Pure Bliss

Chapter Eight

Hope stared at the menu, but her mind was somewhere else. Back in Georgia. She could smell gardenias, and it was starting to upset her stomach.

How could that one flower ruin her whole day? She’d felt better than she had in weeks. She’d felt so close to James after seeing how talking about his dads had made him feel. When he’d put his arms around her, she’d seriously thought about whether something could work between them.

And Noah. Noah with his sad eyes and gorgeous face just called to her. If he’d handled Roger differently, she might have been able to keep her distance, but he’d been gentle and kind to the man. And he’d been kind to her.

So why did Christian have to invade her brain and ruin everything?

When she smelled gardenias, she could feel his soft hands on her. She could hear him telling her how sweet and pure she was. She could hear him apologize for what he had to do, but it was a husband’s duty, after all.

Christian had been very gentle when he’d had sex with her—the few times he’d done it. She’d been a virgin and completely ignorant, but she’d known something was wrong. She’d just thought her love could conquer all.

She’d been an idiot.

“Do you know what you want, hon?” Stella asked, her eyes looking down from under a very gaudy pair of rhinestone colored glasses. Stella must have seen some question in her eyes. “Sebastian made me get glasses. That old man is going to drive me crazy. He’s on me like honey on a bear, I tell you.”

“He’s making up for lost time, Miss Stella,” James said, handing her his menu. “You know that man loves you. And the glasses make you look very intellectual.”

Stella beamed. “I think they do, too. Maybe the men of this town will see me as more than just a beauty queen now. Hope?”

If she didn’t eat, her two self-appointed keepers were going to throw a hissy fit. “I’ll have the soup and salad. Thank you.”

“I would like a burger, medium with all the fixings, please. And some fries. Definitely fries.” Noah sighed as though he could already taste the burger.

Stella frowned his way. “I’d like to not have to drive fifty miles to get my cat vaccinated. I suppose we can’t all get what we want now, can we?”

James laughed, but Noah seemed to understand this was serious.

“I will make house calls, Miss Stella,” Noah offered, tripping over the words.

Stella humphed. “See that you do. She needs her yearly next week.” She turned on her boots and walked off.

“I have to admit, it is fun watching you trying to get out of the dog house. I think Stella was willing to feed Butch there before she fed you,” James needled his brother.

“This job gets harder and harder.” Noah’s frown was so adorable she wanted to kiss him right between his eyebrows.

And then she thought about that damn flower. Had it been Serena or someone else? Was she going crazy? She’d even wondered about Cade and Jesse. They had shown up in town right around the time she’d started to see signs of Christian. Christian always had a few attractive male followers. She hadn’t thought about it before, but now she could see that those men were most likely in on Christian’s criminal activities. The men who surrounded Christian were always strong and good at bringing in dumb, unsuspecting females. The new mechanics fit the bill. It would have been easy for one of them to slip out the door and leave the flower.

She shook her head. But how would they know? Christian was dead. If one of his followers wanted revenge on her, they wouldn’t do it by reminding her of the intimate moments of her marriage.

“Hope, you with us?” James asked.

She forced herself to focus. “Of course. I was just thinking about how we’re going to rehab Noah’s image without giving away his income for the next twenty years.”

Noah practically pouted. “I could run through town and let everyone throw shit at me.”

“Or you could take a booth at the festival and offer free vaccinations.” Hope warmed to the idea. “It would give everyone a chance to talk to you again in a professional way. Oh, and I can bake homemade dog treats.”

Noah shuddered. “You want me to work Woo Woo Fest? Damn, Hope, you drive a hard bargain.”

“I want you to work the Festival of Spiritual Renewal. And you know I’m right. We’ll print up some business cards, and Butch can be our mascot. I’ll help out.” She’d never worked with animals before. It sounded like fun. She’d lived in an apartment throughout her childhood, and her mother hadn’t wanted to pay a pet deposit. Christian hadn’t liked animals. He preferred a pristinely clean environment, and dog hair was on his “no” list.

There he was again.

“I’ll do it.” Noah gave in with a little frown. “But I draw the line at trying to psychically speak to dogs. I’ve been to Woo Woo Fest before, and some of those people think they can talk to their pets. One year a woman tried to convince me her dog was the reincarnated spirit of Marie Antoinette and that was why she had to be fed cake. That woman understood neither history nor the dietary requirements of a Maltese. I swear, Jamie, if I catch you laughing at me, we’re going to have a knock-down, drag-out.”

