Seduced

Chapter 11

" Surprise!"a loud assembly of guests chorused as Brooke and Marc walked into Ryan's house right onschedule a half hour after everyone else had arrived.

Standing at the front of the group in the silky blue dress she'd bought for the occasion, Jessica watched as Brooke gasped and pressed a hand to her chest, her eyes wide with confusion. Beside her sister, Marc looked on with bemusement as he helped Brooke take off her coat, seemingly unsure of what he and his wife had just stepped into.

Brooke's gaze found Jessica in the gathering of friends and family crowded in Ryan's foyer. "What's all this about?" she asked, bewilderment coloring her voice. Her fingers fluttered self-consciously down the front of her slim black dress, smoothing out imaginary wrinkles. "I thought this was a New Year's Eve party."

Ryan stepped forward before Jessica could respond, and her heart twisted painfully in her chest, adding to the constant ache she'd experienced since arriving two hours ago to help him with the last-minute preparations for the party. Despite what had transpired between them last night, and this morning, he'd been polite and cordial, almost indifferent, and whenever possible he'd kept his distance. He acted as if they'd never spent the past month getting to know each other. As if they'd never indulged in sensual fantasies andmade love last night. As if he'd never told her he loved her.

And even though Jessica acknowledged that it had been her choice to end their affair, that she'd been the one to drive him to such extreme measures, the distance he'd already established between them added to her misery. If she was fortunate, in another twenty years the memories they'd created together would no longer smother her. And she'd be able to say his name without feeling as though a piece of her soul had been ripped from her. And maybe, just maybe, she'd be able to live through a whole minute without being consumed by thoughts of him.

"Itis a New Year's Eve party," Ryan confirmed with an easy grin. He shook Marc's hand in greeting, then placed a chaste kiss on Brooke's cheek. "But it's also a surprise party for you and Marc since you had a small wedding and no reception."

Sentimental emotions touched Brooke's features, and she once again sought Jessica. "Did you know about this, Jess?"

She nodded, her throat too tight to speak.

"Actually, it was her idea," Ryan said, slipping his hands into the front pockets of his black trousers that complemented his black-and-beige pinstriped shirt. "I just supplied the house for the party."

He'd done more than that, and they both knew it. He'd been responsible for a good many of the decisions that had gone into the planning, from the decorations, to the menu, to the huge gift basket overflowing with sensual items, which was sitting on one of the tables laden with presents from the other guests.

"Well, you two shouldn't have," Marc said, though it was obvious he appreciated the gesture, as well.

Jessica forced a cheerful smile. "I wanted to do something special for the both of you." She enveloped each of them in a warm hug, then grabbed her sister's hand and tugged her toward the waiting guests. "Now come on in, and enjoy your evening."

Now that the guests of honor had arrived, the party atmosphere turned lively, loud, and fun. Laughter and conversation filtered through the house, the buffet enticed people to eat, and Jessica did her best to have a good time and keep her gaze off Ryan. Yet out of sight was not out of her mind. And every time she thought about not seeing him after tonight, she felt herself die a little more inside.

A few hours later, everyone gathered in the living room to watch Brooke and Marc open their gifts. They received everything from kitchen appliances, to basic accessories, and other practical items. The sensual bathroom products she and Ryan had selected were a hit, and caused a bit of ribald teasing. While Marc fended off good-natured ribbing from the male guests, Jessica glanced across the room where she knew Ryan was standing, with his shoulder braced against the wall and a drink in hand.

Her breath caught when she found him watching her, a flicker of warmth in his eyes, as if he, too, was remembering the fun they'd had testing their own supply of those items. She recalled how incredibly patient he'd been with her… and she'd repaid him by rejecting his love.

He looked away when his sister, Natalie, came up to his side and said something to him. Ignoring the sense of loss settling over her, Jessica returned her attention to her sister and Marc, and was chagrined to realize that Brooke had caught the exchange between her and Ryan. Her sister's brow quirked curiously at her, and Jessica pretended not to understand the questioning look.

Once the gift opening was over, Jessica mingled with the guests,then met up with her sister, who was enjoying a slice of one of the cakes. Brooke took a bite of the confection and rolled her eyes heavenward as she savored the taste.

"Oh, wow, this cake isincredible," Brooke said, and held out a forkful to Jessica. "Do you want a bite?"

The dessert Brooke offered was the Better Than Sex Cake. Jessica suppressed a shiver of recollection and shook her head. She'd be so grateful when the evening was over and she could escape everything that reminded her of Ryan and the time they'd spent together.

