Mistletoe Baby

Chapter Fourteen

“Have I mentioned how much I appreciate this?” David asked, studying the planks in front of him and matching them with the diagram in the instructions.

On the other side of the room where he was assembling a matching bookshelf, Tanner wiped a sleeve across his sweaty brow. “Happy to help. Although I gotta admit, it’s not how I pictured spending my Christmas Eve. I was planning on letting Lilah catch me beneath the mistletoe. A lot.”

Both Lilah and Rachel were currently sleeping at Susan and Zachariah’s. The Waide tradition was that the whole family gathered there for Christmas Eve and dove into presents first thing in the morning, just as they did when they were kids. Because David had told everyone he shouldn’t leave the puppy alone all night, the women were having a slumber party in Arianne’s old room and the guys would rejoin them around sunrise. But he’d been serious about not leaving Hildie alone all night-she was camped outside the doorway, gnawing on a chew toy and regarding their progress with friendly curiosity.

David dismissed his brother’s lascivious hopes. “Despite whatever you had in mind, Mom was planning on making sure the two of you slept in separate rooms until after the wedding-”

“Three more days!”

“-so look at this as a way to burn off your physical frustration in the meantime.”

“I’ve long passed physical frustration and am headed into physical exhaustion,” his brother groused good-naturedly. “Moving the guest room furniture into the garage and all this stuff out of the garage…You really think Rachel will be surprised? I’d do anything in the world for Lilah, but she would have found the boxes by now. She has present radar. She stumbles over things I’ve hidden away even when she’s not purposely looking for them. Trying to keep her from finding her engagement ring early was a comedy of errors.”

David shook his head. “Rachel rarely ever goes into the garage, especially in the winter.” The space was too cramped for them to park cars inside, and had become little more than a storage facility for lawn and maintenance tools-it had been the perfect spot to hide the boxes for a few days. Even if Rachel had ventured out for a better look, she would have seen a neatly stacked row of cardboard, all taped up and full of parts and pieces that required assembly.

He grinned at all they’d managed to accomplish in just one night, trying to imagine her face when he showed her. “For future reference, Tanner, I owe you a beer.”

“Ha! I was thinking a keg.” But his brother was smiling, too. “As long as Rachel loves it, that’s enough for me.”

David couldn’t agree more. This was going to be the best Christmas ever.

RACHEL FELT warm and contentedly cocooned in the dreams she’d been having, but her senses were starting to provide solid motivation for waking up, too. The alluring scent of baking cinnamon rolls, for instance. And she was aware of the gentlest, coaxing pressure…She returned the light kiss as she opened her eyes, waking in David’s embrace.

He sat on the bed, smiling. “Merry Christmas.”

She sleepily returned the smile, then remembered where she was and glanced around. “Where’s everyone else?”

“Arianne’s helping Mom with breakfast, which is nearly ready, and I think Tanner dragged Lilah off in search of mistletoe. He was pitiful last night. The way he carried on, you’d think they were separated for weeks on end instead of a few hours.”

Rachel stretched, grinning nostalgically. “I remember the days before our wedding when I was sleeping under the same roof as my parents, only I couldn’t sleep because I was thinking of you.”

“Yeah?” David stroked his hand over her face. “What kind of thoughts?”

“Hey!” Arianne called from the hallway. “If all you happy couples think you’re gonna get fed, I demand help in the kitchen.”

Pulling herself into a sitting position, Rachel laughed. “Your sister is really going to have to learn to be assertive and ask for what she wants.”

“Yeah, well, it’s hard, being the baby of the family and a girl,” David deadpanned. “Tanner and I probably sheltered her too much. I blame myself for her crippling shyness.”

Rachel was still shaking her head and chuckling when she walked away to brush her teeth. She smiled at her own reflection in the mirror. Hard to believe that cheerful, beautiful woman was really her. If anyone had asked her a month ago, she would have said this was her last holiday with the Waide family, probably her last holiday as a Waide. She would have expected it to be tinged with melancholy if not outright grim. She’d never been so thrilled to be so wrong.

