Love and Let Die

Chapter Fourteen

A savage need flooded Ian’s system. To take her. To brand her. To ensure that she never looked at another man. He could keep her so satisfied that she couldn’t open her eyes to look at one.

It pounded through his veins and nothing else mattered. Something had switched on inside him when he’d realized what she was trying to do. She’d tried to offer herself up, to give herself away because the guilt was too much for her to bear.

And he remembered her body cold and dead in his arms.

She was fucking alive now and he was going to make sure it never happened again.

They were all his responsibility. Sean and Grace and Carys. Jake and Adam and Liam and their wives. Alex and Eve. Even Simon and Jesse were his responsibility now. He had to ensure their safety.

But she was his. Only his. He didn’t have to share her with anyone, not if he chose to keep her. His submissive. His wife.

He wanted a piece of her no one had ever had before.

“Take off your clothes.” At least he’d turned off the cameras in his office this time. Not that it would stop him now. He needed to burn off the knot in his gut. He needed to take all his guilt and the resounding fear that he was going to fail them all and burn it away in her body.

She pulled at her shirt, fumbling a little as she tossed it away. He hadn’t even gotten her clothes from her place. He’d forced her to wear what she’d worn yesterday. He wasn’t taking care of her the way he should. He had to shove his anger down and take care of her because she belonged to him and he was starting to think that he couldn’t change that. He was fooling himself if he thought he could fuck her out of his soul, but right now he meant to try.

While she worked on her clothes, he walked to the small closet at the back of his office. He kept extras there. Extra guns. Extra ammo. Bulletproof vest. The tiniest bit of C-4. And an extra kit complete with lube and a still-packaged anal plug.

Just the basics. What every man needed to survive the apocalypse. Grace had been horrified, but Ian liked to be prepared.

He pulled out the kit and laid it on the coffee table in the sitting portion of his office. He wasn’t sure why he needed a fucking sitting room, but the couch had come in handy when he needed a nap. It also looked to be just the right height for what he wanted to do.

He glanced over and Charlie was naked, her gorgeous body flush with desire. Her eyes had already taken on the sleepy look he associated with her subspace. She subbed so fast, sometimes even without a single slap of his hand. Sometimes all she needed was a deepening of his voice as though the minute he opened the door, she fled inside and tried to lock herself away from the rest of the world.

“Is that how you start a session?” He wouldn’t call it what it was. It was lovemaking. It was need. It was the very air he breathed.

She dropped to her knees, her head falling forward, strawberry hair caressing her breasts and shoulders like a canopy concealing her secrets. He loved her hair. It didn’t matter what color it was as long as there was a lot of it. As long as he woke up covered in the stuff, a web he’d been caught in and didn’t want to get out of.

Her hands were placed on her thighs, palms up as he’d taught her. She didn’t make him ask twice about the placement of her knees. They were wide open, her pussy on display and he could already tell his sub was getting hot. Her pussy was a pearly pink, her nipples tight.

She was waiting for him. Calm and patient. Trusting.

Fuck. He couldn’t do what he wanted to do. He was too fucking big. He would hurt her. He’d never thought he would rue his big cock, but the day was here. A tightness formed in his chest. “Get dressed, Charlotte. I have to get you some clothes before we leave here.”

His cock was screaming at him, promising him it would be very good and patient if he would only give it a chance at fucking that sweet little asshole.

His cock was shit out of luck.

Charlie’s head came up, the sleepy look vanishing and in its place a near panic. “What did I do wrong?”

He held on to his temper. He wanted to roar and scream and fuck her anyway, but she was his. His. He couldn’t hurt her any more than he already had. Revenge had sucked when it came to Charlie. His words came out on a shaky breath as he tried to calm his cock. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I never take a lover without preparing her first. I could hurt you. You remember when we were married, I was training you then. That’s why I made you wear the plug every day.”

She flushed again. “Ian, what I am about to tell you might sound weird and creepy at first, but I want you to remember that you gave me orders and even though you thought I was dead, I knew I was married and had a Master and I wanted to be an obedient sub.”

What the hell was she trying to say? “You’re rarely obedient, Charlie. I suppose I should have written it into a contract that you weren’t allowed to fake your own death or start up a criminal enterprise that would have three countries after your head.”

“Sometimes I just need guidelines, Master.” Her eyes came up, wide and innocent. God, he loved watching those eyes widen when he worked his cock in. It was one more thing he hadn’t liked about fucking her in the club. He wanted to be face to face. He wanted to watch her up close, see every expression as he took her.

