Siren Beloved

Chapter Fourteen

Two hours later, Aidan opened the door of his truck and handed Lexi up, wishing he could go back to that moment when she’d been triumphantly happy. After the smackdown with Karen, she’d practically glowed. She was Lexi, sweet and brutally sarcastic. Something had happened to shut her down again, and for the life of him he couldn’t figure out what. Had it been him kissing Lucas in public? He doubted it. Lexi had never been afraid of what other people thought.

The cab was quiet as Lucas got in and shut the door. Aidan shuffled around, putting off that moment when he had to sit beside her, when her hand didn’t find his thigh the way it used to.

With a heavy heart, he got in and started the truck. He didn’t miss the way Lucas’s hand slid over hers, their fingers entangling. They were so close. They were a unit, and he might never be one of them. He might be able to worm his way in, but they would always have had those years together without him. They had bonded because they had survived his desertion.

Did he really have the right to even try?

Maybe he should try to find them a new Dom. It was obvious they were happier with one. Lexi had been responding. He pulled the truck out of the parking lot and decided to try to understand what had gone wrong.

“What happened back there, Lexi?” He kept his voice quiet. He was as non-threatening as possible. He would never order her to tell him. There would be no punishment if she chose not to trust him, just an aching sadness in his heart. “One minute you were giving Karen hell and the next you shut down.”

He pulled onto the one-lane highway. At this time of night, it was full dark once they left the neon lights of the fair grounds. The moon was new, so the only lights in the night came from his headlights. It felt like they were the only three people in the whole world, and yet he was alone.

He thought she might ignore the question. For a few minutes, the only sound was the soft thudding whirl of the tires on the pavement.

“I’m fine,” she finally said in a small voice that lent not one ounce of credence to her words.

Aidan felt his whole soul sag. She was shutting him out.

“Lexi.” Aidan could hear the warning in Lucas’s tone.

Aidan glanced over, and Lexi’s face had hardened into a stubborn mask. “I’m fine. Maybe I don’t like small town carnivals. Maybe I don’t like having to deal with Aidan’s old high school girlfriend calling me a whore.”

“Well, I don’t think she’ll do that again,” Lucas replied. “She’ll come with a printout from Urban Dictionary before she insults you again. And that wasn’t what got you upset. You enjoyed that. We both know what upset you. I heard what your mom said to you. Don’t you think it’s time we all talked about this?”

Aidan put his eyes back on the road. There weren’t usually a lot of people driving at night through this part of the county. The road led out to his ranch and a couple of small homes, but there were deer and small animals that could jump out. He wouldn’t be the first driver to total a car on this stretch of asphalt. His eyes were on the blacktop in front of him, but his ears were focused on the conversation. What had Abby said? Had she and Lexi argued about him?

“There’s nothing to talk about, Lucas. I just want to go home and rest. It’s been a trying couple of days.” Lexi’s eyes were down, studying the dash.

“You know you’re going to have to talk about it eventually,” Lucas insisted.

Talk about what? All of his instincts were telling him this was an important conversation. Everyone had talked about Lexi hiding something that had happened to her. What the hell was it? He wanted to stop the car and force her to talk, but that would break trust with her. Lexi was like an animal he was trying to feed by hand. He couldn’t force her, or she’d run as fast as she could.

But Lucas seemed determined to do just that. “Don’t you think it’s been long enough?”

She turned on Lucas. “Drop it, Lucas, or I swear I’ll call my mom, and she’ll pick me up. I won’t give a damn about the contract or getting back into The Club.”

Aidan heard what sounded like the whine of an engine revving, but he didn’t see another car. He looked in the rearview mirror. Nothing. Maybe it was a trick of his mind. Aidan turned his eyes back to the road, but his mind was on the woman beside him. “Lexi, you don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. We can go home and go to bed. It will be better in the morning.”

