Sweet Addiction

CHAPTER 13

By the time they slowed to turn into Cole’s driveway, Ren had regained her composure—mostly—and repaired her makeup and straightened her clothing. If it weren’t for her rapid pulse, she could fool herself into thinking this was just another exciting sexual venture for her and Lucas.

But it wasn’t and no amount of telling herself would change the fact that for tonight, she was Cole Madison’s.

Edgy excitement cut through the guilt and worry. Her body hummed with sharp arousal—and curiosity. Would she even respond to his commands now? Did he possess the knowledge to give her what she needed?

They slowed at the gate and her eyebrows rose when the driver had to stop and press the intercom button. She glanced out the window into the darkness but couldn’t see the house from where they were parked.

A moment later, the gate slowly swung open and the limousine proceeded onto the grounds. The driveway was long and winding and only after several seconds did the house come into view.

It was beautiful. Light was cast onto the house from an array of ground lighting. The front was composed of stone instead of brick. Rustic and rugged looking. Exactly how she imagined Cole would have his house.

From what she could see of the grounds, they were exquisitely rendered and professionally maintained. Nothing seemed out of place.

The driver pulled to a stop in front of the circle drive of the house and before Lucas could open the door, Cole appeared at the top of the steps just outside the front entryway.

Ren scooted to the edge of the seat as Lucas got out in front of her. For a moment her view of Cole was blocked but then Lucas shifted to the side and extended his hand to help her out.

Cole was focused solely on her, his gaze locked. As her hand slid into Lucas’s she prayed she wouldn’t betray her nervousness by shaking.

No matter what Lucas had arranged, she was here as Lucas’s possession and she would not bring shame to him by acting anything but calm and measured. Everything she did reflected on Lucas. She represented him in all things.

She stood gracefully as Lucas pulled her the remaining way out. The door closed behind her and she dimly heard Lucas give his driver instructions.

She ate Cole up with her gaze. He leaned against one of the columns decorating his front porch, hands in the pockets of his slacks. The pose was deceptively relaxed because she could see the tension in his eyes. She could feel it.

Dear God, this was real. She was walking up the sidewalk to Cole Madison’s front door. She was here to belong to him for the evening. Maybe even the night. She had no idea of Lucas’s plans. Only that she was to give herself unreservedly.

Butterflies scuttled around her stomach, but this time they weren’t because of nerves. Excitement danced its way through her veins. Desire. Lust. All there at the idea of this man possessing her even for a short period of time.

Lucas assisted her up the steps and they stopped in front of Cole.

Cole tore his gaze from Ren as if loath to even acknowledge Lucas, but he stuck to protocol and addressed the man who owned her first.

“Lucas, I’m glad you and Ren could make it.”

Lucas extended his hand and Cole shook it as the two men exchanged polite greetings.

Then Cole reached for her hand and Lucas released it. An electric charge singed over her skin as soon as Cole curled his fingers around hers. He pulled it up in a formal gesture and pressed a kiss to her knuckles.

“Ren, you look beautiful.”

She blushed. Actually blushed, her face warm with pleasure. Cole slowly lowered her hand and then motioned toward the door.

“Please come in.”

As soon as Ren stepped inside she noted the innate comfort that oozed from every corner. There was nothing cold or sterile about this house. It was warm and inviting. Decorated and furnished for comfort.

The couches and chairs were sumptuous, plush leather. The artwork wasn’t modern, inexplicable renderings of God only knew what. Instead there was a rustic theme both in décor and color scheme that she loved.

It looked—and felt—like Cole. The Cole she remembered. The Cole he always wanted to be.

Sadness and regret welled inside her. Perhaps this would have been their home. Or maybe she needed to accept that they weren’t meant to be.

For a moment she lost herself and nearly went to sit when Cole made a motion for Lucas to get comfortable. After a half step, she froze and went instead to the middle of the living room to await instruction.

Lucas had already told her. Tonight she was Cole’s to command.

She glanced Lucas’s way, just insecure enough to want his reassurance. He gave it with a slight nod. Approval flashed in his eyes, eyes that were usually closely guarded in front of others, but he knew how on edge she was.

Carefully she turned in Cole’s direction and raised her gaze until she met his. The intensity in his expression sent shivers down her back. It was a delicious sensation of knowing she was hunted. There was no mistaking the naked desire in those brilliant blue eyes.

She caught her breath, suddenly nervous, giddy, excited to hear what his first command would be.

Cole stared at Ren, his chest so tight it threatened to split open. She was here. In his living room, his home, where she belonged. Where she’d always belonged.

She was here but she belonged to another man, and Cole was expected to perform in front of him so he could be judged. Deemed worthy of Ren. Hell, this sucked. He didn’t want to share Ren with anyone. He wanted her where no one else could see her, where he could lavish her with attention. Spoil her endlessly.

Lucas’s words flashed in his mind. She needed strength. She liked the hard edges. She craved them, needed them. Whatever happened between them for the rest of their time together, tonight he had to convince Lucas Holt that he could leave knowing Ren would be taken care of.

“Come to me,” he said, not making a move toward her. It took a lot of discipline not to charge over, throw her over his shoulder and carry her off to his bedroom. Fuck Lucas Holt and his damn expectations.

But he forced himself to maintain the tight discipline he held in all other areas of his life. Apparently when it came to Ren, everything he knew deserted him. She stripped him bare.

Ren walked on soft feet the few steps to where he stood. She was so close he could smell her. Sweet, a little exotic and infinitely mysterious.

Their gazes caught and held. He could drown in those oddly colored green eyes of hers.

“Kiss me.”

Her eyes widened. She was surprised by his command. But with little hesitation, she closed the remaining distance between them, pressed her body against his and leaned up to press her lips to his.

He inhaled deeply, overcome at the assault on his senses. Touch, smell, taste …Dear God, her taste.

He cupped her face in his hands and then slid his fingers back until they tangled in her hair. He held her captive, or maybe she held him in her thrall. Either way he wasn’t about to hurry this moment.

He fed on her lips. Absorbed her sweetness. Their tongues brushed, flirted, retreated and then boldly advanced again.

For too long he’d merely dreamed of holding her again. Of being able to kiss her and know that she was his.

His lungs screaming for air, he dragged his mouth away and slowly released her. She stumbled a bit and he caught her arms, glancing down at the wickedly high heels she wore.

He frowned. “Take off your shoes before you hurt yourself.”

There was faint amusement on her face as she slid the fuck-me shoes off and let them fall to the floor. As if he needed her wearing those shoes for him to want to fuck her …It was all he’d thought about for the last several days.

“You sound like Lucas,” she murmured.

He scowled, not at all flattered by the comparison. She frowned a little in return, worry flashing in her eyes. Worry that she’d displeased him. He purposely steeled his features, angry that he’d allowed her to see his reaction.

“Take off your clothes. Piece by piece. Don’t rush. You may lay them on the desk by the window.”

Color rushed to her cheeks and she glanced downward. He found her shyness both endearing and heartbreaking. It hurt that the woman who used to undress so boldly before him was now self-conscious, as if he were a complete stranger.

He moved to her and her head yanked up, fear now crowding behind the nervousness. She licked her lips, poised to voice an apology for her hesitation. He could read her as surely as if she’d already said the words aloud.

He simply shook his head and then pulled her into his arms. He lowered her head so he could whisper in her ear. “Don’t be afraid of me, Ren. It would kill me. I’ll never hurt you. I would rather be alone with you so that we could rediscover each other in private, but this is Lucas’s requirement and the only way I could have you.”

She relaxed into his arms and rubbed her cheek along his shoulder, a motion so achingly familiar that it damn near gutted him.

Instead of having her carry out his command, he began to undress her himself. The last thing he wanted was for her to be on edge around him. Anything he could do to assuage her fears and uncertainty, he’d do.

He held his breath as he untied her top and let it fall away. She went to pull at her skirt, but he put his hand on hers. “No. Let me. I’ve decided I’d like to do it myself.”

Her fingers shook as she let her hand fall to her side.

His knuckles graced the softness of her belly as he lowered his hand to catch at the waistband of the frilly skirt. Unsure of who he was teasing more, her or himself, he inched the material down until finally it billowed to the floor at her feet.

There she was, adorned only in lacy black lingerie, looking so sensual and utterly beautiful that he couldn’t breathe. He didn’t want to breathe. He just wanted to stare and drink her in until he was high on nothing but her.

She lifted her chin, and for the first time since he’d commanded her, she returned his gaze head on. She was as aroused as he was. Satisfaction was a savage thrill that coursed through his veins like a potent drug. She wanted him. There was no disguising the truth in eyes that never lied.

“Take off the panties. Just your panties,” Cole whispered, barely about to speak around the knot in his throat.

Her thumbs tracked down until they caught in the thin string of the delicate lace. She did a little shimmy with her hips to ease the scrap of material down her legs and he nearly swallowed his tongue.

Soft, creamy skin. Smooth legs. Hips with just enough curve to be damn sexy and an enticing place for his hands to rest.

At the V of those perfect legs was a tiny triangle of trimmed, dark hair and it fired his imagination. Did she keep her lips smooth and bare as she had when they were together?

He’d never forget the first time she’d shyly presented her newly waxed flesh. He’d spent hours touching, licking and coaxing her to orgasm after orgasm.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Lucas move. Just shifting one leg over the other, but it brought reality crashing back. Total buzzkill.

He was expected to perform. To another man’s standards. It made him want to bare his teeth and snarl like a predator issuing a challenge. If only it were that simple …

He turned away from Ren, leaving her standing in only her bra. He pulled a condom from his pocket, resentful of the need to use one. Lucas probably had her bareback on a daily basis. If Ren were Cole’s he sure as hell wouldn’t have anything between his dick and the pure sweetness of her flesh.

He lowered himself onto the armless leather chair and let his legs sprawl apart. Then he held the condom out to her and motioned her over.

She came without hesitation and stood before him, waiting his next instruction.

“Unzip me, suck me hard and then put the condom on.”

Her eyes narrowed to half slits and they burned with sudden fire. He smiled secretly to himself. She still loved it when he talked crudely and explicitly to her.

She went gracefully to her knees, her hair falling forward over one shoulder. Her hands smoothed up his legs, a subtle tease, before she unbuttoned his fly and slowly lowered the zipper.

She pulled at his underwear, slipping the band over his rigid arousal until finally he was free. His dick popped out and into the warm clasp of her hand. As soon as she gripped him, he damn near passed out.

He’d told her to get him hard, but from the moment he’d stepped out of his front door to see her getting out of the limo, he’d been nothing more than a walking, talking erection.

She lowered her head and gently tucked him into her mouth. He moaned, not keeping his pleasure from her. She made a sound of appreciation around the head of his dick and then sucked him deeper.

“That’s it,” he murmured. “Good girl. That feels so good. Deeper. Now hold it. Yeah, just like that.”

He felt her quiver around him, her soft sounds of pleasure spilling from her throat. She’d always loved when he was vocal during sex. Loved when he told her exactly what pleased him.

He pushed his fingers into her hair, pulling the strands back so he could see her cheeks puff out and then suck in around his cock. Her eyes were half closed, satisfaction glowing brightly in their depths.

He could hardly believe that she was here, between his knees, her mouth around him. It was a scene from his deepest held dreams, the ones he wouldn’t admit to himself in the light of day but would look forward to each and every night.

It should irritate him or somehow make him feel much younger and less mature than his thirty-plus years that for all practical purposes he’d pined for this woman for ten years. But all he could think was that finally, finally she was here, with him, where she belonged.

He tightened his hold in her hair and then gently pulled through the strands so they spilled over his hand like a midnight sky.

“You decide when it’s enough,” he said in a low voice. “After you put the condom on, I want you to straddle me and take me inside you. If you aren’t ready, tell me so that I can better prepare you.”

He could hardly wait to have her in his arms. All of her. Her astride him, his dick embedded deeply in her body, his arms full of lush, beautiful woman.

She worked him in and out of her mouth several more seconds and then carefully eased her lips over the crown and then away, leaving his cock slick and shiny with her saliva.

She opened the condom and deftly rolled it down his rigid length and he stared at it, hating every inch of the latex as it sheathed him. Then she rose, standing before him in just that wicked sexy bra that barely covered the tops of her nipples.

He held out his hands to take hers and helped her position herself astride him. She settled onto her knees on either side of his hips and then reached down for his dick.

He shook his head and pushed her arm back up. “Put your hands on my shoulders and hold on.”

He reached down to position his cock at her opening, rubbing up and down her slit to tease her. She let out a small sigh and briefly closed her eyes.

“Open your eyes,” he said in the same measured tone he’d used with her thus far. “I want to see you when I slide into you, Ren. I want you to see me and know who it is inside you.”

“I would know,” she whispered.

He smiled.

He eased his hips up the tiniest bit so that the head of his cock was lodged just inside her. Then he met her gaze and issued his next command.

“Take me.”

Her eyes widened, the pupils flaring. A shudder rolled through her and her fingers bit into his shoulders.

“That’s right, Ren. I want you to fuck me. There’ll be plenty of time for me to do the fucking. For now I want you to ride me.”

She let out a small whimper as she began her downward slide. She opened around him and he let out a strangled moan as she fisted him in her hot, velvet glove.

He moved his hands to those delectable hips and reached around to cup her ass. Just the right amount of softness to the cheeks. Right shape. Firm and yet plush. Yeah, he was an ass man. He’d admit that. But her legs were a very close second. Especially in those sexy-as-hell shoes. He was determined to fuck her in those shoes at a later date. Just her shoes on and a smile.

He lifted, helping her to push upward until his dick was nearly free and then he lowered her back down until he was once again surrounded by hot, liquid silk.

That black lace bra was tantalizing him. Staring him in the face, the tops of her breasts plumped up over the demi cups almost baring her nipples. Almost. And that was what was killing him.

He put his arms around her and slid his hands up her back to the clasp of her bra. In a single motion he popped the hooks and the bra came free. He reached up, pulled her hands down from his shoulders long enough to free her of the bra, and then he stared greedily at the plump swells and her dark nipples that were so rigid that they’d puckered into tight little beads.

“Offer me your breasts,” he said. “Cup them and guide them toward my mouth. I want to taste them.”

She shuddered again and clamped down on his cock, sending a spasm of delight though his groin. Then she dropped her hands from his shoulders and cupped her full breasts in her palms. She stroked her nipples with the ends of her thumb and then leaned forward, offering him one, holding it teasingly close to his lips.

Instead of taking it in his mouth, he flicked out his tongue and licked the bud.

“The other now,” he said huskily.

She moved so the other was there for him to take. This time he grazed the point with his teeth and nipped playfully until she made another sound that bordered on desperation.

“Ask me to suck them.”

She swallowed but then said in a voice that was barely above a whisper, “Suck my nipples, Cole. Please.”

“Louder. I can’t hear you,” Lucas said.

Ren’s head snapped up and she turned in Lucas’s direction, her eyes wide and guilty. Cole cursed the other man’s intrusion but perhaps it had been intentional. A reminder of his presence.

He shot a withering stare in the other man’s direction. He hadn’t appreciated the interruption. As long as he could hear Ren, he didn’t give a damn if Lucas could or not. She wasn’t fucking Lucas. She was fucking Cole.

Then Lucas rose and walked toward the chair where Cole sat with Ren astride him.

“Tell me, Madison. Do you prefer her pussy or her ass for the next little while?”

CHAPTER 14

What Cole wanted to do was tell Lucas to fuck off. This hadn’t been part of the agreement. As far as Cole understood, Lucas was supposed to observe. Nothing more. Then make a quiet exit leaving Ren to him for the next two weeks.

And it wasn’t that Cole hadn’t had a threesome here and there, but they were by far his less preferred method of sexual release. He just didn’t share well. He could see the appeal. Had understood it when he’d joined Micah to have sex with Micah’s submissive, Angelina. Angelina had been an exception for Cole.

But the idea of sharing Ren made him get all snarly and possessive and a whole host of other things he didn’t really want to examine too closely.

Lucas met his gaze and calmly stared back at him. There was something in the other man’s eyes that told Cole he needed to go along. And Lucas didn’t push. He didn’t insist. Nor did he try to take control and order Cole around. Well, because if he had, it would have been all over. Cole would have thrown Lucas out and then taken Ren up to his bed where he would have kept her tied up for the next twenty years or so.

No, Lucas wasn’t being pushy at all. But his expression told Cole not to challenge him on this.

Hell.

The idea of rolling over and going along just pissed him off.

Remembering also that Lucas had said Ren had exacting standards …Well, maybe this was some fucking test he had to pass in order for Ren to accept this whole thing.

In which case, he’d swallow a lot of bitter pills if it meant having Ren.

“Since I’m already balls deep in her pussy, I think I’ll take her ass,” Cole drawled. “What do you have in mind, exactly?”

“It will require you to get up close and personal with me and certain portions of my anatomy,” Lucas said lazily. “Think you can handle that?”

“If I’m in Ren’s ass, I don’t really give a fuck what you’re doing at the time,” Cole returned through gritted teeth.

Hell, was Lucas a bisexual? Because if so, this was so not going to work out in the least. He’d seen plenty of cock. It didn’t bother him. He could appreciate another man’s body with the best of them. But he appreciated it best when it was fucking another woman’s brains out and he could watch. Yeah, he appreciated that kind of cock. But it didn’t mean he wanted it in any of his orifices.

Lucas looked amused, almost as if he was purposely fucking with Cole’s head. Cole wasn’t amused. He just wanted Lucas to leave already.

“Ren, get down on the floor, shoulders down and put your legs up on Cole’s lap,” Lucas ordered.

Cole’s eyebrows went up because he wasn’t getting a real good picture of how this position was going to work, but it still managed to intrigue the hell out of him.

Ren rose up, releasing his cock from her pussy. His cock flagged upward, trying its best to get back inside her.

Still straddling his lap, she reached for his hands and gripped them tight.

“Lower me down,” she said.

Still not sure what exactly she was doing, he did as she asked and held her steady as she bent backwards and slid headfirst down to the floor until her shoulders met the carpet. Her back rested between his thighs against the chair, and her ass …Well, it was in perfect position. Now he was getting the idea.

Lucas took her legs and levered them back toward him, which only gave Cole an even better view of, not to mention access to, her tight little ass.

Lucas planted his feet on either side of Ren’s waist and crowded in. He fumbled with his fly, releasing his cock with an impatient jerk. He was up and over Ren’s opening, sliding home in one forceful thrust.

Holy shit but it looked hot.

Lucas silently handed him a tube of KY, and Cole wasted no time applying a liberal amount over his condom-covered erection. He levered himself up so that his cock was tucked to her tiny asshole but he hesitated, looking back up at Lucas.

They were both large men. She was a small woman. With Lucas already stuffed tight into her pussy, her ass was looking smaller all the time.

“I don’t want to hurt her.”

“Do you think even for a minute that I’d do anything to harm Ren?” Lucas asked calmly.

There was no anger. No ego. No hurt pride. Just a simple question that he obviously didn’t expect an answer to.

Cole pressed downward, eyes closing at the exquisite sense of her flesh opening around him and tugging him deeper. Holy hell, she was tight.

His hands covered those plump ass cheeks. He gathered them in his palms, squeezed and massaged as he pushed harder.

After a moment where her body fought his invasion, she opened around him and he slid all the way in.

“Now fuck her,” Lucas said.

“I don’t take direction from you,” Cole snarled.

“You do until I give her into your care,” Lucas said quietly. “Now fuck her. Show her the hard edges now that she’s seen the softer ones. Give her what she wants, Madison.”

Wanting only to get rid of the other man as quickly as possible, Cole complied with the request. He began plunging into Ren’s ass while Lucas rode her pussy with quick, ruthless strokes.

“She doesn’t come,” Lucas said as they moved in unison. “Not yet. Not until I’ve gone. Once we’re finished, it’ll be up to you to give her the pleasure she deserves.”

Some of Cole’s irritation eased away. He was beginning to realize that this was some ritual. One he didn’t entirely understand but it was a rite of passage nonetheless. Lucas took his responsibility to Ren seriously. Even now he was easing her into Cole’s command. How he could simply walk away mystified Cole, but then Cole himself had walked away once so he had no room to judge another man. Especially when he had Ren’s best interests at heart.

For several long minutes, they pushed her relentlessly. They fucked her without mercy and she seemed to love every moment of it. She alternated between tight little whimpers, soft moans of pleasure and groans of frustration when they held her orgasm at bay.

Lucas’s face grew more strained and then he rasped out to Cole, “Pull out.”

Without contemplating why, Cole slid out of her ass.

“Hold her open,” Lucas said.

Cole gripped her ass cheeks and spread them, so that her opening gaped, distended from his rough possession.

Then Lucas jerked out of her pussy and circled his cock with his hand, yanking in short, rapid motions.

Cum spurted onto her ass, most of it sliding into her opening. He directed two more streams and then slid quickly back into her pussy, thrusting as he continued to come inside her.

“Now fuck her,” Lucas said hoarsely.

Cole understood that this was symbolic. Sort of a branding. Lucas marking her as his in the most intimate way he could before he released her into another man’s keeping.

Oddly aroused and incredibly turned on by the thought of forcing another man’s cum into her body with his cock, Cole positioned himself and then plunged deep, pushing the liquid deep inside her.

“Now you come,” Lucas said as his thrusts slowed.

Cole needed no urging in that department. He was already so on edge that the slightest touch would send him spiraling into the abyss.

He ground his jaw tight and then slammed into her. Half a dozen punishing thrusts and he was coming and coming until he thought he’d blown the head of his dick right off.

“Pull her up but stay inside her while I say my good-byes,” Lucas said quietly.

When Cole complied and pulled Ren to sit in his lap, his cock still wedged deep inside her ass, her eyes were wide with alarm. And panic.

She looked desperately at Lucas over her shoulder, and it was obvious he hadn’t told her of his arrangement with Cole. Or at least not all of it. Cole swore under his breath.

Ren stared at Lucas, sure she hadn’t heard him correctly. Say his good-byes? What did that mean exactly? She didn’t dare move. Didn’t dare leap from Cole’s lap as she had the sudden urge to.

She waited. Dying a little more with each breath.

Lucas moved to her side then leaned forward and gathered her face in his palms. His touch was exquisitely gentle, his expression tender as he lowered his mouth to brush across her lips.

“You will obey Cole as you obey me. You will please Cole as you please me. In two weeks’ time I’ll return for you.”

She closed her eyes against the sudden stab of pain. But he kissed each closed eyelid and whispered an order for her to look at him.

Her eyelids fluttered open and he stroked his thumb over one cheekbone. Carefully he undid the clasp of her platinum collar until it came loose and fell into his hand. Oh God, no, he wasn’t. He couldn’t!

She stared in shock as he pulled the collar from her neck. Fear and uncertainty clawed at her. It was worse than any whip or crop. She felt naked and so very vulnerable. Stripped. She no longer had a tangible sign of his ownership.

He turned to straighten his clothing and right his appearance.

Her heart tripped and turned over, thudding painfully against her chest wall. She held her breath until she felt light-headed.

Don’t go.

She wanted to say it aloud but instead bit her lip until she tasted blood.

It was like reliving the day Cole walked away from her all over again. She hadn’t realized how much she could still hurt as she watched Lucas walk away from her without so much as looking back.

Had he grown tired of her? Was this his way of ensuring she would be cared for? By giving her to a former lover who professed to still have feelings for her? Would Lucas even bother returning in two weeks as he’d promised or was it all a pretense to avoid an uncomfortable parting?

Only when he was gone from the room did a tear slip down her cheek. Her breaths squeezed painfully from her chest.

Cole cursed softly and his arms came around her body, pulling her against his chest. He held her close, his warmth enveloping her. He rested his cheek against the side of her head and then carefully eased himself from her body.

She flinched as he pulled out of her ass. Her desire had slipped away the moment Lucas had mentioned the word good-bye. She was frozen, caught in a wasteland. She didn’t want to be having sex with Cole. She wanted to be with Lucas. She wanted him to be the one taking care of her and commanding her.

Gently, Cole turned her in his arms and then cradled her close, his hand smoothing over her hair. He didn’t say anything. He simply held her, his chin resting on top of her head.

“I’m sorry,” he said simply. “I never intended to cause you hurt.”

No, she sensed he was as out of sorts as she was with Lucas’s sudden departure. What she didn’t know is if this was a predetermined arrangement or if Cole was just annoyed at how Lucas had handled it. Either way, she now belonged to another man for the next two weeks and deep down she feared that Lucas wouldn’t be back for her. Ever.

CHAPTER 15

Now that Lucas had departed, Ren felt awkwardness descend. She wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do. How she was supposed to feel. She was a blunt, direct person, but right now, the very last thing she wanted was to discuss her feelings. She’d rather drink acid.

Already she could feel herself unraveling. The boundaries seemed to crumble. She hated this feeling. Hadn’t felt this way sense she’d fled her last relationship and had been so desperate to reestablish her parameters. Her safety net.

Oh God, what if he didn’t come back? What if he, like Cole, chose to just simply walk away?

And then Cole’s voice. Sharp. Lean like a whip. Crisp. Cut into her scattered thoughts and snapped her to awareness.

