One Lavender Ribbon

Chapter 13

The day turned breezeless. No sounds except for that of a lone seagull in the distance. Sara dropped into the seat at the end of the porch, haloed by flowers and greenery, her eyes wide and filling with unshed tears.

Adrienne’s heart shattered, and she moved to the spot where a bloodless oval face stared through the planks of the floor.

“I’ve hurt him again,” Sara whispered through trembling lips.

Adrienne gripped Sara’s hands as much to console the woman as herself. “I thought it would go better.” Her apology was such a pitiful token, a worthless token. She’d watched the two of them crack and break, the past too painful a place to trudge through.

Sara, eyes swimming, said, “I want to go home now.”

Adrienne’s heart cracked a little more. For a split second she envisioned Sara sitting in her living room, staring into nothingness. The woman had been happy, content before Adrienne showed up. She took Sara by the arm and lifted her, trying to give strength.

But a shuffle at the front door drew her attention.

There Pops stood, staring at the two women on his porch. First his eyes rested on Adrienne, then shifted to Sara, the woman who had loved him.

Sara’s face crumpled under the pressure of decades of unspoken words. All the years of shame washed over her in wave upon wave of buried secrets and forbidden love. She took a step toward William but stopped.

“Sara?” he whispered.

She swallowed and shot a quick glance to Adrienne.

Unable to give her any indication of William’s reaction, Adrienne shrugged apologetically.

William ran a hand over his face, brow furrowed. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he demanded.

Sara’s eyes were rimmed with red, her head hung low. “I . . . ”

He took a shaky step toward her. “It changes everything.” He began to move to the far end of the porch where she stood, but stopped and sucked in a deep breath. “I could have been there for you. When Gracie died, I could have helped you through it.”

Shock registered on Sara’s face. Bit by painstaking bit, her body released its tension. “You . . . you’re not mad?”

Pops ran his hand over his thighs. “Furious. Mad to the core of my being, but what of it? I’m old, Sara. I don’t have time to waste. You’re here. On my porch. And you’re trying to right the wrong.”

A tiny smile appeared on Sara’s mouth.

William put a trembling hand to his lips. “Sweet Sara.” He reached his arms out wide and shuffled toward her.

Adrienne pressed her mouth together in an attempt to fight back the tears as the two met in the center of the porch. William lifted his hands to Sara’s upper arms as if he were soaking her in, remembering her as the younger woman he’d known so many years ago. He pulled her close into the circle of his arms, and she rested her head against his chest and cried.

He hugged her, touching her shoulders, then cupping her face in his hands as if he couldn’t believe she was there. With weathered thumbs, he wiped the tears that ran down her cheeks.

“I’m so sorry,” Sara whispered, white hair dusting her shoulders. Some loose strands lay across her face, but she didn’t bother to sweep them back. “I’m so sorry, William.”

He shook his head and had to tilt her chin up so that she would look him eye to eye. “No, Sara, I’m sorry for not trying to find you after I came home.”

They held each other, crying, laughing, and crying again. And Adrienne cried too. Standing there on the porch, she stopped fighting the tears. For several moments they stayed there, the two old bodies pressed together, swaying gently from side to side as a lifetime of deceit dissolved like salt in hot water.

Wiping her eyes, she noticed the black Mercedes in the driveway. Adrienne’s heart stopped beating, blood turned to ice in her veins. She recognized the car. But her mind was reeling. He shouldn’t be home this early. And it looked like he’d been sitting there a while.

William took Sara by the hand. “Come on inside. We have a lot to talk about.” Completely unaware of his grandson’s early return, and equally oblivious to Adrienne, William led Sara into the house, lightly cradling her arm with the caution one might use to hold a butterfly.