She'd return to her quiet, lonely apartment and continue her quiet, lonely, solitary life, a little voice in the back of her mind taunted. Before she could stop herself, a painful sigh unraveled out of her,

Brooke tipped her head, regarding her with concern. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Sure. I'm great." Her voice vibrated with false lightness, and she added a quick smile as backup. "Why?"

"You just seem, well, upset about something." Brooke took another bite of the dessert, and seemed to contemplate Jessica's mood. "Did you and Ryan have an argument?"

Oh, yeah, a huge, life-altering one,

"I mean, you must have had to spend some time together while planning this surprise party," Brooke went on while finishing her cake. "And I know how the two of you are around each other. The air fairly crackles with tension when you're together. But now it seems like you're avoiding each other."

"Don't we always?" she quipped.

"Not like this, Jess. You'redeliberately avoiding each other, and despite your lawyer jokes and Ryan's teasing, that's never kept the two of youapart when you're in the same room." She set her plate aside. "Is something going on between the two of you?"

She wanted so badly to confide in her sister, but her emotions were in such turmoil, she didn't know where to begin, or what to say.

And then she lost the opportunity as theping, ping, ping of silver against crystal captured everyone's attention. The guests grew quiet, and all eyes turned to Ryan, who stood in the middle of the living room with a glass of champagne in his hand.

He smiled, but his eyes lacked their normal sparkle. "It's ten minutes tomidnight, and before we bring in the new year, I'd like for everyone to grab a drink so I can make a toast to Marc and Brooke."

It took nearly five minutes for family and friends to grab their choice of drink and settle back into the room. Once everyone was present, and Marc and Brooke were situated next to Ryan to receive his best-man speech, he cleared his throat and began.

"I've known Marc for quite a few years now, and I always thought he'd remain a bachelor forever, or at least that was his plan." Chuckles rippled through the small audience before Ryan continued. "When Marc fell in love with Brooke, I knew that she had to be a really special woman, one with a giving heart and the capacity to accept Marc for who and what he was. I knew she'd be the kind of woman who'd be his best friend through trials and triumphs. It is said that no man is complete until he finds the right woman to marry, and it's clear that Brooke has made Marc's life complete. Every man should be so fortunate."

Jessica stood behind Brooke and Marc, and belatedly realized her mistake in positioning herself so close to the bride and groom when Ryan's gaze subtly shifted to her. A frisson of awareness shot through her, and her insides began to tremble.

He didn't look away, and she couldn't either. "I've only been in love once, but I understand how powerful that emotion can be. I also know that there are times when love can be painful and trying, so I'd like to say a few things for you to keep in mind for the years ahead. Love without fear. Trust without questioning. Accept without change, and desire each other without inhibitions. Always believe in one another, and always have faith." He raised his flute of champagne to the happy couple, and everyone followed his lead. "Here's to love and laughter, and your happily ever after."

"Hear, hear," the guests echoed jovially, and Jessica was hardly aware of someone next to her clinking their glass against hers as she watched Marc kiss her sister with the kind of the love and tenderness Ryan had shown her.

Emotions clamored in her chest, her mind spun, and she struggled to keep herself grounded. Tears tightened her throat and burned the back of her eyes. Though Ryan's toast was for Brooke and Marc, the profound words beckoned to her, and made her realize what she'd never, ever have in her life-love, laughter, and her own happily ever after.

"Hey, everybody," someone in the room called out. "It's the countdown tomidnight!"

The guests began counting down from ten, until finally the old year rolled into the new one and everyone cheered, hugged, and wished one another a happy new year.

Unable to participate in the ritual when she had absolutely nothing to celebrate, Jessica slipped from the room as inconspicuously as possible, taking her heartache with her.

Brooke found her in the downstairs study minutes later. Jessica barely had time to swipe the tears from her cheeks before her sister laid into her.

"Iknew something was going on between you and Ryan. He might have made that toast to Marc and me, but he was looking atyou, Jessica." Brooke crossed her arms over her chest, exerting her big-sister presence. "Out with it," she demanded.

Jessica didn't bother to pretend she didn't know what Brooke was referring to. This time, she let the floodgates open and told her sister about the past month with Ryan, how she'd seen such a different side to him than she'd always believed, how she'd fallen in love with him, and ultimately, how she doubted her ability to trust in him because of her fears.

Brooke grabbed her hands and gave them a gentle squeeze. "Ah, Jess, sometimes following your heart is one of the most difficult things you'll ever do."

"But what if-"

Brooke shook her head, cutting off her sister's argument. "There are no 'what ifs' when you're in love. It just is. And despite what you might believe, not every man is like Dad."

"You know," she breathed, not at all surprised that her sister understood her so well.

