Pure Indulgence

Chapter 11

Kayla was so immersed in her baking and her misery that she didn't hear Jillian enter her house until her sister was standing in her kitchen. Kayla turned from pulling a sheet of sticky pecan rolls from the oven and nearly dropped the pan on the floor in surprise.

"Damn it, Jillian," she grumbled as she slid the pan onto a cooling rack she'd set up on the table. At this point, it was just about the only vacant space left in her entire kitchen, which was currently filled with an abundance of cakes, pies, and other desserts. "Could you at least let me know you're here before you barge in and scare the living daylights out of me?"

"Hello to you, too," Jillian greeted her, unfazed by her grouchy mood. "And for your information, I knocked twice before letting myself into the house. Considering your employees told me that you haven't been to the shop in two days, and I haven't heard from you either, I thought I'd check up on you."

Kayla shoved a pound cake into the oven to bake and tossed her oven mitts on the counter. "I'm fine."

"Okay," Jillian said in a placating tone as she strolled through the kitchen and eyed the various sweets lining the countertops. "What's with all this?" The wave of her sister's hand encompassed the array of treats.

Kayla stirred the ingredients for a carrot cake, beating the batter longer and harder than necessary. "I'm working at home."

"You haven't baked at home like this since before you opened Pure Indulgence," Jillian commented thoughtfully. She picked up an Almond Joy Cookie and took a bite of the chewy chocolate and coconut confection. "In fact, the last time I remember your kitchen being an explosion of desserts was when I came home from New York for a visit after things ended between you and Doug."

Kayla winced at her sister's too-intuitive speculation. Baking was not only Kayla's livelihood, but she'd discovered long ago that it was also therapeutic when she needed to release stress, tension, or anger. In this case, though, she was baking up a storm to keep her mind off Jack and to keep her emotional grief at bay.

So far, her therapy wasn't working worth a damn.

"So, are you going to tell me what's going on, or am I going to have to tickle it out of you?" Jillian waggled her fingers at Kayla threateningly.

Despite her heartache, Kayla laughed at her sister's attempt at intimidation-another childhood antic they'd made up as kids when they wanted to extract important information from one another. Jillian was a ruthless tickler and always managed to persuade Kayla to spill her guts.

She inhaled a deep breath, and let it out slowly. "Jack and I… well, it's over."

"Over?" her sister echoed, her expression almost as devastated as Kayla felt deep inside. "What do you mean, over?"

"Not our business relationship," she explained, just in case Jillian thought that's what she meant. "Our affair."

Jillian's gaze narrowed and she braced her hands on her slender hips, her entire demeanor going into protective mode, even though she was the younger of the two of them. "Maybe I ought to go and have a talk with Mr. Tremaine," she said haughtily. "No one hurts my sister and gets away with it-"

"Settle down, Jilly," Kayla said, knowing her sister wouldn't hesitate to confront Jack on her behalf. "It wasn't him. It was… me. I'm the one who let things end."

Jillian's shoulders slumped, and she reached for a brownie on a nearby plate. "But why?"

Kayla turned around and poured the carrot cake batter into a pan, unable to bring herself to explain the whole aphrodisiac candy situation to her sister and unwilling to end up sounding like a complete fool. "I guess Doug did a bigger number on my confidence than I realized."

"Doug was an idiot and you can't compare every man to him," Jillian said from behind her.

Jack had told her the same thing the night he'd come to her shop to taste the cheesecakes.

"I have to tell you," Jillian said went on, "if you let Jack go without a fight, then you're being the idiot."

Leave it to her sister to be blunt, Kayla thought as she scraped the last of the batter into the pan. But as each minute of each hour of each day passed by and a deeper loneliness settled within her, she was inclined to believe that she was very much an idiot for allowing Jack to walk out her door two mornings ago.

Except she was having a difficult time getting past the fears and insecurities that kept her and her aching heart in their relentless grip.

Unable to turn around and face her sister, she squeezed her eyes shut, summoned an extra boost of fortitude, and admitted, "I'm scared, Jilly. Scared to believe in something so good."