Eyes focused on the black Mercedes looming in the driveway, terror spiked through Adrienne. But equally startling and quick on its heels, something protective erupted within her. If Will wanted to be furious at her for interfering, that was fine. But there was no way in the world she was going to let him spoil this reunion. She squared her shoulders and descended the steps, ready for the fight. Fight was something that didn’t come naturally to her, so the sudden rush of adrenalin caused her hands to fist. She wasn’t a fighter. She was a conformer. In each and every situation she conformed to what everyone else needed or wanted. Well, not this time. Her teeth were pressed so tightly together, her jaw ached.

The sun beat down on her as she walked across the lawn to his window. When she reached him, he was sitting in the car, staring straight ahead, hands gripping the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles were white. Finally, he shot her a look .

“Get in,” he said.

For a moment she could only stare at him.

“Get in,” he said again.

Confusion flickered through her, and she threw a look at the house, the sight of Pops and Sara and their tender embrace still fresh in her mind.

His words drew her back. “Don’t you think they need some time alone?”

She didn’t really know what to do. People had been murdered and ditched for less. And this whole new fight thing left her uncertain.

His eyes softened. “Adrienne, come on. You’re safe with me.”

Her thoughts drifted back to the fishing trip, his strong hands helping her onto the boat. How tenderly he slid the pole into her grasp and gave gentle tugs on the line to teach her what a bite felt like. She’d been scared when the engine rumbled to life, and he had eased her fears by moving her to the seat beside him. She was too much of a chicken to remove the fish from her hook, so he’d held the slimy thing with his own hands and wrapped her hand in a towel so she could remove the hook without having to feel the fish wiggling against her. She’d been safe then.

And she was safe now. Before making a conscious decision, she moved to the passenger side of the car and slipped in beside him. Cool air hit her as she pulled her seatbelt on. When he put the car in reverse, she said, “Should I let them know we’re leaving?”

He shook his head, resting an arm on the back of her seat as he backed out of the driveway. “Honestly, it’ll probably be hours before they realize you’re gone.” An edge of accusation in his words bit into her.

She fell silent, the hum of the engine accompanying them as Will drove toward the edge of town. The midday sun was an orange bulb above, cut only occasionally by thin ribbons of cotton clouds against the blue sky. Will’s vehicle smelled like him. It was a calming scent of leather and man. Right now, she was too nervous to enjoy it.

When they turned onto a gravel road, Adrienne chanced a curious glance at him. She swallowed as they passed the small sign that sent a chill down her back. Loose pebbles and shells crunched beneath the tires as they moved slowly through the woods.

The cemetery opened up before them, covering acres of gently rolling green meadow. He stopped the car and lowered the windows. The smell of fresh earth, heating in the summer sun, drifted inside—a stark reminder they were at a cemetery. Adrienne noticed the section to the left, obviously the oldest part of the graveyard. Though kept in good repair, the century-old headstones leaned with the weight of years, some sinking into the soft ground.

“So you want to fill me in on what happened back there?”

She swallowed. “Will I find myself in a shallow grave if I do?”

A buzzing sound drew her attention, and a bug shot into the window. Adrienne jumped, arms flailing. Will grabbed her hands, trapping them on her lap. “No, no, no. It’s just a honeybee.”

She stopped, but failed to see how that information should make her feel better. Bees had stingers.

The oval-shaped bug fluttered to a stop on the passenger visor.

Will chuckled. “A honeybee.” He shook his head and drew a deep breath.

Uncertain about . . . well, everything right now, Adrienne told him about Sara and William and the whole sordid story. “By the end, Pops was really happy she came.” Adrienne added that for good measure.

Silence followed. Flowers dotted the landscape and were bunched at the heads of several graves. Over the hillside, Adrienne could see for what seemed like miles.

She searched Will’s profile for an explanation as to why the cemetery.

“I haven’t been back here since my grandma died. I should be ashamed of that, but I never really understood why people visit graves.” His hands rested on the steering wheel until he reached to shut the engine off. “A grave represents death. Wouldn’t you want to remember somebody’s life?”

Adrienne opted to remain quiet, unsure whether he sought an answer or not. And unsure about how he felt about this whole thing. He was so unreadable sometimes.

