Love and Let Die

Chapter Eight

Ian helped a very subby Charlie off the table. After the initial demo, she’d seemed to relax and allowed him every possible liberty with the rest of the scene. She hadn’t protested once when he drew the cotton out in elaborate trails that led from between her breasts all the way down to her toes. Each time he lit her up, there was a momentary breathlessness and then a brilliant smile as the flame died out, never once harming her.

At least he thought it hadn’t really touched her. It hadn’t been his intention to put her into subspace, but he was pretty sure she was still there. He needed to get her out of the crowd and ensure that he hadn’t burned her in any way. When Charlie was in subspace, she could take a lot more pain than normal. At least she used to be able to.

“Why don’t you take her to the locker room and let her come down?” Alex asked, stepping up to start dealing with the scene clean up. “I’ll take care of this. You deal with aftercare.”

Charlie was in a robe Eve had brought her, her arms wrapped around her middle, but a beatific smile on her face. God, she looked so innocent it was sometimes hard to remember all the shit she pulled.

“I’ll take her to the locker room for you,” Eve offered.

Eve was overstepping a bit, though she couldn’t really know it. Eve often took care of his subs after the play was done because they needed more than he was willing to give them. But this was different. He hadn’t signed a contract with Charlie outlining what he would and wouldn’t do for aftercare. No matter what he wanted, Charlie was his sub for now and he would take care of her. He swung her up into his arms and started walking away.

“Don’t you think that was a little rude, Sir?” Charlie asked, but her head was already drifting to his shoulder, her arms around his neck. “Shouldn’t you have said something to Eve?”

He thought he’d made himself pretty plain. “I prefer actions to words. Words can be taken different ways. Me walking away told Eve everything she needs to know.”

Like to stay out of his relationship with his sub. Except it wasn’t a relationship. Not really.

And maybe he’d gotten into topspace. Playing with her, having her trust him, had gotten him a little high, too. She wasn’t the only one who’d been hit with a ton of adrenaline. Every time he’d touched the wand to the cotton, a thrill had flared through him as well, and he didn’t pretend it would have been that way with any sub. This was his sub, the one who was attuned to his needs and desires, the one who somehow completed him. It was different with the others, and when she was gone he would mourn her all over again, but then he’d always known he would mourn her for the rest of his life.

His body was humming, a healthy lust strumming through his system. Why should he drop her off at the locker room? He’d been honest with her. He’d told her everything that would happen if she got sexual with him again. He’d explained that it wasn’t a relationship and never would be. It was sex, and sex between them had always been fucking incredible.

Charlie was a big girl who knew all the rules. Why should he leave her alone? Why shouldn’t he take this time and enjoy the fuck out of her body?

“Can I talk now?” Charlie asked in a low voice.

“You’re not very good at the whole ‘high protocol’ thing. We’re going to have to work on that.” He carried her past the bar toward the privacy rooms. There were three in Sanctum, each nothing more than a tricked-out bedroom with hooks and eyelets in the walls and ceilings for bondage and suspension play. He would have taken his kit with him, but there was no need. This wasn’t about discipline. It was about getting off. It was about letting his cock have its way.

“I get the feeling you would keep me in high protocol forever if you could.” She cuddled against him, not seeming to care that everyone in the club was watching them.

Ian cared, but there wasn’t a hell of a lot he could do about it. They would watch and gossip. It was a part of life. When he wasn’t on the receiving end, he was usually watching and commenting, so he accepted it. “We get along better when you don’t talk.”

“Caveman.” She slapped lightly at his chest but there was no real intent behind it. “You know you’re kind of a Neanderthal.”

Sometimes he envied the bastards. All they had to do to find a mate was locate a pretty female, knock her over the head and drag her away by the hair. No one thought a thing about it. The cavewoman was then expected to keep a clean cave, spit out some cro-mag babies, and make sure there was a nice sabertooth stew on when the hubby came home. He was betting cavewomen hadn’t run around becoming international information brokers with assassins after them. And they were probably damn fine at high protocol.

“You’re wishing we were cave people, aren’t you?” Charlie asked, a little frown on her face.

She had always been damn good at reading him. “It seems like it was probably a good time to be a man.”

She groaned. Again, not something he would have had to worry about with someone like Amanda. She would have agreed with everything he said and then turned around and made fun of all his female friends. Charlie, on the other hand, defended his female friends and made fun of him. Somehow, he liked Charlie’s way better. Her head came off his chest as she seemed to realize something was wrong. “This doesn’t look like the way to the locker room.”

“You’ve never been here before. How do you know?”

She looked over his shoulder. “I made a quick trip around the place when you dropped me off.”

