Secret Shared

11 CASSIE

IT WAS ONLY a matter of time before Mark Drury made his way to the Café Rose for Sunday brunch, a newspaper tucked under his arm, a sheepish grin on his face. He didn’t have my number and I hadn’t called him since our one-night stand almost two weeks ago.

“Hello, Cassie,” he said. “Fancy meeting you here.”

“Very fancy,” I said, “and very early. One o’clock in the afternoon. Did you have to set your alarm?”

“Funny.”

I brought over a menu, flipped his coffee cup and filled it to the brim.

“I’ll be right back to take your order.”

“I’m in no hurry. Unlike you,” he said, snapping open his paper. He was referring to the morning after, when I had left his place rather quickly. The last time I saw him he was tangled in mismatched sheets, softly snoring.

I rolled my eyes at him and headed to the kitchen.

When I returned, he ordered scrambled eggs, Boudin sausage and toast, which he ate in a matter of minutes. When I removed his empty plates, he ordered a large house salad.

“For digestion. Like the Italians,” he said.

After his salad he asked about the soup special.

“It was curried cauliflower, but we’re all out,” I said, just as Dell walked by with a platter of eggs Benedict.

“I’ll thaw some of that minestrone. Won’t take a minute,” she offered.

“Sounds perfect,” he replied.

“You’re mighty hungry today, Mr. Drury.”

“I’ve got a gig tonight. Always makes me hungry. Why don’t you come see us? We’re at the Spotted Cat.”

He pulled a flyer out of his pocket and handed it to me just as Will, covered in white dust from head to toe, rounded the corner and headed upstairs. I wasn’t sure he caught the tail end of our exchange, so I raised my voice.

“I will do my best to be there tonight, Mark. Thank you for the invitation!”

“Great!” Mark replied, confused by my sudden enthusiasm. “I should probably go now.”

“No soup?”

“Just the bill. I gotta clean up my place in case I have guests after my gig.”

“That’s unlikely,” I said, a little more quietly this time.

“We’ll see about that.”

When he looked at me, all the arrogance of his youth seemed to melt away and for a second he was just a young man who wanted to spend some time with me. And yet … and yet … all I craved was a nice long run followed by a cuddle with my cat, my couch and the remote.

I cashed out Mark’s bill, for which he left me a too-hefty tip. Then I headed upstairs to tell Will I was leaving for the night. I hadn’t been in the new space in a week and the transformation was astonishing. From a dim, dingy storeroom with fading wallpaper and dusty floors, Will had created an airy modern dining room, with new casement windows facing the street, exposed brick on two of the walls, the floors stripped and oiled to perfection. He was painting the men’s washroom at the top of the stairs next to the new skylights. I poked my head in to helpfully turn on the light, causing both of us to squint in the brightness.

“Whoa, I didn’t notice the light was fading. What time is it?”

“Time for me to go home. Just letting you know Dell’s on her own until Tracina gets here.”

“Busy day?”

It bothered me that his voice could still freeze me in my tracks. It had been almost five full months since …

“Not bad.”

It was also hard not to notice how his upper body was becoming more defined by all the manual labor, especially his forearms. He had bits of paint and plaster in his hair that I desperately wanted to pluck out.

“Plans tonight?” he continued, as I backed out of the washroom to check out the rest of the renos.

“As a matter of fact, yes, I have plans.”

“With that skinny boy who was just here?”

“Maybe.” I said. “I cannot tell you how beautiful it looks up here. I am beyond impressed.”

“Are you guys dating?”

“Um … he’s just a friend, Will,” I said, refusing to go there, but quietly pleased he wanted to.

The main dining area took my breath away, the smoked-glass wall sconces, the refurbished metal light pendants that hung over the bar area. I could picture how beautiful it would look furnished and bustling, full of shiny, sexy diners falling in love over candlelight. That’s when I saw something weird poking out from behind the new walnut bar—a brand-new twin mattress wedged between the wall and the fridge, a coverless duvet thrown on top.

Will came stumbling into the room, rubbing his hands on his jeans. I turned from the mattress to him.

