Plain Jane in the Spotlight

CHAPTER EIGHT

NEXT day Charlene paid Julia a visit. The two women liked each other. Julia was no actress. The cheeky kid she’d played as a starlet was simply her real self, and after thirty years she still existed. For much of the meal they swapped witticisms, but they both wanted to talk about Travis, and at last Julia said, ‘He was always a lovely boy. So sweet-natured and full of feeling. I used to wish he didn’t have so many feelings, so that his father couldn’t hurt him so much.’

‘He really minded about that, didn’t he? He didn’t say much but I could sense rivers running deep underneath.’

Julia nodded, then went to a cupboard and brought out a large book, which she opened, revealing a portrait photograph of Amos Falcon.

‘I took this shot of him when we knew each other, years ago,’ she said.

Amos had been an attractive man, not conventionally handsome, but with a fierce purpose in his face that proclaimed him one of life’s winners. Many women would find that appealing, as the young Julia had done.

As she still did, Charlene thought, watching the other woman as she surveyed the photograph. After all this time, there was sadness and longing in her face as she flipped over the pages to find pictures of the two of them together. Amos and Julia, a young girl, her face full of love, happy in the conviction that she had found her man and they would be together for ever.

More pictures: Julia with baby Travis in her arms, but never the three of them together.

‘Are there any of Amos and Travis together?’ she asked.

‘None,’ Julia said. ‘That’s one thing I can’t forgive Amos for. He paid maintenance for Travis, but he never took any real interest in him. He’d visit, talk to him about how he was doing at school, criticise him. But he wouldn’t pose for a picture or become really involved with him. But look at these.’

At the back of the book were newspaper cuttings showing Amos with some of his other sons.

‘Darius, Jackson, Marcel,’ Julia said bitterly. ‘But not Travis. I’ve seen him looking at these pictures with such sadness. Just imagine what he must have been thinking.’

‘That they were a complete family without him,’ Charlene whispered. ‘How well I know that feeling.’

‘Then you understand how it’s been for him. I’m so glad.’

‘It was much the same for me,’ Charlene said.

Briefly she outlined the situation in her own family.

‘I’m lucky in my grandparents. I get on with them wonderfully, and thank goodness I do because they’re all I’ve got.’

‘And I’m all Travis has got,’ Julia said. ‘I have no relatives. I’m an orphan, raised in an institution.’ She gave a grim laugh. ‘You wouldn’t believe it, would you? The big star, the world at his feet, women pursuing him, but it breaks his heart that he’s never felt really included in a family.

‘I haven’t been as good a mother as I meant to be,’ she added wryly. ‘At one time I thought I’d marry and give him a father, but none of my relationships ever quite worked out and…well, it didn’t increase stability, if you see what I mean.’

Charlene nodded, liking Julia even more for the honesty with which she admitted her own failings.

‘But he’s got you,’ Julia went on. ‘He hasn’t said much, but I gather you’re protecting him from the people who are out to harm him. I can see that he’s close to you, much closer than to women he sleeps with. Sometimes sex can actually form a barrier to closeness.’

She took Charlene’s hand. ‘Just be there for him,’ she said. ‘I know you will be, and I thank you with all my heart.’

‘I’ll be there,’ Charlene promised.

Soon after that Travis arrived to collect her, looking from one to the other, smiling when he sensed the warmth and friendliness.

As soon as she could, Julia drew him aside, murmuring, ‘Now I can have an easy mind about you. And I never thought I’d say that.’

‘Mom, it’s not like that. She’s a friend.’

‘A friend who happens to be living with you. A friend the whole world is talking about.’

‘That’s just it. We want the world to be talking about her so that they forget what happened in the nightclub. I couldn’t face losing all I’d gained. Luckily Charlene agreed to help me.’

‘How much does she know?’

‘Everything. I didn’t lie to her. That’s the most wonderful thing about her. You can be completely honest and trust her to understand. It’s such a relief.’

‘Someone you can be completely open with. That’s more luck than most people ever have. And you actually persuaded her to put on a big performance for the cameras?’

‘Yes.’

‘And the fact that you’re living together isn’t-?’

‘No.’

‘And you’re not-?’

‘No!’

‘And you haven’t even tried to-?’

‘No!’

She surveyed him, half cynical, half amused.

‘I don’t think you’re my son at all. You’re an impostor. What have you done with the real Travis?’

He grinned. ‘He decided to lie low for a while. He reckons he isn’t so clever.’