He was unaccountably nervous about this conversation. Now that it was here, he wasn’t sure he wanted to have it. Indecision was clawing at his insides. It might be best for her if he let her go, but he just couldn’t do it.

“No, it won’t be better in the morning,” Lucas insisted. “It won’t go away, Aidan. She’s been trying to make this go away for years now. Don’t you think he deserves to know? Don’t you owe it to Brandon?”

Who the hell was Brandon? Aidan had been told that Lexi had only dated Lucas since they broke up. Now there was someone named Brandon? Aidan’s first instinct was to shout and try to figure out how to call the bastard out. But he’d left her. He’d walked away. If she’d slept with a hundred men, he couldn’t say a damn thing about it.

“Don’t you dare say his name, Lucas Cameron.” Lexi was practically vibrating with rage.

Lucas pointed a finger at her. Even in the darkness of the cab, Aidan could see that Lucas’s face was red, flushed with emotion. “I’m not going to do it anymore. I won’t pretend he didn’t exist. I won’t pretend it didn’t happen. You can tell him or I will.”

Aidan was just about to insert himself into the conversation. He was going to tell both of them to stay calm and wait until they got home. He needed time to figure out how to handle them. They were both on edge. Lucas was never this aggressive. Something was really upsetting him, and Lexi never yelled at Lucas. He needed to separate them and find out what was going on.

Aidan opened his mouth to take control of the situation, but the truck suddenly lurched forward. Aidan felt the truck move from the force of something hitting the back end. He had to tighten his hands on the wheel to stay in control.

“What the hell was that?” Lucas asked, craning his neck to see behind them. “I can’t see anything. Is that a car?”

It had sure felt like one.

“A drunk driver?” Lexi asked. Aidan felt her clutching his leg.

“Could be,” Aidan replied. He kept his voice measured and even. Lexi had been through this. She’d had an accident that put her in the hospital. He needed to stay calm for her sake.

He wasn’t sure he wanted to stop and sort it out with the other driver while was Lexi in the car. It was too dark and too isolated to risk her. He sped up. He’d pay for his own damage. There wasn’t anywhere to pull over. The road dropped off on either side right here. On the right there was the reservoir that fed the county, and the left sloped on to what eventually became his own land. He wasn’t far from home. He hit the accelerator.

The truck lurched again, this time harder.

“He’s trying to hit us.” Lucas’s voice was tight with anxiety.

“Don’t you take off that seat belt, Lucas,” Aidan ordered when he saw his hands moving.

“I’m trying to get a good look at him.”

“Call the cops, now.” Aidan didn’t care in that instant who was behind the wheel of the other car. Rage could come later. Now he was panicked for the people he had inside his truck. Lexi and Lucas being safe was the only thing that mattered.

Aidan forced himself to stay calm. His vision had started to recede. It was what happened when he had an episode. The world got fuzzy around the edges, and he would be able to feel the heat of Iraq on his skin. The noises around him became the never-ending sound of gunfire. He couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t let them down.

He focused on Lucas’s voice, calmly requesting assistance from the 911 operator. He concentrated on Lexi’s hand on his leg.

He looked for anywhere to go. The truck pitched, jerking forward in a chaotic movement. There were only two lanes here, but a half a mile ahead, the ground to the left became flat. He could pull off the road and see if the man followed.

Aidan watched the road ahead of him, waiting for that moment when the ground leveled. Then he could make his move.

The air around them cracked with the sound of an engine roaring. The sound seemed to get closer with each second.

“He’s passing us,” Lexi said with an irritated sigh. “What an asshole.”

Aidan tried to slow down to allow him to pass. He got a quick glimpse of an SUV, and then it slammed into the side of the truck.

“Fuck,” Aidan cursed as he tried to regain control. He felt the wheels grasping for purchase. The world was tilting on its side.

“Hold on,” he heard Lucas say.