Well, naturally she wouldn’t stay where he put her. Again, another point for the caveman. Still, he understood what she’d been doing. “How many ways out did you find?”

She would need to know. After so many years of having to survive, Charlie had an ingrained need to know every escape route and possible point of ingress. What Ian had learned from years in the military and CIA, Charlie had learned in childhood.

“Four, but I actually feel pretty safe here. It’s kind of like a fort, isn’t it? There’s the front door, though it’s guarded. Is that bulletproof glass in the doors?”

She had a good eye. “Yes. There are only a couple of windows, but they’re all tinted and bulletproof.” He didn’t need people off the street watching his clients and friends playing. Some of his clients included very high rollers. The CIA might have paid shit, but Sanctum made its money back in droves.

“There’s the back door with the fire escape. You keep that guarded, too. I could get out the window in the storage room,” Charlie said. “But I doubt many people could get in.”

That little tiny thing? “It’s secure, baby. I don’t know that you could get out even if you could get it open.”

“Trust me, I could wiggle out. I’ve gone through smaller places before.” She shivered a little.

“Well, I think our Russian assassins probably won’t try. They would get stuck and they wouldn’t like what I would do to any body part that happened to be inside my building.” It would be fun actually. Like that Winnie the Pooh story Sean had read to Carys, only way more bloody and with Pooh Bear screaming in agony.

“See, I always get scared when you get that look on your face.”

“I was just thinking happy thoughts. What’s the third weak spot?” He was curious. She had a damn better eye for weakness than anyone else he knew.

“The air ducts.”

He breathed a little sigh of relief. He wondered where she’d found a spot high enough to get up and check out the air ducts. “They’re my escape hatch. That’s why they’re so big. They’re locked, too. I had them custom fitted with gates and electronically protected. The guy who built it for me thought I was fuck-all insane. I need to hire an engineer who won’t look at me like I’m crazy. I need a MacGyver, but I worry I would just get another Adam.”

Two of him was too much. Why were all the creative thinkers such smartasses?

“So I’ll say it again. We’re not going to the locker room.” This time when she said it, there was a husky, seductive quality to her voice.

It went straight to his dick. He nodded as he walked past the bouncer who took care of the privacy rooms.

“Number three is open, boss,” the bouncer said.

It was a busy night at Sanctum if he had to go to three. He’d seen Jesse sneaking back with a pretty brunette named Jana, who liked it rough. Ian wasn’t going to mention that to Charlie, though. She’d handled the fact that he’d screwed Amanda pretty well. He wasn’t going to give her a rundown of what every sub in the club liked and didn’t like. “How do you know I’m not tossing you out on your lovely backside?”

Her smile was sure as she glanced up at him. “Because I was a good girl and let you set me on fire. You owe me.”

He did and that was just another reason to let his dick loose. A night of orgasms was one of the ways he liked to balance the equation. The subs gave him what he needed and he gave them what they needed. Oddly enough, most of the time the sex was unsatisfactory for him, a mere biological process.

Maybe that’s the way it would be this time, too. Maybe his brain was making too much of the connection to Charlie. He’d been younger, less wise. Maybe it was just the first time he’d met someone he really sparked with. Charlie was different from anyone he’d ever met. Perhaps memory was playing tricks with him and he’d fuck her and she would be just like the other women in his life.

Good luck with that, buddy. Because this is your dick talking and my memory is way longer than that piece of meat you call your brain. That is my pussy and I can’t wait to get back in it, so you keep right on thinking as long as you fuck her.

Damn, even his dick had an inner monologue. That was Charlie’s fault, too. It was actually a little handy to have someone around he could just blame for everything. Usually he had to spread out the guilt, but Charlie was a one-stop blame shop. Who to blame for his solitary existence? Charlotte Dennis. Why was his left side aching a little? He’d hit a rock when he’d been forced to save Charlie. Why was the price of oil so high? No idea, but he was sure Charlie was somehow behind it.

The door to three was obligingly half open. He was pretty sure the bouncers left them the slightest bit open because most Doms entered with a sub in their arms, and kicking the door open was the most expedient way to get in.

The lights were on a dimmer switch. The whole room was a low amber. He tossed Charlie on the big bed and stared down at her. Her hair looked a fiery red in the low light, her skin a silky pearl. She let the robe fall open, giving him a spectacular view of her breasts.

“Ian, are you going to make love to me?”

Yes, this was why it was so much easier when she wasn’t talking. “Charlie, I thought we already discussed this. No, I am not going to make love to you because I don’t love you. I am willing to fuck you because you did a good job out there.”

Even in the dimness, he could see the way she flushed. “So this is just payback?”