“Your guidelines are to go and get ready. We’ve got a long flight ahead of us.” At least twenty-four hours where his cock would be in hell.

“But I followed your instructions,” she said quickly.

He stared at her, trying to understand. And yes, he thought it was weird. And kind of hot if he was right about what she was saying. “You plugged yourself?”

She flushed, though now he could have sworn there was embarrassment in there. Her eyes found the floor. “Yes. Not every day, but at least once a week. Usually more. You told me to. I found comfort in following your directions. I know the vanilla world would think it perverse, but I pretended it was you.”

She was completely and utterly fuck-all crazy. She’d plugged herself for five years? It was ridiculous. His cock was jumping in his jeans again.

“Back in position and stay there.” He walked out of his office and down the hall, not giving a shit that he was carrying an extra-large butt plug and a container of toy cleaner in his hands. The world was falling apart around him, but it didn’t matter because he had a toy to clean. All that mattered was getting ready because one way or another, he was going to find out if she was lying.

He stalked into the bathroom, his brain buzzing. She could be lying again. It could be her way of covering up the fact that she’d had a bunch of men in every way.

Or she could be telling the truth and she was a faithful wife for years, finding comfort in even the oddest of his rituals. His heart clenched a little at the thought of her trying to plug herself for the first time. She would have felt awkward and alone. It was a game between lovers, but she’d been on the run and by herself. Had she done it in the dark? The way he yanked his own dick and thought about her?

He knew he should back off. He should send her into hiding. He should separate her from the others and task Simon with making sure she stayed alive.

And he wasn’t going to do it because he couldn’t stand the thought of her not being with him. Now that he’d seen her again, touched her, fucked her, the idea of Charlie being out of his sight, his control, was unacceptable.

He cleaned the plug, dried it off and then turned to go back to the office where she would be waiting. She would be in position, waiting for him. It made him a bastard, caveman pig but he liked knowing she wasn’t thinking about anything but him, but what he was going to do to her, with her.

Damon Knight was walking down the hall, his big body taking up most of the space. They couldn’t actually get through the hall without brushing against each other because they were so broad. He should have thought about extra-large halls since he seemed to only hire or work with men built like Mack trucks. “Excellent, I was just looking for you. The jet will be ready at four. I’ve been informed that we have to take an extra passenger along.”

“Ten.” He’d known the minute he made that deal that the Agency would want an observer. It was a testament to Ian’s stubbornness that Ten wasn’t taking over the game.

“Yes. We’ve been given leave to support you in any fashion you choose. You have influential friends, mate.”

He’d done favors for a lot of powerful men. And now he owed a few more. “I’m going to kill Nelson.”

“I’m going to look the other way when you do. I’m perfectly certain it will be in self-defense.” Thank god it was Damon they had sent and not someone else. He mostly trusted Damon. He just didn’t know his partner well enough. “So we’ll refuel in Frankfurt and then Mumbai and we should be in Goa in roughly twenty-four hours. That’s as fast as we can get there. Do you know you’re carrying around an anal plug? Is this how you deal with office discipline?”

He started back to his office, not bothering to look back. “It’s how I deal with my sub. If anyone asks, I’m unavailable until we’re ready to head to the airport, and tell Adam he better have our papers ready or I’ll use this on him.”

He walked back through his door and there she was, a vision of submission waiting for him. God, he should be prepping for the operation, but all he wanted to do was lose himself in her. He wanted to lock the office door and never come out. For the first time, he thought seriously about running with her. He knew how to hide. No one would find them. They could be anonymous. They could give up everything and just find an island and never leave it.

And never see his brother again. Never know how Carys would look as a sassy teenager giving Sean hell. Never have kids of his own because they would be a weakness.

Life had been so much easier before she’d walked back in, but he knew in a moment that he didn’t want easy.

“Show me.” He stood in front of her, his cock twitching insistently, but he wanted to see it.

She nodded slightly, taking the plug in her hand. “I need some lube. I always use lube.”

As she should. He passed it to her, forcing his hand not to find her hair. When he was in a room with her, it was hard not to touch her, and when he wasn’t in a room with her, it was hard not to find whatever room she was in and be there, too.

She very carefully lubed up the plug. He’d picked the one that was just shy of being his size, but she didn’t seem intimidated by it. She simply ran her hands over it, covering the hard plastic plug generously.

There was no hesitation, no worry in her movement. It seemed almost like a loving ritual, one she’d performed often.