"Yeah, I know that his leaving devastated you and made you feel insecure about so many things. I know our life was tough, but we made it just fine, Jess." Brooke smiled, and brushed a stray strand of hair off her cheek."You made it just fine. And I don't want to see you lose the best thing that has ever come into your life because you're afraid of trusting your true instincts."

She moved away from her sister and glanced at the hardbound books tucked in an oak bookshelf, unable to relinquish deeper insecurities. "What if I want more from Ryan than he can give me?"

"How do you know what he's capable of giving unless you give him a chance?" she countered.

And that meant trusting Ryan to put her first, and on those occasions when he couldn't because of the demands of his career, trusting herself to be strong enough to believe he'd always be there for her. To have faith that he'd find that balance.

"I don't think you'll ever forgive Dad for what he did to the family," Brooke said softly from behind her. "But don't let him sabotage your chance to be happy and possibly have a family of your own."

With that, her sister left the room to return to the party, leaving Jessica to contemplate her past, the present, and the future. And as she let go of bitter, resentful memories, she discovered a fortitude she never realized she possessed. A strength born of love. And the courage to grasp the kind of happiness Brooke had found for herself.

The kind of happiness Jessica had denied herself for far too long.

It seemed like forever before everyone cleared out of Ryan's house and she was alone with him. She was exhausted, but determined to speak with him. And she was nervous. Oh, Lord, especially that. So much was at stake. So much was at risk. Her heart. Her body. Her soul.

The rest of her life.

He frowned when he saw her standing in the entryway all by herself, clearly not happy to find her still around. "What are you still doing here?" he asked, his tone flat and emotionless. "I thought you left when Brooke did."

"No, I only walked them out." Feeling her tenacity slip a serious notch, she blurted out her request before she lost her nerve. "Ryan… I'd like to talk to you."

He stared at her for a long, hard moment. "After this morning, I don't think there's anything left to say."

His reply startled her, rattling her composure and the carefully thought-out discussion she'd had planned. An awful sense of foreboding closed in on her like a vise around her chest. "What about…"Us. She nearly wept as the one word got tangled around those damnable insecurities of hers.

He jammed his hands on his hips, his expression impatient. "What about what?" he prompted gruffly.

She couldn't think straight. She needed time, time to gather her thoughts again. Her gaze swept the area, and she grasped the first excuse that came to mind. "What about the mess?"

Her offer to help only seemed to aggravate him more. "I have a cleaning crew coming in the morning, so go on home and don't worry about it." He paused for a moment, then said in a low, rough tone filled with too much emotion, "Goodbye, Jessica." With that, he turned and headed toward the kitchen.

She watched him go, her heart aching so fiercely she could hardly breathe. He didn't want her anymore. And she had no one to blame except herself.

All because she hadn't been able to bring herself to trust in Ryan and his love.

Ryan heard the front door open and close, and felt the finality of Jessica leaving right to the very depths of his soul. Bracing his hands on the kitchen counter, he squeezed his tired eyes shut and berated himself for being such an ass. The least he could have done was walk her to her car, but he hadn't been able to perform that simple gentlemanly task. It just hurt too damn much to be around her, and he hadn't wanted to stretch out their final goodbye.

All night he'd suffered with her being in his constant line of vision, of being wrapped in her scent when she happened to pass him. He'd tormented himself with private fantasies that included stripping off that sexy, silky blue dress she'd worn, fantasies of having her in his bed, his life.

And there, for a moment, he'd thought, hoped, that her reasons for wanting to stay behind had to do with them… not the mess.

Yeah, he was a mess all right, he thought with a disgusted snort. And he had no idea how he was going to get over loving and losing Jessica. One day at a time, he supposed.

A half an hour later, dead tired and weary to the bone, he locked up the house, turned off the lights, then dragged himself upstairs. By the time he'd reached his bedroom he had his shirt unbuttoned. Shrugging out of the garment, he tossed it over the end of his bed. He toed off his shoes, pulled off his socks and replaced his dress pants with a pair of sweat shorts.

He went to retrieve a T-shirt from his dresser, and that's when he caught sight of the pool of shimmering blue silk on the carpeted floor. His pulse raced as he followed a trail of silky stockings, a lacy black bra, and panties that led to the bathroom door, which had been left open a crack.

He pushed slowly against the door, and was greeted by the lush scent of strawberries, the flickering illumination of candlelight, and a woman lounging in his bathtub with a froth of bubbles coating the surface of the water. His gut clenched, with anxiety, and a hope so excruciating it nearly stole his breath.

Somehow, some way, he found his voice. "What are you doing here?"

Big blue eyes met his, and a tremulous smile touched her lips. "I'm attempting to prove a point."

