Ruined

Chapter Thirty-Four

Sam

“This isn’t what I wanted, Samantha. Not really. I need you to believe me.”

I refused to answer. He’d been talking for the last forty minutes, professing his regret and insisting that things had “gotten out of hand.”

He knelt in front of me in the dirt. The fact that he didn’t seem affected by the cold was annoying. The sun was going down, and flurries dotted the sky. The thin flannel shirt he’d given me from his closet did little to stave off the chill, and my feet were numb. The bridge had washed away in the last big storm, so we’d had to trek through the stream to get across. My socks and shoes were soaked. “I do care about you. I always have. That’s never been a lie.”

I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I’d been giving him the silent treatment for the last few days except for the two times he demanded I speak to him. “Then why are you doing this?”

He deflated just a bit and sighed. “This is so much bigger than Jax and me. We got a raw deal. These two demons? Zenak and Azirak? You can’t fathom the level of hate they have for each other. We have no choice. If I weren’t doing this now, it would be Jax doing it later.” His voice got darker, and he stood. “Anyway, you should thank me. Once I kill Jax, Zenak and its clan will get their power back and you’ll be safe. Another outcome wouldn’t end well for you. We’re linked, remember? The other faction is hunting you down as we speak.”

Anger and betrayal roared in my head. It was raw and ugly and in that instant I’d never hated anyone or anything more than him. “You and Jax have no choice? Do you hear what you’re saying? Of course you do. You could choose to let me go. Break the link. You could choose to leave your brother alone. Jax did. He walked away. He felt so much anger toward you that he left everything he knew and loved to keep you safe.”

“God,” he yelled. “You act like he’s a fucking saint. His leaving was weakness. He should have killed me that night he was standing over my bed. I knew he was there. Waiting. But he didn’t make a move.” He kicked a rock at his feet and came at me, gripping both shoulders tight and putting his face in mine. “You’re always defending him. Always talking about him like he’s a damn god. I’m the strong one. I’m the one who stayed for you. Me.”

“Don’t you get it?” I screamed. “I don’t want you!” Deep breath. “Part of you must know that on some level. That explains the kiss in the diner. We were linked, right? You had to command me to kiss you. There’s no other way I would have ever gone there.”

I saw it brewing in his eyes. The violent storm. “Bitch,” he spat as his hand snaked out. It caught me across the jaw, rocking my head back. I saw stars for a minute. Beads of color and ribbons of light.

How could this be the same person I’d known my whole life? The guy who taught me how to pay beer pong and aces? The guy who loved animals and volunteered at the children’s home on Wednesday nights? His anger scared me. I’d never seen him so riled, and with the demon inside, I didn’t know what he might do if he didn’t calm down. Impulse control had never been his strong suit.

“Jax could have taken you out at any point. Don’t you think taunting him home was risky?”

Chase laughed. He shook his head and kicked at another small stone by my feet. The pebble rolled away, bouncing until it hit a nearby pine tree. “You’ve known Jax almost as long as I have, Samantha. He’s always struggled with what he is. He fought Azirak’s hate for me from the first moment it crept into his mind.”

“You and this thing belong together. You’re both disgusting.”

There was a blur of movement and his hand was at my chin, fingers digging hard into skin as his eyes flashed black, then gray again. “Careful, Samantha. My demon just barely tolerates you for my sake. Don’t give it an excuse to hurt you.”

He held on for a moment before letting go. He paced from one end of the fort to the other. The movement was stiff and jerky. I recognized it from watching Jax. His demon was hungry. “Power, Samantha. Unbelievable power.”

He stopped and leaned close, warm breath puffing out across my skin. He skimmed down the side of my face with the tip of his nose, sighing. “Stay with me and we can have it together. I look just like him. I wouldn’t even be offended if you pretend.”

I leaned in close and gave him a shy smile. He returned it, bringing his lips closer. Nearly touching, I whispered, “You might be his twin, but you look nothing like him. You’re a monster—inside and out.”

He pulled away, anger slowly changing to amusement. A flash of black, and the demon emerged. He continued backing up until he came to medium-sized branch that jutted out from the large pine tree beside him. “Fine. Have it your way. I prefer lust, but I can sustain myself on your agony just as easily.” He drew his body back, then slammed forward, ramming his shoulder into the trunk of the tree.

Despite my best efforts, I screamed. I wobbled sideways, sliding from atop the large rock, and crumbled to the ground in a rush of pain. The world went dark for a minute, and when I could breathe again, I looked up. Chase, the demon still in control, was looming above me with a sadistic grin.

“You were never good enough for him,” it said with a laugh.

“Fuck you,” I spat through the pain. Silence. I wouldn’t cry out again. Wouldn’t give it the satisfaction.

“I’m the demon. I’m the human. You’re not understanding. We’re one.”

“Aww,” I said, forcing a smile. Involuntary tears welled as I swallowed back a painful whimper. “A cute demonic couple.”

He hauled me from the ground by a handful of hair. That time I couldn’t help it. I screamed. The sound bounced off the mountain and echoed into the valley. “That’s more like it,” it said, pushing me against one of the trees with enough force to shake some leaves loose.

