Siren Beloved

Chapter Thirteen

Soft afternoon light filtered in through the thin, worn kitchen curtains as Lucas walked in from the yard. Sweat poured off his body, but the work was done. He’d left Aidan and Lexi sleeping, wrapped in each other’s arms. Lucas had never been a napper, but he did believe in getting the job done. They had left the day’s work undone, and that didn’t sit well with him.

“Damn, I need a shower,” Bo said as he trailed behind Lucas.

“Yeah, that’s ranch work for you.” Lucas had found Bo on the range, fixing part of the fence. It had surprised him since Dwight, the foreman, had gone on and on about how useless the young man was. Dwight and the rest of the hands were busy moving the herd from the south field north. Lucas had stopped the truck and given Bo a hand. After that, Bo had been like a puppy following him everywhere.

Somewhere along the way, Bo had dropped his tough guy act and started to act like a real human being. He’d asked about Lexi and been open to talking about his childhood on the ranch. It was exactly as Lucas had suspected. Bo missed his brother and was sick of being thought of as a fuckup.

“Damn, Lucas, I’m sorry,” a wry voice cut through the quiet. Dwight walked in from the office, a thick stack of papers in his hand. “If I had known he was going to bug you all day, I would have sent him into town or something.”

Lucas felt his eyes narrow. Something about Dwight just didn’t sit right. Maybe Bo deserved Dwight’s scorn. Lucas had watched the younger O’Malley act like an ass, but it just didn’t fit. “He was very helpful. He taught this city slicker a thing or two.”

Bo snorted. “Hell, you know a lot about ranching.”

“His brother is our new boss,” Dwight pointed out. “You know, the one you curse on a regular basis?”

Bo flushed, but Lucas had to laugh. “Hell, I curse Jack regularly, too. I worked for the bastard for a year, and every summer while I was in law school. I cursed him just a couple of hours ago. You should know that he’s in town.”

Bo’s eyes were on his boots. “I just didn’t want to change. My dad did things a different way.”

“I understand,” Lucas replied. “Change isn’t easy. Your brother is proof of that. He wasted years of all our time because he wasn’t ready to change.”

A loud shout slammed through the room with the power of a fist hitting flesh. It was a masculine scream for help, and then Lexi’s voice cut through the wail.

“Lucas!”

Lucas took off running. He burst through the bedroom door. Lexi had Aidan in her arms, trying to shake him awake. He was caught, seemingly in a fever, his body shaking, pulsing as though it was being hit over and over.

“Oh, god, he’s dreaming about it again.” Bo turned on his heels and left.

Lucas didn’t have time to worry about Bo, though it pissed him off that he would leave when his brother was in distress.

“He needs to take his damn pills.” Dwight stared down at Aidan with a frown on his face.

Lexi had tossed on Aidan’s shirt, but Aidan was tangled in the sheets. Aidan was talking, but Lucas couldn’t make out what he was saying. He was pleading with someone to stop.

“Stand down!” Aidan said it over and over.

Lucas tried to shake him awake, hating both the way his Master was vulnerable and the desperate look in Lexi’s eyes. “Aidan, wake up. Wake up!”

“If only he took his pills. You’re his—whatever the two of you are,” Dwight started, sounding disgusted with the whole thing. “Make him take his pills.”

“Maybe what he needs is to remember what happened to him,” Lucas said resolutely. He couldn’t go on like this. Aidan was fighting invisible monsters. He needed to push past his mental block and figure this out.

There was a loud bark and then that enormous dog, Ike, was bounding into the room, Bo following after him. He jumped onto the bed. Lucas started to pull him off.

“Don’t,” Bo said. “Ike is the only one who can calm him down.”

The dog whined a little and licked his master’s face. Aidan’s eyes almost immediately came open. He blinked, his hand coming up to pet the dog. He looked around as though trying to remember where he was.

“I was dreaming again.” Aidan’s voice sounded gravely, as though the shouting had done damage.

“Yes,” Lucas said, his heart calming down.

Despite Lexi’s stubborn claims that everything between her and Aidan was sex, she was clutching him to her breast, talking to him in soothing tones. Aidan wasn’t trying to be macho. He let Lexi hold him.

“You’re a good boy,” Lexi said, patting the dog.

