Out of Bight, Out of Mind

Chapter Seven

Their third morning at the resort, Emi awoke before her men and wished she could petition for another three days of R&R. They’d have to check out in a little over eight hours and return to the Bight to begin their mission.

But she knew trying to forestall the inevitable would be a futile effort and only make life harder on Aaron and the twins. They felt guilty enough about her discomfort, and that made her feel guilty.

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it was just a fluke, and when I meet him again, I’ll feel fine.

She didn’t believe it for a second, but it was something she held tightly in her mind to soothe her nerves.

She also realized she was obligated to give the F’ahrkay an exam, as per DSMC orders, because he was a new crew member. And set his chip to their frequency.

The thought of having to be on board the same vessel with him, much less touch him, turned her stomach.

She’d beg Ford to help her. Hell, he’s a medic, he can do the exam for me while I sit at my desk and pretended to supervise. How unhealthy could the guy be if he just got off another ship?

She carefully climbed out of bed without waking her men, pulled on a robe, and went to the terminal at the desk. There she accessed DSMC records and looked up F’ahrkay physiology.

The humanoid species was different than Terran humans, but not drastically so. They could eat a lot of the same foods and breathe the same air as humans. They had iron-based blood that acted nearly identically the same way human blood did to deliver oxygen throughout the body.

Their reproductive systems were the largest physiological difference. While some F’ahrkays were born female, most were born male. It didn’t matter, however, because for reproduction, they were basically asexual. It was a type of parthenogenesis, only with a male instead of a female. The males fertilized their own eggs, which were then deposited into a partner, male or female, for incubation. However, before the eggs could detach and be deposited, DNA from the partner was merged with the eggs, making them viable and allowing them to detach.

The records didn’t specify exactly how that happened. A notation indicated it was a culturally sensitive topic that the race didn’t like to talk about outside of their own.

Unfortunately, if F’ahrkays didn’t fertilize and transfer the eggs once they fully developed and were ready for the process, it meant they would die in less than two weeks. They had no control over that once the process started. Although it took the better part of a year from when the eggs began to grow and reached the point of fertilization and transfer.

F’ahrkays didn’t have traditional mates like Terrans, although they frequently had partners they entered into agreements with to cross-incubate eggs for each other. Out of each clutch of twenty to thirty eggs on average, usually less than five survived the transfer and incubation. Of those that survived, less than fifty percent made it to adulthood.

Emi closed the file and pinched the bridge of her nose. She still didn’t know a lot about the process, but what little she did know she considered too much information.

If she didn’t have to deliver any F’ahrkay babies, that was fine by her.

They spent the afternoon enjoying the spa and doing some last-minute shopping for little luxuries they didn’t normally have access to, like booze, makeup, and specialty foods. As they packed and prepared to check out that afternoon, Emi did her damnedest to put on a good front for her men.

I will suck this up. I will suck this up.

With her nerves increasingly on edge, Emi returned to the Bight with her men, unable to stop looking around her for any sign of the F’ahrkay as they approached the gangway leading to their ship.

“He’s not here yet,” Aaron finally said.

Heat filled her face. “What?”

He brought her hand to his lips and feathered them across her knuckles. “Kayehalau. He’s not here. He’s getting the rest of his personal effects from the other ship. He won’t be here until later this evening, when we do the final load and get his pod situated.” He pointed to what looked like a large, rectangular storage container, approximately twenty feet long and ten feet wide that sat with several other cargo stacks waiting to be loaded into the Bight’s hold.

“Oh.” Relief, followed by annoying embarrassment flooded her. I hope my face isn’t red.

She had to get a handle on this.

After they were aboard and had stowed their things in their quarters, the men began working through their departure checklists. Emi hunted Ford down in engineering, where he was checking the jump engine relays.

“Can I ask a favor?” she muttered.

He frowned. “Okay, spill it.”

“What?”

He rolled his eyes at her. “You don’t need to go through any convoluted preamble with us. You should know that by now.”

“Will you please do Kayehalau’s new crew exam for me?”

“Huh?”

She nodded.

“That’s sort of against regulations, isn’t it?”

