Simply Sinful

CHAPTER ELEVEN

“YOU DON’T SHOOT WHEN a civilian’s involved.” Kane’s shout reverberated through the air, stopping passersby on the street.

“You do when there’s a safe shot,” the rookie retorted.

“Didn’t you learn anything at the academy? There is no such thing and I’ll make sure you have plenty of time to remember that while you’re walking the beat for the next month.”

Kayla cringed from her perch on the curb where she’d fallen. Some trigger-happy cop had decided to take out the suspect when he’d tried to drag her into the car along with him. She supposed she should be grateful, but from the anger in Kane’s voice, she knew they’d both be paying for the foreseeable future. If Kane even stuck around that long, now that they had the guy in custody.

The rookie had hit the man in the leg and he’d dropped hard, his weight taking her down with him. Now he lay moaning in pain, surrounded by police.

“And you.” Kane rounded the circle of cops, his attention now fully focused on her.

The adrenaline rush from seeing him was much more potent than anything that had come before. His intense gaze settled on her face and her heart rate kicked into high gear.

“I thought I told you to stay put. To make sure you didn’t leave the restaurant. But following orders isn’t in your vocabulary, is it?” He loomed over her. Big, powerful and sexy, despite his all-encompassing anger.

Her fingertips curled around the curb and the rough concrete bit into her skin. “Not when I’m stranded on my own and forced to improvise. He said move, I moved. I didn’t think…”

His jaw clenched in a gesture she’d come to recognize, one that signaled the calm before the proverbial storm. “You’re damn right you didn’t think. You didn’t think he’d grab you, didn’t think he’d try to drag you into his car, didn’t think some rookie looking for a promotion would see his chance and fire.”

She’d put herself in danger while he was powerless to stop it…just like with his mother. Kayla realized the foundation of his anger way too late to prevent the flood of emotion she’d inadvertently unleashed. The yelling came from deep concern, and fear of reliving his painful past.

“I’m not hurt, Kane.”

“But you had to push him,” he continued as if he hadn’t heard. He probably hadn’t. “You had to know about your aunt. You couldn’t trust me to do my job…” His voice trailed off and he paused, shaking his head. “It’s not like I gave you any damn reason to.”

Kayla shook her head. She trusted him, all right. With her life and with her heart. But he wouldn’t believe her any more than he’d want to hear the truth. Because Kane was only concerned with his job, not with emotions he hadn’t asked her to feel for him. This turn of events hadn’t helped. In fact, that rookie had probably shot her happy ending to hell and back.

Kane had wanted a neat wrap-up, no problems, no proof that he’d let his feelings sway his judgment in any way. Life had just thrown the unexpected in his path. He’d have to deal with that, Kayla thought. The man had emotions and it was past time he got in touch with them.

She quickly cataloged her body and not finding any overt injuries, she levered herself to a standing position. Unexpected pain shot through her ankle when she put pressure on her foot. She forced what she hoped was an easy smile. “I’m fine.”

His hand reached out to stroke her cheek. Spiraling dizziness assaulted her. Not from the shock of the past few minutes, but from his heated touch and the caring it implied.

“You just winced.” His husky voice shook her composure. Could she dare hope he wouldn’t be able to walk away?

“Did I?” She shook her head. “I didn’t realize. That guy weighed a ton and I took the brunt of his fall. Look, Captain Reid’s here,” she said, hoping to distract him so she could walk the kinks out of her ankle.

Kane placed his hand on the small of her back, waiting for her to precede him. She drew a deep breath and took her first step. Her ankle buckled beneath her.

His muttered curse coincided with the sudden weightless sensation of being swept off her feet.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting you the hell out of here.”

She gripped his shoulders with both hands and held on tight. Hard muscles flexed beneath her fingertips and an accompanying rhythm began to hum inside her as well. She couldn’t suppress a shiver of desire. “Put me down and let me walk on my own. This is humiliating.” And arousing. And it felt way too good for something destined to end.

“Captain.”

The older man walked toward them.

“Anything you need from her you’ve got on tape. She’ll be down tomorrow to make a statement,” Kane said.

Reid nodded. If Kayla wasn’t mistaken, an amused smirk clung to the edge of his mouth.

Embarrassment flooded her. She could only imagine the shade of pink that probably washed over her cheeks. “I can walk,” she muttered in Kane’s ear.

“You heard the lady, McDermott.”

