Point of No Return

CHAPTER FIVE

I drove home mechanically, everything on autopilot. My head throbbed from crying and my stomach was rolling. I trudged up the stairs to my apartment and unlocked the door.

Like a robot, I started sorting through the stack of mail sitting on my kitchen table, tossing three bills in a row into a separate pile. Two ads and a coupon book later, I saw an envelope that jerked me from my stupor. I’d been dreading this.

My grades had arrived.

I’d missed all my finals. I’d been kidnapped, then had attended Blane’s hearing, all of which forced me to skip the exams. The money I’d spent on the classes had been wasted.

I opened the envelope, steeling myself for what I’d see, then sat staring in astonishment.

Straight As.

But that was impossible! The final exam counted for half my grade in some of these classes. By all rights, the highest I could have possibly gotten was maybe a C, if the professor had been kind. They must have gotten things mixed up in the computer or something—wait.

Computers. Of course.

Kade had done this. That’s what he’d meant when he’d told me not to worry about it.

I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. I disliked cheating, but what was I going to do? Go in there and tell them my friend had hacked their computers and changed my grades? Right.

Tossing the paper onto the kitchen table, I heaved a sigh. I’d just have to ask Kade to change them back, that’s all. But later. Not right now. Not until he was better.

My bed beckoned, so I lay down and shut my eyes. I didn’t want to think, didn’t want to face the fact that I was pregnant.

So I slept, not waking until the insistent buzzing of my cell phone on the table beside me wouldn’t stop. I glanced at the caller ID. Alisha.

“Hey,” I answered tonelessly.

“Where are you?” she asked immediately.

“Home.”

“Well, come let me in then. I’ve been banging on your door for ten minutes.”

Obediently, I ended the call and climbed out of bed. I walked through the kitchen and living room to the front door, then opened it. Alisha stood there.

“You’ve had me worried sick,” she complained, following me inside. “You didn’t call me back after you talked to the doctor. I’ve been imagining all kinds of horrible things.” She plopped down next to where I’d settled on the sofa. “So what did he say?”

“She,” I automatically corrected.

Alisha rolled her eyes. “Just tell me.”

Part of me, the irrational part that still hoped this was all a nightmare, didn’t want to tell her because that would mean it was real. I forced myself to speak.

“She said . . . she said I’m pregnant,” I stammered, my eyes filling with tears again.

Alisha looked as stunned as I still felt, but when she saw me start crying, she wrapped me in a tight hug.

“It’ll be okay,” she crooned to me as I sobbed.

“N-no, it w-won’t,” I sputtered through my tears.

“Of course it will,” she soothed, patting me on the shoulder as I eased back from her. She grabbed a tissue box from the coffee table and handed it to me. “So, do you, um . . . know . . . who the father is?”

“Geez, Alisha!” I said in exasperation. “Please tell me you did not just ask me that.”

“Hey, no judgment,” she said, putting her hands up in a gesture of surrender. “I’m your friend here, remember?”

I sighed. “I know. And yeah, I know who the father is.” I swallowed. “It’s . . . it’s Kade.”

“Yes!” Alisha hissed, squeezing her eyes shut and pumping her fist.

I laughed a little at her antics. “Nice,” I said dryly, though she smiled innocently at me.

My smile faded. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. What’s Blane going to say? And Kade—he’s just going to totally freak out.”

“What does Blane have to do with anything?” she huffed.

“They’re brothers, Alisha,” I sighed. “It’s bad enough I fell in love with both of them. Slept with both of them. When I think of how they’re going to react to this news . . . ?” I shuddered, unable to finish the thought aloud. I swallowed. “Blane’s going to hate me. Kade will pretend he doesn’t care what Blane thinks, but we both know that’s not true. Not to mention the fact that Kade and I haven’t discussed anything long-term, and now I have to tell him he’s going to be a father. The longest I’ve ever seen him stay in one place is a few weeks.”