“Oh,” he said, looking from me to the mattress. “I’ve been sleeping here a few nights. Tracina, with the pregnancy … I mean, if I’m not keeping her up, she’s keeping me up. And we both need our rest. When the baby comes, everything will be easier.”

“That’s kind of the opposite of what I hear about babies,” I said. I desperately wanted to change the subject, so I did.

“It’s so beautiful, Will, I mean it,” I said. “Your work … you should be very proud. This’ll be one of the nicest restaurants on Frenchmen.”

“I want to have a really interesting wine list, you know? Bring some in from atypical places, like Uruguay and Texas. They have great vineyards in Hill Country.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“You will. Soon enough.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Well, you’ll have to brush up on your wine knowledge, because you’re going to manage this place for me. I want you to run it,” Will said. “Your hours will change. You’d be here afternoons into the dinner rush. You’ll have to wear nicer clothes. I mean, not black satin gowns, but not black T-shirts either. I’ll pay you more. I’ll pay you well.”

The whole time he spoke, I stood there watching his mouth move. Being near him, working with him, seeing him every day—I wanted that. Watching him with Tracina and the baby, feeling the ongoing pain of being on the outside looking in on his family life, I didn’t want that.

“I can’t think of anyone else but you for the job,” he added, taking a step closer to me.

“Does Tracina know?”

“I haven’t run it past her yet, no. Cassie, we’re not … we’re not partners. Not like it would have been with … you.”

We both felt the weight of his words fill the unfinished room. I reached forward, caressing his forearm with my fingers, electrifying us both. I meant it as a thank-you gesture, to punctuate this great opportunity he had just offered me, one that I would still need time to think about. But then my hand started to move, almost of its own accord, traveling up his arm, under the sleeve of his T-shirt where a new muscle had formed, the one that twitched when he punched in numbers at the cash register or rolled a layer of paint on a wall. My hand moved slowly over his chest, lingering above his heart, which sped up beneath my touch, sending a vibration through my arm. He grabbed me by the elbow and tugged me against him, placing a hand under my chin to tilt my face up so I was staring into his eyes.

“Do you understand how much I want you?” His voice was strained, hoarse.

I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but the words were stuck in my throat. And then I felt it, his mouth on the base of my neck, kissing me there. When our lips met, it was like they had missed each other for ages.

“Cassie …” He said my name between kisses, biting, nibbling my lips, one arm around my back, holding me against him, his other hand diving under my T-shirt, cupping my breasts lovingly, greedily. I felt him stiffen as I buried my head in his shoulder and shut my eyes. I wanted to freeze this moment with the only man I really wanted, holding me, wanting me …

“I won’t stop, unless you tell me to stop,” he whispered, his hand sliding down the back of my jeans, squeezing.

I didn’t want him to stop, and if I hadn’t spotted my flushed, guilty face in the mirror over the bar, I wouldn’t have made him stop.

“We can’t,” I said, prying myself out of his embrace and taking a step back. He recoiled too, not from me, but from his own actions.

“We were friends for years, Will,” I said. “Good friends.”

“I don’t want another friend. I want you.”

“Believe me. In a few months, you’re gonna need friends,” I said, tucking my T-shirt back into my jeans and straightening my apron.

“I’m sorry, Cassie. It’s actually pretty shitty of me to offer you a promotion and then turn around and fall all over you like that.”

“I won’t lodge a complaint … if you promise not to do it again.”

“I’m not making any more promises I can’t keep. But can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

“Will you think about my job offer?”

“I will.”

“Will you be here tomorrow?”

“First thing.”

“And the next day?”

“And the day after that.”

“I guess that’s gotta be good enough. For now.”

I smiled. How could I not? I turned and headed out of the room and down the hall to the stairs.

“Cassie, just so you know …”

I turned to face him.

“It’s you … it’s always been you.”

I braced myself on the balustrade.

“Did you hear me?”

“I did. I gotta go, Will.”

Downstairs I yelled a “see you later” to Dell in the kitchen, who gave me a weird look. Then I snatched my purse from my locker and left, hot tears stinging my eyes. It wasn’t until I hit Chartres that I realized the front of my black T-shirt was covered in white plaster and bits of paint.