Shopaholic and Sister

Twenty-five

“LEAVE OUR LAND alone!” yells Robin through his loudspeaker.

“Out, out, out!” we all yell back, and I give Jess an exhilarated thumbs-up. If ever I had any doubts about whether I was doing the right thing, they’ve totally vanished. You just have to look around. You just have to see what would be ruined. We’re standing on Piper’s Hill, and it’s the most stunningly beautiful place I’ve ever been. There’s a wood at the top, and wildflowers nestling in the grass, and I’ve already seen about six butterflies. I don’t care if they’re Luke’s clients or not. How could they build a shopping center on this? Especially a rubbish one with no Space.NK!

“Leave our land alone!”

“Out, out, out!” I yell at the top of my voice. Protesting is just the coolest thing I have done, ever! I’m at the top of the hill with Robin, Jim, and Jess, and the sight before us is just amazing. About three hundred people have turned up! They’re marching up the lane toward the proposed site, waving placards, blowing whistles, and banging drums, with two local TV crews and a bunch of journalists in tow.

I keep peering at the crowd, but there’s no sign of anyone from the Arcodas Group — or Luke. Which I’m a tad relieved about. I mean, not that I’m ashamed of being here. Quite the opposite. I am someone who will stand up for her beliefs and fight for the oppressed, no matter what others think. But having said that, if Luke does turn up, I’m thinking I might put on a balaclava and quickly hide behind someone. He’ll never spot me among all these people. It’ll be fine.

“Leave our land alone!”

“Out, out, out!”

Jess is waving her WILDLIFE MURDERERS placard energetically, and blowing on her whistle. Edie and Lorna are wearing fluorescent pink wigs and holding up a huge sign which says KILLING OUR LAND, KILLING OUR COMMUNITY. Suze is in a white T-shirt and army combat trousers, which she pinched from Tarquin, and holding up one of her own banners. And I’m wearing one of Jess’s World Wildlife Fund Tshirts over my D&G cropped jeans. Finally, we’ve swapped clothes like sisters should! (I lent her a black Karen Millen vest top, which she’s wearing under that gray STOP THE CONSUMPTION T-shirt.) The sun is shining, and everyone’s in fantastic spirits.

“Leave our land alone!”

“Out, out, out!”

The crowd is thickening now, and at a little nod from me, Robin puts down his placards and climbs the stepladder we’ve rigged up. There’s a microphone in front of it, and the view of blue sky and unspoiled countryside behind him is breathtaking. The photographer I hired for the occasion kneels down and starts taking photos, and is soon joined by the TV crews and local newspaper photographers.

The crowd gradually quiets down, and everyone turns expectantly toward Robin.

“Friends, supporters, lovers of the countryside,” he begins, his voice echoing in the clear afternoon air. “I ask you all to take a moment and look around at what we have. We have beauty. We have wildlife. We have all we need.”

He pauses for effect, just like I coached him, letting the message sink in. The wind is ruffling his hair, and his face is flushed with animation.

“Do we need a shopping center?”

“No! No! No!” we all yell back at the tops of our voices.

“Do we need pollution?”

“No! No! No!”

“Do we need any more pointless consumerist rubbish? Does anyone need any more”—he casts around derisively—“cushions?”

“No…” I begin with everyone else — then stop myself. I could actually do with some nice cushions for our bed. In fact, I saw some really nice cashmere ones in a magazine only yesterday.

But… that’s OK. Everyone knows activists sometimes disagree on minor technical points. And I agree with everything else Robin is saying. Just not about the cushions.

“Do we want an eyesore on our land?” shouts Robin, spreading his arms.

“No! No! No!” I yell back happily. Jess blows her whistle, and I look at it a bit enviously. Next time I go on a protest, I’m definitely taking a whistle.

“Now let’s hear from another of our activists!” yells Robin, “Becky! Get up here!”

My head jerks up.

What? This wasn’t in the plan.

“The girl who’s held this campaign together!” he says. “The girl whose ideas and spirit have made this happen! Let’s hear it for Becky!”

Everyone is turning toward me with admiring faces. Robin starts applauding, and everyone gradually joins in.

“Go on, Becky,” says Jess, over the noise. “They really want you!”

I do a quick scan around. There’s no sign of Luke.

Oh, come on. I have to show my support.

