Sierra City

"Thanks for asking. There aren't a lot of opportunities for dinner out around here."

"Well, here, let me pour you a glass of wine. Or would you rather have something else?" Jessie offered.

"Wine's okay."

"And you can take your bottle back with you. I think I have plenty."

Chris followed Jessie onto the deck. Two wooden chairs, identical to her own, were waiting and she sat, stretching her legs out.

"Nice evening, isn't it?"

"Yes. Nice," Chris agreed. "It was a busy day. This time of year, everyone is trying to cram in as many weekends as possible before winter."

"Have you been here long?" Jessie asked.

"Just since summer. I transferred from Yosemite when they opened up a full-time SAR here... ah, search and rescue," Chris clarified.

"So I guess you are pretty much on your own then."

"Well, I've known the manager here, Roger Hamilton, for years."

Chris did not miss the surprised look that crossed Jessie's face and she had to stop herself from tossing out Annie's name as well. If for no other reason, Jessie was still Jennifer Parker to her.

"How nice," Jessie murmured.

They sat in silence, both looking out towards the woods, lost in thought. Before long, the owls started calling and Jessie smiled.

"There," she said softly. "Every night I wait for them."

Chris laughed quietly. "So does Dillon."

"Who?"

"My cat. He's terrified of them. He sits in the window while I'm on the deck and his eyes get so big every time they call. I think he's afraid they're going to swoop down and carry him away."

Jessie frowned at her words. "Where do you live?"

Chris pointed towards the trees. "Number eight."

"You're kidding?" Jessie laughed, then nodded. "So, you're the one that likes piano music?"

"Sorry. It relaxes me after a busy day. I didn't realize it carried this far."

"No, it's okay. I liked it."

They sat there with the dark approaching, not speaking, just listening to the quiet. Chris wondered at Jessie's subdued demeanor this evening. She was being polite and friendly, but the teasing, flirting woman Chris had first met was absent. Chris wondered if the mention of Roger's name had thrown Jessie into a tailspin. Chris was about to speak when the timer on the oven disturbed the silence.

"Good. I'm starving," Jessie said.

She got up, leaving Chris to follow. Jessie's empty wineglass stood on the counter and Chris filled both hers and Jessie's and carried them to the table.

"I had to really put an effort into dinner, you know. I've never cooked for a vegetarian before."

"Can't be that hard," Chris said.

Jessie laughed. "You don't cook, do you, McKenna?"

"Not much, no."

"How do you make it out here without cooking? It's not like there are fine restaurants on every corner."

"Well, I eat an awful lot of pasta."

Jessie laughed again. "Guess what's for dinner?"

Chris sat while Jessie lit a candle and placed it between them. A plate of steaming pasta and vegetable casserole followed. Chris bent over her plate and inhaled, smiling as the scent of garlic reached her nose.

"Garlic," Jessie said unnecessarily. "It's on the bread, too, so I hope you don't have a hot date after dinner. You'll run them off."

"A date? In Sierra City?" Chris chuckled. "Not hardly."

"Oh, surely there are lots of eligible... people here."

Chris noticed the hesitation and took her cue. "A few eligible men, yes. But if I desire female company, I have to go to Sacramento."

"And do you?"

"Go to Sacramento?"

"Desire female company?"

Chris grinned. "On occasion, I do both."

Their eyes held for a moment and just when Chris saw Jessie's dark eyes begin to soften, Jessie pulled them away, instead motioning to Chris's plate.

"Well? What do you think?"

Chris took a bite and grinned. "Mmm. Excellent."

"Good."

Chris broke into the garlic bread, tearing off a piece as butter ran down her fingers. Without thinking, she brought her hand to her mouth, licking the butter off a knuckle. She looked up and found Jessie watching. Their eyes locked again for a brief second and this time it was Chris who pulled away.

Apparently all those nights of reading J. T. Stone's books and fantasizing over her picture on the back had caught up with her. For the first time since meeting Jessie Stone, Chris had permitted her attraction to a damn picture to surface. As she had told herself on numerous occasions, Jessie Stone was no woman she wanted to get involved with. Having hot uninhibited sex, now that was another matter.

Chris blushed at her thoughts and shoved another bite into her mouth. Perhaps on her next weekend off, she would go into Sacramento and hit the bars and try to curb her suddenly aroused libido.

She fished for something to get the conversation flowing and decided to get a little personal. Maybe she could find out something about Jessie's personal life, something she might be able to share with Annie.

"Where are you from, Jennifer?"

Jessie looked up, apparently surprised at the question or maybe the name, Chris wasn't sure which.

"New York City," she finally said. "I'll be here another week or so."

"Well, you're a long way from the East Coast. Just vacationing or did you come to California on business?" Even to her own ears, the question sounded forced.

"I'm sort of between jobs," Jessie offered.

Chris nodded. "Do you like it here?"

"Very much. I jog Elk Meadow every morning. I've been to Ridge Trail and now Lake Trail," she said. "It's been very relaxing."

On impulse and quite without thinking, Chris heard herself speak.

"I'm off tomorrow and Monday. I was thinking of hiking into the backcountry and camping out. I would love company."

Jessie put her elbows on the table and cradled her chin.

"That sounds like fun. Are you sure you're up to babysitting a city girl out there?"

"I may be wrong, but you hardly look like a city girl. I've seen you out there, remember. Fly fishing?"

Jessie shrugged. "Anyone can take lessons." Then she leaned closer. "Maybe I was trying to impress you."

"And you certainly did." As their eyes held, Chris felt herself drifting into dangerous territory. If it were a game of seduction they were about to play, Chris would most definitely lose. Even now, she felt herself sinking deeper into the dark depths of Jessie's eyes.

It was with difficulty that she pulled away. One deep breath and a sip of wine later, Chris was able to again focus. "So, camping? You up fork?"

Jessie visibly relaxed, leaning back in her chair and twirling her wineglass slowly between her fingers. Chris relaxed, too and moved far enough away from the table to rest her ankle across one knee.

"I don't have a backpack or sleeping bag," Jessie said.

"I have a small pack you can borrow. And a sleeping bag, I'm sure I can round one up."

"In the morning? Early?"

"Well, not at the crack of dawn, but we should be on the trails by nine o'clock. The place I'm thinking of is about a six-hour hike. That'll give us time to set up camp and explore around a bit before dark."

Jessie smiled, excitement showing in her dark eyes. "Sounds like fun. Where should I meet you?"

"I'll pick you up and we'll go to the trailhead from here. I'll bring the food. Nothing fancy, though. Freeze-dried."

Chris left before ten, after they had finished the wine but before they opened another bottle. It had been a pleasant evening, Chris admitted. And the prospect of a camping trip excited her. She fished between the seats and found her cell phone, quickly punching out Bobby's number at the lodge.

"Are you asleep?"

"McKenna? No. What's wrong?"

Chris laughed. Bobby was always on duty. "Nothing. I need a favor," she said.

"Oh? Need me to cover for you tomorrow?"

"I'm off tomorrow," she said.

"I didn't think you took your days off, McKenna. Roger says you're there practically every day."

"Maybe I haven't had anything else to do before. Now, I need a sleeping bag."

"Now?"

"First thing in the morning."

"Why?"

"Why do you think? I sleep in."

"You have one."

Chris sighed. She should have called Matt. She would be off the phone by now. "Maybe I'm taking a friend with me," she offered.

"Really? Who?"

"Jesus Christ, Bobby! Can I borrow the goddamned sleeping bag or not?"

"Okay, okay. Come by in the morning."

"Thank you."

She tossed the phone back between the seats. She would be lost up here without Bobby, but sometimes he could be a pain in the ass.

Jessie opened another bottle of wine anyway. She pulled on a sweatshirt and sat out on the deck, her eyes going immediately to the sky. The owls were no longer calling and it was very quiet, not even a hint of a breeze to stir the trees. The days were still warm but as the calendar marched through September, the nights warned of the winter to come. Jessie was almost sorry she wouldn't be here. She could envision nights by the fire while the snow fell outside.

She glanced to the trees, wondering if Chris had made it home. Jessie liked her. Liked her a lot. For the first time in many many years, she actually felt like she was forming a friendship with someone and she wasn't exactly sure how to proceed. Chris wasn't someone to be played with, that was for sure. Unfortunately, Jessie had made a career out of playing with people's feelings. She was very good at it. But Chris... she was different. If Jessie were the spiritual type, she would think that there was a reason for Chris's presence in her life. She had never let anyone in before, but she had a sudden urge to cleanse herself by pouring out all the sordid details of her life. And not to someone who was paid to listen to her. What would it be like to talk to a friend? I tell a friend about past hurts? To share the joy of her childhood? And the devastation of her father's death?

But she sighed. Not exactly a great start on a friendship, using an alias. And Chris knew Roger Hamilton. Now that was a name from the past. Had he been here all these years? If anyone were to recognize her, it would be Mr. Hamilton. Now she would definitely avoid the ranger station. The last thing she wanted was a stroll down memory lane with Roger Hamilton.

Chapter Thirteen

It was nearly ten by the time they signed in at the trailhead. Picking up the sleeping bag had taken longer than expected. Bobby had been full of questions and not in the least bit concerned with the time. Then, on impulse, Chris had stopped at Ellen's to pick up a freeze-dried dinner for Jessie. The meatless ones she had at her cabin weren't exactly her favorites anyway, so Chris thought it would be rude to subject a meat eater to them.

They headed up the mountain, taking the South Rim Trail. Jessie had packed lightly and the one change of clothes, jacket, and few toiletries easily fit into the small pack Chris had brought for her. They were dressed identically in shorts and T-shirts, both of their sweatshirts having been shed shortly after making the first steep hill on the trail.

Jessie was in excellent shape and kept pace with Chris almost effortlessly. She occasionally asked Chris the names of certain trees and shrubs, but mostly they talked of other hiking trips they had been on. Jessie admitted that she had not been in the woods since high school.

Chris raised her eyebrows questioningly.

"I'm thirty-three," Jessie said with a grin. "You?"

"The same." Hadn't Annie told her Jessie's birthday was in the fall? "When's your birthday?"

Jessie's lips twitched, then she finally grinned. "Soon."

"Soon?" Chris nodded. "In other words, none of my business?"

Jessie shrugged. She couldn't remember the last time she had actually acknowledged her birthday. It was a time her father had always made special for her. There was never a birthday cake from her mother, but her father would somehow produce one, throwing an impromptu party at the ranger station, balloons and all. October 10. It never failed to come around, but she wished she could forget. She had such happy memories of her childhood. Why was she always so sad when she thought of them?

"Hey."

"Hmm?"

"Okay?" Chris asked.