She patted his hand. ‘Well, getting Charlene to help you was really clever. She’ll do you the world of good. You might start appreciating other things about women than the shape of their behinds. Why, darling, you’re blushing!’

‘Nonsense!’ he said hurriedly. ‘Can we leave it?’

‘Of course. I’ll just say this. I think she’s the woman for you, and you should try to win her for life.’

‘Mom, please. You just don’t understand.’

She patted his face. ‘No, my darling. It’s you that doesn’t understand.’

Life settled into a comfortable pattern. Sometimes they would go out together, always choosing a place where they would be seen and enjoying the public reaction, whether it appeared in the press or on the Internet.

‘But don’t overdo it,’ Joe, the Press Officer, had warned. ‘The public are quite sophisticated about this kind of thing these days, and if you live in each other’s pockets they suspect a PR stunt.’

With one voice they exclaimed, ‘Shocking!’

Joe grinned. ‘You two scare me sometimes. It’s like the same brain working both of you!’

They shared a smile. Their instinctive mental harmony was a source of pleasure to them.

But they heeded Joe’s words, and went out separately. She enjoyed the theatre, while he preferred to spend an evening with friends. She wondered if the friends included the kind of ladies he didn’t dare be seen with, but if so he never mentioned it. When describing his evening he would finish with, ‘I was boringly virtuous. You’d have been proud of me.’

‘You could tell me if anything happened,’ she said once. ‘I wouldn’t be jealous.’

‘And I would tell you, if there was anything to tell. You’d need to be warned, for practical reasons.’

And since she had a deep belief in the trust between them, she accepted his word.

One evening Travis arrived home to find her about to leave.

‘Going somewhere interesting?’

‘To the theatre, with some of the girls from the TV studio. There’s six of us going in total. It’s an open air performance, so I’m just dressed casual.’

He noticed that by ‘just casual’ she meant the tight jeans she’d been wearing the day she sat on his lap, when he-

He shut off the thought.

From below came a beep from a horn.

‘That’s my taxi,’ she said. ‘Right, I’ll be off.’

‘Will you be late?’

‘Very late, probably.’ She added significantly, ‘And I promise to come in quietly.’

He understood. She was saying that he was free to enjoy himself with another woman-or women.

‘Charlene-’

‘Got to dash. Bye!’

She blew him a kiss, and was gone.

From the window he watched her hop merrily into the taxi. As he turned back into the room he realised how empty it was. How silent and lonely.

Suddenly it was intolerable. He ran swiftly through a list of female names, seeking one that would do. The problem was that there were so many that would ‘do’. Too many.

His choice fell on Susie. They were old friends and she liked nothing better than to have a good time, with nothing serious on either side, except a generous gift to finish the evening. He picked up the phone.

As soon as she heard his voice she cried, ‘Darling! It’s been a long time.’

‘How about we put that right? Are you free this evening?’

‘I am for you. Where shall we meet?’

‘Why don’t you come over here?’

She gave a knowing laugh. ‘That sounds lovely. Who needs other people?’

They understood each other perfectly.

Charlene’s evening out was short-lived. The play was poor, the acting terrible. In the interval she and her friends poured out and headed into the nearest restaurant.

‘Hey, look who’s there!’ exclaimed a young woman. ‘Penny Danes. She’s the TV star in The Man From Heaven. Who’s that handsome guy snuggling up to her?’

‘His name’s Lee Anton,’ Charlene said. ‘He’s just started in the series.’

Cameras were flashing on the theatrically loving couple. Penny stretched out her hand, flaunting a ring, then kissed Lee, waving the ring again.

‘Looks like they’ve got engaged,’ someone observed. ‘Do you know him, Charlene?’

‘No,’ she said quietly. ‘I don’t know him.’

Soon after that she discovered that she was tired. Bidding goodnight to her companions, she slipped quietly away and went to stand outside the restaurant, looking in at Lee and his new lover.

It should have hurt, she thought wryly, but that was all over. Now she had a new life, thanks to Travis, with his gift of touching her emotions. Their relationship might only be friendly, but so few people had ever bothered with her emotions in the past that it could be dangerous if she wasn’t careful.

But I am careful, she thought. Careful is my middle name. He’s my dear brother, and I won’t let anything spoil it.

She turned and went to hail a taxi. Nothing appeared and after a while she thought of going back inside. But when she turned, Lee was standing there.

‘Fancy seeing you! Come in and meet my fiancée.’

‘Thank you, no. But I wish you every happiness, Lee.’

