Plain Jane in the Spotlight

CHAPTER TWELVE

LIKE everything else in La Couronne, the wedding area was magnificent. Chandeliers hung from the ceiling, gilt decoration adorned the walls.

‘It’s glorious,’ Harriet said to Charlene, ‘but I still prefer the ceremony Darius and I had on the beach at Herringdean.’

‘That sounds lovely,’ Charlene agreed.

‘It was lovely,’ Travis said. ‘Especially with the dog there. How is Phantom, Harry? I know everyone was afraid he wouldn’t live much longer.’

‘He’s managing to hold on. Every day is precious.’

‘I’m longing to see what Cassie looks like in her wedding dress,’ Freya said. ‘She’s so beautiful that I could hate her if I didn’t like her so much.’

The room was packed. Marcel had few friends but many business acquaintances who appreciated the invitation, and much the same could be said for Cassie.

At last Jackson and Leonid entered, then Amos and Janine. Amos looked proud and magnificent. Nobody, Charlene thought, would have dreamt that he’d come to this wedding against his will.

Now Marcel appeared, taking his place at the front, with Darius, his best man. At last everything was in place for the bride’s arrival.

As Freya had predicted, she was astonishingly beautiful. Charlene knew a pang. It wasn’t fair that one woman could be like that and another… She looked down disparagingly at herself.

Marcel turned to watch his bride approach, and Charlene drew a sharp breath at his expression. It was possessive, adoring and slightly incredulous, as though he couldn’t quite understand how such good fortune was his. That was how a man ought to regard his bride, she thought. It was how Travis would never regard her.

The voice of common sense echoed in her mind.

Time to face facts. Yes, I know you hate the thought, but listen. He doesn’t really love you. Not as you love him. And he’s never going to, you know that, don’t you?

I guess I do.

So be sensible. Get out now.

But that means abandoning him when he needs me.

That won’t be your problem.

Loving Travis will always be my problem. I can either love him at a distance, wondering how he is. Or I can love him close up, doing everything I can to make him happy.

And being hurt yourself. Think about it.

The same look was on Marcel’s face when he finally led his new wife back along the aisle, followed by applause from the congregation.

Then the photographs, a dozen different combinations of family members. In one, Amos stood with all five of his sons. This was followed by pictures of Amos with Darius and Marcel, then Jackson and Leonid.

‘Wait,’ Amos called. ‘We haven’t finished. Travis, get over here.’

And so it came about that Travis was the only one of Amos’s sons to be photographed alone with him.

‘Yes,’ Charlene murmured happily. ‘Yes, yes, yes.’

The reception was a riot of speeches and champagne. Watching the bride and groom, Charlene saw the same look she’d seen on Marcel’s face earlier. Darius too looked the same whenever his eyes fell on Harriet.

Would he look at you like that, at your wedding? demanded the sensible voice.

Probably. He’s a very good actor.

At last the guests began to leave. The goodbyes were said, and the rest of the evening became an extension of the family reunion. Cassie and Marcel were staying in Paris that night, leaving for their honeymoon next day, when the rest of the family departed. Travis, Charlene was glad to notice, was deep in conversation with Leonid, whose grim air had vanished in the pleasure of his brother’s company. As she passed by, both men reached out to catch her hand and drew her to sit with them.

‘I was saying how glad I am to meet my brother again,’ Leonid said, ‘and how sad that tomorrow we must say goodbye, and not know when next we meet.’

Charlene was inspired.

‘But that’s easy,’ she said. ‘The show filmed an episode in London, so why not an episode in Moscow?’

‘That’s brilliant!’ Travis exclaimed.

‘But you are going to do the film,’ Leonid protested. ‘Will you have time?’

‘I haven’t got the film yet, and even if I do there are TV episodes to shoot first. I’ll talk to them about this as soon as we get back to LA.’

‘And they will say yes because you are a very big man and they do as you wish,’ Leonid said triumphantly. ‘Just wait until you get to Moscow and I can boast that this is my brother.’

