The Apartment

Chapter 14

Claire was the only one going home for Christmas. The others were all staying in New York. Morgan’s office was always closed from Christmas until after New Year’s, and she helped Max at the restaurant during the Christmas rush, seating people at the tables, when he needed her to, and helping him with the books. It was the only way to see him during the holidays, since he worked night and day, seven days a week, and was grateful for her help. She had no family to go home to anyway, and Oliver and Greg were skiing in New Hampshire with friends.

Abby’s parents were in Mexico, and she stayed in New York to work on her novel. And Alex and Sasha were on duty at the hospital over both Christmas and New Year’s. At least they’d be together.

Claire was sorry she wasn’t staying with them too. By the time she left for San Francisco on the twenty-third, she felt like she was moving under water and drowning with the shock of everything that had happened. She wasn’t even angry—she was in despair.

Morgan was furious at George. Although she had respected him before, she no longer did. It was impossible to respect a man who could be so cruel to her friend. Claire was reeling from having her heart broken into a million pieces. She could barely face the thought of Christmas and wished she wasn’t going home. She would rather have stayed with her friends in New York, but didn’t want to disappoint her mother. Before she lost her job, Claire had bought her mother an expensive handbag she hoped she’d love, and her father a sweater, neither of which she could afford now, but it was Christmas and she hadn’t told them she’d been fired. She dreaded spending the holidays with them. They had no idea that George had dumped her and she’d lost her job. She was going to tell her mother while she was there, after Christmas, and ask her to tell her father after she left. She couldn’t face dealing with his concern, and depressing view of life. Failure was familiar to him.

The flight was delayed by three hours due to weather in San Francisco, and there were storms all across the country, which made for a turbulent flight. She didn’t care. If the plane crashed on the way out, it would be a relief. She wouldn’t have to collect unemployment then, or look for a new job, or spend the rest of her life without George, hating him for what he’d done.

She was planning to send her CV out again when she got back, and tell them she was available immediately now and had left her job. When they checked her references, they would know she got fired. She was sure that Walter would tell them, but there was nothing she could do to stop him.

She took a cab from the airport, and her mother was waiting for her at home. They had finished dinner, and her father was already in front of the TV, watching the Discovery Channel with a drink in his hand, and her mother followed her to her room while she unpacked.

“You’ve gotten awfully thin,” her mother said, looking worried. Claire had lost ten pounds or more in the four weeks since Thanksgiving.

“I had the flu. We all had it at the apartment,” Claire lied to her, not ready to tell her the truth. She couldn’t put the horror of it all into words.

Her mother had put up a tree in the living room, as she always did, and her father complained that it was a fire hazard. Claire had no idea how she was going to get through the four days she planned to be there.

“How’s George?” her mother asked with a gentle smile as she watched Claire unpack. This time she had brought very little, and seemed to be living in jeans and black sweaters. She was in some kind of mourning, for George, and her heart, which had died.

“He’s fine,” she said vaguely, pretending to look for something in her suitcase so her mother didn’t see her face.

“What did he give you for Christmas?” A kick in the teeth was the only answer she could think of, as she continued to dig through her suitcase. Sarah had been wondering if he would give Claire an engagement ring, or maybe he was waiting for New Year’s, which Claire had originally said she’d be spending with him.

“A purse” was the insane response that came to mind as she turned to face her mother. “I hate to do this to you, Mom, but it’s three hours later for me, and I’m still tired after the flu. Would you mind terribly if I go to bed?” She knew her mother counted on her for company when she was home, but she just couldn’t do it tonight. And she still had Christmas Eve and Day to get through.

“Of course not, dear. We can talk tomorrow. Would you like a cup of herbal tea?” Her mother was always so sweet to her that Claire felt terrible shutting her out, but she needed to be alone, just for tonight.

“I’m fine.” Claire gave her a fierce hug, and a minute later her mother left to go back to her own room, to read as she did every night. And twenty minutes after that, Claire was sound asleep.

She helped her mother bake cookies the next day, and watched her prepare the turkey and stuffing and put it in the oven. Claire set the table for her, and Sarah had decorated a beautiful Christmas table for the three of them, as she always did. And afterward the two women would go to midnight mass, at Grace Cathedral. Claire’s father hadn’t gone with them in years.