“Get up.”

She blinked but hastened to do his bidding.

“On your knees.”

She sank to her knees and dropped her gaze to the floor.

“Look at me.”

She lifted her chin enough that she could look into his eyes. He stared back at her. Hard. Determined.

“Who owns you now, Ren?”

“You do,” she said quietly.

“Then let’s establish a few things.”

She was so grateful that tears swam in her eyes. Had he known just how much she’d needed this? She needed this direction. This focus. Needed the discipline. She needed him to be firm, because if he was gentle right now, she’d fall apart.

She wanted the security and the safety of his dominance. She desperately needed to reestablish the boundaries and know her place.

He stood, peeling the condom from his softening erection. He strode across the room, leaving her kneeling in front of the couch. After disposing of the condom, he tucked himself back into his pants and then stood there, his gaze trailing over Ren. It was as if he stroked her with his hand.

“Go to the middle of the room and kneel.”

She rose and walked on unsteady legs to the center and then lowered herself back down onto the plush area rug. It occurred to her that he hadn’t wanted her to kneel on the hardwood floor as she had been. Some of her panic and anxiety eased.

“For the next two weeks, you belong solely to me, Ren,” Cole said in a quiet, firm voice that sent shivers down her spine.

There was steel in that voice. A dark promise that excited and reassured her at the same time.

“You will do as I command with no hesitation. Your body is mine. You are mine. Understood?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

“You’ll answer a few questions for me and then we’ll discuss your accommodations here as well as my expectations.”

She nodded her acceptance.

“Do you and Lucas use a safe word?”

“We did in the beginning.”

“And not now?”

She shook her head. “I trust him. He knows me better than I know myself. I could still use it. I mean, it’s not that he’d ignore it. It’s just that I’ve never had to.”

“You should choose one with me.”

Her heart twisted. Her mind rebelled. Logically she understood and even embraced the need for one. Every time she’d started a new relationship, boundaries had always been set. A safe word had been established. Cole and Lucas had been the only two men she’d ever fully trusted, though, and something inside her balked at the idea that even now Cole would somehow hurt her.

She looked deeper, studying the firm set of his mouth and the intense blue of his eyes.

“It was an accident, Cole,” she offered quietly. “I know you’d never hurt me.”

He flinched. Then he recovered and his jaw tightened as if she’d angered him.

“You’re a fool if you trust me so blindly. I’m not the same man, Ren. I’m a hell of a lot harder.”

“Good.”

His brow furrowed. He was taken aback by her response.

She lifted her chin. “I don’t want easy. I’ve never wanted easy.”

For a moment he didn’t say anything. Then he closed the distance between them until he stood a mere foot away, staring down at her from his imposing height.

“Your safe word, Ren. Choose it now.”

“Lucas.”

The word fell between them, and how appropriate the safe word was. It was a name she’d never invoke with Cole unless she was at her very limit. It was also the name of the man with whom she felt the safest with.

She saw his realization that if she did ever use her safe word that it would be the same as walking away—or rather running back to Lucas.

Cole’s eyes gleamed in understanding and she swore she saw approval flash.

“Clever,” he said, confirming her suspicions. “Very well. Lucas will be your safe word.”

He touched her face, ran his thumb over her cheekbone and then let his hand fall away.

“You’re more beautiful than ever. As beautiful as you were as a young girl, you’ve grown even more stunning as a woman.”

Warmth surged through her veins at his sincerity and frank appraisal.

“You will spend every minute of the next two weeks with me. The only exception will be the times you work. In the morning, I’ll show you to the space I’ve appropriated for your use. Lucas has said he’ll arrange for the delivery of your things.”

Instead of being happy at Lucas’s forethought, she was only more convinced that he intended this to be their good-bye. Sadness crept into her chest until each breath ached.

“You won’t use work to avoid me, however,” Cole added softly. “You sleep with me. You eat with me. You go where I go. Understood?”

She nodded her compliance.

“Most important, Ren. You’ll be honest with me in all things.”

“I have no reason to lie.”

“You may rise. It’s late and you look tired and upset.”

It appalled her that he could so clearly see through her after only a few moments of being with her. They hadn’t been together in years. Back then, absolutely. Cole had always been adept at reading her moods, at knowing the moment something was wrong or if she simply wasn’t feeling like herself.

Much like Lucas could now.

It had all started with Cole.

She rose to her feet but didn’t move toward him. She stood, naked and vulnerable, her emotions and sense of loyalty divided and scattered like pieces to a puzzle.

And then he managed to catch her off guard again.

“Kiss me, Ren.”

There was an odd catch in his voice. A thread of tenderness that underscored the command. It was the slight ache in his tone that cut to the very heart of her.

She moved to him, pressed close to his body and then she rose up on tiptoe to wind her arms around his neck. She could absolutely kiss him without touching him or holding him, but such a kiss would be impersonal. Cold. Without heart.

No matter that it had been so many years. Or that he’d hurt her unbearably by walking out of her life. She couldn’t pretend he hadn’t meant the world to her or that she still didn’t battle her feelings for him.

Seeing him again had unsettled her. It had called to the front so much that she’d thought was buried for good. Lucas had known it. He’d seen it and acknowledged it even when Ren wouldn’t.

He’d known what Cole had meant to her and what he might mean now and so he’d given her to a man she’d once loved—maybe still loved.

She pressed her lips to the firm line of Cole’s mouth and sighed as the familiarity of the gesture brought old memories roaring back.

At first she worried that she’d done something wrong because he stood so still. She couldn’t even feel him breathe. As she started to pull away to get his reaction, his arms came around her, and he hauled her against him.

One hand slid down over the curve of her behind to cup her cheek. The other hand tangled in her hair and cupped the back of her head, holding her in place as he plunged his tongue into her mouth.

“Ren.”

Her name slipped from his lips, swallowed up by her, but she heard it, she felt it, all the way to her soul. It was the most tender of endearments. That one simple word, torn from his throat, told her more than a hundred others that he’d missed her. That he had ached for her, that he still ached for her.

“Hold me.”

This time the request came from her. It wasn’t an order. It was a soft plea, one she had no right to ask. He hadn’t fully outlined his expectations of her, but it spilled out of her. Until she said it, she’d had no idea just how much she wanted it and needed it.

He issued no reprimand. No reminder of his authority or his control over her. Instead he simply swung her into his arms, holding her as if she were precious and fragile.

As he stared down into her eyes, he turned and walked from the living room. He mounted the stairs and she buried her face against his neck, inhaling his scent, allowing his warmth and strength to envelope her.

They entered a sprawling room that had to be the master suite. He flipped a switch with his elbow as he came through the door and the lamp in the corner flashed on, casting a dim glow over the room. Perfect. Not too bright but enough that they weren’t shrouded in darkness.

When he got to the huge bed in the center of the room, he gently set her down on the plush mattress.

“Get comfortable,” he said in a low voice. “As soon as I undress, I’ll come to bed. And hold you as you’ve asked.”

CHAPTER 16

Ren watched Cole disappear into the bathroom and then she slid down onto the bed, burrowing her head into one of the pillows.

She stared sightlessly across the room as she tried to process all that had happened tonight. Now that the initial hurt and confusion had passed, she was angry.

How could Lucas have done this to her? With no warning? Oh sure, he’d told her that she would be having sex with Cole minutes before they’d arrived at Cole’s house, but he’d said nothing about leaving her with Cole.

She felt betrayed and that betrayal hurt more than she could have imagined. It briefly crossed her mind that she owed Lucas nothing, that his defection gave her no reason to obey his dictate that she remain with Cole for two weeks at which time Lucas may or may not return.

But at the same time, she couldn’t make herself believe that Lucas had done this to hurt her. Whether he’d meant to or not, the result had been the same. But she couldn’t help but think that he had only her best interests at heart.

She sighed and closed her eyes. After a year of feeling so …strong. Rebuilt. Secure and comfortable in her skin again. Now she felt adrift and she hated not knowing her path. She was a person who took great comfort in routine and ritual.

Her sense of self and her confidence had taken a beating in her last relationship. She’d left before irreparable damage was done, but it had still taken time for her to shake off the effects.

She didn’t want to go back there. Ever. She was stronger than who that woman had been. But now, Lucas would test the strength she’d worked so hard to build.

The bed dipped and her eyes flew open. She’d been lost in her thoughts and hadn’t even realized Cole had returned. Such inattention would only gain his censure.

But he didn’t call her on it. Her merely slid his arms around her body and pulled her until her back was flush against his chest.

“You can talk to me, Ren.”

She went still for a moment as his words washed over her. It was as if the last years melted away and they were young again. Inseparable. Set to conquer the world, hand in hand. Ren and Cole.

Oh God, she couldn’t handle this without breaking down.

She turned in his arms and clutched at him as she buried her face in his chest. Hot tears spilled down her cheeks and onto his bare skin.

He locked her to him, holding her tightly, one leg thrown possessively over her as if shielding her from the world. It was a clear statement. Nothing can hurt you here. It was such a familiar gesture that it sent a fresh wave of pain through her heart.

“How could he do it?” she whispered.

Cole kissed her forehead as he trailed fingers through her hair.

“How could he just walk away? Especially when he knows how badly it hurt when you did the same?”

Cole tensed. His hand went still against her head and his chin that had rested against her forehead moved as he pulled away.

Then he sighed. “Ren, you can’t expect me to defend the bastard. I’ve made it no secret that I want you.”

She rose up on one elbow and stared into Cole’s eyes. She wiped irritably at her tears, impatient and angry that she’d allowed him to see how devastated she was.

“Tell me this, Cole. Would you have ever given me to another man? Would you have ever brought me to another man’s house and said here, she’s yours, I’ll be back in two weeks?”

“Come here,” he said quietly, pulling her back to him.

He let his hand wander over her hip and down her leg before caressing his way back up to her shoulder.

“I can’t profess to know what Lucas was thinking. I don’t know the man. You know him a hell of a lot better. I can’t muster the same outrage as you because I’ve gotten precisely what I want. You.”

“Would you have ever done what he did?” she persisted.

“Hell no. But maybe I’m more of a selfish bastard than he is. Maybe he feels like he’s doing what’s best for you. I, on the other hand, would go to hell and back before I ever willingly gave you to another man. I let you go once, Ren. If you think I’m just going to stand back and let you walk away this time, you’re mistaken. I’ll fight with everything I have.”

The determined words slipped into the tiny cracks in her heart like alcohol over a cut.

“He didn’t fight for me,” she whispered. “He just let me go. Like you did before.”

“I’m not letting you go now, Ren. I’m here. Have you ever considered that Lucas is merely giving you space so that you can make a choice? It chaps my ass to give him any credit whatsoever, but I believe he just wants you to be happy. He damn sure didn’t give you to me because he has any love for me.”

Ren pulled her head back again and then reached up to touch Cole’s face. She traced his bone structure and feathered her fingertip over his mouth.

“Yes, he gave me to you for two weeks. He knows I loved you. And he wants me to make a choice? Has it ever occurred to either of you that no matter who I chose, I would be devastated?”

Cole frowned.

“I feel manipulated, Cole. I feel like I’m being told that this should be easy. I’ve been with Lucas for a year. I trust him every bit as much as I trusted you when we were together. I loved you with all my heart. I was crushed when you left me. What Lucas and I have is undefinable. What you and I had was equally undefinable. I’m supposed to spend two weeks with you and then cheerfully choose between two men who’ve meant more to me than any other man I’ve ever had a relationship with?”

“I can’t keep you here against your will,” Cole said quietly. “I won’t stop you if you walk out the door.”

It wasn’t what she’d expected him to say. Her shoulders sagged like deflated balloons. She rolled onto her back to stare at the ceiling. He’d put the ball in her court. It was true. She may cede all the power in the relationship to a man, but it was her choice.

“Make your decision, Ren. I’ll give you tonight to deal with your upset. I’ll expect your decision in the morning. If you choose to go, I’ll make sure you get to where you want to go.”

She reached up to touch her neck where the collar had rested for the last year. Her fingers trembled against her bare skin. “And if I stay?”

“If you stay, you’ll submit to me. Without reservation. Without question. You’ll be mine for the entire two weeks.”

“And what then?”

He rolled onto his side so that he faced her. She glanced over to see the intensity reflected in those blue pools.

“Then you have a decision to make.”

CHAPTER 17

Cole made no move toward her even though they slept in the same bed. He made no demands of her. In fact, he didn’t so much as touch her.

After he’d told her she had a decision to make, he’d simply rolled over, turned off the lamp and then settled down to sleep. She, on the other hand, remained awake, staring into the darkness as she contemplated her circumstances.

She was completely befuddled by the turn of events. When Lucas had first told her that he was giving her to Cole, her emotions had been in a whirlwind.

Nothing had been right ever since that night at The House when Cole had walked back into her life.

It was hard to see past her hurt and betrayal, but after an entire night staring at the ceiling, she was beginning to realize what Lucas must have seen in her. And why he’d made the decision he made.

Lucas wasn’t the type to demand attention. Or loyalty. If you were with him, yes, absolutely he expected your entire focus, your loyalty and obedience. But he wasn’t going to make you do anything you weren’t committed to.

He must have known what Cole’s reappearance had done to her. Her distraction wouldn’t have pleased him. What surprised her more was the way he’d handled it. With such gentleness and understanding.

Wasn’t he angry? Was he afraid of losing her? Or was he resigned? Or did he even care about the outcome?

Or had he, like Ren feared, simply decided it was time for him to move on?

And if that was the case, why was she expending so much mental anguish over his defection?

Because you love him.

The admission frightened her. She hadn’t allowed herself to love anyone since Cole. And it wasn’t so much that Cole had ruined her for men for all time, blah blah. She’d been with several men since Cole. Men who had satisfied her. Men who hadn’t even come close. The usual mixture of winners and losers in a woman’s life.

It was just that no one had known her like Cole had. No one had managed to reach inside the very heart of her like Cole had. Not until Lucas. And she wasn’t even sure he’d tried. He just did. He got her.

And if she loved Lucas, which she was now pretty certain she did, why had seeing Cole again put her into such a tailspin?

Because you love him too.

Or at least she loved the man Cole had been. She loved the memory of who he’d been and what he’d meant to her. Who was to say he was still that same man?

Who was to say he wasn’t even better?

Tears of frustration bit at her eyelids. She’d expended more emotion in the last days than she had in years. She’d always been careful to keep herself firmly in check. Calm. Measured. She didn’t like feeling distraught and out of control.

She understood—or at least thought she understood—Lucas’s decision now. He wanted her to face her past. He wanted her to deal with the issue of Cole before she could move forward. With Lucas.

It was either that or he’d seized the opportunity to make sure Ren was cared for before moving on as he had in so many other relationships.

She wasn’t sure what about Lucas made it impossible for him to commit to a longstanding relationship. He’d been up front with her from the beginning that their arrangement wasn’t permanent, that it couldn’t be.

But as time went on and he seemed content, she put it out of her mind that it was a temporary arrangement.

She’d let her guard down. She’d allowed herself to fall for a man she couldn’t have.

Stupid.

She turned slightly to stare at the back of Cole’s head as pale light softened the room through the curtains. Cole wanted her. She couldn’t lie to herself that she didn’t still have strong feelings for him. She did.

He’d laid it out plainly for her. He wanted her. He would fight for her. He’d never give her to another man as Lucas had.

He’d also offer her the kind of relationship she wanted and needed. Wouldn’t he?

She had two weeks to find out. Two weeks in which to explore a relationship with Cole and to determine whether or not Lucas would come back for her.

And yeah, then she’d have a decision to make. A decision that already sent pain through her heart.

She felt him leave the bed. He was quiet so as not to awaken her, but then she still hadn’t slept. Her back was to him and she briefly closed her eyes, not yet wanting him to know she was awake. When she heard him go into the bathroom she opened her eyes and took in a deep breath.

For the next two weeks she would be his. There would be no half measures. Not sorta kinda or in between. That kind of relationship or agreement would never fulfill her. She needed—she craved—full possession. The safety and security of a completely dominant lover.

She needed the structure and rigidity but she also needed a man who knew when not to push too hard. Lucas had been that man. But so had Cole.

She pushed herself up and slipped out of bed, her feet flexing when they hit the wood floor. There wasn’t a rug or any carpet to soften her kneeling position, but it didn’t matter. Her discomfort wasn’t important. The message she would send to Cole was.

Complete obedience. Complete submission.

For two weeks, she was his to command.

After? She couldn’t bear to think that far ahead. There was too much she didn’t know, and she was afraid to speculate on the potential outcome.

She walked naked around to the foot of the bed and then faced the door to the bathroom. She sank gracefully to her knees, rested her hands palms up on the tops of her legs and settled her gaze forward, waiting for Cole to return.

He couldn’t possibly misunderstand the significance of the gesture.

Several long minutes later, she nearly closed her eyes when she heard the door open. Butterflies danced in her belly, but she forced her chin up so she could meet his gaze the moment he saw her.

He frowned.

Not exactly what she’d expected.

“Jesus, Ren. Your knees. How long have you been kneeling like this?”

He strode forward, reached down and gently pulled her to her feet. She wobbled a little unsteadily, taken aback by his reaction.

He guided her back to the bed and eased her down on the edge. He had a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair was still damp from his shower. A single bead of water trailed down his side and she had the insane urge to run her tongue over it.

To her further shock, he went to one knee in front of her so they were on eye level. Every part of her rejected the sight of him kneeling in front of her. She stared at him with no idea of what to say or how to react.

He touched her cheek and sighed. “I appreciate the sentiment. I understand it. I’m relieved as hell. Don’t get me wrong, the sight of you on your knees blows me away. But I don’t want you in pain, Ren. I have hardwood floors in the bedroom. It can’t be comfortable for you.”

“I wanted you to know,” she began quietly.

He nodded. “I know you did. It’s me, remember? I think I went a little weak in the knees when I opened the door and there you were. It took me back to a much better time. When we were young and together, testing something new and powerful. I was so damn grateful that you didn’t get up and walk out while I was in the shower. Do you know how hard it was for me not to run out to see if you were still there? To calmly go through the motions of a shower and shaving all the while my gut was in a knot because I was afraid you wouldn’t stay?”

“I’ll stay. I’m yours.”

He cupped her cheek then leaned forward, brushing his lips across hers. First just a tender brush. Then he came back, fusing his mouth to hers. Her lips parted on a sigh and he slid his tongue over hers until she tasted the mint of his toothpaste.

As he pulled away, he murmured, “Oh yes, Ren. You’re mine. You’ll never doubt that for a moment.”

Then he rose and discarded the towel around his waist. He was such a beautiful man. He’d lost the lean softness of youth and in its stead was a muscled, rougher man that made her mouth water.

His cock was rigid, flared up toward his navel from a nest of lighter brown hair, almost blond like the rest of him.

“Go get a condom from the nightstand and put it on me,” he said in a terse, barely restrained voice.

She scooted off the bed and hurried to do his bidding. She wanted him inside her again. Last night had felt …practiced. Almost as if they had been putting on a show for Lucas’s benefit, and maybe Cole had.

Today, there was no one but Cole and Ren. No Lucas. No pretenses or awkwardness.

She tore open a condom and returned to sit in front of Cole. His erection was on level with her mouth, but he didn’t appear to have any intention of having her pleasure him with her lips and tongue.

With shaking fingers, she rolled the latex over his rigid length. Automatically her gaze found his as she awaited his next directive.

“Lay back, spread your thighs and bend your knees so the bottoms of your feet are flat on the mattress. Then spread yourself and hold on to your knees.”

She leaned back, clutching at her knees as her soles dug into the mattress. The position opened herself completely to him. She was vulnerable but so very excited.

He ran the tip of his finger from her clitoris to her opening and then slid it inside to the knuckle. She shuddered violently, her hips arching off the mattress in response.

“Keep yourself open,” he bit out when her hold on her knees loosened.

She reasserted her hold and then sucked in her breath when he lowered his head between her splayed thighs. Oh God.

He pressed the most tender of kisses to her opening and then lazily slid his tongue upward until it rolled over her clitoris.

Her fingers dug into her knees and it was a battle to maintain her position when her entire body was screaming in pleasure.

He licked her again, making long, sensual swipes with his tongue. The roughness over such tender and sensitive skin drove her to madness. She twitched from head to toe and was one breath way from coming completely unglued.

But he was in no hurry and he seemed content to stroke her with his tongue and suck lazily at her quivering flesh. He rimmed her entrance and then slid his tongue in, tasting her from the inside out.

Pressure. All she needed was just a little pressure in just the right place and she’d explode in the mother of all orgasms. But he seemed to know exactly how close she was to meltdown because he continued with gentle, featherlike strokes and caresses. He flicked his tongue expertly over and around her clit, never putting quite enough force behind the movements to send her the rest of the way over the edge.

But how he drove her mad. He was good. So very good at making her feel exquisite, mind-numbing pleasure. He was patient too. Never tiring as he coaxed her ever closer to the ultimate sexual peak.

But then he’d always been this way. Possessive and demanding, absolutely, but generous and loving as well. Even when it was all about him, somehow he always managed to put her first. She’d always adored him for that.

“You taste just as good as I remember,” he said huskily as he pulled away.

She stared at him through passion-glazed eyes, unable to move. Her entire body was liquid. He’d reduced her to a boneless, quivering mass of desire.

He took a step back and then positioned himself at her opening. He stared down at her, those blue eyes so unbelievably beautiful. “Look at me. Only at me.”

She locked her gaze with his just as he pushed inside her. Her breath caught and then came out in a gasp at his sudden possession.

“Mine, Ren.”

He pushed deeper until his hips were flush against the backs of her thighs and he held himself there.

“Who do you belong to?”

“You,” she replied softly.

“Who takes care of you?”

“You.”

“Say my name.”

“Cole,” she said obediently.

“Who owns you, commands you, takes care of you, sees to your every need?”

“You do, Cole. I’m yours.”

He thrust hard for several moments, his face straining as he slammed into her. It was a pure act of ownership. He was branding her. Putting his stamp on her. It was a display of sheer dominance.

Then as suddenly as he had taken her, he slowed and his thrusts became gentler. He leaned forward and slid his hands up her waist, causing her arms to fall to the bed. Her knees fell forward and her legs relaxed and he pulled her close to him until their bodies were tightly meshed and he was deep inside her, his hips undulating in a sensuous rhythm.

“And who’s going to cherish you and protect you and lavish you with all the affection you deserve?” he said against her mouth.

Her heart twinged and emotion knotted her throat. She kissed him back, feverishly, not answering the question for several long seconds. Then she finally pulled away and stared straight into those mesmerizing blue eyes.

“You are,” she whispered.

“Damn right I am,” he growled as he surged forward again.

He was big and powerful. He pinned her to the mattress, his weight easily making her captive to his demands. But he made her feel …safe. Desired. Wanted. And yes, cherished.

She should have felt apprehensive and unsure, as she had each time she’d slept with a man for the first time after embarking on a new relationship. But with Cole, it was like coming home. It was reconnecting with something she’d long been denied.

She knew that he’d never hurt her no matter what he thought or what blame and guilt he carried.

Trust wasn’t something she gave easily. It was hard won and she rationed it carefully. No, she knew he’d never hurt her physically. But emotionally?

He’d once broken her heart and she didn’t know that she could withstand another blow like she’d endured the day he walked out of her life.

Only now, it could well be her doing the walking away and it didn’t make her feel the slightest bit better or empowered.

It scared her to death.

He kissed her with savagery that seemed pint up to now and was suddenly released in a violent storm. As if he’d kept his control so tightly leashed for all this time.

His hunger was palpable. He consumed her. Desire consumed them both.

Lucas may have marked her the evening before but Cole was possessing her body and soul as if he could drive away everyone else in the world but him.

“Come for me, Ren. Show me your passion. Show me the girl I once knew. Show me she’s still there, the Ren I loved with everything I had.”

Tears were tiny daggers to her eyes. Each word pricked her soul. Even now, so many years later, he could cut to her very core with his words.

Her orgasm fluttered over her, light and delicate, a direct contradiction to the force in which he was restaking his claim. His body drove ruthlessly into hers, but his eyes …His eyes spoke a different message. They were gentle and loving. Intense. Burning straight through the barriers she’d constructed over the years.

It spread lazily through her veins, flooding her with sweet, endless pleasure. Sweet. Soft. Stroking over her body like a honey-dipped feather.

She sighed and tightened around him. Her palms stroked over his firm muscles and taut flesh and then she hugged him to her, buried her nose against his neck and inhaled his scent.

He was the very best part of her past. Of a girl bridging the gap between child and woman.

And now, if he had his way, he’d be very much a part of her future. A future she’d always envisioned having with him.

“That’s my girl,” he murmured as he stroked her down from her orgasm. “Now it’s my turn.”

He raised himself off her enough so that she was forced to meet his gaze. Then he began thrusting rhythmically. Harder. Until the slap of his hips meeting her flesh echoed over the room.

“Look at me,” he said harshly when she would have closed her eyes and dreamily drifted away.

Her eyes flew open again and she stared at the firm line of his jaw. The fire and determination in his eyes.