He seized Charlene’s hand and kissed it.

‘Thank you for your idea. You are a genius. Travis, your lady is a genius.’

‘I know that,’ he said, regarding her with fond gratitude.

‘Come on, I only suggested it.’ She laughed. ‘If they do this it will be to please Travis.’

‘True,’ Leonid agreed. ‘Travis is the great man. But a great man needs a great lady beside him all the time.’

‘He certainly does,’ Travis said firmly. ‘Damn! Why does the phone have to ring now? Hello, Joe!…What’s that?’ Suddenly his face brightened. ‘Are you sure? It’s not a mistake? That’s great. Yes, I’ll make a note of the date. Next month. Right.’

‘What is it?’ she asked.

‘It’s the nominations for the TopGo Television Drama Awards. Joe’s had some advance notice.’

‘And you’ve got a nomination?’ Darius demanded. The family were gathering around them.

‘More than one, apparently. Joe, how many? How many?’ He looked around frantically. ‘Paper-paper-’

Jackson produced a scrap of paper. Leonid shoved a pen into Travis’s hands. Now everyone was riveted as he began to scribble.

‘That’s four!’ Marcel exclaimed, reading over his shoulder as Travis hung up. ‘Four nominations?’

‘Let’s see,’ squeaked Harriet. Seizing the paper, she began to read aloud. ‘“Award for the best performance by a leading actor in a television series. Award for the best comedy performance by an actor in a television series.”’

‘It’s a con,’ Travis groaned. ‘There was one episode that was played for laughs, so someone’s been pulling strings to get me this nomination. It doesn’t mean a thing.’

‘Stop being modest,’ Jackson ordered. ‘It doesn’t suit you. What else is there?’

‘“Award for the best dramatic performance by an actor in a television play,”’ Harriet read. ‘You do one-off plays as well?’

‘I did one last year. Just one.’

‘And “best contribution to an educational feature,”’

Harriet read.

Travis’s brothers roared with laughter. ‘Education?’ Darius echoed. ‘You?’

‘Very funny.’ Travis grinned. ‘I made an appearance in a couple of documentaries. I told you, it’s a con. Somebody’s fixed this.’

‘Of course,’ Marcel declared. ‘Nobody could ever think you were “somebody” just because you’ve got more nominations than the rest.’

Everyone cheered and applauded, raising their glasses in salute, while Travis looked modestly embarrassed even through his laughter.

Amos took the paper from Harriet and studied it.

‘It’s a fix,’ Travis repeated. ‘Nobody gets as many as that unless someone’s pulling strings.’

‘Of course,’ Amos agreed. ‘Obviously this is about boosting you for the film part. You will win everything. Your incredible achievement will be in the papers, and the part will be yours. Excellent.’

‘You think that’s good?’ Travis queried.

‘If you want something to happen, you have to arrange for it to happen,’ Amos told him. ‘Clearly you are supported by big, important people.’

It was clear that Travis had gone up in his estimation. In Amos Falcon’s world this was how things were done.

‘You mentioned a date next month,’ Amos said.

Travis nodded. ‘The award ceremony is on the fifteenth, in Los Angeles.’

‘Splendid. I shall be there.’

‘And me,’ Marcel said at once. ‘And Cassie.’

‘And me,’ Darius added. ‘And Harriet.’

Jackson and Leonid joined in, and with dizzying speed it was set up. All Travis’s family, even Amos, would be there for his great event. Both professionally and personally, this would be his night of glory.

On the way up to their suite he was incandescent, whooping, ‘You did it! You did it!’

‘No, you did it,’ she protested.

‘Don’t argue with me. You did it. Come here!’

He pulled her hard against him, kissing her with a fierce eagerness that brought her own desire rioting to the surface, overwhelming her despite her good resolutions. Only the sound of the elevator doors opening brought them back to earth.