"I know," she said, a deep understanding in her tone. "But aren't you more afraid of losing such a great guy?"

Kayla's throat closed up with emotion, cutting off her ability to speak. But the words still came, filtering effortlessly through her mind. Yes, she was petrified of losing Jack, which was part of the problem, too. Going after Jack meant taking a big risk… the risk that he might eventually end things with her. The resulting heartache and overwhelming sense of rejection could devastate her.

Yet she was beginning to accept and understand that loving Jack meant taking that risk and trusting him enough to believe that he'd never intentionally hurt her that way.

"Oh my God, Kayla!" Jillian exclaimed appreciatively. "These candies are fabulous. What are they?"

Jolted back to the present, Kayla whirled around and found her sister eating the leftover Caramel Caresses that Kayla hadn't touched since Jack had left her house. Her first instinct was to snatch the box out of her sister's hands and berate her for helping herself to something she had no business eating.

Instead of freaking out over this interesting turn of events, Kayla watched her sister consume another piece of the candy and decided to gauge her reaction to the Caramel Caresses. "Those are part of the new line of candies I'm creating for Pure Indulgence."

"Wow, they're very yummy." Jillian examined another piece closer. "You know, the shape of the candies kind of reminds me of a woman's breast."

"They're meant to look that way, to add to the sensuality of the candy." Kayla washed her sticky hands and dried them on a terry towel, but kept her gaze on her sister, who popped that third candy into her mouth and was chewing blissfully. "Jillian… do you feel anything at all?"

"Feel anything, like what?" Jillian asked, clearly confused as to what Kayla was suggesting.

Kayla recalled all the sensations those aphrodisiac candies had induced in her when she'd eaten them. "Warm. Tingly. Maybe a little… turned on?"

A frown creased Jillian's brows. "Are you having a nervous breakdown?"

"No." Kayla bit her bottom lip, looking for some kind of external sign that her sister was affected by those candies, but found none. "So, you don't feel anything sexual at all?" she persisted, needing to know.

"Look, I don't know what's gotten into you, but you're crazy for thinking a piece of chocolate, or two or three, can send a person's hormones into a frenzy. If that were the case, half the world's population would be walking around, completely turned on all the time."

Realizing that her sister truly wasn't affected by her candies, Kayla experienced a mingled rush of disappointment and relief. Disappointment because her exciting idea to start a new line of aphrodisiac candies at Pure Indulgence wasn't going to happen and she'd have to rethink her strategy with those new confections, and a huge surge of relief because the truth had just set a part of her free.

Free to believe, free to trust, free to love.

And most importantly, free to be herself.

"Why are you asking me these questions, anyway?" Jillian asked as she licked off smudges of caramel from her fingers.

"Because I put an aphrodisiac into those candies, and I needed to know if you had any kind of reaction to them."

Jillian was shocked, but became even more so when Kayla went on to explain that she'd used Jack for her experiment, and that she'd believed that every time they'd made love had been because of those candies.

She'd even fooled herself into believing her own libido had been affected by the stimulant. But it had all been in her mind.

Now Kayla understood what she couldn't bring herself to face that last morning with Jack. She'd wanted so badly to arouse Jack's passion that she'd read more into his sexual advances, certain they stemmed from an aphrodisiac.

The power of suggestion had been strong, her will to believe in something so mystical even stronger because she'd always wanted a man to desire her as intently, as completely, as Jack had when he'd eaten those candies. But she'd never believed it possible.

Jillian grasped Kayla's hand, directing her attention back to her. "Kayla, Jack Tremaine is absolutely crazy about you," she said with a smile. "I saw the way he looked at you that night at the shop when I interrupted the two of you. The whole time I was talking to him he was watching you move around the kitchen. What he feels for you is the real thing."

Finally, Kayla knew that, too. But was she too late to make amends?