It’s difficult to walk with my plaster cast, but somehow I hobble through the crowd to the stepladder and carefully climb to the top with Robin’s help. Below me is a sea of excited faces, all looking up in the sunshine.

“Hello, Piper’s Hill!” I yell into the microphone, and an almighty cheer comes back from the crowd, complete with hoots and whistles and frantically beating drums.

God, this is fantastic! It’s like being a pop star!

“This is our country!” I shout, gesturing at the rippling green grass around us. “This is our land! We won’t give it up!”

Another delighted cheer erupts.

“And to anyone who wants us to give it up…” I shout, waving my arms around. “To anyone who thinks they can come and take it away from us… I say this! I say, Go home!”

There’s a third uproarious cheer. I’m totally elated. This seems to come naturally! Maybe I should be a politician!

“I say, give up now!” I yell. “Because we’re going to fight! On the beaches! And on the—”

There’s a slight kerfuffle going on in the crowd, and I break off, trying to see what’s happening.

“They’re coming!” I can hear people shouting.

“Boo!” The whole crowd is hissing and jeering.

“It’s them!” cries Robin, from the grass below. “Bastards! Let ’em have it!”

And suddenly I freeze. Five men in dark suits are making their way swiftly to the front of the crowd.

One of them is Luke.

OK, I think, I need to get down off this ladder. At once.

Except it’s not as easy as that, when one leg is in bloody plaster. I can barely move.

“Er… Robin, I’d like to get down now!” I call.

“You stay there!” shouts Robin. “Carry on with your speech! It’s great!”

I frantically grasp my crutch and am trying to maneuver myself off the top, when Luke looks up and sees me.

I have never seen him so shell-shocked. He stops dead and just stares at me. I can feel my face burning.

Something tells me organizing a protest against your husband’s client has got to be even worse than selling his Tiffany clocks.

“Don’t let the bastards intimidate you, Becky!” Robin hisses urgently from below. “Ignore them! Keep speaking! Go on!”

I’m stuck. There’s nothing else I can do. I clear my throat and focus on Kelly’s enthusiastic face.

“Um… we’re going to fight!” I call out, my voice cracking a bit. “I say… er… go home!”

By now the five men are standing in a row, arms folded, looking up at me. Three men who I don’t recognize, plus Gary and Luke.

The trick is to not look at them.

“Let us keep our land!” I shout, with more confidence. “We don’t want your concrete jungle!”

A huge cheer breaks out, and I can’t help darting a triumphant glance at Luke. His brow is furrowed and he looks furious.

But there’s a twitch at his mouth, too. Almost like he wants to laugh. Our eyes lock, and I have this awful feeling I’m about to start giggling hysterically.

“Give up!” I yell. “Because you won’t win!”

“I’ll go and speak to the ringleader,” Luke says gravely to one of the men I don’t recognize. “See what I can do.”

Calmly he walks across the grass to the stepladder and climbs up three steps until he’s level with me. We’re only inches apart. The breeze is carrying the scent of his aftershave. And now he’s so close, I’m longing to throw my arms around him. I want to tell him how much I missed him. How scared I was on the mountain. How much I love him.

On the other hand, he may not be in the mood for a hug right now.

“Hello,” says Luke at last.

“Oh! Er… hi!” I say as nonchalantly as I can manage. “How are you?”

“Quite a party you have here.” Luke surveys the scene. “Is this all your doing?”

“Er… I had some help.” I clear my throat. “You know how it is… ” I catch my breath as my gaze lands on Luke’s immaculate shirt cuff. Nestling beneath it — only just visible — is a tatty plaited rope bracelet.

I look away quickly, trying to stay cool. We’re on opposing sides here.

“You do realize you’re protesting against a shopping center, Becky?” Luke says.

“With crap shops,” I retort, without missing a beat.

“Don’t negotiate, Becky!” Robin yells from down below.

“Spit in his face!” chimes in Edie, shaking her fist.

“You realize the Arcodas Group is my biggest client,” says Luke. “That has crossed your mind.”

“You wanted me to be more like Jess,” I reply, a little defiantly. “That’s what you said, isn’t it? ‘Be like your sister.’ Well, here you are, then.” I lean forward to the microphone and shout into it, “Go back to London with your fancy ways! Leave us in peace!”

The crowd erupts in an approving cheer.