Kane shook his head. “She’s got a choice. X-rays at the hospital or ice at home until I know if there’s swelling.”

Though she should be used to it, Kayla bristled at his take-charge attitude. Still a tiny part of her reveled in the attention, probably because there wouldn’t be much more in her future.

Her heart clenched in denial. “I’ll take the ice at home.” At the very least, their goodbye would be in private.

KAYLA’S FREEZER LOOKED about as empty as Kane’s apartment. The place he called home. The place he’d be returning to tonight, alone. He slammed the door closed hard.

“Don’t take your anger out on the appliances. I can’t afford new ones,” Kayla yelled from the couch in the next room.

“I can’t find an ice pack,” he called back.

“That’s because, despite how many times I’ve been hurt this week alone, we’re not accident-prone around here. There are plastic bags in the top drawer. You can put some ice cubes in there.”

He popped freshly made cubes into the clear bag and joined her in the room she called the family room. Ridiculous word, he thought. It conjured images he wanted to run from. Visions of sitting beside Kayla in comfortable silence, of warm sheets, and confidences…of their legs tangled together in her bed. Leaving her wouldn’t be easy, but he had no choice. She deserved better than him and, Lord knew, he didn’t deserve her.

She’d propped her ankle on a double set of pillows. After checking out the swelling, he realized it wasn’t nearly as bad as he’d first thought. A bad bruise at the very worst. Still a little first aid couldn’t hurt so he laid the ice on her elevated foot.

A shudder rippled through her.

“Cold?” he asked.

She nodded.

He could warm her. The thought hovered unspoken, but the need to act on it was clear. Selfish, but clear. One minute he was kneeling on the floor by the couch, the next he was lying prone beside her-and not easily. The narrow cushions weren’t made for two.

“It’s cramped, but I like it,” she said.

He’d been around her long enough to recognize the sensual undertone. The unintentional but blatant desire in her voice touched something inside him, probably because he recognized the same longing in himself.

“I’m warmer now,” she murmured.

“I know.” Shared body heat had never felt so good. Her breath blew softly against his cheek and the swell of her breast pressed against his arm.

Before he could enjoy the sensation, his weight began a slow descent off the sofa’s edge. He caught himself before falling and jerked his hips back onto the couch.

Her husky laugh reverberated through his already tight body. “Your choice, Kane.”

He respected her for that. The days of power plays were over. He hadn’t planned a return to this house, but then he hadn’t counted on things playing themselves out the way they had. In the split second before he’d hit the street, he’d had a flash of Kayla lying sprawled on the pavement covered with blood. A scene he’d seen once before with a different end. She was alive, though, and offering herself to him.

A blatant invitation he could accept or decline. An invitation with no strings attached, because as she’d so boldly told him, she didn’t expect anything in return. Selfish bastard that he was, he couldn’t turn her down. He needed her too much. One last battle lost before he waged his final campaign. He glanced toward the front door, knowing his last battle was one he could not let himself lose.

Before gravity could pull him back toward the floor, he shifted his weight so his legs straddled her hips. The weight of him pushed against the V of her legs with unmistakable pressure and she moaned her pleasure. The sound twisted his insides in coiled knots only she could undo.

He reached for the buttons on the prim and proper shirt she’d changed into earlier at his urging. She’d already removed the wire on the way home. Keeping his eyes on the road had been damned near impossible, but he’d managed. Barely.

He worked at the buttons with shaking hands, reminiscent of his first attempt as a teenager in the backseat of an old beat-up thing his uncle had called a car. The only difference was this wasn’t nerves causing the problem, but overwhelming desire that could no longer be restrained.

“The hell with this,” he muttered. He grabbed the sides of her shirt in each hand and pulled.

Little pearl-like things popped and scattered in myriad directions. Kayla gasped. Kane looked down, and his breath caught in his throat. Her cleavage swelled above the lace border of her bra, while her nipples stood erect against the white material. He brushed each distended peak with his thumbs. She sucked in a ragged breath and her hips jerked involuntarily beneath him.

Catching him by surprise, she reached out and grabbed his shirt in her fists, pulling him down and easing him over her. He didn’t wait for her next move, but captured her mouth in a kiss as possessive as it was desperate. And wasn’t that what he was? What he’d been since the day he’d met Kayla Luck? Desperate for her love and acceptance, knowing he could take neither?