"I know that the way Mother treated you, and Doug, too, is a big reason why you find it so hard to believe that a man like Jack can accept all of you, but it can happen. Don't let those damn voices in your head prevent you from moving on with your life. I know you're afraid of putting your emotions out there in the open and facing the possibility of rejection, but some things are worth risking."

And Jack was definitely worth the risk, she knew. "When did you become so smart?" Kayla teased.

"Trust me, there are plenty of brains beneath this blond hair," she said with a sassy toss of her head. "And we've both been in relationships that have played hell on our confidence and self-esteem, so I understand how you feel. But despite being burned before, I do believe that there's someone out there for everyone. A soul mate who'll love us for who we are inside. And I'm thinking maybe you've found yours in Jack."

Jillian's words were so profound, so full of hope and determination that Kayla found herself believing in true love and happily-ever-afters-for herself and Jillian.

And as Kayla gazed at her sister, she realized that despite how slender and beautiful and sophisticated Jillian was, she was just as capable of being hurt, and she'd had her own insecurities to bear, just like any other woman. It just underlined that a person was a lot more than what they showed on the outside.

Which was what Jack had been trying to tell Kayla all along.

Her relationship with Jack had never been based on her weight or body image. That had been her hang-up, her insecurity. And Kayla supposed her decision about whether or not to let Jack into her life was based on a question that every woman, no matter what size or shape, had to ask herself at some point… was she willing to take a risk with her emotions and trust another person with her heart?

Kayla's answer came without hesitation. She was ready and willing to take whatever risks were necessary to have Jack in her life. Even if it meant baring herself to him-heart, body and soul.

Chin held high with every ounce of confidence she possessed, and her heart hammering wildly in her chest, Kayla knocked on the front door of Jack's house. A big, gorgeous, custom-made home that overlooked the ocean and was a testimony to all of Jack's hard work and resulting success over the past years.

She knew he was home, not only because of the Escalade parked in the circular drive, but because she'd gone to Tremaine's Downtown to look for him, only to be told he'd taken the night off. His friend and manager, Rich, had been kind enough to give her his home address, along with a promise that Jack would be thrilled to see her.

Except when Jack opened the door wearing nothing but a pair of navy-blue cotton sweatpants, he didn't look overjoyed to find her standing on his porch. Surprised, yes. Thrilled, no. He stared at her with an uncertainty that made her own chest tighten with a wealth of dread. Most prominent was the fear that he'd changed his mind about her.

Her confidence faltered, but her sister's convictions along with her own-which had replaced those other more destructive voices in her head-now helped her to stay strong. She refused to leave until she set the record straight with Jack about her feelings for him.

"Come on in," he said, and held the door open wider for her to enter.

She walked inside a large foyer, accepting his invitation as a very positive sign. She turned around to face him again and attempted to explain her presence.

"Rich gave me your address and directions-"

"I don't give a damn how you found my place," he said, his voice low and rough, his expression unreadable. "I'm just glad you're here."

Glad … but not thrilled. They were getting there, slowly but surely.

"Come on in," he said again. After shutting the front door, he led the way into a spacious living room.

"Make yourself comfortable," he said, gesturing toward the sofa and love seat. "Would you like something to drink?"

"No, thank you. I'm fine." He was treating her like a casual acquaintance-not that she could really blame him considering the way things had ended between them.

And now she was back, barging into his life, hoping and praying she wasn't too late to make amends. Hoping and praying that what she had to offer him would be enough to earn back his trust. His love. For a lifetime.

He settled himself on the couch, those broad shoulders and strong chest of his momentarily distracting her from her original purpose. Desire settled warm and low in her belly, and that tingling sensation spreading through her veins was pure sexual attraction, an all-natural, aphrodisiac-free lust.

It was a wonderful, glorious feeling.

"Kayla?" he prompted, tipping his head curiously. "Are you going to tell me why you're here?"

There were so many reasons why she'd come. So many things she needed to say and share with him. And there was one very important facet of who she was that she needed to show him.

First, she'd start with baring her soul.