He studied her for a moment, then fixed his gaze on a point in front of them. The engine clicked as the dust the car stirred up settled around them.

Will pointed to a hill beyond the cemetery. “See that?”

It was a gray house encircled by a white picket fence. From where they sat, they could see a family sitting in the yard. A small child played in a sandbox.

“That’s Pops’s house.” He stared for a few moments, as memories from his childhood seemed to flood him. “It took me three months to talk him into moving in with me. But I couldn’t bear to think of him spending every evening sitting on his back porch alone, staring at Grandma’s grave.”

If Adrienne could possibly feel any worse about what she’d inadvertently put this man through, she did.

He angled to look at her. “I didn’t bring you here to show you a cemetery, Adrienne. In fact, when I turned onto the road leading here, I wasn’t sure why. But . . . you gave my grandfather a gift today. In one afternoon, you gave Pops something I’ve been trying to give him for five years.”

When she searched his eyes, Will said simply, “Hope.” He reached over and lightly touched her cheek.

The warmth of his hand eased her anxiety.

“Thank you.” She’d taken a horrible risk. It could have gone either way. Adrienne exhaled the breath she’d been holding. “I know this can’t be easy for you. I can’t even imagine how hard it’s been to watch Pops grieve for his wife.”

Will nodded. “I just don’t want to see him hurt anymore. Come with me.”

They stepped out of the vehicle. It was a quiet afternoon at Wainwright Cemetery. He paused at the front of the car and leaned against the warm hood, so Adrienne did too. She looked out over the hundred or so tombstones that stood like miniature pillars of the lives each represented. It was eerily peaceful.

Will broke the silence. “Pops is so strong. He’s the strongest man I’ve ever known.”

She looked over at him, his crisp white dress shirt now unbuttoned at the neck, where a tie had undoubtedly been. He looked so good, and he was opening up to her, and that felt so right. And here they were, sharing intimate things and feelings, and that felt new and perfect. She wanted to bury her head in the hollow of his throat, as much for herself as for him. Before she realized it, she was leaning toward him. She quickly caught herself.

Oh. Oh dear. She chanced a look up to his face. He remained unfazed, staring out over the horizon. She took his preoccupation as an invitation to study the contour of his jaw, the way his throat curved, the capable shoulders. He began rolling up his sleeves, and she watched his arms where lean muscles flexed under tan skin. She was instantly reminded of how he’d looked wiping down the boat when drops of sweat gathered on his shoulders and chest. He had athletic muscles, now hidden under a dress shirt, but she’d seen them up close, so she let her mind play with the memory.

But the moment stretched and Adrienne had to wonder how she could be so caught up in him when he was all caught up in staring out over the cemetery. He didn’t even know she was still there. Didn’t know what he was doing to her. I’m invisible. The thought irritated her. “Thank you for not being angry with me.”

He leaned back, resting his palms on the hood of the car. Upper body outstretched, he moved his arm so it crisscrossed her back so closely they were nearly touching. It brought his face near hers. “You’re welcome,” he whispered, eyes locking on her mouth. And suddenly, he was all there, in her space and completely focused on her as if there were nothing in the world but the two of them.

Invisible was better.

His hot breath feathered against her throat. She needed to say something. Maybe something sexy. “I don’t think it’s bad that you haven’t been back here.” Oh, that was brilliant. The kind of words men can’t resist.

He slowly turned his eyes away from her to focus on the cemetery again.

“No?” he said. “My dad thinks it is. Of course, it’s just like him to be more concerned with the dead than the living.”

Adrienne frowned. She’d never heard Will speak of his father. For that matter, she had never heard Pops speak of his son. “Where is your dad?”

“My parents work for the Peace Corps. They’re in a place called Senegal in West Africa. They live there.” The last words were clipped, and though Adrienne was curious, now was not the time to press. The muscle in Will’s jaw flexed. He might be trying to sound flippant, but there was a distinct sadness in his tone.