Not sure where her scene for seduction was leading, he frowned down at her. "Excuse me?"

She drew a deep breath, and he watched in too much fascination as the bubbles quivered around the soft rise of her breasts. "You've shown me many times in the past month that actions speak louder than words. And since I was having trouble speaking downstairs, I thought I'd giveyour tactic a try to get your attention."

"You definitely have that." He rubbed a hand along the back of his neck, unable to relax the tense muscles bunching across his shoulders. "I thought you left."

"I never left, Ryan," she said, her voice as soft as the shadows in the bathroom. And just as vulnerable. "When it came right down to walking out your door, I couldn't do it. And I'm not going to leave until we talk."

Remembering how his bruised pride had prompted him to tell her they had nothing left to say to each other, this time he couldn't refuse her, not after she'd found the fortitude within herself to stay.

"All right," he conceded, and settled himself on the ledge of the tub. "Since you know exactly what I want from you, exactly how I feel about you, the floor is yours."

"I do want you, Ryan Matthews. More than I've ever wanted anyone in my life, and in ways that scare me."

"And what are you afraid of?" He knew her fears, but he had to know she'd resolved them for herself.

"I'm afraid of trusting a man for my happiness. Scared of giving in to the things I feel for you, and ending up being alone anyway." Her hands fluttered over the surface of the water, making it ripple enticingly. Making him wonder if she was completely naked beneath. "It's been very difficult for me, but I've come to realize that my expectations of you were unrealistic, and were just a way for me to maintain an emotional distance. As much as I wanted to when I first met you, I can't condemn you for being a divorce attorney, because you've shown me how kind, caring and fair you are, and that you'd never deliberately hurt someone for your own selfish gains. I have to believe what you do for aliving, you do because you truly want to help people, because there is nothing egotistical or self-absorbed about you."

As much as her revelation pleased him, he remained quiet, needing more from her than that acceptance.

She seemed to sense that, too. "I know I can never forget what my father did to our family, the pain he put us through by abandoning us so completely, but I'm ready to put that resentment behind me, because I can't bear the thought of losing you."

"And what about my career?" he asked, knowing her insecurities extended to that, too. "Are you able to accept the long hours ahead, the late nights, and the balance between my work and our relationship?"

"I'm willing to try," she replied honestly. "Knowing you love me makes a big difference, because I know you don't take something like that lightly."

His gaze held hers steadily. "No, I don't."

She bit her bottom lip, and reached out and touched a wet hand to his cheek."You make me feel safe, and secure, and protected," she whispered in an aching voice. "And it's been so long since I've felt that way."

"I'll be here for you, Jessie." Gently capturing her wrist, he pressed a kiss in the center of her damp palm. "All you have to do is trust me, and believe in me."

"Oh, I do." The candlelight flickered, illuminating the beauty of her face, the vulnerability still lingering in her eyes. "And that's part of what frightens me so much. The depth of my feelings for you is very overwhelming, and like nothing I've ever experienced."

"And what do you feel?"

The question prompted her to take that final leap of faith, to risk all. She did. "I feel a richness and contentment I never knew was possible until you came into my life. I'm ready to trust my instincts, and I'm ready to trust my heart." She paused for a moment, then seemingly drew on that well of strength and confidence he always knew she possessed. "I'm naked beneath these bubbles, Ryan. Physically and emotionally. I didn't want anything between us when I told you that I loved you so you'd know that I'm not hiding behind anything, that what I feel for you comes straight from my heart and soul."

He let go of her hand, briefly severing the connection between them, knowing when they came together again the bond would be stronger than before. "Stand up and show me."

A sensual dare. A provocative challenge. A final dissolving of those barriers that had kept her from being completely his.

Without an ounce of modesty, she stood, baring herself to him. His mouth went dry as he watched the slick water sluice down her naked body. Her skin glowed from the candlelight, and bubbles clung to her breasts, her belly,her thighs. He grew hard with a wanting and hunger he knew would never abate. Not in this lifetime.

She slipped her fingers beneath his chin and raised his gaze back to hers. "I love you, Ryan Matthews," she said, her clear voice and velvet blue eyes filled with the sentiment she spoke of.

His chest tightened, seeming to spill over with emotions for this woman who'd filled his life to overflowing. Straightening, he stripped off his shorts, not wanting her to be the only one naked-physically and emotionally. "I loveyou, Jessica Newman," he returned.

A sultry smile curved her mouth as she took a moment to appreciate the length of his body, and his obvious need for her. Passion and tenderness brightened her eyes when she met his gaze again.