She arched an eyebrow at him.

“I mean he’s not one of us. He’s a perfect little altar boy, from the looks of his record. I’d hate him to report us for that.”

“You’re a medic. I’ll sit there in the office and supervise.”

“By supervise, you mean try not to run for cover?”

“Please?”

He nodded. “Yeah, of course I will.” He shook the wrench in his hand at her. “I am not, however, digging around in his prostate, or whatever they have.”

She vigorously shook her head. “They don’t. And you don’t have to. I just need vitals and a basic, quick exam.” She ran her hands up and down her arms. They’d dropped the temp in the non-quarters parts of the ship already in preparation of being detached from the station’s utility umbilicals. She’d have to start wearing her sweatsuits again to keep warm. “I just…please?”

He pulled her in for a quick kiss. “Of course. We’ll say you wanted me to have experience with non-Terran species.”

“Hey, that’s pretty good!”

He laughed, releasing her with a gentle swat to her bottom. “Who do you think usually had to talk us out of trouble with the MPs?”

Emi didn’t have to be on the bridge when they departed. She shut herself in the hydro lab and forced herself to keep her mind off their new crew member.

Occasionally she felt glimpses of the dark dread, but nothing nearly as overwhelming as in Dobros’ office that first meeting.

Maybe it will be okay. Maybe she just needed a few days off to clear her head, and next time she met Kayehalau, she wouldn’t have a bad reaction.

Maybe I’ll start growing unicorns that can shit rainbows, too.

She cut off that line of thought.

When Ford called her on the ship’s com link and told her it was dinnertime, she forced a cheery tone she didn’t remotely feel as she told him she’d grab a bite to eat later.

When Aaron called her a minute later to tell her the same thing, she knew from his tone he wasn’t informing.

He was ordering.

Grumbling, she slowly made her way up to the crew area to the galley. The closer she drew, the worse she felt. Dark, ominous clouds filled her senses, growing stronger and stormier with every step she took toward the galley. When the doorway came into view, she spotted an extra chair now at their table, Kayehalau seated in it.

Caph spotted her first. He swooped in, grabbed her hand, and led her to the table. “Hon, eh, Dr. Emilia Hypatia, this is Kayehalau.”

She preemptively raised her hand in greeting to avoid shaking with him as she sat as far away from him as she could. Forcing a smile, she said, “Nice to meet you, Kayehalau.”

Not only did she still feel what she’d felt in the commander’s office, it felt ten times worse.

How the fuck am I supposed to share a ship with this dude for weeks?

She refused to cry in front of him and kept the smile plastered to her face.

“Dr. Hypatia, Captain Lucio has spoken with me about your discomfort. I apologize for that. I do not wish to add to it.”

Great, let’s toss guilt onto the pile that he wants to be nice to me. The F’ahrkay’s voice sounded placid, calm, and with little intonation. She wondered if they always sounded like that, or if he was just making an attempt not to freak her out even more.

“It’s okay. It’s not your problem, it’s mine.” She reached for the salad and scooped some onto her plate as another feeling hit her senses. Worry.

Glancing at her three men, she realized they had intently focused on her. “Guys, dinner. Eat. I have a lot of stuff to do.”

As one, her three men relaxed.

Okay. I’ll fake it ’til I make it.

But she still wasn’t examining him.

Emi decided the best way to handle it was to get it out of the way as soon as possible so it wasn’t hanging over her head. After dinner, once the galley was cleaned up, she told Ford and Kayehalau to meet her in sick bay. She sensed Aaron’s curiosity over that, but he didn’t question her.

She had come up with the perfect reason, besides Ford’s ready excuse, not to do the exam herself. When the two arrived in sick bay, she had the drug synthesizer opened, with several cases of supplies stacked around it.

“Um, Emi, what are you doing?” Ford asked.

“We picked up more supplies from the base. I need to get them added.” She nodded to her desk, where a medchart handheld sat on the corner. “There’s his file. Just the basics.”

She didn’t turn around all the way to look at Kayehalau when he spoke. “You are not performing the exam, Dr. Hypatia?”