He screamed possession without saying a word. His body owned her. Over and over he took until she moaned softly, unsure of whether she wanted mercy or wanted none.

“Every part of you …mine. Your body is mine. Your ass is mine. Your breasts are mine. Your pussy is mine and I’ll possess it whenever I like for however long I like. Your mouth is mine to take. Say it, Ren. Say it while I come inside you. Tell me you’re mine and make me believe it.”

She reached up for him, looped her arms around his neck and pulled him down. “I’m yours, Cole. All of me. Every part. I’m yours to do with as you wish.”

And for now it was the absolute truth.

CHAPTER 18

Ren lay curled in Cole’s lap on the overstuffed couch in his sunroom. It was a beautiful room, full of windows bursting with light from the side and above. The room was almost completely glassed in and the view of his garden was magnificent.

It reminded her of a children’s book. A fantasy garden that hid secret pathways. Enchanted and magical.

It was clear that this house was Cole’s refuge. Built to exacting standards. Ultimate comfort and privacy in mind. Here nothing could encroach and that gave her an added measure of security and comfort.

He took another strawberry and held it to her mouth. She took a bite, the sweet fruit delectable on her tongue. Cole had arranged for an entire buffet in the sunroom and had fed her by hand whatever she wanted.

She felt pampered and ridiculously spoiled and now she was content to lie in his arms.

He’d kicked up his feet and stretched lengthwise on the couch so his back was to the arm. She was draped over him and every once in a while he reached for something to feed her. His other hand stayed in her hair and he absently stroked through it and down her arm almost as if it was impossible for him to stop touching her.

“I think this would be perfect for your office,” he said. “Do you think you can work here or do you prefer something not so open?”

It shouldn’t have surprised her that he would have arranged for her to have space to work. Lucas would have seen to it.

“It’s perfect.” And it was. Where better to create her own children’s tales than in a setting that looked straight out of one?

“I’ll have all your things brought here and arranged to your liking.”

She frowned. “I don’t have my stuff yet.”

“He had everything sent over this morning,” Cole said quietly.

“Oh.”

Silence descended and she tried so very hard not to read anything into the fact that Lucas had made no effort to see her. She wouldn’t allow it to hurt her because she had no idea the motive or lack of one and she refused to speculate.

“Do you remember when we used to do this on the weekends?”

Cole’s question brought her sharply out of her thoughts and sent her mind seeking in a completely different direction. Maybe it had been intentional. But it was effective because her mind wandered back to days spent just like this. She sprawled across Cole’s body, both of them content to just be.

Her smile was wistful and a little bittersweet. “Yes, I remember. We had such good times.”

He kissed her forehead. “Yes, we did.”

She angled her head so she could stare up at him. “How can we just fall back into this, Cole? We don’t even know each other anymore. It’s been ten years since we were together. This has all happened so fast that I’m having a hard time putting it all together. Is it a game? Are we having a fling for old time’s sake? I feel like I need to know what the expectations are. I mean, Lucas gave me to you. I get that. The three of us are adhering to rules that most other people don’t have any knowledge of and yet they’re important to all of us. Or at least they are to me. I need to know where I stand with you. Take away the rules, the agreement, the fact for the next two weeks I am for all practical purposes your property and just tell me what this is.”

“You don’t ask much,” he said dryly.

He stroked his fingers through her hair, kissed her tenderly on the forehead again and then expelled his breath in a long sigh.

“I made a mistake, Ren. I’ve always known it. Walking away from you was the worst decision I’ve ever made. I hurt you and I hurt myself. We were so young and I was so worried that I was taking you over. I should have trusted in your strength. I should have had more faith in myself but I loved you so much, it killed me to think of hurting you, of what I did to you or could do to you in the future.”

She leaned away to rest against the back of the sofa so that she could see his face.

“But the need in me wouldn’t go away. It shamed me because I thought that anything that had brought someone I loved pain was an …abomination. It wasn’t until later that I realized that it wasn’t the practice of dominance and submission that was wrong. It was my handling of it and my ignorance. It was me who placed you in a position of danger. You were mine to protect and cherish and I failed you on every level.”

“No,” she whispered, shaking her head.

He touched her face, stroked his fingers down her cheek as his gaze devoured her. Almost as if he couldn’t quite believe that she was here and would disappear at any moment.

“After you, I refused to participate in any practice that I didn’t extensively study and devote long hours to mastering. We wondered when we began if it was curiosity or a deep-seeded need within us. For me it was a need and now I realize it was the same for you. How perfect we were for each other,” he said ruefully. “Even more so than we ever imagined. But the truth of the matter was, I needed time to mature and grow and time to gain the knowledge necessary to provide a safe environment for you.”

“Did you have other relationships? Like ours?” she asked, though she dreaded the answer. It was stupid and hypocritical. She’d certainly had relationships. She hadn’t been celibate but somehow it hurt her to think of Cole cherishing another woman as deeply as he’d cherished her.

“Not like ours,” he denied. “Nothing like ours. My …Well, you can’t even call them relationships. They were encounters. And they were all very clinical. There were women who intrigued me. Whom I was attracted to, but the ones I was perhaps the most attracted to belonged to other men. Maybe subconsciously I felt safe in letting myself feel something for them because I knew I never had a chance with them.”

Her brow furrowed in confusion. “Why wouldn’t you have wanted a chance?”

His gaze settled on her. Deep and serious. “Because they weren’t you.”

Her breath caught and she felt light-headed.

“Ren, I loved you. I know you didn’t think so. Especially when I walked out on you. But for me there’s never been another woman who made me feel like you did. There were a few who came close and maybe if they hadn’t belonged to other men I would have enjoyed being with them.”

He caught her hand and pulled it to his mouth to kiss her palm. “I’ve been very successful in life. I’ve achieved all the goals I’ve set out to achieve. It’s brought me a measure of happiness. But there’s always been something missing and when I looked up in that restaurant and saw you for the first time in all these years, it all fell into place for me. It was like being hit by lightning. I can’t even begin to explain how it felt.”

She stared back at him in complete befuddlement. Her stomach knotted and she could barely squeeze air into her lungs.

“I looked at you and knew what was missing in my life. What I wanted in my life. I’ve never stopped loving you, Ren. I can’t make it any simpler than that.”

She swallowed but the knot didn’t go away. She had no idea what to say. How to feel. How could she make herself so very vulnerable when she was setting herself up for hurt no matter how this played out in the end?

Cole framed her face and leaned forward to kiss her lightly on the lips. “I’ve been brutally honest with you for one reason and one reason only. Because I want you to know from the start where I stand so that no matter what happens this week, no matter how hard I push you, no matter how far I take you out of your comfort zone, you know one thing if you know nothing else. You’ll know I love you and that I’d never do anything to hurt you again.”

He released her face but his gaze held her captive. “You can belong to any number of men. You can be possessed. You can be a possession. You can submit. You can be dominated. But none of that necessarily means you are loved and cherished above all else. You’ll know that with me, Ren. You’ll never doubt it for even a moment if I can help it.”

Tears gathered in her eyes. “Oh Cole.” She leaned forward until her forehead touched his and he swam in her vision as she tried to hold back the flood of emotion. “I’ve missed you so much.”

He tangled his fingers in her hair and held her close as their breaths mingled. “I’ve missed you too, darling.”

“It’s all so fast,” she murmured.

He nodded. “It is. We’ll slow down. I never thought it would be easy. You can’t imagine what it felt like to see you and know you belonged to another man. Really belong. I knew what that collar signaled and I knew that I’d have to fight for you. But there was no way in hell I was going to walk away again.”

She snuggled into his arms and laid her head on his shoulder. He was so strong and comforting. Warm. She needed that strength.

“I won’t be easy,” he warned.

She shivered at the dark promise in his voice.

“This time we have together will give you the opportunity to see who I really am.”

She glanced up into his eyes. “And you’ll see that I’m not weak. That I need your strength and the rigidity of a dominant relationship. It’s not just what I want, Cole. It’s what I need. It’s what I have to have.”

He nodded. “I understand. I’ll give that to you, Ren. I’ll give you everything.”

Contentment slid over her, loosening some of the tension in her muscles. She went limp against him as he continued to stroke her body, his touch tender and soothing.

“Now tell me about this career of yours,” he said against her hair. “Rennie Michaels? Children’s author extraordinaire?”

She laughed lightly. “It started as an escape. A way to deal with my unhappiness. My unfulfillment I suppose you could say. I would drift away, telling stories in my head and one day I decided to write them down. And then I began to draw the scenes, adding words to the pictures that danced around my mind. The second day I was with Lucas, after he moved me in with him, he came across my drawings and one of the books I’d put together myself. He insisted I submit it and so I did. To be honest I think he helped. He had connections. Before I knew it I had an agent and then an offer. They fast tracked that first book because it was already completed and little to no revisions were necessary. It released a few months ago and I’m working on the third in the series right now. The second will be released in four more months.”

“I’m proud of you.”

Her cheeks bloomed with heat and she smiled. “I love it. Sometimes I get too wrapped up in it, but I enjoy it. I have a purpose now. Job wise, I mean. Before I worked in marketing. I got my degree after you and I split up. But it’s so stressful and against my true personality. It was exhausting to make myself be this person I wasn’t and I finally quit trying. I owe a lot of that to Lucas. He was content to just let me …be.”

She glanced anxiously at Cole, already regretting that she’d brought up Lucas twice. It wasn’t that she was intentionally throwing Lucas in Cole’s face nor was she trying to make Cole jealous or make him feel threatened. The simple truth was Lucas had everything to do with the woman she was now. The woman she’d become over the last year.

She would have gotten there on her own eventually but Lucas had been a rock-solid source of support. She’d always owe him that.

“It sounds like Lucas recognized what a very special woman you were from the moment he saw you,” Cole said in a low voice.

Ren nodded, relieved that he didn’t take offense.

“What about your last relationship? Lucas said the man you were with hurt you.”

Ren could feel how stiff Cole went the moment he brought up the subject. There was a darkness to his eyes that told her how very dangerous he could be when provoked.

She swallowed and sighed. “A lot of it was my own fault.”

Cole scowled.

“No, really it was. I mean, it wasn’t my fault he was a dickhead, but it was my fault that I stayed as long as I did and that I settled for something I knew would never make me happy or fulfill me. That’s on me.”

“What did he do?” Cole gritted out.

“He wanted to change me. He had very set ideas—stereotypical ideas—of how a dominant submissive relationship should work. To be honest he’d watched too many porn flicks or read too many bad novels on the subject. Quite frankly he was a joke. He wanted to be king of the castle and for me to kiss his feet. His idea of dominance was abuse and disrespect. He felt powerful when he was humiliating me.”

Cole’s nostrils flared and rage built like a storm in his eyes. His grip tightened on her and just as quickly he began to rub his hand up and down her arm in a comforting motion that she was unsure that he was even cognizant of.

“That son of a bitch,” Cole hissed. “The little bastard. So he got his rocks off acting like an abusive asshole.”

Ren shrugged. “Basically, yeah. My fault. I mean, that I took it so long. I was at a crossroads and my problem wasn’t so much that I thought I wanted him. I knew I didn’t. My problem was that I didn’t know what I wanted and so I was afraid.”

He gathered her tightly in his arms and pressed his lips to her temple. “I’m so sorry you had to endure that. I’m glad you found Lucas. It sounds like he was a much better man.”

“He was—is,” she returned quietly. “In a lot of ways he saved me. From myself. He refused to let me settle.”

“It hurts me that someone hurt you. I’d like to kill the little son of a bitch. When a woman submits to a man, it’s the most precious gift she can give. Herself. Unreservedly. The man has to respect and honor that gift above all else. Even if he respects nothing else in the world, he must respect the woman in his care. It’s his sworn duty to protect, honor and cherish his submissive. To take care of her and provide a safe haven. Someone who would put his own needs above his woman’s is no man.”

She pushed herself up and rearranged herself so that she sat astride him on the couch, her knees resting on either side of him. She stared down into his eyes, touched beyond words at his vehement declaration.

“Do you know, when you say those things, I don’t believe they are just words,” she said. “You mean them.”

“Damn right I do,” he said with a frown.

For the first time, she looked to the next two weeks without a twinge of sadness and uncertainty. Anticipation licked through her veins, and more powerful than the anticipation, was yearning.

She didn’t just need what Cole would give her. She wanted it and him. She’d never stopped loving or wanting him. At times she’d thought that she was still caught up in a youthful fantasy and that the memories would never translate to reality.

But here he was in front of her. Strong. Demanding. Unyielding. Dominant, so very dominant. Hard and yet unbelievably tender.

He was everything she wanted and needed and everything she’d missed for the last ten years. Cole wasn’t as good as or the same as that young man she’d known when she was just a girl.

He was way better.

CHAPTER 19

They napped and lounged in the sunroom. At some point, two men carried in the boxes containing Ren’s writing and art supplies, but Cole motioned for them to be quiet. Ren still slept soundly on his chest and he had no desire to wake her and let go of the moment.

There weren’t words to describe his contentment. His absolute satisfaction in holding her in his arms. It overwhelmed him and brought back so much of the past years when he’d searched in vain for what he’d been missing from the moment he walked out of her life.

He was fortunate and so very grateful that she hadn’t chosen to walk away from him. That she’d decided to stay and give him—them—a chance.

When the men had finished unpacking the boxes to Cole’s satisfaction, he waved them away and then gently shook Ren awake.

Her eyes came open and she looked disoriented for the briefest of moments before she smiled and snuggled a little deeper into his arms.

“I have plans for us this afternoon if you’re up for going out.”

She raised her head and pushed away the heavy silk of her hair. “Of course. I’ve been lazy the entire day.”

He smiled and touched her cheek. “If you have then so have I. I quite enjoyed our day together so far. But you have need of clothing and I thought we could enjoy dinner with friends. I’d like you to meet them in a more relaxed setting.”

Her eyebrows scrunched together. “Cole, I have more clothes than I know what to do with. Unless …Did Lucas not send anything over with my writing stuff?”

Cole took a measured breath. “He did. I sent them back.”

She cocked her head, obviously confused, but she didn’t question him. An action he approved of.

“You’re mine now, Ren,” he said in a soft voice. “It’s my responsibility to provide for you. To care for you. To ensure all your needs are met while you’re in my keeping. I won’t have another man do those things for you.”

She nodded her understanding.

“So I thought perhaps we could go shopping. I have a distinct desire to outfit you in clothing that complements your natural beauty. Then we’ll meet two couples that I’m friends with for dinner. You’ve met Damon and Serena already but you haven’t yet met Micah and his wife, Angelina.”

She pursed her lips and her eyes grew thoughtful for a moment. He could see the question hovering but she made no effort to voice it.

“Ask your question, Ren.”

“It’s really none of my business,” she said ruefully. “Just a thought that occurred and I’m not even certain why I want to know.”

“Ask it.”

“These women. Serena and Angelina. You spoke of being attracted to and of being …intimate …with women that belonged to other men. Are they …” She took a deep breath. “Are they the women you spoke of?”

Cole went soft at how small her voice sounded. She was trying so hard to pretend only a passing interest but he remembered what Lucas had told him of her previous relationship and the promise he’d exacted from Cole about having other women. As if he could even bring himself to look at another woman with Ren at his side.

“Look at me,” he said in a tender voice. “First, you’re it for me, Ren. All I want. The only woman I need. I have no desire—feel no desire—for another woman when I have perfection staring me in the face.”

“Oh,” she breathed, her eyes rounding and then sparkling with delight.

“Now to answer your question because I’ll never be anything but honest with you. I have touched Serena. Intimately. But not in the way you’d think. Damon is very, very possessive of her. He doesn’t share. He trusts me and I spend a lot of time at his club, and so he would often have me prepare Serena. For him. For his attentions. It was part of his process. He’s very methodical in all things. That’s as far as things ever went with Serena. And I never had any desire to take things further. They are dear friends. She and Damon both.”

Ren nodded her understanding, relief lightening her eyes.

He touched her and then shifted so he could sit up to hold her because he considered that the next might not be as easy to hear.

“Angelina …she was different and in order to tell you the difference, I need to go back and tell you of my role at The House. A role that I basically made for myself and one I was content with.”

She nodded again but the frown was back.

Unable to resist, he leaned forward and pulled her down into a long, heated kiss. She melted instantly, so sweet and unresisting. He could honestly spend all day doing nothing more than touching her. The next two weeks were going to be hard because all he wanted to do was lock himself in a room with her and make love to her until neither of them could take anymore.

But what he had to do was show her his life. How her life with him could be. He couldn’t afford a single misstep. Not when his entire future rode on convincing her that he could be the man she needed.

“Now, about Angelina. She belongs to Micah. Completely and utterly belongs to him. He’s so crazy in love with her. He’d do anything and everything to make her happy.”

Ren sighed. “That so wonderful.”

He could hear the wistful note in her voice and he wanted so badly to tell her that she could have that. She could have it and more because if she stayed with him, not a day would go by that he wouldn’t show her how very precious she was to him. Had always been.

“Micah is also …hard. Darker I guess you could say. Angelina fits him well because her desires and needs are every bit as dark as his. He’s fierce and demanding but he loves her so damn much.”

“He likes her to be with other men,” Ren guessed.

“Yes and no. You see, it’s kind of complicated, his and Angelina’s past, which is why he fought her for so long. He was once married to a woman he loved very much but he shared her with Angelina’s brother, his best friend. They both loved her. She was with them both.”

Ren frowned and cocked her head. “Then how?”

“I know. It all sounds like some kind of soap opera, right? Hannah, his wife, and David, his best friend, were killed in a car accident. Only it wasn’t really an accident. They were murdered by a man who was obsessed with Angelina, who at the time was far too young and David was extremely protective of her.”

“Oh my God. That’s horrible!”

Cole nodded. “So Micah leaves Miami, comes here. He’s grief-stricken. It took him a good while to get over what happened. And then comes Angelina who had been in love with him the entire time. So you can imagine all the conflicting emotions that Micah was feeling when confronted by this gorgeous, now grown-up, Latina bombshell.”

“He didn’t take it well, I’m guessing,” Ren murmured.

She leaned forward now, seemingly absorbed by the somewhat twisted story. Okay so it was a lot twisted looking back.

“He pushed her pretty hard,” Cole said. “He didn’t believe that she knew what it was he really needed and wanted. He didn’t believe that she knew what she was getting into.”

Ren snorted. “Typical know-it-all male. Always knows better than the female what she wants or needs.”

He eyed her balefully. “Anyway, if I can continue, I’ll get to my point.”

“Ah yes, what was the point of this conversation? I’ve quite forgotten.”

He smacked the side of her ass. “Disrespectful baggage. I’ll have to punish you for that later.”

The shiver that stole over her body delighted him. And stirred his blood like crazy. He couldn’t wait to have her spread out before him. Helpless. Dependent solely on him and his mercy. Provided he had any.

“Now, the thing is, back to my role at The House, because this kind of ties in. I did a lot of preparing. I touched. But mostly observed. I never had actual intercourse with the women there. I was tempted a few times but it wasn’t the right situation. I liked being at the club. I enjoyed the lifestyle. But mostly I was an outsider looking in. Until Angelina.”

Ren battled her frown. She tried not to allow him to see her reaction. She went still and he could feel the battle she waged with herself. It was obvious she still carried the scars from her previous relationship and it pissed him the fuck off that some bastard had actually cheated on her. Her! Who the hell in their right mind would even look at another woman when they had Ren at their feet. A willing submissive. Eager to do his bidding, to please him. She was so beautiful inside and out and he hated this son of a bitch for making her doubt that inner beauty.

That this asshole had paraded these women in front of Ren—hell he’d probably fucked them in front of her—all the while sending her the message that she wasn’t good enough, that nothing she could do would please him.

If he did nothing else in these two weeks, he’d show her that no other woman existed for him except her. She would know without a doubt that while she may submit to him and give him the most precious gift a woman can give to a man, in reality, she wielded absolute power over him.

“So you had sex with Angelina. Was she your first? I mean, from The House?” Ren asked.

“Well, yes and no. Micah invited me over. He trusted me. There were things he wanted that he didn’t feel comfortable doing himself.”

Ren’s eyebrows raised and he could see the interest gleam in her eyes.

“Hot wax,” Cole explained. “He didn’t want to hurt Angelina and I have experience with the practice. Micah did not. He may have tested her limits and maybe even tried to push her away and to prove that she couldn’t take what he would demand from her, but he would have died before hurting her.”

Ren donned a thoughtful, musing look. “I think I might like this Angelina. Except the part about her having sex with you.”

He chuckled. “There were other men present. Two others, to be exact.”

Her eyes widened again. “So she had sex with all of you?”

Cole studied her reaction closely. She seemed intrigued and he wasn’t sure how to take that. He wasn’t big on sharing. It was one thing he had in common with Damon. Before Angelina, he’d never even participated in a threesome. He was too damn possessive to share a woman he cared about with another man. But he could understand the appeal better now.

He finally nodded. “Yes, it was something that turned her on. We made sure she enjoyed herself. There was one other time, and perhaps I enjoyed this encounter more. It was more …intimate.”

Ren shifted her position so she could lean back against the couch with her feet over his belly and dangling off the couch. “This is a fascinating conversation. I’m so intrigued by all of it. So there was another time. With just you, Micah and Angelina?”

He nodded. “Yes. Micah invited me to The House. At the time he and Angelina were staying there. She had some asshole stalking her and Micah wanted to keep her safe. For the first time, I understood the appeal in sharing a woman with another man. The first encounter, with the other men, was more clinical for me. I was there to perform certain services. This time he wanted to watch. He wanted to watch me dominate his woman. His possession. I’d never considered how arousing it would be.”

“So the other night when Lucas …when he intervened. Did you like it then?”

He grimaced. “Yes and no. I hated that he inserted himself. But then I understood why. And well, if I’m honest, it was fucking hot. I loved seeing you between us. I can’t even begin to explain why. Maybe it’s best if I don’t analyze it. All I know is that it was a hell of a turn on.”

“It’s the first time he’s ever shared me with someone else,” she admitted softly.

“Did it upset you?”

She sighed and pulled her hair behind her head and held it there in a ponytail before letting it go again. He watched her closely because he sensed …It wasn’t disappointment exactly. But he’d seen the curiosity and even perhaps desire that had flashed when he’d spoken of Angelina having had sex with multiple men. If he had to guess, it was a desire that perhaps Ren had entertained but that Lucas had never provided for her.

“Lucas …Well, here’s the thing with Lucas. He’s hard. I’m sure you know this, and well, I wouldn’t be with him if he wasn’t providing me exactly what I need in a relationship. He’s unapologetic. Don’t get me wrong. I know without a doubt he’d never do anything at all that would harm me. But I belong to him. Not just in a sense of being his. Even for a dominant submissive relationship, he’s hardcore. I’m his. I’m his property. He does what he damn well wants with me when he wants unless it would cause me physical harm or emotional distress.”

Cole nodded. “I get that.”

“So, one of his kinks, like you said about Micah, is that he enjoys watching another man dominate, and I mean completely dominate, his woman. Sometimes he just likes to watch while another man completely owns his woman. Other times he likes to direct. And by that I mean he watches but he orchestrates every thing that happens. He tells the man what to do, how to do it, how hard to spank or flog, how hard to fuck. Whether to fuck her ass, her pussy or her mouth. I know he enjoys this and has practiced it with his other submissives.”

“But not with you,” Cole guessed.

She shook her head. “I’ve expected it. And maybe a part of me has even anticipated it. I think it’s the unknown and that it’s all kinds of forbidden and edgy.” Then she laughed. “Okay, that sounds ridiculous. Like having a threesome is edgier than the absolute lifestyle I live with Lucas …and now with you,” she added softly.

“I’ve wondered if it would be something I would enjoy, and then the other night when he took me to his club—”

She broke off and her cheeks colored slightly. Cole raised his eyebrows. “What happened at the club?”

“Well, he’s always so possessive of me. Like, look but don’t touch. That sort of thing. He’s very picky about who he allows near me. Especially at the club. But he sent me off to dance with these three guys, which was surprising enough. But then he comes out and dances with me, and, well, it was different. He’s not much of an exhibitionist, but he was fake fucking my mouth, he had me bent over like he was fucking me from behind. And then …”

“Oh you can’t stop now,” Cole said dryly. “Not when it’s getting good.”

“He allowed one of the men to touch me. With his mouth. He sucked at my breasts. And then he touched me. He slid his fingers inside me.”

“Did you like it?”

“Yeah,” she breathed. “It was hot. Exciting. I felt so naughty and wicked. And now I think maybe it was just a precursor or a warm-up because he knew he was going to give me to you.”

Cole frowned. He didn’t like the idea of Lucas letting random guys feel her up just to get her ready for him.

“So last night, when Lucas and I both were inside you. Was that the first time you experienced that?”

Her pupils dilated and she nodded. Her skin had flushed and she was warmer than she had been just a moment ago.

“You liked it.”

He knew she had, but he wanted to hear it from her.