Jessie shrugged again. "Just thinking."

Chris nodded but said nothing. It would do no good for her to bring anything up now. Instead, she hiked on, leaving Jessie alone with her thoughts. Annie would absolutely kill her if she ever found out Jessie was here and Chris had kept it from her.

At twelve-thirty, they were getting close to timberline and the rim of the mountain. The views had changed dramatically. No longer were the spruce and pines blocking the surrounding mountain range. Now the terrain turned rugged. Large outcroppings of rocks littered the mountainside and Chris chose a flat one to sit. Jessie laid her pack next to Chris's and stretched her back before sitting on an adjacent rock.

"Lunch?"

"I'm starving," Jessie said. She took a deep breath, finally letting her eyes settle on the view. "God," she whispered. "It's beautiful."

Chris smiled and nodded. "Sure is." Then she pointed to her right. "There's a trail off of the South Rim that goes up a little higher and hits the ridge of the next mountain. You can see Lake Tahoe from there."

Jessie nodded, remembering. Her father had taken her up there once. It was a difficult hike for her at the time, but the view had been worth it.

Chris watched a range of emotions cross Jessie's face but said nothing. She still had no idea why Jessie was back in Sierra City, but maybe this little camping trip would make her open up some.

After their light lunch of cheese, crackers, and an apple, they hiked another three miles before Chris left the trail and followed a stream down a canyon a short ways.

"As a backpacker, you're never supposed to get off the trail," Chris said with a grin.

"But you know a spot?"

"A little flat area beside the stream, just before it cascades over the mountain as a waterfall. Great views from there."

Jessie nodded. She knew the exact spot. Another little secret that her father had shared with her.

"How did you find it?" she finally asked.

Chris shrugged and stopped, balancing on a boulder in the middle of the stream.

"I like to hike along the streams, hop rocks, get my feet wet," she said and laughed as she nearly fell in. "I love the sound of water," she added. "I just found it by accident, really."

"Tell anyone?"

"Are you kidding? Just you."

"Good."

Their eyes locked for a moment, both breaking into slow smiles. Then Jessie followed Chris along the rocks, laughing good-naturedly when she slipped and dunked one boot into the cold water up to her ankle.

They were silent as they followed the stream and before long, Chris loosened her pack and laid it away from the rocks in dry spruce needles. She motioned for Jessie to follow. They walked on, the roar of the falls making its presence known.

Jessie let her mind drift back, remembering the time her father had shown her this place. Their secret place, he had said. They would sneak off and make sure no one followed them, then pitch their tent where they could sit and watch the sun as it fell behind the horizon, listening to the sound of the falls. She wondered if Chris knew there was a trail going down to the falls. You could walk all the way down and stand behind the cascading water. Jessie remembered sticking her face into the cold spray, afraid she would be knocked down by its force, but her father had been there, holding her.

Chris watched Jessie now, saw the small smile touch her then disappear just as quickly. She wondered what it was Jessie was thinking of.

Jessie let out a sigh and shook herself, warding off... something. She finally let her eyes slip back to Chris and met her curious gaze.

"It's beautiful here."

Chris held her eyes a moment longer. For a second, Chris was certain those dark eyes had opened to her, revealed some deep truth. Then they closed again, the same mysterious dark gaze that Jessie normally fixed her with securely in place.

"Yeah. This is one of my favorite spots."

Chris walked to the edge where the stream sloped downward before disappearing over the side of the mountain and looked out over the distant canyons, the peaks rising up beyond them in the west. It was a clear afternoon, still warm for early September. The nights had been getting cooler, hinting of autumn, but the days remained warm and cloudless.

There was no sign of a previous campfire, no charred rocks to mark a spot and Jessie watched as Chris gathered some rocks now and cleared an area. One of the rocks that Chris picked up was black on the bottom. Apparently, Chris dismantled the fire ring when she left, leaving no sign that she had been there. Just like her father used to do. Jessie shrugged off the depression that threatened and went about gathering small twigs to start their fire. There was a fallen pine nearby and she broke off larger limbs and hauled them over to the fire ring, breaking them with her foot and stacking them neatly in a pile.

They set up the small tent and took out the sleeping bags, then Jessie surprised Chris by pulling a bottle of wine out of her backpack.

"You packed that?" Chris grinned. "Weren't too concerned about weight, were you?"

"And aren't you glad?" Jessie asked. "Or do you want to have coffee with your dinner?"

Chris laughed. "Tell you what. I'll share my tent if you share your wine."

"Hardly a fair trade, seeing as it's not raining." Jessie clutched the bottle to her chest and raised an eyebrow seductively. "You'll have to do better."

"Okay. I think I have a sleeping bag to bargain with."

Jessie seemed to consider this, her eyes raised into the trees. Then she looked back at Chris, her eyes twinkling with delight.

"Sleeping bag for half my wine? Okay, McKenna, I accept."

Chris nodded, enjoying the unexpected playfulness. By the look on Jessie's face, she was enjoying it too. They worked in silence again, Jessie breaking up sticks for the fire and Chris laying out the few cooking utensils and pots she had brought along.

"I think I'm going to hike the stream a bit," Chris said.

"Go ahead," Jessie said. "I brought a book." She pulled out a worn paperback and waved it at Chris. "I'll just sit and relax."

"Okay. I won't be gone long."

Chris walked back the way they had come, hopping across the rocks until she came to the trail. She crossed over and picked up the stream on the other side. She had been camping here twice before and both times had intended on exploring upstream but had ended up perched on a rock overlooking the falls and canyon. She thought this time she would leave the view and solitude to Jessie. She had lightened up since the first couple of encounters and Chris was beginning to enjoy her company. She wanted nothing more than to confront Jessie with her true identity, to talk about Annie, to find out why she was back, but Chris admitted that it really wasn't any of her business. And if Jessie wanted to be Jennifer Parker for a few days and escape from her real life, who was Chris to haul her back to reality?

She stopped after nearly a half-hour, the trees casting long shadows over the stream as the sun was sinking lower. If she were to catch the sunset, she would have to hurry.

She found Jessie leaning against a rock, book held opened in her lap, but she was looking out over the canyon.

"You're back," she said. She lazily moved her head to glance at Chris, a sleepy smile on her face.

"How's the book?"

Jessie shrugged. "One of those self-help books. Mostly bullshit," she said.

Chris laughed at the sincerity of Jessie's words.

"So you took a nap instead?"

Jessie grinned. "This crap always puts me to sleep." She motioned to the sky. "I was afraid you were going to miss the show."

"Of course not. That's why we're here."

The sun made its way over the ridge, far to the west, shooting oranges and reds their way. Jessie opened the bottle of wine and they each poured some in their drinking cups. They sat against the rock, quietly watching the sun fall from view, their eyes filling with the deep colors of sunset, the western sky aglow as a brilliant burgundy shot through the few low-hanging clouds before fading to a quiet pink. Overhead, the cedars and pines whispered their secrets as the wind caressed the branches and carried scented air into their faces.

Jessie couldn't imagine a sight more beautiful. The colors were even more splendid than she remembered and she shut her eyes for a moment, trying to forever burn it in her memory.

She felt Chris watching her even before she opened her eyes. A faint rosy haze remained where the sun had been only moments ago and she turned to Chris, their eyes locking in the last light a day.

"Beautiful," Jessie whispered

"Yes, very."

"Thank you for letting me share that with you."

Chris's smile was as soft and unhurried as the sunset had been and Jessie felt herself being pulled into those blue eyes. Unfamiliar feelings washed over her and she didn't know what to make of her rapidly beating pulse or the difficult time she had catching her breath. She let her eyes slip briefly to Chris's mouth, wondering if her lips were as soft as they looked.

Chris pulled her eyes away, silently acknowledging the growing attraction between them. She wondered if her attraction was simply a result of finally giving life to a picture on the back of a book. Chris still wasn't certain that she liked Jessie Stone, but she suspected she had yet to meet all of her.

She moved away, leaving Jessie staring after the long-gone sun. She started the fire easily, then put water on to boil for their dinner. With the dark came the chill of night and Chris moved into the tent, stripping off her shorts and pulling on an old, comfortable pair of sweats and bulky sweatshirt.

Jessie did the same, taking the small flashlight from Chris's hand. When she came out of the tent, she was holding up toilet paper.

"Gonna take a trip to the woods," Jessie said shyly.

Chris nodded. "Don't go far."

"Don't worry. If you hear me scream ..."

"I'll come running," Chris assured her. She watched the light flash into the woods as Jessie disappeared behind a spruce. A short time later, Jessie came back, discreetly tossing her toilet paper into the fire.

"Much better," she said.

Chris watched as Jessie sat cross-legged on the ground close to the fire. She added more wine to each of their cups and handed one up to Chris.

"Thanks."

They ate dinner in relative silence, sharing thoughts occasionally, but mostly content to listen to the crackle of the fire and the sounds of the forest as it came alive after dark.

Jessie washed up their few dishes in the stream and Chris got the fire going again, adding some of the larger limbs Jessie had collected earlier. They sat down across from each other, with the leaping flames the only barrier between them. Jessie held up the wine bottle.

"Enough for one more each, I think."

"It was an excellent idea," Chris said. "Not exactly practical," she added.

Jessie waved her off. "Backpackers have too many rules. A quick up and down trip, there's absolutely no reason a good bottle of wine can't be brought along."

"Had you been packing in the equipment, you might not have wanted the extra weight."

Jessie leaned forward. "But I wasn't. That's what I brought you along for."

Chris laughed. Jessie's eyes sparkled across from her. Maybe that was why her next words nearly caused Chris to choke.

"You're extremely cute, McKenna. You know that, right?"

"Cute?"

"Extremely cute," Jessie corrected.

"Well, I... thanks," Chris stammered, hoping Jessie could not see her blush.

"Not beautiful or anything like that, McKenna. I don't want you to get a big head," she teased.

"I'll try to keep the swelling down," Chris murmured.

Jessie let her gaze slide from Chris into the fire. Maybe a pick-up line in another life, but she meant it sincerely now. Not only did she find Chris attractive, she liked her. And she couldn't remember the last time she had thought that about another person. She covered the smile on her face with her hand, amused at her own thoughts. She could pick up a stranger in a bar in two minutes and be inside her panties in five. She had practically hit Chris over the head and still she showed no interest in Jessie at all.

Well, that wasn't entirely true. Chris's blue eyes weren't exactly expressionless and Jessie knew when another woman found her attractive. She just wasn't used to the wariness that Chris showed. Didn't matter anyway. Why ruin what was turning out to be an interesting friendship? A friendship might be something they could carry with them. Anything else, and Jessie would run.

