Sweet Surrender

CHAPTER 28

Faith took a shower and hurriedly dressed. Her stomach was a mess, and she wasn’t sure she was going to be able to eat a thing. She dried her long hair then brushed it and let it hang loose over her shoulders. She knew Gray liked it that way.

Mine.

His declaration still echoed in her mind and sent sparks to her girly parts every time she pictured the possessive look on his face when he’d said it.

Deciding on a pair of jeans and a short-sleeved pink top, she dressed and searched out a pair of heels. She gave herself one last once-over in the mirror, and then she walked into the living room where Gray waited.

He was standing by the French doors, thumbs hooked into his pockets. His blue eyes sparked in appreciation as he let his gaze drift over her.

“You look beautiful,” he said.

She smiled. “I’m ready if you are.”

He dug his keys out of his pocket then walked toward the door. When he got to her, he held out his hand. She slid her small hand into his much larger one, and his fingers curled tight around it.

Together, they walked out to his truck, and as he’d done the night at The House, he settled her into the passenger seat. During the drive into Galveston, they were silent, but Gray tucked her hand into his and rubbed his thumb across her knuckles.

She took comfort in the intimate gesture. It made her less nervous. Like this was a date like any other. As soon as that thought crossed her mind, she nearly laughed. This was nothing like any other date. This was what she’d been looking for, waiting for, wanting. Not much pressure there.

“Seafood sound good?” he asked, breaking the silence.

She nodded.

He slowed and made a left then eased into a parking spot. Then he squeezed her hand and looked into her eyes. She smiled shyly at the approval she saw reflected in his gaze. He leaned across the seat and kissed her, warm, soft, nonaggressive. Then he drew away and stepped out of the truck.

When they walked in, Gray spoke quietly to the hostess, who gave him a quick smile and nodded. She glanced past him to Faith and smiled again. Then she collected two menus and motioned them to follow her.

“What did you tell her?” Faith whispered as they walked behind the hostess.

“Just that we wanted some privacy.”

And sure enough, the hostess sat them in a corner booth toward the back of the restaurant. The closest people were at least six tables away.

As they sat, a waiter appeared to take their drink order. A few seconds later, they were finally alone.

Gray reached across the table and twined his fingers with hers. “We’ve…well, I’ve spent too much time avoiding you. Things have been crazy between us, moved way too fast. I want to slow things down just for tonight so we can learn more about each other.”

A contented glow warmed her chest. “I’d like that,” she said softly. “I don’t know much about you. Just what Pop’s told me. You’re a cop. You live in Dallas. You lost your partner earlier this year, and you’re taking a break to sort things out. I’d like to know more.”

He looked a little chagrined, as if he’d been expecting her to volunteer information on herself first.

“When was your last relationship?” she asked.

His mouth turned down into a frown. “Relationship? I’m not sure I’d call my encounters with the opposite sex relationships.”

She arched one brow. “What would you call them then?”

“Sex,” he said bluntly.

“And is that what I am to you? Just sex?” she asked softly.

He stared at her for a long moment. “No. And that’s what scared the shit out of me. Why I put you at a distance and tried like hell to stay away from you.”

“Why do guys freak out so much over the idea of a woman being more than sex?” she asked curiously. “It’s become positively cliché. Did your mother never hug you or something?”

His eyes widened in surprise, and then he laughed. “No, I can’t blame my mother for my issues with relationships. I didn’t know her well enough for her to turn me off or on to the female populace.”

She waited for him to go on, not sure what part of that statement she wanted to tackle first.

He let go of her hands and leaned back in his chair. He lifted his glass to his lips and took a long swallow before setting it back down. “My issues with relationships stem from my frustration with not finding what I want.”

“We seem to have that in common,” she said.

He nodded. “I saw in you things that appealed to me. I saw a woman who I imagined being a perfect fit, but the old adage too good to be true kept coming to mind.”

“I hope I don’t disappoint you,” she said wryly. “I can only be myself. Just like you don’t want a script to adhere to, neither do I.”