“Get ready then because I intend to laugh my ass off,” James promised.

They continued to talk, but she was lost in dark thoughts.

She could hear Christian telling her how fragile she was, how pure and innocent. She could smell the incense he would burn at his gatherings when he would talk about God and how man had been cut off from the divine by all his technology.

She’d been an idiot. Barely seventeen and she’d thought she’d understood everything. She’d joined Christian’s little commune because it seemed happy and safe, and Christian Grady had been the kindest, most spiritual man she’d ever met. She’d been over the moon when he’d looked her way. How could a man who was so smart, so beautiful and wise, ever want her?

She wanted a drink. It would be so easy to walk over to Trio and order a vodka and cranberry juice. No one knew she had a problem. She’d kept it hidden. Trev was the only person besides the Wright-Hollister clan who knew, and he was back at the ranch. Zane wasn’t working at Trio. He was at home with his babies. Alexei would be tending bar, and he would merely garble some English as he passed her whatever she wanted. She could get up and walk out of Stella’s, and Noah and James would probably follow her and join her. They wouldn’t question it. They would just enjoy the party. She could maybe have both of them if they had enough alcohol to overcome all the obstacles.

She could forget for a little while. The liquor would turn off the images and voices in her head.

She clenched her fists. She couldn’t even go to a meeting now. She didn’t have a car. Her sponsor was gone. She could call Trev, but that seemed like a very bad idea now. He was James’s partner. He was too close to her real life.

Real life? Hah. She didn’t have one. She had a bunch of crap she’d made up because she didn’t want all these nice people to know the real her.

“Hope, snap out of it.” Noah’s voice broke through her inner monologue. He was using that same deep voice he’d used when he’d found her crying on the side of the road.

“What?” She forced herself to focus on him.

Noah’s fingers drummed impatiently along the tabletop. “I’ve asked you the same question three times now.”

“I’m sorry. What did you ask?” How long had she been sitting here thinking about a drink?

“I no longer care about whether you’ve seen the movie that’s on at the motel. I now care about what’s bothering you. You didn’t even notice when Jamie got up and left the table.”

James was gone? She hadn’t even noticed when James had slid out of the booth. “Where did he go?”

“He caught sight of the preacher from the Feed Store Church. He wanted to ask him about how he can get organic alfalfa and just how many sermons he’s going to have to sit through to get a ten percent discount.” Noah leaned forward. “Now start talking, Hope.”

It was too much. The flower. Seeing someone who looked like Christian. The phone calls. It was too much. The walls were closing in on her.

“I’m still just a bit tired. Maybe I should go and see Caleb again.” Anything to get out from under Noah’s suspicious eyes. She could already feel her skin flush with heat. She would start to sweat soon. Her heart rate was speeding up as she felt the walls closing in. Anxiety attack. She hadn’t had one in almost a year, but it was creeping up on her now.

She couldn’t do this here. She couldn’t freak out. She needed to get someplace quiet where she could ride it out.

She stood up abruptly, her knees hitting the table with a painful thud. “I’ll be back.”

She wouldn’t. She would find someplace else to stay. She couldn’t handle them. She could stay with Lucy. Lucy wouldn’t ask too many questions. Lucy would just be happy for the company. Lucy wouldn’t push and probe and try to figure her out. She wouldn’t watch her every minute of the day. Yes, she would call Lucy.

Hope pushed out of the doors of Stella’s and walked past Butch, who was sitting on the sidewalk waiting patiently for his master. Tears blurred her eyes. She liked the dog. She liked his master. She’d loved the way it had felt to sleep between Noah and James, but she couldn’t do it again. She’d felt safe, and she wasn’t. She wasn’t safe because she didn’t deserve safety. Not after the things she’d done.

Without really thinking about where she was going, she found the stairs that led to her small efficiency. She pulled her keys out of her purse, ignoring the smell of smoke. It wasn’t that bad, she decided. Maybe she could just stay here. It wasn’t much. The furniture had been here when she’d moved in. Jennifer Waters had left everything behind, including the dishes and cookware, when she’d left for Dallas. When she’d returned to Bliss, she’d married Stefan Talbot and had no interest in her former apartment.

All she really had were her clothes, some books, and a framed picture of her and Nate and Logan taken a year before.