There was one final crash, and the truck began to tumble. Over and over. Aidan thought it rolled three or four times before it hit the water with a slapping splash. His head snapped forward. The seat belt bit into his chest. He had to force his eyes open. The world seemed out of place.

Upside down. He felt gravity working against him. He hung in his seat against the belt. The car had flipped. Everything was dark, so stinking dark. They were sinking to the bottom of the reservoir. Only the headlights showed anything at all and that was a watery universe. Ghostly light filtered in.

Aidan clawed at his belt, finally managing to get it off. He fell forward, his chest hitting the steering wheel. He had to get them all out of here. The reservoir was large, serving the entire county. It wasn’t a recreational lake. It had been dug thirty feet deep in the middle, and it hadn’t been a dry spring. The reservoir had overflowed at times. Aidan tried to think. Here at the edge it couldn’t be more than ten, maybe fifteen feet down, but it didn’t matter if they couldn’t get out of the vehicle.

He tried the door. It didn’t budge.

“Aidan?” Lucas finally came to, and Aidan could hear him trying to click the belt.

“Don’t panic. You’re upside down. Prepare to fall when you get out of the belt.” Aidan tried the power window. His side had taken the hit. He could already feel every muscle in his body screaming, but he wouldn’t give in.

There was a muffled groan as Lucas made it out of his belt.

Aidan’s window wouldn’t move. There was no hope for it. There was so little room to move. He couldn’t get his boot up to break the window. The truck thudded as it hit the bottom. Aidan moved to pull Lexi out of her belt, cushioning her fall with his body. She dropped into his arms. Water dripped on her face.

“She’s breathing.” He had to thank god for small miracles.

“Aidan?” Lexi’s voice sounded tiny, but Aidan’s heart leapt at the sound.

“Hush, angel. We’re in a little trouble, but Lucas and I are going to get you out of here. You just hold on to me and don’t let go. Lucas, try your window. It’s the only way out. I can’t fit through the back window. If the window doesn’t work, we’ll smash through the back and shove Lexi out of here.”

Lexi’s arms tightened around his neck. “I’m not going anywhere without the two of you.”

Sweet words, but he couldn’t allow it. Now he would play the Dom. “You will mind me, Lexi. If we have to, you’ll get the hell out of this truck, and you won’t look back.”

“No need, I got it.” Water began to pour in as Lucas spoke.

“What if he’s waiting?” Lexi asked. She had to shout. The sound of the water rushing in pounded at the silence.

It wouldn’t be long before the water invaded the cab, and they would be forced to get to the surface or die.

Aidan had already thought about that. It hadn’t been an accident. It hadn’t been some drunk. That car had a purpose, and it was to take out everyone in his truck. He’d caught a glimpse of it. A dark SUV. Karen drove a dark SUV. He’d never imagined she would go so far. But her husband had owned many guns. If she was waiting to finish the job…

He felt so fucking helpless sitting in the dark, waiting for the cab to fill up. His heart raced because even though he knew he had to wait, his primal brain was screaming that he was going to drown, and Lexi and Lucas would drown, and it would all be over. It couldn’t be over.

The water reached his chin. He tried to push Lexi up, putting off the inevitable time when she would be submerged.

“Lucas goes first. He’ll get out and pull you through. He’ll get you to the surface and swim for the other side. I’ll deal with whoever is waiting for us. Lucas, you understand? You take her and run. You don’t look back.”

“Yes, Master.” Aidan heard Lucas take a deep breath, and he went under. There was nowhere left to go. Lexi took a breath and then she went under, too. It was the hardest thing he’d ever done, but he let go of her hand. It would be all right. Lucas was here. Lucas would take care of her.

That was the comfort of this arrangement. He always had a partner. He’d cheapened it by calling Lucas his partner in Lexi’s pleasure. It was so much more. Lucas was his partner in her joy, her love, her needs, and her comfort. Now he was Aidan’s partner in saving her life. Lucas would be there. He would do what needed to be done. Aidan wouldn’t be alone because Lucas was here.