“Yes, I did,” she whispered. “I can’t even explain it. It was so …powerful. Completely different than the night in the club. I didn’t know that other man. And while it had this edgy, forbidden feel to it, I still clung to Lucas because I felt safe with him. Last night, I was between two men I trust. I felt completely safe with both of you. I knew neither of you would ever hurt me. It was …freeing. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more powerful and yet I was completely and utterly powerless and vulnerable. I loved it.”

He pulled her down to kiss her again, as he’d done so frequently over the last hours. He simply couldn’t get enough of her. He loved reminding himself that she was here, in his arms. She was his.

“You’ll always be safe with me, Ren. Even when I’m pushing you. When I’m hard and demanding, and I can be both, no doubt. I love that you’re open with me about what you like. What turns you on. And what makes you feel safe. I’ll never willingly or purposely do anything that ever makes you feel afraid, insecure or inferior. And I’ll damn sure never do anything to humiliate you. If you don’t feel comfortable going to dinner with Angelina because she’s someone I’ve fucked, then we’ll absolutely stay home. But know this: I fucked her. Did I like her? Did I respect her? Absolutely. I’m not an asshole. But I fucked her because it felt good, it turned me on and it was what she and Micah wanted. I didn’t make love to her and therein lies the difference.”

Ren smiled and leaned down to kiss him and then she curled her arms around his neck and hugged tightly. When she finally pulled back, she wore a mischievous smile.

“I do hope this doesn’t mean that you’re going to spend the whole two weeks ‘making love’ to me.”

He sent her a smoldering look that should have worried her. And maybe it did by the sudden increase in her respirations.

“Oh no, Ren,” he said in a soft voice. “I’m going to make love to you, absolutely. But I’m also going to fuck you so long and so hard that you’ll beg me for mercy. And if you’re a good girl, I just might decide to have a little.”

He knew he’d said exactly the right thing because her eyes caught fire and she stirred like a wild thing in his arms. He remembered all that Lucas had said in their meeting and as much as it galled him to receive advice from another man—especially a man who had such a strong hold on Ren—he also knew that Lucas was exactly right.

Ren didn’t want or need a man who’d coddle or pamper her endlessly. She needed a dominant man who wouldn’t give an inch and who would take her to the very edge of her boundaries and then pull her back with a gentle hand.

And hell yes, he could be that man. He was that man. Ren may not know it yet. But in a few days’ time, any doubt she may have would be gone. He’d damn well make sure of that.

CHAPTER 20

Shopping with Cole was a whole new experience for Ren. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t shopped with him in the past, but they’d had a decidedly smaller budget back in the day. They’d bought things like jeans, tennis shoes and seen budget films at the dollar cinema. They may have walked by an exclusive retail shop, but that was the extent of any name-brand shopping for them.

This time, Cole seemed determined to cater to her every desire and not only that but he was involved in every single purchase. He studied each outfit, had her try on every pair of shoes and then he simply made his selections based on what he thought looked the best on her.

As for her part, she hadn’t a single complaint. His tastes were as impeccable as Lucas’s. He knew precisely what complemented her figure, her hair, her coloring and he seemed to love any top that showed off her tattoo.

She also discovered his love of ultrafeminine lingerie. He loved her in soft colors. Pinks, peaches, lavenders. Lucas usually leaned more toward black and darker, more sultry colors. Cole liked …girlie.

He was also wickedly evil. He’d requested she try on a particular set of lingerie complete with the hot pink stilettos he’d picked out himself. Ren called them Barbie shoes. Cole merely informed her she looked hot in them.

His eyes glittered in approval as she stood before him, clad in pale pink lace panties and a matching bra and wearing those killer fuck-me shoes.

Okay and well, she had to admit, she felt like a total bombshell with the way he devoured her with his gaze.

“Tonight I’m going to fuck you in nothing more than those shoes,” he said in a growly voice. “I’m going to hold on to the heels and spread you wide while I ride you long and hard.”

Oh hell. A shudder worked up her body. Her knees shook and she nearly went down in those heels. Cole was on his feet and caught her to him but chuckled at how flustered she appeared. He knew exactly his effect on her. He delighted in it.

“I could fuck you right here, Ren. The saleslady won’t interrupt. She’s perfectly happy to give us all the time and privacy we want.”

“It’s not her I’m worried about,” Ren muttered, not willing to admit just how turned on she was by the idea of him fucking her right in the dressing room. Or maybe even turn her over his knee and mark her bottom in her pretty new underwear. Or maybe he would make her suck his cock on her knees while he sat so indolently in that chair where he’d watched her model.

Her imagination had taken her on a delicious trip through all the possibilities.

“What I wouldn’t give to see what’s going on in that pretty head of yours right now,” Cole murmured. “Care to share?”

She shook her head vehemently and actually blushed. She hadn’t felt like a little girl in so very long and now she was actually blushing like a preteen with her first crush.

“No way I want someone to walk in on us!” she whispered.

Cole smiled.

That smile made her immediately suspicious and her eyes narrowed as his smile only grew more arrogant. He crooked his finger, his eyes daring her to refuse.

She took the few steps to close the distance, her pulse racing. He touched her jaw and then leaned down so he was a mere breath from her mouth.

Oh but he was delicious. He looked delicious and smelled so yummy she wanted to lick him from top to bottom and everywhere in between. He oozed sexuality from every pore. He was the type of man who she’d pick out of a crowd every single time. Aloof. Confident. A little arrogant. Bold. And absolutely, mouth-wateringly gorgeous.

“The store is closed, my darling. There is only you and me and a very happy saleslady who was only too thrilled to close the store for us to have a very private shopping excursion. And I guarantee she won’t appear until I’ve summoned her.”

“In that case,” she murmured.

“Care to share what devious thoughts you were having?”

She grinned. “I am ever obedient.”

“Mmm, yes you are. Now I must consider what I want my darling submissive to do.”

She lowered her eyes demurely and then took a step back just so he could see her in those decadent heels and the frothy pink lingerie that he did seem to love so. She was so excited she nearly went up on tiptoe in her eagerness to see what he would exact from her.

His eyes immediately went dark with approval. The power that rolled off him was a tangible wave that wrapped around her and lured her seductively in.

Oh yes, she was his. She would do whatever he commanded. She would please him as he’d never been pleased. It was a sudden, fierce need that came from deep within. From her soul. It was a craving as strong as any desire she’d ever experienced. She wanted to be his, wanted his strength and his dominance. Right here, right now, among the beautiful outfits he was showering her with. She wanted him to assert his dominance and his ownership.

When his hands dropped to his belt, her knees threatened to give out. Slowly and methodically, he undid the buckle and pulled at the leather until it came free of his slacks.

She had no idea what he planned to do with that belt but she hoped. Oh God, she hoped. She could literally feel the hot kiss of leather on her ass and she nearly swooned with want.

“Go to the mirror,” he ordered.

His voice was all business and yet layered with a gruff darkness that was so very seductive.

She honest to God wasn’t sure if she could take the three steps to the mirror.

She put one foot hesitantly in front of the other, grateful when she remained steady.

“Face it and put your hands up over your head, palms pressed to the glass, then push out so there is space between your body and the mirror.”

She did as he commanded. Pressed her palms to the full-length mirror and then took one step back.

“Spread your legs and look at yourself.”

She raised startled eyes to view herself, surprised at how aroused and how …drugged …she looked. Already she was well on her way to a place only he could take her. She embraced it. Welcomed it. Craved it with every inch of her body.

He slid his hand over the curve of her behind. Caressed the cheeks, one and then the other. He toyed with the thin strip that covered the cleft of her ass and then smoothed his hand over the plump flesh again.

“Such a beautiful ass, Ren. Perfectly shaped. So deliciously fuckable. But equally delicious? My mark on those pretty, dusky cheeks.”

Without warning he issued a sharp slap with his hand. It rocked her forward and she closed her eyes as the bite of pain was quickly replaced with the warm haze of pleasure.

“Open your eyes, Ren. I want you to watch yourself while I use my belt on your ass. I want you to see how beautiful you are. And then you’re going to watch me fuck you from behind while you keep your hands against the glass. If you move them. Even an inch. I’ll punish you.”

Her eyes widened. They hadn’t discussed punishment. She wasn’t even sure what he considered punishment. Lucas rarely ever punished her. There was no need. She took her obedience very seriously. It was a matter of respect and she’d never disrespect Lucas or Cole.

Cole smiled back at her. “You won’t move your hands, Ren. I know you.”

No, she wouldn’t move them. No matter what he did. No matter what he made her endure. No matter how much he drove her wild with mind-blowing pleasure. She’d obey and she wouldn’t move her hands.

“Face forward.”

Her gaze returned to her own reflection and she saw the excitement and anticipation glowing in her eyes. Behind her, he moved and then looked directly at her, ensuring she was doing as he’d commanded.

She flexed her fingers against the glass just as the leather snapped across her ass. She jumped, flinching against the sudden fire. Just as quickly a whispery moan escaped her lips and her eyes turned all soft and glowy as pleasure hummed through her veins.

“Don’t look away,” he said hoarsely. “See how beautiful and wild you look. See what I see.”

She stared back at the woman in the mirror. She was beautiful. Her eyes flashed. Her neck arched. Her hair flowed over her shoulders and she looked seductive, sensual and vibrant.

The belt snapped against her flesh again and it was all she could do to keep her eyes open as bliss descended. Each blow was an erotic mix of edgy, fiery pain and decadent ecstasy.

He wasn’t easy. He didn’t wimp out. He didn’t pretend to spank her and throw little pats her way. She would have been deeply disappointed and thoroughly unsatisfied. This was what she needed. That edge. The thin line between what she could and couldn’t take. She wanted it pushed. She wanted to strain her very limits every single time. She wanted him to take her there and then pull her back with a loving hand. Just like Lucas.

“How many can you take, Ren?”

She blinked, perplexed by the question. It wasn’t one she should answer. Through her haze, she knew the right answer.

“As many as you choose to give me.”

Satisfaction carved a line through his features. His mouth firmed and his eyes glinted in approval.

“Your ass is so pretty. It has a nice rosy blush that complements your lingerie quite nicely. The only thing better than the marks from my belt will be the fingerprints I leave when I hold you down and fuck you.”

She shivered and her palms slid the barest of inches, suddenly slick against the smooth glass. She was quick to reposition herself, ready for the next lash.

It came like fire. Quick. Searing. Suddenly one after the other. He forewent the methodical striping that he’d begun and peppered a line over her entire ass until her entire backside throbbed and burned.

Then the belt slid from his hand and landed on the floor, the metal buckle clinking on the polished tile. He gripped her ass in both palms, massaging roughly over her burning flesh.

Impatiently, he ripped the thin lace of the panties and they fell down one leg to hang at her knee. He pushed upward on her buttocks, baring the entrance to her pussy, drawing it so tight she knew it would be almost impossible for him to get inside her easily.

She didn’t want easy. She wanted an animalistic taking.

He unzipped his slacks but left them on. His cock protruded through the fly and he rolled a condom on before returning his hands to her ass.

He slapped the cheeks to bring back the burn. He continued to administer stinging swats until she moaned and twisted restlessly in his hold.

Then he was inside her. Quick. Brutal. Shocking.

But so very good.

She leaned her forehead against the glass, overwhelmed by the ferocity of his possession. He was so thick and huge within her. She’d been damp, but she hadn’t been completely prepared. She loved how snugly she fit around him. Loved the delicious friction of his too-large erection in her tight opening.

“You’re resisting me, Ren,” Cole said as his fingers dug more tightly into her ass.

He gave another hard push and she gasped when he only gained an inch. Then he pulled out, his cock rippling over swollen, engorged flesh. She nearly orgasmed on the spot and had to use all her restraint not to let go.

“Open for me. Take me all the way,” he ordered.

Then he surged forward, until his hips slapped against her hips. His entry was rough, delicious, painful, intensely pleasurable. A whole host of conflicting sensations that had her incoherent.

Her mind went blank. She couldn’t even conjure the simplest of thoughts. All she was aware of was Cole’s possession. Him inside her. And how very right it felt.

Her face was flushed. Eyes heavy and drugged. Her lips were swollen and yet he hadn’t kissed her. Had she bitten them in reaction to the mind-numbing bliss she was experiencing?

Her hair was tousled and sexy around her face. She looked like a wild creature wrestled and subdued. She arched her neck and moaned when he rammed into her again.

Then suddenly he pulled out and wrapped his arm around her waist. She was lifted into the air and he carried her across the room to where one of the armchairs was positioned.

He pushed her roughly down and ordered her to grip the arms of the chair with her hands. Then he lifted the bottom half of her body up so that her weight was supported by her hands gripping the arms. He spread her and then thrust back into her.

“I needed deeper,” he rasped. “I can take you deeper this way. Keep your head down. Arch your ass. Open yourself to me, baby, Ah hell, that’s it. Love it when I’m deep inside you.”

The words slid over her flesh like the finest silk.

He fucked her ruthlessly, taking his pleasure and driving her further and further to madness. After a moment, he picked her up again, like she weighed nothing, and positioned her on the large ottoman on her hands and knees. And then he fucked her from behind for five long minutes.

His stamina amazed her. He was a machine. A beautiful, ruthless machine designed to bring her maximum pleasure.

He wrapped his hand in her hair, twisted and then pulled her head back, angling it so she was forced to meet his fierce gaze. His eyes glittered. Animalistic? Oh yeah, she’d gotten her wish. This was no gentle wooing. No swoony love-making session. This was as guttural as it got. He was fucking her, owning her, giving her no doubt that he owned every inch of her body and that he could do what he damn well pleased with her.

“Come, Ren. You have exactly ten seconds to take your pleasure before I take mine.”

To reinforce his command he pulled harder on her hair and began fucking in long, rapid strokes that shook her entire body.

Her vision blurred. Heat fanned out over her body until sweat broke out on her forehead. Tension. So much tension. He drove into her body, hammering with speed and force that made her breathless.

And then his other hand went to her neck. Just a simple, gentle caress. He ran his fingers over her shoulder and then down to her breast to tenderly brush over her nipple.

The contrast between the savagery of his possession and the one hand in her hair holding her so tightly and the other hand caressing her so sweetly completely undid her.

Her orgasm flashed over her, brutal in its intensity. So …powerful. She couldn’t breathe. She could only take what he continued to give her as wave after wave of excruciating pleasure consumed her.

She didn’t want it to end. Not just the orgasm, but the experience of being so consumed by this man. She wanted him to keep touching her. To keep that contact between them and the intimate connection made so much stronger by trust.

Did she trust him? Definitely she did. And maybe that made her a fool, but she saw no deception in him. All she saw was genuine regret and a soul-deep desire to make up for past mistakes.

Even when she’d felt betrayed by him, she’d known he would never hurt her. Never.

His thrusts slowed and he became gentler as her skin prickled with post-orgasmic sensitivity. Then he pulled out and walked around in front of her, yanking impatiently at the condom.

“Open your mouth.”

Her lips obediently parted and he placed the tip of his cock on her bottom lip and began to work his hand back and forth.

“Put your tongue out. That’s it,” he said when she complied.

He closed his eyes and groaned, gave one more pull and the first jet of semen shot into her mouth. He continued to guide the hot liquid onto her tongue and then he slid into her mouth, warm and rigid and emptied the last of his release into the back of her throat.

For the longest time he remained there, his cock deep in her mouth as he stroked her hair with loving caresses. Then finally he pulled away and brushed his thumb over her swollen lips.

He tucked himself back into his slacks then bent to retrieve the belt he’d dropped on the floor. Her ass tingled all over again as she relived each and every stroke of the leather.

“Get dressed,” he said softly. “I’ll have the saleslady collect our purchases and send me the bill.”

CHAPTER 21

Ren was nervous and she wished she wasn’t. With Lucas she didn’t worry because …She frowned a moment, feeling disloyal for the thoughts crossing her mind. But it wasn’t like she could turn off an entire year of an intense, close connection to a man she trusted implicitly.

When she was with Lucas, she didn’t fear new situations. She knew with absolute certainty that he would take care of her, make sure she was comfortable and that any fears or nervousness she might experience would be soothed.

With Lucas, she felt confident and at peace both with herself and her role in his life.

Now she was going with Cole to meet his friends and the fact that she was on edge was pretty damn ridiculous. She’d even met Damon and his wife already, though not under the best of circumstances.

But she’d only been with Cole two days. She’d only been back in his life such a short time. Though she did trust him, she hadn’t yet reached the same level of confidence as she had with Lucas. No, Cole wouldn’t hurt her physically, but he’d hurt her emotionally. He’d devastated her and he had the power to do so again no matter how much she wished no man held such power over her.

And well, there was the fact that Cole had been intimate in varying degrees with both women who would be present. If that didn’t make things awkward, she didn’t know what would.

She put on a pink dress that fit her like a dream with just a little swish at her mid-thigh. Enough to make her feel a little sassy and the color set off the dramatic midnight black of her hair and her creamy skin tone.

The hot pink fuck-me shoes were the natural choice, but when put together with the dress, it made her feel like a tart. The Barbie shoes would wait for another night when she didn’t care one way or another what others thought of her.

Instead she went with strappy silver sandals with a clear heel and just enough bling to make her feet sparkle. What girl could resist sparkly shoes? If there was such a woman, it wasn’t her.

She brushed out her hair, applied pink lip gloss and then went in search of Cole. He was waiting at the bottom of the stairs and whistled appreciatively as she descended.

His smile brought back so many memories. He looked …happy. And younger. Much like the young man she’d known ten years ago. Only now he was much more larger than life, older, wiser and so damn gorgeous and confident that she went weak in the knees around him.

What would their lives be like now if he hadn’t walked away? Would they have stayed together? Would they be happy even now?

As she got to the last step, he reached up to take her hand and assist her down. He pulled her in close, breathed in the scent of her hair, just like he always used to do, and then he nudged her chin up so he could take her mouth.

And she said take, because that’s precisely what he did. He didn’t kiss her exactly, although that was what happened. But it was the way he kissed her. It was a reminder—a forceful, unmistakable reminder—of his possession. That he considered her his. But at the same time, it wasn’t a sterile, clinical gesture.

It was …sweet. Breathtaking.

Warmth spread through her veins until her pulse throbbed and her chest squeezed for air. All her lip gloss would be gone but she didn’t give a damn.

What woman didn’t want to be kissed this way? Tender. Yet strong, dominant, reassuring. That was the word she was trying to think of. Reassuring.

His touch held a wealth of reassurance. It told her I’ll never let anything touch you. I’ll take care of you. You’re mine.

When he pulled away, their gazes locked and he seemed content to simply stare at her. He touched her cheek with his finger and traced a gentle line over the contours of her face.

“You’re beautiful, Ren. You’ve always been beautiful but there is something mesmerizing about you now. Time has been very good to you. You look …content. Confident. And I can’t tell you how sexy I find confidence on a woman. You look like a woman with nothing to prove and it makes me want to possess you all the more.”

Her cheeks tightened with pleasure at the compliment but also at the sincerity that warmed his eyes. She self-consciously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and he chuckled softly, tracing the path of her hand with his own.

“You always did do that when I complimented you. It’s still as adorable now as it was then.”

To cover the fact that she had no idea how to respond, she broke away and performed a sassy twirl and then held up her hands. “Do I look all right? Not going to embarrass you in front of your friends?”

He frowned and then caught her hand. “Never.”

He tucked her into his side and started for the front door. Parked outside was a steel gray Aston Martin. She lifted one eyebrow as he opened her door for her and she slid into the luxurious leather seat.

When Cole slid in next to her and started the engine, she quickly buckled herself but stared over as he pulled out of the drive.

“How did you make your fortune, Cole? Not that I ever doubted you wouldn’t become a success, but when we parted, you were still raising cash for your first business venture. At the time, no one wanted to deal with you because you were so young and you didn’t yet have a business degree. Did you ever finish school?”

Cole grinned, pulled out on the highway and gunned the engine. “Nope. You better than anyone knows that school frustrated me. I didn’t like the regimen, the discipline and above all the patience. I never subscribed to the whole do A and then B and eventually get a job doing C.”

She sighed. “Unlike me, who craved the routines and schedules and the comfort of knowing I’d be employable after graduation. Even if I did never end up using my degree. So you made it all on your own?”

“I bought into a partnership because I was never able to raise enough capital to go out on my own. After two years, I bought out my partners, spent another year streamlining the business until it was turning a healthy profit and then I sold it for a very nice sum of money. Enough to live on and begin a new venture.”

“And what do you like to venture in?” she asked.

“Damon and I partner on a lot of projects now. I have a keen interest in timber, chips and bio fuels.”

She wrinkled her nose. “It all sounds like Greek to me. You invest in potato chips?”

He laughed and reached over to tug at her hair. “No, smartass. Wood chips. To make paper out of. I supply paper mills with chips. I also own a sawmill and am partnered with Damon on another. But I also fund a lot of development and I turn over real estate.”

“So you’re in the business of making money,” she teased.

Cole snorted. “Aren’t we all?”

She shrugged. “I suppose. I guess you’re just particularly good at it.”

He nodded and didn’t offer any false modesty, which she found even more drool-worthy. She hated a man who didn’t own his success. Or made silly excuses or blamed luck. Cole knew he was good. He may not walk around bragging about it but he wasn’t about to not take credit for it either.

“So tell me something,” she said after clearing her throat. “About tonight.”

He turned to quickly glance at her, one eyebrow lifted. “You aren’t worried about tonight, are you? We don’t have to go. Just say the word. I’ll arrange for us to have a nice dinner together just you and I.”

She smiled, touched by his concern. “No, that isn’t what I mean. I’m just wondering how this is supposed to play out. I mean, am I going as your …” She formed the word carefully, not wanting to sound offended or like she thought he was being disrespectful to her. “…submissive. I mean, I know you said both Damon and Micah are like these big dominant males with women who are completely submissive to them, and I just wasn’t sure what my role is tonight. I just don’t want to embarrass you or do or say the wrong thing.”

To her utter shock, his expression went grim and then he swerved onto the shoulder before pulling to an abrupt halt. Then he turned in the seat to face her.

“What you are, is someone very important to me. These are my friends. Very good friends. It’s no different than any other group of friends who get together and have dinner, have a few drinks, laugh and have good conversation. Yes, Serena and Angelina are submissive. They also happen to be very much in love with their husbands, and conversely they are adored beyond reason by their men. If you want to know if they know anything about our relationship, the answer is no. However, they are well acquainted with my proclivities, if that word doesn’t offend you, so they are very likely to guess or at least speculate on your role in my life.”

“I’m sorry,” she offered softly. “I’m still just a bit off kilter with all of this. Three days ago I was with a completely different man. A whole different set of rules. You have to know, this isn’t typical of me. I prefer long-standing, intimate relationships with a foundation of trust. I’m not into bed hopping or partnering up on a whim. I’m still a little bewildered by how quickly I became the property of another man.”

He touched her chin, forcing her gaze back upward. “Not just another man, Ren. Me. There’s a difference. You were mine first. And don’t apologize for wanting information before walking into a new situation. I should have done a better job of explaining it to you. I’d never ever want you to feel uncomfortable, embarrassed or uneasy. I’m not some asshole who has to flash around his submissive on a leash in order to prove I’m some kind of man. I don’t need those kinds of statements in order for the world to know you’re mine. The only people who need to know it are you and me. Everyone else? I could give a fuck about.”

She smiled because now more than ever he sounded just like the Cole she’d always known. No, he’d never given much credence to what others thought. It was likely what had made him the success that he’d become.

He smoothed his palm over her face, brushing aside a strand of hair. “Does it bother you, Ren? For them to know you’re mine?”

There, behind the confidence and the blunt words, was a thin layer of worry. Not exactly insecurity but perhaps disappointment.

She leaned up, cupped her hand over his strong jaw and then pressed her lips to his. “No,” she whispered. “It doesn’t bother me at all. I find I just don’t want to disappoint you in any way. I’ve never wanted to disappoint you. That doesn’t go away. Not in ten years.”

He kissed her back. Thrust his hand into her hair and held her to his mouth. His tongue brushed across her lips, tasting, retreating and then boldly advancing again.

He rested his forehead against hers, still holding her to him as he quietly caught his breath.

“No, Ren. You’ve never disappointed me. It was me who let you down. All I want is for you to be yourself and be happy. I love the real Ren. And I’d never want you to be anyone else.”

She swallowed hard. Her heart twisted, robbing her of breath. This was all she’d ever wanted, wasn’t it?

A year ago, she would have said yes, unequivocally. To have Cole back, to have him here, saying the words he was saying. To have another chance to make the past right.

But that was before Lucas. Even as her heart soaked up every piece of Cole, there was still a part that clung stubbornly to Lucas. Maybe it would go away in time. Maybe it wouldn’t.

If Lucas came for her tomorrow, would she be able to tell him no? Was it easier for her to cling to Cole and to accept this fire between them because she feared that Lucas had left her just as Cole had left before?

She didn’t like the possible answers to those questions. She didn’t like that if Lucas was standing in front of her right now, she didn’t know what way she’d go. How could she?

The coward in her hoped that Lucas had moved on because it meant she wouldn’t have a choice to make. She was deeply shamed by that part of her. But the idea of having to choose between two men she cared deeply for had the potential to completely break her.