Alisha seemed to digest this before asking, “So what’re you going to do?”

“I have absolutely no idea.” My throat closed up again, but I forced the next thought out, putting my worst fear into words. “What if he leaves, Alisha? What if he just leaves me?”

She took my hand. “Hey,” she said, forcing me to look at her. “You’re not alone, no matter what Blane and Kade do or don’t do. You have me. You have your friends. You won’t be going through this alone.”

I couldn’t speak through the lump in my throat, so I squeezed her hand, hoping she understood what I was unable to say.

“I’m hungry,” she said, sitting back and abruptly changing the subject. “I think I have a pizza in my freezer. Want to come help me eat it?”

My stomach growled and I realized I was famished. I hadn’t eaten all day and frozen pizza sounded like heaven.

“Yeah, let me just run a brush through my hair and I’ll be over,” I said.

She agreed and left after making me promise I wouldn’t take longer than a few minutes. I was just finishing brushing my teeth when my cell rang.

It was Kade.

I took a deep breath before I answered. I wanted to sound normal. I wasn’t ready to tell him yet, especially not over the phone.

“Hey,” I answered, making my voice bright and forcing a smile.

“I hope you’re taking it easy tonight,” Kade said.

“Um, yeah, I . . . uh . . . was going to visit with Alisha for a while, maybe go to bed early.” I winced, remembering how I’d practically begged him to let me come back to the hospital tonight. Now I knew there was no way I could see him. I wouldn’t be able to hide this from him. He’d see through me immediately.

“Good,” he said. “I’m worried about you.”

“No need,” I replied, keeping my voice light. “I’m fine.” And I was. The doctor said I was perfectly fine . . . for a woman growing another person inside her.

I smacked my palm against my forehead. Stop thinking about it stop thinking about it stop—

“Doctor says I get to blow this joint tomorrow, finally,” he groused.

“Want me to pick you up?”

“Blane’s coming to get me. You don’t have to.”

I let out a silent sigh of relief. Alrighty then. That’d be a big, fat Hell no, at least on my part. A car ride with all three of us? No way could I handle that.

“Okay, that’s good,” I said, then realized how that sounded. “I mean, that you’re getting out.”

Kade was quiet for a moment, then said, “Blane said you collapsed from exhaustion this morning.”

I forced a laugh. “Collapsed sounds so dramatic! No, I just had a . . . a spell, that’s all. Shouldn’t have skipped dinner last night, I guess.” Another fake laugh that petered away into awkward silence.

“Wow. You are really bad at that.”

“At what?” I asked, stung.

“At lying.” I could hear the eye-roll in his tone. “But since I want you to get some rest and I’ll get it out of you tomorrow anyway, I’ll let it pass.”

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes. “Whatever,” I muttered, channeling my inner teenager.

“Catch you on the flip side, princess.” The line went dead.

I stood there a moment, trying not to acknowledge the panic rising inside me. Alisha had helped a little, but now the doubts and fear came rushing back.

What was I doing to do? Like, really? Was I really going to greet Kade tomorrow with “Hi! So glad you’re out of the hospital! Guess what? I’m pregnant! Congrats!”

My hands started to shake as my head continued playing out the drama.

“Congratulations, Blane! You’re going to be an uncle! I know it was just eight months ago when we thought I was pregnant with your baby. This time the test came back positive!”

My knees started knocking as I imagined the look on both of their faces.

“Oh my God,” I moaned, sinking onto my couch. I couldn’t do it. Literally. I could not face Blane and Kade and tell them this. Would Kade even want the baby? What if he didn’t? It had been hard enough for him to accept what a liability I had become in his life. What would a baby, his own flesh and blood, do to him?

I started seeing spots and realized I was hyperventilating. I bent over, sticking my head between my knees, and tried to breathe. After a few minutes, my vision cleared.

