Point of No Return

CHAPTER TWO

That feeling of déjà vu got stronger as Blane took me to the first restaurant we’d ever been to together. Now, though, he knew of my distaste for stools and we were led to a booth instead of the bar area. It was on the top level in a cozy corner.

“Good evening, Mr. Kirk.”

It was even the same waiter we’d had that first time, I realized, my eyebrows climbing.

“Evening, Greg,” Blane said. “I’d like a Dewars and water, please, and the lady would like . . .” His eyes were on mine as he said, “The lady would like a manhattan.” The hint of a smile tugged at Blane’s lips.

“You remembered,” I said, somewhat surprised. Bourbon wasn’t usually my drink of choice, but it had been what I’d ordered that night.

“Of course I do,” Blane said, settling back in the chair. “You were suspicious of me, and wary. And every time you evaded my questions, my curiosity grew tenfold.”

“You can hardly blame me,” I retorted with a grin, blushing. “I’d seen you go through women the way you go through ties.”

“Not anymore,” he replied, his voice soft. “Not after you.”

My blush grew warmer and I had to look away from his intent gaze. Picking up the menu, I pretended to look it over, though I didn’t really read a thing printed on it.

“And just so we’re clear,” Blane said, “I’m taking you to dinner, so order what you want.”

He hadn’t bothered with the menu, probably because he already knew it by heart.

“You don’t have to—”

“I know I don’t have to,” Blane interrupted. “I want to.”

Greg came back with the drinks, and after a moment’s hesitation I ordered the scallops. Blane ordered a steak and added a shrimp cocktail appetizer.

Blane loved good food and when the appetizer was set between us, he dug in. I watched with too much interest as his long fingers dipped a shrimp and carried it to his mouth.

“You have to have some,” he insisted, dipping another piece and offering it to me.

I reached to take it from him, but he pulled it back.

“Uh-uh,” he said, a teasing note in his voice.

I lowered my hand and he held the morsel out again. My eyes narrowed. I didn’t think I’d ever seen Blane quite so . . . playful before.

Giving a mental shrug, I leaned forward and let him feed me. The cold seafood combined with the heat of the sauce on my tongue, but it seemed I barely tasted it at all, too consumed was I with how Blane was watching me.

“Did I ever tell you about when I beat up James that first time?” he asked out of the blue.

I shook my head, recalling all too clearly how furious Blane had been when he’d seen the bruise on my face from when James had hit me.

“Well . . .” he began, settling back again. His fingers toyed with his drink as he told me the story of ruining James’s golf outing, provoking a fight so he could kick his ass, and managing to get James thrown out of the club. By the time he’d finished the story, our entrées had arrived.

I laughed as Blane described his feigned outrage that’d had the club’s manager falling all over himself apologizing for James.

Blane kept me entertained and laughing all through dinner, ordering a bottle of wine when our cocktails were empty and making me split dessert with him. When we finally left the restaurant, I was pleasantly tipsy and in a better mood than I’d felt in weeks.

I wasn’t too steady climbing the stairs to my apartment, and Blane kept his arm locked firmly around my waist as I giggled my way to the door. When I reached it, I leaned my back against the wood with a sigh.

“I had a nice time on our non-date,” I said with a smile.

Blane braced his hands on either side of my head as he leaned into me. “Me too,” he said. His eyes gleamed in the dark, the corners of his lips tipping up ever so slightly.

His cologne was a faint trace of scent now and I inhaled greedily.

“You smell nice,” I breathed, then realized I’d said that out loud. Maybe I was a bit more than tipsy?

“So do you,” Blane replied, his body moving closer to mine. The deep timbre of his voice washed over me, doing funny things to my insides.

Blane’s tie caught my eye. It dangled between us, the knot slightly loosened at his neck. I reached up, the silk soft between my fingers, and tugged.

Blane needed no more urging and I whimpered when his lips met mine, heat flaring between us immediately. He tasted of wine and his own unique flavor. My hands pressed against the hard planes of his chest, creeping up to wind around his neck until my fingers were buried in his hair.