"Ah... Jennifer?"

Jennifer? Jessie mentally shook herself. When you used an alias, it helped if you remembered the name.

"How long are you going to be vacationing here?"

Jessie shrugged. She should just tell Chris the truth. She didn't know why she was using a damn alias anyway. If her purpose was to see Annie, what did she care if anyone noticed?

Chris watched the questions fly across Jessie's face, wondering what decision she was coming to, what lie she would tell Chris next.

"Like I said, I'm between jobs, so I'm not really in a hurry. I haven't decided yet."

Chris nodded and held Jessie's eyes in the firelight. She dared her to look away.

"Tell me about yourself," Chris suggested.

"Why?"

"Because I want to know."

"Just like that?" Jessie gave a nervous laugh. "Just because you want to know, I'm supposed to tell you?"

Chris leaned forward, still holding Jessie's eyes captive.

"Yes."

The silence continued as Jessie felt words form and threaten to spill. She fought with herself over what to tell Chris, if anything. It would be so much simpler to pretend to be Jennifer Parker who was between jobs, and not some deranged author named J. T. Stone.

Chris watched Jessie's face, saw the shadows cross it in the soft light of the fire. She could let it go, she knew, but she sensed Jessie's need to talk, even if Jessie didn't. And besides, she'd had quite enough of Jennifer Parker.

"Tell me... Jessie," she whispered.

Jessie drew a sharp breath. Had she been standing, she was certain her legs would have failed her.

"How ... how did you know?"

Chris gave a half smile. "I have your books."

"Fuck," Jessie said. "Well, I feel foolish."

"You could tell me you're just a celebrity looking for privacy, thus the name change," Chris suggested.

Jessie laughed. "Hardly a celebrity."

Chris added a couple of logs to the fire while she allowed Jessie to collect herself. Now it was her turn to keep secrets. Jessie had no need to know that she and Annie were friends. No need to know that Chris already knew everything about her childhood.

"I grew up around here," Jessie admitted after taking a deep breath. "A lifetime ago."

"Tell me."

"Even if I wanted to talk about it, I wouldn't know where to begin," Jessie said.

"Why don't you want to talk about it?"

Jessie leaned forward. "There are some things you just don't talk about."

"Why?"

"Why? What kind of question is that? I hate that word."

"Okay. No questions, then. Tell me about your life when you lived here."

Jessie grinned. "Why?"

It was Chris's turn to lean forward. "Why? I hate that word." She nudged Jessie with her shoulder. "Tell me about growing up here. Please?"

Jessie gave a small laugh, finally giving in. "Okay. Fine." Jessie stared into the fire, remembering. "I had a lovely childhood. As seen through the eyes of a child, anyway. It was pretty pathetic when I think about it now. I grew up out here in the mountains and my father took me everywhere. He was a ranger right here in Sierra City," she explained. "He took me camping and hiking and fishing. Everywhere he went, I tagged along. I was happy."

"What about your mother?" Chris asked.

"I had a mother in name only," Jessie said bitterly.

"What do you mean?"

"She lived in the same house as us, but she was like a stranger. We didn't talk, really. She and Jack didn't exactly have the ideal marriage. She wouldn't even share a bedroom with him. They seldom spoke to one another."

"Jack? You always call him that?"

Jessie shrugged. "He didn't like me calling him Dad."

Chris raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

"I... worshiped him. He was my best friend. My only friend. I went everywhere with him, did everything with him." Jessie looked through the fire at Chris. "He died when I was still here. Seventeen."

"I'm sorry," Chris murmured.

Jessie shrugged again. "A long time ago. I left shortly after he died. I couldn't stand being here with her." Jessie stared into the fire, remembering. "I went to San Francisco, got a job, started college. Writing was just an outlet at the beginning. I never thought I'd actually make a living at it."

"So you're here... visiting?"

Jessie laughed. "Hardly. My therapist says I've got unresolved issues that I need to work through."

"And are you?"

Jessie smiled. "Working through them? Not yet."

Chris pressed on. "So you're not here visiting... you're just what? Going back in time?"

"She's still here," Jessie said quietly.

Chris said nothing. It was the most difficult thing she could remember doing, but she kept her words to herself.

"I'm a good listener," she offered instead.

Jessie gave a small laugh. "I've paid a fortune over the years and here you are offering a freebie."

"Still an offer."

Jessie let out a heavy sigh. The rehearsed words she'd said over and over again in therapists' offices wouldn't come. Instead, she said something she'd not yet put words to herself.

"I'm scared to be here."

"Scared?"

"Terrified. I didn't even realize it until now," she said quietly, her words taken away with the breeze.

Chris moved around the fire and sat next to Jessie, their knees touching lightly as she settled beside her. Jessie's amused smile and quick nudge with her shoulder surprised her.

"I'm not scared of the dark, McKenna."

"I just..."

Jessie's hand reached out and squeezed Chris's thigh.

"No. Stay."

Chris relaxed, trying to ignore the burning of her skin where Jessie's hand still rested. "What are you scared of?"

Jessie searched the blue eyes across from her. She saw understanding, compassion, concern. Things she wasn't used to seeing. Not even when she paid for it.

"I don't know what it is. I feel like there's something here, something watching me maybe. I don't know," Jessie said, her voice turning almost to a whisper.

"Let's talk, then," Chris suggested. "Your therapist told you to come back. It's been what? Sixteen years you said? Why now?"

"To see her. Annie Stone."

"Your mother," Chris stated.

"She gave birth to me," Jessie said. "She was never my mother."

Chris had to bite her lower lip to keep her words to herself. She knew that soon, she would be getting in over her head.

"You said you did everything with your father but nothing with her," Chris prompted.

"For as long as I can remember, it was always him. I mean, Chris, I have no memories of her at all, other than just this figure in the house. As a kid, it was just him. Hiking, camping, dinner. Everything was with him."

"As a kid? What about when you got older?"

"Older?"

"Yeah. Like a teenager."

Jessie stared into the fire, trying to remember. Her memories were always so vivid, like it was only yesterday. But in her memories, she was always a child.

Did they still camp? Fish? Had she still followed him around? She must have. So why couldn't she remember?

"Jessie?"

"I don't... I don't remember," she whispered. "I can tell you about my eighth birthday. My ninth." She rubbed her eyes, a headache suddenly forming. "I remember... I remember camping. We would hike for miles, it seemed. I was always so tired when we got back. I remember riding my bike from the house to the ranger station, I must have been all often."

"And at that age, your mother just let you do as you please?"

Jessie laugh was bitter, short. "Let me? Like I asked her? Chris, she wasn't a part of my life. She was just this silent figure in the house. She never really talked to me, you know."

"Did you talk to her?"

Jessie thought back, trying to remember a time they had actually talked about something tangible. The few times Annie had tried to discipline her, teach her something, Jessie had simply run to her father and that was that.

"I just remember silence. There was always a feeling of resentment there," Jessie said.

Chris frowned. "Resentment? By your mother? Or you?"

Resentment by Annie, of course, Jessie was about to say. But... why did Jessie carry that feeling with her all these years? Yes, she resented her mother... Annie. But why? For not being a mother?

"I've always blamed her for his death."

"Why?"

"He fell off of Ridge Trail into the canyon."

"Why do you blame her?" Chris prompted.

Jessie sighed. She was getting weary of this discussion. Chris's questions were becoming too much like Dr. Davies's questions and soon Jessie would revert to the practiced lies she'd told all her therapists over the years. It was just so much easier than delving into the truth. A rotten truth, she suspected.

"Jessie?"

"I'm tired. How about a walk? The moon's nearly full."

Chris nodded, instinctively knowing that Jessie had reached her limit for the night. "Sure. We can walk back along the stream, might see some wildlife."

Jessie grinned. "As long as it's not something that'll want to eat us."

"Have no fear... SAR is here," Chris teased.

Jessie took Chris's offered hand and let herself be pulled to her feet. She didn't release the warm hand holding her own. Instead, she leaned closer.

"Well, I feel completely safe now."

The sudden jolt of desire caught Chris completely off guard. Jessie was too near, her lips far too tempting in the moonlight. Only inches separated them and Chris fought with herself to close the gap, to take what was obviously being offered.

Jessie captured Chris's eyes, watching as warring emotions crossed her face. It would be so easy, she thought. Just a little more temptation, a little more teasing. Then what? Another conquest?

Jessie finally pulled her eyes away. She didn't want a conquest tonight. Instead, she squeezed Chris's hand and smiled gently.

"Come on, McKenna. Show me the sights."

It was with difficulty that Chris dropped the warm hand clasping her own. She broke up the fire, then brushed away any pine needles that were too close. The embers would catch easily enough when they returned. Then she rummaged in her pack and found the small flashlight. She shoved it into the front pocket of her sweats before motioning with a slight toss of her head.

"Let's go."

They walked in silence as moonlight bounced off the water, enough so that Chris could forgo the flashlight. They followed the stream until they met up with the trail.

"We can hike up the trail," Chris suggested. "There's an overlook not too far from here. Ought to be pretty with the moon shining over the mountains."

"McKenna, I meant to tell you this earlier," Jessie said as she followed Chris. "There's a trail not far from the tent, it goes along the ledge and ends up behind the waterfall."

Chris stopped short. "You're joking?"

Jessie shook her head. "We camped up there before. Jack took me behind the falls."

"I've walked all around there. I've never seen anything resembling a trail," Chris said.

"It was hard to find, I remember. You have to squeeze between two boulders and you think you're going right over the side of the mountain, but there's a ledge there and the trail snakes down, right behind the falls."

"Maybe we'll look for it in the morning. Any more secrets you want to share?"

Jessie grinned. "You found the caves yet?"

"Caves? What caves?"

"Guess not."

"Roger's not said anything about caves, Jessie."

"Roger Hamilton may not know about them. They were already closed to the public when my father started working here. He took me there many times," Jessie said. "Not any big deal, McKenna."

"Where are they?"

"I'm surprised you haven't found them, as much as you like to hike the streams."

"Quit teasing me. Where are they?" she asked again.

"After you meet up with the Nevada Trail, past the South Rim, you cross that little creek. At least, it used to be little."

"It still is. Little Bear Creek. You can hop across it."

"That's the one. Follow it upstream into the mountains, only about a mile, I think. You come to a really flat area, all smooth rock. On the left is some outcropping of granite. There are two caves in the rocks there."

"Real caves?"

"Well, not underground or anything like that. One of them is pretty large, probably one hundred feet deep, maybe eight feet high. That's the one they were afraid of. Too many loose rocks. The other one is just a cozy room. Jack took me there once when it was raining. We always kept firewood inside, just in case. We had a campfire right there and cooked the fish we had caught earlier. Stayed totally dry. They're easy to find, if you know what you're looking for, McKenna. If not, you'll walk right past them."

