Pure Bliss

Chapter Twelve

James looked up at Hope and promised himself he would get her naked again soon. She was dressed, all buttoned up and proper looking, but he knew the truth. He’d seen the real Hope, the sexy, amazing, beautiful Hope who had just ruined him for all other women.

It had been absolutely perfect.

So why was his heart aching? Why was he wondering where Noah was and how he was doing? He was being a complete idiot. Noah was going to get what he deserved. He was going to have to deal with the fact that Hope would choose him. Noah was going to have to watch as he and Hope started a life together. Noah was going to have to be the one on the outside.

What the hell was he doing?

“Are you coming?” Hope asked, smoothing down her hair. “Shouldn’t you put on your pants?”

He didn’t see a need for pants when she was around. They just got in the way of his dick. He’d fucked her so hard he shouldn’t be able to use the damn thing for a while, but it looked like Hope was the ultimate cure for erectile problems. His well-used cock was stirring at the thought of flipping that skirt up again. Noah had been right about one thing. She didn’t need panties. He would make sure all of her panties mysteriously disappeared.

God, he didn’t want to leave this room. Leaving this room meant deciding things he wasn’t ready to decide.

Noah was in love with Hope. He’d just forced Noah to watch as he made love to the woman Noah was crazy about, and he hadn’t offered to share. He was feeling a little dirty. Not because of what he’d done with Hope but because he knew damn well she wanted Noah, too, and he’d kept them apart. He hadn’t done what he’d wanted to do. He hadn’t held her breasts up and offered his brother a taste. He hadn’t asked his brother to hold her down while he tongue fucked her. He hadn’t placed her between him and Noah so she knew damn well she was protected on all sides.

It was counter to everything he believed, but he just wasn’t ready to let Noah back in. The wound was too deep, and Noah walking back in the way he had was like ripping the scab off. James was bleeding again, and he wasn’t sure how to stop.

“I’m coming.” He grabbed his jeans. “How does your bottom feel?”

She flushed. After all the nasty stuff he’d done to her, she could still look so innocent. “It’s fine.”

“You liked your massage.” After he’d wrung several more orgasms out of her, he’d laid her down on the massage table and taken care of her the way he should. He’d deeply enjoyed rubbing every inch of her skin and listening to her purr.

“I liked everything, James. You know I did, but now I’m hungry, and it’s almost dinnertime. Did you plan to feed me?”

Dinner. Damn. He actually hadn’t thought of that. After the way she’d sweetly submitted, he owed her a nice dinner and some serious cuddling. He owed her his care. He scrambled. “We’ll go into town. We can go to Trio and have a couple of beers.”

There was no way to miss the change that came over her. Her whole body stiffened, the joy leaving her eyes. What had he said?

“Or wine. I could get us a bottle of wine. I don’t know much about it, but Alexei probably does. He spent all that time in Europe and those people supposedly know their stuff.”

She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “I don’t think Alexei was a very cosmopolitan European. He spent most of his time with the mob. He probably knows his vodka better than wine.”

“Then he can make you one of those fruity martinis like the apple ones.” He would buy her drinks all night if it got her to relax. Maybe she would start talking if he got her a little tipsy. A little liquor might loosen her up and give him a hint of the stress she was under. He would get her all relaxed and make love to her again, and then he would gently bring up the subject of what was giving her nightmares.

She shook her head. “No. I can’t go out tonight. I…I need to go check on Noah. He looked very upset when he left.”

She started out the door. James stared, his mouth hanging open. Was she serious? He’d just spent hours making love to her, and she was going to check on Noah?

He reached for his shirt, hauling it over his head. “Hope. You stay right here.”

She stopped at the doorway. “I’m just going next door. I need to rest. It’s been a long day.”

Yeah, it had been a long damn week. He’d lost his best friends, had to deal with the fact that his brother was back, and he’d finally acknowledged that he was in love. Fuck. He was in love with Hope. It had to be love since he’d never had this sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach simply because a woman was leaving the room.

Usually it was a bit of a relief. He’d had female friends. He loved the women of the town, but not a one of them, not a single lover in his background, made him feel the way Hope did.