Her rounded breasts pressed flush against his chest, molding to his body as if she was made to lie against him like this, be with him like this, forever. Before he could react to that thought, she kissed him back, her tongue sweeping inside his mouth, in an act of possession all her own. She did what nothing else could-she distracted him, stopped the thoughts rolling in his head that told him he had to leave, until he could think of nothing but her. Until he was filled with her feel, her touch, her scent.

Her lower body mimicked the slick motion of her tongue as she writhed in frustration against the barrier of clothing still separating them. Her fingers, still gripping his shirt, curled tighter and pinched his skin. Without warning, her body began a violent trembling. She was obviously near the edge, as desperate as he was to join together on one last ride.

“Kane.” She spoke his name into his mouth.

“Hmm.” He raised his head and stared into the gorgeous green eyes that would stay with him always. “What is it, sweetheart?”

“My foot’s numb.”

“Huh?” That was the last thing he’d expected to hear.

“The ice. Get it off my foot,” she said with a frustrated laugh, shaking her injured leg in an obvious effort to dislodge the pack. “Please.”

He grabbed for the plastic bag with one hand.

“Ahh.” She drew the word out in a long, satisfied sigh.

He laughed. “And here I thought it was my place to make you sigh with pleasure…but if it’s ice that works for you…” He opened the zipped seal and reached inside. “Far be it from me to deny you.” He held one melting ice cube over her chest.

Her eyes opened wide, watched as he traced the outline of lace with the cold block of ice. He eased the cube back and forth, pausing only when water accumulated, to lick the droplets from her soft skin. Her eyes glazed with pleasure and need. The sounds coming from the back of her throat aroused him like nothing else could. His body screamed in taut agony, begging for release.

She grabbed for his shirt, this time pulling the edge from the waistband of his jeans. He helped her pull the shirt over his head and toss it onto the floor. But when she made a grab for his zipper-fly, Kane paused. He wanted to let her continue. He wanted to shuck his jeans, remove hers and finish what he’d just begun.

But that was the point. He’d just begun. If this was their final time together, he wanted it to last.

His fingers were damp with water and a small cube remained in his hand. He traced her full lips easing his finger inside her mouth and leaving the ice on her tongue. The kiss that followed was erotic and hot, a mixture of ice-cold and Kayla’s warmth. He nearly came right then.

But the bag wasn’t empty. With the last ice cube, he went back to the drawing board. He cupped her full breast in one hand and followed the pattern on the lace cup with the other. She groaned, then laid her head back on the couch in obvious submission. He took his sweet time, circled her breast with excruciating slowness. Each turn brought him closer to his goal, to the hardened peak at the center. At that last touch, her back arched and only his hips kept her anchored in place.

She raised her head and met his gaze. “Games are over, Kane.”

“Believe me, I’m not playing any…”

“Yes, you are…” She licked her damp lips with her tongue. “And they’re finished. Not that I’m not enjoying them, but control time is over.”

He shouldn’t be surprised she knew his intentions before he’d even figured them out himself. She read him well; she always had. Right now he didn’t care and wasn’t about to argue. He wanted her so badly he shook with it, he needed her so much he ached.

At that moment, Kane knew, he’d probably ache for the rest of his life. But not Kayla. She’d get over this, get over him. Not a thought he wanted to entertain now.

He paused only to remove the last articles of clothing that separated them, then swung one leg over her already parted legs. His touch found her damp and wet, waiting only for him. Bracing his hands on her outer thighs, Kane drove himself home.

HER SKIN WAS STILL tingling from where the ice had touched her flesh. Her heart was still beating in overtime from the intensity she’d found in his arms. Kane had done everything she’d dreamed of, and some things she hadn’t.

He’d lost control. Ceded a part of himself to her in passion. How ironic that in the giving, Kayla knew she’d lost him.

They dressed in silence, like the two strangers they’d once been, not the friends and lovers they’d become. But she’d made a promise and she intended to hold herself to it. I don’t expect anything from you. When this is over, you can walk away without looking back. I won’t stop you. Time to respect her own words…even if her heart was breaking.

He pulled his shirt over his head and tucked it into his jeans. The rasp of the zipper echoed in the awkward silence.

He turned toward her. “If the ankle swells, you’ll call…”

“I’ll call a doctor,” she reassured him. If he was going to leave, the least he could do was get out quick.