"So when the mountain collapsed, these are just cavities that formed from the fallen rocks?"

"Probably." Jessie shrugged. "I was just a kid. They may have just seemed huge to me. But Jack called them caves."

"Well, next time I'm up that way, I'll have a look."

They walked on in silence, boots scuffing rocks the only sound. Chris led them higher, towards an overlook. She took out her flashlight and cast the beam ahead. They came near the edge and stopped, both looking out over the moon-touched mountaintops. The distant peaks all but glowed in the moonlight.

"It's so quiet," Jessie whispered. "Beautiful."

Chris nodded. Indeed, it was enchanting. Her eyes strayed from the moon-kissed peaks to Jessie. Jessie stood, bathed in the moonlight, her face aglow as she scanned the horizon. Chris couldn't pull her eyes away. She had never seen anything more beautiful.

Jessie stood motionless, her eyes fixed on a distant mountain peak. A memory tried to crowd in... he was beside her, holding her, keeping her warm. What else? Were they camping? Had they been up this high? She closed her eyes, but still, she couldn't remember. Instead, an image came to her of them camping near the river. She was seven, maybe eight and he had taught her to tie flies that trip. They had fished for hours the next day, bringing their catch home. It was one of the few times she could remember Annie having dinner with them.

"What are you thinking about?" Chris asked quietly.

Jessie shook her head. "Nothing really. Just... it's so quiet. No owls. No wind. Nothing."

Chris nodded, not wanting to speak and disturb the silence. She knew they should get back. It was getting late. And colder. But Jessie looked so peaceful standing there, her arms crossed against her waist as she stared out into the vastness.

Jessie felt Chris watching her. She turned and caught her eyes, her breath catching at the unguarded desire she saw there. It was at that very moment she realized she was starving for physical contact, for intimacy. And not from a total stranger she'd just met at a bar. She could imagine Chris kissing her, holding her. She wanted her heart to pound with life like she knew it would, should their lips meet.

Chris swallowed hard, the sound echoing in her ears, so loud, she was sure it was bouncing off the canyon walls for all to hear. But there was only Jessie, eyes locked with her own. Chris silenced the voice in her head that urged her to turn and go, leaving Jessie to follow if she chose. Instead, she stepped closer to the eyes that beckoned, unable to resist any longer. Their eyes locked again, then Jessie moved into her arms, her mouth searching for Chris's waiting lips. The flashlight fell unnoticed between them as Chris pulled her closer, her hands on Jessie's hips holding her flush against her. Their mouths moved together, tongues meeting as they let their desire rage unchecked.

"Oh, God, yes," Jessie breathed, pressing her hips more firmly against Chris. She let her desire overtake her, felt her knees grow weak as Chris's hands moved up her sides, stopping just beneath her breasts. Jessie tried to remember a time she'd wanted another's touch this desperately. There was none. The countless, nameless list of strangers paraded through her mind in seconds and then there was only Chris, whose hands stoked the fire within her.

Her mouth opened fully to Chris, tongue moving against tongue. Her hands found Chris's and she slid them the few inches to her own breasts, moaning as Chris's warm hands cupped her. Jessie moved against her, her arms sliding over Chris's strong shoulders to hold her close.

Chris wasn't prepared for this. Staring at Jessie's picture for hours on end and the fantasies that followed did not compare to this. She felt Jessie's fullness and she pushed against her. Then, in one quick motion, her hands slid under Jessie's sweatshirt, touching her warm skin. She finally pulled her mouth away, searching Jessie's eyes, seeing mirrored passion. Chris moved her hands upward, stopping just beneath Jessie's full breasts.

"I want you to touch me," Jessie said softly.

"This is crazy," Chris murmured.

"Yes," Jessie agreed, her eyes never leaving Chris's.

Chris found the lacy bra and let her fingers move over it, feeling hard nipples straining against it. Jessie gave her a gentle nudge and Chris opened her legs, feeling Jessie's thigh slide between her opened legs. She was lost. She quickly shoved the bra aside, her hands closing over warm flesh and her mouth claimed Jessie's with a new hunger. Chris felt herself grow wet with need and she moved against Jessie's thigh, pressing her swollen clit hard against her.

"I want you," Chris breathed into Jessie's mouth.

"Yes. I want you, too."

Jessie's hands moved under Chris's sweatshirt, pushing it away from her flushed skin. She wasted no time as her hands moved up her body, trembling slightly when she found no bra. Her fingers gently grazed swollen nipples and she bent her head back, feeling Chris's lips move away from her own, across her face to find the throbbing pulse in her neck. Insane, she thought. This desire was nearly too much for her to bear. Jessie was always the one to drive women to the brink of desire, not the other way around. Never had she wanted to lie down on a cold forest floor and have someone make love to her. She wanted that now, regardless.

Chris came to her senses moments before she would have pulled Jessie down with her, unmindful of the rocks and sticks beneath them. She pushed Jessie away and held her at arm's length, her breath heaving in her chest.

"Jesus," she whispered. How close? How close had she been to ripping Jessie's clothes off? How close was she to pulling her own sweatshirt over her head.

Jessie licked her lips, wanting Chris's mouth again. It wouldn't take much, she knew, and she could have her. Right here, right now. But instead, she took a deep breath and moved away. It would serve nothing for them to lose themselves in this passion that had nearly swallowed them. Instead, Jessie tried to make light of it.

"Wow, McKenna, you sure know how to show a girl a view."

"I... I'm sorry."

Jessie cringed. She didn't want an apology. If anything, she should be the one apologizing.

"Don't you dare," she whispered. "We both wanted that."

Chris nodded. Yes. No doubt they'd both wanted it. Wanted more, in fact. But she knew it was best not to dwell on it.

"We should get back," she said. She bent over, searching for the fallen flashlight. Her hands gripped it, turning it over in her palm as she tried desperately to think of something witty to say. Anything to ease the tension that had sprung up between them. Nothing came.

Instead she turned and headed back down the trail, hoping Jessie would follow. She did.

They walked to their campsite in silence, finding the embers of the fire nearly dead. Chris contemplated starting it again, if only to delay the eventual departure into the tent. Together. Side by side. Chris physically shook herself. They were tired. They would sleep. That's all.

Chapter Fourteen

They hurried down the mountain, trying to beat the rain that was threatening. They had taken time for coffee and a quick breakfast of two muffins that Chris had stuffed in her pack, which were flattened nearly beyond recognition. Neither mentioned the incident of the previous night, nor the mostly sleepless night both of them had endured.

The air was cool and damp, just enough to prevent them from shedding their sweatshirts. By the time they reached the trailhead, it was starting to sprinkle and thunder rumbled overhead. They both tossed their packs in the Jeep, which was still uncovered. Chris had removed the top for the summer and she turned the heater on now as she drove quickly to the cabins.

"I don't guess I could talk you into coming to my place first?" Chris asked. "I could use some help with the top and I don't think I'm going to beat the rain."

"Of course. I don't mind getting wet, McKenna. Why should you have all the fun?"

The canvas top was stored under her bed and Chris ran to get it as the rain fell harder. They were soaked by the time the Jeep was covered and the windows zipped up.

"Come on inside. We'll wait it out," Chris offered.

She found towels for both of them, then left Jessie on the sofa with Dillon perched importantly in her lap. Chris took a quick shower, then changed into dry clothes. Jessie and Dillon were still on the sofa when she returned.

"He likes me," Jessie stated as she pointed to the curled up cat in her lap.

"Well, don't get a big head or anything. That's his favorite position."

"And I thought it was my charming personality he was attracted to."

Chris smiled at the two of them, watching a relaxed Jessie as she petted the cat.

"Listen, if you want to take a shower, I can probably find some clothes to fit you. We're about the same size," Chris offered.

"That's okay. I can wait."

Chris shrugged, then opened the refrigerator and peered inside.

"I'd offer to fix you lunch, but it's kinda bare," she apologized.

Jessie startled her as she leaned over her shoulder.

"Beer, salsa, milk, more beer and... cheese?" Jessie teased. "Oh, and an apple. Like I said, you don't cook much, do you?"

"I can open a can of soup and I can do cereal," Chris stated.

"Do cereal? That's really not cooking, McKenna." Jessie reached inside and pulled out two beers. "This will do."

They sat quietly at the table, listening to the rain. Chris wondered when they would broach the subject of last night or if they ever would. Jessie's eyes were veiled, her words guarded. Perhaps she regretted the few minutes of abandon the previous evening. Or maybe she was simply regretting the conversation about her childhood.

"You know, McKenna, I really didn't know how to act this morning," Jessie finally said.

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I'm talking about," she stated. "And I'm not only talking about the episode out there in the moonlight. That was... nice. But there's not a single person in my life that knows about my childhood, except several therapists scattered in San Francisco and New York. Actually, there's not really all that many people in my life, period," she admitted. In fact, there wasn't anyone.

"What do you mean?" Chris asked again.

Jessie turned cool, dark eyes on her. Eyes totally devoid of emotion.

"I have a problem establishing relationships, or so I've been told. I'm not exactly a nice person, McKenna," she said.

"You're not? I think you're nice," Chris said.

"But you don't really know me, do you?"

Jessie stood up and walked to the window, her back to Chris. No need to prolong this, she thought. Tell her what a bitch you are. Get it over with. Tell her how close you came to using her last night. There was no need to hang around here, pretending to vacation. She came to Sierra City to find Annie, to talk to her. No other reason than that.

But when she turned around, she collided with clear blue eyes that were filled with trust and understanding. Chris looked back at her, waiting.

"I... I use people, McKenna. For whatever I need. Professionally, personally." She shrugged. "For sex."

"And are you warning me or are you confessing?" Chris asked calmly.

"Look, McKenna, I'm just saying that I'm a taker. Not a giver. And for some crazy reason, I don't want to do that to you."

"Why?"

"Because that's just who I am, what I am. I don't know why."

"No. Why don't you want to do that to me? If you just use people for what you need then discard them, why are you warning me?"

Why indeed? Jessie turned back to the window, wrapping her arms across her chest. Because for the first time in so many years, she actually found someone she liked. And that scared her.

"Jessie, if you're upset about what happened last night, let's talk about it. I don't know about you, but it certainly wasn't something I planned."

"Wasn't it? Then why did you invite me along?"

Chris shrugged. "I like you."

Jessie groaned. No. She didn't want Chris to like her. God, nobody liked her. Why in the world would this woman be different?

"McKenna, if you knew me, trust me, you wouldn't like me."