His brain took back over. His dick wanted to lie. His dick wanted to tell her no, baby, this is all about you, wanting to be inside you, needing to take you. But she deserved the truth. “I want you. I won’t lie about that, but it only goes that far. We’re thrown in together until we can fix your problem, but then I do want you out of my life. I know you think you’re good for me, but I consider you responsible for some of the worst events that ever happened to me.”

“I can make up for them, Ian.”

He shook his head. “I don’t think so. But this is your choice. I’ll take you back to the locker room if you would rather go there.”

She got to her knees, shoving the robe off her shoulders and kneeling proudly in front of him. “I’m not willing to give up, Ian.”

There was a piece deep inside him that relaxed. His dick just got harder. His eyes went straight for her bombshell body. Her breasts were a heavenly handful, her waist gracefully flowing into hips he could grip hard while he fucked into her from behind. His brain was starting to shut down, his cock hard and balls already tingling at the thought of shooting off inside her. “Then we both understand what the stakes are.”

“Kiss me, Sir.”

He almost reached for her, almost covered those luscious lips with his own. He wanted to taste her, to remember what it felt like to breathe with her. But he couldn’t. He shook his head shortly. “No. I said no kissing. I meant it. Charlotte, you’re forgetting who’s in charge. I can’t allow that.”

He needed to be in control in the bedroom with her. It was the only way to remember that she wasn’t his wife. She was the woman who had used him and left him behind to pick up her mess.

That plump bottom lip disappeared behind her teeth as she considered what he’d said. “Then may I kiss you? I won’t touch your mouth, Ian. Just let me touch you. You’ll still be in control. You can stop me at any time. I just want to get my hands on you so badly.”

He knew it was a mistake, but his head inclined slightly and that seemed to be all Charlie needed. She moved forward, her hands pushing at the front of his leather vest, drawing it off him. Her body was so close that he could feel the heat pouring off her. Their chests bumped together, her nipples brushing against his flesh as she pulled the vest around his body with one hand. She laid it on the bed and placed her palms on his chest, her eyes closing as if she could feel his heart beating. She might be able to. It was pounding in his body, blood racing to his cock. He wouldn’t be able to think with no blood left in his brain, but he was pretty sure in a minute he wouldn’t give a damn about thinking or making good decisions or anything except getting inside her.

He looked down, watching the place where her breasts touched him. Her nipples were hard little nubs, the usually big areolas at their tightest point. Even with the nipples drawn in, they were still bigger than quarters. He would still have to suck hard to get them fully into his mouth.

A shudder went through him as Charlie put her mouth on his throat, her tongue coming out to trace his Adam’s apple. She ran that hot little tongue all over his neck, stopping to suck and bite gently. His hands went to her hair, burying themselves in her silk.

She trailed down his chest, and he fought to stay still. He closed his eyes, letting her work her magic. This was what other subs didn’t get. They allowed him to service them, but they never tried to give anything back. It wasn’t to say the sex wasn’t good. It was how he preferred it.

Except with her.

He growled a little when she licked at his left nipple. “Bite me, Charlie. Make me feel it.”

He liked a bite of pain, too. Yeah, he didn’t accept it, though, from anyone but her. Years had rolled by and he’d denied himself. He wasn’t willing to do it tonight. Tonight he was going to get what he needed.

She nipped at him, the pain flaring through him, causing another kick of his favorite drug, adrenaline. She moved to the other side of his chest, giving it the same treatment.

He got a good grip on her hair, forcing her head up. “Don’t you hold back on me.”

She bit down harder this time and he hissed. Yeah, that would be there tomorrow, a reminder that his woman was strong enough to mark him. He was thinking dangerous thoughts, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself.

She moved down his body, alternately licking and biting, making his skin come to life.

He tugged on her hair again when she moved to the floor. “Don’t you fucking dare bite me there, baby. You won’t like how I bite back.”

There was that evil little grin that got his heart thudding. Her fingers worked the ties of his leathers, freeing him. She ran her nose along his cock. “I wouldn’t dream of damaging this, Sir. I have plans for it.”

She did seem to as she immediately sucked his cockhead into her mouth. He dragged air into his lungs, fighting to keep control. Sex, when done properly, was pure conflict followed by perfect symmetry. Charlie would see if she could get him to blow. He would fight her on it. He could turn the tables on her and keep her on edge for hours until she was begging him.

When the time was right, he would give in to her pleas, to the siren call of that spot between her legs where he’d found his heaven, and then they would be in perfect tune with each other.

He loved every minute of it.

