Stroke of Sapphire

Chapter Seven

Jake decided to go over to Sapphire’s apartment rather than call her. They could go out if she wanted to, or they could order in if she wanted to stay home. Either way worked for him.

He let himself into the lobby and hit the buzzer for her place. She answered a few seconds later. “Yes.”

“It’s Jake.”

“I thought you were going to call.”

“Figured this was easier.” He waited a few seconds. “You going to let me come up?”

“Oh yes. Right.” The buzzer sounded and he pulled open the door.

He was just stepping into the elevator when his phone rang. “Yeah.” He absently hit the button for Sapphire’s floor.

The voice on the other end was the one he’d been waiting to hear from all day. “So far your boy is boring. Gregor went to work, had lunch with a couple of guys from the office. I’m sending you pictures. After work, he went home and hasn’t gone out since.”

“Keep on him until you’re sure he’s not going out.” Even though he was with Sapphire, he’d rather know where Gregor was.

“Will do.”

“Thanks, man. I deposited your fee into your account this morning.”

“Got it.”

The line went dead. Neither of them liked talking on cell phones. You never knew who might be listening.

The elevator door opened and he stepped out. His heart was beating faster at the thought of seeing Sapphire. He’d missed her today. Squaring his shoulders, he knocked on her door. It opened almost immediately and there she was, a vision in dark-gray trousers, low-heeled shoes and a long-sleeved sweater the color of oatmeal. Her long curly hair hung down her back and her makeup was minimal.

There was his Sapphire. “Hey.” He leaned down and dropped a quick kiss on her lips. “How was your day?” He stepped inside and shut the door.

She shrugged. “Good. Had a meeting with Topaz this morning and spent the afternoon working on designs and some new pieces.”

“Can I see?” He loved her work. It was so feminine and beautiful and innately Sapphire.

“You want to see it?” Her surprise was almost funny, but it made his gut clench.

“Of course I want to see it. You do great work, babe.” He knew her jewelry sold incredibly well at the boutique, and she’d even had an independent line at a major department store.

“Okay.” She turned and went down the short hall to the room on the left. He tried not to look into her bedroom as they passed by and remember what they’d done there last night.

“Have you decided if you want to stay in or go out for dinner?” Jake watched the sexy sway of her ass as she walked in front of him.

“Out. I even changed out of my work clothes.”

Her wry comment amused him. The last couple weeks aside, he knew Sapphire much preferred to be wearing jeans or leggings instead of trousers and heels. “You look amazing, babe.” He didn’t care what she wore. She always looked good to him.

She turned just inside her studio door. “I thought a lot about us today, Jake.”

“And.” Tension crept into his body and his voice.

“And, we spend all our time at my place. I wouldn’t even know where you live if Topaz hadn’t given me John’s address when she moved in with him.” Hands on her hips, she appeared solemn and thoughtful. “I want to know more about you. I need to know more if this thing between us is going to have a chance.”

She didn’t know what she was asking of him. He’d always been secretive, closed-mouthed about his private life, but that had grown almost into obsession over the past twenty years. He also knew he had no choice. He had to let Sapphire in, had to let her see all of him if they were going to have a chance in hell of making it.

He only hoped that she could accept him as he was and that learning more about him wouldn’t scare her off. He was no clean-cut businessman. He was the guy other people went to when the hard jobs needed doing. And he was damn good at it. In fact, Uncle Sam had wanted him to stay on as an instructor, teaching the new generation of soldiers, but he’d declined, knowing he’d already lost too much of his soul in the protection of his country. Not that he regretted it. No, he was proud of his service. It was simply someone else’s turn to bear the burden.

“Sure, we can go to my place. We can pick up something on the way if you want. I don’t think there’s much there to eat.”

“Really?” Sapphire gifted him with a delighted smile and he realized she’d expected him to put her off, to say no.

“Really.” He went to her and gathered her in his arms, unable to resist for one more minute. Her head fit nicely below his chin and he rocked her gently from side to side. She sighed and put her hands around his waist.

He wanted to yell and beat his chest like a conquering hero. Instead, he kissed the top of her head, inhaling the citrus scent of her shampoo and the lighter floral of her body lotion. He knew she didn’t wear perfume, but she always smelled so damn good. He could eat her up.

His cock flexed in agreement and he was careful not to press his hips against hers, afraid she might step back if she knew how damn much he wanted her. “Show me your jewelry.” If he didn’t do something to take his mind off her sinful scent and delectable curves, they were never going to make it out of her apartment. In the short term, they’d both enjoy themselves, but he sensed it was very important to her to see his place. So therefore it was important to him that she get what she wanted.

