Passion Unleashed

Chapter 17

New York in the winter could be bone-chillingly cold, but the temperature didn’t bother Gem as she and Kynan walked to Eidolon and Tayla’s high-rise condo. Heck, nothing was bothering her now. Though she and Ky hadn’t been able to make it back to her apartment, she still felt a buzz of promise after the romantic hour they’d spent in the hospital.

Then E had gone and ruined everything by insisting that everyone meet at his place. Whatever he was worked up about sounded bad.

E answered the door. “Tay and Runa are in the living room with the babies. Shade and I are doing our best to not burn steaks in the kitchen.”

Kynan peeled out of his jacket, and Gem took a moment to admire how his black sweater molded to his toned body. “I’ve cooked steaks on Humvee engines before. I’ll help you out.”

“That’s not a ringing endorsement, man,” E said, but he cocked his head toward the kitchen. “Come on.”

Gem frowned. “You said we were meeting to talk.”

“Bad news always seems better on a full stomach,” E said and disappeared down the hall, Kynan on his heels.

Gem hurried to the living room, which looked like a Toys “” Us had exploded in it. Tay and Runa looked up from where they sat on the floor playing with the boys. It was impossible to tell any of them apart, except the newest addition, who was a little smaller than the others, pinker, and snuggled securely in Runa’s arms.

Shade and Runa were thrilled to have the infant, especially now that Wraith’s future was in question. Having a little piece of him seemed to be a comfort to everyone, and the little demon would be given all the love that Wraith had missed out on as a child.

God, Runa looked so happy, so content. Gem felt a tug in her abdomen.

Tayla patted the floor next to her. “Cop a squat and grab a kid.”

“There are more than enough to choose from.” Gem eyed the three babies lying on blankets, their little hands clutching soft, colorful toys.

Tay dug a bottle out of a diaper bag. “I don’t know how you do it, Runa. I’d go crazy with just one.”

Runa smiled down at the infant in her arms. “You’ll change your mind when you’re holding your own.”

“I doubt it,” Tay muttered. She and Eidolon wanted kids, but they were willing to wait. Like, thirty years, if Tayla had her way.

“So Wraith doesn’t know about the baby yet?”

“No.” Runa stroked the infant’s cheek. “He’s got so much to deal with right now. Even when things do calm down, it’s going to be hard to tell him. Shade’s afraid he’ll short-circuit or something, if he thinks he has to be responsible for an innocent life in some way.”

“He doesn’t. You’ll make sure he knows that, right?” Tayla scrounged around in the bag again and pulled out Mickey. The ferret chattered indignantly, stole a pacifier, and scampered under the couch.

“Of course. We want to raise this little guy. But can you imagine how hard it’ll be for Wraith to come to family functions and have to see his own son growing up without him? And what about when the baby starts asking questions? What do we tell him? That his father didn’t want him?”

“I don’t think you’re being fair to Wraith,” Gem said quietly, and Tay and Runa stared like she’d just declared that Sheoul, with its dark, icy outer caverns and its molten lava core, was a primo vacation spot. “Come on. We don’t know how he’ll react. He’s always been unpredictable.”

“Yes, and that’s what you want around children,” Tay said dryly.

Gem shrugged. “I just think you need to give him a chance.”

Runa sighed. “I know I’m being hard on him. He’s got a protective streak a mile long, and he’s been kind to me, but I don’t know if any of that makes him good father material.”

“Speaking of father material,” Tay said, sliding Gem a curious look, “how are you and Kynan doing?”

“Father material?” Runa leaned forward and lowered her voice. “Are you and Kynan… expecting?”

Gem nearly choked on her own tongue. “No way. Are you kidding?” She glanced over her shoulder, half afraid he’d walked up behind her.

“But you want kids someday, don’t you?” Runa asked.

“Yes, but…” But what? She did want them, but what kind of world would she be bringing them up in? Demon or human?

A knot formed in her gut, tightening and squeezing until she could barely breathe. She’d grown up a product of two worlds, belonging to both and neither, and she swore she’d never put a child through that.

Heck, it was dangerous to put a child through that. Some demons, like Sensors, her adoptive parents’ species, existed for the sole purpose of hunting down pregnant human women whose babies were of mixed species, and killing the infants. Other demon species made it their mission to destroy half breeds, just for sport.

Gem herself had been marked for death and would have been destroyed had her parents not been desperate for a child when it became obvious that they couldn’t conceive. Tayla had been spared only because Gem’s adoptive parents hadn’t sensed demon in her and had left Tayla with their human mother.

She eyed Tayla and Runa, ashamed of the spike of jealousy she experienced at the knowledge that they didn’t share her problem. Their children were—and would be—purebred Seminus demons.

“What’s wrong?” Tayla asked. “Do you think Kynan wouldn’t want kids with you?”

“I think it’s too early to even think about.” But no, she didn’t think Kynan would want kids with her. It had taken him forever to have sex with a demon. Having children with one? He’d probably castrate himself before he allowed that to happen.

Runa thrust Wraith’s son into Gem’s arms. “We’ll have to let him see how great you are with them, then.”