He’d told her he would spend weeks preparing her for anal sex. He’d explained that she would have to wear the plug regularly to stretch her so he didn’t hurt her.

Had she really spent five fucking years preparing herself for him?

“May I move to the couch, Master? I usually do this on a bed."

He didn’t correct her anymore. He was her Master. He always had been. He’d never allowed anyone to call him that on a personal basis. He was Master Ian at Sanctum, but Sir when playing. Because as much as she belonged to him, he knew in his heart that he belonged to her. Forever.

He just wasn’t sure it could work. “Yes. Do what you always do. I want to watch.”

She rose, grace in her every movement. She’d only started to practice when she’d left him, but her ease now spoke of years of rising from the submissive position, years of lowering herself down. She was a well-trained sub.

Had she done that herself? Had she done all of it while thinking of him, planning to come home to him?

Had this woman truly ached for him the way he’d ached for her?

He watched, his cock throbbing as she knelt on the couch, her backside to him. She spread her knees wide and allowed her torso to lay flat so that her ass was in the air, stretched by the position of her knees. She gave him the most delicious view of her asshole, all rosy and pink. Her hand held the plug, moving from underneath to place the flesh colored plug right against that gorgeous hole. Her rosette was tight, small. It didn’t look for a second like it could handle the monster she’d placed against it.

Her back was supple, all her muscles relaxed. She let out a long sigh as she pressed the plug to her ass, twisted it, opening the right side first so she could slip the plug in.

One smooth move and she was plugged, only the flat base in sight.

Other women might offer him a home-cooked meal or ask to hold his hand as a romantic gesture, but his wife understood him.

She plugged herself like a pro, and it was the most fucking romantic thing he’d ever seen.

He moved forward, placing a hand on that gloriously round ass, loving the little mewling sigh that came from her throat the minute he touched her. “How long do you usually keep it in?”

“I like to sleep with it.”

She didn’t say anything more, but he heard everything she didn’t say. She slept with it because it was like sleeping with him buried deep inside her. Because in those moments, she could close her eyes and pretend he was still with her.

God, he wanted to believe her. He wanted it more than anything in his life.

He lightly touched the base of the plug. Her muscles contracted around it, a pleasure reflex. “Do you like it?”

“I didn’t at first. It was weird. I did it because you wanted me to. I thought it would be something I would endure because it would bring you pleasure.”

“And now?”

“I dream about it, Master. I dream about you fucking my asshole and taking what’s yours.”

She was going to make him come with nothing but sweet words.

There was no question about it. He could fuck her and she would love it. He would love it.

All he had to do was take out that plug and shove his cock in. He could get off fast and then maybe he would be able to think. He could take what he needed and retreat again.

“Turn over.” He couldn’t handle using her the way he had before. He might not know what to do with her outside of the bedroom, but he was going to be her true Master in it. A Master took care of his sub first.

She carefully lowered herself to the couch and rolled over. Her eyes stared up at him warily. Did she think he would dismiss her now? Maybe laugh at her for years of service?

“Thank you, love.” He picked up her right foot, bringing it to his lips and kissing her toes. They were ticklish. He could torture her for hours by playing with her feet. What he’d never told her was he hadn’t done it because he wanted to punish her. He just loved to hear her laugh.

“You don’t think it’s weird?”

He bit gently at her toes and she practically jumped. “I think it’s entirely weird, and you’re the most perverted woman I’ve ever met. Lucky for you I have a thing for perverts.”

“Ian, don’t.” She tried to wiggle her foot away.

He tightened his grip. “You don’t tell me what to do when we’re in the bedroom.”

She whimpered a little. “You know I hate that, Master.”

“But I love it.” Most subs hated the whip or being caned, but not his Charlie. She hated having her feet tickled. Unfortunately for her, he loved to do it.

He ran his tongue over the soul of her foot.

Charlie let out a strangled scream, squirming on the couch, and then he heard it, that low, gorgeous sound. It rang through the whole room and made his soul feel lighter. Yes, he was going to take her. He was going to fill her with his come until she couldn’t see straight, but god, he loved her laugh.

“Oh, my love, is it hard to keep that plug in while you’re laughing?” The worries he had were floating away. This was what he needed. Whatever happened hours from now could happen, but in this moment he was safe and happy and making his sub laugh.

Her face was pink, her smile wide as she glared up at him, a ridiculously stubborn look in her eyes. “I can keep this plug in all day long. Do your worst, Master.”