“We’re going to talk about it, Hope. You can walk away right now, but we’re going to talk about whatever it is that’s bothering you. Tonight.” He was past done. He could feel walls going up between them. She had been completely open with him in bed, but now she was shutting down again, and he wasn’t going to let that happen. No way. “And don’t think you can bring Noah into this. I’m not going to let you use my brother to manipulate me.”

Hope’s eyes flared, a little spark coming into them. “Me? You think I’m using Noah to manipulate you?”

A flare of guilt gnawed at his gut, but he powered through it. “Why else would you get out of bed with me to go see him? We just settled this, Hope. You made your choice.”

“Choice?” Hope asked. “I had a choice?”

James wasn’t going to back down. “Yes. Me or Noah. Me, who you’ve known for over a year, or a man who just walked into your life and has a bad reputation for walking right back out.”

Those warm brown eyes pinned him. “Is that right? Well, it seems to me this amazing choice you’re giving me is between a man who ignored me for a year and a man who wanted me the minute he saw me. And he didn’t know I even lived in Bliss. Noah didn’t run away from me.”

“Yeah, well you just haven’t given him enough time.” Bitterness welled. She was going to choose Noah. She was going to choose Noah because he was smarter, more educated, more urbane. He’d gone to college and lived in New York City. He hadn’t spent his whole life dirty and sweaty.

Hope softened. “James, can we all just sit down and talk?”

Yeah, Noah could talk a blue streak, and all James could do was sit there and be the idiot cowboy. “Ain’t no reason to talk, baby. You want Noah, have at it.”

Hope’s fists clenched at her sides. “I didn’t say that. I said I wanted to talk to him. James, he’s your brother.”

“He’s no blood of mine.” Noah wanted to walk off with the girl. It was what he’d always done. “My family is buried on the north hill, and it’s going to stay that way. This ranch is the only thing that matters.”

He’d always known it deep down. It was the truth of his life. He’d had a vision of clarity years ago as he’d stood in the driveway and watched Noah drive off toward a future they should have shared. God, had he not forgiven his brother for that, either? Had he not forgiven him for going off to college?

And why should he? If the shoe had been on the other foot, he wouldn’t have left. James would have stayed and worked the ranch with Noah.

“James, that’s not true.” Hope had softened, stepping a bit closer.

James backed away. “What do you know about it, Hope? Do you have any sisters? You ever had one of them betray you over a lover?”

Her hand fluttered up as though she wanted to touch him, but she drew it back. “That’s not what happened. James, he was young and stupid. He made a terrible mistake but it doesn’t mean he didn’t love you.”

That just proved she didn’t know a damn thing. “You weren’t here. And I don’t care how young and stupid he was. He has to stand up for his actions. He can’t expect to just let the fact that he was a dumb kid excuse his behavior. I was a year older, and I did the right thing. I didn’t run away from my obligations. That kind of thing can’t be made right.”

Hope went stark white, the color and sympathy leaving her face in an instant. “I guess you’re right. You can never fix some mistakes.”

She turned and walked out.

James picked up his boots and followed her. “Hope, don’t you walk away from me.”

She didn’t turn, but he saw her head shake. “I’m leaving, James. I’ll call Lucy to come get me.”

God, they were back to that again? “You will not.”

She reached the front door and finally looked at him. Tears were streaking down her face. What the hell was that about? “I will. I’m not going to let you use me to punish Noah. And you’re right. I don’t really know him. I’m an idiot. I just never learn. I will this time, James. You just go on and find your perfect woman who never did anything wrong and doesn’t have a past. The rest of us aren’t good enough for you.”

And he deserved that, why? “Hope, I was talking about Noah, baby. I wasn’t talking about you. Hell, you are perfect. Come on. Come back to bed and we can talk. Just you and me. Just tell me what’s going on, and I’ll take care of it. I’ll take care of you. I won’t let anything or anyone hurt you.”

He would wrap her in his care. He would make damn sure nothing ever made her sad again.

Except losing Noah. If he did this, would she always miss Noah? Would she come to hate him for forcing her to choose?