He gripped her hair, knowing she liked the little sting to her scalp. He could smell her arousal, knew she was tangy and ripe, but he wanted to play for a while. He had her for the night. There was no mad rush. He wanted her begging before he gave her his cock.

Her hands were on his ass, her nails sinking into his flesh. Yeah, he fucking dug that, too.

He forced his cock in deeper. Her tongue whirled around him, encasing his dick in slick heat.

Over and over she rolled across his cock, taking him to the edge of his control. He pulled her back, his cock hard and ready to shoot off. But he wasn’t playing that way this evening.

“On the bed. Spread your legs.” He wanted to taste her again, to relearn how soft she was, how her cream coated his tongue.

Charlie scrambled up, her breath hitching as she moved on the bedding. The dark color of the bedspread contrasted with her skin, making her damn near glow. She was so angelic, but he loved the devil that came out when they played. She spread her legs wide, with no self-consciousness, only a deep, obvious willingness to be pleasured.

He took her ankles in his hands. Despite the fact that Charlie wasn’t a tiny thing, compared to him she was practically petite. He loved the way he could circle her ankle and make a fist around it. He could master her, but it took more than mere strength to get Charlie to open up. It took trust and pleasure.

She didn’t fight him when he pushed her feet up, bending her legs at the knees and making a place for himself there. She simply allowed him to move her where he wanted.

Damn but he liked the laser thing. He covered her pussy with his palm, enjoying the silky smooth feel of the skin. Though he would have preferred to select the technician, to make sure it was safe, he couldn’t argue with the outcome.

He knew there was something wrong with that line of thought, but he didn’t really care. His knees hit the floor and he dragged her until her ass was at the edge of the bed, her pussy right in front of his face.

So pretty. It was a flower that opened only for him. The petals were soft and moist. It was an edible flower and like all flowers, it needed love and affection. And a really good tonguing.

“You’re killing me, Ian. Can’t you just get on with it?” Charlie asked.

He lightly slapped at her clit. “Hush. I’m looking at my pussy. This pussy is mine for tonight, and I’ll do exactly what I want to do with it. If I want to sit here and stare at it, I will.”

Because he liked to look at it. He especially liked how pink and puffy her labia was, glistening from her arousal. He barely stroked a finger across it, but Charlie nearly jumped.

Keeping her on edge was fun. It was so much easier to hold himself back when he knew just how much it was killing her.

Sometimes he was a dick, but he was perfectly comfortable with that. He nosed her pussy, letting her scent fill his senses. “Was there something you wanted, baby?”

She whimpered, a sound that would have gotten him hard if he couldn’t already pound nails. “You know what I want.”

He reached up, sliding his fingers through her labia up to the little jewel of her clit. That pearl was practically throbbing, but he wasn’t ready to let her off the hook just yet. No way. He pinched her, a nasty little tweak to her pink parts. Charlie’s body damn near came off the bed.

“Oh, god,” she screamed out, a fresh pulse of arousal coating her flesh.

“That’s not the way to ask for it, love.”

Her legs stayed where he’d put them, but she was shaking. “Please, Ian.”

Another hard twist. “What did you call me?”

“Sir. Oh, please, please, Sir.”

“Master in the bedroom, Charlie. Only here.” He wanted to hear the word from her lips. He’d never been anyone else’s Master. Only Sir because he’d never collared another female. Never even wanted to. He would hear his title from her when they were alone and he was inside her.

She sighed, as though his words had given her the pleasure she was seeking. “Master. My Master. Please, please kiss my pussy.”

He placed a very chaste peck right over her clit. “There you go.”

Her head was up, her eyes narrowing. “Damn it, Ian, you know that isn’t what I meant.”

He flipped her over, neatly displacing her so her backside was available to him. He didn’t give a shit how pink it was. If she didn’t stop cursing him, it was going to be red. He laid five quick, hard slaps to the fleshiest part of her ass before flipping her back over. “Do you want me to clamp you?”

He could tie her down and force clamps on her breasts, little alligator clamps to bite down on those pretty nipples. He could place a clit clamp on her, too. He’d seen one with a little bell attached and then he would just keep her naked and he’d always know exactly where she was.

He wondered briefly if there was a piercing with a bell on it. Harder to remove. Maybe if he’d had her pierced before he wouldn’t have lost her the first time. He would have just followed the sound of her jingling clit.

“Master, I promise I’ll be so good. Please don’t do whatever you’re thinking about right now.” Charlie’s eyes had gone wide.

He shoved her legs open again, spreading his palms across her soft thighs. “If you don’t stop misbehaving, you’re in for a very long night. I had planned to fuck you a couple of times, but if you prefer, we can spend that time on discipline instead. You seem to need it.”