He picked up her other foot, adoring how he circled her ankle with his hand. She wasn’t petite, his wife, but he could top her easily. He put all five of her toes into his mouth, scraping his teeth along her sole.

“Oh, god!” She was lost to a fit of giggles. Her whole body shook, her breasts bouncing beautifully, her hips swaying. “You’re a sadist.”

He put her feet against both his cheeks, admiring her perfect pussy. “I’m not a sadist.”

Her mouth came open as he ran his nose from her heel to her toes. “Evil. You certainly are. You love to make me scream. You love to whip my ass and torture me.”

And she loved the way he did it. But she didn’t exactly understand him—or herself. “It’s not sadism if the partner loves the pain, pet. Sadists want to hurt their partners. You love what I do to you.”

Her hands came up, a brilliant smile crossing her face as she laughed. “Yes, I do. I do, but if you’re not a sadist, what do you call yourself?”

He knew exactly who he was when he was with her. It got cloudy, uncertain, when she was gone, but, oh, when she was close, he knew who he was. “I’m the man who gives you what you need.”

He dropped her feet, making sure they were spread wide. He wasn’t going to turn her over. No. He wanted to look into her eyes, to see her as he loved her, to take her fully and without restraint. He wasn’t going to pull that bullshit “pushing her away” crap afterward. He was going to sink into her and take what he needed and give her something back. He couldn’t promise her anything past this moment, but he would be here with her in the now.

He got onto the couch with her, shifting her so he could move with her body. She gasped a little as he shoved her to the opposite side of the couch, the crown of her head hitting the arm. “Sorry, love.”

“What are you going to do?” Her voice was sultry, her legs spread wide. She didn’t care about anything but the fact that he was here with her, and that made his heart swell.

“I’m going to give you what you need.” He lowered his mouth down, the heat of her pussy damn near killing him.

He placed a soft kiss on her clitoris, breathing in her scent. She’d managed to calm him, to take away his violent tendencies. Her submission had quelled his need to go fast and hard, softening him to the point that he could take his time with her. He pulled her labial lips apart and sucked each one inside his mouth as she gasped and moaned. He ate her pussy, her tangy taste filling his mouth and sharpening his senses until all he wanted and needed was to be surrounded by her.

Her little asshole was clutching the plug like a favorite toy it wasn’t going to give up. He spread her knees wide, but she didn’t let the plug slip.

His sweet sub deserved a treat before he took his prize. He laid the flat of his thumb right on her clit, pressing down with firm intent. He speared her with his tongue, fucking her in long passes as he rubbed the pearl of her clit.

She went off like a rocket. Cream coated his tongue as she screamed out his name and clamped down around him.

She was still shaking as he got to his knees and tore at the opening of his jeans. He’d given her everything she needed. It was his turn. His cock sprang free, and he pulled the plug from her ass, watching her rosette clench around it.

Fuck, that was about to be his dick.

“Let me turn over.” She reached up, caressing his chest, her words lazy and satiated.

“No.” He tossed the plug away and briefly wondered if the janitorial staff would quit en masse, but he didn’t give a fuck. Five years he’d longed for her. Five years he’d been half a man. He grabbed the lube and started working it over his straining cock. “We’ll do this my way.”

“I thought I would be on my knees."

Because she’d never had anal sex before. Because she didn’t understand how creative he could be when he wanted something the way he wanted this. “You thought wrong. I’ll show you about a hundred different ways to do this. But today, I want to watch you. Trust me.”

“I do, Ian. I won’t make the same mistake twice. Show me what you want, Master.” She lifted her hips when he offered her a pillow.

Carefully placing it under her backside, the pillow lifted her pelvis and gave him easy access to her ass.

He joined her on the couch, lifting her ankles and making a place for himself between her legs. Reclining Lotus, as the Kama Sutra would call it. “Keep your feet on my thighs, knees out.”

The position opened her completely to him. He could take her pussy or her ass, and she was utterly vulnerable.

“You look so fucking soft, baby. Do you how vulnerable and pretty you look? You’re just lying there for me, offering me everything. You’re a sweet little sub.” He lined his cock up to her tight rosette. “Do you know who I am?”

“My Master.” Her breathy answer was accompanied by a little smile.

He pressed against her, his cockhead fighting to get inside. “Oh, baby, I’m the nasty, dirty man who’s about to ram his filthy cock up your asshole. Yeah. Do you feel it?”

A little gasp told him she did.

