Off the Record

Chapter 30 RESULTS ARE IN

Liz stared at her reflection in the mirror. She was all jittery and couldn’t stop fidgeting. Today was the day. She had walked into the polling booth this morning and cast her vote for State Senator Brady Maxwell III for the House of Representatives in the primary.

Three months ago she wouldn’t have believed she would do that. But standing there with the ballot in hand in a small cubicle surrounded by mostly elderly women, Liz knew there was no other option. Brady Maxwell had won her vote over the course of the summer even before he had unequivocally won her heart.

Then came the unbearable waiting period. Sitting through classes, working at the paper, watching students go about their business without the slightest idea of how important today was. She had spent all week with her new assistants, Tristan and Savannah, encouraging the student body to go out and vote. They all knew the consequences, but conveying that to the student body proved tiresome. And there wasn’t much she could do besides use her voice to coax people into going to the polls.

It was finally that time. Hayden would be there any minute to pick her up and take her to the results party for Brady. She had tried to get out of going with him; she would have rather gone alone, but Hayden thought she was going for work. Once again, she couldn’t explain her way out of the situation without giving away secrets she meant to hold on to.

With her jitters came an uncontrollable need to do something while she waited. She had changed outfits three times before settling on a charcoal pantsuit with a blue blouse and black platforms. She had slid her locket over her head and then back off more than a dozen times before leaving it on. Her hair was flat ironed to perfection, and she had never applied her makeup so thoroughly.

A text appeared on her phone from Hayden, telling her it was time to head out. They still had a full forty minutes before they made it to Raleigh.

Liz exited her house, walked to Hayden’s Audi, and sat down in the passenger seat. She tried not to think about the last time she had been a passenger in a car.

“Hey,” Hayden said. His smile was full-on charm. “You look great.”

“Thanks,” Liz said. She appreciated his compliment in spite of her nerves as he pulled out of her driveway.

He looked good too. He wore a fitted black suit with a white button-down and a blue tie that matched her blouse. Brady would surely look better, though. Liz gritted her teeth at the thought. She hated comparing, so she racked her brain to find something else to talk to Hayden about.

“How do you think the paper is doing so far?” she managed to get out.

“Good. We lost a lot of seniors at the end of the last year, but the incoming freshmen are really stepping up. I was surprised to see Savannah Maxwell in the room. Weren’t you?”

“I was surprised.” Though for reasons he would have never guessed.

“You would think with her family’s history she wouldn’t have chosen reporting,” Hayden continued. “I was worried she would be a liability.”

“I think she doesn’t want to be under the shadow of her family. Big shoes to fill and all that,” Liz told him. It felt strange to have insight into Savannah’s head, but she was working closely with her now. Liz could kind of pick up on her vibe.

“Well, as long as you two work well together, then I don’t see any problem with it. I know how you feel about our politician.”

Liz tried not to cringe at the name Hayden still used for Brady. She needed to change the subject again, but worried that somehow it would always go back to Brady…especially today.

Finally Liz relaxed enough to just shrug. She wasn’t going to talk about Brady. She was too nervous for him at present.

“What do you think about the other freshmen?” Liz prompted.

Thankfully that incited a long-winded discussion of every new person Hayden had come into contact with. Some Liz had seen or heard about already in the first week and others she hadn’t, but she fed him a few questions here and there so she didn’t have to give much input.

Even though Hayden kept up a steady stream of conversation, Liz couldn’t keep from wringing her hands in her lap from nerves. When Hayden asked about it, she tried to brush it off. She was too invested in the race, since she had spent all summer on it. The outcome was really important and all that. But she was really just anxious for Brady…and for what it meant for them going forward.

They followed the directions to the south side of Raleigh, where a ballroom was to be the spot for the Senator’s victory celebration and his acceptance speech to run for office. The press passes she had received had Senator Maxwell’s Victory Celebration written on them. Liz wondered how well Brady was taking it all. She knew he wasn’t as certain of the title as his own party.

Hayden pulled up in front of the ballroom and then into the press parking lot. He flashed his press pass and then drove into their designated lot. The sun was sinking on the horizon when Hayden finally parked, which meant the polls would be closing, ballots counted, and results would be coming in soon.

Liz stepped out of the car into the balmy afternoon heat. She grabbed her bag, complete with notepad and trusted recorder. Hayden carried the camera equipment. Then they walked up to the grand building together.

They flashed their passes and were handed a press information packet, and then were directed to their section of the room. Liz smiled at the usher and followed Hayden into the ballroom.