A breeze moved from the hills, causing her hair to float into her eyes. Adrienne brushed at it. “Like I said, I don’t think it’s bad that you haven’t come here. The grieving process is different for everyone. The very thing that might bring peace to one person might bring despair to another. Besides, you’re here now.”

He nodded and looked at her. Will took his time searching her features, his gaze drifting down to her lips again.

The intensity of the moment was almost more than she could bear. She pressed her lips together, suddenly feeling self-conscious. It was like he was inspecting her. He seemed to have a preoccupation with her lips. That in itself made this whole exchange much more unnerving. He wasn’t stealing glances or being coy. He was unabashedly scrutinizing every inch of her face. There was a raw honesty to it that made her want to run. But even more, it made her want to stay right there.

And in that second, she made a choice. He was leaving the ball in her court.

Adrienne leaned closer.

Will’s eyes darkened. The muscles of his face tightened, but not in a bad way—in a sort of excited anticipation. He reached a hand to her cheek and brushed his thumb over her mouth, watching it slide against the skin. He swallowed, moistened his lips, and leaned in, stopping just an inch or so short of kissing her. This wasn’t him stopping her. No, this wasn’t stopping, this was him taunting her. But she held firm even though the intensity of his eyes beckoned. She didn’t move except to lick lips that had grown dry from the short little breaths she’d taken. That did it.

He closed the distance, mouth meeting and quickly taking hers. She melted into him. There was no gentle exploration. No soft kisses. He simply surged forward, his body moving, shifting so that he held her fully against him. He did this like he did everything. With purpose. With fervency. With passion.

Her eyes closed, her body consumed by such a simple thing as a first kiss. His chest rose against hers, and as she tilted her head, his arms closed around her more fully than before. Adrienne felt dizzy. She needed to breathe, but it was impossible. His hands found their way to her face and he cupped her cheeks, then pushed his face away to gaze at her. Suddenly his lips were gone from hers.

Adrienne sucked a deep breath, devouring the air around her. When her eyes fluttered open, there he was. Emerald eyes certain, unapologetic, and . . . happy. His hands were cool on her face, thumbs making tiny little circles as she tried to catch up to what had just happened. She was no fifteen-year-old. This was not her first first kiss. After all, she was a divorcée. What had he just done to her, and did he know what he’d done?

His eyes twinkled, and his mouth twitched on one side. Oh, yeah. He knew.

He came at her again, this time slowly, and dropped a peck on her mouth. He knew exactly. Then his face was gone from her direct vision. His hands were gone from her cheeks. He remained seated beside her, but the moment was all but a memory. And she was left alone with her racing heart.

“Where’s her grave?” Adrienne asked when she finally felt words were possible.

He leaned forward, dragging his arm from behind her and pointed off to the right. “Over there, under that tree.” It was a beautiful section of the cemetery, dappled with shade trees and calmingly inviting.

She turned to look at him. “Would you like to go visit it? I’ll go with you.” She took his hand in hers and added sweetly, “You’re safe with me.”

Will nodded a knowing smile at the words he’d spoken to her on more than one occasion. Though she might have been scared, she’d trusted him. Now he would do the same for her. And he’d deal with the kiss later. What it meant. Why he’d been unable to stop himself. This was definitely a gray area, and he wasn’t accustomed to gray. That was more his dad’s territory; his dad saw shades of gray where Will saw black and white. For instance, his dad thought it was okay for them to cancel out on Pops’s birthday—to him that landed somewhere in the gray area. For Will, you were either committed to the man who raised you or you were not. Missing the birthday of someone Pops’s age was unforgivable. Black and white. Period.

But with Adrienne, everything was different. He was having to find the gray space around the absolutes. She was delicate, still hurting from a bad divorce, and he couldn’t just grab and take what he wanted. No matter how badly he wanted it.

They walked away from the car, hand in hand, heading toward the big oak tree. The sun was hot on his back, but he barely noticed. It paled by comparison to the warmth that was seeping into his soul.