Out of Bight, Out of Mind

Chapter Eight

By the end of Kayehalau’s second week on board the Bight, Emi found herself indulging in fantasies of sending him out an air lock, or forgetting him on a planet’s surface.

She also didn’t like that even though he was chipped, she couldn’t effortlessly track his movements throughout the ship like she could her men. She had to use one of the ship’s scanners to find him. Even when they emerged from the jump to take up orbit around the planet where Kayehalau would test his equipment, the ominous feeling didn’t abate.

Answers that question. It meant it was Kayehalau and not the jump drive.

As the days passed, Emi grew more resentful of not being able to be herself in what she considered her home. She also hated that in the nearly three weeks since Kayehalau joined their crew, she’d apparently lost her sense of equilibrium on board. She felt scattered, on edge. There were even some nights she lay in bed and it felt as if the darkness hovered in the corridor on the other side of their door.

As if it were stalking her.

As if he were stalking her.

It doesn’t make sense. The scientist tried to maintain her calm. The empath, however, wanted to run, screaming, for safety.

She tried to put all that aside in the name of science and following orders. That didn’t end the war between her two selves, which seemed determined to destroy each other at the sake of her own sanity.

One day, Kayehalau had spent the entire day down in the cargo area working on his equipment and doing tests. Emi had enough of a respite from trying to shield herself from the nasty feelings she got round him that she almost felt playful.

At dinnertime, Aaron and Ford were in the galley cooking while Caph stood watch on the bridge. Emi wandered into the galley and wrapped her arms around Aaron’s waist from behind.

He looked over his shoulder at her and noted her smile. “You look like you’re feeling good.”

“I wouldn’t say good. Better. At least for today.” She stood on tiptoe and nibbled on the back of his neck.

“Ooh, I think someone’s feeling frisky, he says hopefully,” Ford teased.

“Yeah, actually, I am.” She ground her hips against Aaron’s ass. She hadn’t felt like making love with them in over two weeks, usually curling around a pillow and simply watching despite them gently trying to get her interest.

Ford finished chopping potatoes and dumped them in a pot of boiling water to cook. Then he wiped his hands and grabbed her, pulling her to him and running his hands up under her shirt. “Well, what do you know about that?”

He kicked a chair out from under the table and sat in it, pulling her onto his lap, facing him. He pushed her shirt up and pulled it off over her head. He let it fall to the floor and cupped her breasts through her bra. “Hello, buddies. I’ve missed you.”

She giggled and threw her arms around his neck. He freed both her breasts and bent his lips first to one, then the other, sucking on her nipples and drawing them into tight peaks.

Aaron put the casserole he’d been assembling into the oven and walked over to stand behind them and join them. She looked up at him as he pressed in behind her and gathered her hair in one hand.

“Hi, Cap.”

Aaron smiled down at her. “Now you’ve gone and got me all horny. You realize that, right?”

“I hope so.” A sudden darkness flitted across her mind, but she shoved it away. She didn’t want to think about Kayehalau right then. “Getting you horny was kind of my plan.”

“Mmm, I love a woman with a plan,” Ford mumbled around one of her breasts.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full, Ford,” Aaron chastised. He tipped her head back so she could feel his hard erection through his trousers. “You feel like taking care of that, too?”

“Of course I do.”

Aaron prompted her to stand, disappointing the hell out of Ford.

This was something else she’d missed, their playfulness with her and with each other.

I haven’t been good company lately.

For that she did feel guilty. Determined to try to make it up to them a little, she started doing a sexy striptease for them, working on her bra, removing it, and dropping it in Ford’s lap. Then she kicked off her shoes and started unfastening her uniform trousers, sliding them down over her hips until they lay in a puddle on the floor, and she was left standing there in her panties and socks.

Another wave of darkness, thicker than the last, tried to push in. She pushed back just as hard and hooked a thumb into the waistband of her panties. She turned her back to her men and was about to pull her panties all the way down when an overwhelming darkness pressed in. She looked over her shoulder and spotted Kayehalau walking toward the other doorway.