My mind was a complete blank, thoughts incoherent as Blane’s mouth moved to skate down my neck, nipping and sucking until my blood was on fire. I tugged at his hair and he obeyed my silent request, his lips returning to mine.

His body was pressed against me, his hands spanning my waist, and the hard length of his erection prodding my abdomen made the flesh between my thighs ache.

Light flooded the terrace and I blinked in the sudden brightness. Blane pulled back, his body protectively shielding mine as he glanced around.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Alisha said, peering out her door. Bits was in her arms. “I was just taking Bits out for his evening toodles.” Her voice said she wasn’t a bit sorry and the look she gave me had a flush creeping up my neck.

“Um, that’s okay,” I said, lightly pushing against Blane’s chest until he took a step back. I took a shaky breath, trying to regain my equilibrium.

Alisha and Bits headed down the stairs. We watched them in silence, then Blane turned back to me, his expression slightly sardonic.

“I’d better go,” he said, and I nodded.

“Thanks again for dinner,” I said, my voice a little too breathless.

“I’ll call you,” Blane said. Leaning down, his lips brushed mine again, then he was jogging down the stairs to his car. A moment later, the Jag was roaring out of the lot.

I wanted to be in my apartment before Alisha came back up, but I wasn’t quick enough.

“What the hell?” she said, rushing up the stairs. Poor Bits was dragged the last few steps. “Since when are you seeing Blane again?”

Alisha still held a grudge against Blane for breaking our engagement, not that I blamed her. She’d seen me fall apart and hers had been the shoulder I’d cried on.

“I’m not,” I protested. “Not . . . really.” Finally, I managed to unlock my door, but Alisha followed me inside. Bits ran to greet Tigger, who acted like he wasn’t pleased as could be to see his canine buddy.

“Did I not just see you making out with him?”

“Yeah, but we just went to dinner, and there was wine, and I dunno . . .” I avoided eye contact as I tossed my purse onto the kitchen table.

“So he got you drunk?” Alisha asked, appalled.

“No, of course not,” I protested. “I don’t know what’s going on. He knows I slept with Kade, but—”

“You slept with Kade?” Her voice was a near screech. “And didn’t tell me?”

I collapsed on the couch, laughing a little at her incredulity.

“It was in Vegas,” I explained. “After Blane and I broke up. But then he didn’t remember, so it didn’t matter, and then he did, and then he got shot.” I sighed. Recounting the recent history between Kade and me had sobered me right up. “Now Blane seems intent on making me pick him, even though I said I wouldn’t choose between him and Kade.”

I covered my face with my hands. “Oh God, what am I going to do?” I moaned.

“Don’t care,” Alisha said, plopping down next to me. “I want details.”

“Alisha!”

“Kade seems like he’d be really good, lots of stamina. Was he good?”

I laughed at the eager excitement on her face. “I can’t believe you’re asking me that,” I said.

“Are you kidding?” she protested. “He’s stunningly gorgeous, saved you from being blown up, and oozes sex. Of course I want to know how it was!”

Alisha was completely unrepentant about her avid curiosity, which made me laugh despite myself.

“It was . . .” I searched for the right word, images replaying inside my head of Kade and me making love in Vegas, and again in the warm sunshine of an Indiana July afternoon. “It was . . . the best,” I said simply, shrugging. I couldn’t help the small smile tugging at my lips.

Alisha squealed in delight, throwing her arms around me in an exuberant hug, but then she suddenly pulled back, a frown on her face.

“So then why were you making out with Blane?” she asked.

My smile melted away. “Because a long-term thing with Kade is out of the question,” I said. “The closest he ever got to it was asking me to stay with him when we were in Vegas, but then he took it back.”

“Took it back? What do you mean?”

“He said it was too dangerous for me to be around him,” I explained. “So, yeah, I’m in love with him, but what’s the point? It’s not like he proposed.”

“And Blane?”

I remembered what Blane had said outside The Drop when we’d both been afraid he was heading to jail for Kandi’s murder: If I get out of this, if I still have a name worth giving to you, please tell me you’ll give us another chance. I can offer you more than Kade ever can or will.