‘You don’t blame me, then?’

‘Why should I blame you? There was nothing really between us.’

She had the feeling that this didn’t please him.

‘Anyway, I hope Travis doesn’t hurt you too much when your break-up comes. And it will. He’s not known as a faithful guy. The girls love him, but he doesn’t love them. Since he linked up with you they say he’s a reformed character.’ He eyed her hilariously. ‘But I guess you’d know about that.’

‘I see a taxi,’ she said hurriedly. ‘Goodnight, Lee.’

She couldn’t get away from him fast enough.

It was dark when she reached home. She let herself in quietly, meaning to tiptoe to her room, unnoticed. But the door to Travis’s bedroom was ajar, and from behind it she could hear a woman’s voice.

‘Oh, darling, you’re so sweet. If only other people saw the real you-knew you as I do-’

Silence. Charlene was tense, waiting for his voice, wondering what he would say.

‘It’s better if they don’t,’ he said at last. ‘Let’s keep it our secret.’

‘Oh, yes, of course you’re right. This is special to us-’

Charlene flattened herself against the wall, her eyes darting frantically from side to side. There was no way to reach her own room without passing the open door, and the thought of being discovered like this made her quail.

But the alternative was to stay concealed, effectively spying on Travis.

Help! wailed a voice in her head. I can’t handle this.

‘I’ve really missed you,’ came the female voice again. ‘And you’ve missed me. I can tell. You have, haven’t you?’

Heart pounding, Charlene waited for his answer, but instead of words there came only a Mmm sound, suggesting a prolonged kiss.

‘Travis-’

‘Wait.’ That was his voice.

He was moving about the room. Charlene held her breath as she sensed him grow nearer. Even so, she wasn’t prepared for the moment when he came into sight. The door was open just wide enough to show the whole of him, naked except for a pair of black briefs, so tiny they were almost non-existent.

She drew back into the shadows as far as she could go, unable to take her eyes off him. That a man so tall and lean should yet have such perfectly formed muscles, such a hint of restrained power, such beauty. She could hardly believe what her eyes were telling her.

He seemed preoccupied with troublesome thoughts, which was strange if he was on the verge of making love to his companion. He turned, showing his body from a new angle, the gentle swell of his rear, the length of his thighs.

At last he moved away behind the door, and she seized the chance to creep to her room. She didn’t even put the light on. At all costs he mustn’t suspect that she’d returned. She could feel her heart beating so fiercely that she feared he must be able to hear even at that distance.

She undressed quickly and got into bed, diving beneath the cover as though seeking shelter. The whole world seemed to have rocked. It was disgraceful to have seen his near nakedness while he was unaware, but she couldn’t make herself regret it. Even now he walked through her thoughts, casually magnificent.

But he wasn’t alone. A young woman was with him, lying in his bed, waiting for him to approach her. Obviously he’d called her as soon as she herself had gone out for the evening.

Lee’s words came back to her. The girls love him, but he doesn’t love them.

She had no right to complain. She’d promised to come in quietly in case he had a girl. But somehow she hadn’t really believed it, and the reality came as a shock.

She rolled over, burying her face in the pillow.

‘Don’t you care for me any more?’ Susie’s soft voice was petulant.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Usually by this time you’ve tossed me on the bed and-’ She finished with a significant little giggle.

‘A man learns patience as he gets older,’ he said with a touch of desperation.

‘But don’t I attract you?’

‘Of course you do,’ he said determinedly. ‘You’re as lovely as ever. It’s just that-’

He fought for something to say. Anything would do, other than the truth, which was that inviting her here tonight had been the biggest mistake he’d ever made, and he was paying for it. He’d watched as she undressed, waiting for the moment when his excitement rose, but nothing had happened.

Nor had it happened when she removed his own clothes. Her touch, her voluptuous charms left him unmoved.

Disaster!

If only he could banish the cheeky ghost that lingered in the apartment, a ghost who teased him as a sister, who’d shown him a whole new side of life, even made him see himself in a new light. A ghost with a tempting body that she kept concealed from the world so that only the privileged were allowed to discover it.

And who was out tonight-doing what? And with whom?

‘What is it?’ Susie demanded. ‘You suddenly jumped as though you’d seen a ghost.’

‘I think I did,’ he said, seizing inspiration quickly. ‘It’s Charlene-she could come back at any moment-’

‘But you said she’d be gone a long time.’

‘I could be wrong. I’m sorry, I’m not at my best. I think we should forget this.’