He nodded. “Good. You can use ice tonight…” His voice trailed off. Just the mention of the everyday item caused ripples of sensual awareness to prickle over her skin. Kayla rubbed her hands up and down her arms, but the chill remained. She supposed she’d have to get used to the feeling.

She rose from the couch, careful to keep the pressure off her injured foot. She wanted to face Kane for the last time standing and poised, not hobbling like an invalid. He was great at caring for the needy. The last thing she wanted was to be the victim who needed his protection once more.

The many facets of Kane McDermott made sense to her now. Not that the knowledge could change things.

In Kane’s mind, each case brought the chance to redeem himself for failing his mother, for failing himself. Remain in control, don’t lose focus-those were his mottos. And most especially, don’t give anything up emotionally…because if he did, he risked repeating the past. If he loved, he risked losing again. Kane had been closed up for too long to take that kind of risk now.

Kayla knew it from firsthand experience. Each time he opened up, the old fear gripped him and he shut down again. She glanced at the rigid set of his jaw. He’d shut down now.

She couldn’t fight the past for him. She’d just come through fighting her own. As a result, she had no choice but to let him go.

“Don’t forget to come down tomorrow and make your statement.”

She sucked in a harsh breath. She’d forgotten she wasn’t through dealing with Kane on all levels yet.

His expression softened. “I’ll be making mine tonight and I’ll be off all next week. Reid will take good care of you.”

Obviously he’d read her mind. She shrugged. “Whatever. If you’re finished taking care of me, would you mind just…” She gestured to the door, an excuse to swallow the lump in her throat. “Just go, Kane. It won’t get any easier.”

His curt nod was abrupt, his features schooled into that damned unreadable mask he’d perfected over the years. If only she hadn’t seen him laughing…or in the throes of passion…she might not hurt so badly right now.

He stood beside her. His hand reached out to touch her cheek. “If you need anything…”

She drew a deep breath. His unique scent enveloped her, making her feel warm and cherished. An illusion, she reminded herself. “I won’t.”

He nodded and withdrew his hand. His gaze met hers once more before he turned and headed for the door. The bleakness she glimpsed in his eyes betrayed him, but she knew better than to think he’d act on his feelings.

“Bye, Kane.”

The door closed behind him. A silent goodbye. She had to admit, the man was good. Too good, she thought and turned to clean up the remnants of living with Kane McDermott.

“IT’S BEEN A WEEK SINCE we swept the underworld,” Reid said. The older man rounded Kane’s desk and took a seat across the way. “And what a week it’s been.” He kicked his feet on top of the aging, dented metal and exhaled a grunt of satisfaction.

“You always were modest, boss.” But in this case Reid’s pride was understandable. For all Kane’s concern over Kayla’s welfare, not once had he considered the possibility that Charmed! had been tied to organized crime. No one had. The signs weren’t there.

But Kayla’s uncle had been a small-time operator looking to make it with the big boys. He’d taken all the risk and cut them in on a huge profit in the hopes of proving his loyalty. He hadn’t counted on his wife, Kayla’s aunt, getting cold feet. She’d threatened to turn over the books she’d been keeping as insurance to the police. As a result, both had met their untimely ends. The remaining key players in the scheme had counted on the very thing Kayla despised. They figured the bimbo niece in need of cash would play ball, and business would continue as usual.

She’d been in more danger than anyone realized at the time. The realization still had the power to churn Kane’s gut and turn him ice-cold. The thought of Kayla haunted him twenty-four hours a day. Erotic dreams caused tossing and turning at night and softer memories left him unfocused during the day.

“Let me gloat, McDermott.”

Kane shifted his attention back to his boss.

“After all these years I’ve earned it. I’m this close to retirement…” Reid gestured with one hand. “And I never figured on going out on a case this big.”

Kane laughed at the excitement in his superior’s voice. “As soon as he heard the words murder charge, our pal spilled names, dates, hits-cases we never thought we’d solve and guys we never thought we’d nail.”

Reid grinned. “Amazing what the promise of the Witness Protection Program will do to a guy’s sense of loyalty.”

“He was loyal,” Kane countered. “To number one.”

“And what about you?”

Kane stood, shoving his seat backward so hard the chair hit the wall. “What the hell is that supposed to mean? You’re questioning my loyalty?”

Reid didn’t flinch. “Not to the department, no. But to yourself? Yes.”