Her head shook. “No, Master. No, please. I promise to be a very proper sub for the rest of the night.”

He let his mouth hover right over her pussy, giving her his heat, letting her feel the vibration of his words. “You couldn’t behave properly to save your life, pet.”

Thank god for that. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have the pleasure of disciplining her.

“Please, Master.” Her voice was breathless, her skin flushed to a lovely shade of pink. “Please lick me. Please play with me. Please do whatever you desire. I’m yours.”

She was his toy, his sweet little fuck toy. He could do anything he wanted with her, and he was pretty fucking sure he was the only one to really play with this particular toy. Pretty sure. “Tell me again how many men you’ve had since me. I want the truth, Charlie.”

“None. Not a single one, Master. I don’t blame you. You didn’t know I was alive, but I knew damn well you were. I know who I belong to. I’ve known it for years. All this time, I’ve tried to follow your rules.”

“Tried?” He let his nose play through her labia. He wouldn’t mind waking up every morning and running his nose through her pussy so he could smell her all day.

“Yes, Master. I tried, but I masturbated a few times. I couldn’t stop myself. I would get too lonely and I would think of you and I would touch myself. I pretended it was you.”

He thought about her lying in bed in the dark, her fingers working in and out of her cunt, her little thumb rubbing against her clit. “Show me.”

Reaching up, he grasped her left hand, pulling it down her body to cover her pussy.

Her fingers slid through the juice there, two slipping inside past her labia, the heel of her palm against her clit.

He watched as she moved against her hand, fascinated by the way her fingers drove deep and pulled back.

“Don’t come yet.”

She whimpered again but didn’t argue with him. She kept up the pace, fucking herself with her fingers, her hips rocking with a sweet rhythm.

When he was sure she couldn’t take another second, he gripped her hand, pulling it out of her cunt and to his mouth. He sucked those fingers inside. His tongue slid around gathering every bit of cream he could find. She tasted so fucking good. He’d never forgotten that taste, never lost the sweetness of it in his mind. Yeah, this part hadn’t been a false memory. None of it had been false. He only ever felt this alive when he was with her.

He laid her hand back down. “Work your little clit, baby. I’ll take care of the rest.”

“Please come inside me, Master.” She was staring at him, her eyes wide as she offered herself to him.

This seemed to be a new Charlotte, a more open Charlie. The Charlie he’d always known was right beneath her surface.

He spread her labia with his fingers and let one forage into her pussy.

He worked one finger in, massaging her flesh. He cupped her pussy, gently fucking in and out, opening her up. He added a second finger as she relaxed and she started moving in time with his fingers. This was the one place they were always in sync.

“You have my permission. Come all over my hand. Let me hear you.” He curled his fingers up, searching for that sweet spot that always got her screaming. She was panting, not holding back. She fucked his fingers with the vigor of a woman long denied.

“Yes, Master. Oh, it feels so good.” She thrust down, shoving his fingers in deep as she worked her clit.

“Take your hand away.” He wanted to be the only thing making her come. The minute she removed her hand, he leaned over and sucked her clit into his mouth, her unique flavor filling him.

Charlie screamed, and he felt her muscles clamping down on him as she came, juices flowing all around him.

He licked her clit as she came down and then removed his hand, finally giving himself permission to do what he’d wanted to do from the moment the door had closed behind them. He shoved his tongue up her pussy and started to make a meal of her. He licked and sucked and ate his fill.

And wondered if this was a meal he just couldn’t get enough of.

* * * *

Charlie bit back another cry as Ian’s tongue foraged deep inside her. So long. She’d waited so long to feel him again that this was almost a sensory overload. It was almost too much to handle, but she forced herself to lie still, to give her sweet Master everything he wanted.

He sucked at her labia, pulling first one side into his mouth and then the other before plunging deep again. His tongue seemed to dance inside her, touching her in places that hadn’t been alive since the last time he’d made love to her.

And it was love. He could fight it all he wanted, but there was no way this feeling wasn’t love. It was a magnificent obsession and it was the best sex ever, but it was both of those things because it was grounded in love.

The orgasm she’d just had was still thrumming through her when another started to build. Her Master seemed interested in reminding her just how well her body responded to him.

Over and over again, he tongue fucked her, spearing her in long drives before moving up to suckle her clit. When he opened his mouth, he could cover her whole pussy as though the Big Bad Wolf had come to make a feast of her. She started to shake and moan when he suddenly sat up.

“No more coming, baby. Not until I’m inside you. Now stay that way. Don’t you move or I’ll spank you again.” He stood up.

She’d been so close and now she was cold. She was spread out for him, but the chill in the air was just another sensation to be had, one that would go away the minute he covered her again.