“The dog was with you in Iraq?” Lucas asked. He’d heard stories of soldiers bringing back the dogs they found.

“Yes,” Aidan said. He held on to Lexi like a lifeline. “He was the squad’s little mascot.”

Dwight stood at the back of the room, looking a little out of place.

“Have you told him absolutely everything you can remember about that day?” Lucas asked, his eyes narrowing on Dwight.

Dwight’s brows came together in consternation. “Of course. What would I hold back? Our whole squad got cut down by insurgents. We only survived because I dragged him to cover. I thought he was dead, to tell you the truth. I was surprised when the medic said he’d survived.”

“I had something to live for,” Aidan murmured.

“Will you let me call Leo?” Lucas asked, his mind whirling with possibilities. Aidan obviously had some form of post-traumatic stress. “He would know something about this. Julian says Leo is an excellent therapist, and he served in Afghanistan. He might be able to help.”

“I’ve been seeing Leo for a while,” Aidan admitted. “Julian wouldn’t let me in The Club without Leo’s okay. Leo wants to get me under hypnosis. I didn’t think it was a great idea, but I seem to be getting worse. And I hate those pills. They make me groggy all day, Dwight, so don’t mention them again.”

“I was just trying to help. I can see you don’t need me now. I’ll get back to work.” Dwight slid out of the room, his boots quiet on the floor.

“Come on, Ike,” Bo said, slapping his hands together. The dog was reluctant, but Bo pulled out a stick of beef jerky. “You know you want it.”

Ike gave up his precious master in favor of flavored, dehydrated beef. A wisp of a smile traced over Bo’s face.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better, brother.” Bo’s smile turned distinctly wolfish. “And it was really nice to see you again, Lexi. All of you. I mean, you are really looking fine, darling. My brother is not good enough for you.”

Lucas glanced down and snorted a little when he realized what Bo was talking about. “Baby, you should pull that shirt down. You don’t have any underwear on.”

“Oh, my god!” Lexi shouted. She pulled the covers up and tossed a pillow at Bo’s fleeing body. His laughter rang through the room as he opened the door to allow both him and the dog out.

He turned back one last time. “I am younger than him, you know. And way prettier.”

“You’re going to be way deader if you don’t stop looking at my girl!” Aidan shouted the warning, but there was a lightness to it. He was playing with his brother, and from the look on his face, Lucas could tell it made Aidan happy.

“Everyone got a glimpse of my cootchie today,” Lexi grumbled.

“Naw.” Aidan pulled her back down and snuggled against her. “Just me and Lucas, and your mom, and Karen, and Sam and Dwight and Bo. That’s all. Jack was taking care of the kids. So not everyone. Oh, and yesterday it was everyone at The Club.”

Lexi slapped at him playfully. “I am going to be fully dressed from now on.”

Lucas wasn’t going to allow that to happen. He tossed his sweaty body right in the middle of the bed, covering both Lexi and Aidan.

“Lucas, you smell so bad!” Lexi tried to get away, but he and Aidan held her down.

“He smells like a working man, angel. Get used to it.” Aidan seemed to be on the same wavelength as Lucas.

“Besides, we have a few hours before we meet your mom and stepdads.” Lucas leaned in for a kiss. “We can all take a shower.”

“After,” Aidan said, his hand pulling Lexi’s shirt off.

“After,” Lucas agreed.

Lexi walked across the fair grounds, the neon lights playing through the night. Blues and pinks and greens twinkled all around her. The smell of funnel cakes frying tickled her nose. Lucas and Aidan had wandered off to grab hot dogs. Olivia shouted her joy about everything. She loved the games and the food and the rides.

Lexi followed her family, feeling strangely out of place. She was intensely aware of everything moving around her. The world was flowing and changing, but she felt stuck in place. She’d spent the entire afternoon in Aidan’s arms. While she was there, she hadn’t thought about it. She’d just let herself be. But now she was back to reality.

He’d left her. He’d walked out on her, blaming her for things that weren’t her fault. Aidan had been gone long enough that he’d changed in almost unfathomable ways. And when he came back, he’d done it under false pretenses. How was she supposed to forgive that?

And how would she ever tell him what had happened to her while he’d been off figuring himself out?

“Alexis?” Her mother slowed down to walk beside her. “Are you all right?”

She nodded and made her best attempt at a bright smile. “I’m great.”