“Go back to London with my fancy ways?” echoes Luke in disbelief. “What about your fancy ways?”

“I don’t have any fancy ways,” I say haughtily. “I’ve changed, if you want to know. I’m really frugal. And I care about the countryside. And evil developers coming and ruining beauty spots like this.”

Luke leans forward and whispers in my ear, “Actually… they’re not planning to build a shopping center on this site.”

“What?” I look up with a frown. “Yes, they are.”

“No, they’re not. They changed their plans weeks ago. They’re using another site. In fact, they’re redeveloping an existing office complex.”

I search his face suspiciously. He doesn’t look like he’s lying.

“But… the plans,” I say. “We’ve got plans!”

“Old.” He raises his eyebrows. “Someone didn’t do their research properly.” He glances down at Robin. “Him, by any chance?”

Oh God. That actually has the ring of truth.

I can’t quite take this in. They’re not planning to build a shopping center here after all. We’re all here, shouting and yelling… for no reason.

“So.” Luke folds his arms. “Despite your extremely convincing publicity campaign, the Arcodas Group are not in fact villains. They have done nothing wrong.”

“Oh, right.” I shift awkwardly and glance past Luke at the three scowling Arcodas Group men. “So… I don’t suppose they’re very pleased, are they?”

“Not exactly,” agrees Luke.

“Er… sorry about that.” I sweep my eyes over the restive crowd. “So I suppose you want me to tell them. Is that it?”

Luke tugs his earlobe, the way he always does when he’s got a plan.

“Well,” he says. “As it happens, I have a better idea. Since you have helpfully gathered all this media together…”

He takes hold of the microphone, swivels to face the crowd, and taps it for attention. There’s an answering roar of boos and hisses. Even Suze is shaking her banner at him.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Luke says in his deep, confident voice. “Members of the press. I have an announcement to make on behalf of the Arcodas Group.”

He waits patiently until the jeers have died down, then looks around the crowd.

“We at the Arcodas Group are passionate about people. We are passionate about listening. We are the company that takes notice. I have spoken to your representative”—he indicates me—“and I have taken in all her arguments.”

There’s an expectant hush. Everyone is gazing up at him, agog.

“As a result of this… I can announce that the Arcodas Group has reconsidered the use of this site.” Luke smiles. “There will be no shopping center here.”

There’s a moment of stunned silence — then overjoyed pandemonium breaks out. Everyone’s cheering and hugging each other, whistles are blowing, and drums are being beaten to death.

“We did it!” I hear Jim yelling above the clamor.

“We showed them!” shrieks Kelly.

Jess is cheering along with everyone else, although she keeps darting looks of suspicion toward me and Luke. I’ll have to fill her in later on.

“I would also like to draw your attention to the huge number of environmental initiatives which the Arcodas Group sponsors,” Luke says smoothly into the microphone. “Leaflets are currently being handed out. And press packs. Enjoy.”

Hang on a minute. He’s totally turning this into a positive PR event. He’s hijacked it!

“You snake!” I say furiously, putting my hand over the microphone. “You completely misled them!”

“The field is saved.” He shrugs. “The rest is details, surely.”

“No! That’s not the—”

“If your crew had done their research in the first place, we wouldn’t be here and I wouldn’t have to be saving the situation.” He leans down and calls to Gary, who’s been handing out literature to the crowd. “Gary, see the Arcodas folk into their car, will you? Tell them I’m staying on for some further negotiating work.”

Gary nods, and gives me a cheery wave, which I choose to ignore. I’m still outraged with them both.

“So… where is the shopping center being built?” I demand as I watch the rejoicing crowd. Kelly and Jess are hugging each other, Jim is clapping Robin on the back, and Edie and Lorna are waving their pink wigs in the air.

“Why?”

“Maybe I’ll go and protest outside it. Maybe I should start following the Arcodas Group around and making trouble! Keep you on your toes.”

“Maybe you should,” says Luke with a wry smile. “Becky, look, I’m sorry. But I have to do my job.”

“I know, I suppose. But… I thought I was making a difference. I really thought I’d achieved something.” I heave a morose sigh. “And it was all for nothing.”

“For nothing?” says Luke, incredulous. “Becky… just take a look at what you’ve done.” He gestures at the throng. “Look at all these people. I’ve heard how you transformed the campaign. Not to mention the village… and this party you’re throwing… You should be proud of yourself. Hurricane Becky, they’re calling you.”