She had nothing. She was twenty-seven years old, and she had nothing. And she never would.

“Hope.”

She should have locked the door. Noah stood in the doorway, his big body blocking out the sun. “Go away, Noah.”

“That is not going to happen. You’re going to talk, and you’re going to do it now.”

“I am not talking to you. I want to be alone.” Tears coursed down her face, but she was filled with anger. At herself. At Christian. At Noah for standing there and looking so perfect.

His jaw squared, and he walked into her tiny room. “I’m not going to do that, Hope. I’m done playing around. You can hate me later, but you’re coming with me now. We’re going to walk back downstairs and pick up our lunch, and then you and me and Jamie are all going back to the ranch. You’re not leaving the house again until you explain to us what’s wrong.”

“You can’t force me to go with you.”

“Sure, I can. I’m bigger and stronger and quite frankly, I think I’m meaner than you.”

“I’ll call the sheriff.”

“I’m sure you will if you can get to a phone. I think you might find that hard to do after I tie you up.”

“You think you can kidnap me and make me talk? What if there isn’t anything to talk about, Noah? What if I just don’t like you? What if I just don’t want to be around you?”

She’d struck a direct hit. She could see that plainly in the way his eyes flared. He wasn’t as confident as he seemed, but he simply crossed his arms over his chest and continued. “I don’t think so. You might not like me, but I sure as hell feel something for you. And I know you’re in trouble. So yes, I will do whatever it takes to get through all this stubborn crap and make sure you’re safe. If I end up in jail, then at least I’ll know I did what I had to do.”

“Get out of my house.”

He looked around. “This isn’t much of a house. It’s more of a hole in the wall that it looks like you’re hiding in. And it reeks of smoke. You can’t stay here.”

He wasn’t going to let it go. He wasn’t going to leave her alone. How did she get him to drop it? “So you’re going to fix me? You? You can’t fix yourself, Noah. Everyone in this town hates you. You’re the last person who can help me.”

It was horrible, and she wanted to call back the words the minute they left her mouth. Had she really sunk this low that she’d become cruel to the people who tried to help her? At least when she was drinking she was just horrible to herself. She was just about to ask for forgiveness when he moved into her space. She was forced to look up, and there wasn’t a bit of forgiveness in his eyes. His lips were turned up in a cruel little smirk that was so far from his normal sweet grin that Hope wondered if she hadn’t truly woken a beast inside Noah Bennett.

“Is that what I am? The most hated man in Bliss County? Well, then I guess it won’t matter than that one more person hates me.” He practically spat the words from his mouth, and he gripped her shoulders. “You know, Hope, I lived for years with a woman who really knew how to cut me down to size. You’ve got nothing on her. Why don’t you tell me how useless I am? How bad I am in bed? How perverse I am? Do you want to know why I’m perverted in my ex-wife’s eyes? Let me tell you. I made the mistake of telling her some of my fantasies because I thought it could save our marriage. I told her I wanted to tie her up and spank her ass. I wanted to bend her to my will in the bedroom. I wanted to fuck her in some fairly kinky ways. You know something, Hope, I never wanted to do the things to her that I want to do to you. A little over twenty-four hours and I want to shove my cock up your ass while you’re trussed up like a sacrifice to my pleasure. So if you want to hurt me, you tell me how pathetic I am for wanting those things. That’s what will get to me. Don’t give me some crap about how everyone hates me. They couldn’t hate me any more than I hate myself.”

“I’m sorry.” She whispered the words because she couldn’t speak them out loud. She really saw into Noah Bennett, and she understood him. He might not have earned his self-loathing the way she had, but it was there, mirroring her own. He didn’t deserve it.

“Goddamn it, girl, don’t you cry. Don’t you cry.” His hands moved from her shoulders to her face, cupping her cheeks and turning her chin up. “Don’t cry, Hope.”

He leaned in and brushed his lips to hers, and it was like a wildfire went through Hope. This was what she needed. She needed him. She needed to lose herself in Noah. She went on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around him. She touched her tongue to those plump, sensual lips of his, and he went wild.

His fingers moved up, tangling in her hair, holding her still as he pillaged her mouth. His tongue surged in, dominating her own. She softened, ceding control. How long had she wanted this? A man who could take control. A man with whom she could relax and let him pleasure her, show her how to pleasure him. She’d found plenty of men who would take from her, but none who would give back. She thought it would be different with this man.

