SHAME
“. . . are you listening to me?” Allie said. She snapped her fingers twice. “Hello? Planet Earth to Shamus Flynn.”
“Coming in loud and clear, m’dear.” I was currently lounging on their couch, a half-drunk beer on the table next to me, my feet propped up on Stone’s back. He was snoring softly, a stuffed puppy in his hand. Kind of adorable.
Zayvion was off getting Allie some iced tea from the kitchen. Probably just an excuse for him and Terric to talk about how magic had gone quiet and invisible since Terric and I gave it back to Cody and Cody gave it back to the world.
Which left me in the living room with Allie, who looked pretty damn good for a woman who’d just had a baby a week ago, my mum, who was on the couch with a thick wool blanket and Hayden’s arm wrapped around her, even though it was plenty warm enough in the room, and Davy, who sat on the floor in front of Sunny’s wheelchair.
Mum was moving pretty slowly, and resting a lot. Even with Hayden doting on her hand and foot, I knew what I’d done to her had left permanent damage. She’d aged in the short week since she’d returned to her body, her hair now a cascade of pure silver.
Sunny had recovered too, although she wasn’t up to walking yet. The doctors had told her she probably never would. She had told them to shove it. She planned to be walking down the aisle with Davy in a year.
Davy was healthy enough to take care of Sunny, and had already said his apologies for being used against us. Unnecessary apologies. We’d let him down far more than he’d let us down. All the spells Eli had carved into him were dead now, leaving behind a wicked sort of full-body tattoo. Very tribal. I was sure it was going to look boss with the wedding ring he’d soon be wearing.
Terric had gotten out of the mess with a missing pinkie finger, and I’d somehow kept the aurora borealis glow in my eyes. It was still freaky. Sunglasses were now a permanent wardrobe item.
“So,” Allie said, “you heard me warning you that I am going to make you hold your goddaughter, right?”
“Uh, right. Sometime, sure.”
Allie fixed me with a look and eased up out of the rocking chair with the baby in her arms.
“. . . in the future . . .”
She raised one eyebrow and nudged my legs with her foot. I drew my boots off the gargoyle and sat up straighter.
“. . . when she is much less fragile . . .”
Allie plopped the tiny pink-wrapped bundle of baby Beckstrom-Jones into my arms.
“. . . holy crap.”
Sunny and Mum laughed.
“Language,” Allie said.
This was the first time in my life I’d held a baby. Suddenly I was all thumbs and elbows, and every joint went stiff as I held perfectly still.
“Well, this was great,” I said. “A miracle of life. Glad to be a part of it. You can take her back now.”
“Oh, I don’t think so.” Allie walked over to the chair and sat down, smug as a cat.
“Please?”
“Nope.”
“You’re doing fine, son,” Mum said from over her cup of tea.
The baby squished up her face and opened her mouth.
“What’s she doing?” I asked, alarmed.
“Her name is Ramona Jozette, and she is yawning,” Allie said.
“You can handle a little baby yawn, can’t you?” Sunny asked.
“No,” I said. “I most definitely cannot. Take her back before I break something.” I sort of lifted my arms awkwardly, trying to hold her out for Allie to retrieve.
“Suck it up, Shame,” Allie said. “You are officially in training. I expect full babysitting days out of you in the future.”
“You should know better than to leave her with a guy like me, Beckstrom.”
“What? A Death magic user who might at any moment drain the life out of her?” She gave me an innocent look. “Oh no. That’s right. You can’t do that anymore. Nobody can use magic anymore. Because you broke it.”
I grinned. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“What’s a bad thing?” Zayvion strolled into the room, Terric a step behind him. “Hold on. Is that my daughter in your arms, Shame?”
“Yes,” I said. “Thought she and I could have a little talk. Somebody’s got to tell her all her daddy’s dirty secrets.”
Zay gave me a smile and his brown eyes were just brown. No more gold for him, no more magic for the man who had stood at the front lines on this city’s battlefields for years, protecting it from the people who were trying to destroy it.
No more worrying about protecting his daughter from the things people with magic might do to her—a Soul Complement’s child.
It had turned out to be, I decided, one of my favorite side effects of me trying to swallow magic whole, and it trying to tear me apart. Maybe his kid would have a chance to grow up in a place that wasn’t so full of fear and pain.
“Tell her anything you want,” Zay said, handing the iced tea to Allie. “I’ve got nothing to hide. She knows I love her.”
“Is that right, Rami Jo?” I asked the baby, who had her daddy’s thick black hair and her mommy’s nose. “Did you also know that your old man was a very bad man back in his day before he grew up and turned soft and fatherly?”
“Unlike her uncle Shame,” Terric said, “who is still a bad man and never grew up.”