‘Come on,’ he said, heading for their suite.

Once inside, he held her face between his hands, smiling into her eyes.

‘Leonid’s right,’ he said. ‘I need you beside me, so now you definitely have to marry me.’

‘But-’

‘No buts. I won’t take no for an answer. Say you’ll marry me.’

‘Travis-’

‘Say yes. Say it.’

Overjoyed but bewildered, she searched his face, desperately trying to understand something that could never be understood.

‘Say it!’

‘Yes,’ she whispered. ‘Yes.’

‘You mean it? You won’t change your mind?’

‘I mean it.’

‘Prove it to me.’

No need to ask what he meant. Even as he spoke, he was drawing her down onto the bed, and she went eagerly.

In the days after their first loving they’d been wary of each other, making her wonder if it would ever happen again. Now she understood how terrible that would have been. Never to have touched him again, or feel him touch her, never again to know the sweet thrill of being close to him, then closer until finally they were each other’s with a completeness that made her dizzy with delight.

He loved slowly, even hesitantly, as though the first loving had left him still in doubt. But that was his way, she thought, trying to think clearly through a haze of pleasure. It was hard for him to be truly confident, even now, but surely it was in her power to find the way for him. With her arms firmly around him she gave herself up to the sensations and emotions that were like a new world: the world they would find together.

When he was asleep she rose and went to sit by the window, watching his still form on the bed. Common sense was still raging at her, and she knew she must tell it to stop its nonsense once and for all.

You did it. You gave in, settled for second best.

Travis could never be second best.

But what he’s offering you is second best, and you know it. Is it coincidence that it happened tonight? You proved your usefulness again with that Moscow suggestion, and now he’s definitely not going to let you go.

I don’t want him to let me go.

But what’s he offering? Love?

I don’t know.

Yes, you do. He’s not in love with you, not the way you are with him.

But he needs me, and I’ll be there for him. And if…if one day it’s over, I’ll still be glad of the time we had together.

This is the twenty-first century. What happened to liberated woman?

I guess I’m not very liberated where Travis is concerned. And that’s fine by me. I’ll love him and cherish him, and give him whatever I can. And if he’s happy, that’s all I ask. Now go away and don’t come bothering me again.

Silence!

Back in Los Angeles, everything was humming as preparations were made for the big night. Rumours had gone around about what was to happen, and the announcement about the film that was expected afterwards. Everyone who was anyone was determined to be there.

One disappointment was that her grandparents couldn’t make it. Their holiday would be over just two days before the award ceremony, and they would be too tired from the long flight home to embark on another to Los Angeles.

‘Could they change the flight?’ Travis suggested. ‘Come straight here from Africa, then stay with us for a while to get their strength back before returning to London?’

But when Charlene suggested this to Frank on the phone, he thanked her but refused.

‘Emma’s worn out. She needs to get home. We’ll watch it on television. You’ll hear us cheering.’

‘What a shame,’ Travis said. ‘It would have made everything perfect to have them there, especially when we tell everyone our news.’

He planned to cap the evening by announcing their engagement.

‘I’d better do it when I receive the first award,’ he mused, ‘in case there aren’t any others.’

‘You know how many there are going to be,’ she said. ‘This is going to be your night.’

His night in every way. Two days before the event, his family began to arrive. Amos, Janine and Freya dined with them and Charlene was struck by the look of pride and satisfaction on Amos’s face.

He’s got what he wanted from his father at last, she thought. At least, he’s nearly got it. Don’t let anything happen to spoil it now.

Her dress for the evening was a magnificent dark blue velvet with a tight waist and long flowing skirt. Travis helped her on with it, and zipped it up.

‘I like that blue,’ he said. ‘It goes well with this.’ He showed her a ring of diamonds and sapphires.

‘Let me wear it now,’ she begged.

‘No, we agreed I’d give it to you when I make the announcement.’ His eyes were teasing. ‘Until then, you’ll have to be patient.’ He kissed her.