Kane groaned and eased himself back into his chair. Father-mode had obviously kicked in again. “Tell you what. You worry about retiring on a high, and I’ll worry about myself.”

“Will you? I don’t think you’ve given a crap about yourself since the day your mother walked in front of a moving bus.”

Kane didn’t question where he’d gotten the information. His life was an open record to those who needed to know. But Kane never spoke of his past aloud. Not to anyone…except Kayla.

Reid might have taken a fatherly interest in Kane, but Kane had never confided personal specifics in return. “If you were anyone else, I’d slug you for bringing that up,” he muttered. And if he’d been feeling anything like himself in the week since he’d walked out on Kayla, Kane might have shut the old man down anyway.

But he’d been a walking miserable, bleary-eyed son of a bitch. He figured hearing Reid out couldn’t hurt. Hell, at this point, it just might help.

“Have you seen her?” Reid asked.

“Who?”

The captain rose from his seat. “Know what, McDermott? I have to meet the D.A. for lunch and I don’t have the time to play who’s dumber with you. You want to live life alone, the way you have been, go right ahead. You want to let her walk out of your bed and into someone else’s…”

“Hey.”

“Hey, what? I just told you I’m through playing who’s dumber. You win that award hands down anyway.” Reid braced his hands on the desk. “The lady makes you a human being, McDermott.”

“Go play footsie with the D.A. I don’t need this crap.”

“No, but you need her.” Reid straightened. “By the way, you did a hell of a job on this case, Kane.” The older man’s voice softened. “You called it as something before even I believed the lady needed protection, you kept her safe and coached her good. I’m proud of you, son.”

Kane’s mouth grew dry. Before he could answer, Reid disappeared out the station door.

CLOSED. At least temporarily. Kayla flipped the sign on the inside of the door so the word faced the busy street. Charmed! was no more. Kayla and Catherine had sold out.

“What next?” Catherine asked.

“Beats me. Your tuition is paid in full for the year, so that’s not a concern.”

She frowned. “It is to me. If I’d known back in September how this would turn out…”

“You’d have taken the money anyway. I have a career to fall back on. Now you will, too.”

“Accounting?” Catherine scowled. “How can you even consider going back to number crunching after all the changes and excitement in your life?”

“Excitement is overrated,” Kayla said wryly. Excitement meant Kane, and he was gone. Time to move on, she thought, no matter how difficult. Despite how it sounded to her sister, Kayla didn’t intend to fall back into the old Kayla mode. Not for long, anyway. “Accounting is practical and it’ll pay the bills.”

“The sale of the business will pay the worst of the bills until we get back on our feet. Accounting isn’t you. It’s the woman you were before all this.” Her arm swept the expanse of the room. “It’s the woman who wore trousers and buttoned-to-the-collar silk blouses…” Cat’s voice trailed off as she caught sight of Kayla’s outfit.

The black knit slacks and the light blue silk top had been the least offensive things in her closet. “I own one pair of jeans, Cat. They were dirty. Cut me some slack.”

“Only if you go shopping, and soon.”

“When I can afford it,” she reminded her overindulgent sister. They might have made a small profit on the notorious business, but there were loans, bills and other necessities that made frivolous spending impossible.

“I can take a leave of absence from school, we can get back next semester’s tuition…”

“Not a chance. You’ll finish.”

Silence reigned for all of thirty seconds. “Okay. I’ll cook, you’ll count, until the school year is finished. Then we switch. I make the money, you go back to school.”

Kayla shook her head. “School, books, language degrees…I’m tired of those things. I just didn’t realize it until…” Kane.

Her sister smiled and tilted her head in a sympathetic gesture Kayla recognized immediately.

“Don’t worry about me, Cat. I’ll be fine.”

“I know. And as long as you’re free for the foreseeable future, I have an idea I want to run by you. For a new business. A catering business. We’ll start small and offer every kind of service imaginable-decorations, hors d’oeuvres, serving, catering, party-planning-we can use what’s left of the money for start-up costs.” She paused for breath. “And eventually I’ll get to use my cooking skills full time while your talent for organization will keep the business going. We’ll target small parties at first and then try for the bigger clients once we establish a reputation. I thought…”

Kayla laughed. “Slow down, Cat.” She shook her head at her sister’s enthusiasm, though she had to admit she liked the idea of planning parties instead of crunching numbers. “It sounds ambitious…”

“But you love it. And get this name. Pot Luck.” Catherine emphasized each word with her hands. “Slogan, We Meet Your Every Need.”