She shook her head, tears falling. “No. If you really knew me, you wouldn’t want me anymore. I can see that now. It’s better to walk away.”

She opened the door and walked out.

James followed. How had everything gone so damn wrong? What could Hope have done? “If you think I’m going to let you go, you’re wrong, Hope.”

Hope stopped on the porch, her shoulders squared. “I think you’re going to have to. It looks like you have company.”

James followed her line of sight. Noah was walking out of the house followed by Trev, Henry Flanders, and a woman. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Serena walked with them, a bottle of champagne in her hand and a smile on her face. He was screwed.

“Not serious, huh?” Hope asked.

“No. It is not serious. I saw her twice. I have been utterly open and honest with you. I slept with her, yes, but I didn’t promise her anything.” He was starting to panic. What the hell was he going to do if Hope really walked out? He’d spent so much time running from her, but now the thought of not knowing where she was made him nauseous. Hope was his. She had to be because he couldn’t imagine his life without her.

“You didn’t make any promises to me, either, James.” Her face was flat without a lick of emotion past the tears.

Fine. He could do that. Finally something he had control over. He reached for her hand, covering it with his own. She was cold. “You want a promise. I’ll make you a promise. We’re going to get married, Hope. Do you want to go to Vegas tonight? Or we can file for a license and have a big party.”

Hope dragged her hand out of his, a look of horror dawning on her face. “I can’t marry you. Oh, god, James, you don’t even know me.”

His head was reeling. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“James!” Serena tottered on her ridiculously high heels as she pushed past Noah on the lawn. “James, I came all the way out here to bring you a surprise.”

Hope sighed. “It’s not a surprise, Serena. Your coat’s open. Everyone can see your boobs.”

It was said without a hint of venom. Hope seemed to just be pointing out a fact of life, but Serena’s face went up in flames, and she turned her attention to Hope as she retied her coat.

“I didn’t look, baby.” James didn’t even want to. Serena was a lovely woman, and he had nothing at all against her, but Hope was it for him. He wouldn’t look at the Serenas of the world ever again.

Serena’s eyes narrowed on Hope. “What are you doing here? God, Hope, you’re so deeply pathetic. You couldn’t get Logan. Wolf wouldn’t look twice at you. So now you’re going after James. Again.”

Okay. Now he had something against Serena. He wasn’t about to let anyone talk to his woman that way. He stepped close to Hope, but she held out a hand.

“Don’t even bother, James. I can handle this.” She leaned against the porch rail. “Logan was my friend, Serena. I know it shocks you that I could have a male who’s just a friend because a woman like you needs to believe every man in the world wants to sleep with her. I love Logan because of the man he is and not because he has a dick that I can control him with. As for Wolf Meyer, he’s a friend, too. I knew he was going to leave soon. I don’t start short-term relationships with men who won’t stick around. And I sure as hell don’t show up naked at a man’s home in the desperate hope that I might keep him. Go away, Serena. He’s not going to get serious with you. And the truth is, you don’t really want him to.”

“How the fuck do you know what I want?” Serena fairly vibrated with rage.

James had wanted to save Hope, but it looked like she was going to save him.

“Take a deep whiff, Serena. Give it a minute for the wind to pick up.” Hope breathed deeply. “There it is.”

James nearly laughed out loud at the look of horror that crossed Serena’s face.

“What is that?” Serena asked, gagging a little.

“That would be animal feces.” Hope didn’t even hold her nose.

“Sorry, the herd is close in today,” Trev explained in his deep, Texas accent. “Doc here is going to check them all out tomorrow.”

“I am?” Noah asked.

“Yep,” Trev replied.

At least someone was properly handling Noah.

Hope gestured at the pasture in the distance. “This is ranch life, Serena. You look around here and see wealth, but the truth of the matter is everything is going back into the business. All of James’s money is tied up in the land. He’s not going to take you on fabulous vacations. Do you know what a great vacation is for a rancher? Heading to another ranch to check out bulls. So as James’s beloved wife, you’re going to get to watch a whole lot of bulls performing. Sexy.”