“Blane still wants to marry me,” I said. “I think. Maybe.”

“Is that what you want?”

I thought about it. Part of me longed to settle down, build a home, a family, a life. But the other part of me wavered in indecision, and I wasn’t sure if it was because I didn’t think I was ready for that, or if I didn’t know who I wanted to settle down with.

“I don’t know,” I finally answered. “I don’t want to choose between them. It just seems wrong. They’re brothers.”

Kade wasn’t exactly a “settle down” kind of guy. Would being with him mean I’d have to give up having a family? Kids? But then again, I had to remember that he hadn’t offered me anything. Despite all we’d shared with each other in the darkened hospital room, future plans had not been discussed.

Whereas Blane had been clear about a future with him. He wanted to get married and start a family. When I’d apologized months ago for a pregnancy scare, he’d simply smiled and replied, I wasn’t scared.

Alisha sighed, sitting back against the couch and staring off into space like I was.

“Well, we could make a list of pros and cons?” she said, making it a question.

I turned and looked at her.

“It was just a suggestion,” she muttered. She thought for a moment. “I guess it comes down to . . . who you love more, doesn’t it?”

“I’m not choosing,” I said again.

We sat in contemplative silence for a few minutes, then Alisha stood.

“Well, I don’t have to tell you who I’d pick,” she said with a snort. “And as captivating as the soap opera of your life has become, I’ve still got to get to bed. Let me know if you need anything.” She gathered Bits in her arms while I stood, then gave me a hug. I walked her to the door.

“Love you,” she called as she left.

“Love you, too,” I replied, closing and locking the door behind her.

I cleaned the makeup off my face, brushed my teeth, and ran a brush through my hair. After changing into pajamas of knit shorts and a tank, I crawled into bed.

As tired as I was, though, I couldn’t sleep. I watched the minutes tick by on the clock, my mind refusing to quiet. I was doing my best to ignore the voice in the back of my head that was insistent on wanting to see Kade.

It was after midnight when my cell phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and my pulse leapt as I answered it.

“Did I wake you?” Kade asked.

“No. Can’t sleep.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know,” I lied. I closed my eyes so I could concentrate on the sound of his voice in my ear.

“Are you boycotting the hospital?” he asked.

I frowned, unsure what he meant. “No . . .”

“Because I haven’t seen you today.”

“I’m sorry,” I apologized. “I . . . I know you need to rest, so you can get better, and I didn’t want to come by tonight and wake you again.”

“You’re lying.”

I didn’t reply. I never could get a lie past him, so there was no sense denying it.

“Why aren’t you here really?” he asked. “And don’t lie to me, because I’ll know.”

I sighed. There was no hiding it. I might as well just tell him and let the chips fall where they may. “Because I was out to dinner with Blane tonight,” I confessed, flopping onto my back. “And it felt . . . wrong for me to see him, then come see you.”

Kade was quiet for a moment while I held my breath. Would he be angry?

“Do you want to see me?”

My answer was immediate. “Yes.”

“Then come to me.” The low growl of his voice sent a delicious shiver through me.

My smile was wide as I said, “I’ll be there soon.” I ended the call and bounded out of bed, slipping on flip-flops and grabbing my purse before bolting out the door.

I made record time to the hospital and was now an expert at avoiding nurses as I crept to Kade’s room. When I slowly pushed open the door, I realized the machines had been removed. That was a good sign. That meant they’d be releasing him soon, I hoped.

I tiptoed into the room, conscious that Kade might have fallen asleep. My eyes hadn’t adjusted yet when I felt hands descend on my shoulders. I yelped in surprise, spinning around to see Kade standing behind me.

“You scared me,” I said, slightly breathless.

Kade’s face was steeped in shadow, whereas the meager light filtering in through the window in the door fell on me.

“You’re out of bed!” I said, a wide smile breaking across my face with the realization. “That’s fantastic!”

“Took a shower. Sick of sitting on my ass.”

I took a step or two back to put some space between us, then promptly forgot everything I was going to say.

Kade was completely naked.

Oh God.