The biggest improvement might be her and David trying to reconnect, but it wasn’t the only improvement.

In weeks past, she’d been trying to decide if she could be truly happy here, in a slow-paced job and in a small community where people would probably always see her first and foremost as David’s wife with no real picture of who she’d been before. But after calling South Carolina last night to wish her own family happy holidays and hearing how stressed they all sounded-Kate having only returned to her job from maternity leave a few months ago and now worried about balancing her career with two small children, Rachel’s father still pushing himself as hard as ever and refusing to consider retirement, her mother still obsessing over office politics (“First it was the sexism and having to prove myself among the Boys’ Club, now it’s making sure these new young girls they hire don’t make the rest of us obsolete”)…Well, it was easy to remember why Rachel had dropped out of that particular rat race and sought the sanctuary of this sleepy town.

Folks in Mistletoe might be overly interested in her life, but it was by and large legitimate interest, not just judging her by her portfolio or whether she was on track for a promotion. Rachel had never truly disliked her job at the print shop. She’d just started overanalyzing it because she’d wanted to feel that she was in control of something, because she’d so desperately needed to be excited about something in her life. But both her parents had tried to find their satisfaction at the office for years, and neither seemed to have succeeded.

She patted her tummy, looking down. “And then there’s you.” She could not wait to see everyone’s faces when she and David made the announcement later.

When she finally joined the others in the kitchen, Tanner harassed her about women taking a long time in the bathroom, and Arianne playfully accused her of ducking breakfast chores. Only David glanced at her with worry, raising an eyebrow in silent question and miming being queasy. It took her a moment to figure out what he was doing, and she laughed at how ridiculous he looked. She’d unintentionally discovered that her competitive husband would probably be lousy at charades.

I’m fine, she mouthed.

To everyone else taking their seats around the table, she said, “Sorry I was late. I stopped and took a few minutes to…count my blessings. A list that definitely included all of you.” After a month of her emotions being so close to the surface, she shouldn’t be so caught off guard by the way her vision suddenly blurred with unshed tears.

Susan looked startled but touched by the declaration. “What an absolutely lovely thing to say, dear. You know we love you, too. I think it would be appropriate if we all said something we were grateful for this year. I’ll start. I’m the luckiest woman in Mistletoe to have all three of my grown children home and gathered around me for the holidays.”

Next to her, Zachariah nodded. “I’m grateful the store had another profitable year and grateful for the work my family put in to help make that happen. David, I haven’t once second-guessed turning the reins over to you, and I know you’ll do great things.”

Tanner kissed Lilah’s hand. “I’m thankful this one hasn’t come to her senses yet and realized she could do better than me.”

A ripple of laughter went around the table, and Lilah’s eyes twinkled when she added, “I’m grateful the wedding dress still fits-I had my doubts after some of the buffets at Christmas parties we attended. But I officially picked it up yesterday and it was just as perfect as ever. I’m incredibly grateful that, in three more days, I will become Mrs. Lilah Waide.”

“I’m grateful I got that waiter’s number at the club we took Lilah to,” Arianne said smugly. “Well, we don’t all have to go for the sap, do we? I figure everyone else has got the cheesy covered.”

David’s voice was so soft that Rachel wondered if anyone else heard him when he said, “I’m grateful for fresh starts.”

Her heart squeezed.

He cleared his throat, setting his hand atop hers on the table. “Rachel, do you want to…?”

Now? She hadn’t really thought about when they’d make their announcement, but David was smiling at her eagerly, obviously ready. Why not? Everyone was together, and it did seem like a perfect moment.

She took a deep breath, lacing her fingers with his. “Well, there is one new blessing that I-we-wanted to share with you. David and I are, um…” The tears fell then as if the happiness inside her body was too big to contain and it was seeking any physical outlet. She swiped at the dampness on her cheeks, nearly laughing aloud with sheer joy. She probably looked as if she’d come unhinged. “I’m pregnant! Dr. McDermott says everything looks good so far, and we’re expecting a baby this summer.”