Kayla rolled her eyes. “I think our family’s already been down that route.”

“So capitalize on innuendo and imagination. We weren’t involved. Heck, you made headlines bringing down the mob.”

“You’re exaggerating.”

Catherine laughed. “Yeah. But I made you smile for the first time all week-since that lousy son of a bitch betrayed my faith in him and walked out.”

“He did what he had to do.” Kane hadn’t gotten past losing his mother or his supposed role in her death. Kayla had spent much of the last week at the library researching psychology books on suicide, the people who remained and guilt complexes. Many of the articles she’d read described Kane’s withdrawal and resulting pain perfectly.

The knowledge didn’t take away her regret or loneliness, but it did help her to understand the man she’d loved and lost. Kane had never let go of his guilt, anger and fear. He probably never would.

“You’re too forgiving.” Catherine picked up the letter opener on the desk. “Personally I’d like to slit his throat…or that other part of his anatomy. The only part he was thinking with when he…”

“Enough. He doesn’t deserve it. I’m dealing without Kane just fine.”

“Say that enough times and maybe I’ll believe it. Better yet, maybe you’ll believe it. He hurt you, and you have to acknowledge that. At the very least, vent and you’ll feel better.”

“Is that why you’re twirling a letter opener in your hand and issuing empty threats against Kane? To get me in touch with my feelings?”

Cat grinned. “Whatever works.”

The bells over the shop door tinkled, distracting her attention. Sunlight gleamed through the doorway and the front windows, blinding in its intensity.

“Afternoon, ladies.”

Kayla shut her eyes against the harsh glare…and the sound of the deep, familiar voice. She was dreaming again, just as she had been last night, awakening with her clothing damp with sweat, her thighs tingling from an erotic, sexy dream starring…

“Isn’t someone going to speak?” Kane asked.

“You’d better be here to grovel because I’m not about to let you hurt her again.”

“Good to see you, too, Catherine.”

At the sound of their bickering, Kayla opened her eyes. Kane stood inside, leaning against the bookshelves on the side wall, out of the sun’s glare. He’d entered, but his wary expression told her he was by no means sure of his welcome. He might be uncertain, but he wasn’t unsure. Power and sexuality oozed from every delectable inch of him.

His penetrating stare shifted from Catherine to Kayla. “Do you want me to leave?” he asked in a controlled voice.

Her heart squeezed tight in her chest. Of course, she didn’t want him to leave. Yet how could she subject herself to any more pain? Whether she heard what he had to say now, or asked him to leave later, the result would be the same. He’d pick up and go. His intentions had always been clear. She’d just been too stubborn to heed them.

Kayla exhaled, knowing she had no choice. She loved him enough to hear him out, even if it was just department business that brought him. The thought nearly suffocated her.

She turned to her sister. “Catherine, I think you should go.”

Catherine shrugged and headed for the desk chair where she’d deposited her coat. “Your choice. I just hope he proves himself worth it.”

Kane glanced over Cat’s head to meet Kayla’s gaze. “Is she going to be this tough for the rest of my life?” he asked, a grin edging his mouth.

She wanted to kiss him. She wanted him to leave before he could hurt her even more. Her hands squeezed into fists at her side. “Probably.”

Catherine grabbed her shoulder bag. She shot a glance at Kayla before zeroing in on Kane. “You think this is tough, you haven’t seen anything yet.”

“Goodbye, Catherine.” Kayla urged her sister out with her tone of voice.

“I’m going. But you do realize this is getting to be a habit. Him showing up, you kicking me out, him showing up…” Despite Catherine’s warning, laughter tinged her voice. Even the tougher Luck sister had a soft spot for Kane McDermott. It didn’t bode well for Kayla.

Catherine eased past Kane, slipping beneath his arm and out the door, still muttering aloud the entire time.

“She means well,” Kayla said.

“I know. Do you stick up for me the same way when I’m out of earshot?” he asked.

She licked her dry lips, barely able to speak now that they were alone. “A bad habit of mine.”

“What is?”

“Sticking up for people I lo…” No. She couldn’t lay her heart out for him to trample once more. “What do you want from me, Kane? I made my statement, the captain’s filled me in on all I need to know and we said our goodbyes.” She nearly choked on the word.

“Well, that’s the thing. We didn’t-say our goodbyes, that is.”

