Sapphire wasn’t sure when the situation had spiraled out of her control, but it was time to grab it back. “That’s not necessary.” No way was she putting on her nightgown when Jake was still in her apartment. She yanked her blouse back over her shoulders and fastened the top button. She couldn’t believe she’d allowed him to half undress her without protesting.
But really, who could blame her? Her thoughts and emotions were bouncing all over the place. She’d finally come to the conclusion that she wasn’t going to be able to change and had made peace with it. Then Jake had come storming back into her life asking for another shot at their relationship. No, not asking, demanding.
He was frowning at her yet again. “You need an ice pack to keep down the swelling.”
“Then I’ll take care of it. After you leave.” She started to open the door again, but he kicked it closed. Turning, she glared at him. “Stop that.”
“Can’t. I won’t sleep if you don’t let me tend to your injuries. They’re my fault.”
“For heaven’s sake, Jake. The only one at fault is Ivan for being an idiot.”
“You should never have gone out with him.”
She held up her hand to stop his rant before it really got started. “Not. Your. Business.” She spaced the words out so he’d get the message. She was in charge of her life, not him.
A muscle began to pulse beneath his left eye and his jaw hardened. “It is my business. You’re my business.”
She shook her head. “No. Who I date is my concern.”
“I want it to be mine. Hell, I don’t want you dating anyone but me.”
Sapphire wasn’t about to make any rash decisions tonight, not after what she’d been through. Jake had already put her emotions through the wringer and she wasn’t keen on going back for a second round.
But oh, how she wanted to take the plunge. For all his male arrogance and his heavy-handed ways, she loved him. What she wasn’t sure about was whether or not she could trust him with her heart again.
“I’m not making any decisions tonight.”
“Fair enough.” He stood with his legs braced apart and his arms crossed over his massive chest. “But please let me take care of you tonight.” He uncoiled his arms and held up his hands in front of him as if to admit surrender. “Only an ice pack and I’ll leave once you’re tucked into bed.”
She knew he could teach stubborn to a goat and would stand there all night if he had to. His tenacity was one of the things she admired about him even as she recognized it would be a problem in any relationship they had. Still, if it got him gone, she would give in this once.
“Fine. Go wrap some ice in a tea towel and I’ll get changed. Bedroom is on the right.” She turned on her heel and marched off. Even though she didn’t look behind, she could feel his eyes on her as she walked down the short hallway and into her room.
She didn’t release her pent-up breath until she shut the door behind her. Leaning against the wooden panel, she tilted her head back and closed her eyes. This evening had totally gotten out of her control, first with Ivan and now with Jake.
On cue, her shoulders began to ache. She shoved away from the door and made it to the side of the bed. Her legs were shaky so she sat and removed her shoes. Her feet throbbed with relief. There was enough ambient light coming from outside for her to see, but she turned on the small bedside lamp, needing the warmth from its glow for comfort.
She didn’t think Jake would be long in the kitchen and had no desire to be caught in a state of undress. Pushing herself off the bed, she quickly stripped off her skirt and pantyhose. Her blouse and bra quickly followed. She reached for her nightgown, which hung from an antique brass hook on the back of her closet door, and quickly drew it on. She kept her panties on, not wanting to feel quite so undressed in front of Jake. To be on the safe side, she drew her dressing gown on over the nightie.
A low knock sounded on the door. Before she could answer, Jake pushed the door open and walked in. He’d removed his jacket and boots and rolled back the sleeves of his black linen shirt, displaying muscled forearms dusted with a light covering of dark-blond hair. She frowned at him. “You should have waited until I told you to come in.”
His stride slowed and an odd expression crossed his face as though such a thing had never occurred to him. “Next time,” he promised. He had a towel filled with ice in his left hand and motioned toward the bed with his right one. “Get in bed.”
“I’d planned to,” she muttered. Honestly, the man gave new meaning to the word bossy. She pulled down the comforter and sheet and slid into bed. When she was settled, she glanced at him and was surprised to find a sheepish expression on his face.