“Or your uncle Terric, who is a terrible liar, and owes me for saving his life. Again.”
Terric settled onto the couch, took a swallow of his tea, and grinned. “Asshole.”
“Language,” Allie said.
Mum laughed again. “I don’t think she understands it yet, sweetheart.”
“It’s the principle,” Allie said.
I carefully shifted the baby so I could hold her in one hand. Her little body lay down on my arm but didn’t even reach the crook of my elbow.
“Hey, look at that,” I said. “I think I’m starting to get the hang of this. She’s like a little football, isn’t she?”
Zay crossed the space between us in three strides and plucked her out of my hands. “You know what? You are doing that wrong.”
There it was. Promise complete. I held his daughter and he told me I was doing it wrong. I grinned, leaned back. “What? I wasn’t going to punt her.”
“I know,” he said, but his body language had gone daddy lion protective. Oh, her future dates were in for a world of hurt.
I looked over at Terric, who threw me a small smile. We were going to have a hell of a lot of fun teasing him for the next couple of decades.
Ah, who was I kidding? Fatherhood looked good on him.
“So, magic,” Allie said, swinging back on the subject. “Now that we’re all up and about, tell us exactly what you two did. I tried talking to Cody, but he was elbow deep in figuring out why Stone was still working after what you did.”
Stone’s ears pricked up at the sound of his name and he trotted over to sit on the floor between Allie’s and Zay’s chairs.
“We broke it,” Terric said. “Killed the drones who were too far gone to be saved. Killed Eli and Krogher. Then Shame tried to put dark and light magic back together. Idiot.”
“Well, if you’d managed to take a couple bullets like a man and not go whining to heaven about it, I wouldn’t have had to mend magic.”
“His attempt,” Terric went on, “gave Life magic a hold in me. It healed me, then pulled him back from the brink of death. Which reminds me, I did the math. I’ve saved your life more than you’ve saved mine.”
“Bullshit.”
“Holy hells, Shame,” Allie said. “Language.”
“When we finally worked the fucking Transference spell,” I said.
Allie threw her hands in the air and rolled her eyes.
“Shame,” Mum warned, but she was trying not to smile.
“All the damn magic flooded into Cody, and he shitting fixed it. So you can blame that son of a bitch, not us.”
“Okay,” Zay said. “Allie and I used Cody to mend magic too, three years ago. Magic still worked afterward.”
“Yes, but it was softer and gentler.” I shrugged.
“Maybe it gets weaker each time it’s broken and healed?” Davy suggested.
“Could be,” Sunny said.
I took a drink of my beer and Terric glanced at me over his glass of tea, one eyebrow twitching upward. The thing we hadn’t told them was we each could still use magic. He could use Life magic and I could use Death.
Magic wasn’t gone from the world, far from it. We’d just made sure it was just a lot harder to get to now. Nigh impossible to reach. Well, except for us.
“Just because glyphs, spells, and blood can’t hold magic,” Hayden said, “doesn’t mean people won’t try other things.”
“Sure,” Terric said. “If magic can be accessed, humankind will find a way to do so.”
“Are there any back doors into magic that you two know about?” Zay asked. “Any loopholes?”
“Nope,” I lied.
“Terric,” Mum asked. “Is that true?”
I made an offended sound. “Right here.”
Terric just gave me a told-you-so look. “You have my word on it,” he said. “No back doors.”
Okay, seriously. Terric was turning into a first-class liar. Warmed my little black heart.
Zay just made a hmm sound.
He and Zay had the kind of friendship that didn’t allow for a lot of lies. For all that we had grown up shoulder to shoulder, he and Zay had been up for the same position in the Authority. They had trained together, worked together, and had both been Victor’s star pupils. They knew each other better than brothers.
Of course Zay and I knew each other better than brothers too. Which is why he was right to be suspicious of my answer, at least.
“If that answer ever changes,” Zay said, “you’ll come to me, right? Both of you will.” It wasn’t so much a question as a command. As if he could call the shots.
Well, I guess old habits die hard.
“Of course we will, Daddy Jones,” I said. “The day that the truth we are telling you suddenly turns into a lie, we’ll be sure to give you a call.”
“Good,” he said. “Don’t forget it.”
Rami Jo made a cute little cooing sound and Allie and Zay exchanged a look that was more than love. Stone’s wings shivered in delight and he hummed softly back to her. I had a feeling baby Rami Jo was going to be Stone’s favorite little buddy ever.
“We’re glad you’re both okay,” Mum said. “You are okay, aren’t you?”
“Breathing all day every day,” I said.
“And the Soul Complement stuff,” Hayden asked, “is that finally good between you two boys?”
“Oh yeah,” Terric said. “All good.” He made a kissy face at me, so I flipped him off.
Like he said: all good.