"Why are you so hard on yourself?"

"Because, goddammit, I'm a bitch, that's why. I told you, I use people. And I'll use you, too. Because that's just the way I am."

Chris looked at the woman before her, the woman who was trying so hard not to be liked. Jessie Stone was an attractive woman. She was also a successful writer. Why then, was this woman standing with her arms wrapped around herself, so completely insecure and unsure of herself?

Chris walked over to her and unwrapped her arms, lightly grasping both of Jessie's hands.

"I'm sorry, but I just don't see it."

"McKenna..."

"No. I think you've led yourself to believe this and others have told you this so you assume it's true. But underneath all of that, I think you're a very nice, charming person. If you'll let yourself be, anyway."

Jessie wanted to laugh. What the hell did Chris know about it? They were practically strangers.

Chapter Fifteen

Jessie stood on her porch, inhaling deeply, thinking there was no nicer smell than the forest after a rain. The sweet smell of incense cedar drifted around her and she couldn't resist a small smile. She finally gave in to temptation and stepped off the porch, her boots silent on the wet ground as she walked over to the giant tree and shoved her nose against the bark. If there was one smell she wished she could bottle, this was it. It was one of the numerous smells embedded in her memory from childhood.

She settled in one of the chairs on the porch, thinking she should go inside and shower and get into dry clothes, but she was suddenly too tired for even that. The quick trip she'd planned back to Sierra City was not turning out the way she envisioned. She hadn't planned on taking two days for a backpacking trip. And she didn't know why she found the prospect of seeing Annie so difficult. Perhaps because she really didn't know why she was going to see her in the first place.

And McKenna. The woman was creeping into places that Jessie had kept off limits to everyone before. She really liked her. And what scared her more was that Chris seemed to genuinely like her, too. Why on earth, Jessie couldn't imagine.

As she'd told Chris, she wasn't a nice person. Hadn't Dr. Davies told her as much on her last visit?

Jessie wearily leaned her head back, wondering how she had come to this point in her life. She let the familiar depression settle over her like a blanket. When had it started? In high school? Before that, even? This heaviness had been with her so long, she couldn't remember a time that it had not followed her. Certainly as a child, she was happy. She must have been. Camping trips and fishing, he always made them fun. It was always just the two of them. She hadn't had to share him with anyone. Jack was her only friend.

When had that stopped? Why didn't they go camping anymore when she got older? Had they?

She shook her head. She couldn't remember. She couldn't remember anything.

Chapter Sixteen

Chris was just finishing her first cup of coffee when her cell phone rang. She was hoping it would be Jessie, then panicked, thinking it might be Annie.

"McKenna?"

"Yeah." It was Roger.

"We've got a ten-fifty, with fatality."

"Who?" she asked quickly, her heart pounding.

"Not a local."

"Thank goodness." In the three months that she'd been here, she had come to know a lot of the people in this small town. They all accepted her without question and treated her as if she'd been there for years.

"It's out on County Road Twelve and the sheriff's got a crew out, but according to reports, there should have been three people in the car. They've only got one body. They asked if we could give them a hand."

"They were probably thrown out," she said.

"Yeah. Well, they just found the accident about an hour ago. See if you can find Bobby and maybe Greg and meet me out there. Could have head injuries and they wandered off or something, who knows."

Thirty minutes later, they were on their way to the accident, south of Sierra City. The wrecked car was still there, some fifty feet down the side of the mountain, but the body had been removed. Roger came up to meet them, a grim look on his face.

"Very strange," he said. "Harold Jackson, twenty-two, was the only body found. From what they've found out so far, he and his brother, Jeffrey, age twenty, and a girl, Wendy, don't have her last name yet, left a party in Sacramento after midnight."

"Alcohol?" Bobby asked.

"Drugs for sure. They found cocaine in the car. Sheriff thinks the car was pushed off. There are dents in the back bumper that he doesn't think were made on the way down."

"Jesus," Greg said. "Some car rammed them?"

"That's what it looks like. If the other two survived, they might have headed into the woods, scared. Hell, I don't know."

"Let me look around, see if I can find anything, tracks, broken tree branches, anything that might indicate that they took off," Chris said.

"Okay. I don't want to start a major search here if it's not necessary. But the boys, their father is Harris Jackson."

"The senator?"

"That's the one."

Chris slid down the hill, grabbing onto tree limbs to keep from falling. The car was sitting on its nose, the engine shoved practically into the back seat. No way they could have survived the crash inside the car. They were either thrown out, or simply were not in the car when it went over the side. She remembered one accident similar to this, where the body was found nearly one hundred feet from the site, impaled on a tree branch.

She looked around the site, shaking her head. It was another fifty feet at least before it leveled off. If they were able to walk away, which she doubted, they would have had a hell of a time making it into the forest in the dark, even with a full moon, without sliding or falling off a rock the rest of the way down. She made her way down, past the car and looked for signs of rocks being dislodged or branches broken from someone pulling on them. She found nothing. She took her binoculars out and scanned the forest below, but still saw nothing to grab her attention.

She took her radio off her hip and called Roger.

"Nothing. I just don't see it, Roger. They weren't in the car."

"Ten-twelve," he said and she waited like he asked. "McKenna, come on back."

"Ten-four."

It took her nearly twenty minutes to climb back to the top and she was out of breath. She paused, hands on her hips as she breathed deeply. She scanned towards the forest, half expecting to see a body hanging from a tree.

"They found a body, a few miles back. Male."

"And the girl?"

"No. No sign of her," he said. "He'd been shot," Roger added.

Chris just stared at him. Murder? In Sierra City? This had to be a first. In this century, at least.

"Shot? Jesus," Bobby murmured.

"Yeah. My guess is drugs and they got mixed up with the wrong people this time. It's not our affair, thank goodness."

"What about the girl?" Chris asked.

"She'll probably turn up dead or else maybe she's the shooter." He turned to go then stopped. "Either way, it's going to be a big deal. Jackson is on his way out here now from Washington."

They went back to the station, silent on the ride back. She thanked Bobby and Greg for going with her, then went into her office.

Kay came in a short time later. "I've been listening on the police scanner," she said. "It's already all over the news in the city."

"Yeah, it's a big deal, for sure."

"You had a visitor this morning," Kay said. "A stranger."

"And?"

"There was a message." She handed her a white envelope with her name scrawled across the front. "I hope you don't mind, but she said you were friends. I gave her your cell phone number."

"Thanks." She waited until Kay left before opening it. It was an invitation to dinner at cabin number seven. She was surprised. When she had dropped Jessie off the day before, she was noncommittal as to when they might see each other again.

Chris got home late after spending the day directing the media and other interested parties away from town. By two o'clock, Sierra City was buzzing and it looked like the Fourth of July, with all the people milling about. The Rock House was doing a booming business and she couldn't even get close to Steve's gas station. They were to be on the national news at five o'clock and all the locals gathered at the Rock to watch. Chris stopped by, too, joining Roger for a beer after such an eventful day. He was curious why she wasn't staying for dinner, but he didn't press.

Her hair was still damp as she drove to Jessie's. She was fifteen minutes late and Jessie was on the back porch waiting.

"You came," she said. Their eyes held for a moment, then Jessie looked away.

"Did you think I wouldn't?"

Jessie only shrugged. "I hear you had a busy day."

"A nightmare." Chris took the beer that Jessie offered and leaned against the porch railing. "It was a regular circus in town today."

"One of the benefits of not having a TV, I guess. Ellen at the grocery store told me about it."

"Everyone was quite excited about being on television tonight, though."

"You?"

She shook her head. "No, but it'll die down in a day or two."

Chris studied Jessie as she sipped her beer. Jessie seemed a little reserved, guarded. Chris took a deep breath, knowing it was none of her business, but unable to let it go any longer. Annie was her friend. A friend she was scheduled to have dinner with Thursday night. And she was tired of playing games.

"Jessie, what are you really doing here?"

Jessie was surprised by the question and she looked away. Trust Chris to be direct. "I told you, my therapist says I've got issues here."

"Yes, you've said that. But what does that mean, exactly?"

"Exactly? What kind of question is that? I've got issues. If I knew what the hell they were, I'd do something about them."

Chris pushed off the railing and stood beside Jessie, thinking again that she should just mind her own business. But of course, she couldn't.

"I know Annie Stone," she said.

"You've heard of her?"

"No, I mean I know her. We're friends," Chris said.

Jessie's eyes widened. "Friends?"

"Roger Hamilton introduced me. You remember Roger?" she asked.

Jessie nodded, shocked. This, she was not expecting.

"Let's talk. Honestly, okay?"

"Honestly? McKenna, what's gotten into you? I invited you over for dinner and you want to have a heart-to-heart? This has nothing to do with you."

"Aren't you curious as to how I knew your name? Your books don't mention Jessie, just J. T."

Jessie shrugged. "It never occurred to me, really." And it hadn't.

"I was reading your book and Roger came over and saw it. He started telling me about you being from here and all. I was curious about you, I guess."

"Why?"

Chris met her eyes, but ignored her question. She wasn't ready to admit her infatuation over a picture. "Roger told me about Annie. I wanted to meet her."

"Why on earth?"

"I don't know why, I just did. And I like her very much," Chris admitted.

Jessie turned angry eyes to her. "How can you possibly like her? You know nothing about her."

"I probably know more about her than you do. I also probably know more about you than you remember yourself," Chris stated. She was getting into dangerous water, she knew, but the Annie that Jessie remembered was not the Annie that Chris knew.

"How dare you?" Jessie spat. "How dare you pry into my private life like that?" Then Jessie slapped Chris on the arm. "And how dare you let me pretend to be Jennifer Parker when you knew all along."

"What did you want me to do? I figured you had a reason."

"Look, I came back here because... because I don't know why, okay. It just seemed like the thing to do. I can't remember anything. All I feel is hatred and resentment for this woman who is my mother and I don't know why," she finished in a whisper.

"Jack had a lot of women, did you know that?"

"What? You believe what she told you? You didn't know him. He wasn't like that."

"Roger said the same thing."

"Jesus Christ! So you've been gossiping about my life?"

"It wasn't like that, Jessie."

Jessie gripped the railing and stared out, seeing nothing. She remembered that night, that night that Jack and Annie had been screaming at each other. Annie accused him and he denied it. She was the one who had a lover. She was the reason for... everything.

"Well, who could blame him? There was certainly no love waiting at home for him."

"How do you know that?"

"I lived there. I saw. She never spoke to him. She never did anything with us. She never went anywhere with us. She wouldn't even share a bedroom with him. She didn't love him. She didn't love me."