“I don’t mean to be so pushy,” he began. He raked his free hand through the silky strands of his blond hair, something he did whenever he was upset. She’d spent enough time with him to know some of his habits. His normally cool-blue eyes darkened and warmed. “I’m just worried about you.”
Sapphire found herself softening toward him in spite of her resolve to stay strong. An apology from a man like Jake didn’t happen every day and she relished it, even as she took pleasure in his concern. “No need. It’s only a few bruises.”
All softness disappeared from his expression and was replaced with hard, implacable lines she knew so well. “It’s enough.”
Jake sat on the side of the bed, set the towel aside and tugged at the opening of her dressing gown. Giving into the inevitable, she helped him remove it and tug it out from under her. He folded it and laid it over the end of the bed. Thankfully her nightie had spaghetti straps so there was no need to pull them down to get at the bruises.
“I put the ice in a baggie and wrapped it in a towel so you don’t have to worry about it melting and making a mess.” He gingerly set the towel with the ice on one shoulder.
She flinched and he swore. She was surprised by how much he’d cursed this evening. He normally watched his language around her.
“I know it’s cold, but it will help,” he promised. He tugged the covers around her and brushed back a lock of hair that had escaped from its clip.
Sapphire studied him as he moved the cold compress to her other shoulder. She’d never admit it to him, but he was right. The ice was numbing the pain and easing some of the ache from her bruises.
Jake continued to shift the ice pack from shoulder to shoulder until almost all of the ice had melted. He removed the compress and studied the bruises. “I don’t think they’re too bad, but it will take a while for them to fade.” He tossed the towel onto the nightstand and then leaned over her, bracing his hands on either side of her.
A million butterflies danced in her stomach and her skin felt hot in spite of the ice he’d used on her bruises. She swallowed hard and stared at him.
“I’ve missed you.”
She’d missed him too. So much. But she couldn’t get the words past her lips, wasn’t sure she would even if she could. The pain of his leaving was still too fresh. “What happened? Tell me why you left that night. You said it was because of the darkness inside you. What did you mean by that?”
If they were going to have any kind of chance at all of making this relationship work, then he was going to have to be honest with her from here on out. No more making her decisions for her. She needed to understand what demons he was fighting, what was driving him to act as he did.
He lowered his head and for a second she thought he might kiss her. She wasn’t sure she was ready for that, not yet, not with her emotional barrier so unsteady. Instead, he rested his forehead against hers and sighed. His warm breath fanned over her skin.
“You know what I’ve done for a living.” His voice was so low she had to listen hard to hear him. She sensed that whatever he was about to say wasn’t easy for him, but it was necessary if they were going to start over.
“I do.”
He sat upright and studied her, his gaze probing and intense. “You think you do, but you don’t.”
She shook her head in protest. She wasn’t stupid, nor was she as innocent as he seemed to think she was. “Jake, I know you were a soldier for twenty years. I know that you were a sniper. I can do the math.”
He nodded stiffly and she reached out to him, resting a hand on his forearm. The muscle was taut and hard beneath her palm.
“I know you’ve had to make some hard choices, do some hard things in your career.” She knew he’d killed people. The country had been at war and it was his job to deal with the threat.
His entire body stilled, but there was no mistaking the coiled energy just waiting to explode. “When we got out, John and I started our business.”
And in a short time, Knight Security was gaining a name for itself in certain circles. She was so glad her father had found them when she and Topaz had needed bodyguards.
“But what does that have to do with what happened between us in the bedroom, Jake?” That was what she really needed the answer to. The man sitting next to her was a deeply complex and layered one, with depths she hadn’t truly seen until tonight.
He met her gaze, his blue eyes unflinching. “I don’t like being out of control. Maybe it comes from doing the job I did for such a long time, maybe it’s part of my basic DNA and was strengthened by my career choice. I really don’t know.”
Sapphire stayed quiet, willing him to continue. Only the distant hum of the refrigerator and their light breathing broke the silence for the longest time. She began to wonder if he was going to tell her anything more when he finally began to speak again.