Suddenly, I wanted to be close to Kade, but going to the hospital was out of the question. What I could do, though, was go to his apartment. All his things were there, I’d feel better, and he’d be none the wiser.

Grabbing my keys, I headed out the door, stopping by to tell Alisha I’d changed my mind on the pizza thing. She looked concerned but let me go. I think she realized I needed more time to come to grips with the new twist my life had just taken.

Kade lived only minutes from my apartment, and in no time I was parking in the garage and letting myself into his place. He’d given me his keys last week, in case I needed “something other than a piece of shit” to drive.

Kade’s apartment was dark, save for the soft glow of the two lamps that hung over the bar. They were glass shades handmade in amber hues. The penthouse loft was quiet and still, the low hum of the refrigerator and the ticking of a clock the only sounds.

I felt the knot in my stomach ease as I stood there. Going into his bedroom, I stripped and took a shower, taking too long sniffing his shampoo. When I got out and dried off, I searched his clothes, grabbing a black T-shirt he’d worn and discarded. Holding it to my nose, I inhaled deeply. It smelled of Kade.

Dropping the towel, I pulled the shirt on over my head before crawling into his bed. Nuzzling my face into his pillow, I let out a deep sigh, drifting off to sleep.

My blood pounded in my veins and I moaned. There was the most delicious sensation between my legs. Warm and wet, a gentle nudge pushing my knees farther apart. Hands slipped between my folds for a touch even more intimate.

Pulling myself out of a deep slumber, I realized it wasn’t a dream. The sheets and blanket had been tugged down to my feet and a man’s head lay between my thighs, his mouth and tongue on me, inside me.

Jerking fully awake, I squeaked in alarm. Then he raised his head and the piercing blue of his eyes met mine.

Kade.

I didn’t know how he’d gotten here or why he was no longer in the hospital, since they weren’t supposed to release him until tomorrow, and I didn’t care. I sat up quickly, my hands gripping his bare shoulders and pulling. I needed him. Now.

Our lips met in fevered passion and I was gratified he’d already shed his clothes. Moving up my body, our mouths still connected, he settled between my thighs. We parted only long enough for him to jerk my shirt over my head and toss it aside, then he was kissing me again. He pushed inside me in one strong thrust.

Mewling and sounds I couldn’t control emanated from my throat as I wrapped my legs around his waist. Each stroke of his cock pushed me closer to the edge and my nails dug into his shoulders. My hips lifted to meet his thrusts until I couldn’t keep up with his pace. Harder and faster and deeper until I was on fire. My orgasm seemed to reach all the way to my toes, Kade swallowing my cries, his length growing thicker inside me. His hips jackknifed into me as a hard tremor shook him, pushing me over the edge again, my body convulsing around his. He gave a masculine moan that was one of the best sounds I’d ever heard.

My legs were still wrapped around him, my heels resting on his ass, as we both lay there, panting. My heart thundered in my chest and I could feel that his pulse wasn’t exactly normal, either.

Propping himself up on his arms, Kade looked down at me. I smiled—I couldn’t help it. What other reaction could I possibly have to being woken by Kade making love to me?

He leaned down, pressing a hot, wet kiss to my lips, his tongue dipping inside to stroke mine. His hand brushed the hair back from my face as he cupped my cheek. My internal muscles tightened reflexively and he groaned.

“Best get-well present ever,” he breathed against my lips.

I snorted a laugh, pushing against him a bit so I could see his eyes. “Best waking-up present ever,” I teased.

His eyes smiled at me as he placed a gentle kiss on the tip of my nose. I lifted my hand, tracing the contour of a dark eyebrow with my thumb, my palm resting against his cheek. He turned his head slightly, pressing his lips into the center of my palm.

Easing off me, he rolled to the side, taking me with him so we lay face-to-face. He propped his head on one hand, leaning on his elbow, and I mirrored him.

“I thought they weren’t letting you out until tomorrow,” I said.

Kade found my hand, lacing our fingers together. “I decided to leave early,” he said.