Her breath caught at the sight before her. The campaign had pulled out all the stops for this event. The room was decorated entirely in the festive red-white-and-blue, with VOTE FOR MAXWELL banners hanging all around the perimeter. A giant staircase opened up on the opposite end of the room from two tiered balconies and led to the ballroom floor below, as well as to a stage that had been erected. A podium rested on the stage with an American flag across it, and another enormous Maxwell sign hung up behind it. A projection screen took up part of one wall and was broadcasting the news as they waited for election results to come in.

A crowd had already formed and people milled around the room, anxiously awaiting the results. Some of the press were interviewing partygoers and speaking excitedly into their microphones, but most were just enjoying the company as they waited to hear the fate of the man they had put their trust in.

She wished in that moment as she surveyed the room that she weren’t wearing a press badge, that she weren’t dressed in a pantsuit, that she weren’t here to work. She wanted to be in an elegant modest cocktail dress backstage waiting and stressing over the results with Brady. She wanted to be something that everyone said was impossible.

“Come on. This way,” Hayden said, touching the small of her back and guiding her into the ballroom.

Liz remembered the first press conference she went to with Hayden and what it felt like when he had touched her then. She had been exhilarated and excited, but now all she felt were her nerves threatening to bubble over. She needed to calm down.

Taking a deep breath, she lifted her chin and walked confidently over to the press section, which had a raised platform for the photographers to capture the speeches. Hayden pulled out the tripod stand and began setting up the camera as she dropped her bag on the ground next to his stuff. They would use some of the footage tomorrow in their post-primary reel online. It made her think of Justin…and how everything had changed after this summer.

A hush fell over the crowd just as Hayden got the equipment secured into place, and Liz bit down on her lip hard in anticipation. Were they already announcing results? Had the ballots already been counted? Could it possibly be that quick? It didn’t seem plausible.

The news commentator straightened his tie and spoke confidently into the camera. “Thank you so much for your patience in these matters. We’re all waiting to hear the primary results, and we’ll update you as soon as they start rolling in. We already have some winners popping up on the screen now. Follow below to see the list while the rest of us wait for the toss-ups that we have been tracking—the Hardy-Maxwell race over there in North Carolina in particular along with…”

Liz tuned out the rest of the commentator’s speech. They were still waiting. Toss-up race. She had used the phrase herself in her journalism in the past week while encouraging people to vote, but hearing it on the news made it even worse.

She didn’t realize that she had been staring at the screen until Hayden waved his hand in front of her face.

“We’re not getting to the results any faster. Are you all right?” he asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Just zoned out, I guess.”

“Do you want a drink or anything? I was going to go snag a water,” he offered.

“Sure. Water sounds great.”

Liz watched Hayden leave the press area and then lost him in the crowd as he went off in search of refreshments. She took that moment to bend down and dig in her bag to see whether she had any text messages. Make sure Brady hadn’t messaged her while she was waiting.

“Oh, look,” a familiar voice sounded behind her, “you’re at another Maxwell event.”

Liz stood and turned swiftly, her blond hair flying out around her. She saw the flash of signature dark red hair before her eyes met bright green ones. Calleigh Hollingsworth. Liz dropped the questioning look on her face as soon as she saw who had uttered the accusatory sentence.

“Oh, look, you are too,” Liz said with a smile and a tilt of her head. To think she had once idolized this woman. But her naïve blinders were gone and she knew better than to trust Calleigh.

Calleigh smiled, showing her brilliant white teeth. She really was too beautiful for her own good. A skinny little thing with sleek hair and perfectly fitted clothing that accentuated her body in all the right places. Liz would never look like Calleigh, but really, Brady had wanted Liz for exactly who she was. So it didn’t matter.

“Are you excited about the results?” Calleigh asked, sidling up close to Liz. Closer than she would have wanted.

“Should be an interesting race,” Liz said diplomatically. “Everyone is calling it a toss-up.”

“And what do you think?” Calleigh asked, eyeing her coolly. She looked rapt with attention, which made Liz cautious.

“I think it’s anyone’s game, and the general election is going to be even tougher. So whoever comes out on top had better be ready to show deep pockets. I have a feeling this will be an expensive race.”

In fact, she already knew that it was an expensive race. That was why Brady spent so much time with donors and fund-raisers. Why he had gone all the way to Hilton Head to meet with people for a weekend.

“Oh, come on,” Calleigh said, nudging her. “Maxwell has it in the bag. You and I both know he does. We were there on the Fourth of July. His speech was very…moving.”