“I want to ride the Ferris wheel!” Olivia motored by, making a beeline for the rides.

“I want to ride the bumper cars!” Sam yelled, winking at his wife as he ran after their daughter. Jack was more leisurely, walking with Josh on his hip. Lexi looked away from the sight of her baby brother.

Her mother’s mouth was tight as she crossed her arms over her chest. “Are you going to be able to forgive Jack?”

Lexi sighed. That wasn’t the biggest question of the day, but she knew how much her mother was worried about it. “I can forgive him, Mom. I don’t want to cause trouble between the two of you.”

“He did that all by himself,” Abby said. “He’s not perfect, you know. His instinct is to protect.”

“By tricking me into getting involved with a man who ripped my heart out?”

Abby stopped, and she stared at the ground for a moment. “I’ve been thinking a lot about this, baby. You’ve been lost since Aidan left. My first instinct was to get really mad at Jack for bringing him back into your life. You’ve been with Lucas. But I’ve been fooling myself. I think I’ve seen what I wanted to see. I told myself that you and Lucas were happy.”

“We are happy.”

“Oh, baby, you’re not functional.” Her mother’s hazel eyes held a sheen of tears that threatened to rip Lexi’s heart out. “You and Lucas don’t work without someone like Aidan. I know the rest of the world doesn’t get how this works, but some people have two soul mates. Could Jack and I have been happy without Sam? Maybe, but we wouldn’t have been complete. Sam and I would have been lost without Jack. I only know that I was lucky enough to find both of them. You and Lucas have been fumbling. I know you weren’t making love, and that’s so important. You are now, and I think Aidan had something to do with it.”

An uncomfortable feeling took a hold of Lexi’s gut. “We would have gotten there.”

“I know what Jack did was manipulative, but he did it because he loves you. He did it because he was scared. He spent almost a year really getting to know Aidan. Jack brought Aidan into his business. His herd is now affiliated with Barnes-Fleetwood.”

Lexi felt her mouth fall open. “He did what?”

“He’s made Aidan a partner in Barnes-Fleetwood. Junior, but a partner. Jack believes in him. I know that man. I know his heart. He would never have done that if he thought Aidan wasn’t the best thing in the world for you and Lucas. I was mad at first, but I saw you today. You were more alive than you’ve been in years. God, Lexi, I want my daughter back. I spent the afternoon realizing I would have done much worse than Jack to get you back.”

Lexi looked back and thought of all the ways her mom and her stepdads had tried to engage her in the last couple of years. Jack and Sam had moved her from Austin to Dallas. They were wealthy enough to have simply paid for the move, but they had shown up and carried out her furniture and boxes and loaded them into her rented truck. They had driven her and hauled it all out again. Jack had offered job advice. Her mother had tried to get her to come out to the ranch on weekends, and when she wouldn’t, had shown up on her doorstep claiming she needed to shop. They had tried in a thousand different ways, and then Jack had brought the sledgehammer down because he wasn’t a man to give up.

And she’d felt more in the last two days than she had in years.

It wasn’t that she didn’t love Lucas. God, she loved him so much, and he loved her. But they needed Aidan. Aidan pushed them.

Lexi could forgive Jack, but she still wasn’t sure how to handle Aidan.

“I think you need to give this time, baby girl,” her mother said.

“I have a lot of that now. Aidan quit my job for me.”

Her mother smiled. The light joy on her face made her seem years younger. “He’s a Dom all right. Such pushy men, but there’s nothing like a good one. Ask yourself something. Did you love that job?”

“No, but it was mine. What am I supposed to do now?” She knew she was being stubborn. She’d been thinking about quitting the job anyway. She had money in the bank. She could always find another crap job.

“What do you want to do, Lexi? Because it occurs to me that Aidan is offering you a chance. Between Aidan and Lucas, you don’t have to work if you don’t want to. I know that sounds unliberated of me, but given the fact that your stepfathers are multi-millionaires, it’s not like you’ll be on the streets if something happens to Aidan or Lucas. You’re in a unique position, one a lot of women would kill to be in. You can follow your dream. You don’t have to work eight hours a day and then try to get some words on a page. Don’t you see? By making you quit a job you didn’t even like, Aidan is trying to give you what you need.”