Fighting tension in her neck and shoulders that bordered on painful as she struggled against the foreboding emotional cloud now filling her sick bay, she forced a light tone she didn’t remotely feel. “I need to get these loaded. Perishable, you know, once they’re opened. Ford is completely capable of doing the exam. And he’s been wanting more experience with non-Terran species.”

Now she looked, playing her ace. “That’s not a problem, is it?”

“No, Doctor. That is not a problem.”

If she wasn’t already struggling to hold on to her composure, his eerily placid tone would have freaked her out.

She listened while Ford performed the exam, following the chart she’d left open for him for reference. At first, she didn’t realize Kayehalau had spoken to her.

“Emi,” Ford said, “did you hear him?”

“Sorry?”

“Is that a Corghistall Minax 80 synthesizer?” Kayehalau asked.

Something to talk about that doesn’t freak me out! “Yes. Does everything from analgesics to antipsychotics, narcotics, antibiotics, IV solutions—everything. Limited quantities on the rarer compounds, of course, due to the range it covers, but for a small crew, it’s more than enough.”

“Interesting. I have heard of them, but have yet to serve on a vessel with one. The other vessels all had smaller synthesizers and some premixed drug stocks.”

“Can’t hop over to a drugstore on an explore. We are, in essence, a hospital as well as a research lab.”

“May I have your permission to study it further later? When you are finished, of course. I do not wish to interrupt you. Or I would be most happy to help you if it would be of assistance.”

Guilt, guilt, guilt. Despite not getting used to the dank cloud, Emi tried to hold on to rational thoughts that the guy really was trying to be nice.

“Sure, no problem. The manual is in the general crew computer, medical folder, of course. You can access it at any time. The machine, too. I don’t keep it locked because we’re a small crew. That way the guys don’t need me if they need an aspirin or something.” She cleared her throat. “And, of course, if there’s something you needed, you could get it.”

“Thank you for your consideration, Dr. Hypatia. I shall avail myself of that. They have always fascinated me.”

Ten minutes later, Ford finished up, and Kayehalau departed for his quarters. Emi felt like fainting with relief as the dark cloud disappeared with him. As she blew out a long breath, Ford knelt next to her on the floor. In his eyes, as well as in his soul, she read concern.

“You all right?”

“I’ll live. Maybe.”

He brushed a strand of hair away from her forehead. “It’s not permanent. Once the assignment’s over, he’s gone.”

“That’s what I keep telling myself.”

She’d hoped Kayehalau had merely been making small talk in an attempt to put her at ease, but over the next several days, it seemed like every time she turned around in sick bay, he was there asking her questions about the synthesizer until she couldn’t take it anymore.

Four days in, not only had the darkness she felt around Kayehalau not eased up any, it grew worse. Until one afternoon she’d just settled in at her desk to write up her daily report when he showed up.

Before conscious thought hit her, she found herself on her feet and out the door. She fought her tears all the way back to their quarters, nearly at a dead run by the time she arrived. She let out a startled squeak as she almost ran face-first into Caph, who was on his way out the door.

He grabbed her. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

She shook her head and tried to pull away, but he wouldn’t let her. “Honey, talk to me. What’s wrong?”

Hating herself, she shook her head and choked back tears. Yes, there was something twelve kinds of wrong about Kayehalau, and she couldn’t put into words exactly what it was. But it didn’t mean the professional side of her wasn’t pissed off at herself for not being able to get past it.

He effortlessly scooped her into his arms and carried her over to their bed where he snuggled with her until she could speak. When she finally pulled herself together, she felt like even more of an idiot, not to mention she’d left a huge snot puddle on the front of Caph’s fresh uniform shirt.

He brushed her hair away from her face. “You ready to talk about it now?”

“I can’t help it. I can’t help the way I feel around him. I know I’m a doctor and should be above this, but the trained empath in me says fuck that, he’s bad news.”

She didn’t miss his sad sigh. “It’s okay, babe.” He gently rocked her against him. “I know this is bothering you in more ways than one. We don’t expect you to ignore what you’re feeling. And we know you’re trying your best. It’s all we can ask of you.”