Liz smiled and nodded, all the while wondering where Calleigh was going with this. She was goading her. Liz knew that she needed to tread very, very carefully.

“Fitting for a Senator’s son.” Liz hoped it was the right thing to say.

Calleigh smiled wider and waved at someone over Liz’s shoulder. Liz took a breath and turned around, not knowing who to expect. With her luck it could be God knows anyone.

“Hey!” Hayden said, hopping up the steps and smiling at Liz and Calleigh. “Here’s your water.”

Liz took the water bottle out of his hand and tried to remain calm. Calleigh was hinting at something, but Liz didn’t know if she actually knew anything. And would she press further in front of Hayden? Liz couldn’t judge her next move.

“Hey, Hayden,” Calleigh said, lowering her eyelashes and staring up at him. “Liz and I were just talking about Senator Maxwell. We think he’s a sure winner. What about you?”

“Oh, I think he wins easy,” Hayden said with a lazy smile, turning to look at Liz instead of Calleigh.

If he had paid any attention, he would have seen the irritation flash on Calleigh’s face.

“That’s what you said all along, right, Lizzie?”

Liz inhaled sharply at that name. That was what Hayden had called her right before kissing her in D.C. The memory of his lips washed over her so suddenly she barely had time to recover.

“Uh, yeah. I think he’ll win,” she muttered.

“Even with the rumors?” Calleigh asked, her green eyes going wide.

“What rumors?” Hayden asked for her.

“Haven’t you guys been following all of the coverage?”

Liz had mostly been freaking out and refusing to watch or read anything. She’d had all her articles already written, and with Tristan and Savannah’s help she had been able to obsess all alone. She didn’t want to hear about a poll that had Charles Hardy ahead of Brady, back and forth, back and forth.

“Oh, the stuff about his girlfriends?” Hayden asked. “Do you think that’s all true, Calleigh? You don’t think the guy can be a bachelor politician without sleeping with every girl who walks past him?”

“Really, Hayden? How many women does he need to be photographed with for you to believe that the guy is dating multiple women while running for office?”

“The campaign came right out and said that he had no personal relationships with those women, and they were just friends,” Hayden reminded her.

“Convenient,” Calleigh said dismissively. “The campaign will make a statement in whatever way is most favorable to them. Whether the campaign wants to admit it or not, it just makes him look like a player.”

Hayden shrugged. “Probably. What do you think, Liz?” he asked, trying to include her.

Liz’s mouth had gone dry. Of all the days for that shit to surface, it had to be the couple days before the primary that she had refused to watch the news. The only thing she didn’t know was whether or not her involvement had surfaced. Someone surely would have said something if it had, right?

“Brady’s bachelor status is known, as well as the various dates he brings to functions. I don’t know why it’s being brought up now except as a desperate attempt by his opponent to throw off those who favor more traditional family values,” Liz told them, speaking more confidently than she felt.

“Maybe,” Calleigh said nonchalantly. “I don’t know how they explain away the woman he’s secretly seeing.”

“What woman?” Liz asked, sure that her voice gave her away. Her hands were shaking and she clenched them into fists at her sides so they weren’t visible. She could feel her heart rate picking up. No. They couldn’t know.

“There are claims that he’s having a secret affair,” Calleigh nearly whispered, as if she were telling them a secret, but her eyes stared straight through Liz. Could she possibly know?

“Isn’t that all speculation?” Hayden asked. “There really isn’t any proof. Or at least, if the competition has it, it hasn’t surfaced yet.”

Calleigh shrugged. “We’ll see. I bet if he wins, it will surface.”

Liz found herself nodding, because Calleigh was right. If the competition had any proof of this “anonymous” woman, then it would surely come to light in the coming months. How many times had she been with Brady in a public place where people could have photographed them…videotaped them together? She listed them off in her head—gala event, lake house, Fourth of July, second gala event, his house, the cabana, not to mention the time she ran into Clay at Hilton Head, after Brady had told her not to be seen in public…

Fuck. Too many places. She had thought they had been so careful, but now looking back on it, it all seemed so reckless. Anything unexpected in politics could hurt a career, especially with a race as close as Brady’s. They had been sleeping together in private for months. It all came back to what Victoria had said, “A guy who wants to keep secrets from other people…is going to be okay keeping secrets from you.” Brady’s opponents could paint this so easily as deception, and people would be asking what else he was hiding for the rest of the election. Not to mention that her hard-earned objectivity would go down the drain. She and Brady had been gambling their careers, and now it could all blow up in their faces.