‘Well, really! What a way to treat a lady!’

He’d never seen Susie in a temper before, and it wasn’t a pretty sight. After spitting out a few curses, she declared significantly, ‘I don’t like wasting my time.’

‘Of course you don’t,’ he placated her, ‘but I have a present for you. Here.’

He took a bracelet from a drawer where he’d left it, awaiting the right moment to give it to Charlene. Mollified, Susie let him put it on her wrist.

‘That’s more like it,’ she said. ‘And next time maybe we’ll have more luck.’

There wasn’t going to be a next time but he was too wise to say so.

‘Goodbye, Susie.’

She stalked out of the bedroom towards the front door, which he held open for her. There she turned to give him a beguiling smile, to remind him what he was missing. But, to her annoyance, he wasn’t looking at her. His attention had been caught by something a few feet away, and it seemed to astound him.

‘Goodbye,’ she snapped.

He didn’t reply, merely closing the door without taking his eyes from whatever had caught them. Susie flounced on her way.

Travis was too dazed to move. What he’d seen had stunned him with its implications. There, on a small table, was Charlene’s purse.

She’d taken it with her. It shouldn’t be here.

But it was.

Which meant that she was here too. She must have come in while he was with Susie, and slipped quietly into her room, passing his bedroom door, which had been standing open.

And she’d seen-?

What?

After struggling with himself for what felt like ages, he tapped on her door.

‘Hello?’ came her voice.

‘It’s me.’

The door opened, revealing her in an all covering robe.

‘You left your purse out here,’ he said, holding it up.

‘Oh, I…didn’t notice…’ She seemed as distracted as himself. ‘Thank you.’

He waited for her to stand back and invite him in. But she didn’t.

‘I wasn’t expecting you back as soon as this,’ he said lamely.

‘The play was a disaster. I came home early.’

So she was pretending not to know about Susie, he thought. But he wasn’t fooled. There was no way she couldn’t know.

‘I had a friend over,’ he said casually.

‘Good. I hope it was fun. I expect you’re worn out now.’

Clearly she thought he’d been making love to Susie, and equally clearly it didn’t bother her.

That was good, he admonished himself. Brother and sister. Don’t forget.

‘No, I’m not worn out,’ he said. ‘It wasn’t that much of a fun evening.’

After a brief pause, she asked, ‘Really?’

‘Really,’ he said firmly.

She managed a faint smile. ‘I’m disappointed in you.’

‘So was the lady. I don’t think I met her expectations. Suddenly I wasn’t interested, and there are some things that…well, you just can’t pretend.’

It hurt her to see the strain in his face.

‘It’ll be better next time,’ she murmured. ‘There are so many other girls.’

‘When you’re young and stupid perhaps. But in the end it has to be the right one.’

‘But you are young. You aren’t thirty yet.’

‘Suddenly I don’t feel young any more. Hey, guess what! Maybe I grew up. I wonder what made that happen.’

Travis was on the edge of a precipice, saying things he should never have dared say to her, but he didn’t know how to stop.

‘Don’t listen to me; I’m talking nonsense,’ he hurried to say.

‘That’s all right. You can say anything to your big sister.’

As often before, she reached out to lay a gentle hand against his cheek. Travis laid his own hand over it but didn’t look up to meet her eyes. His gaze seemed fixed on his feet.

‘It’s late,’ he said at last. ‘Time we were getting some sleep. I’m sorry I disturbed you.’

‘Yes, of course,’ she said, disappointed. ‘Goodnight.’

She closed the door. Whatever he’d been about to say would not now be said. What he might have done would be left undone. She sighed.

Travis stood in the dark hall for a moment, then backed away, knowing he must get as far from her as possible and silence the raging tremors that went through his body. What Susie’s flaunting sexuality had failed to do, Charlene’s lightest touch on his cheek had done with ease. For the second time that night his mind said Disaster, but for a different reason.

When he remembered how he’d admitted his own failure to her he wanted to vanish into thin air. Instead, he curled up in bed, pulled the covers over his head and tried to pretend he didn’t exist.

In her own room, Charlene got slowly into bed, disturbed by a thousand conflicting instincts. But she couldn’t cope with them. She must try to escape into sleep. She closed her eyes and headed for the safety of oblivion.

Looking back at what happened next, she supposed she should have seen it coming. It was as inevitable as the rising of the sun, but she didn’t understand that at the time.

Her dreams were vague, just impressions floating through her mind, until suddenly Travis appeared.

