Sweet Deal

Chapter Nineteen

Jake stared at the cell phone sitting on his kitchen counter. He popped the top off another beer and drank deeply. A row of empties sat on the counter. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

He had fucked up. Royally. Monumentally.

He wanted to pick up the phone and call Shelby. He ached to talk to her. But how the hell was he going to explain himself?

He didn’t deserve her. Just as he’d always known, he didn’t deserve anyone. After Gianna had dumped him, it had reinforced his bone-deep certainty that he wasn’t worthy of any kind of lasting, meaningful relationship and he’d proceeded to fuck his way through a string of unimportant bed partners, knowing, as he always had, that every woman he cared about would leave him. So he didn’t care. And he always left first.

He totally deserved what he was now getting. Which was a big fat nothing.

He rubbed his forehead with his fingertips, slouched against the cupboards, and drank more of the beer. Last night had felt full of so much promise for him and Shelby. It had felt real. It had felt important. But real and important only meant heartbreak when she decided to leave him, as he knew she would. So it was just as well this had happened. Except he truly did regret hurting Shelby. He’d hurt women in the past, and he never liked it, but this was like a giant fist squeezing his heart.

And earlier in his office, he’d come to terms with what he needed to do. He’d quit his job. It was scary but exciting, it was what he’d always wanted and he’d let himself be miserable for too long.

Now, that all held little appeal without Shelby there to share it with. Shit. Like Drew had said, what did he have to lose? Nothing, that’s what. He had nothing.

He picked up the cell phone, flipped it open, found her number. Stared at it. Snapped the phone shut. Nah, he couldn’t do it. She was better off without him and it would only have been a matter of time before she dumped him anyway, before she called off the deal once she didn’t need him anymore.

Shelby sat in her cubicle the next morning staring blankly at the gray divider.

She should have just called in sick, like she’d wanted to. She did feel sick. Very sick. She pressed a hand to her stomach.

She could be coming down with the flu. Her entire body hurt, especially her head. Her eyes felt gritty and raw, so much that she’d actually worn her hated glasses to work. There was no way she could get contacts into her swollen eyes. She rolled her eyes at herself. Crying herself to sleep like a besotted teenager. Geez. Surely to god she was past that kind of foolishness.

Apparently not.

She’d dragged herself into work feeling like a bag of crap, knowing she had to face Andrew at some point. This was all so humiliating. Was he going to realize she and Jake had faked their relationship because of him? Oh dear lord.

Heat swept over her, burning her cheeks. Her stomach heaved yet again. Really, it could be the flu. She should go home.

She straightened her shoulders. It would be fine. Andrew was pissed off at Jake, not at her. She hadn’t done anything, as far as he knew. She bit her lip. It wasn’t exactly fun watching your boss catch his wife cheating with another man, but he was probably more embarrassed by the whole thing than she was.

No. That wasn’t possible. In front of a whole bar full of people, including her boss who didn’t need to know such personal things about her, she’d been betrayed by the man she thought she loved. Found out he’d been using her. Just like every other man.

Used. Anger sizzled up her spine. Fuck him and his cute chin dimple.

She picked up the file folder that held the work she’d done on her project. Never mind the personal shit that had gone on last night, they had business to do. They had to finish what they’d started yesterday and she had to tell him her idea for fixing the problem.

She stood, smoothed her skirt down, then picked up the jumbo coffee from Java the Hut she’d gotten on her way into the office. She was going to have to give up Java the Hut if every time she went there she found herself looking for Jake.

She walked down the hall, head high. Nobody else there knew what had happened. She’d tell people she and Jake broke up. No big deal. He’d served his purpose, having taken people’s attention away from what was happening—or what they thought was happening, rather—between her and Andrew.

“Is he in there?” She jerked her head toward Andrew’s office as she stopped by Susan’s desk. Susan looked up, and her smile quickly faded to dismay.

“Shelby! Are you okay?”

“Actually, I think I’m coming down with the flu.” She grimaced.

“Go home! If you don’t feel well, you should be at home in bed.”