"Maybe she wasn't allowed to go anywhere with you. Maybe she wasn't allowed to love you."

"That's ridiculous. Is that what she said?"

"Why do you think she didn't love you?" Chris asked.

"She never talked to me. She hardly acknowledged that I was around."

"But you had meals on the table and clean clothes, all ironed for school?"

Jessie turned around slowly, a frown on her face.

"What about when you didn't come home for dinner?" Chris asked gently.

"Like when?"

"Fishing after school?"

Jessie thought back, then cleared her throat. "Jack would pick me up after school sometimes and we would go fishing. We'd cook them and eat them right there," she said in a distant voice, remembering.

"And when you got home, the table would be set for dinner and Annie would be waiting," Chris said.

Jessie looked away again, remembering the times Annie was sitting by herself at the table, dinner long cold.

"What then?"

"I would go to my room," she said quietly. She thought back, hearing her father laugh at Annie as she sat at the table. But she pushed that thought away. She was the one hurting, not Annie. But why?

"Jessie, there's more to it than you're letting yourself remember," Chris said, wondering how much she could coax from Jessie.

"So, do you and Annie just sit around and talk about me or what?"

Chris could tell she had lost her. The brief moment of uncertainty had passed and in its place was the anger. "No. We're just friends. She's been locked in that house for thirty-two years. She needed to talk."

"What do you mean?"

"They call her the 'hermit lady' around here. Ellen owns the grocery store and she's been here five years and has never even seen her. She doesn't leave the house. Roger brings her groceries a couple of times a month. But she has her hobbies," Chris added bitterly.

"Hobbies?"

"She paints. She reads," she said pointedly. She saw Jessie's head turn quickly, but she looked away again.

"I don't care about that. I don't care about her," Jessie said stubbornly. "And if you don't mind, I'm really not in the mood for dinner, McKenna."

"Jessie..."

"No. Just leave. I want to be alone."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I just wanted you to know about Annie. I didn't mean to upset you," Chris said.

"Well, you have, McKenna."

The dark eyes still sparked with anger and Chris lowered her own. She had said too much. She had delved into things that were not her business. And she had destroyed any friendship that she and Jessie had started. For that, she was sorry. But she wasn't sorry for bringing up Annie.

Chris left without another word and Jessie went inside, standing in her small kitchen with her arms wrapped around herself. But she refused to think. Her head was already pounding and she opened the bottle of wine that was to go with their dinner.

"My life's a fucking mess," she whispered to the empty cabin.

Chapter Seventeen

Chris was assisting the sheriff's department the next morning, along with Matt and Roger. It turned out the missing girl was Wendy Dearborne, granddaughter of Phillip Dearborne, the famous San Francisco district attorney. Needless to say, the case had top priority, and all those around Sierra City cursed the fact that the accident had happened in their area. Heads were rolling from the top down, and now they were participating in a search, starting where Jeffrey Jackson's body had been found and covering the forest between there and where the car went off the road. Another group was starting at the accident site and Greg and Bobby were helping them.

Chris was trying to concentrate, looking for any evidence, but her mind kept wandering back to the night before. She had handled it poorly, she knew, but it was too late for that. She could have just ignored the whole thing and gone on like they had been. Have a little fun while Jessie was here, someone to have dinner with, maybe more, she thought. But she liked Annie too much. The woman didn't deserve to suffer any more. And Chris knew that if Jessie would just go talk to Annie, get everything out in the open, maybe they could repair the damage that had been done all those years ago. But what damage? Even Jessie didn't know the answer to that.

They walked until noon, then stopped to rest and eat the lunch they had brought. She and Matt sat on a downed tree and Roger leaned against a rock.

"We're not going to find anything. I can feel it," Matt said.

"Yeah. I agree," Chris said. But they were just following orders.

"We'll be out of it after today," Roger said. "The senator has the FBI on it. Then we can get back to our menial duties of managing the forest."

Chris noticed the bitterness in his voice and knew he hated the fact that his office had been taken over. She did, too.

"Where the hell is Hatcher, Roger? Why isn't he out here?"

"McKenna, don't start with me. You know damn well where he is."

"You know he doesn't like to get dirty, McKenna," Matt said with a grin.

"Somebody had to stay at the office, the phone was ringing off the hook," Roger said. "Might as well be him."

Chris just shook her head, remembering how Robert Hatcher had nearly fallen over himself when the FBI showed up.

"Kay said that his father and the senator are friends. You'd think he would be out here looking, too," she said.

It was another couple of hours before they met up with the other search group. No one had found a thing.

They all stood in a group as the sheriff addressed them.

"I want to thank you all for helping out. Roger, thanks for lending your SAR team. The senator has asked the FBI to take over the investigation so we'll just be assisting them if they need us."

Chris and Roger exchanged glances. So, even the sheriff was being dismissed.

It was after five o'clock when Chris got back. She wanted a shower and a cold beer. She had told Matt she would meet him at the Rock for dinner. Anything was better than sitting in her cabin alone, even one of Dave's surprises. Dillon met her at the door and she scooped him up and kissed him before filling his bowl with food. She took a beer from the fridge on her way past and undressed as she went. Her clothes were scratched, stained and sweaty and she piled them in the clothesbasket in the corner of her room. It was time to hit Roger up for dinner so she could do laundry, she thought. She stood naked in the bathroom, downing her beer before stepping under the hot spray.

With her head tilted back and the water pounding against her breasts, she thought of Jessie and wondered what kind of day she had. Chris was tempted to drive to her cabin and check on her but she didn't want to take a chance on getting thrown out again.

She changed into clean jeans and a long-sleeved T-shirt. Her hair was still wet and she opened the Jeep window and let the cool breeze dry it as she drove. It was too long, she noted. The bangs were hanging in her eyes and she brushed them away impatiently.

The Rock House was busy for a Tuesday night and she spotted Matt and Bobby sitting at a table with Roger.

"Hey guys."

"McKenna."

She caught Martha's eye before she sat down and raised her hand. "A beer, Martha. Please," she called.

"Yeah, yeah, you and everybody else. Keep your shirt on, McKenna."

"Why does she abuse me?" she asked.

"Abuse? Hell, she's being nice tonight," Roger said.

"But she's not sweet like Donna," Bobby said.

Chris flicked her eyes at Matt and grinned and he pleased her by blushing slightly. But she stopped her teasing there. Matt still had not worked up the nerve to ask Donna to dinner.

Martha brought her a draft beer, sloshing some on the table as she usually did.

"Dave wants to know what you want tonight," she said.

"Look, let's just be safe, okay. How about a baked potato? A little sour cream and cheese?"

Martha grinned. "You're learning, McKenna."

"Bring us another round, too."

"I only have two hands, Roger. Wait your turn."

"If she knew how many damn miles we walked today," Roger mumbled.

Chris laughed. "And you're the jogger in the bunch."

"Jogging is not climbing over boulders and around trees."

"I think you're getting soft in your old age," she teased.

"Soft my ass. I can still run circles around you, McKenna."

"Sure you can."

Chris suffered through three men going on and on about their steaks as she ate her baked potato, trying her best to ignore them.

"Why are you a vegetarian, McKenna?" Bobby asked.

She opened her mouth to give a politically correct statement when Roger chimed in.

"A woman," he said. "I think she was trying to impress her."

"Girlfriend?" Matt asked.

"Wow, McKenna. You'd give up steak for a woman?"

Chris glared at Roger before addressing the questions.

"She was a girlfriend at one time, years ago. And yes, I did give up steak for her, Bobby." Then she grinned. "It was well worth it."

"And where is she now?" Roger asked.

"You know damn well where she is."

"Where?" Matt and Bobby asked in unison.

"She decided she liked a millionaire's son better and married him," Chris said.

"Guess she liked meat after all," Bobby said innocently.

Chris nearly spit her beer out for laughing.

Chapter Eighteen

Jessie grabbed a blanket and a bottle of wine and headed out. The trail would be treacherous at night, but she didn't care. She couldn't escape her thoughts and she desperately needed answers. It was only when the moon went behind a cloud that she remembered she had no flashlight. But it didn't matter. She didn't care.

She stumbled along the trail, her boots hitting unseen rocks and she would have walked into a tree had the moon not shown itself again. She finally found the ledge and blindly jumped across the break, landing only feet from the edge.

So many years ago, her father's life ended right here. She stared out over the canyon into the darkness below. Why had he jumped?

She sat down and let her feet dangle over the edge, part of her knowing she was far too close but she didn't move back. Instead, she reached into her bag for the bottle of wine.

"What happened?" she whispered.

She took a swallow from the bottle and shoved it between her legs, letting childhood memories flood her. Camping. Just the two of them in the tent. Fishing, him teaching her to tie flies. Hiking the trails, she running ahead of him, then him chasing her, finally catching her and swinging her around. Annie was never there. She wasn't there for either of them. Jessie closed her eyes. Annie didn't love him. She remembered him telling her that. Annie wasn't there for him.

Then the tent. It was so hot, he told her she didn't have to put her pajamas on. Jessie took another swallow from the bottle. Annie wasn't there for him. But Jessie was. She was always there.

"Oh God," she whispered.

"Jessie, you’re my best girl, aren’t you?"

How many times had she heard those words? The best girl. And because Annie wasn't there, she had to be.

"No."

"Its okay, Jessie. It'll be our little secret."

"Oh, no," she sobbed and clutched the wine bottle to her. "No."

Forgotten memories hit her full force and she cried for her lost innocence. The tent. It was so hot. Oh God, and it hurt. It hurt so bad. But he had soothed her, told her it would be better the next time. It wouldn't hurt so much. She was such a good girl.

"Goddamn son of a bitch!" she screamed through her tears. She rocked back and forth, the bottle of wine her only comfort on this dark, dark night.

Chapter Nineteen

Chris drove back to her cabin with the Jeep window open. The night was cool, but the fresh air felt good after sitting in cigarette smoke for the last few hours. She glanced toward the parking area for Ridge Trail like she always did and slammed on her brakes. Jessie's rental car shone in the moonlight.

"Jesus! What the hell is she doing?"

She parked beside the car and felt the hood. It was cold. She let out a heavy sigh.

"Oh, man."

After hiking all day, the last thing she wanted was a quick trip up Ridge Trail. It took her nearly thirty minutes to negotiate the trail in the dark, even with her flashlight. She topped the ridge and stopped to catch her breath and relief washed over her as she saw the lone figure sitting on the ledge. The moon cast enough light for her to see Jessie huddled in a blanket, a bottle of wine sitting next to her. She turned the flashlight off and walked over to her.

"Jessie?" she called softly. There was no answer. No movement. "Can I sit with you?" Still nothing.