As he felt his way to the window, he caught a glimpse of them swimming, their hands tangled together. Lucas pulled her along, doing everything he’d promised. Aidan would be able to do what he needed to do—take out the person who was trying to kill his woman.

His whole body tensed for battle as he reached the surface, but he was assaulted by lights. A bright one shined right on his face.

“That you, O’Malley?” Aidan recognized Sheriff Lou Mark’s voice.

The bright light disoriented him for a moment. He shielded his eyes. Now he could see the red and blue lights of the squad car flashing their signal of safety. He took a deep cleansing breath. The air had never seemed so clean, so pure.

“Yeah, it’s me. My truck’s at the bottom of the damn lake,” Aidan shouted.

Lucas was treading water next to him. Lexi was beside him. They seemed strong and secure. They were alive and whole, and Aidan felt an overpowering sense of relief threaten to take him under again. His eyes watered at the sight of them. In the distance, he heard an ambulance.

Aidan nodded at Lucas and all three began to swim for the shore.

Lexi hated hospitals. She loathed them with every fiber of her being. They were too bright and always so cold. The clinic in Deer Run was no different. It was small, with only two exam rooms, but it had all of the applicable machinery. And it had an efficient nurse and a doctor. Luckily, she’d managed to convince Lucas not to call her mother. She had enough to deal with. Lexi was fine without dragging her family into yet another attempt on her life.

She sat on the narrow hospital bed and wondered just how long they were going to keep her here.

“Just a little bit more, angel.” Aidan seemed to be reading her mind tonight.

He stood there looking surprisingly masculine in the green scrubs they had given both he and Lucas to wear. She was in a damn hospital gown because she’d hit her head at some point in time during the accident, and Lucas and Aidan were demanding the doctor run every possible test.

“I feel fine.” She had a bit of a headache, but overall she felt physically well given the fact that she’d been in an accident. It was worse than the other accident even though…

Lexi lay back on the hospital bed. She wasn’t going there. She didn’t have to go there no matter how hard Lucas tried to make her. Some things were best left in the past.

“After they get the test results back in, I have no doubt they’ll let us head home,” Aidan explained. “The truck is being towed in as evidence. I already called Bo. He’s on his way up here.”

Lucas smiled a little. “I’m glad you called him. He loves you. He’s just a little lost. When he makes a comment that upsets you, knock him on his ass. He’d prefer that to you ignoring him. You’ll see. He’ll get used to us.”

Lucas was talking like they were going to be here awhile. Lucas was getting invested in this whole threesome thing, and Lexi wasn’t sure what to do about it. What the hell did she want? When she was in the water, she’d clung to Aidan. She’d been utterly terrified that she could lose him after she’d just gotten him back. She’d known how much she loved him, that she’d never stopped loving him. Lucas had pulled her out of that car, and she’d looked behind to make sure Aidan followed. All that had mattered in those moments was the fact that they were together. Her anger and pain had fallen away, and all she’d been left with was love.

And then she’d been forced to come to the hospital. The easy love had been pushed aside as grief bombarded her again.

Lucas and Aidan were talking quietly.

“I’m willing to try if he is,” Aidan was saying. “He just seems so mad. It’s been that way ever since I got back.”

“He missed you,” Lucas insisted. “He missed his brother, and he doesn’t know how to say it.”

She listened to the two of them talk and couldn’t help but wonder. Was that what was wrong with her? Lucas seemed so willing to forgive. She remembered back to the day Aidan had left. She’d cried, and Lucas had told her that he would be back.

It might not be tomorrow, but he’ll come back. He loves you. Deep down I think he loves me, too. When Aidan gets used to the idea, he’ll come back, and we need to be ready to forgive him.

He’d held that line until the accident. After that, Lucas had stopped talking about when Aidan would come back. He’d shut down and focused on her. He’d subjugated his own needs.

