CHAPTER 33

Serena knew she was pushing herself too hard, she knew she was avoiding her friends, and she knew without a doubt that she didn’t have a prayer of ever getting over Damon.

She was a coward, a bitch, and she was heartbroken.

She hadn’t attended Michelle’s funeral. Carrie was livid and had called her heartless. Serena didn’t deny it. If she had any sort of a heart, she wouldn’t have strung Damon along making promises she couldn’t keep. Oh, she hadn’t overtly made any promises, but she’d bought into the whole fantasy. Lost herself in something that wasn’t real. She’d wanted it and wanted it badly.

No, going to the funeral wasn’t something she could handle, but still, she found herself walking slowly toward Michelle’s headstone as the evening shadows lengthened.

Newly dug dirt lay atop the small mound and a huge assortment of flowers decorated the area. Serena’s gaze fell on the shiny stone, still so new, where Michelle’s name was engraved. Tears welled when she saw that below her name her parents had added an inscription.

Always our princess.

Serena knelt and carefully leaned over to place a tiara at the head of the grave.

“If there is any justice, you’re reigning in heaven with a pink princess gown, a diamond tiara and a purple scepter,” Serena whispered. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t do for you the one thing that mattered most.”

“But you did.”

Serena whipped guiltily around and saw Mrs. Tasco standing there, tears shining on her cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” Serena murmured as she stood. “I didn’t mean to intrude.” She started to walk away, but Mrs. Tasco touched her arm as she got close.

“Please, don’t go.”

Serena hesitated, torn between the need to be away before she succumbed to the tears boiling at her eyes and the pain she saw reflected in a mother’s eyes.

“I heard what you said, and you’re wrong. There was nothing anyone could do for Michelle’s health. God knows we tried. We saw countless doctors, tried treatment after treatment, but we knew . . . we knew she didn’t have long. What you did was give a little girl who had known so much pain and sorrow a reason to smile, to laugh, to be happy, even when she knew she was dying. For that, Miss James, you will always have my undying gratitude.”

Her voice broke on a sob, and she covered her mouth with trembling fingers.

“I can never repay you for the sight of my daughter’s face lit up like a million suns as she danced at her coronation ceremony aboard the cruise ship. Or for the look on her father’s face as he whirled her around the dance floor.”

She enfolded Serena in her arms and hugged her tightly as sobs racked her frame.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Serena whispered, knowing it wasn’t enough, that it would never be enough.

“Thank you. Thank you from me and her father both. We’ll never forget what you did for our daughter.”

Serena tried to smile and failed. Mrs. Tasco squeezed her hand and then slowly moved past her and away from the grave site.

A slight breeze blew the tears dry on Serena’s face and none replaced them as she stared back at the tiara sitting in front of the stone.

Realization and death of dreams. Life. She could spout the bullshit about how things were cyclical but it wouldn’t bring her any peace, and it damn sure wouldn’t make her feel better about a little princess who wanted so little and gave so much.

Exhausted and heartsick, she began the walk back to her car. Though it was warm and muggy with barely a breeze to break the oppressive heat, Serena hugged her arms close to her body and put her head down as she walked along the manicured pathway of the cemetery. Her fingers lay over the arm band that Damon had given her, hidden by her sleeve. She hadn’t taken it or the ankle bracelet off. She couldn’t bear to.

When she reached the parking lot, she dug into her jeans pocket for her keys, and when she looked up, she saw Julie and Faith standing by her car.

They didn’t wait for her to react, say hello or go away. They converged, flanking her and wrapping an arm around her waist and shoulders.

“Gray said he and Connor would get your car on their way home,” Faith said as she herded Serena toward her vehicle. “You’re coming with me and Julie even if we have to knock your ass out.”

When she didn’t even offer an argument, Julie gave her a worried look. “You look exhausted, Serena. When was the last time you slept?”

“I haven’t.” She closed her eyes to prevent the tears from coming. “Not since I left Damon.”

Faith sighed and shoved her gently into the front seat.

“Where are you taking me?” Serena asked mildly as Faith slid into the driver’s seat.

Julie leaned up from the backseat. “Well we could call it some hokey bullshit like intervention, but I prefer to call it us kicking your dumb ass.”

Serena laughed, but it sounded harsh and ugly. She leaned her head against the seat as warm tears left salt trails down her cheeks.

Julie squeezed her arm as Faith backed out of the parking lot. They drove in silence, and Serena kept her eyes closed, not wanting to see the pity or concern in her friends’ eyes. She still had no idea where they were going but if it involved food and sleep, she could certainly deal.

She fell asleep and when she woke again, Faith and Julie were pulling her out of the front seat. As she staggered to her feet, the smell of salt and an ocean breeze wafted gently through her senses.

“Where are we?” she asked as she tried to blink the fog from her eyes.

“Beach house,” Julie said.

Serena frowned as they mounted the steps to the large house. A single light shone from the porch, warm and inviting. “Whose house?”

“Does it matter?” Faith asked in exasperation.

“Guess not,” Serena muttered. “As long as it has food and a pillow.”

“I’d say it’s about time you started talking about eating and sleeping. You look like you haven’t had either in a week,” Julie said.

Serena sighed. She’d lost count of the days. It didn’t matter.

Faith unlocked the door, and they walked inside. Julie went back out for their bags while Faith plopped Serena down on the couch with instructions to stay.

“Yes, Mom,” Serena mumbled.

They fussed, bullied, pinched and prodded until she ate every single thing they put on the plate they prepared for her. She dreaded the end of the meal because she knew that was when they’d start in with the demand for answers. But to her surprise, they bundled her off to bed.

“Get some sleep, Serena,” Faith urged. “We’ll be here when you wake up. You’re done running yourself into the ground.”

Serena nodded to acknowledge she’d heard, but she was already going under.

Julie glanced over at Faith and held her finger to her lips then angled her head toward the door. They walked outside and shut the bedroom door before returning to the living room.

“I need to call Damon,” Faith said. “He’s been worried sick about her.”

“And Gray. He wasn’t crazy about you coming down here without him,” Julie said.

Faith shivered. “I wasn’t so crazy about it myself but at least it’s not the same beach house. Damon sold the one where Gray was shot.”

“Do you think we’re doing the right thing?” Julie asked. “I can’t decide, and yet I know we couldn’t stand by and watch her self-destruct. Hell, Faith, what are we going to do when she wakes up? I don’t have the answers.”

Faith paused in the act of taking out her cell phone. “Honestly? I don’t think Serena is going to get better until she and Damon are together again.”

“Did I mention that I hate meddling friends?” Julie grumbled. “I hate being one even more. It was her decision, Faith. We can’t make her go back to Damon.”

“I told her to give him up,” Faith said painfully. “I should have stayed out of it.”

“Oh, shut up. Serena didn’t leave Damon because you told her to, and if she did, she’s a bigger dumbass than I thought.”

Faith leveled a glare at her. “You know, Julie, it’s amazing Serena and I haven’t cut your throat. If I were you, I’d sleep real light tonight.”

“Call your man and then call Damon. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man so worried over a woman. Made me all gooey inside.”

“Let’s just hope this works,” Faith said as she punched the keypad of her phone.

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