"I want to apologize about the candies," she began, and because she was feeling too restless to sit, she remained standing. "I never should have fed them to you, or used you as a guinea pig in my experiment without your knowledge."

He shrugged and stretched his arms along the back of the sofa. "The candies didn't affect me in any way."

"No, but the intent was definitely there on my part, and it was wrong."

He didn't disagree.

She shifted on her sandaled feet and continued. "You know about my past and those insecurities played a big part in my decision to feed you my candies, as a way of protecting my emotions. It was like a big fantasy for me, being ravished without having any expectations of you at all because you were under the influence of an aphrodisiac."

He continued to stare at her, looking as though he wanted to argue those points, but refraining from commenting in order to hear her out.

Pacing to the other end of the sofa, she forced herself to relax, but it was a difficult feat when she had no idea how all this would end. "In the beginning I told myself your passion wasn't real, that it was all a product of a stimulant, and because of that I was able to convince myself that I'd avoid getting hurt when our affair ended because I wouldn't be emotionally involved with you.

"But every time we were together I wanted what we shared to be real. It felt real, and that scared me because I knew I was falling for you. Then I started to question whether your feelings for me were genuine, or a product of the aphrodisiac." She glanced at him and absently tugged on her lower lip with her teeth. "There was also a part of me that just couldn't believe that someone like you could want someone like me beyond a brief fling."

He moved off the couch and came toward her, his stride purposeful. When he reached her, he gently framed her face in his big hands, the intensity in his bright blue eyes holding her gaze hostage.

"Kayla, I wanted you from the first moment I met you at the Commerce dinner. Your smile, your eyes, your laughter, your curvy body… everything about you drew me in. And then I really got to know you, who you are inside, and that's when I fell in love with you."

She put her forehead to his, knowing she'd never get tired of him saying those words. Her chest expanded with so much emotion it felt as though it might burst.

It was time for her to bare what was in her heart, too.

A smile trembled on her lips. "I love you, too, Jack."

"Thank God!"

He wrapped his arms around her, pulled her close, and Kayla felt her aching heart mend itself and her insecurities fade into the past, where they belonged. This was her future, here with Jack. Secure in his embrace, there was no room for doubts or uncertainties. She felt adored. Cherished. Loved.

There was only one thing left for her to do.

She would bare her body to the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

"Take me to your bedroom, Jack," she whispered in his ear.

A teasing, tempting grin tipped the corner of his sexy mouth. "What, no feeding me candies this time?"

"Nope." She'd given her plan for those candies a lot of thought and came up with an alternate idea she was happy with. "I had to scrap my idea for aphrodisiac candies, but I decided I'm going to sell them at Pure Indulgence without the stimulant. I think they'll inspire lustful thoughts because of what the candies resemble, not necessarily because of what's inside of them."

"That's a great idea," he agreed.

She nipped playfully at his chin. "From now on, between you and me, it's nothing but the real thing. Real desire. Real passion."

A groan rumbled up from his chest. "I like the sound of that."

He led her up the darkened stairs into an equally shadowed master bedroom. He didn't attempt to turn on the light, so she did, illuminating the room so that there was nowhere to hide. Jack didn't say a word, but the initial surprise she saw etching his features spoke volumes-he hadn't expected her to be so bold, so brave.

But the anticipation glowing hot and bright in his eyes emboldened her, made her feel feminine and seductive. This man had helped her find the sensual woman lost inside the body her mother and Doug had criticized… and Kayla liked the wanton she was beginning to discover in herself with Jack.

"I want you to see the real me," she whispered, and pushed him back until he was sitting on the mattress, an avid audience of one for her strip show. "All of me."

Standing in front of him, less than a foot away so he could touch if he wanted to, she began unbuttoning the bodice of her dress, until the material parted and she was able to shrug it off her shoulders and down her arms. This unveiling was as much for her as it was for him. A final shedding of that last lingering bit of insecurity that had no place between her and Jack.

He watched as she shimmied the skirt of the dress over her hips, then let it drop to the floor at her feet, leaving her clad in her prettiest lingerie-a sheer lace bra and matching panties in a deep plum shade.

