Stone Cold

Chapter 2

SHAME

“You could have asked me to help with all that Life magic climbing the curtains in your noggin,” I said quietly.

“So you could laugh in my face?”

“Harsh. Also, yes. Not like I haven’t before.”

“Maybe I just didn’t want to deal with . . .” He shook his head.

“Me?” I supplied.

“Us,” he answered.

“What about us?”

The traffic light turned and he was quiet for several blocks. Finally, “I don’t know how to navigate this anymore, Shame.”

“What’s there to navigate?” I slouched down against the side door trying not to show him how much I needed to consume, to use magic too. “You need an outlet for all that Life magic crowding you up. I need to consume life. If we don’t do it too often, if we don’t do it too much, there’s a slight chance we won’t go insane and kill each other. Besides, it’s not like we’re going to die old men.”

“It’s an addiction. Us using magic together. When we don’t . . . the longer we go between using together, I can’t . . . I can’t think.”

“Thinking’s overrated.”

“I feel like a goddamn junkie.”

I waited until the truth of that cooled between us. He wasn’t wrong. And I should know. “I haven’t seen you in two weeks,” I said. “Two weeks is a long time.”

“I know.”

“You could just get your own place and we could go back to permanently ignoring each other.”

Since Mum kicked me out of the inn—the only place I’d ever called home—while she and her new love, Hayden, did a beam-to-basement remodeling on the place, I’d moved into the house I’d won—fairly, I might add—from my buddy Cody Miller back in the day.

And Terric? Well, he hadn’t gotten over the last crappy boyfriend who had beat him and forced him to use Life magic for whatever the Blood magic and drug syndicate, Black Crane, had wanted him to do.

He had told me I owed him a couch for a few days. I’d probably been too drunk to say no. I didn’t know when or how he’d moved in with me exactly. Hell, it was a big house. There was more than enough room. I had just expected him to leave by now.

“That wouldn’t change anything. Wouldn’t change us,” he said.

“True. Pull over,” I said.

“What?”

“Just.” I pointed. “Pull over.”

We were on the east side of the river now, a few miles out of St. Johns, where Allie and Zayvion lived, and where, I assumed, the meeting was being held.

He did as I said, which just showed what state of mind he was in. Terric never listened to me.

He put the car in park, then returned both his hands to the wheel. Stared straight ahead at the rain.

“Do it,” I said. “Throw a little Life magic at me.”

“I can’t.”

“Can’t? Won’t. Sorry, Ter. If I have to deal with the monster inside me, then a little turnabout’s good for the gander.”

That got a twitch of a smile out of him. “Your grasp of the English language is staggering.”

“Shut up. Do it. Life it on up in here, and I’ll Death it on down.”

He took in a deep breath, half turned toward me. “You think it’s that easy?”

“Drawing on Life magic? For you, yes.”

“And what about all those people out there?”

I listened. I could count the heartbeats in the blocky apartment buildings on one side of us and in the beat-down row of nineteen forties cottages on the left. I knew Terric could do the same.

Death magic in me was obvious about its killing nature. The Life magic in Terric was a little more subtle in its cruelty.

Suffering a disease? Life magic might just side with the disease and accelerate it. Or it might decide that other latent things inside you should come alive.

To hear Terric talk about it, which he didn’t often, it was an alien, calculating force that slipped through his fingers no matter how he tried to control it. To hear him talk about it, he never knew if it was going to heal or destroy.

Other people might be surprised that Life magic wasn’t a blessing.

It wasn’t news to me that life was synonymous with suffering.

“The people are going to be fine,” I said. “We’ll make sure we keep it contained in the car. It’s why you came to pick me up, isn’t it? To draw on magic, feed the need?”

“No,” he said quietly. “I came to take you to the party.”

“Party?”

He winced. “Meeting.”

I did a quick check. It wasn’t my birthday. I didn’t keep track of other people’s birthdays, but I was pretty sure it wasn’t that either.

“Party?” I repeated.

“Baby shower. For Allie.”

“Baby what? No.”

“Shame.”

“Hell no.” I laughed. “Did Allie send you out to drag me in for a baby party?”

“No, Zay asked me for her. And I would have volunteered. You’re supposed to be an uncle to that kid, a godfather.”

“When the kid gets here and can blow out the candles, I’ll be there to cheer,” I said. “Baby showers are for girls.”

“I’ll be there. Zay will be there.”

“Point stands.”

“You are such an idiot. Fine,” he said. “Don’t. But I am. I am going to be around Allie, Shame. I am going to be around my friends, people I care for. Something I’ve avoided for almost a month now. This magic inside me . . . I need . . .” He clenched the steering wheel tighter. Then in a quieter voice, “I just want one damn normal day. You’re the last person I want to ask, but . . .”

“You’ll break your no-magic rule with me for a baby shower? Is it a gay thing?”

“It’s an Allie and Zayvion thing.” He turned toward me again. Blue eyes drenched in color, a depth that should reflect kindness, but instead gave the impression of fire. Madness wasn’t far behind.

When Terric lost control of Life magic, he became a very alien thing. No emotions, no humanity. Just a calculating creature of power that twisted the world to his will.