A twinge of alarm ran through me. “What do you mean?” I asked. “You left against doctor’s orders?”

“Calm down,” he said. “I’m fine. I couldn’t stand being in there another minute. The stitches are healing well and everything looked good. So I left.”

I heaved a sigh, falling onto my back and looking up at the ceiling. I couldn’t blame him—I hated hospitals, too—but I worried.

“Besides,” he said, making me look back over at him, “how could I stay in the hospital when I could be here? Doing this?” He leaned down, bracing himself as he lowered his head to my breasts. His lips brushed one acutely sensitive nipple and I sucked in a breath, watching as his mouth closed over me. His tongue began doing things that made heat pool again between my thighs, his fingers tweaking and rolling my other nipple until I was gasping.

“You have,” he said, switching his mouth to the other breast, which seemed to tremble with want for the same lavish attention, “the most amazing breasts. Have I told you that? I should tell you that. Every. Day.” Then his mouth was again working its magic and my eyes slammed shut. I felt his hand move down between my legs, his fingers becoming slick with our fluids as he stroked me.

“Oh God oh God oh God,” I moaned, my hips lifting to meet his now thrusting fingers.

“You can call me Kade,” he whispered against my lips.

I buried my hands in the thick softness of his hair as he kissed me. His hand moved faster, his touch gentle but persistent. Kade’s mouth moved to trail down my neck, his teeth settling around my nipple with a soft tug. Stars exploded behind my eyes and I cried out, a wave of pleasure pulsing through me.

Kade was still nuzzling my breasts when at last I could again breathe normally and opened my eyes. My limbs felt languid and heavy.

“That was . . .” I began, but trailed off. Words couldn’t describe it.

“Amazing? Mind-blowing? The earth moved?” Kade asked, pressing light kisses to my neck and shoulder.

I laughed. “Modest, aren’t you?”

“I’ve never claimed that as one of my virtues. Actually, I’ve never claimed any virtues at all. They’re overrated.” He pulled me into him, tucking my head against his chest. “Go to sleep, princess,” he said. His lips brushed my forehead.

I was too exhausted and sated to even contemplate all the things I should be worrying about. Kade was here. I focused on that. I hadn’t realized until now how much it had bothered me that he’d been in the hospital and how relieved I’d be when he was out. But it was as though a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

And I slept.

When I woke, I was alone in bed and sunlight was filtering in through the windows. I stretched, feeling a familiar soreness between my legs. Getting up, I went to the bathroom, eyeing the grin on my face that I couldn’t seem to help. I took a quick shower and pulled on one of Kade’s clean T-shirts before venturing to find him.

He was in his office, seated in front of his computer. Four large flat-screen monitors sat on the desk, obstructing my view of him. I sidled around the desk and he glanced up at me. He wore only a pair of pajama bottoms, leaving his chest deliciously bare. I noticed his hair was damp. He must have showered as well.

“Good morning,” I said with a smile, sliding between his chair and the desk. Kade quickly reached out and hit a key on his keyboard. All four screens went dark.

I sat sideways on his lap and his hands settled on my hips. Leaning down, I gave him the best kiss I could before having my morning coffee. It must have been pretty good, because I could feel the surge of his response beneath me. When I pulled back, he was looking at me. His brows were drawn together, an emotion I couldn’t read on his face, and his hand came up to cradle my cheek.

My smile faded at his expression. “What is it? What’s wrong?” I asked in alarm. “Are you in pain?” I started to climb off his lap, but his grip tightened, holding me in place.

He shook his head. “I’m fine.”

I studied him, frowning, but couldn’t be sure he was telling me the truth. Suddenly, the blank monitors at my back reminded me.

“Hey,” I said, “we have a problem.” Kade’s body stilled. “You changed my grades,” I continued.

Kade relaxed slightly, his breath releasing. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said blandly. His hands were creeping underneath my shirt and I grabbed his wrists.

