Sweet Surrender

CHAPTER 7

Faith got out of her car and headed back into the office building. When she rounded the corner into her office, she was surprised to see Connor and Pop sitting in chairs eating pizza.

“Hey,” she said in delight. “I thought you guys were eating out today.”

“Well, we came by to eat with you,” Connor said. “But you weren’t exactly here.”

Her cheeks prickled, and she fought to maintain a neutral expression. “I took some chicken and dumplings over to Gray. I wanted to see if he was feeling any better.”

“That was nice,” Pop said with an approving nod. “How was he?”

Faith walked over to the open pizza box and took out a slice. She picked up a napkin and took her chair behind the desk. “He seemed to be feeling better. I think he must have been in bed when I knocked because he looked like he’d been asleep.”

“Have things been okay with you, Faith?” Connor asked bluntly.

She blinked in surprise, the pizza stopping its rise halfway to her mouth. She set the slice back down and looked over at her brother.

“Things are fine. Why on earth do you ask?”

“Pop and I have been worried,” Connor said. “You just seem distant lately.”

A momentary rush of panic swelled in her throat. Had her mom called when she wasn’t in the office? Did they already know that Celia was in dire straits again?

She hated these situations. She never wanted Pop or Connor to regret inviting her into their lives. No way would she burden them with issues involving her deadbeat mother. They’d done more than their fair share of dealing with Celia.

“Faith?” Pop’s gravelly voice interrupted her dire thoughts. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes, everything’s fine. You two worry too much.” She smiled reassuringly at them both.

Connor grunted. “Worrying is what we do best.”

Faith concentrated on her piece of pizza, chewing and swallowing mechanically. What would she do if her mom called when Faith was out of the office? What if Pop or Connor answered? Would her mom hang up or lay out her sob story regardless of who was on the other end?

Embarrassment, hot and raw, crawled up her spine and wrapped around her neck like a vise grip. Why now? Why after all this time did her mother have to worm her way—or try to worm her way—back into Faith’s life? Because if Faith had her way, Celia would stay the hell away.

“What do you think of Gray?” Pop spoke up.

Faith looked up in surprise. “Huh?”

“Seems like a good fellow,” Pop continued. “Too bad about his partner. I bet Gray made a damn fine cop.”

“Is he quitting?” Faith asked curiously. Had Gray decided to take a permanent position with Pop?

Pop shook his head. “No, not that I know of. Far as I know, he’s just taking a break.”

“Ah, you made it sound like he wasn’t going back or something.”

Connor swallowed his last bite of pizza. “I don’t see him as the quitting type.”

On that he and Faith agreed.

Pop shrugged. “Sometimes a man just needs a change. That’s all I’m saying.”

The phone rang, and Faith dropped her pizza. Pop looked quizzically at her as Connor reached for the phone. Faith lunged for it and slipped the receiver from underneath Connor’s grasp.

“Malone’s,” she said as cheerfully as her frayed nerves would allow.

Her shoulders sagged in relief when she heard the person identify himself and ask to speak to Pop.

She held the phone out to her father. “It’s for you. Raymond Jarrell.”

Pop wiped his hands on a napkin and reached for the phone. As he took it, Faith’s gaze flickered over to see Connor staring at her, his brow furrowed as if he was trying to see right into her head.

She looked away then gathered up the empty pizza box and escaped the office with it, heading to the larger trash can in the back. As she stuffed it into the large plastic can, Connor’s hand closed over her wrist.

She turned, and his concerned gaze met her head-on.

“What’s going on, Faith?”

When her gaze drifted downward, his other hand cupped her chin and directed her eyes upward to meet his.

“You know you can come to me with anything, right?”

She smiled, feeling the sting of tears at his loving concern. “Yes, I know, big brother. Everything is okay. Really.”

He looked doubtfully at her but let his hand fall. “I’m here when you’re ready to talk about whatever’s bugging you. Just remember that.”

He bumped her nose with his knuckle then turned and walked back toward the front.

Faith sighed and closed her eyes. She hated lying to them, but she also hated the idea of them knowing her mother was calling again. She knew Pop would take over, shield her from the calls, even going as far as to change the business number or screen all the calls, but she couldn’t allow that. It was time for her to take a proactive stance, one that didn’t allow for her mother’s manipulation.

Was it horrible to admit that she simply felt better when her mother was out of sight and out of mind? When she didn’t have to think about her or wonder what mess she’d gotten herself into.

Again the prick of tears stung her eyelids, and she gritted her teeth in irritation. Don’t let her do this to you. Not again. She’s caused you enough emotional angst for a lifetime.

Faith took several steadying breaths as she tried to gain control of the surge of emotion and grief she felt. No matter how hard she tried to steel herself against the emotional fallout her mother caused, it always hit her square in the chest. There was too much sadness and regret buried behind the protective barrier Faith had built to keep her mother out.

“It wasn’t your doing,” she whispered. “It wasn’t your fault.”

She forced herself forward, down the hallway back to her office. She was careful to adapt a serene expression, hopefully something that didn’t belie her inner turmoil. As she headed toward her desk, Pop looked up.

“We’re heading out, Faith. You going to come over for dinner tonight? I’m cooking your favorite.”

She grinned. “Would I miss corn dogs and Tater Tots?”

“Smart-ass. I’m making lasagna and garlic bread. Connor’s coming, so you two could ride together if you wanted.”

She glanced over at Connor, who raised his eyebrow in question.

“Sure, that sounds great, Pop. I’ll look forward to it.”

Pop put a hand on her shoulder and dropped a kiss on top of her head. “You take care and be sure and leave here at a decent hour. We’ll be out for the afternoon, so if you need us, just holler.”

On impulse, she reached out and hugged him, burying her face against his chest. He seemed surprised at first then folded his arms around her, squeezing her tight.

“I’ll see you tonight,” he said gruffly.