Time had turned back and they were talking together in warmth and friendship. He touched her cheek, a sign of warmth that they frequently exchanged. It was the lightest gesture and she had responded to it happily-laughing, pleased but unruffled.

But now that touch was happening again in her dreams, and her flesh was reacting as it hadn’t done before. Suddenly she was responding with all her heart, relishing their emotional closeness and understanding, but above all rejoicing in his touch.

It was there again, his hand moving softly against her skin, tempting her to reach up, clasp it, drawing it further down. His eyes were telling her that this was what he wanted, if only she-

Charlene awoke with a cry, finding herself sitting up in bed, staring into the darkness, appalled at herself. Everything she remembered, the urgency in his caress, the vibrancy of her response-these things hadn’t happened!

Except perhaps deep inside, hidden out of sight in some remote place where neither her mind nor her feelings were in control.

Mysteriously, her body had stored up the memory, waiting until she was ready to confront it, then releasing it now, when her heart was suddenly open to him and she had no defences to protect her from its dangerous message.

No, she told herself, trying to be firm. I’m imagining things. Just a pathetic fantasist telling herself what she wants to believe.

Travis’s voice came from behind the door. ‘Charlene-Charlie-? What’s happened?’

‘Nothing, I’m fine,’ she forced herself to call back.

‘Are you sure? I thought I heard you cry out.’

‘I was out of bed,’ she stammered. ‘I stubbed my toe.’

‘Can I come in?’

‘No,’ she cried quickly. ‘Goodnight.’

‘Goodnight.’ He sounded reluctant, but at last she heard him move away.

She lay there, breathing hard, trying to pull herself together, but with no success. Where was calm, sensible Charlie when she was needed? Nowhere to be found.

But she was strong. She wouldn’t give in to her sudden fierce awareness of him as a man. That was her problem, not his, and he mustn’t be allowed to suspect. She closed her eyes, trying to banish him.

Yet he was stubborn and awkward, lingering on the edge of her consciousness, demanding entry to remind her once more how her heart was eagerly opening to him, reproaching her for not feeling it before.

‘No,’ she cried desperately. ‘You mustn’t- I mustn’t- No, please!’’

‘Charlie!’

‘No-no-’

‘Charlie-wake up!’

She could feel his hands, grasping her firmly until she opened her eyes and realised that Travis had come into the room. He was sitting on the bed, holding her shoulders and giving her a gentle shake.

‘Wake up,’ he said. ‘Charlie, please wake up.’

‘Oh-yes-yes-’

‘Are you awake now?’

‘Yes,’ she choked.

‘My poor dear. Such a terrible nightmare you must have had. You sounded in agony.’

‘You could hear me?’ she cried, aghast. Whatever had she said? What had she revealed?

‘I could hear you in my room, through two closed doors. I know you sent me away before but I couldn’t leave you to suffer alone like that. I heard you call, “I mustn’t-no, please”. What’s so terrible that you mustn’t do it? Come on, you can tell me. I’m your brother, remember?’

That was the one thing he would never be again, she thought desperately. He was a man, with all a man’s attractions. She’d deluded herself about this before, but never again.

Now he was lying down on the bed, his arms about her in a hug that devastated her with its hint of things she might yearn for but could never claim. The blankets were between them and she clung to that thought for safety, because she so desperately wished that they weren’t. Even so, she could feel the shape of his body, its warmth and power, its promise of delight for a woman he had chosen.

But she was not that woman. He hadn’t chosen her. He’d turned to her in despair.

‘What was the dream about?’ he whispered.

‘I’m…not sure. It was so vague-’

‘But you sounded scared. You were pleading. Who were you pleading with?’

I was pleading with myself not to fall in love with you, pleading for strength and common sense to save me from what I want so much.

‘Nobody,’ she said. ‘Nothing.’

‘You’re lying. Why? What is it that you can’t tell me?’

I can never tell you anything again.

‘I can’t remember,’ she forced herself to say. ‘It’s over now. I can go back to sleep.’

‘You want me to go?’

‘You’ve got a long day tomorrow,’ she said with an attempt at brightness. ‘You must think of that.’

‘I see. All right, I’ll go.’

There was a faintly forlorn note in his voice, almost as though he felt snubbed. But she barely heard it through her own feeling of rejection. She waited until he’d gone, then rolled over and curled up in a ball, as though trying to shut out the whole world. She stayed like that, wide awake and fretting, for the rest of the night.