“You need to change them back,” I insisted.

Kade cocked an eyebrow. “Make me.” A smirk teased his lips and I couldn’t be mad at him. I’d been so afraid I would never see that smirk again, hear him tease me again.

“C’mon,” he said, standing and setting me on my feet. “I’m starving.”

Enfolding my hand in his, Kade tugged me with him to the kitchen. I sat at the dining table while he peered into the refrigerator. A few minutes later, he was cracking eggs into a bowl while coffee brewed.

I got up and went over to watch him, hopping up to sit on the counter.

“I didn’t know you cooked,” I said as he scrambled the eggs and dumped them into a sauté pan.

“One of my many talents,” Kade said, shooting me a smile. “Though if you want to strip down and make some muffins, I won’t stop you.”

I laughed, remembering when I’d last tried to cook for Kade and had forgotten a key ingredient. He’d walked in on me bare-ass naked as I tried to save the muffins.

“I’ll spare you having to stomach my cooking,” I retorted with a grin.

A few minutes later, he’d slid two omelets onto plates and poured two cups of coffee. I sat beside him at the table as he dug in, smiling to myself. His appetite was back, that was good.

Forking a bite of omelet, I popped it into my mouth, then froze. I loved eggs, but something about the omelet was . . . off. The texture suddenly seemed very, very wrong.

My stomach heaved, and I shot up from my chair and ran for the bathroom. I made it just in time.

I threw up, bent over the toilet, until there was nothing but dry heaves, noticing only then that Kade stood behind me, holding my hair back from my face. My eyes were watering and a wet washcloth suddenly appeared in my line of vision.

“Here,” Kade said gently.

I took the cloth and wiped my face, sitting back against the wall in exhaustion. Kade flushed the toilet and shut the lid, then crouched down beside me.

“Is there something you want to tell me?” he asked.

His blue eyes stared intently into mine and I abruptly realized the truth.

“You already know, don’t you,” I managed to say. It wasn’t a question.

Kade’s gaze was steady. “That doesn’t mean I don’t want to hear you say it.”

This was it. The moment I’d been anticipating and dreading. So much depended on his reaction to this news, though I supposed if he already knew and wasn’t running for the door, that was something.

“I’m having a baby,” I blurted. “Your baby.” Then I held my breath.

Kade smiled, a real one that lit up his eyes, and he said the most perfect thing I could imagine.

“You mean we are having a baby.”

Tears filled my eyes and I threw my arms around his neck just as he gathered me close. It was exactly the embrace I’d hoped to experience when I’d dreamed of having children and imagined telling the father the news that I was pregnant. The fact that Kade was that man staggered me, especially as I considered how he and I had begun compared to where we were now.

“Feeling better?” he asked, loosening his hold on me. I sat back and nodded. “Good. Let’s get you some crackers or something—how does that sound?”

“Okay,” I agreed. “I’ll be out in a minute.”

Kade helped me to my feet and left the bathroom. I quickly brushed my teeth, glad the nausea had abated, though I didn’t think I’d be eating eggs anytime soon.

By the time I came out, Kade had finished off both omelets and was putting the plates into the dishwasher. I noticed he’d thoughtfully put some soda crackers and dry toast at my place setting. I sat in the chair I’d abandoned, pulling my knees to my chest, and nibbled on a cracker.

“How did you know?” I asked.

Kade turned around to look at me, leaning back against the counter while he sipped his coffee. My gaze drifted down to the way the muscles in his chest and arm moved. The pajamas he wore rode low on his hips. A line of dark hair that began just below his navel and disappeared behind the waistband drew my eye.

“If you expect to have an actual conversation, you’ll have to keep your eyes above my waist.”

I jerked my gaze up to his, the mischief in his eyes and knowing tilt to his lips made my breath catch. I was still overwhelmed by the sheer beauty of Kade.