“Wh-where’s your . . . your . . .” I stammered, my mind coming up empty. Bandages still covered the wounds in his chest, but it didn’t detract from the hard lines of muscle. His arms were relaxed at his sides, the veins standing out in stark relief from hours of pumping iron. My eyes dropped lower to see that being shot hadn’t affected Kade’s libido in the slightest. My mouth watered at the sight.

He did nothing to cover himself as my hungry gaze devoured him, and when I finally jerked my eyes back up to his, the smirk I knew so well curved his lips.

“See something you like?”

Kade’s low drawl had heat curling low in my belly.

“C’mere,” he said, crooking a finger to beckon me. His hair was still damp, the dark locks a midnight black, and he’d shaved.

I stepped forward, unable to resist the compulsion to obey him.

His hands rested on my hips and he tugged me closer until our bodies touched. Leaning down, his lips grazed my cheek, then whispered down my jaw to my neck.

“You smell like him,” Kade murmured against my skin.

I stiffened, my eyes flying open. I tried to step back, but Kade’s fingers bit into my flesh, holding me still. I didn’t know what to say. Should I apologize? My face grew hot and that squirmy feeling came back into my belly, the feeling like I was doing something wrong.

“I don’t care if you go to bed smelling like him, so long as you wake up smelling like me.”

Kade’s words had barely registered before he was kissing me. His taste was dark and dangerous. Addictive. I couldn’t get enough, and it seemed he couldn’t, either. Our tongues dueled while his hands roamed, sliding inside my shorts to cup my backside and hold me closer to him. The heat of his palm seemed to brand my skin. I couldn’t resist the temptation any longer and reached around him to squeeze his amazing ass. He groaned, the sound quickly consumed by our mouths. His cock grew harder as it pressed insistently against me. It took everything I had not to shove my shorts and underwear down my legs and climb him like a tree.

“You shouldn’t be doing this,” I gasped, pulling my lips from his. “You’re not well yet.”

Kade took my hand from his ass and wrapped it around his straining erection. “Does that feel like I’m not well?”

Desire pooled between my legs, soaking my panties.

“We can’t,” I said, though my words seemed a far cry from my actions as I gripped him, my hand sliding up and down his length.

“Then you’d better stop doing that,” Kade rasped.

Somehow, I managed to make myself release him and step away. I devoured him with my eyes, the fire burning in his gaze making me want to rip off my clothes and damn the consequences.

“Probably wasn’t the best idea to come here,” I admitted, forcing my eyes to look away. “I should go.”

“Don’t,” he said, taking a step toward me. “Don’t go. I’ll be good.”

I glanced at him and the skepticism must have shown on my face, because he followed up with “Scout’s honor.”

I rolled my eyes—Kade had never been a Boy Scout—but watched as he slid back into bed, pulling the sheet up to his waist. It didn’t hide the fact that he was still aroused, but at least it provided something of a barrier between his skin and mine.

“That better?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow.

Not really, I thought with an internal sigh of disappointment. It seemed a shame to waste his . . . energy. Shoving the errant thought aside, I climbed into bed beside him, nestling against his side while he curled an arm around my shoulders. I rested my hand on his chest, careful to avoid the bandages. The strong beat of his heart echoed against my fingertips, reassuring me.

“So Blane took you on a date tonight,” Kade said rather than asked.

“It wasn’t really a date,” I said. “Just dinner.”

“Did he pay?”

“Yes.”

“Did he kiss you?”

A bit of a hesitation this time. “Yes.”

“Then it was a date.” He paused for a moment before he spoke again. “It seems it’s going to be an all-out war for you, princess,” he mused.

I lifted my head, alarmed. “No,” I denied. “I don’t want that.”

“You say that as if you have a choice,” he replied, his tone derisive.

“I won’t have you two fighting over . . . over me,” I stammered, struggling to sit up and slide out of the bed. Kade’s grip tightened on me. “It’s ridiculous.”

Kade moved, turning so he lay half on top of me, pinning me to the bed. The sheet slid away and his leg pressed between mine.

“I want you,” he growled. “And I’m not giving up. Not now. Blane’s going to wine and dine you? That’s fine with me. I’ll just use sex to make you mine.”

