PANIC

Chapter Ten - ROOK

“Did you have a nice birthday, Rook?” Ronin unzips my dress and I wriggle out of it, just an itty-bitty bit drunk. He laughs as I wobble. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

Once the dress is gone all I have on are my panties. I watch helplessly as Ronin hangs the gown up. “This was the best birthday of my life. And thank you so much for the camera. You did not have to do that for me. But I love it. I’m gonna start filming tomorrow and I’ll never stop. Ever.”

That camera is like something else. It looks like a mini-version of the cameras the film crew use for the show. I have no idea how to use it but how lucky am I? I have a film team at my disposal to teach me. I smile at this as Ronin guides me over to the bed and pushes me until I sit down. Once I get some momentum going it’s hard to stop and I end up lying all the way back.

“I’m drunk,” I say, laughing.

The lights go out and then Ronin’s bare skin slips up next to my own. “I know. It’s a good thing we had mind-blowing sex before the party.” He nuzzles into my neck and pulls me close to him, just like he does every night. “I love you, Rook. I hope you know that.”

I sigh into his perfect muscular chest and then trace my fingertips down the length of his stomach. “I know that.”

And that’s it for Rook. My night is over.

I wake early, dying of thirst. I swallow down my cotton mouth and disentangle myself from Ronin.

“Where’re you going, Gidget?” he asks groggily.

“Water,” I croak.

I get up, slip on a dirty t-shirt draped over a chair near the window, and pad out to the kitchen and grab a bottled water. I gulp it all down and then fill it back up with the tap water and do it again. My gaze wanders over to the dining room table and I spy my presents. I have no memory of carrying them upstairs, but here they are.

I got a bunch of stuff. Some clothes, girly hair accessories, and some sapphire earrings from Elise and Antoine. A journal and two tickets to the opera from Ford and his pet. Spencer gave me a custom-painted black leather biker jacket with zippers. It has Gidget painted down one arm and Blackbird down the other. Like each of these men have made a claim on me. The back of the jacket is a giant blackbird logo with the words Shrike Fucking Bikes painted inside a red circle that surrounds the bird.

Even Veronica got me a gift. A gift certificate for a free tattoo at her shop up in Fort Collins.

But it was Ronin’s gift that touched my heart.

The camera. A camera I can make movies with. I open up the box and start unpacking. It’s got interchangeable lenses. I don’t know a whole lot about camcorders, but I do know that it’s not normal to be able to change lenses on them. Which means this camera is a BFD. When I check the clock it’s only five fifteen AM. I do a search for my phone and find it on the little table over my the front door, and then call Ford.

“Miss Corvus, we do not have a date this morning.”

I laugh. “I know, Ford. But I’m looking at my camera that Ronin got me and I want to start filming now. I have things to capture before I leave this place. Can you come help me set it up?”

“Did you charge the battery last night?” he asks with doubt.

“Um, no,” I say, disappointed.

“OK, well, I’ll grab a camera and bring it to you. How’s that?”

Happiness overtakes the disappointment. I guess he’s serious about this friend stuff. “Thank you.”

“Meet me on the terrace in fifteen minutes.”

I wash up, change into some jeans and one of the Shrike Rook shirts Spencer made for me, and then pull on my red Converse shoes. I keep waiting for these things to fall apart, but they never do. They have holes in the top near the toe and there’s even a little hole in the bottom of the left one. So my feet totally get wet in the rain. But I don’t care. Besides the backpack I left my last foster home with, these ratty shoes are the last thing I own from my life before Jon. I take it as a sign that the old me is still around. Somewhere.

By the time I get to the terrace Ford is ready. He’s got a camera like mine upstairs and he’s pointing it at me as I walk towards him.

“You’re up, Rook. I’m your cameraman. Say what’s on your mind.”

“Oh, now I’m nervous.” I giggle. “OK, well, I just want to show…” I stop and take a deep breath and start again. “I just want to capture what’s happened to me. What this place did for me and how it all started.”

“All what started, Rook?” Ford asks from behind the camera.

“The journey back.” He says nothing to this, just waits for me. “The journey back to myself.” And then I point to the swing. “And it all started right there.” I walk over to the swing and take a seat. “It started under these trees last spring. When they were filled with flowers and they smelled so incredible, the scent was almost overwhelming. And the very first night I spent here at Chaput Studios Ronin pushed me in this swing.” I look up at Ford and he’s smiling. I lean back and kick my feet out in front of me, pumping my legs to gain some momentum to push myself in the swing.

“And then he started asking me personal questions and I jumped off.” I jump and land on my feet this time. “That was my very first night in the garden apartment. That’s how my new life started.” I take Ford over there and we go inside and I sit in each room and tell the camera some memory about it. Afterward we go back out on the terrace and he shoots me standing with a view of Coors Field behind me and I talk about our running.

We go through the whole studio. We hit the two-story-tall windows where I had my test shoot with Antoine, the dressing room where Ronin gave me all those clothes, and the salon where Elise washed my hair. Then make our way upstairs where a sleeping Ronin jumps up in surprise when we enter the bedroom.

“What’s going on, Gidge?” he asks, still groggy.

“I’m recording my life here with you for posterity, that’s what.” I jump into bed with him and Ford sets the camera down on a chair and walks away.

“I’ll see you two this afternoon. That camera is still on, Rook.”

Ronin tackles me and rolls me over on my back. “You’re trying to make a sex tape with me?”

I laugh. “No! I just want a little film of us in private. That’s all.”

“Mmmm,” he growls. “But in private we do lots of naughty things, so that means right now we have to be sweet.”

“I like sweet.”

“Me too,” he says, nipping my earlobe until I squeal. “I’m gonna miss you real bad, Gidget. I’m gonna go crazy down here thinking about you up there with Spencer and Ford.”

“And I’m gonna go crazy up there thinking about you down here with Clare and the GIDGET models.”

“There’s only one Gidget for me and that’s you.”

“And I belong to you, Ronin Flynn.”

He flops back and pulls me onto his chest. “God, I want to hear you say that again.”

“I belong to Ronin.”

His lips find mine, kissing me softly, his hand slipping inside my t-shirt to tickle my stomach. “And I belong to Rook.”