‘I’ll try. Oh, Travis, I hope tonight is everything you hoped for.’

‘If you’re there, it will be. Hell! What’s that?’

‘My phone. Hang on, I’ll get rid of them quickly.’

‘Charlie?’ It was her grandfather’s voice. ‘Something terrible’s happened.’

‘What?’ she asked, but she knew the answer before he spoke.

‘Emma’s had a heart attack, a big one. Oh, darling, they say she might not last the night.’

‘Sweet heaven,’ she whispered.

‘Can you come? It could be for the last time. She said I wasn’t to call you because you had this other thing happening but-’

‘Of course you were right to call me,’ she said, almost violently. ‘I’ll be on the next plane. Which hospital?’

She wrote it down and said, ‘Tell her I’m coming. Tell her I love her.’

‘Emma?’ Travis asked as soon as she hung up. He’d been watching and listening, motionless.

‘She’s had a heart attack. She’s dying.’

‘Then we’ve got to get over there fast. There’s a flight this afternoon.’

‘We-? No, Travis, you can’t come. You’ve got the awards ceremony and those people will be there-your family-’

He stared at her. ‘Are you seriously saying that you think I’ll put all that stuff first? Before you?’

‘You must. You can’t miss tonight when there’s so much hanging on it. I know you’d come with me if you could, and I’ll treasure that. But you can’t. Surely you can see that you can’t?’

‘What I can see-’ he said slowly ‘-is something I never saw before. I didn’t understand-but I do now.’

‘You know I’m right,’ she said. ‘This is your big moment. I won’t let you lose it because of me.’

He moved away from her. ‘You’d better get ready while I make the arrangements,’ he said. And walked out.

While she threw some things together in a small bag she concentrated fiercely on the task in hand. If she let her thoughts get out of control she feared she would break down. Travis had said the right things about wanting to come with her, but he’d let her talk him out of it more easily than she could have dreamed.

And that was how things were between them. She’d told herself that she was willing to settle for second best, but she hadn’t expected the reality to become so brutally clear so soon.

She changed into sensible clothes, taking just enough to manage. When she emerged, Travis was sitting at the table hurriedly writing something.

‘It’s all settled,’ he said, folding the paper into his pocket. ‘I’ve called the airport and fixed your ticket. Rick will take us.’

‘Us?’

‘I’m just coming to see you off.’

He opened the door, ushering her out before she could protest. She was struck by how cool and businesslike his manner had become. This was a practical man who’d dealt with the emotion, brushed it aside and was ready to get on with the important things in life. She felt a chill run through her.

The car was waiting, with Rick at the wheel. Once inside, she dropped her head in her hands and sat motionless. Travis put his arms around her, drawing her close. She reached out slightly, trying to respond, but she felt abandoned in another world, one that he wasn’t part of, no matter how much he pretended.

‘We’re nearly there,’ he said.

She pulled herself together. In a few moments they would part. She would return to her world, he would return to his, and who could say if they would ever meet again? At this moment she doubted it.

Now the rest of her life stretched ahead, empty because she would lose him, but even emptier because he would no longer be the man she loved and believed in.

As he helped her out of the car he called to Rick, ‘Wait for me in the car park. I won’t be long.’

‘Perhaps you should go back now,’ Charlene said.

‘No, I’ve got time to see you into the Departure Lounge. Sit over there while I collect your ticket.’

He returned a few minutes later, handing her the ticket.

‘Luckily you’ve only got hand luggage,’ he said. ‘So we can go straight to Check In.’

Closer and closer, the final moment approached. At the Check In desk she showed her ticket, received a boarding card and turned to say goodbye. But Travis wasn’t looking at her. He was leaning over the desk, showing another ticket, receiving a boarding card.

‘Travis, what-?’

‘You didn’t really think I’d let you go alone, did you?’ he said.

‘But you can’t- The awards-’

‘They’ll have to do them without me.’

