Inbetween

Chapter 13

Emma I didn’t want to be that girl, but Finn made me feel like I was. I’d never had a guy look at me the way he was looking at me. Like the world would shatter if I didn’t exist. I cradled my hot chocolate in my mug and glanced at the clock. Two in the morning. I needed to go to sleep, but I didn’t want to wake up and realize all of this was just another dream.

Finn sat on my bed. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I ran my fingertip along the warm lip of the mug. “This is just a lot to take in. When I woke up today, I didn’t exactly think I’d meet a dead guy and find out I had a whole life before this one.”

“Can I ask you something?”

I looked up at Finn’s curious expression and nodded. I think I would have told him anything.

Anything to get to keep looking at him. He was one of the most beautiful things I’d ever seen. It made me wish he’d actually show up in a picture.

“What did you expect to happen when you pulled out that board?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Not this.”

“Are you disappointed?”

The fear in his voice made my gaze drift up to meet his. Was I disappointed to find out there was someone trying to kill me? Yeah. Was I disappointed in meeting him? Finally having someone make sense of my life and tell me the truth?

“Of course not.” I paused. “You know, I don’t even know your last name.”

“Carter. My name is Finn Carter.” He smiled and watched me settle back into my pillows and take a sip of hot chocolate. “Do you have any idea how torturous it is to watch you drink that?”

I licked some marshmallow cream off of my bottom lip and lowered my cup. I expected him to look at the cup like he’d give anything for a taste, but his gaze never left my mouth. “How long has it been since you’ve tasted…anything?”

He laughed. “Are you trying to ask me how long I’ve been dead?”

“Yes.”

He sat back against my headboard, so close I could feel the warm electricity coming off his skin.

“Too long.”

“What do you miss the most about being alive?”

He shifted on the bed and tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling. My gaze slid from the curve of his chin, down the smooth, tan column of his neck. He finally said, “Mom’s Christmas dinner for sure.

She made the best cobbler. And the jokes Dad used to tell to make us forget the heat while we were working the crops.” He stopped and swallowed hard. “I miss too much. That’s why it’s easier not to remember.”

My throat felt tight listening to him talk about all the things he didn’t get to have anymore. “I’m sorry.”

“You were always good at that.” He slid me a glance and grinned. “Making me remember.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

He shook his head. “No. Remembering is what keeps you human, I think.”

“You seem pretty human to me.” I set my mug on my nightstand and yawned. As much as I hated it, sleep was pulling me under. My eyelids felt like they had lead weights attached to them. “Do you care if I go to sleep?”

Finn folded his arms behind his head. “As long as you don’t snore.”

I laughed into my pillow and burrowed under the blankets. I reached out to turn off the lamp and darkness blanketed the room.

“Hey, Finn?” I ran my hand over my pillow, glad the light was off so he couldn’t see how red my face was.

“Yeah?”

“When you said you’ve been watching me the last two years…” I paused, listening to him waiting beside me. “Does that mean all the time?”

There was only silence for a moment but then he said, “What do you mean? Have I—”

“Have you seen me…you know…without any clothes on?”

“N-no. Of course I haven’t. Why would I—” He sounded horrified and I couldn’t help but laugh. “Okay, okay. I believe you.”

He laughed a little, sounding relieved. “I really haven’t. I swear.”

“I know,” I whispered. “Hey…don’t leave, okay?”

I couldn’t really see him, just a faint shimmer in the dark, but I heard him shift closer to me. “I’ll stay as long as I can.”

“Promise?”

“Always.”