The room fell silent again, and Liz was sure people could hear her thoughts. She forced herself to look away from Calleigh’s questioning stare. She didn’t know how much Calleigh knew or if, as Hayden had said, it was all speculation. Either way it wasn’t comforting.

“We heard that we should be having the final results for the Fourth District over there in the Triangle area of North Carolina any minute now. What do you think about this race, Stacy?” the commentator asked his female coanchor.

“Well, it’s really a toss-up, Ryan,” Stacy said, furrowing her brow. “There’s been so much speculation going around about State Senator Maxwell’s bachelor status and the number of women he has been seen with. The question people are asking is ‘Who is Senator Maxwell dating?’ We’ve seen him with a North Carolina state beauty queen, an environmental lobbyist, and a swimsuit model. How many women is this politician dating at once? The campaign has come out and officially made a statement. You can see it here on the left.”

A clip of a campaign’s statement appeared on the screen, and Liz skimmed it quickly as the woman read over it aloud.

“‘State Senator Maxwell has had no official relationships with any of the women that he has been photographed with. They are simply friends who agreed to accompany him to events. He is, as ever, focused on the election.’ Now, that seems pretty straightforward to me, but I wonder how many more women will surface if he wins this primary. There has already been some talk about him having relations with yet another woman.”

“That’s right, Stacy,” Ryan cut in. “Who is this mystery woman? And will more evidence turn up regarding this situation? If it does, this could look bad for Senator Maxwell if he wins the primary today and moves on to the general election.”

Liz felt as if all of the color had drained out of her face. It was all hearsay. Someone had started a rumor that had bloomed into something with the potential to cause chaos. But still, she hadn’t heard about any swimsuit model from Brady. Was that just gossip as well? And why was the news even reporting on this?

She knew why even if it was infuriating at the moment. The race was as much selling a person as it was selling a platform…maybe more so. People could rally behind a compelling candidate like Brady, but with a potential mishap like this, how far would it set him back?

“Oh, it looks like the results are finally in,” Stacy said with a smile.

Liz watched the screen along with the rest of the crowd. She was solely focused on what was about to happen. Brady was going to win. He had to win. This was his dream.

“And it looks like in an incredibly close race with a win by only a thousand votes,” Stacy cheered, “State Senator Brady Maxwell has won the primary. Congratulations, Senator.”

The room erupted into applause. People were screaming, clapping, hugging one another, dancing with strangers—Liz could even see one lady crying on her friend’s shoulder. And all she did was stand there and stare.

Brady won. He had actually won. He had beaten a very qualified candidate, someone who had been working in politics two or three times longer than him. Yet, he had come out on top.

Liz had known deep down that he would win, but still the magnitude of what had just happened washed over her all at once. He had two and a half more months of the campaign to find out whether he won his seat in Congress, but at this point, he had surpassed expectations. If he won his seat in November, he would be the youngest sitting representative. She was so proud of him.

Actually standing there, knowing that Brady was the nominee for the House of Representatives, changed everything. Everything.

He wasn’t just a chance. A hope. He was a sure thing.

And it was in that moment Liz knew that Brady had been wrong the other day. He had been wrong to say that there was never a choice. No matter how stubborn he was in wanting both the campaign and her, there was always a choice. Always.

But the choice wasn’t his. It was hers.

The whole time Liz had been acting as if she didn’t have a choice in what happened between her and Brady. That things would work out or they wouldn’t. That he was the one who would make the ultimate decision to pull the plug. He had set the rules from the beginning in that little diner, and he had been setting them ever since. Brady decided when and where and even who could know that they had a relationship at all. Brady had decided the risks they would take.

Liz had simply acted like a passenger, letting him guide the car wherever it might go. She had been active and even demanding at times, but she never really pushed the limits. She never did anything drastic enough to make him say enough was enough.

But she knew now that she had to make the choice; otherwise Brady was going to keep making it for her. He had been making decisions for her long enough.

What it came down to was that she loved him and he loved her. It was an inevitable, impossible existence where they stood currently. Their feelings bore down on them with a hopeless, crushing desire, with a need that bordered on addiction. It would forever be that need that she felt, that craving to be with him, to be around him because they were never allowed the opportunity to let their feelings bloom and grow. At this standstill, they couldn’t truly develop their relationship.

And the biggest problem. The one above all else was that Brady wouldn’t let her love him.

Plain and simple.

So the choice wasn’t her or the campaign. The choice was whether or not he would let her love him.

And that answer scared her, terrified her.

Because Liz knew that if it was her decision, she would choose his happiness over hers any day.