She shook off the dark thoughts and refocused on the present. If she could put Lucas away in a neat little box, she was happy—extremely so—with Cole. No, they hadn’t been together long. Maybe it wouldn’t even work out. But for now …For now? She was content. A little excited. Hopeful. Who knew what the next two weeks would bring?

Cole kissed her nose and then pulled back, repositioning himself in his seat. He reached over to squeeze her hand and then drove back onto the highway.

A few minutes later, they pulled up to a gated driveway and Cole rolled down his window to speak into the small intercom box. The gate began to open and Cole accelerated up the winding drive and around a corner to a beautiful home.

It was larger than Cole’s and while the landscaping was exquisite, it didn’t feel as homey or personal to her as Cole’s house had. But for her, Cole’s home fit him, or at least her image of him.

Cole parked behind another vehicle and Ren waited as he walked around to get her door. He reached down for her hand and pulled her up to stand beside him.

“I meant it, you know,” he murmured.

She lifted her brows questioningly.

“You’re beautiful.”

She smiled and relaxed. He twined his fingers with hers and started for the door, keeping her beside him the whole way.

Like Lucas, he just had a way of ensuring she felt comfortable.

She closed her eyes. Enough about Lucas. She had to stop with the mental comparisons. It wasn’t fair to either man, but it sure as hell wasn’t fair to Cole, who was doing everything in his power to make her happy.

A tall, imposing man answered the door. Ren’s brow crinkled and she glanced warily at Cole. The guy looked like a bouncer. A higher-class version, but someone into personal security for sure.

Cole just grinned. “How are you, Sam? Is Serena keeping you on your toes these days?”

Sam grimaced and then stepped aside to gesture Cole and her inside.

“Mr. and Mrs. Roche await you in the sitting room. Would you like something to drink? And your lady?”

“This is Ren,” Cole said. “Ren, this is Sam, Damon’s jack-of-all-trades.”

Ren smiled while Sam gravely shook her hand.

“Would you like a drink?” Cole asked her. “Damon stocks very good wine. Well, and everything else. Chances are, if you want it, he has it.”

“I like white wine. I’m not picky.”

Cole nodded. “Make that two.”

Sam disappeared and Cole took Ren’s hand again and led her further into the house. It was opulently furnished but nothing was gaudy. Damon, and perhaps Serena, had excellent taste. The artwork was beautiful. The furniture was tasteful and elegant. The entire house had a look of refinement that was hard to achieve on purpose.

But it still made her vaguely uncomfortable. Almost like she was in a place she could look but not touch. Already she felt the urge to tense up, put on a fake mask and never let these people see inside.

They walked into a spacious sitting room, although it looked like a regular living room to Ren. But perhaps when people had this many rooms in a house, they felt the need to name them all something different.

Damon and Serena were sitting on one of the sofas and another couple sat on the loveseat diagonal to the sofa. The woman was small and curvy, with beautiful caramel-colored skin that told of her Hispanic heritage and long dark brown hair. Her eyes were dark as well, a perfect match to the dark-haired, dark-eyed man who sat next to her.

Both couples rose when Cole entered the room with Ren. Ren hung back automatically even though Cole bore her forward with him.

“Cole, so glad you and Ren could make it,” Damon said warmly. “It’s very nice to see you again, Ren.”

Ren smiled back until her jaw felt frozen. Serena stood at Damon’s side and offered Ren a genuine smile as well.

“Come with me, Ren. I’ll introduce you to Micah and Angelina and then we girls can let the guys do their thing.”

Damon rolled his eyes but let go of her hand. Serena reached for Ren’s wrist and guided her in Micah and Angelina’s direction.

“Micah, Angelina, this is Ren Michaels. Ren, these are dear friends of ours, Micah and Angelina Hudson. Their daughter, Nia, is at the sitter’s tonight.”

“It’s a pleasure, Ren,” Micah said, his husky, deep voice washing over her. It had that thread of authority she so craved, one guaranteed to make her sit up and pay attention. He too was a man confident of his dominance.

“Hi, Ren,” Angelina offered sweetly, her shy smile delighting Ren.

“Okay, let go of Angelina so we girls can go sit. There’s only so long a pregnant woman should have to stand, and my feet are screaming,” Serena said impatiently.

Micah cracked a grin. “Sure thing, doll. I know when I’ve been given my marching orders.”

He leaned down to kiss Angelina and then stepped around the women and ambled over to where Cole stood with Damon. Not two seconds later, Sam appeared with wine for Cole and Ren.

After Ren took her glass, Serena motioned her and Angelina toward the couch. “Let’s go sit.”

Angelina grinned and leaned toward Ren. “She’s cranky. Don’t mind her.”

“I heard that,” Serena grumbled. She eased back onto the couch and sighed so loud that the men threw amused looks over their shoulders.

Ren perched on the loveseat across from Angelina and Serena, still unsure of what to make of these women.

“She and the others were all about cracking jokes about me when I was a waddling house,” Angelina continued with a smug smile. “It’s not so fun for Serena now that the shoe’s on the other foot.”

Serena glared at Angelina. “Shut up.”

“Who are the others?” Ren asked curiously.

“Our other friends. Girlfriends,” Serena explained. “There’s Faith, Julie and now Lyric, and of course Angelina and I.”

Despite not really wanting to get into sensitive subject matter, Ren was fascinated by Serena being pregnant and how it played into her relationship—the type of relationship—she and Damon had. She knew enough from Cole to know that Damon was the dominant force twenty-four seven, in and out of bed. And yet when Damon looked at his wife, his eyes were soft with love. When he touched her, there was such gentleness and caring. Damon was the type of man Ren herself most longed for and had found with both Cole and Lucas. The other men in her life? Not so much.

“You look preoccupied,” Serena said, interrupting her thoughts. “Is something wrong?”

Ren smiled slightly. “I was being nosy and trying to decide whether to be rude and ask you a question.”

Both Angelina and Serena lifted their eyebrows. “Oh do tell,” Angelina said. “I think I definitely want to hear this.”

Ren’s cheeks warmed and her courage faltered. “It’s none of my business.”

Serena shrugged. “I’ll let you know if it dips too far into the off-limits territory.”

Ren sucked in her breath. “I just wondered, with you pregnant now and a baby entering the picture. How did it change your relationship? And before you think I’m some freak with too much curiosity for her own good, it’s just that I’ve often weighed my desire for a family—children—with the type of relationship I need and I can’t reconcile the two. But you …you seem to have it all. I think I envy you.”

Serena’s eyes softened and she and Angelina exchanged secret smiles.

“I was worried at first. The decision to have a child wasn’t made lightly by either of us. But in a lot of ways it heightens our relationship. It’s hard to explain. I’ve always loved Damon’s dominance and his protectiveness when it comes to me and how he cherishes me and takes care of me. But it’s even more pronounced now that I’m pregnant with his baby. It’s been truly wonderful.”

Angelina nodded her agreement. “It was the same with me and Micah. He was just so gaga over the idea of me being pregnant with his child. He wouldn’t let me lift a finger. He wasn’t any less dominant, but his dominance was exerted in other ways.”

“It’s not that things didn’t change,” Serena continued. “They did. I mean, it’s not like he’s going to bust out with a flogger or something when I’m as big as a house with swollen ankles and hormonal swings from hell. He still demands my obedience and my respect but he’s less demanding of me physically if that makes sense. But no less emotionally.”

“No, it makes perfect sense,” Ren murmured. “I think it must be wonderful to have that.”

“You should have seen Cole that night in the restaurant,” Serena said in a low voice. “When he saw you again. I’ve never seen him like that. He was so determined to find you.”

Ren smiled. “Yes, he was.”

“As much as I hate to interrupt you ladies, dinner is being served,” Damon said as he came to stand beside Serena. He lowered his hand and gently pulled his wife up beside him.

Ren stood and edged toward Cole. His hand slid over her shoulder and he squeezed reassuringly. Just that simple gesture warmed her to her toes. He wrapped his arm around her waist and stood there holding her to him while he waited for the others to precede them out of the living room.

“Everything okay?” he murmured in her ear as they turned to follow.

She nodded and then laced her hand with his, liking the comfort of his touch. He kept his fingers twined with hers as they entered the dining room and then he ushered her into her seat before taking the one next to her.

Dinner conversation was light and she relaxed more as the evening wore on. Cole’s friends were good people. Down to earth. Damon obviously had more money than God, but he wasn’t pretentious, seemed to have no ego, but he wore confidence as surely as Cole did.

Micah wasn’t as affluent as the other two men but he fit in well with the others. He too oozed confidence. His expression, his demeanor, it all spoke of a strong man who knew exactly what he wanted and apologized to no one.

In the company of so many gorgeous, alpha males, Ren was light-headed. She was well acquainted with the entire spectrum of dominant men. There were those who played at being dominant, those who tried to be dominant and then there were those who just were. It didn’t take effort or practice. It came to them as naturally as breathing. They had nothing to prove, no ego to be stroked. They liked what they liked and adored the women in their care.

These three were such men.

She was suddenly eager to return home with Cole so she could enjoy his every whim. It heated her blood to imagine what he would want from her, what he would exact or how he’d seek to gain his pleasure from her.

And then she imagined herself round and big with his child. How much more adoring would he be? He already was so mindful of her well-being. Her throat tightened at the wistful thoughts. Having his baby was a lovely fantasy.

She shook her head. Seeing Serena had made her fanciful. She was still far too young to worry about having babies. She hadn’t even managed to land in a stable relationship yet. But one day…

“I hope you’re thinking of me.”

Cole’s soft murmur caressed her ear and she started guiltily. When she realized only he had noticed her inattention to the current conversation she relaxed and leaned into his side.

“I was,” she admitted. “I was thinking of later tonight. When I’m yours to command. I was imagining what you would want.”

His gaze smoldered and the blue in his eyes burned like a flame. And then he simply stood, helped her gracefully to her feet and said in Damon’s direction, “Thank you for dinner, Damon.” He nodded at Serena. “And you, Serena. It was lovely. I’ll be taking Ren home now. I’m afraid the evening has been tiring for her.”

Amusement gleamed in Micah’s eyes as his gaze drifted from Cole to Ren. It took all of Ren’s control not to blush.

“See you later, man,” Micah called.

“It was nice to meet you both,” Ren said to Serena and Angelina. “I hope to see you again sometime.”

“Oh, I think you can count on it,” Angelina said with a grin.

Cole’s hand tightened around her arm and she found herself being propelled toward the doorway where Sam waited.

“Good night,” Sam said politely as he showed them out.

Cole muttered a good night and then hurriedly pushed Ren into the car. When he slid into the driver’s seat a moment later, his hands shook as he put the keys into the ignition.

He turned to look at her as he accelerated down the drive. “I hope you’re up for what I have in mind, darling. It was sheer hell sitting next to you all night when you were looking so damn sexy in that dress. And then to know you were thinking of me and what I would do to you later …”

She smiled, well satisfied with the promise in his eyes. “I’m up for it.”

CHAPTER 22

The ride home was tense and silent. Every inch of Ren’s skin was alive and aware. Her senses were hyperreactive. Every look he threw her way. Each time he moved. It all served to heighten the anticipation of when they’d arrive home and she’d see just how ruthless he could be.

She sensed it in him tonight. How close to the edge he skated. As if to now he’d leashed that part of himself he most wanted to let loose.

She couldn’t wait.

How magnificent would it be to feel the full force of all that power. To know that she was safe and protected by his strength.

She shivered as they pulled into his drive. It was hard to breathe. Each respiration was short, rapid and so light that at times she thought maybe she held them in.

“Get out,” he said in a terse voice.

Her hand shaking, she fumbled with the handle before finally pushing the door open. She stepped out and he was there instantly, so close she could smell him, could feel the warmth emanating from his tense body.

“Go inside, undress. Wear only the pink heels I just purchased for you. Wait for me in the bedroom, on your knees, ready to receive me. You have five minutes.”

She didn’t hesitate. Turning, she hurried inside, her pulse thumping with enough force as to unsettle her. She had to force herself to go slow up the stairs or risk falling.

Once in his bedroom, she stripped down to nothing and then ducked into her closet for the pink shoes. She slid her feet into them and caught a glimpse of herself in the full-length mirror on the back of the closet door.

She looked deliciously wanton. Her hair was tousled and spilled over her shoulders and down her back. Her nipples were dark and taut to the point of aching. And the fuck-me shoes made her purr with approval. Oh Cole, are you in for a treat.

She smiled because she wasn’t one for false modesty. She looked good. She was in shape. And she liked her body.

She slid her hands over her hips and then up her waist to cup her breasts. Cole thought her beautiful and he said it in a way that made her believe she absolutely was. He liked her confidence but she’d realized quickly that her confidence was at its highest with him and Lucas.

She fully believed that one of the reasons some of her past relationships hadn’t worked and that one man in particular had worked so hard to break her down was because he and others like him had been threatened by her confidence. Some men didn’t deal well with a capable, confident woman and their instinct was to do everything in their power to destroy them.

Conversely, there were men like Lucas and Cole who reveled in a strong, self-assured woman. Yes, they were dominant, but they celebrated strength in their women. Even as they controlled, protected and cherished them.

It was a contradiction not understood by many. How could a man bent on completely dominating a woman possibly appreciate strength and self-sufficiency?

Ren had seen men from the full spectrum. Some played at dominance. Some were abusive in their absolute control. Some had no interest in the woman’s happiness, only their own. To some it was a game and nothing more. But then there were men like Cole and Lucas. Men who appreciated beauty. Celebrated it in many forms. And recognized that it came from a much deeper place than flesh.

These were men who had deep respect for the women in their keeping and in return they garnered Ren’s respect. It wasn’t something she offered lightly. Neither was her trust. Both had to be earned.

Looking at it that way, she realized she couldn’t lose. No matter which way she chose or which way was chosen for her, if Lucas had indeed walked away from her. She was fortunate. More fortunate than most, because she’d found not only one man she could trust absolutely, but two.

Peace settled over her like a warm, comforting hug. Peace, like everything else, was fleeting. Tomorrow she might be back to worrying or agonizing, but just for now she could let go and live in the moment. Because she might not ever get today back and tomorrow never offered any guarantees.

She smiled, nodded to herself in the mirror. She had a man to please and in doing so, please herself. She turned and retraced her steps back into the bedroom, stepped onto the thick rug Cole had put down the morning after she’d stayed on her knees on the hardwood floor waiting for him.

He hadn’t said a word, but the message was loud and clear. He would have her do nothing that brought her discomfort.

She went to her knees, briefly closed her eyes and took in a deep, calming breath. Then just as quickly as calm had descended, she heard his footsteps on the stairs.

Her pulse leapt to life and pounded beneath her skin. Her breathing sped up and got more shallow. Anticipation licked up her spine, sending chill bumps scattering across her back.

And then he walked into the bedroom, stopped and let his gaze rove appreciatively over her body.

He filled the room. The very air around her changed and went thick and heavy. He moved like a dream. There was authority in the way he carried himself. No hesitance. His gaze never left her, but neither did he show any hint of reaction.

He walked around her, loosening the buttons of his shirt. She kept her gaze straight ahead and remained still as he took his time undressing. After a moment he went into the bathroom and it seemed an eternity until he returned.

He was down to his jeans and she couldn’t help but stare at the lean muscle of his chest and rib cage. His shoulders were broad, and his arms rippled with muscle. A smattering of light brown, almost blond hair gathered at the hollow of his chest and then meandered in a straight line to his navel.

It was hell to wait when she wanted nothing more than to get to her feet and take what she wanted. And he looked to be in no hurry.

He crossed the room and opened an oak armoire. A moment later, he closed the door and she could see him holding coiled rope. A lot of rope. She swallowed and sucked in air through her nose.

He came to stand in front of her, holding the rope and then he slowly began unwinding it.

“Stand,” he commanded. “Legs apart, gaze forward, arms at your sides.”

Hoping she didn’t pitch forward, she awkwardly got to her feet, making sure she didn’t teeter in the heels.

Satisfaction darkened his eyes and she soaked up his approval.

“I love a woman in bondage,” he said, his voice low and husky and so enthralling she found herself leaning in his direction. “There is something so compelling about a woman bound and helpless, dependent on me for pleasure, for mercy, for everything.”

He was killing her. She closed her eyes and moaned softly, unable to quell the need that rose sharp within her.

“I’m going to cover you in rope, Ren. Only your breasts will be bare. Your pussy, your ass, your mouth. All of the things that please me the most and that I’ll avail myself of for my own pleasure.”

She swallowed again and lowered her head slightly in a show of submission.

He slid his fingers underneath her chin and prodded her upward once more. “Never look down, Ren. You may submit to me. You may obey me. But never, ever, will you look down like you’re lesser. Eyes and chin up always. Show me the proud, spirited woman who chooses to give me the gift of her submission.”

Tears burned her lids and she fought to keep them from falling. She met his gaze with fierce gratitude. For understanding her. For accepting her and for wanting her to be strong.

He leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. Just a whisper. Like a salute to the woman she was. His acknowledgment of who she was.

He began winding the rope around her body in intricate patterns. It was soft against her skin and he was careful that it didn’t abrade her flesh anywhere. The rope was pliable and would do no damage to her body.

Underneath her breasts and then over, drawing attention to the plump swells and presenting them to their best advantage. Between and over her legs, under and over her shoulders.

“I’m going to lay you on the bed to finish,” he said as he paused.

Gently, he lifted her and put her on her side on the bed. Immediately he curled her legs behind her, bending them at the knees before securing the rope around her thighs and ankles to keep her legs tightly bound together. When he was done, he rolled her onto her belly and brought her hands behind her back and secured them to her waist.

She was rendered immobile. The only part of her body she could move was her head. She was trussed hand and foot and positioned in such a way that she was absolutely helpless.

His hand smoothed over her ass in a gesture meant to comfort. “I’m going to suspend you from the ceiling. There is enough rope that it won’t cut into you and will easily bear your weight, but if anything hurts you at any time, I want you to tell me.”

She nodded.

His hands moved over her body, securing more rope and then he stepped back and pushed a button on the wall by the bed.

She gasped when she was lifted off the bed and began moving toward the foot and then over the floor. She dangled several feet above the carpet she’d knelt on and at first the sensation was dizzying.

Cole was there, immediately, his hand cupping her cheek and caressing until she gained her bearings.

“Do you know what I love most about this position? Besides the fact that you’re incredibly arresting wrapped in my rope, suspended in my bedroom. You’re open and vulnerable. I can have you in any way I want as many times as I want for as long as I want. And I’m going to have you, Ren.”

He walked around behind her and trailed a finger down the cleft of her ass, down to her pussy. He circled her entrance, pushed in to the knuckle once before withdrawing and fingering her clit.

Then he spun her slowly around so that he was standing at her mouth. He reached down, grasped her jaw, holding her in place, a clear sign of what he intended to do.

He let her go and she heard the rasp of his zipper. Then he turned her head to the side so that he had a better angle of entry into her mouth. Her hair hung down, trailing toward the floor. He caressed her cheek, petting and touching even as he prodded her mouth open.

“I’m going to fuck your mouth, Ren. There’s a difference. I could demand that you suck me off but what I want is for you to remain perfectly still while I fuck you long and hard and use your mouth just like I would use your pussy.”

His words incited dark fire deep within her soul. Those words, those dark promises called to a need buried so deep inside her that it was an essential, living, breathing part of her. It wasn’t just what she needed or wanted. It was who she was and she embraced it with every part of her.

He gripped the back of her head and guided his cock to her mouth. As soon as her lips parted, he shoved deep. Rough, hard, to the very back of her throat.

Her reflex was to gag but she battled with every ounce of her strength, forcing herself to relax and let him use her as he wanted. The very last thing she wanted was to fight him. She wanted this. Wanted him. All the shadows, the hard edges, the parts that he hid from everyone else.

She swung carelessly with the ropes as he pulled her to meet his thrusts. He slid over her tongue, his taste filling her mouth. She made wet sucking sounds as he ground against her chin, sounds he seemed to enjoy.

His hold on her was ruthless and yet there was tenderness in his fingers. Or maybe she imagined it. There was nothing gentle about his possession of her. He fucked her every bit as hard as he’d hinted.

She forced air through her nostrils and they flared when he lodged himself in the back of her throat and remained there several long seconds. But he always seemed to know precisely when she’d had enough and was at her limit. He eased back, granting her the freedom to breathe and to swallow and steady herself.

Then he was back inside her mouth. Stroking. Thrusting. Fucking. All too soon he angled her head further back and tilted her mouth upwards as he pulled at his erection.

Hot semen splattered over her mouth and cheek but most he guided past her lips, over her tongue, filling her mouth. Then he slid back inside, slower, longer strokes now, forcing her to swallow his release.

When he pulled away, she was breathless, his taste on her tongue, her body burning for more.

He wiped the semen from her lips with his thumb and then walked away. A second later, she was lowered onto the plush rug below her on the floor. He turned her on her side so she wasn’t facedown and then he walked quietly away, leaving her bound, awaiting his attentions.

CHAPTER 23

The room was quiet. She had no idea where he’d went or even how long he’d been gone. She awaited the discomfort that would surely come from being bound in such a position, but in truth, she was comfortable on the soft rug.

What made her tense wasn’t discomfort. It was anticipation of when he’d return and how he’d take his pleasure this time.

When the footsteps sounded on the hardwood floor, a thrill rushed through her blood and hummed through her veins. Her body jerked a moment as she rose once more into the air and was suspended from the ceiling.

She spun in a slow, lazy circle before he put his hand on her leg to stop her progress.

“I wish you could see yourself as I see you.”

The first words slid over her skin like silk.

“Beautiful. Vulnerable. Open. Mine.”

The last word sent a tremble through her muscles.

His.

She loved the way it sounded. Loved the primal savagery that accompanied such a possessive statement. She was his possession. His woman. His to do with as he liked. Such power made her throat clutch.

He stepped between her splayed thighs. She was bound in such a way that her pussy was bared, thighs spread wide and legs doubled back and tied so she was unable to move even an inch.

He smoothed one hand over the curve of her ass, squeezing and caressing the plump flesh.

“Relax.”

The order was terse. He expected obedience. He was a patient man, but when he issued a command, he wanted immediate results.

She forced every muscle in her body to go limp.

She felt the probe of a large, blunt tip at her anal opening. She stretched around it before he pulled away and eased the pathway with lubricant. Then he pushed forward again and she tensed out of reflex.

He immediately stepped back and before she could even imagine what he meant to do, fire cracked over her ass, taking her breath away.

A crop. Just one pop, but it was enough to remind her of the consequences of inattention, no matter how brief.

Again she forced herself to relax and he began again, working the tip of the plug into her behind. He was gentle and in no hurry. He took his time until she was adequately stretched enough to push in the remainder of the plug.

She flinched and reared up, inadvertently causing herself to swing outward. Cole caught her, but instead of issuing another reprimand, he leaned down and kissed the center of her back.

“Shhh, darling. It will pass. Breathe and try to relax. Give it some time. I won’t rush you.”

His words more than anything calmed her and made her stop fighting the burn of the plug’s invasion. It was a large plug, larger than any she’d used in the past. But then he wasn’t a small man and if he planned to use her in that way, she’d need as much preparation as possible if he wasn’t going to hurt her in the process.

Sometimes she wanted the pain. She wanted to be taken without regard or consideration of her comfort. She wanted to be used, wanted to provide the ultimate pleasure for the man who owned her. But tonight, more than most, she felt more vulnerable, and while she wanted the hard, ruthless edges, she knew her limits weren’t quite as capable of being pushed as they normally were.

The gentleness mixed in with his dominance was what she most needed and wanted right now. He seemed so in tune with her emotions. Lucas had always told her a good dominant knew his submissive better than she knew even herself. He was right, and he and Cole both certainly seem to anticipate her needs before she was even able to articulate them to herself.

“All right now?” Cole asked as he caressed the small of her back.

She nodded, watching her hair bob below her as she hung from the ropes Cole had so intricately wrapped her in.

He stepped closer, running both hands over her ass before moving them lower to the backs of her thighs at the very top above where the rope was coiled around her legs. His fingers dug into her flesh and then she felt the hard probe of his cock.

In an instant he yanked her back at the same time he pushed forward. He was balls deep into her pussy, and she let out a hoarse yell at the shock of his invasion.

She was small, so much smaller now with the plug stuffed into her ass. Cole wasn’t a small man, but he felt enormous now inside her, stretching her, forcing her to accommodate him.

With her suspended by the ropes, he was able to move her freely, pulling her to meet every thrust. Then he held her immobile and began driving into her until her entire body shook with the force of his possession.

He curled his fingers around the ropes crossing her back and held on as he plunged into her over and over. Then he caught the ends of her hair and pulled until her head came up. He wrapped his fingers in the strands and continued to power into her.

She moaned when his hand drifted over the top of the plug buried in her ass. He toyed with the end, sending wicked sensations through her body. Then he began to ease it out, all the while making long, hard strokes with his cock.

Sweat broke out on her forehead and she bit her bottom lip to prevent herself from tumbling into oblivion. She wanted release. Needed to come so badly that she was afraid at the slightest touch, she’d break apart.