“I don’t like games.” Not when they hurt her so badly.

“Believe me, sweetheart, this is no game. Think back. You said goodbye, I didn’t.”

“Is that why you came back? To make sure I knew the score? I’m not stupid, Detective.”

His gaze darkened. “I never thought you were.”

She knew that. Kane of all people had given her intelligence due respect. Lashing out was the only way she knew to protect herself from what was to come. She just wished she knew exactly what that was.

“I just don’t need the word spelled out to know you aren’t coming back, that I shouldn’t expect anything from you in the future.” Her breath caught in her throat and she had to pause for air, until the ability to speak without showcasing her emotions returned. She’d never felt more fragile. “We already covered everything important.”

“Not quite everything.” He stepped toward her, determined, sexy and sure. Just as he had been the first time, when her life had changed forever.

He grasped her hand and held on tight. He might as well have gripped her heart in his fist. “Did you ever think I didn’t say the word goodbye because I didn’t mean it?” he asked.

Frustration filled her. She’d had enough of double-talk, word games and drawing out the inevitable pain. “Just like you didn’t say I love you because you don’t?” She regretted the impulsive, straight-talking words the minute they left her mouth, but once spoken, the truth lay between them.

She tried to jerk her hand free, but he held on with an iron grip. Ignoring his heat was impossible. As always, it elicited an answering liquid warmth inside of her.

She resented the easy hold he had over her, the way he could make her react despite her better judgment. She sighed. “Look, I accepted your limitations, Kane. Now accept mine. You know how I feel about you, so please respect me enough to…”

“Explain?”

“I have a pretty good handle on the whys. I’d rather you just left me alone. It’s better for both of us. I know for sure you feel the same way.”

“That’s what I thought. What I kept telling myself, even as I walked out your front door. But it’s not true. I’m a better man with you by my side…and I’d like to think the reverse is true.”

His sheepish grin gave rise to spiraling hope deep inside her. Foolish hope. But he had come back. And that was more than she’d ever thought possible.

“And even if you’re better off without me, I’m selfish enough to ask you to stay with me anyway.”

Kayla’s heartbeat tripled and she could barely catch her breath. Kane had never spoken beyond the present before and that was promising. But many other words had been spoken, too.

“What about your edge?” she asked carefully, working hard to bank her hope and her emotions. “You said I distract you…I threaten your ability to be the best cop, the best man, you can be.”

“I was wrong. You make me be the best I can be.” His fingers tightened around hers. “You were right. I’ve been hanging on to a lot of old guilt, trying to atone with each new case, and making sure I remained miserable in the process.”

The future suddenly loomed wide before her, full of possibilities. Full of love. She’d invested all her hopes in this man and he’d come through. She hoped she could repay the gift with a lifetime of love and acceptance.

She glanced at his strained expression, a result of facing his past and baring his soul. For her. “She was your mother. She wouldn’t have wanted that, Kane.”

He nodded. Kane had told himself the same thing. “I know that now.” Reid’s unwavering faith in him over the years had finally sunk into his thick skull.

The older man had been right. He’d stopped feeling the day his mother walked in front of that bus. And he hadn’t started again until he’d walked in this front door for the first time.

“I haven’t given you much reason to believe this, but you’re wrong.” He looked into liquid green eyes and for the first time let himself hope for the future. “I didn’t say I love you-not because I don’t, but because I was afraid I didn’t deserve you.”

“And now?” A pink flush stained her cheeks.

“I still don’t deserve you, but I’ll be damned if I’ll let you go.”

“There’s that control thing again,” she said with a laugh.

Her huge smile eased the tightening in his chest he’d been living with all week. The tightening in other areas, well, Kayla would ease that as well.

“I might let you get away with it this time.” She braced her hands on his shoulders. “But you have to say the words, Kane.”

He met her gaze head on. “I love you,” he said.

She threw herself against his chest, crushing her breasts against him. He inhaled her lemony scent and groaned aloud. “I could get used to this,” he said and laughed.

“You’d better, because now that I’ve got you, I’m not letting you go, either.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

Her hands slipped downward and into the back pockets of his old jeans. She gripped him hard in both hands.

“I hope you’re thinking what I’m thinking,” Kane said. “Because, otherwise, you’re playing with fire.”

Her soft laugh inflamed his desire. “Want to get Lucky, Detective?”

Those were the last words spoken between them for a good, long while.