“Do you know what I’m saying to you? Do you understand?” He cupped her face between his hands, rubbing his thumbs over her cheekbones. “I like being in charge of sex. I have to be in charge.”
He’d been intense and demanding the night they’d spent together, but she’d found it oddly exciting. And for sure, she’d never orgasmed with the intensity that she had that night. But what exactly did he mean by being in charge?
“There are things I want to do to you. Things I want you to do to me, for me. I want to strip you naked and fuck you all night long until you won’t ever question who you belong to.”
His words snaked through her blood like molten lava, setting her body on fire for him. But a part of her took a step back. Was this what she wanted? Could she live with his demands, satisfy his needs?
She licked her suddenly dry lips. “What else?”
His chest expanded and contracted on a huge breath. “What else? Anything. Everything. Whatever I want, whenever I want it.” He leaned forward and brushed his lips over hers, the touch barely there, more of a breath than a kiss. “But I’ll never hurt you again, babe. I promise you that. I’m sorry for the bruises I left on your skin that night.” He rested his hand on the comforter over her hips and pressed.
“Bruises?” Did he think he’d physically hurt her?
He frowned. “Don’t deny them. I saw them on your hips where I held you too tight. I also left a beard burn on your breasts.” He shook his head. “Not to mention you flinched every time you moved.”
She couldn’t believe what he was saying, the misconceptions he had of their night together. “Jake, the light rash on my breasts was gone by the time you left. I never even noticed it. As for the bruises, they were light and I honestly can’t remember you holding me too tight.”
She took a deep breath and plunged onward, determined to be totally honest. “And, yes, I was sore. What woman wouldn’t be after a night of intense sex, especially when she’s not used to it. A soak in a warm tub and a day without sex and I was fine.”
His gaze narrowed as if he was trying to determine whether or not to believe her. “I hurt you,” he reiterated. “I won’t do it again.”
But he’d already hurt her. Not physically, as he seemed to be so worried about, but emotionally.
Sapphire shivered, suddenly cold to her very core. Jake was right. There was a darkness seething inside him, but instead of frightening her, it drew her like a moth to a flame. She knew she might get burned but she wasn’t sure she cared. The fire would be so beautiful it might be worth getting singed.
His intensity had roused something deep within her, a dark sensuality she hadn’t even known existed until the night they’d spent together. It would be all too easy to lose herself completely, to allow Jake to take over every aspect of her life, inside the bedroom and out. She had to decide if she was strong enough to hold her ground and not get swallowed up if they had a relationship.
“I need time to think.” And there was no way to do that with Jake sitting so close to her. After only one night together, her body was primed by his nearness, his masculine scent of musk and woodsy soap. The way he looked at her, as though he could eat her up, left her panties damp and her knees weak.
But he’d already left her once. And although she didn’t think he would intentionally hurt her again, she had to be practical. Relationships didn’t always work out. She’d dated and had a few serious liaisons over the years, but none of them had destroyed her the way that Jake’s leaving had done.
If she agreed to give them another chance she had to go into the relationship with both eyes open. She had to somehow guard her heart and not allow it to become any more susceptible than it already was.
Maybe she was fooling herself. Maybe she should just cut her losses and say goodbye for good.
Her heart cried at the very thought and tears filled her eyes.
“Sapphire?” Jake tugged the covers down to her waist. “Let me pleasure you. Let me touch you.” His hand snaked across her stomach and over her waist before dipping in to settle beneath her breasts.
“Let me taste you.” His tongue traced her collarbone, his nose nuzzling along the edge of her nightgown.
“I want to make you come, to hear your moans and those breathy cries you make when you’re aroused. I want to taste your cream when you reach your pleasure and eat it all up.”
Sapphire could barely breathe, mesmerized by the sensual spell Jake was casting over her. He was seducing her with nothing more than words and a light caress.
Her pussy pulsed and she ached for his touch. Her nipples pebbled into hard nubs, easily visible through the fabric of her gown. Jake rubbed his thumb over one of them and she gasped.