Then the plug slipped free and just as quickly, Cole withdrew from her pussy and then slid deep into her ass.

“Come, Ren,” he said in a harsh voice that told her just how close he was to his own release.

But she’d already begun to unravel the moment the bite of pain mixed with the heady pleasure of his possession had overtaken her. Her orgasm wasn’t a soft, ebbing tide but rather it was a tsunami that crashed over her at light speed.

She had no awareness other than sharp, unrelenting pleasure that seemed to become more explosive with each passing second.

The loud smack of flesh meeting flesh and her own staggered gasps filled her ears until it was all a roar she couldn’t distinguish.

The next thing she became aware of was being held in Cole’s arms. The rope was gone and he was gently rocking her back and forth, her head tucked beneath his chin.

He kissed her in between whispers, though she had no idea what he was saying. His hands slipped up and down her body, caressing and soothing. They were on the bed and it bewildered her that so much time had passed without her knowledge.

Without even realizing it, she wound her arms around Cole’s neck and turned her face further into his neck. He shifted her in his arms so she’d be more comfortable and then held her just as tightly.

“I missed you,” she whispered.

He stroked her hair and for a moment he didn’t speak. When he did, his voice cracked just a bit. Almost as if he’d had to take the time to compose himself to answer.

“I missed you too, darling Ren. So very much. I can’t tell you how much joy it brings me to have you back in my arms.”

She kissed his neck, inhaled his masculine scent, let it surround her and dance through her nostrils.

“I can’t let you go again,” he said in a voice so low she almost couldn’t hear him. “I won’t let you go.”

CHAPTER 24

Cole was awake early, as was his habit, but this morning he didn’t hurry to get out of bed. Today he awoke to a warm, soft body draped across his chest. Ren was sprawled over him, one leg curled over his and inserted between his knees. One arm was flung over his belly and her cheek rested against his chest.

He had his arms full of everything he’d ever wanted and he had no desire to end the moment. So he lay there, his arm wrapped around her body, stroking through her hair, listening to her breathe.

And he realized he’d never been happier than right here, right now. A month ago he would have said he was content. Satisfied. Or maybe it was that he was resigned.

He’d thought of Ren less and less as the years wore on. She had been relegated to his past. A part of a painful mistake he was forced to admit he’d made. Only when he’d seen her again, had he realized just how much he missed her presence in his life. How much he wanted her back. There was no possible way he could see someone ten years later and have that kind of reaction to if he wasn’t still seriously hung up on her.

Ten years was a damn long time. A lifetime for most. People did a hell of a lot of changing in a decade. He’d certainly changed. So had Ren. And yet in many ways they hadn’t.

The saying went that you couldn’t go back, but he could damn well go forward. With her.

He tilted his head down so he could kiss her forehead. She stirred and stretched sleepily before snuggling deeper into his embrace. He kissed her again simply because he couldn’t resist.

Her eyelids fluttered open and she settled her unfocused gaze on him.

“Mornin’,” she murmured.

“Morning.”

He wanted to turn her over and slide into the satiny clasp of her body. Wanted it more than he wanted to breathe. But he’d been rough on her the night before. He’d taken her many times and had used her hard. She was likely tender and he in no way wanted to cause her discomfort.

She pushed up on one elbow, her hair falling like a curtain onto his shoulder and over his chest. “I need to work this morning,” she said almost apologetically.

“Of course. I won’t interfere in your writing. I’ll come get you for lunch. Lucas said you have a bad habit of forgetting to eat.”

This time she didn’t seem to mind the mention of the other man in her life. He hoped in time she would become numb to hearing Lucas’s name.

She twisted her lips into a rueful smile. “Unfortunately he’s right. I tend to get caught up in things and let time get away from me. I’ve fallen asleep at my desk more than once.”

“Well, you have a few hours of work time before I haul you out for lunch.”

She grinned and leaned down to kiss him. “Deal.”

It felt odd to walk into the spacious room Cole had allocated as her work area. She was used to the study Lucas had set up for her. She was comfortable there. Knew where everything was. The furniture suited her. She even loved her desk.

Cole had certainly gone the extra mile to make her comfortable and he’d been exceedingly generous, but it was still new and unfamiliar.

Someone had unpacked all her things and had even arranged them, or had at least attempted the task. She began rearranging, needing the comfort of knowing things were where they should be and in order.

The first hour she spent putting her art supplies in order. By then she was itching to start creating so she settled at the desk and pulled out the leather-bound journal that had the first draft of her writing and her sketches.

Her process was likely more complicated than most, but it suited her and it gave her a measure of comfort. She always did preliminary sketches and the rough draft writing in the journal. When she was satisfied that she had things as she wanted, she then made hard copies that she’d eventually turn in to her publisher.

For each book she bought a different journal. She loved the feel of paper bound in leather. The pages had been faux weathered to give it a worn, aged look. And the cover was leather so worn and soft that she loved to caress it with her fingertips.

She was a very tactile person. She loved touch. Needed it. Lucas—and now Cole—gave her what she needed. They were openly affectionate with her. They seemed to need to touch her as much as she needed to be touched. Not every man she’d been with had been cognizant of her needs or perhaps they simply didn’t care to meet them.

But she found she suffered when she was denied close, personal contact. Which was contradictory given how closely she guarded her personal space and only trusted a few to get close enough to ever touch her.

She loved comfortable things, though. Shoes, furniture, journals. She surrounded herself with things that felt good and appealed to her senses.

But above all she needed and desired structure and routine.

She caressed the cover of the journal before opening it to the last page where she’d drawn the last sketch. Her pencils were in a cup to her right, colors in order of light to dark. As she reached for one to touch up a few lines in the picture, her cell phone signaled an incoming text.

Excitement surged through her. Lucas wasn’t much on texting. He much preferred direct communication, but she’d hoped that he’d at least contact her during the two weeks she was with Cole. Surely he would at least make sure she was happy.

She dug her phone out of the pocket of her jeans and opened the text. It was from her friend Savonna. She tried not to allow disappointment to eat at her. She shouldn’t even be thinking about Lucas.

Saw Lucas at club last night. Where were U?

For a long moment, Ren stared at the text, battling her reaction to it. Then, slowly, she blanked the screen and put the phone aside, not replying to the question. What could she say anyway? Lucas is moving on so he hooked me up with another guy. Yeah, like that wasn’t twisted.

It took all of her discipline not to text back and ask Savonna if Lucas had been there with another woman. The simple truth was there were some questions you didn’t want to know the answer to.

She picked up her pencil. A soft lavender she’d intended to touch up the morning sky over the lake in one of her drawings. It shook in her hand and doubt crowded into her mind despite her best effort not to dwell on Lucas.

Give yourself a break, Ren. No one in the world would be over a break up in a few days, no matter that they had this gorgeous, hunky, beautiful man to turn to.

But still she wished there was a switch that she could just flip and turn it all off. The doubt, the fear, the worry and the sadness.

The pencil dropped from clumsy fingers onto the open journal and the drawing of two young children sitting on a dock, feet in the water, watching as the sun rose higher in the sky.

Idly she turned back the pages, going back through the story, studying each of the drawings and the simple story of childhood in all its innocence.

Tears gathered as realization hit her. Maybe it had been in her subconscious all along but she’d never seen it until now. This was so much the story of her and Cole. Happier days. The sweetness of first love and the sadness that accompanied that first good-bye.

Even before she’d seen Cole again, she’d channeled those memories into this book. Perhaps it was her way of letting go. Only now he was back in her life. Why couldn’t she have met him again a year ago when she was coming off her relationship with Grant? There were no obstacles, no barriers, nothing at all to get in the way of their reunion.

She dropped her head as she slowly and carefully closed the journal. There would be no work done today. Instead she reached for her artist pad, opened it to a blank page and then chose the black charcoal pencil from the jar.

Cole checked his watch and then turned in the direction of the sunroom. He’d waited as long as possible. He hadn’t wanted to part with Ren even for a few hours to give her time to work. He’d busied himself with phone calls and catching up on e-mail, but his concentration was shot.

After sending an e-mail to the wrong person, he’d given up trying to go through the motions of work at all.

He paused at the doorway, watching as Ren bent over, pencil in hand, her face creased with concentration. Her bottom lip was sucked between her teeth and she scraped absently with her top teeth as she stared down at her creation.

She was dressed in nothing more fancy than a faded pair of blue jeans and a cropped white tank that bared a portion of her back where her tattoo snaked up her spine.

But the contrast of her dusky skin against the white of her shirt coupled with the jet black tresses of her hair made him want to peel her clothing right off her so he could run his hands and mouth over that beautiful flesh.

It was a hell of a note when a man’s life changed in the space of a few moments over a chance meeting. He wasn’t one to fight the inevitable, and he knew without a doubt that Ren was a big part of his future. The only part that mattered.

Nothing else in life had come easy to him. No reason this should either.

“Ren.”

He waited a moment and then realized she hadn’t heard him. She was hunched over her drawing, her hand moving in quick, jerky motions.

He walked toward her, curious as to what she was laboring so hard over. As he neared, he could see that the drawing was black and white and was of a woman sitting on a rock staring out to sea. On the right, immersed in an incoming wave was what appeared to be a sea serpent with long, jagged teeth. It should appear menacing, but there was simple beauty in the creature.

To the left, a dragon with wings outstretched was coming in to land atop a rolling wave. Both creatures were focused on the woman and yet she stared beyond them both, almost as if she wasn’t aware of their existence.

“Interesting,” he said over her shoulder.

She bolted upward, jerking around in her seat. Pencils scattered in every direction and the paper drifted to the floor.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. I called to you from the door but you didn’t hear me.”

For a moment she looked bewildered and then she surveyed the mess with a grimace.

“I’ll get them. Just sit for a minute,” he said.

He bent quickly to gather up the pencils, but when he went to put them back in the cup she wrested them from his hand and began sorting the colors, frowning in concentration as she manipulated them.

He studied her for a few seconds and then knelt to carefully pick up the drawing. When he rose, she took the paper and smoothed it over her desk, her fingers running lightly over the woman in the picture.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asked gently.

She tilted her head to look back up at him and smiled, her eyes a little clearer than they’d been a minute ago. “Yes, of course. I just get caught up in what I’m doing. I’m not the most aware person in the world. I didn’t mean to seem ungrateful for the help. I just like things a certain way.”

He smiled back at her. “You always did.”

She frowned pensively a moment. “I guess I did, didn’t I?”

Privately, Cole had always thought that she had borderline OCD. She wasn’t extreme but she did like things a certain way, in a certain order and she was always happiest when she was settled in a routine that she didn’t deviate from.

He’d known this about her early on and he had his own theories about why, but they’d been just that. Theories.

Her parents had been strict but at the same time, they were flighty, unorganized people. Morally, they were strict and they kept a very tight leash on Ren, seeking to protect her from “moral corruption.”

But in every other aspect of their lives, they’d lacked discipline and structure. There were no rules in the house. It was never tidy. They were habitually late for everything, a fact that pained Ren, who liked to be early and if she was late, she’d just as likely not even go.

It was another reason that Cole had been so afraid that he’d taken over Ren’s life and made her into something she wasn’t. He’d provided structure and discipline to a young girl who desperately wanted and needed both. He’d always been secretly afraid that she’d wake up one day and decide that he was just a crutch and nothing more.

Just another of the many mistakes he’d made as a young man. Why fate was giving him a second chance, he didn’t know, but he wasn’t looking a gift horse in the mouth.

“You ready for lunch? Thought we’d go for something casual.”

“Define casual.”

“As in what you’re wearing is just fine and it’s all purpose so you’re guaranteed to find something you’ll like on the menu.”

She smiled and hopped down from her stool. “Sounds good to me.”

He drew her into his arms, just wanting to hold her for a minute. She seemed a little …fragile. Maybe just a bit off today. There was something in her eyes that gave him pause.

She wrapped her slim arms around his waist and laid her head against his chest. She squeezed tight and he returned her affectionate hug, brushing his lips over the top of her glossy hair.

I love you. I’ve always loved you.

He wanted to say it so badly. The words burned his lips, but he held them back because it didn’t feel like the right time. He wasn’t sure when the right time was, but it wasn’t now.

He’d said it in a casual way before. Had said it in the past tense. Even mentioned that he loved the real Ren. But he hadn’t told her with all the depth of the emotion behind the statement. Maybe he wasn’t even sure himself. But the longer he spent with her, even though they’d only been together a few days, the more urgent the need to tell her.

She was warm and soft in his arms. Perfect. Not a fantasy. She was here. Real. And so perfect she made his gut ache.

“Come on, darling. Let’s go eat. It’s a beautiful day out. A little chilly so let’s grab your jacket.”

She drew away and then leaned up on tiptoe to kiss him. “Thank you.”

He threw her a puzzled look. “For what?”

She smiled a little sadly, her beautiful, soulful eyes finding his. “For being just right for me.”

CHAPTER 25

The weather was absolutely perfect. Just a hint of a nip in the air. Bright blue skies without a cloud in sight. No haze over the city. Dead leaves skittered across the paved drive as Cole ushered Ren out to the car. He loved that sound. Loved the smell of burning leaves even more.

Maybe tonight he and Ren could have a bonfire and sit out and watch the stars. Just the thought brought him back to nights back home in Tennessee. More than once, he’d taken Ren to the lake, built a fire, spread out a blanket and she’d lay her head on his lap while they counted fireflies.

He’d never considered himself a nostalgic person, but he found himself thinking more and more about the past without the negative filter. They’d had some good times. Really good times. For too long he hadn’t been able to get beyond his own mistakes to remember the best of his time with Ren.

He drove to Cattleman’s, a restaurant that was a regular haunt of his group of friends, Ren’s hand tucked securely into his the entire way.

It was a rustic-looking steak house that was a local favorite and the food was actually really good. And today he wanted Ren to relax. Casual environment. Laid back. He didn’t care as long as he got to spend time with her.

He zipped into the parking lot, got out and went around to open Ren’s door. As soon as she was out, he slid his arm around her waist, holding her solidly against him as they walked toward the restaurant entrance.

She flipped her head back, closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. Then she smiled and it lit up her whole face. “You’re right. It is absolutely beautiful today. I’m so glad I’m not spending it inside working.”

He dropped a kiss on her forehead. “No chance of that. I can’t be away from you for more than a couple of hours.”

They stepped inside and Cole waved to the bartender who jerked his thumb toward the back of the restaurant.

“Ah, good, my table is open,” Cole said as he guided her back.

Ren raised her eyebrows. “Your own table?”

“Well, sort of. I kind of share it with a few friends. Whoever happens to be in gets first dibs. It’s a little quieter. Out of the way and we get excellent service.”

“Sounds like you’re all spoiled,” she said with a grin.

He pulled out a chair for her and smacked her on the ass just before she sat. “You have no room to talk about anyone being spoiled.”

“That’s true,” she acknowledged as he took the seat across from her. “I’m not ashamed to admit I love being spoiled.”

“And I’m not ashamed to admit that I love spoiling you,” he added.

Her face flushed with delight and her eyes lit up. Yeah, it was good to get her out. He wasn’t entirely certain what had made her so melancholy earlier in the morning, but she seemed to have come around now.

“Now, what would you like to eat?”

She studied the menu and then sent him a soft smile. “You choose. You know what I like.”

He motioned for the waiter and ordered two steaks, medium, two salads and a side order of onion rings. At the mention of the onion rings, Ren’s head popped up and her eyes widened in surprise and then she grinned.

“Oh man, it’s been a long time since I’ve had onion rings. I’m surprised you remember.”

“There isn’t much I’ve forgotten about our time together, Ren,” he said softly. “There were parts I didn’t choose to remember, but being back with you has made me realize just how good we were together.”

She reached across the table to cover his hand with her own and she squeezed, surprising him with the affectionate gesture. “We were, weren’t we?”

He leaned forward, picking up her hand and raising it to his mouth so he could kiss the soft inside of her palm. “And as good as we were then, we’re even better now.”

“If I was having this conversation with anyone else but you, I’d think I’d lost my mind. The idea of even contemplating these things with a man I’ve only been with for a few days is just …Well, it’s crazy.”

He smiled because he understood her befuddlement. “But we haven’t only been together a few days and I’m not just any man.”

She nodded. “Exactly. Still, it just seems so …fast. And maybe too good to be true.”

He chuckled lightly. “Still the straightforward Ren I’ve always known.”

She shrugged. “I don’t know how to be anyone else. Maybe I’ve tried in the past, but that never seems to work out, you know? I’ve already decided that if I have to be someone else with a man, then I don’t need to be there.”

“And I’ve always maintained you were an extremely intelligent woman. But darling, it’s not too good to be true. It’s good, yes. But it’s real.”

“I know,” she whispered.

“So tell me how you came to be in Houston,” he said as he sat back in his chair. He had a much better view of her now and he liked looking at her. Liked knowing that at least for now she was his. His woman. His possession.

“Lucas,” she said by way of explanation. “We met in Vegas. He has a club here and maintains a residence here.”

Okay maybe that wasn’t the best question but now he’d opened that particular can of worms and hell, the man was a large part of her life and the reason that Ren was sitting in front of Cole now. He couldn’t be ignored even if it was what Cole most wanted.

“Then how’d you end up in Vegas?”

She made a face. “My last relationship. I sound like such a disaster, don’t I? Like I can’t make any decisions on my own and drift from man to man, following wherever they lead.”

The disgust in her voice was heavy and she shook her head even as she spoke.

“I didn’t live in Vegas. I was there with Grant for a pleasure trip.”

“Grant being the asshole you were involved with prior to Lucas,” Cole confirmed.

She nodded. “I met Grant in Los Angeles. I hadn’t been involved seriously with another man in two years. I dated but nothing heavy and definitely nothing that would lead to a full-time dominant submissive relationship.”

Cole sat forward a bit. “Okay, let me ask because now I’m curious. When you say full time. What do you mean exactly?”

She sighed. “I don’t trust easily, which probably sounds like bullshit to you. I probably come across as this naïve moron who trusts any man who seems authoritative in the least.”

“That’s not what I think at all.”

“I’ve had five relationships that I would call full-time, serious relationships where I readily gave up control to a man. Two of the five were you and Lucas. That leaves three in …hmmm …the last nine years since I’ve been with Lucas for the last year. Of the five, I’d say I only fully, unequivocally trusted you and Lucas. I’m not saying the two other than Grant were awful. They weren’t.”

Cole watched her closely, the consternation in her eyes and how fidgety she’d suddenly become. It was apparent she wasn’t comfortable discussing her past, but it was important to him to know what had happened in the ten years after he’d left her.

“But in between those steady relationships, I visited clubs, let off some steam, did a few scenes but I always hated it afterward because it felt so fake and put on.”

He stiffened as he imagined her in some dark ass dungeon club with a bunch of wannabe dudes in way too much leather and wielding whips and chains. Christ. Over his dead body would she ever venture into another one. The mere idea of what could have happened to her set his teeth on edge and made him weak in the knees.

She waved a hand airily. “Anyway, back to Vegas and how I got there. I was living in Los Angeles when I met Grant. I’d had a falling out with my parents after my last relationship because they dropped in unexpectedly to visit me. I lived in Nashville at the time. Let’s just say they saw more than a girl ever wants her parents to see. They were horrified. They called the cops and it was a huge mess to sort out and I was embarrassed as hell. Mom and Dad were mortified. I was mortified. The guy I was with was pissed because he spent the night at the police station while I explained to the cops that I was in a consensual relationship and I wasn’t being abused.”

“Jesus,” Cole muttered. He could well imagine how that had gone down with her parents.

“I needed a clean break and some distance. Mom and Dad, after their initial horror, were pissed and disapproving and that’s the mild word for it. I was basically told I was unwelcome in their home as long as I chose to live a life of sin and that if I didn’t change my ways, I was going straight to hell.”

“Nice,” Cole bit out.

She shrugged. “You know how they are, Cole. You better than anyone know how set they are in their opinions. The first time they ever saw my tattoo I thought my mom was going to blow a gasket. She actually called and made an appointment to have it removed.”

“Still, that couldn’t have been easy for you even knowing or expecting their condemnation,” he said quietly.

She went silent for a moment. “No, it wasn’t. At first I thought I’d just give them some time. Make a clean break. Let emotions die down and then I’d contact them again.”

“Did you?”

“No. I got out to L.A. and I could use the excuse that I was busy or that I was involved with my own life, but the simple truth is I was scared—I’m still scared—that if I contact them again or actually go see them, that I’ll get that door slammed in my face and I’m not sure I could handle that. Thinking or assuming that it’ll happen is far different from the cold reality of seeing it.”

“I understand,” Cole said. “Still, maybe …”

She nodded. “Yeah, I know. I keep saying maybe. Maybe one day. Perhaps one day I will. But then I got involved with Grant and maybe in the back of my mind I thought that they were right about me because I was so miserable with him and nothing was right about my relationship with him. I just couldn’t face their judgment because a small part of me wondered if they’d been right about me all along and I had sprung from some mutant gene pool.”

Cole scowled, feeling the hot edge of anger tear through him. “And do you still feel that way?”

“No. It’s the way I felt then, but you have to understand I was a wreck and I over-dramatized everything. So to get back to the point of all this, Grant wanted to go out to Vegas for a weekend. I didn’t really want to go anywhere with him but I was still clinging to the idea that I owed him my loyalty and my obedience. I was stupid, but there you have it. I went and it was the worst weekend of my life.”

Cole’s eyebrow went up. He wanted to press. He wanted to know in exacting detail precisely what happened and he didn’t want anything left out. Lucas had covered part of it, but it had been vague. Ren had hinted at the things that Grant had done but Cole wanted hard facts because then he wanted to go kick the ever-loving shit out of the asshole.

“What did he do to you, Ren,” he asked softly.

They were interrupted by the waiter bringing their food. Ren looked relieved, but Cole wasn’t going to let it drop. He was a patient man, and this was key information.

He waited until she’d received her food and the waiter disappeared.

“Ren?” he prompted.

She set her fork down and her lips turned down into an unhappy moue. “This is so embarrassing. It sounds like something out of a frat party instead of a thirty-something man with a reasonable amount of intelligence.”

Cole pursed his lips. “I’d say you’re being generous on the intelligence factor, but continue.”

“He wanted to demonstrate his authority over me in a very public way. He was cruel and he humiliated me at every turn. If that wasn’t enough, he also wanted to have a veritable orgy in his hotel room. An orgy he wanted me to participate in. I’m as kinky as the next person but my tastes just don’t run to women. He fucked their brains out but I had no desire to join in. All the while he taunted me with how much of a woman they were and how much better they were at following instructions, blah blah. Well duh, he was paying them a hell of a lot of money.”

“Son of a bitch,” Cole bit out. “Did he hurt you, Ren? Physically, I mean?”

She shook her head. “I can take care of myself, though that’s probably hard for you to believe. I was appalled at myself for putting up with his shit for as long as I did. I don’t even know why I did. He was there, he was comfortable—for a while—and I didn’t feel quite so alone when I was with him. At first anyway. After a while I think I felt even lonelier when I was with him simply because I knew the relationship was a disaster.”

She waved her hand again and shook her head. “Anyway, to make a long story short, I packed my shit and got my own hotel room. The next night I went to a club because I love music and I love to dance and I just wanted to lose myself for a while. I didn’t want to have to think or feel. The very last thing I wanted was to hook up with another guy, but I met Lucas and I’m still not sure what happened exactly. He took me home with him and I’ve been with him ever since.”

There was a hell of a lot she was glossing over. He let her eat and he concentrated on his own food for a while before he gently turned the conversation back to Lucas.

Ren sighed. “I used him. At first, I mean. He knew it. I knew it. He didn’t seem to mind and I was honest with him. But he helped me pick up the pieces and he gave me back something that I’d been missing since the whole incident with Mom and Dad in Nashville. He gave me back myself. My confidence. My sense of identity and he let me know it was okay to be me and he refused to let me apologize for who I was or what I wanted.”

He wanted to hate the bastard. He really did. But damn it, he’d taken care of Ren when she needed it the most. How could he hold that against Lucas? If it weren’t for Lucas she might still be out in L.A. or Vegas or stuck in some horrible relationship with some bastard who didn’t treat her like the treasure she was.

The thought made him ill. The idea that he owed Lucas a hell of a lot of gratitude made him more ill at ease. He wasn’t even going to get into what he owed Lucas for these two weeks because he was going to be a complete bastard and fight for Ren with everything he had.

“The really bad thing was that before Grant and before that mess with Mom and Dad, I was perfectly comfortable in my skin. So it wasn’t like I didn’t know how to be okay with who I was or that I lacked self-confidence. I just lost it for a while and I had to find it again. In some ways I think I would have been more forgiving if I’d always been insecure and uncertain.”

The self-condemnation in her voice made him ache. “You’re being too hard on yourself, darling. You didn’t lose yourself for long and despite what you may tell yourself, there is no way you’ll ever make me believe that you wouldn’t have eventually gotten it all back without Lucas. I’m sure he helped and I’m glad he was there at a time you needed him. But I know you. You may have had a setback but no way would you have remained that shell of yourself for long.”