Squeals and exclamations erupted around the table, and Rachel thought Arianne did a credible job of looking surprised. Chairs creaked as everyone got up to hug everyone else. Zachariah’s eyes were misty with emotion when he embraced her. Susan was sobbing hard enough to rival Rachel herself.

After getting her hug, Lilah bounced around the room declaring, “I knew it. I knew it! Oh, this is the best news ever. Just think, Ari, by the time you get married, your niece or nephew will probably be old enough to serve as an adorable ring bearer or flower girl.”

Arianne snorted. “If I get married, we’re eloping to Vegas, but thanks for thinking of me.”

RACHEL SNUGGLED against David’s side, closing her eyes and listening to the classic movie everyone else was watching. It had been such a wonderful day she didn’t want it to end, but she was bone-tired. For as delicious as Susan’s roast turkey and white cheddar mashed potatoes had been, they weren’t exactly energizing foods. If her body felt this heavy and languid now, Rachel couldn’t begin to fathom what the third trimester would be like.

“I should get you home.” David kissed the top of her head. “You look ready to drop, and I’ll bet Winnie’s animals would appreciate getting dinner.”

Rachel nodded her consent, then exchanged goodbyes with everyone. They’d all be together again the day after tomorrow for the wedding rehearsal and dinner. Tanner had two friends driving up together from Atlanta for the ceremony, but most of the bride’s and groom’s relatives were local.

Outside, Rachel paused long enough to appreciate the clear night sky and hundreds of stars winking at her as if they were all in on a private joke. “It’s beautiful.”

David smiled. “You’re just stalling because you don’t have the energy to walk the rest of the way to the car.”

“That obvious?”

He shifted the packages he carried for both of them and put his free arm around her. “Thank you for one of the best Christmases of my life.”

She laughed. “Even with the lame presents I got you?” At a desperate loss shopping this year, she’d landed on a boxed set of CDs from a band he liked and a bottle of his favorite cologne, which was practically a gift to her since she loved leaning close and inhaling the scent.

“I had everything I wanted today,” he told her as he stashed boxes and gift bags in the trunk.

“Well, thank you for my present.” She’d been delighted by the digital camera. It was a truly thoughtful gift, with a much higher megapixel count than her last one, a sophisticated zoom function and the ability to take black-and-white or sepia-toned shots. They’d taken a few test shots today, but she was looking forward to reading through the instructions when she was more alert, and really giving it a workout at the rehearsal, wedding and reception. She already had an idea for a set of nostalgic pictures she could do for the chamber of commerce using the sepia option.

David started the car. “Actually, I have one other thing to give you. At the house.”

Her lips twitched. “Is that your idea of a come-on line?”

“No.” He laughed at her. “I really do have another present waiting for you at the house. Tanner and I set it up last night while you were at Mom and Dad’s.”

“Oh.” That sounded big. She wondered what it could be, but her curiosity wasn’t enough to keep her awake.

The motion of the car, the white noise of the engine and the road beneath them lulled her to sleep, but it was only a short ride and she woke a few minutes later, more groggy than refreshed. Would David’s feelings be hurt if she asked to postpone unwrapping her second present until tomorrow?

Oh, don’t be a killjoy, she chided herself. Christmas came only once a year, and he was obviously excited. She could prop herself up long enough to appreciate whatever it was he’d done for her.

Inside the house, he flipped on the hallway light and turned to her with a huge smile. “This way.”

After a second, she realized he was leading her toward the guest room. Intrigued, she hid a yawn behind her hand and followed. What was he up to? He walked through the doorway first, but spun to face her so quickly she almost bumped into him.

“Ta-da!” David spread his arms proudly.