She rode the wave, holding on to Noah as he pushed her against the wall, pinning her there with his body. She was caught between the wall and his solid chest as he kissed her until she was breathless.

“I want to do nasty things to you, Hope. I really meant it. You should run from me.”

But she was deeply interested in all those nasty things he wanted to do. “I’m not running, Noah.”

She might later, but she needed him now. Now, all the dark thoughts were replaced with desire. She wanted to get to her knees and take him in her mouth. She wanted his hands in her hair, pulling as he worked his cock in and out of her pussy. She wanted him to lube up her ass and make her feel the burn.

She would be his for a while. She would belong if only for a few moments.

“Take off that shirt, Hope. I want to see your breasts.”

He kept close, giving her very little room. He stared down at her, his eyes warm again, that terrible darkness banished. She was nervous, but Noah needed this, too. His ex-wife had obviously done a number on him, making him feel like a freak. But she wanted what he could give her. She craved it.

With shaking hands, she undid the top button on her shirt. It was bulky and cheap, but it didn’t matter. He didn’t care about the shirt. He wanted to see what was under it. That was what she was really nervous about. She’d put on a few pounds. She wasn’t seventeen anymore.

“Stop it. Stop questioning yourself and show me your breasts.”

She picked up the pace, the dark command in his voice breaking through her self-consciousness. She let the shirt hang open and unhooked the front clasp of her bra before she could think twice about it. Her nipples peaked in the slightly chilly air. Her breasts were heavy, but those nipples perked up as though wanting Noah’s attention.

He hissed slightly, and his hands covered her breasts. “Fuck, you’re beautiful, Hope.”

He dropped to his knees, and she could feel the roughness of his five o’clock shadow on her skin. It gave her an edgy, restless feeling. She let her hands drift up to the silky darkness of Noah’s hair. His tongue flicked out, teasing at her nipple.

She whimpered a little and tried to get him to take more.

He pulled her hands into his own, gripping them on just the right side of pain. “You don’t control this, Hope. I meant what I said. I’m going to be in control of this. If you can’t handle it, all you have to do is tell me to stop. You say no and this ends.”

She didn’t want that. Not when she was so close to maybe getting what she needed. “Please, Noah.”

“I’ll tie you up if I have to,” he swore before leaning forward again and sucking a nipple into his mouth.

Fire shot straight from her nipple to her pussy. She forced her hands to stay at her sides. Noah’s arm circled her waist, pulling her into the heat of his mouth. He sucked and bit at her nipple, making her squirm and moan until he released the first and moved to the second. His teeth grazed her.

“Fuck all, Hope, you’re a sub.”

She’d rather suspected it. When Jen Talbot talked about some of the things Stef did to her, it always made Hope restless. Jen would talk to Rachel and Callie, making them laugh, but it seemed serious to Hope. Discipline didn’t seem like a thing to joke about. It seemed like a way to get what she needed.

“I can smell what this is doing to you. It’s so fucking hot.” His hands ran down her legs and up her skirt, skimming along her skin until he got to her panties. “But these have to go. You’re not to wear them. I don’t like them. Do you understand me?”

Noah didn’t like panties. She could do that. “Commando it is then.” She remembered what Jen had said some subs liked to call their dominant lovers. “Sir.”

Noah groaned. “You have no idea what that does to me.”

He dragged her cotton whites off her hips and down her legs. When he’d pulled them free, he put them right to his nose and breathed deep. “You smell so good.”

She knew she should think a man smelling her panties was a bad thing, but it really turned her on. The idea of Noah putting his nose to her pussy was even better.

He shoved the white bikinis into his pocket and went right back to her nipples, lashing them with his tongue and teeth as his fingers teased their way back up her thighs.

“You spread your legs for me,” he ordered, lips moving against the flesh of her breast.

She widened her stance, leaning against the wall for support.

“That’s what I want.” Noah’s fingertips brushed her pussy.

Hope dragged oxygen in as he opened her labia and pressed a single digit to her opening. She could feel the muscles of her pussy quivering in anticipation. She hadn’t even used a vibrator in years. She hadn’t had a man touch her in more than eighteen months, but she already knew this experience would be utterly different. She wouldn’t have alcohol to dull her. She was only drunk on the experience of having Noah dominate her.

But she could easily become addicted.