With a terrified shriek, and before her men could question her, she bolted out of the galley and to their quarters, where she locked herself in, Ford and Aaron calling after her.

Confused at first, Aaron fought back a wave of irritation and anger when Ford scooped up her clothes and followed Emi back to their quarters. He waited until Ford was out of earshot to turn on Kayehalau.

“No offense, but you have really bad timing.”

The F’ahrkay stood there, his expression never changing from calm serenity. “I beg your pardon, Aaron?”

Aaron blew out an aggravated breath. “Nothing. Never mind. What did you want?”

“I came up to see if I could be of assistance preparing the evening meal.”

He started to say something when Ford returned, looking sad. He caught Aaron’s eye and shook his head.

Fuck.

“Look, we appreciate you wanting to help, but it’s not necessary.”

“Did I hear Dr. Hypatia in here earlier?”

“Yes, you did. It’s nothing personal, but she’s a trained empath. Whether it’s something she’s picking up from the equipment, or because she’s not used to dealing with a F’ahrkay, or whatever it is, she is extremely uncomfortable around you.”

“I apologize for that. That is not my intention.”

Now Aaron felt like shit. Caught between a temp crewman and his wife, he was responsible for both their safety and well-being, but his loyalty lay with Emi. “I know that. But like I told you before, this isn’t something that she can just get used to and it’ll get better for her. It seems to get worse as time goes on.”

“So she was in here?”

“Yeah,” Ford grumbled as he checked the potatoes. “And we were about to get some from her for the first time in—”

“Ford!” Aaron snapped.

Ford’s head whipped around as he met Aaron’ gaze. Then his eyes glanced over at the F’ahrkay before returning to meet Aaron’s. He slammed the lid back onto the pot. “Fuck this shit,” he grumbled then headed back down the hall to their quarters. Aaron leaned around the corner enough he spotted Emi’s clothes in a pile in front of their door. Ford knocked and pleaded with her, finally resorting to using the override panel and punching in an access code to force the door open.

After shooting a final glare Aaron’s way, he scooped Emi’s clothes up and went in, closing the door behind him.

Aaron drew in a sharp breath through his teeth and turned to the F’ahrkay again. “Please, let’s just make this easy on everyone, okay? If you want to know how you can help, then get me on the ship’s com link before you come up here, and I’ll give you the all clear if it is.”

“I am sorry I am a burden, Aaron.”

He scrubbed his face with his hands. “You’re not a burden. You have to understand my position, however. I’m not trying to keep you isolated and alone for the whole damn trip, but she’s our med officer and our wife. And she is physically and emotionally uncomfortable when you’re in close proximity. So I’m doing my best to walk a fine line between keeping her needs met as well as not making you a pariah. But I need a little help here, okay?”

“I understand, Aaron. I apologize for causing her discomfort.”

Kayehalau’s tone and inflection made Aaron pause at first, but then he walked over to check the casserole. “Not your fault,” he mumbled as he peeked into the convection oven. “Just…just give her breathing room. Stay away from the hydro lab and the sick bay, because those are her domains.”

“I will do as you ask, Aaron. And again my apologies for her reaction. If there is anything I can do to make it up to the doctor, please let me know. I would appreciate the chance to alleviate her discomfort.” He turned and left the galley.

Aaron didn’t try to figure Kayehalau out. Maybe it’s just the way they are. He busied himself finishing dinner preparations.

Ford wanted to rip the F’ahrkay’s head off at his shoulders for interrupting their sexy time.

Correction, for making Emi uncomfortable and terrifying the crap out of her. Hell, it was the first time she’d come out of her shell in nearly two weeks and had acted almost like her normal self.

When he followed her the first time, she’d locked the door and at his knock yelled at him to go away. Then he had to get out of the galley, away from Kayehalau, and went back to their quarters.