“Sorry,” I mumbled around the cracker I’d stuffed in my mouth. My hormones seemed to be working overtime, even after our middle-of-the-night lovemaking, and the last thing I wanted to put in my mouth was another dry cracker. I chewed and swallowed before asking again, “So how did you know?”

“Hacked your medical records,” he replied with a careless shrug before taking another sip.

My hand froze halfway to my mouth, the cracker I held, forgotten. I suddenly remembered the computer screens that he’d caused to go dark the moment I’d stepped into his office. He must have been looking at my records right then.

“You hacked—”

“Now don’t get all pissed off,” Kade interrupted, setting his coffee down and walking over to me. “Stop and think. Does it really surprise you that I’d do that?”

Well . . . no. It didn’t. But I felt like I should be mad—it was an invasion of privacy, after all. Then again, we were having a baby together. Was the privacy of my medical records from my baby’s father really a top concern right then?

Nope.

“If you weren’t still wearing bandages, then I’d be mad at you,” I said loftily.

“Then I’ll have to make sure to wear them at all times,” he shot back, pulling me to my feet. His hands drifted under the hem of my shirt, cupping my bottom through the thin pair of boxer shorts I’d found to wear.

“Oooh, boy’s underwear,” Kade breathed against my lips. “Sexy.”

My giggle was muffled by his mouth as he kissed me, then his fingers slipped inside the shorts and I stopped laughing.

Afterward, we lay in companionable silence on Kade’s bed, me on my back and Kade between my legs, his cheek resting on my stomach. My pulse was slowly returning to normal as my fingers threaded leisurely through Kade’s hair, the strands soft as corn silk.

He turned his head and placed a gentle kiss low on my abdomen, right under my navel, and my heart turned over in my chest.

“I was so afraid you’d be angry,” I said softly.

Kade looked up at me, laying an arm across my stomach and resting his chin on it.

“Why would I be angry?” he asked, frowning.

I shrugged. “Bad timing, I guess. And I just . . . didn’t know how you’d feel about it.”

Kade looked at me for a moment, his blue eyes seeing too much, then he crawled up my body until he hovered over me.

“I love you,” he said. “How could I possibly be mad about the best thing that’s ever happened to me?”

I reached up and curled my arms around his neck, pulling him down to me. My vision was blurred with tears.

“Don’t cry,” he whispered in my ear, his lips brushing away the wet tracks down the side of my face.

“I’m not crying because I’m sad,” I whispered back. “I’m crying because I’m happy.” I smiled through my tears.

“Oh. Well, I guess that’s all right then,” he said, his cocky grin returning. He flopped onto the bed beside me, swiping the wet trails from my face. “So, I have a business thing I have to do in Boston. Want to come with?”

My heart leapt. He was taking me with him. “Absolutely,” I said, my smile so wide it almost hurt, then I remembered something and my smile faded.

“What?” Kade asked, frowning.

I hesitated. “Are you—” I began, then cut myself off. I wasn’t sure how to ask what was inside my head.

“Am I what?” Kade repeated.

“Are you going to keep doing the same job?” I blurted, my face heating. I didn’t want that, didn’t want Kade to continue taking contracts as an assassin. I’d always felt that a little of his soul died every time he killed someone. He was better than that, deserved better than that. And I didn’t want to think about how dangerous his job was or how many close calls he’d no doubt had over the years.

“I told you in Vegas that I was starting something new,” he said, reaching out to play with a strand of my hair. He idly twisted the long curl around his finger.

“I know,” I said, “but after what happened, I wasn’t sure if—”

“Shhh.” He placed a finger against my lips. “I’ll make it work. I’ll keep you and the baby safe. I won’t let anything happen to you. I’m through doing what I used to do. I promise.”

Kade did not make promises. Ever. The fact that he’d just done so momentarily robbed me of speech.

“You’d do that for me?” I asked.

Kade leaned over, resting his body half atop mine, and kissed me. When he pulled back, his blue eyes stared into mine. “I’d do anything for you.”