“You’re so responsive. So perfect for me,” he praised. “Let me touch you. Taste you.” The intensity of his gaze should have frightened her, but it didn’t. This was Jake and she trusted him not to physically hurt her. She knew from their one night together that he would bring her a pleasure so deep it would almost hurt, but it wouldn’t cross that line.
“That’s as far as it will go. I give you my word.” His gaze met hers and she read the sincerity there. “I’ll leave right after to let you rest and give you time to think.”
She knew what her answer was going to be even before she spoke the one word that would change both their lives forever. Sapphire took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. “Yes.”
Jake rolled off the bed and undid his shirt one button at a time, exposing a broad expanse of muscled flesh when he shrugged it off. Her breath caught in her throat as his chest and abs were exposed. He pulled the covers back, but made no move to remove her nightgown.
She was glad he didn’t try to strip her naked. She wasn’t sure she could have handled that quite yet. The risk she was taking with her heart was enormous and she hoped it didn’t backfire. After only one night with Jake, his leaving had devastated her. What would happen after days or weeks or months together?
It didn’t bear thinking about. For better or worse, she’d made her decision. She only hoped she didn’t live to regret it. Jake would have to take her as she was, but she’d have to do the same with him. Only time would tell if they were making a mistake or not.
Jake settled back on the bed between Sapphire’s legs. He wished to hell he knew what was going on in that nimble brain of hers, but it was impossible to tell. Of course, his throbbing cock wasn’t making thinking very easy.
He couldn’t believe she hadn’t kicked his ass to the curb. Oh, she’d made a couple half-hearted efforts to show him the door, but she hadn’t really ordered him out. He’d come to know her well in the time they’d spent together and he knew what she looked and sounded like when she meant business. Her earlier efforts to eject him had been weak at best.
That gave him hope that there was a chance for them. Of course, he knew he was on borrowed time and that she could change her mind at any moment. Where once she’d been open and willing to give him everything, now she was guarded.
Still, he could make this work. He’d give her so much pleasure she would eventually open up to him again. He would make it work. He had to. Because in the long dark nights he’d spent staring out his living room window, peering at the nothingness that was his life, he knew he needed Sapphire in a way he’d never needed anyone. And that included his twin.
Sapphire smoothed the jagged edges of his soul and gave him a sense of peace he’d thought was lost to him forever. He wasn’t even sure he’d ever really had it, even as a child. Until he’d left her, he hadn’t realized just how much he’d grown to depend on her quiet presence to soothe his inner demons.
Now she’d cracked the door and allowed him back into her life. Okay, so he’d practically battered the door down, but still. He was going to take advantage of the situation to gain his objective.
He lowered himself over her, supporting his weight on his forearms, so their bodies were barely touching. Her breathy gasp gripped his balls in a vise of pleasure.
“You’re so soft.” He brushed his lips over her cheek, down her nose and across her jaw. He’d dominated her the last time. This time he wanted to show her he could be slow and gentle. And he’d do it, even if it killed him.
Her lips parted and he drew his tongue over the bottom one, then the top, tracing their shape. A low moan escaped her mouth and he covered it with his, sliding his tongue inside the hot, moist cavern. He took his time, exploring and tasting, pulling away when his control was tested to the limits.
His arms strained to hold his weight off her and his cock was hard as a railroad spike. But he wasn’t going to come tonight, at least not here with Sapphire. Tonight was all about her. He’d given his word.
He sat back and hooked his fingers in the thin straps of her gown and drew them down to her elbows, exposing her full breasts to his gaze. He was normally more of a leg man than a breast man, but a guy would have to be dead not to appreciate the bounty before him.
Her nipples were taut pink buds, perched on full, round breasts. He gently captured one nipple between his teeth and flicked it with his tongue. Sapphire moaned and moved sensuously beneath him. Her hands caught at his shoulders, her nails scoring his skin in an erotic caress that had his cock head leaking.