“Shouldn’t that be my choice?” Again, she knew she was stupidly stubborn, but damn it, she wasn’t ready to concede yet.

“It is,” her mom said with a sad sigh. “It’s always your choice. Once the Dawson brothers figure out what’s going on with the attempt on your life, you can go back to Dallas and take up your old life. Lucas will follow you. Lucas will do whatever you decide. Jack can get you your old job back, or you can find a new one. You don’t have to see Aidan again.”

Yes, she could always just say no. She could have said no this afternoon when he’d driven his cock inside her, and she’d felt that connection she’d been missing since the day he walked out. Something had fallen into place this afternoon, some sweet sense of peace in a world that had been chaotic for too long.

God, she didn’t want to tell him what she’d done. Was that the real reason she was holding back? When she stopped thinking about the accident, she was happy with them. Lucas was thrilled. He was happier than Lexi could remember him ever being. Was she willing to give it all up so she could pretend it never happened?

“Good lord, here comes trouble.” Her mom’s lips were pursed in a frown, and her auburn hair shook as she looked at something coming across the fair grounds.

“Hey, Lexi,” Bo said, coming up behind her. He had two bags of cotton candy. He opened his mouth, Lexi assumed to say something flirty and smart, but his eyes caught on the same thing her mother was worried about. “Damn. Come on, Lexi. I can find us cover.”

Karen Wilcox led a small group of young women. They were all small town princesses in tight jeans and tops that looked like someone had taken a Bedazzler to them. There wasn’t a natural hair color among them, but damn they knew how to tease that hair. Lexi had to smile because she was sure one of those women had added almost a half a foot to her height with her hair.

“That is so awesome,” Lexi breathed.

They slunk toward her like a bejeweled pack of hyenas. This was the way she used to view the world. Each and every incident was a wild thing, something she could use down the line. The world used to be a surreal carnival. There had been sadness, yes, but even that had lit something inside her. She’d felt with her every breath. Now she could really see just how shut down she’d been.

“I’m going to go get Aidan,” Bo said, backing off a little.

“Don’t you dare,” her mother said with a little laugh. “My girl can handle this. There are only four of them. I got your back.”

“Mother, we are not starting a fight. Jack told you to stop that.” Her mom was famous for taking down younger women in bar fights. There had only been the one, but it was legendary. And Lexi had no intention of fighting with Karen. She greatly preferred the pen to the sword.

There was Karen. She was Blonde Number One. Lexi quickly named them in her head. Blonde Number Two was short with enormous boobs. She named the third Talon because she had the longest, reddest fingernails Lexi had ever seen. And the last was Mouse, a little redhead who looked like she would rather be someplace else. Lexi couldn’t help but notice how Mouse looked at Bo through over-mascaraed eyes.

“Well, well, lookie here. These are the women I told you about. These city slickers have come to grace our little town.” Karen stopped in front of her. She smiled maliciously down at Lexi. She was wearing four-inch heels to a carnival.

Her mother opened her mouth to say something, but Lexi put out a hand, silencing her. “Don’t correct her, Momma. Willow Fork has three whole stop lights. Deer Run makes Willow Fork look positively cosmopolitan.”

“Is she insulting us?” Talon cocked a hip as she looked Lexi over. “She shouldn’t be. I have no idea what Aidan sees in her.”

Bo took a step forward. “That’s Aidan’s fiancée. You need to treat her with some respect.”

“Technically, he hasn’t asked me to marry him again,” Lexi pointed out. She opened the bag of cotton candy. This looked to be an interesting argument. She might need the sugar.

“See, I told you he wouldn’t marry her.” Karen smirked as she slapped Blonde Number Two’s shoulder. “He’s trying to make me jealous. He’s making me pay for marrying someone else.”

Lexi gave her a thumbs-up. “Damn, you figured it out. I told him you were smarter than he thought you were.”

“When did you get to be so mean, baby girl?” But there was a little smile on her mother’s face.

Lexi chose to avoid confrontations when she simply didn’t give a shit about the person confronting her. Oh, she would rail and fight Lucas and Aidan all day. They would find her very stubborn indeed, but if Karen needed this to feel decent about herself, then Lexi didn’t care. If these girls wanted to think she’d been used to make Karen jealous, Lexi was okay with it. The night was nice. She had a little bag of cotton candy. Her body still hummed because the boys had been serious about those multiple orgasms. It was all good.