Chris took one long stride across the crack in the ledge and sat down behind her, moving the nearly empty bottle of wine away. She spread her legs on either side of Jessie and put her arms around her, pulling her back against her chest. Jessie didn't resist, instead laid her head back against Chris. Chris felt her take a deep breath, then release it slowly.

"You okay?" Chris whispered.

"No."

"Want to talk?"

"No."

Chris only nodded and held Jessie to her, rocking her gently in her arms. After a few moments, she felt rather than heard Jessie crying. Chris kissed the back of her head gently and tightened her hold.

Jessie relaxed into the comfort of Chris's arms, letting her tears fall silently. She had thought that she was cried out, but for the first time in so many, many years, secure arms held her, offering solace, nothing more. And it felt good. But she knew she didn't deserve it. She had nothing to give back. She was just an empty shell of a woman. And emptiness was something she was very used to.

She felt Chris kiss her hair, felt her arms tighten and she squeezed her eyes shut against the feelings that seethed over her. She didn't deserve this. No, she deserved to hurt, to feel pain.

She turned her head suddenly, pressing her lips into Chris's neck, then moving to her lips, kissing them hard.

"No, don't say anything," she whispered. "Please. I know you want me. I can see it in your eyes."

She pushed Chris back on the ledge and straddled her, her hands roughly cupping Chris's breasts before her mouth claimed Chris again.

Chris didn't know what was happening, but she had no time for thoughts as her mouth opened and Jessie's tongue entered, driving out all resistance.

Jessie took what she wanted and Chris became a nameless, faceless woman, like so many before her. Just someone she could use to drive out her thoughts. She laid her full weight on top of Chris, pressing her hips hard into the soft body beneath hers, hearing Chris's low moan as her kiss turned hungry. She refused to think, letting her body take over as her hands moved between them, unbuttoning Chris's jeans and slipping easily inside. Her fingers found their target, only briefly acknowledging the wetness she knew she would find. She shook off the hands that cupped her face, denying the tender kiss that Chris placed on her lips.

"No."

The eyes that Chris found in the moonlight were hard, dark, emotionless.

"Jessie ..."

"No."

Jessie covered her mouth again then roughly grabbed Chris's hand and shoved it inside her own jeans. She rolled over, pulling Chris on top of her, opening her legs.

"Please, take me," she whispered before guiding Chris's mouth back to her own.

Chris tried to pull away, her mind fighting with her body over her desire for this woman. She could take her, right now. But for pleasure? No, it would just be a quick fuck. Jessie's eyes were blank. There was no pleasure there. But Jessie grabbed her hand again, pushing it inside her jeans. Fingers felt wetness and Chris moaned, wanting to be inside her, and she let her body win.

Jessie raised her hips, shoving fingers deep inside her. Her eyes closed as familiar feelings gripped painfully at her heart. Her hips moved roughly against fingers that tried to give her pleasure. She didn't want pleasure. She wanted to hurt.

"Harder," she whispered.

"No, Jessie, look at me."

"No. Please, just fuck me." She closed her mind and saw nothing, only blackness. Then he was there, so big, so rough, callused hands touching her soft skin. "It's alright, baby, Daddy's here."

Chris saw the tears fall, felt Jessie go limp and she finally pulled her hand away. She stared at her, wondering what had just happened, why she had let it happen. This isn't what she wanted between them.

"Jessie?"

Jessie shook her head as sobs racked her body. She felt Chris pull away from her and sit up. Jessie curled into a fetal position and cried. She cried harder when she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Jessie, please. Tell me what the hell is going on."

"I just wanted... I wanted,"

"I know what you wanted. I want to know why. Why did you do that to me?"

"I tried to warn you," Jessie whispered.

"Warn me?"

"I use people, McKenna. It's the only thing I'm good at."

"Goddamn you, Jessie. I'm not some bimbo you picked up in a bar to take home for a quick fuck. I liked you."

Liked. Past tense. Jessie nodded. This, she was used to.

Chris stood and pulled her jeans up and buttoned them. Never in her life had she been this humiliated. She had thought, maybe, that Jessie liked her, that Jessie wanted to be with her as much as Chris wanted to be with Jessie. But no, she just used people.

"Come on," she said.

"No."

"Yes. I'm leaving and so are you. Get up."

Jessie wanted to argue, but she knew Chris would not leave her here alone. Despite the fact that she had hurt her. Yes, Jessie hurt her. Intentionally. This beautiful woman with such kindness in her eyes, Jessie had turned their mutual attraction into a game. She was very sorry, but she couldn't find the words to explain, so she said nothing.

She followed Chris silently down the trail, several steps behind her. At the trailhead, Jessie stopped at the Jeep but Chris opened the door and climbed in. Their eyes met and Jessie saw none of the warmth that she was used to seeing in her blue eyes. She saw hurt and pain and a hint of anger. She didn't blame her. She stepped aside as Chris pulled away and walked numbly to her car.

Chapter Twenty

Dinner with Annie was the hardest thing Chris had ever endured in her life. Annie was full of questions about the accident and Chris filled her in, but the usual banter between them was missing. Annie commented that Chris was unusually quiet, but Chris passed it off to exhaustion. She so badly wanted to confide in Annie about Jessie, but she knew Annie would never forgive her for not telling her that Jessie was here. The painting that Annie had done for her was finished and it turned out to be beautiful, even to her inexperienced eye, and she told Annie as much. She hung it over the mantel as soon as she got home.

She had not even been tempted to drive to Jessie's cabin. She was still very angry at both Jessie and herself. And for the life of her, she couldn't imagine what had happened. Maybe that was what Jessie was used to. A quick fuck and hey, see you around. But that had never been Chris's style. Even her teasing words to Jessie about making trips to Sacramento to the bars was mostly talk. Only once had Chris taken a woman up on her offer and then, only after several drinks. She had regretted it the next morning and hadn't been back since.

But with Jessie, Chris had allowed her attraction to overtake her good sense. But what they had done, however brief, could hardly be called making love. And on the ledge, for God's sake. Had they actually been in the throes of passion, they could have both tumbled off into the canyon.

But it didn't matter. Lesson learned. And it was true. Jessie had tried to warn her. She just hadn't believed it.

It was after the third day and no sign of Jessie when Chris broke down and drove to cabin number seven. She found it empty. The door was locked and she walked around to the back porch. The chairs were standing neatly against the cabin and she pressed her face against the window and peered inside. Empty. All of Jessie's things were gone and Chris told herself that she was glad, that she didn't want anything more to do with Jessie Stone, but she knew she was lying. She really was worried about her. Without realizing what she was doing, she stopped the Jeep at Mary Ruth's and met her on the porch.

"Oh, she left three days ago. Didn't even see her, though. There was just a note and the key left on the porch here."

Chris figured Jessie must have gone straight to the cabin and packed and left that same night. Well, it was probably for the best.

Her days returned to normal. The excitement over the murders had died down like they knew it would, and their weekends were again busy with hikers and campers hitting the trails before winter came. They were well into September and the first snowfall of the season wouldn't be far behind.

Chapter Twenty-one

Jessie waited in the reception area, early for her appointment for once. She wore black jeans and a black vest, with a wrinkled white T-shirt underneath, comfortable in her athletic shoes. Probably the only one in the building who was. High heels and hose, suits and ties were everywhere. Back in the city, she thought. She had been back nearly two weeks, but she had not left her apartment once. She had sat for hours, just thinking. She thought of Chris a lot, especially of how they had left things between them. She wondered if Chris would ever forgive her. She wouldn't blame her if she didn't. She thought of Annie, too. She wondered what she would be like and she acknowledged that she didn't really know her. They had shared a house for seventeen years, but Jessie had no idea of her likes and dislikes or anything else about her. Chris had been right. She probably did know Annie better than Jessie ever would. She tried not to think about Jack, but long buried memories kept creeping in, memories that she wished she could still forget.

"Ms. Stone, she's ready," the receptionist told her pleasantly.

Jessie walked confidently into Dr. Davies' office and offered a smile.

"Well, so glad you're back. I was surprised to find your name on the appointment list."

Jessie shrugged.

"You look well. Did everything go okay?"

Jessie didn't know where to begin so she just blurted out the words that she still found hard to say.

"Jack sexually abused me."

She expected shock, disbelief. Not the quiet nod that she got.

"What? That's it?" Jessie asked.

"I suspected as much, Jessie. But you had to remember yourself, I couldn't put that idea in your head."

"You suspected? How?"

"Jessie, let's talk about how you discovered this? Did you talk to your mother, to Annie?"

"No. I couldn't bring myself to see her. I met someone who knew her, though." But she didn't want to go over it all again. She had thought of nothing else for the past two weeks. She stood up suddenly, pacing in front of the desk. "What am I supposed to do now?"

"Jessie, sit down."

"No. I don't want to sit," she said, still pacing. "It just came to me. I think maybe I knew, I don't know. Chris kept asking about my childhood, you know, but I didn't remember. I kept telling her I didn't remember."

"Who is Chris?"

"She works there, she knows Annie. She knew who I was," she explained hurriedly. "We had an argument about Annie, about Jack. She told me some things that I didn't know, that I didn't remember." Jessie walked back and forth in front of the desk, her mind reeling.

"That night, I went up on the mountain. Something just pulled me up there. And I sat... and I remembered," she finished in a whisper. "I remembered it all."

"Jessie, please sit."

"No, dammit! I don't want to sit. I've been sitting for two weeks. I'm angry. And I want to know why?"

"Why? Why he did it?"

"Yes. I want to know why? Was it Annie's fault? Was it my fault?"

"Jessie, we'll never know why. We just have to work through this and we can, now that you know."

"No. I can come here and we can talk this to death, but what will that solve? It's not going to change anything," she said.

"No, you're right. It wouldn't change anything. But most importantly, you must know that it wasn't your fault. You were a child. You were the victim."

"But why?"

"There could be numerous reasons, Jessie. I can list off clinical answers for you if you want. But let's talk about you. Let's talk about how you feel."

"How I feel? How the fuck do you think I feel?"

"Jessie, I know you're angry. You should be angry. But at least you feel something."

Jessie stopped her pacing and stared at her. Yes, at least she felt something. She couldn't have said that a month ago. A month ago, she just felt dead.

"I'm going back," she stated. "I want to see her."

"That's a good start. Perhaps after we've had a chance to work through this, you'll be able to see her, to talk to her about your childhood. Your mother may have no idea what happened."

"No. Look, I'm not deranged, I'm not suicidal. I don't want to murder my mother, despite what you may think after reading my books." Jessie leaned on the desk and faced Dr. Davies. "I just want my life back."