He growled and released her nipple, blowing on the tight bud. Then he moved on to the other one. He licked and caressed, using his mouth and hands to arouse her to even greater heights. Her fingers tangled in his hair, dragging him closer, silently urging him on. He wanted to yell and pound his chest with satisfaction.
Sapphire still wanted him.
His jeans grew incredibly tight and his cock ached to the point of pain, but he ignored it, focusing all his attention on Sapphire.
He drew back and lifted the hem of her nightgown, letting his fingers trail over her calves, behind her knees and up the smooth inside of her sleek thighs. He touched an edge of lace and knew she was wearing panties. He shoved the gown up to her waist and grabbed the band of her panties, pulling them down and off, unable to bear having anything between them any longer.
Her dark curls were damp and the pink folds were swollen and moist. “Oh yeah.” He lifted her butt and lowered his head, inhaling her sweet, musky scent before he touched his mouth to her pussy.
Sapphire didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Every nerve in her body was alive, energized, waiting. Jake was still wearing his jeans, but his torso was bare, allowing her to see and touch his incredible chest. Every muscle was sculpted to perfection by years of hard work. His abs belonged on the cover of some men’s exercise magazine. His broad shoulders tapered down to a trim waist, giving him a chiseled appearance that made her ache to touch him.
Then his tongue caressed the slick folds between her legs and she was lost. She didn’t know what she’d expected, maybe bold and blunt and straight to the point. Instead, his touch was light and gentle, more featherlike as he brushed over her sensitive clit.
She arched her hips. “More,” she groaned. She needed more of his touch. Maybe in the morning when he was gone and she was alone, she’d regret what they were doing. Now, she wanted more, as much as he would give her.
He raised his head and licked his lips. They were moist with her essence and it was a huge turn-on. One corner of his mouth kicked up in a wicked grin before he lowered his mouth back to her heated core.
Sapphire fisted one hand in his hair and the other in her nightgown as she was tortured on the rack of pleasure. His tongue teased her clit, circling the sensitive nub before flicking over it. He explored every pink fold and dark crevice.
He slid two fingers into her tight sheath, parting them to stretch her. Sapphire knew it wouldn’t take much more for her to come. As much as she wanted it to happen, she didn’t want this night to end.
But it was too late to stop the impending explosion. Like a runaway train, her orgasm couldn’t be stopped. Jake flicked her clit at the same time his fingers filled her again and she exploded. Lights flashed behind her eyes. She tipped her head back and arched her hips, crying out as tremors shook her entire body.
How long it lasted, she couldn’t say, but she became aware of her surroundings when she shivered. Now that the moment had passed, the perspiration on her skin was cooling.
Jake released her and pulled the covers up around her shoulders. He kissed her and she could taste herself on his lips. She shivered again and Jake grabbed a throw from a nearby chair and spread that over her as well.
He brushed his hand over her hair and frowned when he touched her hammered silver hairclip. Most of her hair had escaped from the clip, leaving it half down and half up. He removed it and ran his fingers through the thick mass. “That’s better,” he murmured. He set the clip down on the bedside table and reached for his shirt.
She watched him pull it on and button it. He was going to leave, as he’d promised, even though a hard ridge ran down the front of his jeans, leaving no doubt that he was aroused. It would be easy for him to talk her into letting him stay, but neither of them was ready for that yet.
He’d exposed himself emotionally to her and she’d exposed herself physically to him. They both needed to step back. If he was feeling anywhere near as raw as she was, he needed some time alone.
He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Okay.” She had a lot to think about between now and then. He looked as though he might say something more, but simply nodded instead.
She listened carefully and marked his progression through her apartment. He put on his boots and coat and closed the front door behind him, making sure it was locked. She sighed, knowing she should get up and wash off her makeup. At the very least, she should straighten out her nightgown and turn off the light.
She did neither. She lay there a long, long time, her mind awash with emotions and possibilities. Sapphire recognized the dark and controlling nature that drove Jake and made him the man he was, but she also saw the gentle man who iced her bruises and brought her to sexual satisfaction with no thought for his own.
There would be no easy path for them, no easy solution. Only time would tell what would become of them.