“Are you ready to run a house?” Noah asked Serena. “Because our momma worked hard every day to keep this place up.”

“He doesn’t have a housekeeper?” Serena asked, her eyes uncertain for the first time.

“He barely has ranch hands. Some asshole took the cash he needed and left him to deal with everything alone, so all he can offer you is really hard work.” Noah stared at James while he explained ranch life. “It’s why he didn’t go after the woman he wanted all this time. It’s why he stayed away from Hope. He didn’t have anything to offer her.”

“Uhm, I can offer really hot sex.” James felt a little hot under the collar listening to Hope and Noah explain how crappy his life was. It was all true, but it sounded deeply pathetic. “And I have some money now. And I was planning a trip to Montana. Hope, it’s beautiful up there.”

“The purpose of this trip?” Hope asked.

Damn it. “I have to go look at a bull.”

Hope whipped her finger in the air. “See, cow porn. Woo-hoo.”

He felt himself blush. “Well, there was going to be more to it. Trust me, there will be a lot of human porn going on, too.”

Yeah, that was romantic.

“Montana? You were going to take me to Montana?” Serena sounded deeply offended.

James sighed. “No. I wasn’t going to take you anywhere. I’m taking my fiancée.”

Noah’s mouth dropped open. “You asked Hope to marry you?”

“Not really. He kind of told me, and then his ex showed up wearing a trench coat and a smile.” Hope’s lower lip sort of pouted out.

Yep. He was in trouble. He always screwed up the romantic stuff. Noah was better at it. “We are getting married.”

“And apparently we’re going to spend our honeymoon measuring bull penises.” She turned back to Serena. “You should run as fast as those heels will take you.”

Henry frowned at the whole group. “I think I’m going to talk to Stef about bringing in a therapist. Maybe we could get a group rate.”

“You’re not marrying Hope,” Noah shouted.

“I am, too.” James squared off with his brother.

“I think I had this dream already,” Hope muttered under her breath. She stopped and walked down the steps toward Serena, who now clutched at her trench coat. “Serena, did you leave a flower on James’s truck earlier today?”

She was back on that? James thought they had cleared that up. “I told you it was Serena. But I doubt now that you and Noah have explained to her what a crap-ass catch I am that she’s going to be leaving me any more flowers. She gets it. Hope is the only woman in the world who wants to put up with my shit.”

Serena ignored him for once. She shook her head. “No. I didn’t leave anything for him. I was at rehearsal earlier today. I’ll be honest, I only pulled this dumb stunt because I heard a rumor that he was hanging around you. I kind of thought he was loaded. Now that I know the truth, uhm, you can have him. I mean he’s hot and all but he talks way too much about cows and feed and stuff.”

Would his humiliation never end? “Well, you talked about stuff I didn’t know anything about either.”

“James,” Serena protested. “I talked about the news and art.”

Bingo. City talk.

“Hope, are you all right?” Henry moved forward. “Do I need to call Doc again?”

“No. I’m fine, but I need to leave. Henry, will you give me a ride out to Nate’s place?” She didn’t look at James.

Noah walked straight up to her and took her hand, feeling her pulse. “You’re anxious. You need to sit down and you need to talk. Henry said a man was in town asking questions about you.”

“What the hell?” James forgot about Serena. He stared at his brother. “Why didn’t anyone tell me?”

“You were busy,” Noah shot back. “You were too busy screwing her to take care of her.”

James’s blood was pounding through his system. “Someone should have come to get me. I’m her man. I’m the one who’s marrying her.”

“You’re not marrying her,” Noah insisted.

Hope turned away from both of them. “I’m not marrying anyone. I’m leaving.”

Noah nodded as though making a decision. “I’ll take you, darlin’. I’ll grab my stuff, and we can get out of here.”

She shook her head. “No. I am not going anywhere with either one of you. I will not be the toy you two fight over one minute more.”

“I told you I want to marry you, Hope.” James couldn’t let her walk away. He really couldn’t let her walk away with Noah. He would lose his woman and his brother because Hope wouldn’t fuck it all up. She would be a good wife, and Noah would be gone.