"And you should, Jessie. You will. But it's not just a matter of accepting this and going about your life. You will have bad moments. You will still remember things that you don't even remember now. We'll work through it and you can still live a normal, healthy life."

"You don't understand. I'm not going to work through this by coming to you and talking about it. I think I only came today to be able to say it out loud to someone. I've been sitting in my apartment for two weeks, working through it. Yes, at first, I thought it was my fault, that I'd done something to deserve it. Then I thought it must be Annie's fault. But last night, I finally realized that Jack was the only one to blame. And I can be as angry with him as I want to be, but he's not here anymore. And you're right. I haven't had a life. Not yet. And I don't want to waste any more time. So I'm going back to see her, to talk to her."

"And I think you should, Jessie. But you need guidance. You need someone to talk to about your fears, and you will have them."

"I think I have someone there I can talk to," she said. "That is, if she'll still want to talk to me."

"Annie?"

"No. Chris. If anyone will understand, it's Chris," she said, hoping it was true.

"How do you know this? She's someone you've known for what, a few weeks?"

"I just know."

Chapter Twenty-two

Chris was out on horseback, following the South Rim Trail. Ever since the car accident, it seemed every nut from the city had decided that Sierra City was the place to be. Two weeks ago, a body had been found. A man in his mid-twenties had been shot in the head and dumped in the forest. Roger and Ellen had stumbled across the body when they were out on their evening walk. He was the younger brother of a jailed drug dealer in San Francisco. Eight days ago, a small plane had gone down, some twenty miles into the forest. There were no trails, and Chris led a group of rescuers and a sheriff’s department evacuation unit into where they thought the plane had gone down. It had taken them three days to find the plane. There had been no smoke and no fire. The plane had simply disappeared into the forest. The plane was still relatively intact when they found it, along with about a million dollars' worth of cocaine.

Today, they were searching for a runaway. A teenage girl had left her parents a note and had taken a backpack and enough food for a couple of days. They hadn't approved of her boyfriend and had forbidden her to see him. So, she ran away to be with him. Of course, the boy had no idea. He was safe at home, in a small town about thirty miles north of Sierra City. They had searched every part of the forest that they thought she might have traveled through and had turned up nothing.

"What do you think?" Bobby asked her for the fourth time.

"I think this week sucks," she said. She was tired and she hadn't had a decent meal in eight days. She wondered if she had even left food out for Dillon. She had scarcely seen him in two weeks. "And I thought Yosemite was busy."

They camped near the Nevada Trail that night, their third and her seventh in a row. She radioed Roger when they had the fire going.

"For her to have made it this far in three days, she would have to have been jogging the whole way. We both know that didn't happen."

"I agree," he said. Chris thought he sounded tired and realized that it had been a tough week for him, too. "Come on back tomorrow. We'll concentrate closer to home, even though no one's found a sign of her."

"Ten-four."

The next morning, Roger woke them. "Good news. Found the kid."

"Where the hell was she?"

"San Francisco. She left the note as a decoy and hitched to the city."

"Son of a bitch," Chris said.

"Yeah, I know. Come on home. Let's hope things slow down. Maybe we'll get a snowstorm or something."

They wasted no time and even the horses seemed like they didn't want to spend another night on the trail. It was dark when they got back, exhausted.

Chris stood in the shower, her eyes closed as the hot water soothed her aching muscles. Dillon waited patiently on the toilet seat for her to finish. When the hot water ran out, she turned it off and stepped out, drying herself with a thick towel.

"Miss me?" she asked him as he rubbed against her legs.

She had actually taken the time to stop at Ellen's and pick up something for dinner. She had vegetables sautéing, garlic bread in the oven and linguine ready to boil. After dinner, she sat on the sofa, feet stretched out on the coffee table, sipping wine. Dillon was curled in her lap and she rubbed his ear while he purred.

The knock on the door startled her and she called for them to come in without turning around. Roger stuck his head inside.

"Feel like company?"

"Sure, come on in."

He brought his customary six-pack of beer and he put it in the fridge and took a cold one of hers.

"Hell of a week," he said.

"No doubt," she agreed. "I hope that kid is grounded for life."

He joined her on the sofa and they both put their feet up, staring at the painting over the fireplace.

"Annie?" Roger asked.

"Yeah. You like it?"

"It's good. I'm glad she's found a friend," he said.

"I like her."

"Yeah. Good for you, too, huh?"

"She is. And she cooks. An added bonus."

Chris swirled the wine in her glass absently. Jessie had been weighing heavy on her mind and she was tired of keeping her presence this summer a secret. She wouldn't dare tell Annie, but maybe Roger. She sighed. It had been over a month, but still, she thought of her.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You just sighed."

"So?"

"So, you've been... I don't know, different."

"Different? I've not been different," she said a little testily.

"McKenna, I know you. What the hell is wrong?"

Chris stared at him, then reached out and grasped his arm.

"If I tell you something, you swear you won't tell a soul? Not even Ellen?"

"What the hell is going on, McKenna?"

"You swear?"

"Okay, I swear," he said dramatically. "Now tell me."

"There was a woman staying here at one of Mary Ruth's cabins a month or so ago. I sort of became friends with her."

"A woman, McKenna? You met a woman and it's a big secret?"

"Jessie Stone."

"What the hell? Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure."

"How do you know it was her?"

"Goddammit, Roger, I told you, we became friends."

"Jessie Stone? Here?"

"Here."

"Jesus Christ, McKenna. And you didn't tell Annie?"

"I didn't tell anybody. I first met her out on Ridge Trail, the spot where Jack fell. I knew who she was from her picture, but she introduced herself as Jennifer Parker."

"What the hell was she doing here?"

"You're being difficult, Roger. Let me tell the damn story."

"Sorry. I just can't believe, after all these years, she came back."

"I think she came back with the intention of seeing Annie. She's got some problems, some issues, her therapist says. She can't remember much about her childhood, well her later childhood, anyway. And she damn near hates Annie, although I don't think even she knows why. Something happened to her, Roger and I hate to say this, but I really think Jack abused her. Sexually."

"No, McKenna. I told you, he loved her."

"Yeah, I think he did. I think he really loved her, Roger."

"Is that what she told you?"

"No, she can't remember. It's just stuff that you've told me and Annie's told me. And she's definitely got some problems. Sexual problems, too," she added.

"And you know this how?"

"Look, we didn't sleep together or anything, if that's what you're hinting at," she said. What they had done couldn't be lumped in that category, she knew. And she wouldn't tell Roger what had happened on the ledge that night, either. She doubted she would ever tell anyone that.

"So, what happened? Where is she?"

"She left. Right after the accident. We sort of had words, I told her that I was friends with Annie. I tried to make her see that Annie wasn't the one to blame, but she didn't want to hear that. Anyway, I think she may have remembered. Something happened with her, anyway. And she just left. I never saw her again."

"And she never saw Annie?"

"No. And Annie would kill me if she found out that Jessie was here and I didn't tell her."

"Yes, my friend, I think she would."

Chapter Twenty-three

Jessie slipped her light jacket off before walking to Mary Ruth's cabin. It had been cold and damp when she landed in San Francisco, but the sun was shining brightly here. She knocked and heard shuffling in the back of the house.

"Coming," Mary Ruth yelled from inside.

Jessie waited on the porch. Her quick turnaround trip had lasted eight weeks. By the time she made arrangements for someone to look after her apartment, her editor had contacted her with revisions and she worked nonstop, trying to finish the book. She wanted nothing more than to be out of the city. Now, the days were cooler, although still warm for early November. She took a deep breath, loving the crisp smell of autumn.

"Why, Miss Parker, I wasn't expecting you until this evening."

Mary Ruth opened the door and Jessie went inside, where the smell of freshly baked cookies surrounded her.

"I took an earlier flight, Ms. Henninger. Sorry I didn't call, but I didn't think you would mind."

"Of course not. Your cabin's been ready for days. Come into the kitchen, dear. I need to put in another batch." Jessie followed her and her eyes were drawn to the pile of cookies sitting out to cool.

"Try one, Miss Parker. Chris won't mind sharing."

Jessie's heart fluttered at the mention of her name and she looked at Mary Ruth quickly, certain that her face was flushed. "Chris?"

"They call her McKenna. She comes to visit on Wednesdays and I always like to have cookies for her to take home." She put another pan into the oven and turned back to Jessie. "I thought you knew her. In fact, Chris came asking about you after you left."

"She did? Yes, we met while I was here." So, she'd come looking for her. Maybe Chris wasn't as angry as Jessie had imagined.

"Good. She's a lovely girl, so thoughtful. No matter how tired she is, she always finds time to stop by."

Yes, that was Chris. Thoughtful.

"Here, dear. I've got your card all filled out. Just sign at the bottom."

Jessie did as she was asked and wrote out a check. She had to be out by December 20, at the latest, Mary Ruth had told her. All the cabins were booked after that for the holidays.

Jessie left her then, after Mary Ruth had handed her the key and shoved a small bag of cookies into her hands. Cabin number seven was as she had left it, although there was now a small pile of firewood stacked neatly on the porch.

As she unpacked the SUV she had rented, she realized how differently she felt this time around. She wasn't filled with the dread and apprehension that had consumed her in late August. Now, she was actually looking forward to the future, excited about the possibility of seeing Annie and just... talking to her. And Chris. She hoped Chris would give her the chance to explain. Jessie was still filled with guilt whenever she thought of that night up on Ridge Trail. And guilt was an emotion she had not experienced in a very long time. But Chris had offered her comfort, friendship, companionship, everything that Jessie had needed that night. And Jessie had simply thrown it in her face. She had made a mockery of their attempted lovemaking. If she were Chris, she wouldn't want anything more to do with her. But then, she wasn't Chris.

That evening, before dark, Jessie put on her running shoes and jogged to the trailhead of Elk Meadow. It had turned colder as soon as the sun faded from view, and she had pulled on sweatpants over her shorts. She ran, the dusk swallowing her, and for the first time in her adult life, she felt free. No long forgotten memories haunted her, no hatred filled her heart. She was starting over. And she would begin by seeing her mother.

It was after dark when she returned to her cabin and the stew that had been simmering all afternoon was ready. She took a bowl and a glass of wine to the back porch and ate there in the silence of the forest. She didn't hear the owls and she wondered if they had left when the weather turned colder and gone to lower elevations or if they had simply moved on to better hunting grounds.

Later, she put on her jacket and walked to the stream, making her way by the light of the moon, her breath frosty in the night air. She peered through the trees and saw no lights from Chris's cabin. Was she at the Rock House having dinner? Was she still working? Jessie shrugged and turned back. It wasn't Chris she was here to see.