Gem’s eyes stung as she looked down into the tiny, scrunched face of the baby snuggled against her. His little fingers grabbed hers, and she felt that tug again, low in her womb. Heavy footsteps announced the arrival of one of the guys, and sure enough, Kynan crouched next to her, a glass of soda in his hand.

“I brought you a drink.” He set the glass on the end table. “So that’s Wraith’s hellspawn, huh? He’s cute—nothing like his father.”

A smile played on his lips, and Gem’s breath caught at the longing in his eyes.

“He’s a really good baby,” Runa said. “So yeah, nothing like Wraith.”

Kynan’s smile turned sad, and Gem knew he was thinking about Wraith’s dire situation. “Can I hold him?”

Gem handed the infant to him, and she choked up—actually choked up, when he cradled the little guy to his chest and began to rock him. He was father material, pure and simple. Someday he’d want them, and what then? What would happen when he realized that Gem couldn’t bear him human children?

Nothing good, and it was time to face the facts.

She and Kynan could never have a future together.

Dinner tasted like sawdust

Kynan mostly pushed his food around his plate as Eidolon listed all the things that had gone wrong with the hospital, including the fact that the patch they’d slapped on the Haven spell was weakening. With the hospital running on minimal staff, E and Shade had decided that, should the Haven spell fail again, they were going to shut down.

But the worst of the news had come earlier, in private, when Shade and E had told him that their lives were also at stake, something they hadn’t told their wives.

And still the bad news kept coming.

“Plans are solidifying in the underworld,” Shade said. “There’s been a call to arms.”

Ky’s gut dropped to his feet. “This is bigger than just an incursion, isn’t it?”

E rubbed the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, looking exhausted and rougher than Ky had ever seen him. Now he understood why. He was dying. “Armageddon for you, Reclamation for us.”

Shade took a swig of beer. He wasn’t looking so great himself, and Ky had to wonder if Runa, Tayla, and Gem were really buying their “Seminus flu” BS.

“Wraith called,” Shade said. “The guy who attacked Serena is a fallen angel. He’s after her charm and the necklace she’s protecting.”

Kynan was sick of hearing about fallen angels. “What kind of necklace?”

“Wraith didn’t say. But everything happened at the same time—Serena’s appearance on the scene and the underworld havoc. It’s definitely connected.”

“Have you asked Reaver about him?”

“Tried. He’s MIA.”

“Shit. Okay, where are the armies going to strike? I need to notify the Sigil, and the R-XR, if Runa hasn’t.”

Not only did Runa’s brother work for the R-XR, but she’d been employed by them as well, before she hooked up with Shade.

She shot Shade a none-for-you-tonight glare, which was actually a non-threat, seeing how he’d die without sex. “I talked to Arik yesterday, but I’m hearing about all of this for the first time right now.”

Shade shrugged, though he sounded a little sheepish when he said, “I didn’t want to upset you. You’ve had enough on your plate as it is.” He turned to Kynan. “I took a little trip to Sheoul this afternoon. Talked to people who know people… there’s no word on an actual strike. Instead, armies are gathering in Israel.”

Whoa. Kynan put down his fork. “Why would they be gathering aboveground? Couldn’t they use the Harrowgates to get to the places they’re going to strike?”

“There’s fear that humans are going to cripple the Harrowgates,” E said. “Besides, demons can’t move in mass through them. They’ve got to gather near battle sites.”

“Makes sense.” This was good intel. The Aegis and military paranormal units could start putting their resources in place now. He stood. “I’m going to get moving on this. And if Serena or her necklace is part of this, maybe The Aegis or the R-XR could grab her and keep her out of the fallen angel’s hands.”

Shade and E looked troubled by that idea, which would, no doubt, end Wraith’s plans to take her charm, but they didn’t argue. More than their lives were at stake now.

“Tell them,” E said, his voice low and rough. “Reclamation might sound like a good time to a lot of demonkind, but I like the world the way it is.” He gave Tayla and the babies a pointed look. “Safe for my family.”

As Kynan took Gem’s hand in his, he couldn’t help but agree.

Gem had remained completely silent on the walk to her apartment. Kynan would have worried, except that he hadn’t felt like talking much himself. The threat of friends dying and the world ending left him speechless.

Gem dug her apartment keys out of her purse and unlocked her door, but she didn’t open it. Instead, she became very interested in her feet. The platform Mary-Janes added a good five inches to her height and made her long, bare legs into works of art. He’d never been one for Goth fashion, but he couldn’t imagine her in anything else.

Anything but satin sheets, anyway.

He hooked a finger beneath her chin and forced her to look at him. “What’s wrong? Did I do something stupid again?”

A sad smile curved her lips, which were freshly painted with black lipstick. “You didn’t do anything.”

“Then tell me what’s going on.”

“Besides a possible end of the world?”

“Besides that.”

“You… um… you know how I feel about you.”

Well, if that didn’t just freeze the blood in his veins. No one started off a conversation like that unless they were going to say something bad. Like, “I slept with your best friend.” Or, “I slept with that leather-bound, tongue-pierced demon.”