She was so stunned at what she was seeing that it took a moment for reality to register. They were standing in a baby nursery. If it wasn’t fully furnished, it was darn close. A white wooden crib, changing table and bookshelf were all assembled and set in place. Brightly colored curtains matched the rainbow comforter and mobile of primary-colored fuzzy shapes.

The world slipped out from under her. Rachel felt as though she were standing on the deck of a ship that was about to capsize; she even reached out for something to anchor herself, but the only thing within grasp was David himself. All those wonderful possibilities, gone in one fell swoop. She let her arms fall back to her sides. A familiar feeling was welling in her.

After everything the two of them had been through during the past few months, he still didn’t get it.

“Speechless, huh?” He beamed. He moved to the side so she could get a better view of everything. “And here Tanner was worried you might find out, that it wouldn’t be a surprise.”

“Tanner,” she repeated.

David trailed his hand over the crib railing, looking impossibly pleased with himself. “I couldn’t have done it without him. At least not under these time constraints.”

You shouldn’t have done it without me. But she bit her tongue, not wanting to lash out, not when they’d been so close…

“So?” He stood there expectantly, waiting for gushing praise. While she struggled to find words, choking on despair, he prompted her as clearly as a drama teacher cuing a nervous student onstage. “It looks great, doesn’t it? Works for either a boy or a girl, with all the cheery red, blue, yellow and green. You see we put up a switch plate and that wallpaper border halfway down the wall. If you want, we can paint the trim, too. That might be pretty. Really dresses up the room without painting it all some pastel color we’d have to cover later.”

The trim. Her mind was working furiously, one part of her brain pointing out that he’d put a lot of effort into this. He thought he’d done a nice thing. But the rest of her was enraged. She was carrying a baby she’d wanted for the past three years. She’d read parenting magazines cover to cover, thumbed through consumer rating reports and cut out pictures of baby paraphernalia-and David didn’t think she’d want any more input on the nursery than what color to paint the trim? An aborted scream caught in her throat.

“There’s a rocker on back order,” he continued, oblivious. “It doesn’t match exactly, it’s a blond wood, but the cushion will work with what we used in here-”

“By we, I assume you mean you and Tanner?”

He started, seeming perplexed that she wasn’t turning cartwheels of joy. “Well…yeah. You’re not mad because I told him about the baby a couple of days early, are you? Because I did this for you.”

For her, not with her. Crucial difference. “I know, David. Th-thank you.” Squeezing her eyes shut, she struggled to pull the sentences from her tired brain that would finally make him hear her. She rubbed her temples. “But I had thought that, once we were living together again, if we were living together again, we could…that we would-Were you just assuming that everything would revert to the way it used to be after Winnie got home from the cruise?”

“Well, that was definitely my hope,” he said carefully. “Come on, Rachel, I love you. You love me. I know you do!” Possibly not the best way for him to argue his case right now, telling her how she felt.

“We’re dating right now,” she reminded him. “Taking it slowly?” Or had he just been humoring her?

He sighed, shifting his weight. “If it’s that important to you, I can get an apartment. Give you your space for a little while. I could stay at Tanner’s place if it’s really necessary. I’d already decided that if you and I weren’t together, you and the baby should take the house, anyway.”

Her blood pressure soared. “If you and I didn’t stay together, don’t you think it should be my decision where I lived? You can’t make those choices for me, especially not without even consulting me.”

“But you already said you’d stay in Mistletoe until at least the birth, maybe longer. It just makes sense for you to stay here,” he argued, regarding her as if she were mentally unstable. “Hell, I got this place for you!”

“That’s right!” Inwardly, she flinched at her own raised voice, but she couldn’t seem to calm herself enough to get her volume back under control. “For me, with no input from me whatsoever.”

“Well, that would have spoiled the surprise. I knew you’d love this house. And I was right, wasn’t I?”

There was no sane way for her to explain that, at the moment, his being right-again-was more a liability than asset. Just as she was at a loss to explain how he could be right and dead wrong at the same time.

“We had been looking for houses on my weekends here,” she reminded him, thinking of Lilah and Tanner, building their home, trading opinions on everything from light fixtures to the welcome mat. A surge of envy pierced her. “Together.”