“Come along,” Lexi said. “We should go join the rest of them. Maybe a ride on the Ferris wheel will fix my broken heart.” Actually, it did sound like fun. And so did those bumper cars. Lexi bet Olivia would be a hell of a driver.

They all turned to go, even Bo, who seemed to feel a need to defend her but gave up when she smiled at him.

“You’re just a big city whore,” Karen taunted. “Aidan was never going to marry you. You’re just willing to do all kinds of things a lady wouldn’t do.”

Lexi stopped and turned. That was utterly unforgivable.

“Lexi,” Bo said calmly, as though trying to figure out just how to handle a dangerous animal.

“It’s all right,” she replied. “I need to make a few things clear to Karen.”

“Are we going to fight now?” her mother asked.

Lexi almost snorted. “No, Momma. Relax.”

“You got something else to say?” Karen seemed ready to throw down. She probably watched way too much reality TV.

“I do. I am entirely insulted.”

Talon’s lips curled up. “I think that was the point. Karen told us all about what you were letting those men do to you in that barn. What a whore.”

“I’m not insulted that you question my ability to attract two unbelievably hot men. I’m really not, but I won’t allow you to call me a whore. A whore accepts money in exchange for her favors. I just accept orgasms. I’m a slut. Seriously, get your lingo down.”

Karen finally looked confused. “What?”

“And while we’re at it, whore is really overused. So is slut. If you’re going to insult your sisters, please expand your vocabulary.”

Lexi was well aware that she was gathering a crowd. Several families stood watching, covering their little one’s ears, but obviously unwilling to miss the showdown between the queen bee and the city girl. She noticed Aidan and Lucas looking in. Aidan started to step forward, but Lucas stopped him, a bemused smile on his face. Lexi took it as permission to go all out.

“Let me give you some examples. First, whore isn’t exactly modern. Ho-bag, hookerbop, boom-boom girl, DPF—that stands for dirty penis face—chlamyidiot, hozo, slank…I like that one because it’s a great combo of slut and skank. You could go with dumpster if you’re really dirty. Now, that last one is a little more urbane way of saying cum dumpster, but if you’re trying to be insulting, it really works.”

There was silence from the crowd and then snickers. One very properly dressed white-haired lady in a green polyester suit actually clapped.

“Nicely done, dear. I used to be an English teacher. That girl always needed a thesaurus.”

“You’re just a crazy bitch,” Karen said, her face flushed. She looked around as though realizing just how stupid she looked.

The crowd moved fast, hauling their children away as Lexi opened her mouth to give Karen a stern lecture on how common the word bitch was.

“You’re good, baby,” Lucas said, covering her mouth with his hand.

She was quiet long enough that he took it away. “You do that a lot.”

Aidan answered for him. “Well, angel, you have quite a mouth on you.” He leaned in and kissed her cheek. “Not that I don’t love it.”

“Aidan, you can’t mean to do this,” Karen protested. “I’m done being put through hoops. I’m sorry I picked Carl over you, but he’s dead now, and we can be together. All you’re doing by running around with this…woman is causing a scandal. Can’t you see that?”

An unholy gleam lit Aidan’s eyes. “You think I’m causing a scandal now? How about this one?”

He reached out and dragged Lucas toward him, planting his lips on Lucas’s and kissing him for all he was worth. Lexi watched as everyone stopped and stared. Well, Aidan had certainly declared his intentions. For better or worse, he was out in the open.

“Well, at least the church ladies will stop talking about my beer drinking now.” Bo’s face was red, but he held his ground.

Her mother shook her head and put her arm around Bo. “Yes, I think Aidan has given them plenty to pray about.”

Aidan came up for air. “I’m not apologizing for loving someone. Not ever again.”

Karen huffed and hurried away as fast as her heels would carry her. Karen’s little pack turned and trailed after her.

“Well, you could have warned me I was coming out,” Lucas said with a frown. “I would have thrown a party.”

The retired English teacher made her way to the front. “I am so glad about this, boys. I have been waiting for years. This town is so dreary. We need your kind to spice it up. I loved Will & Grace. I was not as happy about Queer as Folk, but that Will & Grace was so funny. Could the two of you do something about town hall? It’s so dingy. I’ve been trying for years to find a good designer.”

