish me well on my travels."

"Travels?"

"Yes, you just ruined the party my family threw for Claudia and me to see us off to Italy for the winter."

"When are you supposed to sail?"

"On the morning's tide—"

"No."

She rubbed her temples. "I clearly misheard you. For a moment, I thought you had just dared to insert yourself into my life once more. You gave up any right you had to do that."

"No, I dinna. I'm still your husband. We're married, and we're staying that way."

She blinked at him.

"You heard me, lass."

Perfect, Jane thought with a sigh.I can get this man to keep me, but first I have to wear away his will for weeks, and then he must be pistol-whipped, bludgeoned, and concussed. It's a formula.

"What brought about this change of heart?" she asked.

"There's been no change of heart."

Behind Hugh, she saw her father ordering her cousins away, barring them from coming to her rescue. He probably thought he was buying Hugh time to apologize—when that notion hadn't seemed to have occurred to Hugh at all.

There was no apology, no flowers, not even a preamble. In fact, he hadn't bothered to take the time toshave before he'd barged into her party, threatening servants and frightening guests—after she'd thrown herself at him for weeks. "How dare you show up here like this!"

She couldn't understand him. Something had changed in Hugh—yes, he wasn't known to assail genteel soirées like a crazed Highlander—but this change was beneath the surface, a drastic shift in his whole personality. She sensed it. She…feared it. Maybe his head injury had been worse than he'd let on. Maybe it had altered him.

"I dinna mean to embarrass you like this, God knows I dinna, but what I have to say canna wait."

"Yet you couldn't tell me during all the time we were together?"

More titillated guests peered around the corner, and Hugh looked over his shoulder, seeming to snarl at them.

She gave the group a pained smile, and said in a confiding tone, "He's just about to leave, you see—"

"No' a chance of it," Hugh interrupted, telling her softly, "No' without you."

Under her breath she said, "What could you possibly have to say to me now?"

He opened his mouth to speak, but saw her glance past him once more at the gathering crowd.

Hugh's brows drew together. "This will no' work."

Her gaze snapped back to his face. "That's whatI'm saying."

"You're coming with me."

"When hell freezes—Oh!"

Before she had any idea what he intended, he'd picked her up and easily lofted her over his shoulder. Her cousins gasped.

"Hugh!" She kicked futilely. "What in the devil are you thinking?" Jane felt her face flushing from humiliation—and probably from being upside down. She didn't deserve this treatment, and she didn't have to tolerate it. She was a woman who had bloody steamer trunks by her door!

Her father strode forward, and to him she snapped, "How many times are you going to let Hugh act this way with me?"

"I swear to you, this will be the last," he said, his tone steely. "Is that correct, MacCarrick?"

"Aye, it is."

"That's good to hear, son. My carriage is outside—you can take her to Grosvenor Square in it."

Hugh nodded, then strode straight out the front door. More guests were arriving as he descended the stairs with her. She closed her eyes tightly in mortification.

When Hugh placed her in the carriage, she was breathless, speechless, and dizzy. As soon as they were rolling forward, Hugh dragged her across his lap, his hands flying to her face, cradling her cheeks as he pressed his lips to hers.

She froze, stunned.

"Sìne," he rasped. "Ah, God, lass, kiss me back." He brought his mouth down over hers, kissing her in that desperate way, as if it was the last he'd ever take from her. And like a fool, she felt herself responding to his need, to the urgency of it. He groaned, deepening the kiss as he clenched her in his arms.

She was so close to getting swept up, missing him so badly, all but forgetting the pain he'd caused.No, no, no! She forced herself to break away, pushing at him. "You said you wanted totalk to me. And I didn't even agree to that. You haven't given me any explanation."

After several moments, he released her, just as the carriage eased to a stop. When a footman opened her door, she hurried out, but paused when faced with the grand façade of the MacCarrick town house.

Her anger and hurt came back redoubled; a light mist began to fall, making her blink as she stared.

All those times she'd ridden by, praying to see him—and he'd been avoiding her all along. Had he seen her from the window and closed the drapes? She felt her bottom lip trembling to remember how badly she'd ached, how terribly she'd yearned to see him.

And that had only been the first time she'd lost him.