Her smile was more crooked this time. She perched her elbow on the table and cupped her chin in her palm as she stared over at him.

“You’re very good for my ego, Cole Madison.”

“And you’re just good for me, Ren Michaels.”

Her mischievous grin was back and her cheek dimpled as her smile broadened. Some of the fire was back in her eyes and they twinkled with silent laughter.

“Let’s go do something fun.”

“Like?”

Her grin deepened. “Oh, I don’t know. You’re pretty handy with rope.”

He threw back his head and laughed. “Let’s get out of here. I’m sure I’ll think of something we can do.”

She frowned as he rose from his chair. “What about the check?”

He held out his hand to help her up. “On my tab.”

She wiped her hands and then slipped her fingers around his, allowing him to pull her to her feet. He kept hold as they made their way to the front. At the door he stopped long enough to help her into her light jacket and then they stepped outside.

He started ahead of her when she suddenly pounced on him from behind. She scaled his back and wrapped her arms around his neck, giggling close to his ear.

In retaliation, he spun her around until she laughed and begged him to stop before she upchucked her lunch. He gripped her underneath her knees, hoisted her higher and took off toward the car.

She bounced and laughed the entire way and he grinned, letting her happiness wash over him like the sun. They probably looked like idiots, but he didn’t give a damn. He’d give just about anything to hear her laugh so freely.

They were nearly to his car when a silver Mercedes pulled into the parking spot in front of them. Cole halted in his tracks when Lucas stepped out of the car. His cool gaze slid over Cole and Ren and then he looked beyond them toward the restaurant entrance.

Ren went completely still. So silent he couldn’t even hear her breathe.

Without a word, Lucas walked past them. No acknowledgment. Not a single word of greeting. Ren’s intake of breath was sharp in Cole’s ear. Her distress radiated in waves and Cole bit back a string of curses before they could escape his lips.

CHAPTER 26

For the space of a moment, Ren’s gaze locked with Lucas’s. She went still against Cole and her heart leapt into her throat. Then Lucas looked past her. No acknowledgment. She could have been a stranger on the street.

He walked by. She turned but he didn’t look back. Coldness crept through her body until she was numb with it. She let herself slide from Cole’s back and would have ended up on her knees on the hard, cracked pavement of the parking lot if Cole hadn’t caught her.

“Come, Ren,” Cole said, his voice quiet and soothing in her ear. But firm. She didn’t even think of disobeying as he gently helped her to her feet and guided her toward his car.

She looked back again, though she hated the weakness that made her do it. Lucas had disappeared into the restaurant. What was he doing here? They’d never come here together. She’d never been here even once until today when Cole had brought her for lunch.

How could he look through her like she was nothing?

She hastily wiped her burning eyes, determined that she wouldn’t let Cole see what her encounter—or non-encounter—with Lucas had done to her. Then she nearly laughed because there was no hiding her devastation.

“How could he?” she choked out as Cole closed his door, sealing them into the interior of his car. “Oh God, Cole, how could he just walk by me like that?”

Cole had no answer. He merely started the engine and backed out of his space before roaring out of the lot. The drive home was silent and tense. Cole stared straight ahead, his jaw tight. He looked …angry. At her?

Her reaction had not only been undisciplined and disloyal—to Cole—but it had also been a slap in his face. She couldn’t blame him if he wanted nothing more to do with her.

She turned to stare out the window as she felt the betraying slide of tears down her cheeks. Even as she wiped them with her palm, more dampness replaced what she took away.

She hated herself for caring. She had Cole. Cole who adored her. Cole who would do anything to make her happy. And yet she’d allowed Lucas to hurt her and in doing so, she’d betrayed her agreement with Cole.

Caught between two men. Belonging to both and yet to neither. It was the most horrible place she could ever imagine.

When they arrived back at Cole’s house, she opened her door as soon as the car stopped and fled toward the house. She couldn’t bear to face Cole. Couldn’t bear the disappointment in his eyes—or the anger.

At first she wasn’t sure where she should go. She had no real identity in this big house, as roomy and as comfortable as it was. It was Cole’s home. Not hers. But her belongings were in Cole’s bedroom. In his closet.

She hurried up the stairs and burst into his bedroom, her misery growing with each passing second. She was almost to the closet when she realized that nothing here was hers.

She backed to the bed and sank onto the edge. Her head went down and she closed her eyes. Cole had bought everything she wore. He’d refused the things that Lucas had purchased for her. Hadn’t wanted another man providing for her during his time of ownership.

All that was hers was her writing and art supplies.

She wrapped her arms around herself and hugged, trying to ward off the bone-deep chill. It shouldn’t matter. She kept telling herself it shouldn’t. But it did and no amount of lying to herself would change that fact.

She loved Lucas. She loved Cole.

She tensed when she heard Cole enter the room. She kept her eyes tightly shut and her head bowed because she couldn’t face his judgment.

Silence descended. So heavy and weighted that it felt oppressive. And then.

“Look at me, goddamn it.”

Her head snapped up and she met the full fury of his gaze. Oh God, she couldn’t do this. She couldn’t.

“Don’t you dare look away from me,” he said when she started to lower her head again.

His eyes blazed. A fiery blue that sent a shockwave through her numbness.

“I’ve been too soft. Lucas was right. That’s not what you need. No coddling. On your knees, Ren. Don’t make me tell you twice.”

She scrambled off the bed, bewildered and clumsy as she went to her knees on the carpet at the foot of his bed.

“Who owns you?” he snapped.

“You,” she uttered softly.

“I can’t hear you.”

“You,” she said louder.

“Who protects you?”

“You.”

“Who takes care of you?”

“You.”

“Who loves you, Ren?”

Her mouth opened but nothing came out. Her eyes swam with those damn tears again and a sob knotted in her throat.

“Look at me,” he barked.

Slowly she raised her tearful gaze back to him but what she saw shocked her. There was no anger. Not at her. His eyes burned bright with …love. And understanding.

His lips were drawn into a thin, determined line. It amazed her that he could be so furious and yet look at her with such tenderness.

“Did you honest to God think I’d be angry with you for being human?” he asked hoarsely. “That I’d punish you because that son of a bitch hurt you? Goddamn it, Ren. What must you think of me?”

She had no response. What could she say? Her hands shook. Her entire body trembled.

Slowly he went to his knees in front of her, until they were eye level. Then he simply opened his arms and she launched herself forward, wrapping herself around him as tightly as she could.

For several long minutes he stroked her hair and simply held her while she sobbed into his neck. She hated doing this. Hated that she was breaking apart in front of Cole. But she also realized there wasn’t another man—apart from Lucas—that she’d ever trusted enough to be this vulnerable in front of.

Exhausted by the spent energy and emotion, she lay limply against Cole until finally he pulled her gently away. He stroked his finger down one damp cheek. And then he asked her again in a low, husky voice.

“Who loves you, Ren?”

“You,” she whispered.

Satisfaction glinted in his eyes. Then he rose, pulling her with him. The authority was back in his demeanor and expression. He gave her a look that brooked no argument.

“Pack a bag for several days. Make sure you have swimwear and suitable clothing for much warmer weather. If there’s anything you’re missing, let me know and I’ll send out for it.”

Her brow furrowed. “Where are we going?”

He lifted one eyebrow at her daring and she was reminded once again that Cole was never a man to cross. Ever.

“Do as I said. Provide me a list of anything you need within the hour. I’ll be very displeased if we get to our destination and you don’t have adequate clothing.”

She nodded, though her knees still shook and her legs were weak enough that she worried about being able to walk the distance to the closet.

He turned and walked crisply away, leaving her alone in the vast emptiness of his huge bedroom.

CHAPTER 27

Ren arched her face into the bright sunshine as they disembarked the small jet. Salt air danced through her nostrils and in the distance she could see the emerald splash of the Caribbean.

Cole motioned to one of the stewards who immediately piled their luggage on a cart. Cole then slid an arm around Ren’s waist and ushered her toward a waiting car.

He hadn’t said a word about his plans. Ren had obediently given him a list of things she’d need for swimming and a warmer climate and he’d arranged for everything she could possibly need to be delivered within a few hours.

Then he’d spirited her to the airport where Damon’s jet awaited and they’d flown here to an island. What island she had no idea. A tingle of excitement jittered over her body as the car pulled away and the ocean view got bigger through the windshield.

“Where are we staying?” she asked, unable to keep the excitement from her voice.

Cole’s smile was indulgent. He absently rubbed his fingers up and down her upper arm as she leaned into the curve of his arm.

“You’ll see.”

She wanted to huff but that would only earn her one of his looks. And the promise of retribution later. It was obvious he wanted to surprise her and she was determined not to ruin it by being a brat.

She settled back into the seat and snuggled deeper into his side. His arm tightened around her and his lips brushed across her hair.

“If we had more time, I’d pull you onto my lap and fuck you right here in the backseat,” he murmured.

Her mouth went dry and then she leaned back and stared accusingly at him.

“You did that on purpose.”

He grinned. “Maybe.”

She sighed. “You’re an evil, evil man. Would serve you right if I fucked your brains out right here and now.”

He snorted. “Is that a threat? Am I supposed to be contrite and promise to be a good boy now? Because it’s so not happening if that’s my punishment.”

She stared darkly at him. She opened her mouth to retort when the car slowed and she faltered. Cole pulled her against him to steady her and she turned to look out the window.

They were at a marina. The smell of fish was strong as was the salty air. Boats dotted the water, some small and some really huge.

Cole got out and then reached back for her hand. She clambered out and stared at the array of vessels and the expanse of jewel-toned water that spread out as far as the eye could see.

The driver began unpacking the luggage from the trunk and Cole motioned her toward the pier that jutted over the water. At the very end, a large yacht was stationed with the steps lowered to the wooden walkway. Cole stepped aside and gestured for Ren to board.

“I’ll be right behind you. Watch your step,” he cautioned.

At the top, a man about Cole’s age dressed in white shorts, a polo shirt and wearing what looked like a captain’s hat appeared and offered Ren his hand as she got closer.

“Welcome aboard,” he said in slightly accented English.

She stepped over the side and Cole followed. He shook the captain’s hand.

“You must be Cole Madison. I’m Captain Mike. I’ll be at your service for the next several days.”

Ren stared agape at the deck. Toward the back there was a large hot tub, several lounge chairs and a couch, mini bar, grill and a Ping-Pong table.

“I plan to kick your ass later,” Cole said, following her gaze to the table.

“Ping-Pong?” she asked with a laugh.

“Yeah, and if you hit the balls overboard, you have to go in after them.”

She laughed harder and followed him to the doorway leading to the interior. They were shown into a luxurious bedroom and a moment later, their luggage was brought in.

“If you’d like to change into something more appropriate …say a bikini, the captain has said we’ll leave dock in just a few minutes.”

“A bikini, huh.”

He grinned. “Absolutely. The fewer clothes you wear for the next several days, the happier I’ll be.”

“How did you arrange this?” she asked, looking around, still stunned by the sheer opulence of the yacht. Cole was a wealthy man, yes, but this wealthy?

“Connections,” he said smugly. “It always pays to have friends in high places.”

She went into his arms and hugged him tightly. “Thank you. I’m so excited I can’t see straight.”

He returned her hug and held on to her for a long moment.

“We’re going to anchor off a small private island. You can swim right off the boat or we can boat into shore and laze on the beach or we can sunbathe right here on deck. Whatever your whim is, I’m here to fulfill it.”

She pulled away and shook her head. “Sometimes I tell myself you can’t possibly be real.”

“Bet you won’t say that with my dick inside you later,” he said in a silky voice.

She shivered and goose bumps prickled across her arms.

He smiled and then leaned in to kiss her. “Get changed. Meet me topside.”

When Ren stepped back onto the deck, she didn’t see Cole anywhere. Assuming he was with the captain, she walked gingerly across the deck but quickly realized she wasn’t going to take a tumble.

Gaining more confidence she went to the rail, gripping it tightly as she stared over the ocean. It was like looking over a lake on a calm day. The only ripples were caused by the yacht as it plowed through the water. And it was so brilliantly blue that it hurt her eyes to look at it.

After a moment, she relaxed and rested her forearms on the side so she could lean forward. The breeze whipped at her hair and she vaguely thought she should have put it up.

A few days on the water with nothing more pressing to do than soak up the sun? Heaven.

A firm hand slid over her bare ass and remained there, caressing boldly. “Oh I like,” Cole murmured as he fingered the string of her thong. “So easily accessible. The question I ponder is whether I should take your pussy or your ass. This position is ideal for either.”

Shock thrilled through her veins and she started to rise but Cole’s hand pressed down on the small of her back.

“Oh no, stay right where you are, darling.”

She heard him unzip his jeans. He hadn’t changed into swim or loungewear.

Was he really going to fuck her right here on deck where anyone could see them? Not that there were many people. So far she’d only seen the captain but wasn’t there usually a steward? And could the captain see them from wherever he was piloting the boat?

She had no further time to contemplate the what-ifs. Cole spread her ass cheeks and his cock nudged impatiently at her pussy. As soon as he fitted the head to her opening he shoved forward, seating himself deeply within her body.

She gripped the rail to brace herself as the force of his possession sent her forward. Already she was teetering on the verge of orgasm. The excitement of him taking her right here in the open had her on edge. And he was big inside her. She was tight around him. She hadn’t been fully prepared for his entry and she gripped him like a fist.

He was relentless, not giving her time to adjust. He too seemed to like the tightness. His fingers dug into her ass and he made low noises of satisfaction as he drove into her.

“I wonder if you have any idea how fucking sexy you are,” he growled. He pressed in close, his body flush against hers, his mouth hovering just over her ear. He buried himself in her flesh, gripped her hips, held her in place and fucked her some more.

“When I came on deck and saw you standing here against the rail, wearing just that thong and a bikini top that barely covers your nipples, I damn near swallowed my tongue.”

She closed her eyes, leaning back into his chest, entranced by his words of praise.

“Your legs are spectacular. You’re lean but curvy in all the right places, and your skin, my God, your skin. It reminds me of twilight, dusky and creamy, soft and so goddamn beautiful. And your hair. I have the most perverted fantasies about wrapping my cock up in your hair and coming all over it.”

Her breath hitched and caught. Her fingers tightened around the rail until they were white and bloodless at the tips. It fascinated her that both he and Lucas loved her Korean features. Not just accepted but found her exceptionally beautiful and celebrated the traits that marked her Asian heritage.

Like Cole, Lucas loved her skin and her hair. Loved the lilt of her eyes and the unusual mix of brown and green.

Lucas was a match to her dark hair and skin. Cole was her opposite. Light to her dark, his hair a muddy blond, his eyes blue and piercing where Lucas’s were dark and sometimes menacing. Not that Cole was all sweetness. He could be as formidable as Lucas but perhaps it was more incongruous on him.

In her most secret fantasies, she wondered at what a child of hers and Cole’s would look like.

“Am I boring you, Ren?” Cole asked menacingly. He bit into the column of her neck, inciting a yelp from her. He slapped her ass with a stinging blow that had her immediate attention.

“What the fuck is your problem? You’re zoning out. Does my dick not interest you? Should I ram it up your ass? Will that get your attention?”

He pulled out of her, wrapped his arm around her waist and jerked her back from the railing. He pushed her roughly to her knees, his hand wrapped in her hair.

“If you aren’t enjoying my attentions, you’ll at least see to my pleasure.”

The blunt head of his dick bumped against her lips. She opened her mouth, not even trying to defend herself. He was right. She’d given him the ultimate disrespect when he was giving her nothing but the best.

He slid to the back of her throat and stayed there several long seconds, until her eyes watered and her throat convulsed. Only then did he let off and allow her to catch her breath.

His hand wrapped tighter in her hair and he pulled her head up, angling her jaw so that his entry was better. Then he pushed in again and began fucking her mouth with long, ruthless strokes.

“Kneel there and take it,” he gritted out. “Make it easier on yourself, Ren. Don’t fight me.”

No, she wouldn’t. Later, she’d fight because she remembered the turn-on for them both when she resisted and he subdued her, forcing her to his will. It was a practice she’d never dared with another man. Not even Lucas. She’d always been afraid of what would happen if her partner went too far, got too caught up in the act.

But Cole wouldn’t hurt her. Had never hurt her. No matter what he thought or felt guilt for.

Would he remember pinning her down, her being helpless and him slaking his lust? Would it still be a source of arousal for him?

It hadn’t come to her until now. A sharp memory brought on by his command for her not to fight. Was he even now telling her the opposite?

No, he looked too pissed. Too firm. Far too disapproving. He wouldn’t be playing a game now. He wanted to punish her and she’d take it because it was what she deserved.

His other hand slid over her cheek, over her ear and into her hair on the other side. He gripped her head with both palms and held her in place as he fucked her noisily. The wet sucking sounds, mixed with her gag, filled her ears.

Her body was electrified. Her nipples hardened painfully. Her pussy spasmed as sharp pleasure coiled in her pelvis and spread through her stomach.

His control and dominance over her aroused her in a way she could never hope to explain. She simply couldn’t describe the euphoria that accompanied the bite of discipline. She panted around his cock, so far gone that she was barely cognizant of her surroundings.

But then his voice. Like a whip. Cutting through the haze.

“Tell me, Captain, is she not the most beautiful sight you’ve seen? There’s something about a woman swallowing a man’s dick that fires the senses.”

Her eyes flew open and her gaze locked on the captain standing a short distance away, the bulge between his legs evident even at such a distance. To his side stood another young man, his gaze raking over Ren as Cole shoved his cock farther down her throat.

Her entire body trembled and fire swept through her veins. Oh God, she was going to come and there wasn’t a damn thing she could do about it.

She closed her eyes, trying to ward it off but it pooled in her groin and tightened unbearably. She let out a cry around Cole’s erection and then went utterly senseless as her orgasm lashed her like the slap of a leather crop.

Just as suddenly her mouth filled with semen. She choked at first but his fingers wrapped cruelly around her jaw and she heard his warning from a distance, breaking the fog that surrounded her.

“Don’t you fucking spill a drop. Hold it in your mouth. Don’t swallow. And don’t lose a drop.”

She was smart enough to obey even though she was completely undone by the sheer power of the moment.

He jerked at his cock, coaxing every bit of his release onto her tongue. Then he thrust again, sliding deep, coating his cock with the cum in her mouth.

“Tighten your lips and clean every bit off my dick as I pull out.”

She did as he ordered and he slowly dragged his cock over her lips, coming away from her mouth as clean as she could manage.

“Now let them see,” he said. “Let it slide over your lips and down your chin. Make them imagine that they just came all over your pretty mouth.”

She relinquished her hold on the warm liquid and allowed it to seep over her lips and down her chin until it dripped to the deck below.

“Goddamn,” the second man, the one she guessed was the steward, said in a hoarse voice. “Fucking amazing.”

“Yeah, she is,” Cole said, his voice tight with pride. “And she’s mine.”

The captain turned as if to go, but Cole stopped him.

“Gentlemen, if you don’t mind. I have a punishment to mete out. I’d like you to stay and observe.”

CHAPTER 28

Captain Mike nodded his head. “As you wish, sir.”

Cole looked in C.J.’s direction. The young steward looked like he’d swallowed his tongue and a little like he was in love. Ren had that effect on men. Who could possibly resist a beautiful, willing, submissive woman who made the art of submission look elegant and spiritual.

Ren’s calm acceptance of Cole’s demands awed the other two men. By the time he was through with her punishment, she’d make slaves of both the other men, which amused Cole since she was the submissive. But then, wasn’t he himself an absolute slave to her every want and need?

She had all the power in this relationship. She had the ability to break him or make him the happiest man in the world. He had control because she gave it and for no other reason. She reveled in it and she was so damn beautiful that his teeth ached.

“Your belt, please,” he said calmly to Captain Mike. Then he looked to C.J. “I assume you have an oar of some type? It must be a smooth piece of wood. Coated and treated with no possibility of splinters.”

“I have a decorative oar, or rather the c-captain does,” C.J. stammered. He looked apologetically in Captain Mike’s direction. “That is, if you don’t mind, sir. The one on your wall is a perfect size.”

Cole stifled his smile. The young man looked so eager to witness what came next that he seemed afraid that if he didn’t proffer the perfect piece of equipment that there would be no punishment.

Mike nodded. “Fetch it.”

Cole decided to tease them a bit and up the stakes. He waited patiently, Ren on her knees in front of him the entire time, his cum still smeared on her face, until C.J. hurried back with the small oar.

He handed it to Cole and Cole inspected it, turning it over and over, feeling for any sharp edges, splinters in the wood or any grooves that would hurt Ren more than necessary.

Then he lowered the oar to his side as Mike handed him the belt he’d been wearing. He turned his attention to Ren, staring down at her upturned face.

“You’ll take your punishment and if you make a single sound, you’ll suck the cocks of both men while I fuck you from behind. And I won’t be easy, Ren. I’ll fuck your ass and I won’t be nice and prepare you.”

C.J.’s mouth fell open and he shifted in agitation but nothing he did could hide the bulging erection he sported.

“On your feet.”

She rose, faltered and then regained her footing. He put a gentle hand to her elbow so she didn’t fall and then guided her toward the railing where he’d fucked her just minutes ago.

“Hands on the rail. Chin up. Legs apart. If you make a single sound, I’ll make good on my threat.”

Mike and C.J. closed in and stood to the side. C.J.’s eyes were wide but Mike’s glittered with lust. Cole knew he was hoping like hell that Ren broke. Cole knew better.

“No lashes to count, Ren. I haven’t decided how many. I’ll quit when I’m satisfied with how your sweet little ass looks. And then I’ll probably fuck you, provided you don’t lose your discipline first. If that happens, I’m afraid your pretty mouth is going to get quite the work out.”

She trembled underneath his touch and he couldn’t discern whether it was in anticipation of the punishment or perhaps because she was turned on by the idea of sucking the two men’s cocks. Regardless, it was all in her hands.

He chose to use the belt first. He handed back the oar to C.J., who took it eagerly, his face flushed with excitement. Cole carefully doubled over the wide leather belt and gave it an experimental pop.

Ren flinched and he smiled.

The first lash was one of the hardest for her not to react to. He knew it and made it purposely sharp. The two men watching leaned forward in anticipation of hearing a sound escape Ren’s lips.

The second, she showed more restraint and took it stoically as she did the third and the fourth. And the next several. But then it became a test of her endurance as he continued to stripe her buttocks, working over the entire area so he didn’t strike the same place two times in succession.

He worked below her buttocks to the undersides of her legs but he didn’t venture above her ass to the small of her back. Ren was especially sensitive in that area and he made it a point never to strike her there.

C.J. looked near desperation by the time Cole discarded the belt and reached for the oar. Mike just looked pissed. Cole gave her a moment to gather herself. The purpose wasn’t to break her down or cause her so much pain that she lost sight of her purpose. And because he knew her so well, by the time the last blow from the oar fell, she would be so near to orgasm that it would take little effort on his part to send her spiraling into the abyss.

He smacked the oar over one cheek, making the globe shake delectably. She jumped but still, not a sound escaped those disciplined lips. Pride swelled deep inside Cole. She’d rather die than show him the disrespect of disobeying a direct order. If indeed she broke and uttered a sound, he would have pushed her too far.

Her ass was delightfully red. Glowing with the marks of the belt and now the wood. He hadn’t struck her hard enough to leave bruises or break the skin, but her ass would be red for hours and the welts would be visible equally as long. Which is why she wasn’t going to cover that delectable little behind for the rest of the day. He wanted to see his mark on her. He’d probably fuck her senseless as many times as he could get it up until he wore them both out. That’s what she did to him. Made him ache from the inside out.

C.J. was nearly beside himself, clearly agitated that Ren hadn’t broken. There was grudging respect in Mike’s eyes. His gaze grew more tender with each blow that fell on Ren’s ass. His lust had turned to something else. He looked as though he wanted nothing more than to gather Ren in his arms and offer comfort—and perhaps praise.

Cole let the oar slide from his fingers. It hit the deck with a clatter and Ren’s shoulders slumped forward. His hands glided over the swell of her ass, red and marked. So very beautiful.

His own cock was about to burst out of his jeans again, so he well understood Mike and C.J.’s frustration. With clumsy fingers, he unzipped his fly, pulled out his cock and pushed into Ren, feeling the warm snugness of her pussy swallow him whole.

She fluttered wildly around him, already in the throes of her orgasm. She threw her head back and he leaned into her, wrapping his arms around her, holding her against his chest as he murmured words of praise in her ear.

“It’s okay now, Ren,” he murmured. “Darling, Ren. Let me hear your pleasure. It’s okay now.”

She moaned softly and then louder. His words seemed to catapult her even further over the edge. She went liquid around him. Hot satin, flowing over his cock, stroking him so intimately that he could feel it in his soul.

“Cole,” she whispered. His name was like the sweetest of endearments falling from her lips. It sent a thrill coursing through his veins. Like a drug. One he couldn’t get enough of.

His name. No one else’s. Her acceptance of his ownership.