He could wait. He was good at it.

She dropped her arms and walked over to a workbench. “This is one of the new pieces.” She held it out to him.

It was very different from anything she’d ever shown him before, more masculine and edgy. The various metals formed a pattern that reminded him of the pipes in an industrial power plant. But it was much more artistic and pleasing to the eye.

She was chewing on her bottom lip, a nervous gesture he recognized from their time together. As her bodyguard, he’d learned a lot about her and her moods, and that gave him an advantage. For some reason, she was nervous about what he thought of her work.

“It’s incredible.” And it was. Different, but it had the same sense of completeness and style that all her pieces had. “Not your usual design.” Sapphire’s jewelry was deeply feminine, dipping into fantasy.

“No, it’s something different I wanted to try. Topaz and I talked about opening up another space in the store, a storage room we barely use, and create a Sisters’ Jewels Urban, a place for edgier pieces. She’s going to approach Emerald about doing some complementary pieces to go with my designs.”

There was no mistaking her delight. “That’s wonderful news. Is that what your meeting was about this morning?”

She nodded, her eyes shining with happiness as she held up a pair of earrings that matched the design of the bracelet. “Kind of. I was thinking about offering it as part of a mass market line through a department store, but Topaz came up with this idea.”

“And you like it more.” There was no question in his mind that Sapphire would rather work with her sisters than with a large retailer, not matter how much more money she might make with them.

“Absolutely.” She set the earrings down and took the bracelet from him, replacing it on her work counter. “I’ll still be designing regular pieces for Sisters’ Jewels lines, but this way I get to stretch myself artistically.”

As much as he knew about her, he found Sapphire fascinating. “Tell me all about it on the way to my place.”

The smile she gave him had his dick standing tall and his heart thudding harder. She was really giving them a chance. He marveled at her generosity and bravery, not sure he’d have been able to do the same if she’d been the one to hurt him.

As soon as he thought it, he knew he’d do the same. He really had no choice. Sapphire had become essential to his life. Somehow, this quiet, artistic soul had made a place for herself in his heart, even though he’d barricaded and closed that organ off for years.

He helped her on with her coat and took her hand after she locked her apartment door behind them. “What would you like to eat? We can order and pick it up on the way to my place.”

Sapphire’s eyes widened when she got her first look at Jake’s home. The brownstone was old but well tended, and it certainly had character. Broad steps led up to a hunter-green door with a brass handle and trim. A tall, thin window flanked either side of the door. It was lovely.

“Come on.” Jake ushered her toward the door, one hand on her back and the other one balancing their dinner. They’d decided on pizza, half vegetarian and half meat-lovers special. “Hold this.” He gave her the box and unlocked the door, holding it as she stepped into the foyer.

“There are two apartments on this floor that we rent.” He let her keep the pizza and urged her toward the stairs. “I have the entire second floor and John has the third. I suppose John and Topaz have the third now.”

“Are they home?” She couldn’t quite contain the worry in her voice.

“I have no idea. Why?”

She shrugged, not wanting to talk about her sister and his brother and how much either of them might know about the situation.

He frowned as he unlocked his door and held it open for her. “You haven’t told her about us, have you?”

She sailed inside, pizza clutched tight in her hands. “No. I didn’t see the need.”

“I see.” Jake closed the door and locked it.

She wasn’t quite certain what it was he saw. She also wasn’t sure why she hadn’t told her sister about them, only that it seemed too personal to share. Of course, there was always the worry that Topaz would confront Jake and make their situation worse. Topaz took her role of older sister very seriously.

She set the pizza down on a table just inside the door and got her first good look at Jake’s home. It was a masculine space with the flat-screen television dominating the living room. His sofa was dark-brown leather, large and looked comfortable. A slightly battered, well-used chair sat off to the side. The floor was hardwood without a rug to soften it. There were no throw pillows and only wood blinds covered the windows.

Jake grabbed the pizza box and carried it into the dining area. Sapphire followed, wanting to see more of his home. His dining area was just as sparse as his living room. A wooden table sat in the center surrounded by four chairs. There was no art on the walls and the table was bare. He dropped the pizza on the table and continued on into the kitchen, which was separated from the dining room by only a countertop.

Jake collected two plates and two pieces of paper towel to use as napkins and came back to the table. “What would you like to drink? I’ve got red wine, beer, water or ginger ale.”