“You’re tight, darlin’. So tight. You’re going to squeeze the hell out of my cock.” He turned his face toward her. He was a work of art with a square jaw and a perfectly masculine brow. He could be on the cover of a magazine, but he was talking about fucking her. He was talking about shoving his cock inside and riding. “It’s going to be good between us, Hope. I’m going to make it good.”

It sounded like a vow.

Noah’s thumb brushed her clit, and Hope had to bite her lip to keep from begging.

“You like that. Tell me what you like, Hope. Tell me what you want. I need to hear it.”

He growled the words at her, his finger working its way deep in her cunt. She tightened her muscles around it, trying to keep him inside, but he fucked in and out with that one finger.

“I want you, Noah.” She’d wanted him from practically the moment she’d seen him, the attraction instant. It had only grown as she had heard his story and gotten to know the man. She really liked him. She liked how kind he was to his dog and how much he wanted to make things right with his brother and the town. He wasn’t sure how to do it, but she rather liked that, too. He needed her, and that felt heavenly.

“What part of me do you want?” His finger pressed up and pulled back, his thumb barely caressing her clit. It wasn’t enough. Not nearly enough. Something was building, something lovely and amazing and elusive with just that one finger inside her. More. She needed more.

“I want your cock, Sir.” She wanted him filling her up. She was so empty with only that little finger inside her. She needed more.

“You want cock? I can give it to you.” He stood up abruptly.

“I want your cock.” He needed to understand that. She only wanted his cock and James’s. She wanted James. God, what would James think? She forced that thought from her mind because Noah looked down at her with wonder on his face.

“You won’t regret it, darlin’. You won’t fucking regret it.” He kissed her again though he’d lost some measure of his control. It didn’t matter. She was out of control, too. For the first time in her life, she wasn’t thinking about anything but where this feeling went. She had to know. She’d been frustrated for years seeking this magical connection, and it was close. So fucking close.

Noah pressed her against the wall. He ground his cock against her pussy. He felt so big, so hard. He rubbed against her, and she felt the first stirrings of something amazing. She nearly screamed in frustration, but she was far too busy watching as Noah opened the fly of his jeans. He shoved the denims down, fishing his wallet out of his pocket. He tossed the wallet aside but came up with a condom.

“What can I say? I’m optimistic. No, I’m really not, but you seem to bring out the best in me.” He shoved down his boxers, and his cock bounced free.

Big, with a bulbous head, Noah’s cock was gorgeous. Perfectly formed and thick, there was a small drop of pre-cum on the head. She wanted to suck it off, but Noah tore open the condom and started to roll it over his cock. She couldn’t breathe, but it didn’t matter. It was all deliciously out of control, and she liked it that way. Noah pulled at her skirt, and she found herself pinned to the wall.

“You hold on to me.” Noah reached between them and fitted the head of that glorious cock to her pussy. “Wrap your legs around me.”

She did as he asked, leaving the safety of balancing herself and relying on Noah. She was caught between Noah’s hard body and the wall as he started to thrust up.

“That’s what I want, darlin’. Wrap yourself around me. You feel so tight, so fucking good.”

He felt good. His cock stretched her, inching in as Noah pressed up. The stretch burned, but it was so, so good. It was connection and need. It was everything she’d been missing. She wrapped her legs around his waist and held on for dear life. Noah took his time. His hands were firmly on her ass, guiding his cock in a controlled fashion. She could see the way he gritted his teeth as he took care of her.

But she wanted that burn. She wanted that bite of pain. “Fuck me, Sir. Fuck me hard.”

“Your wish,” Noah growled. He pulled down on her hips and shoved his cock up.

She whimpered at the hard stretch that took over her pussy. It burned as Noah’s cock filled her, pushing in all the way until she could feel his balls against the cheeks of her ass. Noah groaned as he leaned in and kissed her.

“It feels so good,” Hope whispered against his lips. She moved her hands back to his hair. “Fuck me, Sir.”

“I’m going to spank your ass red for topping from the bottom. And don’t think I won’t find out what’s going on, but for now, you win.” He pulled out almost to the tip and then fucked in again.