We didn’t need that. The world didn’t need that because then I’d have to kill him.

“All right,” I said to Terric, and to the madness within him. “I’ll go to the party so you don’t hurt anyone. But first we use magic so we can put on our sane masks while we’re in public. We do a simple spell, here, in the car, nice and controlled, and take the overstock of Life down a notch.”

He nodded once, stiffly. He hated this just as much as I did. Or, really, loved it as much as I did and hated that it was just one more step toward us losing our control of magic, or our humanity, for good.

I stuck one finger in the air and traced a very simple glyph for Burn.

It took Terric a second to notice which spell I’d chosen. “What? No,” he said. “No fire inside the car.”

“It’s magic. It will flash so hot there won’t even be ashes.”

“Shame, this is my car. I just paid it off. No fire.”

“I don’t know, mate. I’ve already drawn most of the symbol. Too late to go back now.”

“Just cancel it. There are a hundred better spells. Consume, Dampen, Flow . . .”

“Flow?” I asked. “Do you see a river that needs rerouting? No. Plus, I like Burn. Easy and quick.”

“No fire. Use Dampen.”

“Screw you, Life Boy. I’ll cast what I want to cast. You best get busy calling up all the growing and thriving shit for me to knock down.”

He licked his lips. “It’s been a while.”

“This isn’t a confessional. Cast.”

His left hand still gripped the steering wheel. The other clenched a fist next to him.

He wasn’t moving. Wasn’t casting. He was not doing much for a guy who wanted to use magic.

Fine. If talking wouldn’t work, action should.

I didn’t draw a spell. I didn’t concentrate on pulling magic from beneath the ground to fill the spell. I just relaxed a little, took a deep breath, and called on the Death magic snarling behind my mental chain link fences.

“Hey, Terric,” I said, thinking maybe the element of surprise would knock him into gear. “Think fast.”

Death magic hit him like a ton of . . . well, death.

Slammed him against the door. His head snapped so hard the glass cracked.

Crap.

Pain exploded through him, whipped back through our Soul Complement connection, riding the black fire of death coursing through me and into him.

Jesus. I’d expected him to block. He was fast. Faster than me. He should have seen that coming.

I grappled with the magic, trying to rein it in, but Death wanted its due. Heartbeat, blood, life. And Terric was right there for the picking.

Sweat slicked my face, scratched at my neck as I tried to drag Death back to me, back inside me. I hadn’t meant to hurt him.

“Ter?” I said. “Are you breathing?”

Magic flared around him so bright it blinded.

I had one second to think that maybe we should have parked somewhere more private where people driving past wouldn’t see the ridiculous amount of magic filling the vehicle.

I had another second to think that if I’d been smart, I would have cast a Block spell or an Illusion so no one would call the cops about the explosion about to go off in the car.

And the third second? Well, that’s when I got busy fighting for my life.

Life magic roared out of Terric, pouring so hot it was hard to breathe. Liquid white shattered through the raging darkness of Death I was losing control of, canceling it, breaking it, burning it.

Light and darkness, life and death. Pretty even odds if you asked me.

But I’d caught Terric off guard, angry. And hungry. That was a dangerous misstep, like poking a raging lion, lighting a match near gasoline, or pissing off an uncontrolled Life magic user.

This was not going to end well for one of us. Probably me.

The pain between us shifted, nauseatingly so, to a sort of pleasure as the magic he called on and the magic I called on fought for the edge, fought for the advantage over each other.

I could feel Life creeping into me, filling dark hollows in me, firing across my nerves. Every muscle in my body clenched, just as I knew Death was biting off pieces of him.

Fight? Flight? Break glass in case of emergency?

Terric and I had done some stupid things with magic.

So far, we’d avoided reaching into the core of all magic that flows through the world and actually snapping that core in two—which is exactly how a magical apocalypse kicks off. Right now we were just accessing the magic we carried in us—Life and Death—and that was not strong enough to start the end of the world.

Still, I was pretty sure we’d just climbed to new heights of Mt. Dumb.

“Terric,” I said. Or I think I said. I might have just thought it, since someone in the car was yelling, and I was pretty sure it wasn’t me. “Take it down a notch.”

The only problem? That wasn’t Terric staring out of those brittle blues. That was Life magic, inhuman, calculating, brutal. Hungry.

Okay, so maybe I had underestimated how close to the edge of insanity he’d been.

If I let go of Death magic, I’d probably have a second or two of pure bliss as my body became completely and fully alive. After that?

Probably oblivion. Or obliteration.

Plus, that would mean Terric had won, Life magic had won.

Since I am a terrible loser, I wasn’t going to let that happen. Time to tip the scales the best way I knew how: cheat.

I pulled a knife out of my pocket, cut my left palm. It instantly healed.

Thanks, Life magic.

I cut myself again, deeper. Got a few drops of blood before that healed too. Tried to think of my next move.

Jesus. I was getting a little drunk off all this Soul Complementy magic flying between us.

Spell. I needed a spell.

I carved the air with the blood-covered knife. It was not graceful. It was not precise.