Joy and horror warred in her: joy at his generosity, horror at his sacrifice, rendering her speechless. While she floundered he urged her forward, brooking no resistance, and by the time she could think clearly they were in the Departure Lounge.

‘Travis, how did you-?’

‘A little bit of stage management. When I booked your ticket I booked one for me as well. Then I called Rick, told him what I was doing. He’ll be halfway back to town by now.’

‘But you told him to-’

‘To wait in the car park, yes. But he knew I didn’t mean it. It was just to fool you, so that you wouldn’t suspect until it was too late.’

‘Travis, please, be sensible. The studio bosses will be furious-’

‘Let them.’

‘Your family-’

‘I called Darius. He said I was doing the right thing and he’s going to explain things to the others.’

‘And your father?’

‘I’ll have to call him separately. In fact I’ll do it now.’

But he was saved the effort by the ring of his phone. It was Amos, speaking in a voice so sharp and loud that Charlene could hear it from several inches away.

‘Have you gone mad?’ Amos raged.

‘Father, I’m sorry to let everyone down like this, but I had no choice.’

‘Of course you had a choice. You’ve risked everything you’ve worked for, you’ve insulted me. What kind of a fool do I look now, turning up to see you win prizes and you can’t be bothered to be there?’

‘I never meant to insult you. I hoped you’d understand.’

‘I understand that you’re doing something criminally stupid. That any son of mine-’

‘Right this minute I don’t feel like your son,’ Travis interrupted him. ‘And that makes me glad.’

‘Stop talking like that and get back here at once. I’m telling you, no woman is worth it-’

His voice stopped suddenly. Travis had hung up.

‘You cut him off,’ Charlene said, aghast. ‘He’ll never forgive you.’

‘And I will never forgive him for insulting you.’

‘But listen-’ she seized him ‘-it’s wonderful of you to be prepared to do this for me, but you mustn’t do it. Go back. It’s not too late.’

‘Haven’t you understood yet? It was too late from the moment I met you. I didn’t realise it then. It took me too long to see it, but now I know that you’re the only woman I could ever love.

‘I’ve never been able to speak of love before because I wasn’t sure of you. First there was Lee. I thought you wanted him, but then you seemed to let him go easily, and I began to hope. But you see-’ he made a helpless gesture ‘-I don’t just love you. I need you. I depend on you. We’ve always made jokes about that but I began to be afraid in case you just saw me as some clinging juvenile. Suddenly it wasn’t a joke any more.’

One day she would try to explain that she rejoiced in his need of her. Being needed was almost as beautiful as being loved. But there would be time for that later.

With shining eyes, she gazed at him.

‘But think of all you might be giving up-’

‘All I can think of is what I’ll gain. If I’d let you go alone it would always be between us, that I wasn’t there for you when you needed me. You’d have been nice about it, but we would always have known. And something would never have been right for us.’

‘But do you really understand what you might be losing?’

‘Yes, I know what I might lose. I might lose you. I might lose the woman I love more than anyone in the world. With you would go all my chance of happiness, of a future that meant anything. I’d lose my hope of children, for if you aren’t my children’s mother, nobody else ever will be. I’d lose all purpose in life. I’d lose everything.’

Now she was beyond speech, gazing at him, trying to understand the glimpse of his heart and soul he’d given her, and which was so unlike anything she’d imagined. She’d thought she understood Travis so well. Now she saw that she’d never understood the first thing about him.

‘You didn’t know I felt like that about you, did you?’ he asked gently.

She shook her head. ‘I thought the love was mostly on my side. I love you so much it scares me.’

‘But you always kept so cool. Even when you agreed to marry me it was as though you were being cautious-’

‘I was. I thought you only half wanted to. I heard Joe talking to you on the phone. He suggested that you should marry me, and you lost your temper at the other end.’