Hope tightened her arms around him. She was a mess. Her shirt was hanging off her arms. Her panties were in the pocket of Noah’s jeans. Her skirt was jacked up around her waist. She was sure she had mascara running down her face, and her hair was crazy. And none of it mattered because Noah was fucking her. He ground his pelvis against hers and shoved his cock deep inside. Over and over he fucked into her, bringing her closer to the edge. He pressed up as he ground on her clit, and Hope slipped over. The orgasm was a little earthquake that started in her pussy and ricocheted outward, lighting up every inch of her skin from the inside out.

He pumped into her, his beautiful face tight with desire. His teeth were clenched as he raised her up with his arms and then let her fall back, impaled on the hot length of his dick. He hit a magic place inside her, and she screamed, the orgasm doubling.

Noah groaned as he held on to her hips and ground himself against her. He buried his face in the crook of her shoulder as he forced every ounce of cum out.

He held her up. She’d never felt so connected, so happy and satisfied. She could feel the blood thrumming through her system as she draped her body around Noah’s, trusting him to keep her up. She loved how his heart beat against her chest, and she could feel his breath on her neck. She inhaled his masculine scent.

“Thank you.” Noah’s voice was ragged. He clutched at her like he would never let her go.

“Thank you, Sir,” she whispered. She could go back to calling him Noah later, but here she would give him exactly what he needed. She felt him smile against her shoulder.

“Well, I guess I’m not fucking needed here.”

Hope’s feet hit the ground. She barely missed falling on her ass as Noah turned suddenly. She was breathless but not with desire this time.

James stood in the doorway that they hadn’t even bothered to close, Butch at his side. She just fucked Noah. Oh, god, she hadn’t even thought about James.

Noah pulled his pants up with an awkward tug. “Hey, brother, I just came up here to talk to her.”

“I can see you did a lot of talking.”

James didn’t move, didn’t turn his head to spare her. He just stared right at her, a frown on his face. Judgment in those gloriously blue eyes of his. Butch seemed to stare at her, too.

With shaking hands, she started to button up her shirt.

“Look, Jamie, I’m sorry it happened this way, but it was inevitable. I’ve wanted her since the moment I saw her,” Noah began, his voice shaking a little.

“Yeah, and we all know that you just go after what you want with absolutely no thought to anyone else. You’ve been that way since you were a kid.”

“Jamie, I want to talk about this.” Noah ran a hand through his hair.

She’d made things so much worse between the two of them. Noah had made some progress earlier, and now she’d screwed everything up because she hadn’t thought at all. She had no real illusions that James wanted her, per se. He was mad at Noah. Noah wanted her, so James wanted her, too. She wasn’t going to stand here and believe for a second that James Glen was jealous. He simply wanted to punish his brother, and she was the tool.

“I think you both should leave.” Her heart ached. She’d loved being with them. She had no real idea where she was going to go. Lucy’s, perhaps. It had seemed like a good idea before, but now she just wanted to be alone. She screwed things up so often that maybe it was better for her to be alone. She was right to hold herself apart. She could be kind to people, but not really close to them. She was poison. “I’ll have someone drive me out tomorrow so I can get my things.”

She mentally counted money. She might have enough for a bus ticket.

Noah turned, his brows drawn together. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“I think you two should talk without me around. I’m just going to mess this up. You’re brothers. You need to talk.”

James stalked in the room. “I’m not talking to him, but I am going to lay down a few rules for you. You are going to go to the bathroom and clean yourself up. If this place still has running water. What the hell happened in here?”

“There was a fire in Stella’s kitchen. The smoke came up here. It’s really just a bad smell. I can stay here.”

“You’re not staying here.” Noah tucked his shirt in.

“Shut the fuck up, Noah.” James snarled his brother’s way before turning back to her. “I wasn’t finished with the rules. You’re going to clean up, and then you’re going to get in the truck. I have work to do. I talked to Nell while the two of you were fucking. She needs you this afternoon. I made her promise she won’t overwork you. I’m going to drop you off at the fairgrounds, and I’ll pick you up at two. If you give me any more hell, I’ll put you over my knee right now.”

“Any more hell?” His tone was starting to push past her guilt. “When have I caused you hell?”

Those lips of his turned slightly cruel. “Every second of every day since I met you. I’ve thought about you every minute.”

Bullshit. “You could have had me any time you wanted me, James. You didn’t give me a second glance until Noah wanted me. You’re like a child who doesn’t want a toy until his brother has it. Did you fight over all your girlfriends?”

