PANIC

Chapter Seven - ROOK

“What are you laughing about?” Ronin asks later as his hands slip around my waist and slide down to rub my stomach.

I’m standing over by my old garden apartment looking down at the people on the street. It’s Friday night, so it’s really busy. I turn to face him and casually drape my arms over his shoulders. “You know me pretty well, Larue. I thought for sure dinner would be something funky and French.”

He chuckles. “It was either salads with chicken on them or hamburgers. And guess who made the final decision?”

“Um, the pregnant lady over there stuffing her face with strawberry shortcake?”

“That’d be the one.”

We both watch Elise chew and chat with Josie at the same time. Antoine is also watching her from across the terrace and you can just tell he’s dying to say something to her about talking with her mouth full. He hates that. But his hand scrubs his scratchy chin for a moment and he thinks better of it. Wise man.

“I’m falling hard for you, Rook. I hope you know that.”

I look up at this incredible man and I have no words for what I feel. I’m not falling for Ronin, I’m laid out flat on my face. He is the perfect man. He’s put up with so much from me. He’s stood by me when I insisted on making mistakes, and planned an entire con job so that Jon would get his karmic payback. He deserves so much more than the indecision and distance I’ve given him over the past few months.

“I told you a while back that I’d like to belong to you, Ronin. Someday.”

His hand cups my face and his thumb traces the curve of my chin.

“I think someday has come and gone because I think I’ve always belonged to you. From the very first moment we met in the stairwell, I wanted you. And even though it took me a while to understand my feelings, I guess I’m better late than never.”

He laughs and pulls me into a hug. “I’ll take late, Gidget. I’ll take late.”

Clare and Ford walk past us and then enter the garden apartment. It just occurs to me that the lights have been in inside there the entire night. “What’s with those two?” I ask Ronin.

“Exit interviews for the pilot. Ford figured he’d have all of us together tonight, so why not do interviews. Two birds kinda thing.”

“Oh.” No one told me about any exit interview, but shit. No one tells me anything unless I ask. Maybe I should start asking? “But why Clare, then? She wasn’t in the show.”

“Well, technically she was. Since you were the female star and I’m your boyfriend. And I kept leaving you to go see her.”

“Wait, so all that’s gonna be in the show?” Oh, fuck. That sucks. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Most of my angst came from jealousy of Clare. I just didn’t think she’d be quizzed on it at the end. “Did you get interviewed yet?”

“Ford said I’m last. He needs your reactions first or some shit like that.”

“He’s setting us up. We should refuse to do them, Ronin. I’m not gonna do it. My contract is over, isn’t it?”

He squeezes me tight. “Did you get paid yet?”

“You know I didn’t.”

“Then it’s not over, Gidge. Ford likes you, he won’t set you up. Just answer his questions. Lie if you want. No one cares. It’s a stupid reality show.”

But that’s not true. Ford would set me up. Ronin never knew the extent of our conversations while he was busy with Clare last summer. Ford never came out and said he wanted to date me, but he did hint around to wanting something from me. I’m not really sure what, especially after this morning’s conversation about his girlfriends. Not to mention the collared pet he brought with him to my party.

Ronin and I wander back into the crowd and chat casually with people, me leaning into his chest and his arms wrapped around me. He talks with Spencer and Veronica and I nod my head pretending to pay attention, but I’m focused on the garden apartment. The curtains are sheer, but I can’t see any movement in there. He must be interviewing her in the other room.

Clare comes out and Ford calls for Spencer. Veronica claps for this and then looks over in my direction after Spencer walks off. “I get to be interviewed too, Rook! Because I saved your life and took a bullet for you!”

“Cool!” I say, but I’m still thinking about my private conversations with Ford. What if he brings them up on camera? What will I say? I didn’t do anything wrong, I never cheated or anything. But Ronin might see my omission of facts as lying. We circulate around the terrace, talking to different people. I watch Veronica go in after Spencer. Then Antoine, then Elise. Ronin still seems so unconcerned, but by the time Ford dismisses Elise and looks over in my direction, my nerves are shot.

I look up at Ronin but both he and Spencer are laughing hysterically about something. I look back at Ford.

He beckons me with a finger.

Fuck.

I break away from Ronin and he pats my ass and says, “Have fun, Gidge.”