“Gem—”

“Don’t,” she said quickly. “Don’t say anything. I just want you to understand how hard this is for me.”

His heart dropped to his feet. “What’s hard?”

“Breaking up with you.”

After the time they’d spent in the hospital room today, this was the last thing he’d expected, and it took a good ten seconds for his brain to process. Even when it did, he had to repeat what she’d said. “Break up with me?”

Her eyes filled with tears as she brought his hand to her lips and kissed his knuckles. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“Dammit, Gem.” His voice cracked, and he hated himself for it. “Tell me what’s going on.”

“You want children, don’t you?”

He blinked, completely caught off guard. “What’s this about?”

“Kids. Babies. Little fruits of your loins. Do you want them?”

“Well, yeah… someday.”

Her chin quivered. “That’s what I thought.” She pulled her hand out of his and stepped back, putting a mile of distance in the three feet of space between them. “There’s no point in us dating, then.”

“What? Gem, you’re talking crazy.”

“Oh, come on. Are you telling me you want to see where this goes, if it can get serious? Are you really thinking marriage? Kids? Because, Kynan, you know what I am. Have you considered the fact that if we had kids, they’d be a quarter demon? And not just demon. Soulshredder.”

Kynan’s mouth opened, but nothing came out. He hadn’t thought this far ahead, had been taking things day by day for so long.

“See? You can’t even try to reassure me.” Her voice was soft, resigned, not angry like he thought she had every right to be.

“It’s not that. It’s just… can’t we cross that bridge when we come to it?”

“No, we can’t. God, Kynan, I feel so strongly about you now. I can’t stand the thought that two years down the road, when I’m even more attached, you’d leave me because you want kids. And don’t say the kid thing wouldn’t be a big deal for you.”

“Gem. Listen to me. You know my stance on demons has changed. Some of my best friends are demons. And Tayla and you… the half-demon thing doesn’t bother me.”

“It doesn’t bother you now. But later?” She studied her shoes again. “Even if you decided you could live without kids in order to be with me, you’d grow to resent me.”

“Thanks for the faith,” he snapped. “While you were tagging me with unfair accusations, did you once sit back and think that maybe I should decide how opposed I am to having kids with demon blood running through them?”

She glared at him. “I’m just trying to save us both a lot of pain.”

“Bullshit. You’re punishing me for all those months you wanted me but I didn’t give you the time of day because you were a demon. I’m over that, Gem. I don’t care. Why don’t you get that?”

Her bitter laughter bounced off the walls in the narrow hallway, echoing darkly. “You’re the one who doesn’t get it. Want proof?” She put her palm on his chest. “I see your scars. It’s what I am. Soulshredder, remember? I can see all your past damage, and I know instantly what it’s about. And you know what? There’s this huge gash running right here, over your heart. It’s about Lori. And kids. And how you wanted them but she kept putting you off, and at some point before she betrayed you, you actually suspected, just for a minute, that maybe she was going to put you off forever. And then you’d be facing the hardest decision of your life. Keep her and not have kids, or leave her to find someone you could knock up. How close am I, Kynan? Because I gotta tell you, my demon half is really wanting to poke that wound and make it hurt.”

He felt the blood drain from his face, because he got it. He finally got it. She hid her inner demon well, but he needed to face the truth. Deep inside, she was a monster, a species of demon even other demons feared. He’d believed that just because he couldn’t see it, it didn’t matter. Didn’t exist.

But it did. He’d seen her shift into her hybrid form at the hospital, but it had all happened so quickly he’d barely paid attention. But that wasn’t true, was it? He’d shoved the image into the back of his mind, locked it up tight with all the other horrific memories he had. That was the only way a soldier or a medic could operate. If they dwelled on the things they’d seen, they’d end up eating the business end of a pistol.

He could keep that image stowed away, but was that fair to her? To him?

“So you’re finally getting it,” she rasped. Her eyes had begun to glow, little red sparks lighting the green depths. “As long as you don’t see the demon, you can deal. I’m good enough to fuck, but not good enough to marry or bear your children.”

“Stop it!” he barked. “Stop telling me what I think. What I feel. You have no idea.”

“Am I wrong?”

He no longer knew. His thoughts were so jumbled up with his emotions right now that he couldn’t think straight.

“That’s what I thought,” she said when he didn’t answer. The red melted from her eyes, and she sighed. “Look, let’s not make this harder than it is. Let’s end it while we still can. While we can be friends.”

God, his chest hurt. This couldn’t be happening. Just hours ago, they were happy. And now… now it was all ruined.

“It doesn’t have to be like this, Gem.”

“You know it does.” She put her key in the lock, but didn’t turn it. “What’s so funny about this is that a year ago I’d have taken whatever scraps you were willing to throw my way. If you’d only come over once a week for a quickie and then left without a word, I’d have been grateful. But something happened to me while you were gone. I got stronger. And now I want it all. I won’t settle. Not even for you.”

With that, she went up on her toes, brushed her lips across his, and disappeared into her apartment.