Bending close, it closed its eyes and inhaled deeply, smiling. “We each have our favorite emotions. Azirak’s are rage and pain. Wholly unpleasant. They leave a sweet taste behind. Lust, however, is tart. Like lemons. Refreshing. The pleasures of the flesh are where my interests lie. It’s how I will feed.” Right hand falling to Chase’s belt, it slipped the buckle and undid the first button of his jeans.

My heart stuttered, skipping a beat before hammering into hyperdrive. I had to get away. Because the alternative…? No. I bent forward, pretending to accept my fate. When the demon laughed, I struck. Kicking off the ground, I brought my right knee up as hard as possible. The connection it made was both satisfying—the bastard screamed in agony—and sickening because I felt it too. He teetered back and I doubled over and stumbled away, gasping for air.

Something latched onto my ankle, and in a rush of dirt and air, I was on the ground and Chase was on my back. “Little bitch,” it spat. Now its voice was different. Less human. It grabbed my arms and twisted, pinning them.

“Enough.” Jax boomed. I twisted, and in the fading sunlight, he was there. Standing at the mouth of the fort, trench coat flapping in the wind like a superhero’s cape. Larger than life, he was a mix of myth and magic made flesh and blood.

I wouldn’t let him sacrifice himself.

“I wasn’t sure you’d show.”

“I’d never leave Sammy to die.” Jax stepped over a fallen tree, into the mouth of the fort, eyes never leaving mine. “Get off of her.” The command left no room for argument. “Now.”

“Despite her less-than-friendly attitude, I’ll keep my word. She’ll be safe. I promise.” The pressure on my back disappeared, and Chase dragged me up. His voice was normal now. The demon was gone.

“You word means shit to me,” Jax snapped, stopping a few feet from his brother. “I want a minute to say good-bye.”

A plan. He had to have a plan. The Jax I knew would never just give up. He’d be smart enough to know that if he died, I would never be free.

Chase shrugged and stepped back. “Don’t see what it could hurt. She can’t leave, and if you make a move I don’t like, I’ll plunge a knife right into my heart.”

“I’d never risk it,” Jax replied.

“And that’s exactly why we’re here, big brother. Because you were never willing to take the risk.”

“No,” Jax said. There was a sad ring to his voice. How had we all ended up here? A few months ago my world was normal. Sure, Jax was gone, and Rick would have been sick either way, but there were no demons. No witches. No gate to hell swinging on rusted hinges. Life was simple. Now? I couldn’t imagine anything more complicated. “We’re here because you were.”

Chase looked like he wanted to say something more, but simply nodded. “You have your good-bye. I won’t leave the area, but I will walk away. That’s all Zenak will let me do.”

“It will have to be enough.”

Jax waited until his brother turned away to start forward.

“This is crazy. You can’t do this,” I whispered. Not that I cared if Chase heard. What was he going to do, stab himself again? Head rush another tree? That wouldn’t be as bad as watching him kill Jax.

“Sammy,” he said, taking my face into his hands. There was something in it. It was smooth and cool with a slight point at the top. “I’m doing what I need to do.” As he spoke, he slid the hand, and the thing beneath it, down my cheek and over my shoulder. From there, he skimmed my arm and ended by wrapping his fingers through mine. With a single squeeze, he took his hand back, leaving me with the small object. With a pointed stare, he gave a slight nod to my pocket. Whatever it was, he wanted me to hide it.

Ha! I knew it. A plan. Sniffling, I stuffed both hands into my pockets. “There has to be another way,” I said, keeping the charade going. No telling what Chase would do if he thought something was up.

“I wish there was.” He pulled way and slowly mouthed, “This might hurt. But when I make my move, I need you to run.”

I shook my head. “I can’t. He—”

His eyes darkened. The middle of each iris turned black, leaving only a thin line around the edge gray. “Trust me, Samantha Merrick.”

He pulled away, eyes reverting to gray, and I let my head fall forward so that our foreheads rested together. “There’s stuff I want to say…” I wasn’t acting anymore. What if something happened and he was killed? What if we both were? I’d told him how I felt, but there was so much more to it than short, simple words.

“Tell me later, then. Over popcorn and coffee and cartoons.” He brought his hands up to either side of my face, skimming my cheeks with the tips of his fingers and threading them through my hair. When his lips met mine, it was shocking. Like being dipped into an icy lake in the middle of a snowstorm. Suddenly every inch of me was alive and desperate for his warmth like my life depended on it. His arms crushed my body closer, the kiss stealing the air, as I fought to keep my balance. It was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before. Love. So much love. Everything Jax felt for me was there in that kiss.

A dizzying rush of images flooded my mind. Jax seeing me for the first time, at my parent’s funeral. The first time he’d crawled out onto his roof to sit with me after a nightmare. Our first day of high school. Our kiss in the fort. Him standing over Chase’s bed with a knife, fighting back the demon inside. Seeing me leaning across the table at McCarthy’s, kissing Chase.

I saw everything. I felt everything. His thoughts and emotions in all those moments were buzzing around inside my head, inside my heart, threatening to make my head explode.

When he pulled away, it was like he took a chunk of me with him. I could almost see it in the air as we separated, a thick, silver strand wrapped around me, connected to him. As he backed away, the silver faded, but the glow of it, faint but unmistakable, remained.