Aaron had a talk with Kayehalau about giving Emi some space and not going to the sick bay unless he really needed something. But then it seemed no matter where she was on the ship, she inevitably ran into Kayehalau.

She started hiding in the hydro lab and sick bay when she wasn’t in their quarters. She didn’t want to be anywhere near Kayehalau. Something about him didn’t just rub her the wrong way. It felt as if she was trying to pet a porcupine backward. The black cloud around his aura didn’t get easier to tolerate. If anything, it grew thicker, darker, and harder for her to tune out as the days passed.

She didn’t want to think she was racist—or xenophobic, as the case might be—but she couldn’t help it.

Unless Aaron gave her a direct order to work with the guy, she would stay holed up in her secondary sanctuary of the sick bay, or her primary sanctuary, the hydro lab. But it seemed pretty much every time she headed down to the hydro lab now, she invariably ran into Kayehalau in the corridors and was forced to deal with him.

Bucky sat where she’d placed him on her desk in sick bay and stared at her with sightless eyes. She picked him up with a sigh, for once wistfully wishing she had one of the Kal’moran’s deadly spiderlike tals’tophk to sic on Kayehalau. “If only I could get rid of him that easy, dude.” She stroked the rubber spider before returning it to his place on her desk.

Ford brought her an afternoon snack on day six of the siege, as she was beginning to unkindly think of it. “You want some company, babe?” He set the plate on the desk for her.

She reached out for the cookies and snagged one, her stomach grumbling as she nibbled at it. “I’m sorry I’ve been scarce.”

“Scarce, nothing. You’ve been practically invisible.” The cookie was delicious, moist and sweet and fruity.

“These are good. What are they?”

He shrugged. “Kayehalau made them for us.”

Her stomach rolled and she dropped the cookie back onto the plate before rubbing her hand on the leg of her uniform trousers. “No thanks.”

“Come on, babe. How long are you going to be like this?”

“Until he’s off our freaking ship. I’m telling you, Ford, there’s something wrong about him.”

She heard his unmistakable sigh. “Babe—”

“No, I’m not overreacting.”

“You’re more sensitive than me and Aar and Caph. Is it possible it’s just your empath senses wigging out because he’s an alien? And we’re jumping right now. You always feel on edge during a jump. Plus, you haven’t had any real-life experiences with F’ahrkays. Maybe your mind keeps thinking back to the sim session, or to what happened on Kal’moran.”

She frowned despite grudgingly knowing he could be right. “You don’t think I hadn’t thought about it like that already?”

“I’m not saying you have to be bosom buddies with the guy, but he’s only here to do his job. You’re a professional. Try cutting him a little slack.”

Her stomach grumbled again. She’d done an about-face and missed lunch when she’d heard Kayehalau talking in the galley with Caph earlier.

She tentatively reached out for the cookie she’d nibbled on and took another bite. “They are good cookies,” she said.

“He knows you’re nervous around him. We explained the bare-bones basics about what we went through in the sim and on Kal’moran, and that it could be coloring your attitude. Also, about how your empath sensitivity sometimes makes situations uncomfortable for you. He understands. He’s really a nice guy.”

She slowly chewed the cookie as she glared at him. “You on his payroll now or what?”

“No, I just want you happy. Every time you’re out of this room or our quarters it’s like you’re looking over your shoulder. He’s trying to be nice to you.”

“Yeah, well, tell him to lay off. I’d prefer he not hunt me down every time I try to go to the hydro lab. It wigs me out that I’m always bumping into him. Aaron said he’d give the dude orders to stay away from me.”

“I’ll ask Aaron to have another talk with him. I’m sure he’s not doing it on purpose.” He put on the sad puppy dog eyes. “Please, babe?”

“All right, fine. I’ll try harder.” She suppressed an involuntary shiver, but she reached out for another cookie after finishing the first one. “See? Tell him I said they’re yummalicious.”

“Sarcasm doesn’t become you, babe.”

“Yeah, well, count it as me attempting to be nice.” She took another bite. “It’s all you’re going to get for now.”