Okay, so it took me two tries, because, damn. The amount of magic in this car. What a way to go.

Finally got it, got the glyph drawn. Laughed.

Terric, or rather, that inhuman vessel of magic over there, frowned.

I set the spell spinning with the tip of my blade.

Time.

It wasn’t a spell I liked to use. You had to be connected to the other person in some way for Time to manipulate both you and your opponent’s perception of it. Blood magic was the easiest way to accomplish that.

But as I said, Ter and I were joined by more than blood.

I had his soul.

The other problem here was that Time was a damn hard spell to end. Instead of just canceling the spell, you had to make sure you were coming back into the reality of time exactly in sync with the natural flow of it.

That was as easy as landing a jumbo jet on the head of a pin.

Time washed out like a curling pinwheel of smoke, crashed over his head, crashed over mine, surrounded us.

Since I was the one who had cast the spell, I theoretically had control over whether it would speed things up or slow things down.

I opted for slow.

“Terric,” I said as a year crawled by. “You need to listen to me, mate.”

“You. Attacked. Me.”

“I thought you’d block. You attacked me back. We’re even. Except you have completely lost your mind. Control yourself, mate. Haul back on that Life magic.”

“I . . . ,” he started.

“Have gone crazy,” I finished for him. Then a month or so later, “And if you can’t get a grip, I will shut you down.”

Something moved behind his eyes, something that looked a lot more like the man I knew. “You’d try,” he said.

“You bet your weet sass I would,” I said.

Even though Time was stretching each second so that it felt as if it were days and weeks, the overload of magic and hit of pleasure from using Life and Death was drunking me up a bit.

“We both put the magic down,” I said. “On three.”

I lifted my hand, so very, very slowly. He did the same, mirroring my movements.

“One,” I said.

“Two.” I waited, held my breath. Wasted a heartbeat or two savoring the high. Needed this to be right. Needed to get the alignment of our reality of time and time’s real reality correct so I didn’t kill us.

“Three.”

He canceled Life magic, hauling back on it, controlling it. White fire snaked around his hand, a lightning storm come to rest in his fist.

While he was doing that, I was wrestling for control of my own magic. Not easy. Not fun. Blackness whipped around me, lashing hard enough to break skin.

It hurt. Everything hurt.

So: normal.

I flicked fingers and broke the Time spell. There was that thunder crack ringing and foot-off-the-cliff lurch of our perception of time readjusting.

I fell forever.

I’d missed the landing. I’d screwed it completely.

Nope. I nailed it.

We were sitting in the car, along the side of the road. Eventually I could hear the soft patter of rain over my pulse, which beat steady and strong.

Terric was breathing hard too.

But neither of us was exploded.

So: all good.

“What were you thinking?” he said.

I gave him a grin, licked the blood off my split lip, wondered how many more little cuts Death magic had left me with this time.

“You wanted to use magic with me but were afraid we couldn’t control it. Which we did, I’d like to point out. I was tired of listening to you whine about it.”

“I wasn’t afraid of our control.”

“Yes. You were. You’d be stupid if you weren’t.”

He swore softly, didn’t meet my eyes. I wasn’t the one who ususally told the truth in this relationship.

“So we’re good now, right?” I wiped the side of my face on my arm. No blood. Maybe I’d gotten out of this one relatively unscathed. Or maybe there had been enough Life magic still in me it had healed up all the nicks. I licked my lip again. Blood was gone.

One point for Life magic, then.

“No,” Terric said. “We are not good. Using like this . . . uncontrolled . . .”

“Speak for yourself, mate. I was plenty controlled.”

He pressed his head back into the headrest and stared out at the rain. “You hit me with Death magic, Shame,” he said. “I could have killed you.”

“Already dead. Also, good luck with that. Also, also, we’re late for that baby shindig you wanted to go to.”

He focused on something over my shoulder and out the door, as if he’d just noticed we were still in his car.

“One last thing,” I said. “I think some of the people passing us called the cops. So getting the hell out of here might be in order. Unless you want to explain that magical explosion you just set off to Detective Stotts?”

“I set off?” He sat forward, turned the key. The engine purred. “You hit me in the face with Death.” He glanced out his side window. “And you broke my window with my head.”

“You were the one who wanted an outlet for Life magic so you could be stable around Allie and the baby Beckstrom.”

“Beckstrom-Jones. They’re hyphenating,” he said. “And there is a difference between Death magic absorbing Life magic and being a dick, Shame.”

“Don’t I know it?” I said. “If I’d wanted to be a dick, I’d have broken more than one window.”

“I don’t think that’s how it would go down.”

“Oh?”

“Life always wins. Always.”

I felt the best I had for the last couple weeks. I was pretty sure Life had won this time.

No need to tell Terric that, though.

“No, I just went easy on you, mate,” I said. “If it was a fight, a real fight? I’d win.”

“Why?”

“Because when it comes right down to it, you won’t cheat to get your way. You’re on the side of heroes, Terric.”

“And you’re not?”

I didn’t say anything. I didn’t have to. Hero hadn’t been in my job description since the day I was born.