I opened my mouth to argue that there was no point to it. Kade himself had said there was no future for us. But before I could, his leg moved and his hand was inside my shorts, his fingers slipping between my thighs. My words strangled in my throat.

Kade’s lips brushed mine, his tongue tracing my lower lip before he drew it into his mouth to lightly suck the tender flesh. His hand stroked me and my nails dug into his shoulders. “You’re so wet for me,” he murmured. “Like liquid silk.”

“I thought you were going to be good,” I managed to gasp.

“It will be,” he whispered. “Just spread your legs for me, baby.”

I couldn’t reply, forming words as far from my current ability to function as it was for me to perform cold fusion. Obediently, I opened my thighs to him, then I was lost in his touch, the taste of him as he kissed me, the feel of his body over mine. My fingers were buried in his hair, the long strands soft and damp.

He slid a finger inside me, then two, pumping them with slow, deliberate strokes while his thumb teased my clit. I moaned into his mouth as the blood in my veins pulsed in time to his fingers.

I had to tear my mouth from his so I could breathe, my panting gasps and moans filling my ears. Kade shoved my tank up, baring my breasts. His mouth fastened over a nipple and I cried out. My body was on fire, every sense focused utterly on what he was doing to me. His teeth tugged and his hand moved faster. A keening cry fell from my throat as stars exploded behind my eyes. I could feel my body convulsing, gripping his fingers as my orgasm washed over me. I pulled at his hair and his lips came back to mine. I sucked his tongue into my mouth, arching my back so my overly sensitive nipples grazed his chest.

Kade groaned, his fingers still buried inside me. It took a long moment before sanity returned. Kade’s mouth moved to my neck, nuzzling the tender skin beneath my ear.

My body felt boneless, the aftershocks still rippling through me. In the dark room with just us, nothing seemed more right than Kade’s and my bodies pressed together.

“That . . . that was . . .” I couldn’t come up with words that didn’t sound . . . inadequate. How to describe the way Kade made me feel? Not just sexually, but how happy I was when I was with him?

Kade’s breath was warm against my neck. He slowly withdrew his fingers, making me whimper. Though his fingers had been a fabulous substitute, I wanted him.

“This hasn’t exactly left you satisfied,” I said, my voice throatier than usual. I could feel his cock, still hard as a rock against my thigh. It had to be uncomfortable for him.

“Well, this wasn’t about me,” Kade said, stretching back onto his side next to me.

“What was it about?” I asked, tugging my shirt back down.

His smirk made my stomach flutter. “It was about reminding you of how good we are together,” he said.

Yes, sex with Kade was very, very good. And yet . . . “Is that all?”

His brows furrowed slightly. “What do you mean?”

I didn’t want to say it, didn’t want to push. I knew only too well how quickly Kade could run hot and cold. The last time I’d asked him to offer me something, he’d walked away. My heart sank.

I shook my head. “Forget it. Never mind.” I scooted out of his hold. “Listen, I’d better go. Let you get some sleep—”

Kade latched onto my arm, pulling me back. “What’s wrong?” he demanded. His eyes narrowed as he studied me.

“Nothing,” I insisted, avoiding his gaze as I tugged on my arm but was unable to break his grip. “It’s just late, that’s all.” Exhaustion was creeping over me. I’d made out with Blane just hours ago, then I’d just done . . . that . . . with Kade. I was turning into someone I despised.

“Bullshit.”

Tears stung my eyes. I had to get out of there. “Let me go?” I pleaded. Reluctantly, Kade released me. His expression was pained and I had to look away. “Get some rest, okay?” I babbled. “I’ll . . . uh . . . I’ll see you later.”

“Kathleen, wait—” Kade called, but I was out the door and hurrying down the empty hallway, my flip-flops echoing in the silence.

Tears were tracking down my cheeks as I hurried to my car. This was getting out of hand and I had no idea what to do. When I thought about losing Blane and Kade, the pain was nearly overwhelming. But when I considered the events of the past couple of days, how I was leading on both of the men I loved, I died a little inside.

Something had to break, before I did.