“I wouldn’t ever want you to change, Faith. I like you just the way you are. Even if we don’t work out.”

“But you don’t know anything about me,” she pointed out.

He shook his head in disagreement. “I know that you’re beautiful. Loyal. Intelligent. Feminine. You know exactly what you want, and you won’t settle for less. You’re not afraid to surrender to a man.” He leaned forward again, pinning her with his earnest gaze. “There are two kinds of women I could never get involved with.”

She cocked her head to the side in blatant curiosity. The inner workings of a man’s mind…well that was definitely worth the price of admission.

“A woman who plays games. Mind games, sex games, whatever. I like a woman to be honest, not to hide behind a mask. The second is a woman who isn’t strong enough to surrender.”

That earned him another raised brow. She too leaned forward, her curiosity growing.

“I don’t want a woman I become involved with to become a mindless puppet any more than I want to become one. It takes a very special woman to submit to a man but still retain everything that makes her strong and unique. Her own person.”

“You’ve given this a lot of thought,” she mused.

He shrugged. “It’s what I want.”

“And what about out of the bedroom?” she asked. “Does your control extend to every aspect of the relationship? I gathered that the game players you referenced are those women who only want good, kinky sex and then want to step out of the role as soon as they get out of the bedroom.”

He looked intently at her, his expression one of absolute seriousness. “I have no desire to be a tyrant. I just know me. I’m a control freak. I’m comfortable when I’m making the decisions. When you pair that with the kind of woman I’m most attracted to—a soft, feminine woman who I can protect and take care of—then I suppose I do want an all-encompassing relationship where I call the shots in and out of bed. Does that alarm you?”

She smiled. “No. Does it make me weak to admit that I want a man who can take care of me?”

A gleam of satisfaction shone in his eyes. He stared at her with promise reflected in every facet of his face. “I think you’re probably one of the strongest women I’ve ever met, Faith.”

She felt warmed by the praise and the admiration in his voice. And she’d have to be a blind fool not to see the lust in his eyes. Every time he looked at her, it was as though he was peeling her clothing off, inch by inch. She’d waited forever for a man to look at her like this. Like she was the only woman in the world. No, she didn’t feel weak. At the moment, she felt very powerful.

They were interrupted when the waiter brought their food. They relaxed and began eating. From time to time, Gray offered her a bite of his food, and he seemed to enjoy feeding her.

When they’d had enough, the waiter took their plates and left the check, but still, they lingered at the table. Faith was nervous about the return to the beach house. Not a bad nervous. She was still unsure of what to expect but was relieved that she wouldn’t have to make the moves. That was clearly Gray’s territory.

They chatted about innocuous things. Gray told her about growing up in a crime-infested neighborhood and how that influenced him to become a cop. He told her about his partner and Mick, his pseudo father figure.

She’d already suspected Gray was a very black-and-white kind of guy, and after hearing him talk about his job, justice and his partner’s death, she was more convinced that he wasn’t one to see anything in shades in between. Everything was either right or wrong.

Gray motioned for the waiter to refill their drinks. Then he regarded Faith intently as he sipped from his glass. “When you went to the sex club…”

She winced at the description. It seemed so tawdry. “The House,” she corrected.

He shrugged. “When you went to The House, what did you want to happen?”

“I would think it was obvious,” she said. “You saw what happened.”

“I was only there a few minutes,” he said. “You’d obviously been there for a while. Did what you saw interest you?”

Her face warmed. “Some of it,” she admitted.

He raised an eyebrow. “What parts?”

She looked down for a moment. “It was in part shocking. I mean I’ve watched porn movies, but I’ve never seen or experienced anything like that in person.”

“Did it arouse you?” he asked.

She slowly nodded. “Very much so.”

“Some of it more than others?”

Again she nodded.

“What parts did you like?” he pressed.