This time, he wouldn’t be refused. Especially when the sound of her sobbing on the other side of the door nearly ripped his heart out of his chest. “I’m coming in, Emi.” He opened the override panel and punched in the code. Gathering her things, he walked in and shut the door behind him, locking it.

His heart nearly broke at the sight of her curled into a tight ball and sobbing in the center of their bed. “Oh, sweetie.” He dropped her things and rushed over to her. Pulling her into his arms he held her, rocking her. “It’s okay,” he murmured. “Let it out. It’s not your fault.”

“Why do I feel like this?” she sobbed. “I hate this. I hate feeling like I’m out of my fucking mind!”

“I know, baby. I know. It’s okay. I’m here.” Now wasn’t the time to talk. He only wanted to console her, get her through this, until she felt more stable. Hell, if she wanted, he’d move down to the hydro lab with her, if it meant that she’d have some measure of peace.

When Aaron knocked on the door a half hour later, Emi had dozed in his arms. He gently untangled himself from her and let Aaron in. He carried a large tray with their dinners and glasses of iced tea on them.

He set the tray on a dresser, looking sad when he spotted Emi curled up on the bed. “How is she?” he whispered.

Ford shrugged, then waved Aaron into the head so they could shut the door and talk without her hearing them.

“She’s wigged out. And what’s worse, she knows it’s not normal for her to feel like this. It’s tearing her up inside that she can’t get past it. She feels guilty and horrible and childish, but she can’t ignore what her empath senses are telling her.”

Aaron crossed his arms and stared at the floor. “For what it’s worth, I talked to Kayehalau again. He says he’s sorry for the effect he’s having on her.”

Ford snorted. “That and five credits won’t even get your cock spit on in a brothel.”

“What the fuck do you want me to do? I can’t boot him simply because he freaks her out. And it’s not fair to him for me to banish him to the fucking cargo hold when he hasn’t done a damn thing wrong. He doesn’t have as much as a poor performance review in his file. Tell me what the fuck I’m supposed to do, Ford. You think this job is so fucking easy? I’m the goddamned captain. I’m not about to put him through shit just because of her issues. You’ve been on the wrong end of an asshole captain, and I refuse to be like that.”

Ford threw his hands up in the air. “I don’t know what to tell you. All I know is it really fucking sucks seeing her in so much pain and being helpless to do anything about it.”

“Don’t you think I know that? I’m not a heartless bastard.”

“I didn’t say you were.”

“Then cut me some slack here and help me figure out what the fuck to do.”

“I don’t know what to do, Aaron! She doesn’t even know what to do, and she’s the damn doctor. If she knows she shouldn’t be feeling like this, don’t you think there’s a bigger problem here?”

“Yeah, but all I know is we have orders to follow and unless she’s in physical danger from him, which she’s obviously not, I can’t kick him off just because he makes her uncomfortable. We all need to just suck it up and help her through it the best we can and not be dicks to the guy.”

Aaron left to clean up the galley while Ford went to wake Emi up for dinner.

Emi awoke with a start from a bad dream when Ford gently shook her. “Hey, babe, dinner.”

She pulled the sheet around her, nervously scanning their cabin.

“It’s okay. We’re alone.” He handed her a plate. “Aaron brought it for us.”

She felt guilty. “You stayed here with me?”

He sat across from her. “Of course. I’m not going to leave you alone feeling like that.”

She tried to make herself eat despite no appetite. “How do I get through this?”

“I wish I had an answer for you. Maybe the three of us can gang up on Aaron and make him order the guy to cargo for the duration.”

A wave of guilt swept through her. “No,” she mumbled. “Don’t do that. That’s not right. The problem is me, not him. Since I’m obviously the only one who has a problem with him, I need to be the one to deal with it, not him.”

“I wish I could fix this for you.”

She looked into his blue eyes, which held nothing but love and concern for her. “Me, too.”