He groaned. ‘Of course I lost my temper. I was mad at him for daring to think I’d marry you as a PR stunt. I loved you. I was trying every way I knew to win your love, and I felt he’d insulted you. That’s why I got mad. And you thought- Oh, good grief!’ He pulled her against him. ‘How did we ever find each other when we’ve taken so many wrong turnings?’

‘But we found the right road in the end,’ she said.

‘You thought I asked you to marry me as a career move? That’s why you didn’t want me to come to London with you?’

‘I don’t want you to risk losing everything.’

He shook his head. ‘If I don’t lose you, I haven’t lost anything. If I do lose you, I’ve lost everything. Promise to stay with me, and that’s all I ask.’

‘I’ll stay as long as you want me.’

He kissed her, and would have said more but for the loudspeaker. It was time to board.

They said little on the journey. Everything that mattered had already been said, and they sat resting against each other, sometimes dozing, sometimes basking in their mutual contentment and joy.

In London a cab took them to the hospital. As they arrived they exchanged a fearful glance. In a moment they would know-

Frank looked up as they entered the little ward.

‘Thank goodness!’ he said fervently. ‘Emma, darling, look who’s here!’

Her eyes were open, and even in her dreadfully weakened state she could recognise them.

‘Charlene-I knew you’d come.’

‘And look who I’ve brought to meet you,’ she said.

‘But he’s- This is-’

‘This is your future grandson-in-law,’ Travis said. ‘And now you’ve got to get well fast, because we want to see you in Los Angeles for our wedding.’

‘Oh, darlings! How wonderful!’

‘Don’t get agitated,’ the doctor warned.

‘I’m not agitated. I’m happy. I’m going to be there.’

She closed her eyes, smiling.

They stayed in the hospital for the rest of the day and all night. Now and then Emma would awaken, always a little stronger than before.

‘The doctor says her chances are improving by the minute,’ Frank told them. ‘It means the world to her that you gave up so much to come here. Thank you with all my heart. But were you wise to do it?’

‘It was the wisest thing I ever did,’ Travis said with a tender glance at Charlene.

They left the hospital that evening and spent the night in a nearby hotel, ready to return if there was an emergency call. But no call came.

As they snuggled down in each other’s arms Charlene’s thoughts were far away in Los Angeles, where the crowds would be gathering for the award ceremony, and people would be exclaiming in surprise, and perhaps annoyance, because the star of the evening wasn’t there. She wondered how Travis felt now that the moment had come. But when she looked at him his eyes were closed. He might almost have been asleep, except that he turned and pressed his lips against her forehead.

Was he regretting his decision? Would he tell her if he did?

At last she fell asleep. In the early hours she awoke to find him just hanging up the phone.

‘Any news?’ she asked tensely.

‘Yes, I called Joe. The awards ceremony was a success. I won the dramatic actor in a series award.’

‘Not the other three?’

‘No, but one is enough for me. Joe said they told the audience where I’d gone and why, and they applauded. We’ll start work again as soon as I return. So you see, I’ve suffered no harm.’

‘What about the film part?’

‘Well-’

‘Oh, no!’

‘That’s gone to the other guy. But who cares? I still have the series. And I have you. There’ll be other film parts. But there won’t be another you. My darling, try to understand. I’ve made my choice and I won’t regret it. At least, I won’t regret it as long as you stay with me, and love me.’

‘Do you doubt that?’ she whispered.

There was a strange look in his eyes, a mixture of teasing and adoration.

‘What is it?’ she asked.

‘I was thinking that if Joe was here, he’d want you to say something nice to me. You wouldn’t like to do that, would you?’

She considered. ‘I might. I could say that I love you, that I’ve never loved anyone in my life as I love you, and I know that I never will. You are my life. I can have no other, and I want no other. I’ll stay with you for ever, loving only you. And when the end comes I hope we’ll still be together.’

She reached up to touch his cheek. ‘Do you think that will do?’

He smiled, taking her hand and brushing it with his lips.

‘That will do perfectly,’ he said.