“But we hadn’t found any we loved. This met all your qualifications, and I knew it wouldn’t stay on the market long at that asking price!”

All valid points. However, it made it difficult to connect with her husband when, every time she tried to explain her feelings, he cut her off with logical arguments instead of understanding what she was trying to share.

“Rachel, if you didn’t like the house, why didn’t you say so four years ago?”

If she’d spoken up the moment he proudly handed her the keys-the way she was trying to speak up now-would it have set a different tone for their marriage? “Because I did like the house. You were right, of course. It’s perfect for us, so it seemed childish to whine, ‘But I wanted to help pick it out.’ Only now it’s four years later, and half the time I feel like a part-time consultant on my own life, with you making unilateral decisions. I wish sometimes that instead of my moving to Mistletoe, where you already had a life established, we’d moved to a neutral location where we could build a life together from the ground up. Because-”

“You love Mistletoe! You always have.” He scowled at her, equal parts angry and confused.

Some days more than others. But this wasn’t about the town. She was trying to explain her feelings about them. “Damn it, David! Could you please just listen? I feel…extraneous. I daydreamed about brainstorming nursery themes with you,” she blurted, tears rising. “Looking through catalogs, discussing baby names…Unless you’ve already picked out one of those, too?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“It’s not ridiculous to me, David. I…” She glanced around again, hating how wrong she’d been, feeling stupid for all that hope she’d been nurturing for the past week. “I had this image of the two of us, paint smears on our clothes and faces, standing in the middle of a nursery we’d created together.”

“I didn’t think the physical exertion and fumes would be good for you and the baby,” he muttered, intractable. “I’m sorry you don’t like the nursery. I can-”

“No! This isn’t about me being some shrew who doesn’t appreciate her husband’s kind acts. I like surprises. Smaller ones, anyway. This is about your entrenched mantra of ‘I can.’ David, why isn’t it ever we can?”

She knew she’d ruined the moment he must have been picturing, savoring, while he sweated over furniture assembly and wallpaper paste. She saw the wounded look deep beneath his rapidly cooling gaze and hated herself a little for putting it there…and hated him a little for putting her in this position. This was too important for her to nod politely and pretend she was overjoyed. She’d let lots of incidents pass unremarked-if you could call buying an entire house an “incident”-because they were sweet and she didn’t want to hurt him. But she couldn’t go back to their marriage the way it was. She needed-she deserved-a partnership.

“You make it sound like I don’t think about you. I did this for you,” David protested.

“If you really thought about me, if you really knew me…For a couple of months, I was unsatisfied at my job, partly because I’d fallen into a rut, partly because of the subliminal guilt my parents heap on me that I’m not doing anything more ‘important.’ I’ve come to terms with never again having the kind of salary I gave up, never being an executive or having the type of career other people see as important, but I should feel important in my own house. I should feel important to you.”

He was furious now, stomping past her as if he couldn’t wait to get out of that room. “I was trying to show you how important you are to me! I go out of my way to do things like this, to take care of you, to…And your reactions have varied from sullen acknowledgment to outright criticism. Most women would be thrilled to be married to a guy who thought to send flowers, who surprised them with grand gestures.”

“Then maybe I am not the woman for you!” Her pulse was racing, and she couldn’t believe she’d just yelled that at him. But this was crucial-the point she was trying to make, this was a deal breaker-and he wasn’t hearing her. Again.

David shot her a look of something perilously close to contempt. “Maybe you’re not.” Then he was gone.

At first she was too stunned to move, but when the front door shut, she sank to the floor, her eyes hot and dry. This felt too big for tears, the gaping hole that had just been punched through her. She didn’t know why she was so horribly shocked; after all, she’d known they were standing on a fault line and that one more good-size tremor might be more than their marriage could take at this point.

She just wished she hadn’t been so right about them in November and so wrong about them making the most of their second chance.