"I love you without fear," she said, reciting the toast he'd written and had meant, on some level, for her. "I trust you without question. I accept you without change, and I desire you without inhibitions."

He stepped into the tub, but didn't touch her. "Will you always believe in me, and always have faith?"

"Yes," she breathed.

It was all he needed to hear. He sank into the warm, silky water, braced his back against the side, and pulled her with him so she straddled his hips. She gasped as his erection slid against the heat of her, and for as much as he ached to complete their union, he held back.

He smoothed damp, unruly strands away from her face. "Then I promise to give you love and laughter, and a happily ever after."

She stiffened, her eyes widening in shock. "Are you…"

"Proposing?" he suggested.

She settled her hands on his shoulders and nodded, hope and uncertainties mingling in her gaze.

He lazily, leisurely stroked his hands along her spine to her hips, loving the feel of her. "Yes, I am."

"You really want to marry me?" Disbelief tinged her voice. "I mean, that's a big step, a huge commitment-"

"One I'm finally ready for," he assured her. But doubts still lingered for her-he could see them in her expression, and suspected those uncertainties tied in to his profession. "Would you believe that working on divorce cases makes me more aware of how difficult it is to make a relationship work? I've felt that way for years, and I've developed an appreciation and respect for my parents' strong marriage. Those traditional values are what I want for myself. With you. And just so you know going into this, I want kids, too." He grinned, knowing that wouldn't be a problem for her at all. Knowing, too, how much fun they'd have making those babies.

A joyful moisture filled her eyes. "A family," she whispered.

"Yeah, a family," he agreed. "One for us to love, and share, and grow old with."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and held him close. "It scares me how much I need you, Ryan," she said after a poignant moment had passed. Her open honesty humbled him. Tangling his fingers in her hair, he gently pulled her back, just enough to look into her eyes. The water lapped between them erotically, her taut nipples brushed against his chest, but Ryan resisted the urge to give in to the tantalizing delights beckoning to them.Soon.

"Hell, Jessie, this is all new to me, too." He smiled in understanding. "I was hoping we could figure out this love and forever thing together."

A shiver passed through her body, and a hint of remorse creased her delicate brows. "You're right, of course. We'll work on it together. I guess old insecurities die hard. Can you forgive me?"

"Ah, sweetheart, there's absolutely nothing to forgive." He caressed a thumb along her frown, making it disappear beneath his touch. "Just say you'll marry me so I'll know you'll always be mine."

A sassy, naughty sparkle suddenly entered her gaze. Sliding intimately closer, she squeezed her knees shamelessly against his hips. "Umm, do you think you couldcoerce me into saying yes?"

He groaned as his erection strained between them. Knowing her innocent request would lead to a thrilling build-up to her ultimate surrender, he played along. "I'll certainly do my best," he drawled, and guided her warm and willing mouth to his.

Her lips parted, soft and welcoming. His tongue dipped and parried and swirled with hers in a slow, deep, rapacious kiss. Beneath the water, he glided his flattened palms up her thighs, until his thumbs parted her slick flesh, stroked rhythmically, and expertly brought her to that exquisite crest.

Stopping his illicit caresses before she fell over the edge, he lifted his head and met her heavy-lidded gaze. "Marry me," he murmured.

Her face was beautifully flushed with arousal and the heat of the water, her breathing heavy. "Maybe," she said huskily, then dampened her lips with her tongue. "I think you need to be more persuasive."

He grinned wickedly, and slanted his mouth possessively over hers. With his hands on her hips, he lifted her, brought her flush against his length, then let her sleek, wet body slowly glide back down his chest, his belly, until his hard, aroused flesh demanded entrance between her silky thighs. She moaned and shuddered, and with excruciating slowness, he impaled her on his shaft, sheathing himself in measured, gradual degrees until he was deep inside her.

He inhaled sharply as she rocked urgently against him, intending to coax him to a quick climax. He stilled her seductive movements with his hands on her waist and struggled for a semblance of control.

"Before I let you take advantage of me like you intend to, I need an answer first," he rasped, trying not to lose himself in the dark desire shimmering in her eyes. The pure adoration. "Be my wife, Jessie. My lover. My best friend."

Framing his face between her hands, she captured his gaze in the romantic candlelight. "Yes," she said without hesitation. "I'll be all those things for you… your wife, your lover, your best friend."

A cocksure grin tipped his mouth. "It's nice to know I haven't lost my touch."

She rolled her eyes at his teasing comment. "Considering all the years ahead of us, I'll make sure you have plenty of practice."

Oh, he didn't doubt her claim for a second. And as he seduced her body with pleasure, and she gave of herself with abandon, he knew he was a lucky man, indeed.