“I’ll have a glass of wine.” She needed something to steady her nerves. Being here with Jake, seeing his home, was giving her a whole new insight into the man. He and his brother had owned this building for several years, but Jake’s space looked as though he’d just moved in. It was stark, with nothing personal at all to say anything about the man who lived here. She’d only lived in her own space a few short weeks and it already felt much homier than his place.

It was as though his need to protect his privacy spilled over into his own home. What must it be like to live that way? So guarded and alone.

It made her heart hurt to think of him sitting in that large living room chair all by himself with little to comfort him. She could easily imagine him kicking back by himself to watch some sports event on his rather large television. Jake liked all sports and would watch just about anything. She favored hockey and baseball and wasn’t all that fond of football.

Jake placed a glass of wine in front of her and set a beer down by his plate. “You okay?” His deep voice broke into her contemplations and she smiled at him.

“I’m fine.” He was so handsome it made her ache to touch him, to reassure him he was no longer alone. But that wasn’t altogether true. It was up to him to let her into his life. She couldn’t force her way in. He had to really want her to be a part of it.

“You sure?” He pulled out the chair next to her and sat, his gaze still on her.

She nodded and reached for a piece of pizza—the vegetarian side. Jake grabbed a slice from the other side and took a big bite. She watched his strong jaw chew and his throat ripple when he swallowed.

Heat crept up her cheeks and she lowered her head and took a bite of pizza. Honestly, she had to stop looking at him as though she wanted to nibble on his jawline, to lick his stellar chest and washboard abs. Her nipples tightened and she bit back a sigh.

She had a lot of questions to ask, but was reluctant to break the companionable silence that existed between them. Still, she’d never been a coward and wasn’t about to start now. “I did some research online today.” After she’d gotten home from her meeting with Topaz, she’d done some digging around on the internet, trying to come to grips with what Jake had told her. She’d seen some strange and slightly disturbing things while researching BDSM websites.

“About what?” He finished his first slice and started another. His gaze was steady as he watched her. Sapphire picked up her wine and had a sip, letting the fruity flavor tickle her taste buds before sliding down her throat.

“About the whole control in the bedroom thing.” She took a deep breath and blurted out her question. “Are you into the whole BDSM thing? You know, with leather and whips and stuff?” Because she wasn’t sure she could handle anything that hardcore.

He set down the slice of pizza he was holding. “What gave you that idea?”

She frowned at him. “I suppose it was your whole lecture on needing control in the bedroom and me not being able to handle it.” What else was she supposed to think?

He dragged his fingers through his hair. “Hell no. Not that there’s anything wrong with it if it’s what people want, but I don’t understand the attraction and, frankly, I wouldn’t get any joy out of it.”

Sapphire was totally confused. “Then what did you mean?”

Jake’s chair scraped back and he stood. He held out his hand and said nothing. Slowly, she got to her feet and slid her hand into his. He scooped her into his arms and carried her into the living room, bypassing the sofa and heading straight to the disreputable looking chair. From the sad state of this particular piece of furniture, she could tell it was his favorite.

He sat and settled her comfortably in his lap. His jaw was dark with beard stubble and she reached out and ran her fingers over it, unable to resist. The rasp was an erotic caress against her skin. He captured her hand and kissed her knuckles before setting it against his heart. The beat was steady and strong. Comforting.

“I’m not into the whole BDSM scene,” he began, and she found herself relaxing against him, releasing a low sigh of relief.

“Then what is it you want?” She truly wanted to understand him and what made him walk away from her the first time. She had to know if she was going to be able to give him another chance.

They might have been intimate the other night, but it took more than sex to have a relationship. It took understanding, respect and liking as well.

He ran his free hand up and down her thigh, momentarily distracting her. Sapphire was glad she’d worn pants and not a skirt or she’d probably be in danger of forgetting about this entire conversation. His hand on her bare skin always felt so good.

“I spent twenty years in the army, and a good chunk of that time I was in hostile territory.”

“I know.” She was glad she hadn’t known him then or she wasn’t sure she’d have been able to handle the stress of knowing he was in constant danger. She didn’t know how military spouses found the strength to deal with it day after day. She had a great deal of respect for them.

“There’s a lot of things out of your control during a mission. So you control what you can and plan for all other possibilities.”

Sapphire nodded but said nothing, not wanting him to stop talking. She’d thought a lot about what working as a sniper all those years must have been like. And she knew her imagination couldn’t come anywhere close to the truth.