Ian shoved his leathers down and off, kicking his boots from his feet at the same time. His magnificent cock came into view. She’d never seen one bigger, might run if she did because he could do some damage with that massive weapon.

He stared down at her. The light from the seemingly hidden source cast him in harsh relief, making his features harder, more masculine. He was all male, and she would never completely understand what drove him. She would never be able to fathom exactly why he’d chosen her, why she was the one who could take that masculinity and soften it just enough that he wasn’t always alone. She couldn’t understand it, but she would fight for her rights. She was his natural mate. She’d known it from the moment he’d taken her.

That had been the first night she’d been complete. She’d been more than just Charlotte Denisovitch, victim and pawn. She’d been whole and real and someone new and shiny.

That moment couldn’t have been lost forever.

It couldn’t have been something he hadn’t shared with her. But it did seem to be something he feared sharing again.

“Is something wrong, Master?” She kept her voice quiet, free from emotion. “Did I move? Should I present my poor backside again?”

A little smile curled his lips up. Yes, that was what she needed. “No, Charlie, for once, you’re behaving. Was it hard not to come?”

Ah, the dirty talk. He craved it. He loved to force her to say dirty stuff. “Yes, Master.”

He stroked his cock but made no move to cover her. He just stared down, but there was a slightly softer look on his face now. “Why was it so hard? Tell me about it.”

Because he wanted to hear just how good he was. Vain man. “Because your fingers felt so good. They were big inside me, but not anywhere as big as that cock of yours.”

“All these years, you just jacked off thinking about me?” There was a challenge in that question, but it was one she could match.

“I don’t think I would call it jacking off. I think that’s more a male thing. I masturbated thinking about you. I tried to hold off, but the dreams would get to me. I would dream and you would be there, touching me, holding me down and having your way with me. You would take me any way you wanted, anywhere you wanted, and I was helpless to do anything to stop you.”

Yeah, that was doing something for him. If it was possible, she thought his cock hardened further. “Because I tied you down?”

“Because I wanted you so badly I would do anything to have you, Master. Anything to please you.”

“Would you?”

“Yes.” She hadn’t worked her ass off for five years, dodging bullets along the way, to deny him sexually. “Anything you want, my Master.”

She could make him the promise because she trusted the man with her life. He’d never brought her any pain that hadn’t enhanced her pleasure. He’d never taken her to any place but pure paradise when it came to making love.

“I’m clean, Charlie. I just had a physical.”

He was really going to fuck her. God, how long had she waited? “I’m perfectly clean, too. No sex since you. I swear my fingers don’t have any STDs. I thought about buying a vibrator once, but I figured you might object.”

She’d found one online that was just shy of his size. She’d planned on calling it Ian, but she’d been a little afraid she might end up being way too attached to an object.

“No one is using a vibrator on you but me,” he said, proving her first instinct right. “I mean it. While I’m topping you, I control the orgasms. If I catch you playing with a pocket rocket, you won’t come for a very long time. Now, pay attention. Are you on birth control?” The question came out of his mouth in a low growl.

It was right there on the tip of her tongue to tell him yes. She’d meant to start, but a million things had to be taken care of and she’d let that little detail slip away. She’d needed time to recuperate from her gunshot wound and then she didn’t want to waste another minute before she got back to Ian. And there had been a little notion in the back of her head that everything might go better than expected and he might not want her on birth control. It had been a stupid idea, but it now left her with a choice.

She could tell him yes and he would take her without anything between them. When she’d come to him the first time, she’d known she would sleep with him, known that was her job. Before the op, she’d taken a shot promised to protect her from pregnancy for three months. He would believe her. He would think she just stayed on it all the time. If she got pregnant, he couldn’t leave her behind. He would have to keep her. A child could bind them together, could make it impossible for them to really be apart.

“I’m not, Master. You should wear a condom.” She couldn’t lie to him. Not ever again. She owed him, and she wouldn’t keep him with another set of lies.

He cursed and walked to the small wardrobe against the side of the west wall. He drew it open, revealing that there weren’t clothes in this particular closet. There were boxes of toys and restraints, bottles of lube and rows of condoms. He tore one free and sheathed his dick, grabbing a bottle of lube before closing the door again.

“If we’re together for any amount of time, I want you on birth control, Charlie. I won’t take any chances.” He lubed up his cock, his hand running along it in long, hard passes.

He wouldn’t take the chance that she would get pregnant. The words shouldn’t hurt. She knew it was utterly stupid to get pregnant at this point. There were way too many problems, but hearing him reject the idea made her ache. She hadn’t told him that when she dreamed, yes, she dreamed of him inside her, but she also dreamed about cuddling up to him, their baby in his arms. She dreamed of a life with him.