“What, I leave a trail of devastation everywhere?”

Luke looks at me, suddenly serious, his eyes warm and dark. “You blow people away. Everyone you meet.” He picks up my hand and looks at it for a moment. “Don’t be like Jess. Be like you.”

“But you said…” I begin, then stop myself.

“What?”

Oh God. I was going to be all grown-up and dignified and not mention this. But I just can’t help it.

“I overheard you talking to Jess,” I mumble. “When she was staying with us. I heard you say… it was difficult to live with me.”

“It is difficult to live with you,” says Luke matter-of-factly.

I blink at him, my throat a little tight.

“It’s also enriching. It’s exciting. It’s fun. It’s the only thing I want to do. If it were easy… it would be boring.” He touches my cheek. “Life with you is an adventure, Becky.”

“Becky!” calls Suze from below. “The party’s starting! Hi, Luke!”

“Come on,” Luke says, and kisses me. Over his shoulder I see Edie nudging Lorna and pointing to us, agog. God, I’m going to have to put them all straight. Otherwise they’ll think I’ve been unfaithful to my husband with the evil Arcodas man.

“Let’s get you off this ladder.” Luke’s strong fingers weave round mine, and I squeeze them back.

“By the way, what did you mean just now when you said you were frugal?” he asks as he helps me edge down the steps. “Was it a joke?”

“No! I’m frugal! Jess taught me. Like Yoda.”

“What exactly did she teach you?” says Luke, looking a bit wary.

“How to make a water sprinkler out of a milk carton,” I say proudly. “And gift wrap out of old plastic bags. Also, you should always write a birthday card in pencil so the person can rub out your message and use it again. It saves ninety pence!”

Luke looks at me wordlessly for a few moments.

“I think I need to get you back to London,” he says at last, then helps me down the stepladder, holding my crutch under his arm. “Danny called, by the way.”

“Danny called?” In my excitement I miss the last step of the ladder. As I land on the grass, everything goes a little swirly.

“Ooh!” I clutch on to Luke. “I’m all dizzy.”

“Are you OK?” says Luke in alarm. “Is it the concussion? You shouldn’t have been climbing ladders… ”

“It’s all right,” I say, a little breathless. “I’ll sit down.”

“God, I always used to get like that!” says Suze, passing by. “When I was pregnant.”

Everything seems to empty from my mind.

I dart a startled glance at Luke. He looks equally jolted.

No. I mean… I couldn’t…

I couldn’t be—

All of a sudden my brain is doing frantic sums. I haven’t even thought about… But the last time I… it must have been… It’s been at least…

Oh my God.

“Becky?” says Luke in a strange voice.

“Um… Luke…”

I take a deep breath, trying to keep cool.

OK. Don’t panic. Do not panic…

WEST CUMBRIA BANK

45 STERNDALE STREET

COGGENTHWAITE

CUMBRIA

Ms Jessica Bertram

12 Hill Rise

Scully

Cumbria CA19 1BD

12 June 2003

Dear Ms Bertram,

I was surprised to see today that a sum of one thousand pounds has been taken from your account.

This is most unusual activity for your account and for this reason I am contacting you to ensure that a mistake has not been made.

Yours sincerely,

Howard Shawcross

Customer Account Manager

WEST CUMBRIA BANK

45 STERNDALE STREET

COGGENTHWAITE

CUMBRIA

Ms Jessica Bertram

12 Hill Rise

Scully

Cumbria CA19 1 BD

22 June 2003

Dear Ms Bertram,

I was shocked and grieved by the tone of your last letter.

I do “have a life” as you put it.

Yours sincerely,

Howard Shawcross

Customer Account Manager

Rebecca Brandon

37 Maida Vale Mansions

Maida Vale

London NW6 0YF

Manager

Harvey Nichols

109Ð125 Knightsbridge

London SW1X 7RJ

25 June 2003

Dear Sir,

I am doing a piece of hypothetical research. I was wondering whether it is true that if you give birth in Harvey Nichols (accidentally, of course!) you are entitled to free clothes for life.

I would be very grateful if you could let me know.

Obviously, as I have mentioned, this is a completely hypothetical inquiry.

Yours sincerely,

Rebecca Brandon (née Bloomwood)