Back and forth he worked, the head of his dick beginning to disappear inside. He stared down at the lovely sight. Her delicate hole couldn’t hold out on him. No. He was a fucking Viking and he was going raiding. “I won’t let you keep me out. Don’t you even try. You let my cock in. You let your Master fuck your ass.”

Her eyes had widened, her mouth coming open in a little O as he forced his cock inside. “I don’t think I used a big enough plug.”

He held his weight off her with one hand and with the other he tweaked her nipple as he continued to thrust inside. “No more plugs for you. I think you like them too much. From now on you only get my cock in this sweet hole. Fuck, you feel good, Charlie.”

So tight. He could barely breathe. Her ass gripped him like nothing before, the heat so different from her pussy. He loved them both equally and promised not to favor one over the other. He would fuck her pussy and her ass and her mouth. He would fuck just about anything on her body that he could push his dick inside because that body belonged to him. His. His. His.

He pushed in, feeling savage again. She might have been able to erase some of his worries, but she couldn’t take away his raging possessiveness. Whatever had happened before, he had her now and he had zero intention of allowing her to leave again.

Charlie took a shaky breath. “I’m so full.”

“Not quite yet.” He wasn’t granting mercy. She would take every inch of him inside.

She groaned as he worked his way in inch by inch. Her beautiful face flushed pink. “I don’t think I can take more.”

But he still had so much more to give. “Yes, you can. You’ll take your Master. You’ll welcome me inside. Say it, Charlie. Tell me to give you my cock. Tell me you want it.”

“I want it. You know I want it.”

A low groan came from his chest as he finally managed to tunnel into her. She’d taken him to the root, and he held himself steady there, letting her get used to him. “Tell me how it feels.”

“Like my anus is going to explode, Ian. Seriously.” But there was a smile on her face as she panted, obviously trying to adapt.

He let his eyes close briefly, sinking into the sensation of being balls deep in her ass. “It only feels like I’m going to split you in two. It won’t really happen. Tell me, baby, did you fuck yourself with that plug?”

“I don’t understand. I plugged myself."

He loved how out of breath she was. And that she didn’t seem to understand. He looked back down at her. “So you didn’t move it in and out? You didn’t fuck the plug.”

“No, Master. You only told me to plug myself. Ian, please. Please, I want to give you what you need but this is killing me. What’s happening?”

No. She hadn’t fucked the plug. She thought this was all there was. She didn’t understand a damn thing. A sweet little virgin and he was going to show her how nasty and dirty and glorious anal sex could be.

“Are you ready, baby? Are you ready for me to fuck you?”

She gritted her teeth. “I kind of thought you already were. Ian, if you have anything left that isn’t already inside me, we need to talk.”

A laugh bubbled up. She was the only one who could do that to him, who could take him from raging passion to laughter in a second. “No need to talk. Just feel.”

He dragged his dick out in a slow pass.

Charlie’s eyes flared as she caught her breath. “Oh, Master.”

A long, slow thrust back in. “There’s a reason women let us do this to them, baby. Tell me you love it.”

Her hands came up, tightening on his shoulders. “I love it.”

This time when he pulled out almost to the tip, her ass tightened around him, trying to keep him in. “Tell me you love it when I fuck your ass.”

She groaned, biting her bottom lip as he thrust harder this time. “I love it when you fuck my ass. Please, Master. Please fuck my ass.”

“Now that is a polite request and one I’ll honor.” He gave up the dirty talk. It was time to let his cock do all the communicating. Heat poured through him, his every muscle clamoring for release, but he didn’t want to stop.

Over and over he moved inside her, his eyes watching the place where his dick disappeared inside, where he dominated her. Over and over. In and out. That tight asshole fought him as he thrust inside and then greedily clamped down on him as he pulled back. Every inch of his cock was pressed and squeezed inside her.

Then her asshole spasmed around his dick as she came, her nails biting into his shoulders.

He couldn’t hold out another second. His balls drew up tight. His spine tingled. His vision narrowed down to one thing only—her. The orgasm flared through him like a wildfire and he came in long passes, giving her everything he had. He thrust deep, holding himself hard against her, spreading her even further so there wasn’t an inch of space between them.

Pleasure made his eyes cross, his brain flare, and finally a calm sense of peace settled on him as he slipped from her ass and let her take his weight. Pressing her into the couch, he laid his head on her breast.

Her hands found his hair, stroking him softly.

Ian closed his eyes and hoped that time could slow down so he never had to make the decision he was going to be forced to make.