He cupped her breasts, rubbing his thumbs over her tight nipples. Then remembering her account of the night at the club with Lucas, he turned her away from the railing until she faced Mike and C.J. He was still buried deep inside her but he’d stilled, wanting to ward off his orgasm so he could bring her to release again.

“Touch her,” he said hoarsely. “Touch her but be gentle.”

C.J. fell to his knees, his eyes so dark with lust that Cole wondered if he’d already come in his pants. His hands trembled as he reached tentatively to touch her breasts. Then he glanced up at Cole as if seeking permission for more.

Cole nodded. “Touch her any way you like. With your hands, your mouth. But don’t hurt her. You’ll show her the respect she’s earned. I want her to enjoy every minute.”

As soon as C.J.’s mouth closed around her nipple, she moaned and stiffened. Her pussy tightened around Cole’s cock and he moaned along with her.

Mike forewent her body and angled in from the side, his hand cupping Ren’s face just before he kissed her. It was a savage kiss, like he meant to devour her. It was an odd sensation to have another man kissing his woman so passionately while Cole was fucking her from behind, but he was unbelievably aroused and so was Ren, judging by her frantic movements and the sudden wetness around his cock.

Wanting her to have as much pleasure as he himself was finding, he slid out of her body. At first C.J. pulled back and even Mike took a step away, as if assuming that Cole was calling an end.

But Cole merely repositioned himself at her ass, spread her a little further so the angle was adjusted and then he carefully began to work himself inside her.

He hadn’t used any lubricant and he knew her wetness wasn’t enough to make it bearable. He wanted that fine line between pain and pleasure. He didn’t want to hurt her too badly, so he patiently worked at getting inside her.

Some pain was good. He wanted that edge. He wanted to feel her reject his cock and press forward anyway. She would want it too.

“I have oil,” Mike said gruffly. “Suntan oil. It’s here in one of the compartments.”

Cole smiled. Already Ren had made another conquest. As much as Mike had wanted to witness her punishment, he now couldn’t bear the thought of her being hurt.

He gathered Ren’s hair in his hand and pulled slightly back. “Tell him, Ren. Tell him how you want it. Do you want it easy? All slicked up so I glide right into your sweet little ass? Or do you want that bite? Do you want to fight my invasion and have me force your surrender? Tell him so he knows.”

He could just see the glitter in Ren’s eyes from the angle he looked down on her face. Her face was suffused in color and heat and so much anticipation. She had a drugged look and her lips were swollen from another man’s kiss. It made him want to savage her mouth, to replace Mike’s mark with his own. But he’d sworn this would be about Ren’s pleasure now that she’d withstood her punishment.

“I want the pain,” she said hoarsely. “I want it hard.”

Cole’s hands moved down to her hips until he gripped her hard, giving her nowhere to move to, no way to fend off what was coming. Then he thrust hard. “Like this?”

She shuddered and convulsed around him, pinned to his body, helpless. “Oh God, yes. Just like that.”

“Then stand there and take it. Tell your men to touch you while the one who owns you fucks your ass.”

“Touch me,” she pleaded, her gaze finding Mike and C.J. once more.

C.J. needed no urging. As before, he dropped to his knees and cupped both breasts in his hands. He looked like a kid in a candy store. His mouth closed around one nipple and the wet sucking sounds he made spurred Cole on.

Mike took her mouth again, but this time he slipped his hand between Ren’s thighs.

“That’s it,” Cole said in approval. “Give her what she needs. Use your hands to show her what two cocks feel like.”

Then to Ren, “Tell me what it feels like, baby. Are his hands inside you? Are his fingers long and thick like my cock? How does C.J.’s mouth feel on your nipples? Are you wishing that I’d let them fuck you? What if I let them take you right here on the deck while I watched? What if they fucked you so long and hard that you couldn’t walk tomorrow?”

She let out a cry and he knew she was gone.

“Son of a bitch,” Mike murmured as he reclaimed her mouth. “She’s coming all over my hand.”

C.J.’s hands slipped around to the backs of her knees as Cole continued his ruthless ass fucking. C.J.’s mouth never left her breasts. He sucked and licked like a man starved. He acted like he’d never been that up close and personal with a woman’s breasts in his life and he seemed determined to make the most of the experience.

Mike’s mouth gentled on Ren’s. He kissed her with reverence and then stroked her cheek with his other hand, pushing aside a strand of her hair as he stared into her eyes. Then slowly, he pulled his hand away from her pussy and Ren sagged, still impaled on Cole’s cock.

“Hands behind your back,” Cole ordered.

Ren gave him her hands and he captured them at the small of her back, holding her captive as he bent her forward so he could finish. He slapped against her ass, hard, with the purpose of orgasm. His release gathered in his balls, put a stranglehold on his cock and raced up the head until it felt like he was going to explode.

And then he started spurting deep inside her ass. It vaguely occurred to him that he hadn’t used a condom this time. He couldn’t conjure any real regret. She belonged to him. She was his. His to use. Her body was his.

Mike slid a hand into her hair and supported her head as Cole bent her further forward as he rammed into her ass, shaking with the last of his release. Then finally he shuddered to a stop and remained locked inside her for a long moment.

When he finally pulled away, semen slid from her ass and left a wet trail down the inside of her leg. He viewed the result with deep satisfaction.

Yeah, she was his. Marked. Possessed. Owned.

He gently separated her hands but kept hold as he guided them back around to her sides. He waited until he was sure she had her footing and then he took a step back.

“Turn around, Ren. Show them whose cum slides from your body and over your skin. Show them who’s marked you, who owns you.”

Slowly she did his bidding, turning so that her back was presented to Mike and C.J.

“Good girl.”

Then to Mike. “Take her below. Make sure she gets into the bathroom safely and wait outside in case she needs something. When she’s finished cleaning up, have her come back topside. This time, no swimsuit. I want her naked so I can see the marks on her ass.”

CHAPTER 29

Cole stripped down topside and pulled on a pair of swim trunks. C.J. had gone to prepare refreshment for Cole and Ren and now Cole just waited for Ren to return.

He hadn’t planned the scene as it had gone down. But he’d known in advance that Captain Mike was well used to observing such things. The man who owned the yacht was a hedonist at heart and more often than not, he had his latest submissive, aboard, fucking her six ways to Sunday.

While he doubted C.J. had ever participated or even observed for that matter, he wouldn’t doubt that Mike had joined in his fair share of sexual escapades. Or at the very least, he’d seen it all. C.J. had to be new or at least still green because he’d damn near come undone at the opportunity to touch Ren.

It was good to have friends with expensive toys and who employed staff who either looked the other way or were discreet above all else. With the salary that both Mike and C.J. received, it was doubtful they’d report a murder if it happened right in front of their noses.

Cole would have to remember to thank Jon again for the last-minute use of his yacht. It served its purpose well. It got Ren away from any potential run-in with Lucas and it isolated him and Ren from the rest of the world. A few days to live and love and do nothing more than enjoy each other would hopefully go a long way in cementing the fragile relationship that had begun repairing itself from the moment he and Ren had reunited.

His body leapt to life as soon as he saw the top of Ren’s dark head clear the top of the steps leading belowdeck. She climbed slowly up, her naked body gleaming in the sunlight. Her hair streamed over her shoulders, the ends lifting and blowing this way and that. She honest to God took his breath away.

Mike followed a discreet distance behind, carrying a tube of sunblock and two towels. Ren stopped in front of where Cole lounged in the deck chair, awaiting his next directive.

Damn, he was a lucky bastard. Ren fit him and his needs so perfectly. Never would he be able to find a woman who was so quietly content to give herself into his keeping.

“Turn around,” he said softly.

She did as he asked and turned until she faced away, her plump little ass still red and bearing the marks of his punishment. Damn if he didn’t want to pull her down and fuck her again until one of them couldn’t walk. Probably himself.

“Beautiful. Don’t you think so, Mike?”

“Yes, indeed,” Mike murmured.

Just then C.J. came bearing a wheeled cart with several trays, a bottle of wine and several bottles of water.

“Good timing,” Cole said in approval. “I’m sure Ren is hungry and thirsty as well. However, before I feed her, her needs must be met. She’ll need sunblock. I won’t have her burned. I’d like for the two of you to take care of the matter for me.”

C.J. visibly swallowed and Mike twisted the tube in his hand, his hungry gaze going to Ren. It was probably damn cruel to have the two men apply the sunblock since Cole had no intention of allowing them to fuck her, but Ren would enjoy it and this was all about Ren and no one else.

“Come lie down, darling. Face down first so they can get your back. Then you can roll over so they get your front.”

Ren took the lounger beside him and gracefully stretched out to lay on her stomach. He reached over to flip her hair up over her shoulder and then let his fingers wander down her back, just to let her know he was near and watching. Always watching, always protecting.

Then he motioned for Mike and C.J. to do the job.

Mike pointed C.J. to Ren’s other side and then took position opposite C.J.

“Don’t get in a hurry,” Mike instructed C.J. “And be mindful of her welts.”

Cole smiled. Yep. Total conquest.

“Very good,” he said approvingly. “I want Ren to enjoy this. Make sure she does.”

Ren sucked in her breath the moment the unfamiliar hands began to glide over her flesh. Even knowing where each man was positioned, it was easy to know whose hands were whose. Mike was more …knowledgeable. That was the word she searched for. He was patient. Didn’t get in a hurry. He seemed to know exactly how to touch a woman.

C.J. gave it very good effort, but he was excited and he kept having to slow down as if remembering what he was supposed to be doing.

Gradually they settled into a rhythm. Stroking, caressing. Warm, soothing. The heat of the sun coupled with their sensual exploration of her back had her nearly asleep and so drugged on pleasure that she couldn’t have moved if she wanted to.

They worked down to her ass and Mike took over there, as if he didn’t trust C.J. not to hurt her. She heard him tell C.J. to work on her legs and then both his palms covered her still-aching behind.

She sighed in bliss as he very tenderly worked the lotion into her skin. Her ass still tingled and was hypersensitive to every touch. But Mike was exceedingly gentle and he covered every inch of her flesh.

After several long, glorious minutes of him cupping and massaging her behind, he slid his hands down her legs to her feet and began to rub the soles. He pressed into her arches and rubbed the tops of her feet, even running a finger over each of her toes.

She made a sound. Maybe she’d tried to talk. It came out as a garbled, incomprehensible mess. Cole laughed softly beside her. She opened one eye to see him stretched on the lounger, hands behind his head, looking like a sun god. So confident and supreme she wanted to jump on him and lick him up one side and down the other. But that would require effort and she didn’t have any to spare at the moment.

“Enjoying yourself, darling? Are they doing a good job?”

“Oh God, yes.” She whimpered again when Mike hit just the right spot on her foot.

“Turn over,” Mike said gruffly. “We need to do your front.”

Her hands and arms shook so badly that she couldn’t push herself up from the lounger to rotate over. Mike took her arm and carefully maneuvered her until she was on her back.

The lust was back in C.J.’s eyes as he stared down at her breasts. She wanted to laugh. The guy was obviously a boob guy. He didn’t see anything else once he locked on to those.

“Don’t maul her,” Mike muttered as he squeezed more lotion onto his hand.

Cole chuckled. “Indeed.”

They started at her neck and worked down to her chest. Mike was more cautious. He touched her breasts experimentally at first and then as if reassuring himself he wasn’t hurting her, he began to massage lightly, working a pattern around her nipples that had them so stiff and taut that the slightest breeze over them made her ache all over.

C.J. was more enthusiastic. He caressed, rubbed and pinched her nipple between his thumb and forefinger. The dual sensations, so very different, had her so worked up she was about to fidget out of her lounger.

“This is supposed to be relaxing,” Cole said in amusement.

She cracked an eye open again to glare at him. “Oh really? So you’re telling me if two gorgeous women were running their hands all over your cock, that you’d be all relaxed and ho hum?”

He grinned. “Only if that gorgeous woman was you.”

“Oh you’re good,” she muttered.

“Relax, darling. This is all for you. Enjoy it.”

She closed her eyes again and surrendered to the male hands that explored her body, rubbing sunblock in areas that would probably never see the sun.

Mike slid his fingers between her thighs and she parted her legs automatically. He found her bare lips and ran his thumb up and down the soft folds until she was all but purring.

“Do you want him to make you come, Ren?” Cole asked quietly.

She opened her eyes to focus on him once more. She stared into his eyes, looking for the right answer, but as it had been with Lucas, it wasn’t a trick question.

“Yes,” she whispered. “Please.”

“Ask him then. Ask him prettily and maybe he’ll give you what you want.”

Her gaze drifted down to Mike’s tight features. He was dark brown from hours in the sun. There probably wasn’t a part of him that hadn’t been kissed by the sun. It was hard to know his ethnicity because of the tan. She couldn’t place his accent, though he looked to be at least part Latino. Either way the man was damn sexy and he was looking at her with those soft black eyes that said he’d do anything at all to please her. What woman could resist that?

“Please make me come.”

“Address him properly,” Cole admonished.

“Please make me come, Captain Mike,” she amended.

“It will be my pleasure,” Mike said as he slid his fingers through her folds to the already damp flesh beyond.

He rolled his thumb over her clit while he stroked a circle around her entrance with his middle finger. All the while he stared directly into her eyes and she found herself unable to look away. She had no idea what C.J. was doing or if he was even still touching her. There was only the magic of Mike’s eyes and fingers as he lazily stroked her most intimate flesh.

“Would you like me to use my mouth?” Mike asked.

Her gaze flew to Cole. He looked pleased by her reaction but nodded his permission, effectively leaving it up to her.

“Oh God, yes,” she breathed. “Please.”

“Spread your legs and place your feet on either side of the lounger,” Mike directed.

She did as he bade and planted the soles of her feet on the sun-warmed deck. Her pussy was spread and bared and she was completely vulnerable, a sensation that sent a heady thrill through her body.

Mike straddled the lounger and scooted up until his hands covered the tops of her thighs and slid warmly up to her pelvis. He lowered his mouth at the same time he spread the folds of her pussy with his thumbs. Holding her open, he dipped his tongue down and licked her from her entrance to her clit.

She nearly came off the lounger and would have but she suddenly realized where C.J. had gone. He was holding her shoulders down so she couldn’t move. Her gaze went helplessly to Cole who surveyed her with lazy arrogance.

Mike nuzzled her flesh, the scruff on his jaw abrading her sensitive areas, driving her crazy. He licked and sucked, gently, so very gently. The man was a God when it came to oral sex. There wasn’t a woman alive who wouldn’t throw herself at a man who had a mouth like this.

And man was he patient. He didn’t tire. Didn’t grow impatient when she didn’t come right away. He was content to work her up slow and easy. He licked her deep, sliding his tongue as far inside her as he could reach. Then he’d work his way up to her clit where he’d tongue her and suck lightly at the quivering bundle of nerves. She was ready to scream because she was so on edge but she just couldn’t get there yet.

“She needs more,” Cole said softly. “She needs that edge. A little rough. Push her a little more and she’ll come.”

Oh how he understood her. Even watching another man go down on her, he could read her like a book. Knew she was close and what she needed to achieve release.

Mike nipped lightly at her clit and then rubbed the bristle of his beard growth through her folds. He slid two fingers inside her while he nibbled at the taut bud above her entrance and then began finger fucking her.

“That’s it,” Cole said. “Don’t be afraid of hurting her. She likes it rough. Don’t you, Ren darling?”

“Yesss.”

The word came out as a long hiss because just as Cole had given Mike further directions, Mike added a third finger and thrust hard.

“Come in my mouth,” Mike said hoarsely. “I want you to come all over my tongue. I want to taste you. I’ve never tasted anything sweeter.”

Those words, so sweetly said, did more than the bite of pain and the hard edge of his fingers. She catapulted over the edge, her entire body drawing up and then exploding with the force of a bomb.

She quivered from head to toe and she was only aware of Mike licking her. Of him sucking every bit of her release into his mouth. She moaned and melted into the lounger, so boneless that she couldn’t move. Her legs sagged limply to the side. As Mike raised his head from her pussy, she couldn’t even muster the strength to close her legs so they remained gaped open like a complete wanton.

“Bring her to me.”

Cole’s quiet command drifted over her ears and soon she found herself lifted from the lounger and delivered into Cole’s waiting arms. He cuddled her to him and held a glass of cold water to her lips. She drank thirstily and then sagged against his chest as he stroked his hand up and down her back.

“Lay here with me, Ren. I’m going to feed you delicious food and we’re going to watch the sun go down.”

She sighed a blissful, happy sigh and burrowed a little tighter into his embrace. Oh, but he did love to spoil her so.

CHAPTER 30

“Where did you wander off to today?”

Ren lay in the lounger, wrapped in Cole’s arms as the sunset put on a fiery display worthy of the gods. The sky was painted in vibrant golden hues with brushes of pink and lavender. And just over the horizon, the sun was a giant orange orb, sinking lower and lower, hanging on with a weakening grip.

She didn’t pretend to misunderstand. She knew exactly what he was asking. It was the source of her punishment and the catalyst for everything that had happened since. Put in that light, she couldn’t very well regret what had happened but she could at least make him understand.

“I was thinking.”

“About?”

She flushed, embarrassed at the first thing that had drifted her off course while Cole was fucking her.

“Ren?” he prompted.

“I was imagining what a child of ours would look like,” she mumbled.

He went utterly silent. So still against her. Disconcerted, she chanced a peek at him to gauge his reaction and was stunned by the raw hunger in his eyes. He looked …wistful.

“I think she would be beautiful like her mama,” Cole said quietly. “Dark skin, dark hair. Who knows what kind of eyes with your mixture of brown and green and my blue eyes. But I’d lay odds she’ll be stunning.”

“And a boy?” she asked with a smile.

“I picture him like you too. A miniature Ren with your mischievous smile.”

“Would our children inherit nothing from you?”

“Just my love of you.”

She was flattened by the statement. Had no response. She felt like she was swaying while the world went still around her.

She lay her head back on his shoulder afraid to dream further.

“When you began the punishment, I remembered when we were young how we used to act out those scenes where I said no and you forced me.”

Cole stopped his lazy exploration of her skin. “Did I frighten you?”

She shook her head. “That’s not why I brought it up. It made me remember. It …excited me. It excited me then.”

“And now?”

“You’re still the only person I would ever trust in a situation like that. I’ve never taken things that far with anyone else.”

He touched her hair, ran his fingers absently through the strands. “Not even Lucas?”

She shook her head. “Lucas is intense. One, I don’t see him really appreciating such a situation. He’s much too serious. And impatient with games. Two, it’s entirely possible that he’d push too far. I don’t think he’d get carried away. I mean, I trust him. I guess I’ve just never wanted to see that side of him. He can be intimidating.”

“That wasn’t what I was doing. Earlier, I mean. You …” He looked pained for a moment as if he didn’t really want to say what was on his mind. “You get to me, Ren. Like no one else has ever been able to. I look at you and my instinct is to dominate and not just because it’s a sexual aspect that turns me on. It goes much deeper than that with you. I want to protect and cherish you. I want to get so deep inside your mind and skin that you can never shake me. That probably scares the hell out of you but I can’t be any more honest than that.”

Fright was the very last thing on her mind. Warmth curled around her insides, fluttered through her chest and seeped into her soul, comforting her from the inside out.

“What if I told you that was precisely what I needed? What I want? More than anything.”

“But would you be happy with those things no matter who provided them?” he asked grimly.

She sucked in her breath, stung by the almost accusation even as she understood why he asked it. It was a valid question. In his shoes, she’d be wondering the same thing. But instead of answering or perhaps by way of answering, she turned it back on him.

“Would any woman do for you? Would you be happy protecting and cherishing any woman or is it just me?”

He looked pissed and she instantly regretted the little demon that prompted her to ask it.

“I’m not even going to acknowledge, much less respond, to that question. I believe I’ve more than answered it. You, on the other hand, have yet to answer mine. That’s not like you, Ren. You’ve been honest and straightforward on every other occasion. Even to your detriment.”

She sighed. “I’m sorry. It made me angry and frustrated me a little.”

“Care to share why?”

He’d relaxed a little the moment she’d admitted the emotion behind her question, and he began stroking his hand over her arm again, offering comfort. The man really was too good to be true, and here she was about to be the biggest most ungrateful bitch alive.

“Because I couldn’t respond and say what I wanted to say. Not while being truthful. I’d love to be able to tell you that like you, I could only be this way with you. That I’d only want these things from you. But I’d be lying and I won’t lie to you, Cole. I can’t.”

“Lucas.”

That one word said it all. The grim resignation in Cole’s voice told her without any other explanation that he knew well that Lucas was the one exception. The one thing standing in the way of her total and complete acceptance of what she and Cole had together. Because she’d shared much of the same with him. Because she trusted Lucas and she cared for him. No, that wasn’t even being honest with herself. She loved him just like she loved Cole. Even knowing that he might be finished with her. Even knowing that he’d hurt her horribly just days earlier.

A part of her couldn’t accept what she feared was true until she was presented irrefutable evidence, and in this case it would mean facing Lucas and having him tell her.

It made her stupid. It made her …It made her someone she didn’t want to be. She hated it. But God, how do you just stop loving someone? How? It wasn’t like flipping a switch. She’d been with Lucas an entire year. She’d only been back with Cole a few days.

She couldn’t cheapen her love for Cole by being as fickle as to say she no longer loved Lucas. What would that say about what she felt for Cole?

The words burned in her throat and she knew she had to tell him. She had to explain. And oh God, if he didn’t understand, if he grew angry, she didn’t know what she’d do because there was nothing left for her but the truth.

She opened her mouth but the words stuck. How she hated this horrible paralysis that gripped her.

Then Cole’s gentle hand slid over her cheek and turned her more fully to face him.

“Talk to me, Ren. There’s such torment in your eyes. I can’t stand to see you this way.”

Her throat swelled and then tightened into a vicious knot that she could barely breathe around.

“I love him,” she whispered.

Something died in Cole’s eyes. His hand drifted slowly down until it lay on his leg. It was then that she realized that she’d never been honest with her feelings about him. Everything had happened so fast and she’d battled so many conflicting emotions. There was never a doubt in her mind that she loved Cole deeply. Always had. But she hadn’t told him and now she’d just blurted out that she loved Lucas and in Cole’s mind that meant she was choosing him over Cole.

She put both hands to his face, forcing him to look at her as she pleaded with him with her gaze. But instead of saying anything she pressed her lips to his in a hungry kiss and poured every ounce of her feelings for him into that kiss.

“Please forgive me,” she whispered. “I’m so terrible at something that is so important. Please just listen while I explain.”

“What else is there to say?” he asked hoarsely.

“I love you, Cole. I love you so damned much.”

His brows furrowed and he looked utterly perplexed. “But you just said …”

She nodded. “I did. I just thought all this out in my head but instead of thinking it, I should have been saying it to you. I love you. I’ve always loved you. Even when I was so hurt and devastated by you leaving me. My loving Lucas doesn’t change that. It may sound ridiculous. Maybe you don’t even believe me. But it’s true.

“I’ve been with Lucas for a year. It took me a long time to sort out my feelings for him. I already told you that in the beginning I was using him. Not maliciously. But I clung to him because he was an anchor in a tumultuous time in my life. I needed him. He provided so much of what I needed to get back on track. I respected him. I liked him. He was a friend and a lover. I’m not even sure when all of that changed and became something deeper and more meaningful. Maybe I didn’t even realize it myself until he took me to you. Because it hurt. It hurt more than I could have imagined that he walked away from me so easily. It was like swallowing a torch and being burned from the inside out.

“But then there was you. So damn perfect. So caring and loving. Seeing you again was like having the past hit me like a tidal wave. I immediately knew that if I’d ever told myself that I’d stopped loving you, I was a damn liar.

“But oh God, Cole. I love Lucas too, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I can’t just turn that off. Even if he has left me and moved on. I don’t know how I’m supposed to deal with that. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to disrespect you. But I can’t pretend like this isn’t tearing me up inside. I can’t pretend I don’t love him when I do. But I can’t—I wont—have you think that I don’t love you with every thing I have.”

Her breath came out as a sob, stuttering over shaking lips. She hadn’t realized how badly she was shaking all over until Cole gripped her arms with his hands and simply held her.

“I love you, Cole,” she whispered. “I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like you were second best or that I didn’t love you or that, God forbid, you were a substitute for Lucas and that any man could give me what I want and need.”

He pulled her into his arms and held her tightly, his chest heaving against her. “Ren. My darling, Ren. I love you too. So damn much. So honest and so tormented. I wish you’d talked to me before. I hate that you’ve been feeling torn and afraid.”

“I didn’t even know myself what to say or what to do,” she said, muffled by her mouth against his throat.

She inhaled his scent, closed her eyes as his pulse beat against her lips. Steady and reassuring. Just like he always was. Her Cole.

“I love you,” she said again, because it seemed the right and best thing to say. Perhaps the only thing out of all the other stuff that mattered.

He kissed her hair, stroked her skin and simply held her as she clung to him.

“It will be all right, Ren. I swear to you,” Cole finally said. It was a vow. So firm that hope and comfort took hold. “We’ll find a way, darling. We’ll find it.”