“I will get right on that, ma’am.” Lucas stifled a laugh.

Jack walked up to the group carrying Olivia under her arms and as far from his body as possible. Lexi stared at her little sister, who seemed to be wet from head to toe.”

“She fell into the trough at the petting zoo,” Jack explained.

“That’s not giving her enough credit.” Sam jogged behind them toting a giggling Josh. “She dove in.”

“I went swimming, Momma.”

Her mother’s face fell, and she took her youngest daughter. “Let’s get her back to the motel.” She shook her head as she looked at Lexi. “I hope your first baby is as easy on you as you were on me. The second is hell on wheels.”

Lexi knew her mother meant well, but the whole night dimmed. She’d already had her first baby. And she’d lost him.

And now she had to tell his father that she’d failed.

Dwight tried to put on a calm face, but his stomach had been in knots since this afternoon. He’d thought when he’d managed to get Aidan home that he would be in control again. He was Aidan’s best friend, after all. He was the one who had stood beside Aidan in the hospital. Now he was the one Aidan ignored in favor of a couple of people he fucked.

Dwight stood by the popcorn stand and wondered what the hell he was going to do now. He’d thought if Aidan just came back, he would get into his routine, which included taking his sleeping pills. It was only when he dreamed that he started to remember that day—the worst day of Dwight’s life. If Aidan remembered, Dwight’s whole life would be over.

He should have smothered that dumb cowboy while he was in his hospital bed. Better yet, he should have made damn sure the bastard was dead that day in Fallujah.

Dwight had lived with the guilt long enough that it had turned into a strange form of entitlement. He’d made a mistake. Everyone made mistakes. It wasn’t his fault. It was the goddamn US Army’s fault for putting him in the position. He’d had a few weeks training and then he’d been shoved into combat. Was it his fault he’d panicked?

The gun had gone off on its own. It was a piece-of-shit gun anyway.

What the hell was he going to do?

Karen Wilcox stomped through the fairgrounds, making a beeline for the parking lot, her face screwed up in a mask of rage. What had put that look on her face? Karen caught sight of him and turned on her heels. Dwight had the sudden urge to flee but held his ground.

“How could you? You told me he wanted me.”

Ah, so Aidan had finally had it out with the bitch. He’d been a pussy about it. It had been easy for Dwight to convince her that Aidan was just mad that she’d chosen someone else. Karen was thirty and there weren’t a lot of prospects in a town as small as this. Dwight had fucked her a couple of times, but she wouldn’t consider him. Though Aidan might not have a ton of cash, he had land and that made him wealthy to these people. Aidan was the catch.

“Well, who wouldn’t want you, darlin’?” Dwight had found that she was very susceptible to flattery. All he had to do was tell her she was hot, and she suddenly was willing to listen to anything he said.

Karen face was bright red with rage. “And you didn’t mention that he’d gone queer. It was one thing when he was fucking that whore to get back at me, but I can’t sleep with him now. He’s kissed another man. I can’t believe it. He humiliated me in front of the whole town. Everyone’s going to say I made him gay.”

Dwight’s mind raced with the possibilities. And if everyone had seen that little drama play out, then maybe he could use it to his advantage.

“He’s insane. You could make a gay man straight with that body. Come on, darlin’, you deserve a drink. Let’s take your car.”

He walked with her, nodding at the people they passed. Everyone they walked by looked at the blonde with sympathy. They talked about her behind their hands. Dwight could tell she was getting more and more worked up with every pitying glance. Her shoulders got tight and her fists clenched. By the time he got her to her SUV, she was practically vibrating with rage.

He opened her door. He had a plan in mind, and it just might work. Dwight had talked to Aidan just moments before Karen had found him. He’d intended to gently introduce the idea of taking his sleeping pills, but Aidan hadn’t had time to talk. He’d told Dwight not to wait up. He, Lucas, and Lexi planned to stay for a while. That was just fine with Dwight. It gave him a little time to do what he needed to do.

“Why don’t we get you a drink, darlin’?”

Karen nodded. “Yes, I think I could use one.”

Or five. Once he had her drunk, she would talk and then everyone would know how mad she really was. She was the perfect scapegoat.

Dwight pulled out of the parking lot and aimed toward the bar. If he had a bit of luck, maybe his problems would all go away.