She let him look his fill, and he did so hungrily, and with so much heat in his eyes that she felt seared everywhere he gazed.

"Take off your bra, sweetheart," he urged huskily.

It was gone in less than thirty seconds, her full, lush breasts spilling free right at Jack's eye level. Her nipples puckered into tight, hard points that begged for the touch of his tongue, the wet suction of his mouth.

"You are so perfect," he murmured, and spread his thighs wider apart. "Come closer," he urged.

She stepped between his legs, until his knees bracketed her thighs and that wicked, wonderful mouth of his was an excruciating inch away from her breasts. She could feel his warm, damp breath blowing across her nipples, and she trembled with need.

Then his fingers trailed up the back of her thighs, and she began to quiver all over as he began a slow, thorough exploration of her body-skimming his palms along every curve, every dip and every soft, rounded swell that defined her voluptuous figure.

She would have been lying if she said she was completely at ease standing half-naked in front of him, all her physical flaws and imperfections on display. But when his tongue lapped at her breast, circled a nipple, and she arched her back and moaned shamelessly for more, the rest of her doubts evaporated. Everywhere he touched and caressed he gave her such immense pleasure she forgot why she'd ever been modest with him.

She twined her fingers through his soft, thick hair as he continued to suckle her breast. She felt him tug the waistband of her panties off her hips, then pushed them down her legs and off. Completely naked now, he nudged her legs apart with his foot, and she gasped as his long fingers slid between her thighs, unerringly finding the exact spot that could quickly send her soaring over the edge of a hot, clenching orgasm.

His mouth left her breasts and traversed lower, his lips skimming over her soft belly… her mons… and then his tongue joined the slow slide of his thumb against her cleft.

"Jack…" she rasped.

He tipped his head back, his jaw clenched tight and his eyes hot and demanding. "Let me watch you when you come."

She nodded knowing it was all part of everything that was real between them tonight. Three strokes later she gave him what he'd asked for… let him watch as her climax shuddered through her. It robbed her of breath and the ability to stand on her shaking legs when it was finally over.

Next thing she knew, she was lying on a soft bedspread and he was moving over her, between her thighs. He braced his forearms on either side of her head so she was able to look into his eyes. She lifted her knees so that their hips met and the heated length of his shaft brushed intimately against her.

A private smile curved her lips.

"What are you grinning about?" he asked.

She ran her hands down his muscled back, over his buttocks, and pulled him closer so that he was nearly penetrating her. "You're thrilled to see me." Finally, the reaction she'd hoped for since he'd greeted her at the door.

"Hell yeah, I am," he growled, and proved it by sliding deep inside her. Then he began to move at a slow, leisurely pace. "I'm even more thrilled to have you in my bed, right where you belong. I may never let you out of it."

"Sounds lovely," she said on a wistful sigh. "But we both have businesses to run."

"Then how about you marry me and then I know you'll be in my bed every night for the rest of my life?" he suggested.

She went still and looked up at Jack, not doubting for a second the sincerity of his proposal, or his love for her. "Yes," she whispered around the joy filling her heart. "Yes, I'll marry you."

He looked immensely pleased with himself. "And what about filling up this big house with kids?" he asked, rolling his hips lazily against hers. "You up for that task?"

"Oh, yeah," she purred, imagining a little boy or girl with their father's blue eyes and being spoiled rotten by their aunt Jillian. "Especially if it means lots and lots of practicing beforehand."

"You got it, but you have to promise me two things," he said, as his thrusts deepened.

That sweet tension began to build again, and Kayla struggled to keep her mind on their conversation. "Anything at all."

"Promise me I'll be your main indulgence other than chocolate." He winked. "And no more funny stuff with your desserts."

She laughed, then groaned as another flex of his hips brought her that much closer to another breath-stealing climax. "You've got yourself a deal."

"And you, Kayla Thomas, have yourself a husband."

Then all talking ceased as they both gave in to the desire and passion that was theirs, and theirs alone.