He would lose everything.

Hope wouldn’t look at him. “It doesn’t matter now, James. In a couple of hours, you’ll be very happy I left.”

“Why don’t we move this into the house?” Trev said, his face closing off. “We’re not alone out here, and I think Hope needs to talk.”

“I do not need to talk, Trev,” Hope insisted.

Trev took a step forward, his mouth a grim line. “Oh, I think you do. Do you understand what you’re risking? Tell me you don’t want it right now. I see the way your hands are shaking. If you need me to, I’ll take you into Alamosa. There’s a meeting at five o’clock. We can make most of it.”

Serena looked around at the group. “These people are all crazy. Damn, Hope, just come with me. We can go back to my place in Creede. I think we both need a good long drink.”

“That is the last fucking thing she needs,” Trev said, his voice harsh.

It was all out of control. Hope looked pale and fragile. What had happened to put that look on her face? And why was Trev McNamara, the poster boy for drug rehab, talking like he was Hope’s sponsor? The only meetings Trev went to in Alamosa were AA meetings. Hope? An addict?

Was that what she was covering up?

He was going about this all wrong. He was letting Noah get him riled up when he needed to be focused on Hope.

He took her hand and pulled her into his arms, something inside him relaxing when she laid her head on his chest. “Baby, if you need to go to some meeting, I’ll take you. I’ll take you into Alamosa, and I’ll come in with you or I’ll wait outside. It’s going to be okay. Noah can come with us if you want.”

If she was this close to the edge, he damn sure wasn’t going to put more pressure on her.

“I want to go to Nate’s. I want to see Nate.” Even as she insisted, her arms wound around him.

Nate Wright. What the hell did she have going on with Nathan Wright, and why did the sheriff know more about Hope than her own lover? Jealousy burned in his gut. He’d watched Noah make love to Hope and he’d been irritated, but Nate Wright knowing her secret pissed him off.

“Why do you need to talk to Wright?” Noah’s voice was a hard growl. He must be feeling the same brutal jealousy.

“It looks like the sheriff’s already on his way.” Henry pointed to the long drive that led from the highway to the house.

Sure enough, there was the Bronco charging up the drive, dust flying behind its wheels. The lights weren’t on, but there was zero doubt that whoever was driving was in a hurry.

Hope shrank back, coming out of his arms.

Cameron Briggs, the acting sheriff of Bliss County, got out of the car, his face set in deep lines. This wasn’t the Cam that James drank with on occasion. This Cam was a lawman, and he’d come to do a job.

A deep fear settled in James’s heart. Something very bad was about to happen. He stepped in front of Hope only to find his brother was already standing there. They formed a phalanx, attempting to hide Hope.

Cam wasn’t fooled. “Hope, I need you to come to the station with me.”

“She’s not going anywhere.” James said the words before he thought them.

“What’s going on?” Noah asked.

Cam stared through them as though he could see Hope. “I need you to come with me, Hope. Your husband is here.”

James felt the world tilt out of place.

Husband.

“All right.” Hope stepped around them. “I’d like to talk to Nate before I go in.”

Cam nodded. “You can talk to Nate on the radio in the car, but Hope, this man who claims to be your husband has some mighty nasty accusations against you. And he has the paperwork to back it up. If you want to head out, I could always say I couldn’t find you.”

James still couldn’t get that one word out of his brain. The only woman he’d ever loved was married to another man. His head was reeling. His stomach felt sick. Hope was married. She hadn’t argued with the accusation. She’d just asked to talk to Nate.

“She’s not going anywhere.” Noah reached for her, but she moved toward Cam.

“I am. I have to know if it’s really him. I have to see it. Good-bye.” Hope turned toward the Bronco.

“Good-bye? All you can say is good-bye?” Noah practically screamed at her. He slapped James across the chest. “Are you going to let her walk out?”

He wasn’t sure of anything anymore. He took a step back, his feet stumbling. Hope had lied. Hope was married. She belonged to another man.

He watched as the Bronco took her away toward her husband and wondered if he would ever feel whole again.