Shelby forced a tight smile. “Good idea. But I need to meet with Andrew first.”

“He’s in his office. Go on in.”

“Thanks.”

Susan’s concern for her touched something inside Shelby. It was nice to work with people who cared, even if only a little. Much better than the icy vibe she’d encountered a few weeks ago.

She walked into Andrew’s office, clutching her coffee and file folder. He looked up from his computer. His hair stuck up in all directions, he had dark circles under his eyes and strain tightened his mouth. Guess he and Gianna had had a rough evening.

“Do you have a few minutes to finish talking about the project?”

“Sure. Have a seat.”

Silence thickened around them as she sat waiting for him to join her. He sat there still staring at his computer screen.

“Are you okay, Andrew?” She bit her lip. He was her boss, but geez, he looked like hell.

“Yeah. Fine.” He rose and joined her at the small table. “That was a mess last night, huh?”

“Yeah.” She bowed her head, but then quickly lifted it. She was not going to be a victim this time. “But I’m okay.”

“I’m really sorry. I thought you knew about Jake and me. And Gianna.”

“I asked him. He lied to me.” She narrowed her eyes and her fingers tightened on the cardboard coffee cup. “Whatever. At least I know now. Before things got too…serious.” Her voice cracked on the last word. Dammit. She cleared her throat and swallowed hard.

“I know how he rolls. He’s not the kind of guy who sticks around long,” Andrew said. “I actually warned him not to mess around with you.” Then he muttered one word under his breath. “Asshole.”

Shelby flinched. She didn’t really like hearing someone else call him that. She’d call him an asshole. Nobody else, though. “Uh…thanks.”

“Anyway.” Andrew shook his head. “You wanted to talk about the project.”

Oookay. He didn’t want to talk about personal stuff. It appeared the easy, friendly relationship they’d had was gone. She’d succeeded in what she’d wanted when she’d told him she had a boyfriend, when she’d let Jake play that part. This cool, impersonal relationship was just what she wanted from her boss. So if he didn’t want to talk about it, wanted to go on as if nothing had happened, she was so down with that.

“So I thought about the information you gave me yesterday,” Andrew said, lowering his big body into a chair across from her. He eyed her coffee for a lingering moment. “And I’ve come to the conclusion that we have to cancel the project.”

She gaped at him. “What? Cancel it?”

“Yeah.” He shook his head. “It’s clear that it’s not going to be successful unless we deal with the problems with the intake process first. Everything is so closely tied together. If we don’t fix that first, the project is doomed to fail.”

“But I…”

“I already asked Brad Amando to head up the new project,” he said. “Working on the intake process. He may ask you to be involved.”

She stared at him, speechless. “He may?”

Andrew shrugged. “It will be up to him.”

“But—”

He held up a hand. “Sorry, Shelby. I know you were invested in this. But we just don’t have enough resources to do both right now.”

She knew that! That’s why she’d come up with Plan B! “But…”

Andrew looked at his watch, shifting his gaze away from her and standing. “I have another meeting right now.”

Dear sweet Jesus, it was happening again. Was he blaming her for having to kill the project? Black spots danced in front of her eyes and she felt like her head was floating off her shoulders.

What was she going to do? She still had some things she was working on from her last project, still some follow up and analysis to do, but…

She lifted a hand to her forehead. She stood too, since he was clearly ending the meeting, turned and tried to walk to the door, barely able to see.

“Shelby.”

She paused and looked over her shoulder.

“Your coffee. And notes.”

“Oh.” Blinking rapidly, enveloped in a haze of heat, she scooped them up and stumbled out of his office. Susan wasn’t at her desk, thankfully, so she didn’t have to pretend things were okay. She staggered down the corridor to her cubicle, wishing she had an office with a door. She was going to have to hide in the ladies’ room. Or maybe even go home. Yeah. That’s what she should do. That flu-like feeling was taking her down.

Swallowing hard, her throat tight, head pounding, she sent a quick email to Andrew and Susan to let them know she was going home sick. Even in her bewilderment, she couldn’t just walk out. Though she wasn’t sure if she was ever coming back.