He slapped the wall behind her. “And that just proves that you don’t know me at all. Until the day my brother walked away, I shared everything with him. I had rarely slept with a woman without my brother because in my family that was the way it was. Brothers shared because that’s how we made a family. Ranching is rough. It’s rough on a woman. I never wanted my wife to be lonely, and that’s damn straight what she would be if she married me. And I would be lonely because all my life I didn’t have someone to rely on. Don’t you dare tell me I’m a spoiled brat who can’t share. You just fucked the brat, baby. He walked away. He chose to leave me and our family over a woman. And then walks right back into town and takes the only one I really care about.”

She wanted to reach out to him. He sounded like he meant what he said. “James, I don’t understand. I asked you out. Do you know how hard that was for me?”

He reached out, and his fingers touched the buttons of her shirt. She had buttoned up so quickly she’d missed one. She stood there while he corrected the problem with a tender twist of his hand.

“I didn’t date you because I didn’t date,” James explained, his eyes pinning her. “I didn’t have anything to offer you until Trev brought some money back into the ranch. I only had work and pain to offer anyone, so I kept my relationships physical. If I had known you only wanted a good throw down every now and then, well, I would have stayed away from you because I wanted more. It doesn’t matter now. You’re my responsibility no matter what mistakes you make or what terrible taste in men you have. I take care of my responsibilities. I don’t walk away from them because they become difficult. Now, do as I told you, or I will spank you. I’ll be waiting in the truck.”

He turned and walked away.

Noah looked ashen.

She felt a little sick. What had she done? It seemed she was always doing the wrong thing, and it cost everyone around her. “Noah, you should go talk to him.”

“He won’t listen. He won’t…Damn it, Hope, go and get cleaned up. Do what Jamie told you to do.”

She felt her eyes go wide and her gut churn. “What?”

Noah’s stance hardened. “Jamie gave you an order. Do you expect me to go against him? Do you think you can play the two of us off each other? I can be indulgent, but this isn’t going to work if you put us at each other’s throats.”

“Have you gone insane?” Hope asked, her voice shrill even to her own ears. “Noah, you need to see what’s going on here. He’s mad at you. He’s just using me to get to you. I get that what happened here doesn’t really mean anything. I do. I am not an idiot. Your loyalty is and should be to your brother, not some chick you banged. So just go. He can’t make me do what he wants.”

He grabbed her wrist and pulled her along, sitting down on the couch and pulling her over his lap. Before she could really think twice, he shoved her skirt up, the cool air hitting her skin. She was shocked to find herself staring at her floor. She turned her head slightly. James hadn’t bothered to close the door. It was still standing open. She was damn happy that she lived on the second story or she would have probably had an audience. She opened her mouth to protest, and the flat of his hand smacked her ass.

He’d spanked her. It hurt, but it also did something for her. God, she was such a freak. She wasn’t about to let him know she was affected by him.

“Are you done?” She was pleased with how even her voice was when all she wanted to do was ask him to try again.

“Not even close. Jamie’s right. You need rules. You are not to talk about yourself that way again.” His hand smacked against her other cheek. He wasn’t playing. Hope groaned at the sharp, stinging pain.

Noah continued. “You’re not some chick I banged. You’re Hope. You’re my girl. Maybe sex is some easy exchange of bodily fluids for you, but it isn’t that way for me. You’re the only woman I’ve slept with in years. I do not take what happened lightly.” Another smack, this one to the center of her ass.

Hope whimpered but didn’t complain. The pain bit into her flesh, but his words were a balm.

Two more righteous slaps. “And I am not willing to give up. Jamie might be pissed, but if we play this right, he’ll also be in. He can be mad as hell at me and still want you. I want you. He wants you. You can bring us all together. You’re the piece of the puzzle that’s been missing.”

He spanked her until she’d counted ten slaps, every one a hot reminder that he wasn’t going to allow her to go anywhere. He wasn’t going to let her disappear.

He finally stood, picking her up and setting her on her feet. His face was flushed, and she could see through his jeans that he was hard again. “Now go and do what you were told.”

She turned toward her bathroom, her hands shaking but not with anxiety this time. With a little bit of wonder. Noah was showing her a whole world she’d only dreamt of. “I won’t let you bully me.”

She felt the need to put in some rules of her own.

“I’m sure you’ll let me know when I cross the line.”

She closed the bathroom door with a quiet snick and took a deep breath.

She wasn’t going anywhere.