“I lived minute to minute, second to second. Sometimes never knowing what was going to happen. I learned that being in control of myself and my surroundings helped me deal with things better.”

She could understand that. She rubbed her hand over his chest, wanting to comfort him in some small way, knowing this conversation was the turning point in their relationship. Dread and hope warred within her, and she had no idea which one was going to win.

He laughed, but it wasn’t a pleasant sound. “I’m what you might call a bit of a control freak. Great for a sniper, not so great in a relationship.” He briefly closed his eyes. He seemed tired and she wished she could do something to help him, but she knew letting him talk was the best thing for both of them.

His gaze captured hers and she sucked in a breath at the torment she saw in his eyes. “I need to be in control in order to relax enough to enjoy sex. Do you understand what I’m saying to you?”

His confession shocked her. “You mean you can’t achieve orgasm unless you’re in charge in the bedroom.”

He nodded. “If I feel out of control, then my need for sex disappears and it becomes all about regaining control.” He gave her a rueful smile. “There are some women who find that kind of thing a turn-on the first few times, but they get tired of it eventually. I’ve been called a control freak and just plain scary by a few old girlfriends. I stopped dating before I even left the military.”

Sapphire knew her jaw was hanging open. To imagine a man as virile and wholly masculine as Jake going for months or longer without sex was unbelievable. “You mean, you stopped—” She couldn’t figure out a good way to ask him if he’d stopped having sex.

A quick grin flashed across his face before disappearing. “You should see the look on your face, babe. I won’t lie. I’ve had a few one-night stands along the way, but those left me cold and I eventually stopped. I haven’t had a woman in my life full-time for about a decade.

“The last time I tried it ended badly. She tried her best, but couldn’t handle what I needed from her.” He sighed and a deep sadness seemed to engulf him before he shook off the memory. “I heard she ended up in therapy. I figured I was better off alone.”

“But…” She still couldn’t wrap her mind around what he was telling her.

“Don’t be so surprised. I’m disciplined, especially after spending so many years in hostile lands far away from women. I can use my hand when I have to.”

His blunt assessment of the situation didn’t surprise her. This was Jake, the man who did what needed doing. She’d trusted him with her life and would again. But he didn’t totally trust her. Whether he realized it or not, his issue was really about trust. He didn’t trust himself with anyone. Could she live with that?

She wasn’t one of those women who were stupid enough to go into a relationship thinking she could change a man. That way led to heartache. If he changed somewhere down the road it would be because he wanted to, and odds were good that he would never change. He was forty years old and knew his strengths and weaknesses well, maybe even better than most because of everything he’d lived through.

“Sapphire.” He caught her chin and lifted it until their gazes were level. She lost herself in his pale-blue eyes. They were usually clear and emotionless, but not tonight. Tonight they blazed with longing, with need, for her. “Will you stay with me?”

She knew what he was asking her. If she stayed tonight, she was agreeing to let him have control of her, to do whatever he asked of her, whenever he asked it.

She nibbled on her bottom lip as uncertainty ate at her. “Only in the bedroom, right?” She needed to understand the parameters of this thing before they started.

His fingers stroked through her dark curls and he pulled her face closer to his. “I love your independent spirit, your creativity, your light. I wouldn’t change a single thing about you, Sapphire.”

“But?” She could hear the unspoken word.

“But sometimes I can be a bit overbearing and pushy outside the bedroom too.”

“Nooo,” she teased. “Not you.”

His lips curved into a sheepish grin. “I guess that comes as no surprise.”

She leaned forward until their foreheads were touching. “Jake, you were my bodyguard for weeks. You’re autocratic and overbearing at times.” He tensed but she ignored it and continued. “But you’re also kind and funny and sexy as all get out. I know who you are. As long as you don’t expect me to obey you outside the bedroom we’ll be fine.” She leaned back and smiled. “Outside the bedroom, we’ll just fight like normal couples when you get domineering or heavy-handed.”

He laughed and hugged her tight. “I expect you’re right.” All laughter faded when he cupped her face. “Give yourself to me.”

This was it. The moment of truth was at hand. Was she ready and willing to give herself, body and soul, over to Jake? Because that’s what it would take. There would be no holding back once they started making love. He would demand everything from her, and he needed it in order to find his own enjoyment.

Could she do this? Could she not?

The air practically snapped with tension. Every muscle in Jake’s body hardened, including his cock, which pressed heavily against her hip. He was making no effort to hide how much he wanted her.

She stared into his eyes, took a deep breath and jumped off the relationship cliff. “Yes.”