Her tongue lay thick in her mouth. Her lips parted as she worked to overcome her awkwardness. “When I first got there, in the downstairs rooms, there was a woman sitting between two men. Their attention was focused solely on her. It was obvious they both wanted her. I was jealous of her.”

He watched her, keen interest in his expression. “Go on.”

“Then when we went upstairs there were two men. I’d never seen two men having sex, not even in a movie. It was shocking, yet I was so transfixed I couldn’t look away. It was one of the most erotic scenes I ever remember seeing. And then there was a woman who was having sex with two men. In that moment, I wanted to be her so badly.”

“Having two men intrigues you?” Gray asked.

She flushed.

“Don’t be embarrassed. Would it surprise you to know that a lot of men fantasize about sharing their woman with another man?”

She cocked her head, intrigued by his statement. “Really? Do you?”

He shrugged. “There’s something primitive, not to mention erotic and arousing, about allowing another man to possess what’s yours, to fill more than one of a woman’s orifices. Simultaneously.”

Her face grew even hotter.

“You’re turned on by that,” he observed.

“What woman wouldn’t be?” she blurted.

“What else did you see at The House?”

“The spanking.”

“You liked it.”

She shifted in her seat. “It wasn’t so much the spanking. It was his control over the other woman. His authority. It was so dark and sexy. It started a yearning in me that made me feel like I was turning my skin inside out.”

“Yet when you took her place, the spanking did nothing for you,” he said quietly.

She shook her head. “How did you know?”

He smiled gently. “It was obvious. I could see your disappointment and your frustration. You needed more than what he was giving you.”

“Yes,” she whispered. “It wasn’t real, and I knew it.”

He leaned forward, reaching for her chin, cupping it in his hand. Their gazes met and locked. “This will be real, Faith. I don’t play games.”

She shuddered delicately as the huskily rendered promise slid over her body. “I know.”

They sat in silence for a while, sipping at their drinks. Faith relaxed and let go of some of her nerves. The evening had been perfect. The idea that they had an entire week to explore each other gave her a thrill. She couldn’t wait to discover if Gray was truly the man who could give her everything she’d dreamed.

At one point, Gray set his drink down and looked over at her again. She could sense the forthcoming question. She looked inquisitively at him.

“Are you on birth control?” he asked bluntly.

“Yes,” she said calmly.

“My last sexual encounter was over six months ago,” he said. “I’ve had a physical since then. And there’s the fact that I’ve never not worn a condom when I’ve had sex with a woman.”

She shifted a little uncomfortably. “Well, my last checkup was a couple of months ago. The guy I was seeing until recently had blood tests before I would sleep with him. But we also used condoms.”

Gray nodded. “My question is how you would feel about us not using them.”

A whole host of colorful images flashed through her head. The idea of taking Gray into her body, skin to skin, was extremely arousing.

“You’ve never not worn a condom?” she asked.

“No. And if you’d prefer, I can have the results of my last set of blood tests faxed down tomorrow morning. I’m not some horny teenager willing to say anything to get into your pants.”

She smiled. “I believe you. And the thing is, I’d love not to have to mess with condoms.” She wrinkled her nose. “Without a good amount of lubricant, they’re extremely uncomfortable for me. But I have to be honest. The last time I had sex was right before you and I met for the first time. We used condoms. We’re both clean, but you deserve to know the situation you’re getting into,” she said plainly.

“I very much want to feel every delicious inch of your pussy,” he said in a husky voice.

An uncontrollable quiver rolled over her body.

Gray looked down at his watch, and she knew their dinner was over. So many things bubbled up. Desire. Excitement. Curiosity. Fear. Her hands shook as she bunched them together in her lap.

“Are you ready?” he asked softly.

She nodded and stood when he got out of his seat. He touched his hand to her back and ushered her out of the restaurant.

The warm, salty breeze hit them as soon as they stepped out. In the distance, intermixed with the sounds of passing traffic, the soft music of the ocean filled the night.

“Let’s get back,” Gray said close to her ear.

She nodded, and they climbed into the truck.