What if the accident had never happened? Would she be as willing to forgive Aidan as Lucas was?

Who was she scared of forgiving? Aidan or herself?

“I’m going to go and talk to the cops.” Aidan leaned over, and his lips brushed the top of her head. “I won’t be long.”

He strode out of the room.

“He knows something,” Lucas said, watching the door as it closed. His hair was rumpled, and an air of weariness hung over him. He’d avoided meeting her eyes since they had made it to the hospital. “Did you get a look at the car that hit us?”

“No.” It had been too dark. Everything had seemed like someone had hit the fast forward button until the roll. That had taken forever. Still, she had her suspicions. “Does anyone know what Karen drives?”

Lucas walked to the window. He pulled the curtain back and stared into the night. “You think Karen did this?”

“Well, I think she hates me. I think she was in Dallas on the day I got shot. I think she smokes. You found cigarette butts where you think the shooter stood, right?” It made sense. She couldn’t think of anyone else who might want her dead. She was obnoxious, but most people didn’t want to kill her over it.

“I don’t know. She seems like a woman who wouldn’t ruin her manicure, much less her car. I wasn’t surprised she tried to queen bee you, but actual murder? I don’t know. And I don’t know how much we can count on the cigarettes leading us to a suspect. Lots of people smoke. Hell, most of Aidan’s ranch hands smoke. I already put in a call to Ben and Chase. They’re going to start working with the police here.”

“Well, I’m sure the Wonder Twins will figure it out eventually.” She sighed. “I guess I won’t be let off the ranch for a while.”

“No,” Lucas replied. “But I have to go back to Dallas for a few days. I have loose ends to tie up. If I’m going to be in Deer Run, then I have to find a way to do my work from there.”

The room fell silent. Though it was quiet, there was nothing peaceful about it. It was awkward and heavy. Lucas let his head rest against the window pane.

The argument in the truck played back in her brain. The words assaulted her, but more than that she was starting to listen to what was underneath those words. Her head hurt, but her heart was aching.

“Do you really think I pretend he didn’t exist?”

Now he was looking at her. His green eyes bore through her. “You never talk about him. He’s always there, but you never mention his name. I can see that it’s killing you, but you shut down the minute I try to talk. I was there, Lexi. I held him, too. I ache from that night, but I’m not allowed to talk about it. Not even with you.”

She wanted to shrink into herself. She’d avoided this for so long. How could she have not seen that it affected Lucas, too? She’d selfishly believed she was the only one who really hurt, and she’d shut him out of her grief. She’d made him her accomplice in forgetting, in refusing to move on.

“I thought if I didn’t talk about him, I would forget.”

Lucas nodded. “I know. But you won’t and you shouldn’t. You shouldn’t forget him. Can’t you see that?”

“It hurts too much. I don’t want to tell Aidan.” Her eyes were heavy with tears. She looked down at her hands, but Lucas was suddenly there, his palms sliding over hers.

“He deserves to know.”

“The hard part is, I can’t figure out why I don’t want to tell him, Lucas. Am I trying to spare him the pain? Am I punishing him? Am I just terrified that he won’t ever forgive me?”

“All of the above.” Lucas forced her chin up so she had to look at him. His eyes were glossy with unshed tears. “And every single reason is valid, baby. But it’s time to move past that now. It’s time to step up and tell the truth.”

“Did you love him?” Aidan stood in the doorway, a cup of coffee in his hand. His face was blank, his skin a stark white.

How much had he guessed? There was nothing for it now. Since the moment he’d walked back into her life, she was always going to have to make a choice. She could choose to tell him what she should have before or she could keep stubbornly silent. It was so clear to her now that two paths lay before her. She could refuse to tell him her secret and walk away—or she could be brave and share the pain that had always been theirs to share.

“It’s all right if you did,” Aidan said. “I understand if you met someone else.”

“Brandon wasn’t a boyfriend, Aidan. He was our son.”