“Anything I want, Charlie?” The challenge was back in his voice, in his arrogant stance.

“Yes, Master.”

“On all fours.” He indicated that she should stay on the bed.

Charlie flipped over, doing his bidding and getting to her hands and knees. He could control the penetration better this way. It was a little lie she told herself. She felt the bed move as he placed himself behind her. A long sigh came out of his mouth, and his hands ran along her spine down to her backside.

“God, you have the most beautiful ass, baby.” He cupped her, groaning his appreciation before letting his hands slide up to touch her dangling breasts. “And these. These are beautiful tits.”

She hated them sometimes. They were too big to fit into the pretty designer clothes women loved to wear, but when Ian looked at her and praised them, she couldn’t help but feel sexy. He’d given her a confidence she never wanted to lose. “They’re yours, Master. All yours. Would you like to fuck them?”

She knew exactly what dirty talk did to him.

“God, you’re going to kill me,” he whispered and then he was gone, rearing back to his knees. “Look up. Watch us in the mirror.”

She turned her head and sure enough, the south wall was mirrored from floor to ceiling. Ian’s big body loomed behind and over hers. He gripped her hips, pulling her closer to him so that her ass was right against his hips, and she couldn’t tell where she ended and he began.

“You watch and tell me that I don’t have the most beautiful, fuckable sub in this club.” He leaned back, taking his cock in hand and placing it at her entrance. The broad head started to breach her, and she gasped at the sensation. He was so fucking big and it had been so long. Pressure built as he pressed his way in.

She watched in the mirror as he started to work his dick inside her, thrusting carefully in small motions. She could see the toll it took on him. His face was in a tight line, his every movement a testament to discipline. Over and over he foraged in, gaining ground before retreating to start again.

Charlie relaxed, giving him everything. He was so careful with her, but she prayed that soon he would let go. She could handle it. She wanted his passion.

“Fuck, you’re so tight, baby.” His skin flushed with the effort of holding back.

“You feel so good, Master.” She wiggled her ass a little, letting him know she could handle more.

His hands gripped her hips. “You want it, don’t you? You don’t want me to play around. You don’t care how tight you are. You want some cock, don’t you, baby? You need a big stiff cock inside you.”

“Yes.” She was practicing his favorite word tonight.

He slapped at her ass. “Whose cock do you need?”

“Yours, Master. I only need yours.” She only wanted his. In her whole life, she’d only really wanted one man.

“Then I’ll give it to you. Don’t you dare keep your mouth shut now. You tell me if it hurts. You tell me if it feels good.” He surged in.

Pressure and tension flooded her system. She was so damn full. He was everywhere, pressing inside until she’d taken him to the root, and she wouldn’t have it any other way. “I’m fine, Ian.”

“That’s not what I want to hear.” One hand found its way around her hip, settling over her clit, his finger pressing down. He started making little circles. “I’m not moving again until you’re better than fine.”

He was pulsing inside her. She could feel how close to the edge he was, but he still held off because he wouldn’t hurt her. Not physically.

Rubbing her clit, his hips held against her ass, Charlie watched him in the mirror. His face was so serious, his mouth turned down as he settled in to his task. He was so beautiful in the amber light that she wanted nothing more than to turn around so she could see his face, but she only had the mirror to watch him in.

A little gasp tore from her throat as pleasure started to crowd out the tension.

“Ian, Master, please,” she begged. She needed him to move. She needed to feel him sliding deep inside her. The connection had been missing for so long. She couldn’t go another moment without it.

He pulled on her hips, forcing himself in and then moving back out, a slow drag over her flesh. “This is definitely going to please your Master.”

Charlie watched in the mirror as Ian’s head fell back and he plunged deep, fucking her like she wanted to be taken, hard and rough and so possessive she could barely stand it. When he fucked her, she was the only woman in the world. Ian’s hips rocked back and forth, his cock diving deep each time.

She moved in time with him, finding a perfect rhythm. Her breasts bounced, her hair going wild, but she was lost in the feeling. He thrust in and out, deep and hard, finding her sweet spot and dragging his cock over it again and again until the pleasure rocked through her system and she shouted out his name as she came.

“Ian!” Her hands curled into the bedspread because his thrusts were so powerful he could push her off the bed if she didn’t hold her own.

Hearing his name seemed to break something in him. He threw an arm around her waist and hoisted her up so her back covered his front, his face in her hair. “Say it again. Tell me who you belong to, sub.”

He forced her knees even wider and fucked her from behind, his cock never losing the beat.