Tears flooded my eyes again and I wrapped my arms around him, holding him as tight as I could. Finally, we parted.

“Before we go,” I said, “we have to tell Blane.”

A heavy silence fell between us at the mention of his name. Kade turned onto his back, his gaze on the ceiling.

“I’ll do it,” he offered.

“No. I should be the one to tell him.” He turned to look at me. “He deserves that much,” I said. Though I quaked inside at just the thought of that conversation.

Kade wasn’t smiling, and his brows were drawn together in a frown. The deep blue of his gaze held mine for a long moment.

“All right,” he said finally. “Tell him tonight. We leave tomorrow.”

I swallowed. “Okay.”

I tried to remember the conviction I’d felt earlier that I should be the one to do this as I stood outside Blane’s house in the deepening twilight shadows. I’d driven around the block at least half a dozen times before I finally mustered up the courage to actually park, then had taken another ten minutes before I’d convinced myself to get out of the car.

Now I stood staring at the forbidding front door, trying to persuade myself to knock. It was nearly dark and if I kept standing there, the mosquitoes were going to eat me alive.

I raised my hand just as the door suddenly swung open. I jumped back, startled, then saw it was Mona.

“Kathleen!” she exclaimed in surprise. “I wasn’t expecting you there.” She smiled and reached out to hug me. “So good to see you.”

I hugged her back. “Good to see you, too,” I replied.

We parted and I cleared my throat, glancing nervously over her shoulder into the darkened hallway.

“Um, is Blane home?” I asked, the coward in me fervently wishing he wasn’t.

“He is,” she confirmed, dashing my hopes. “I believe he’s in the library. Shall I announce you?”

I shook my head. “That’s okay. May I come in?”

“Of course.” She stepped back to let me in, then passed me as she moved out the door. “Just heading home for the evening. Good night!”

“Night, Mona,” I said.

She closed the door behind her, leaving me standing in the empty hallway.

Memories assailed me and I wondered, not for the first time, if I was doing the right thing. There was so much history between Blane and me, my feelings for him so confused, that I nearly turned around and walked out.

But I couldn’t do that. He needed to know, and didn’t deserve hearing it from someone other than me.

The door to the library was closed. I raised my hand and knocked.

“Come in,” I heard after a moment.

Tentatively, I turned the knob and pushed open the door.

“Leaving for the night, Mona?” Blane asked, his voice flat. His back was to me. He sat at the piano, smoke from the cigarette in his hand curling as it drifted upward. Only one lamp was lit in the far corner, leaving much of the room in shadows.

I couldn’t speak. The loneliness of the scene broke my heart.

When I didn’t answer, Blane half turned, and spotted me. He froze for a moment, then deliberately stubbed out his cigarette and stood.

The sleeves of his shirt were unbuttoned, the cuffs turned back. His hair was mussed slightly, and he quickly ran his fingers through it to arrange it properly as he walked toward me.

“Kat,” he said when he was close, “I wasn’t expecting you.”

I forced myself to speak. “I’m sorry to intrude, to be here uninvited,” I began, the stilted formality between us making my voice shake.

“It’s all right,” he interrupted. “Come in. Sit down. Let me get you a drink.”

“No, that’s—”

But he was already moving to the sideboard, pouring two glasses of scotch. Returning, he handed me one and I laid down my keys to take it from him.

“Sit down,” he encouraged, but I remained standing.

“Blane—” I began, but he interrupted again.

“I apologize about yesterday,” he said gruffly. “I was worried, and I had a shitty way of showing it.”

“It’s okay,” I said, guilt rising like nausea. His eyes were a brilliant green as he watched me, seeming to drink in my presence.

Although I wanted nothing more than to swallow the liquid courage in my hand, I carefully set aside the glass he’d given me. “Blane, I came tonight to tell you something,” I said.

He didn’t answer. He just looked at me.