“You. I belong to you. I belong to Ian.” It was nothing less than the truth. She wanted his cock, his collar, his ring, his future.

“Damn fucking straight.” He surged into her, one arm around her waist, the other cupping her breast as he shook against her. He held her tight, his cock pumping out his orgasm as he shuddered against her. His cheek moved against hers. She could feel the heat of his mouth on her face, sweet little kisses on her cheek. Just for the briefest of moments she thought he would fuse their mouths together. She turned her face up, wanting that connection again. Even as pleasure thrummed through her body, she needed more of him.

He let go and moved away from her.

Charlie dropped to her stomach, the soft bedding catching her fall as Ian hopped off the bed. He got up, stretching and shaking his head like he was clearing it from something.

She tried to catch her breath. “Ian, what’s wrong?”

She watched him in the mirror, her heart falling. All that passion he’d offered her moments before was gone.

His face was expressionless as he peeled the condom off, tying it neatly. “You need to get to the locker room, shower, and get dressed. We’re meeting Alex and Eve in forty-five minutes. Make sure your sister is ready, too.”

She turned, pushing herself up. “Ian?”

“You need to hurry. I don’t want it to get too late before we head back to my place. Apparently we have to drive by Alex’s new house because the contractors fucked something up. That’s what he gets for hiring the lowest bidder. I told him, but he never listens to me. So get moving.” He started toward what looked to be a small bathroom.

He was talking like it was perfectly normal to fuck a girl silly and then complain about his best friend’s hiring practices. He was behaving like absolutely nothing amazing had just happened. Now she was cold again.

She pulled at the robe she’d tossed aside. “Ian, what’s wrong? Shouldn’t we talk about it?”

She tried not to, but her eyes were filling with tears.

“Nothing’s wrong, Charlie, and there’s absolutely nothing to talk about. I’m just done with sex, and I have things I have to do tonight. Unfortunately you’re tied to me right now so you have things to do, too. Where I go, you go, so get a move on.” He walked into the bathroom.

“Why are you being so cold?” It didn’t compute. She couldn’t wrap her mind around it. He’d been so hot just seconds before. She’d been right there with him. Their bodies had been pressed together, and she would have sworn he felt everything she did. He’d held her so tight, like she was the most precious thing in the world and he couldn’t let her go. It had been like those five years between them melted away and they were back together, back when they were just discovering each other.

He stepped back out, his hands on those sculpted hips. “I’m not being cold, Charlie. I’m done. This is how I am after I’m done with sex. I told you you wouldn’t like it. This is how it is now. You said you didn’t care so I took you at your word.”

“I don’t understand.” She pushed her hair back, looking up at him.

“You don’t understand what, baby? That a guy can say and do things he doesn’t really mean when he’s trying to get his dick in you? I kind of thought you were more worldly than that.”

She wasn’t stupid. She knew that. She just didn’t expect it from him. He’d always been her safe place. “So it was just sex.”

He sighed. “Yeah, I think I told you that. I also mentioned that it would be my way, all my way, or we wouldn’t be anything at all. So you can go to the locker room and follow my instructions or we can be done. I’ll shower here. I’ll meet you in the lobby.”

She sat there, trying to process the words. She’d been so sure. She’d known that once they’d made love again, he would know. He would know that she was his wife and everything would be fine as long as they were together.

The world was a watery mess, and she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror.

Her hair was messed up, her body so much bigger than what she saw in her head. It was one of those times when she knew she had to make a decision to be all right with herself, but she just couldn’t when he was staring at her like she was a piece of meat. He’d told her she was hot, fuckable, but she sure didn’t look that way now. Of course, he’d also admitted that he would lie to get between her legs. Just like other guys.

“I told you how it would be,” he said softly. But the cold look was still in his eyes.

She pulled the robe on, closing it tightly around herself. “Yes, you did.”

He’d been far more honest than she’d been when they first met. And if he was treating her like a piece of meat it was because she’d offered herself up like one. She’d been so desperate to get back to the one place she’d been happy.

What if that had been an illusion?

He stood staring at her as she started for the door. He didn’t move to open it for her. She was sure he wouldn’t stop it from hitting her on the ass as she left either.

Had he been an illusion, too? For years he’d been her ideal man. It wasn’t that she really thought he was perfect. It was just that she loved his imperfections, too. He’d been the first man to treat her with any kindness, the first to bring her pleasure of any kind. He’d told her she was pretty and smart and she’d taken that as love.

“Charlie?”

She sniffled, not willing to face him. “Do you think any of it was real?”

He was silent.

She walked out the door. He’d given her his answer.

Now she had to find her own.