“Kade and me—” My voice faltered and I had to force the words out, cringing inwardly as I did so. “Blane, I’m pregnant.”

Blane’s whole body went still as stone. I waited, expecting . . . I don’t know what. But he did nothing for several moments.

“Please,” I said in a broken whisper when I couldn’t stand the silence any longer, “say something.”

My words seemed to jar him and he lifted his glass to his lips, taking a long swallow of the amber fluid.

“Congratulations,” he rasped.

I waited, but he said nothing more. “That’s it?” I asked. “That’s all you’re going to say?”

“What more do you want from me?” he yelled, making me jump.

I stared at him, wide-eyed, but he didn’t yell again. Instead, his jaw clenched tightly before he turned away and headed to the sideboard to refill his glass. His voice was toneless when he said, “I’m sure you can see yourself out.”

My throat closed off as I choked back a sob, his coldness cutting me so deep it felt like ice had buried itself in my stomach. Turning, I rushed from the room, flinging myself out of the house and half running toward my car.

I leaned against the metal, still lukewarm from the day’s heat, and cried. I hadn’t known what I’d expected. There was no path back to what Blane and I had once been.

After several minutes, I regained control of myself and got in the car. Only then did I realize I’d left my keys inside the house.

“Dammit!” I exploded, slamming a hand against the steering wheel. I roughly brushed my hands across my cheeks and cursed six ways from Sunday over what I knew I had to do.

Getting out of the car, I walked back inside, only to stumble to a halt inside the doorway.

Crashes. The sound of breaking glass.

My feet moved until I was standing in the open door to the library, aghast and staring in dismay at what Blane had wrought.

The room was demolished. Everything breakable was smashed, glass and shards of wood littering the floor. Books from the shelves were strewn everywhere. The flat-screen television had been ripped from its alcove on the wall and thrown onto the floor. The only thing that remained untouched was the piano, which stood, pristine, in the midst of chaos.

Blane stood in the center of the room, his shoulders heaving from exertion. I watched in silence as he pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and removed one. He set it to his lips with hands that shook slightly. I heard the rasp of a lighter, and then he saw me.

He seemed to hesitate for a moment, then finished lighting the cigarette and took a long drag.

“Was there something else?” he said on an exhale. “You wanted revenge? Congratulations. You got it.”

“How could you possibly think that?” I asked, sudden anger rising in me. “You ended us first, Blane, not me. Was I supposed to come running back to you every time you broke my trust? Did you think there wouldn’t be consequences? Or did you just think you could control those, too?”

Our eyes held and Blane was the one to finally glance away, taking another drag of the cigarette.

I sighed and rubbed a hand across my forehead. A headache was coming on. “I’m sorry, Blane,” I said. “I’m sorry this happened. I never meant to fall in love with Kade, never meant to hurt you in this way. I know you may not believe it, but it’s killing me, seeing you like this. I just—” I broke off and had to swallow, then took a deep breath. “Please forgive me.”

Blane stubbed out his cigarette and sighed. He pushed one hand through his hair while the other rested on his hip.

“It’s just so sudden, Kat,” he said, his voice edged in bitterness. “A few months ago, I thought maybe it would be us starting a family, and I wanted that so goddamn much. Then everything went to shit. I thought I might get you back, that I still had a chance, and now that’s shot to hell, too.” He paused. “I can’t forgive you. Not yet.”

I nodded, unable to speak. Moving forward and avoiding his eyes, I snagged my keys off the table.

“Kade and I are leaving town tomorrow,” I said. “Heading to Boston, I think. Kade has business there.”

Blane didn’t say anything, just nodded and turned away. Hesitantly, I moved toward him, my steps muffled by the carpet. When I was close enough, I slid my arms around his waist and rested my cheek against his back, squeezing him in a hug. His body was stiff, unyielding, and he gave no sign at all that he even noticed me.

Stepping away from him, I left without another word.