It was cold when they came down the steps of the cathedral across from Huntington Park, with brightly colored lights hung in the trees, and Claire tucked a hand into her mother’s arm as they looked at it for a minute. Sarah didn’t ask her anything, but she could sense that something was very wrong, and she had seen Claire wipe away tears during the service. They got into the car to drive home, and Claire was very quiet.

“Thank you for coming out here,” Sarah said softly, as they pulled up in front of their garage. “I know it’s not fun for you.”

“I like being with you, Mom,” Claire said honestly. That much was true, and then she couldn’t lie to her anymore. She turned to her mother in the car. “George dumped me, and I got fired. I didn’t want to tell you on the phone, and I’m sorry to tell you now.” Her mother silently put her arms around her and held her as she cried.

“I’m so sorry,” she said soothingly. She didn’t ask what happened. It didn’t make any difference. The end result was all that mattered, and her daughter’s broken heart. “I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah, me too,” she said to her mother, as she pulled away and smiled through her tears. “He said he’s a lone wolf. But he’s the one who rushed into everything, and acted like we’d been together for years. He scared the shit out of himself, and then he ran away.”

“Do you think he’ll calm down and come back?”

“Not a chance.” She was bracing herself to see his name any day, linked with someone else, on Page Six. She knew it would happen sooner or later. He was finished with her, and she didn’t want to give herself or her mother false hope. His text had made it clear. “And Walter is an asshole, and I hate his shoes.” She laughed and blew her nose in a tissue her mother handed her, and this time Sarah laughed too.

“Even I wouldn’t wear them at my age,” she said to Claire, and they both chuckled.

“I’ll start sending my résumé out after New Year’s. Something will turn up.” And she had the credentials to design more than just shoes. Footwear was her strong suit and her passion, but she was willing to design clothes too, and had the training for it from Parsons. “I’m sorry to tell you all this tonight. I was going to wait until after Christmas.” But she was relieved that she had told her now. Her mother was always so comforting and positive. She was suddenly happy to be home, with her broken heart. “Don’t worry about me, Mom. I’ll find a job.” She didn’t want her mother to think she was going to be a burden on them. At twenty-eight, she wanted to stand on her own two feet. And her parents didn’t have the money to help her. She expected nothing from them, except her mother’s love. “And could you do me a favor, and don’t tell Dad until after I leave? I don’t want to hear about it from him.” Sarah nodded, she understood.

They went into the house then and had a cup of chamomile tea in the kitchen. Claire’s father had gone to bed, and the house was quiet as the two women sat talking. Sarah was looking pensive, thinking of what Claire had shared with her, and a little while later, they went to bed.

In the morning, Claire and her mother exchanged gifts sitting next to the tree. Sarah loved the Chanel bag and was touched by what it must have cost her, especially now. And Claire gave her father his sweater when he got up. He actually liked it and thanked her for it, and everyone was in a good mood.

Claire went into her room then, and sent e-mails to her roommates, wishing them a merry Christmas, and as she turned the computer off, her mother walked into the room, and quietly shut the door behind her, and then sat down on her daughter’s bed. She looked as though she had something important to say. She had thought about it all night.

“Is something wrong?” Claire was instantly worried, but her mother shook her head.

“No, there’s something I want to share with you that I’ve never told anyone. You know, I’ve been doing a lot of small decorating jobs for years. Your father never knew about most of them, but it gave me money for you for school, and some pocket money. Well, I did some bigger jobs too, and I’ve been putting the money away for many years.” Claire could see where her mother was going, and she shook her head.

“I don’t want money from you, Mom. I have a little saved up, and I can live on that and my unemployment until I find another job. I’m going to see a headhunter when I get back. I want you to keep your money for you.”

“I want you to hear me out,” she said with a determined look. “I have more than you think put aside. No one knows about it, except you and me now. I have an idea. I’d like to invest that money in a small shoe company. I know how to run an interior design business, and shoes can’t be that different. We could start very small, on a tight budget. And you could design the shoes you want to. If we’re successful, you can pay me back one day. But I don’t expect that. I’d like to be partners with you.” Claire was looking at her in amazement, and then her mother stunned her further. “I could come to New York for a few months, maybe even six months or a year, and help you get it off the ground. I could stay with you, if that’s all right with you and the other girls, and we could work on it together.” She told her then how much she had put aside, and Claire nearly fell off the bed. It was more than enough to get a small shoe company off the ground. She knew the figures of Walter’s business, and her mother had more than that. And with that much to capitalize the venture, they could get a loan if they needed more.

“What about Dad?” She couldn’t imagine her leaving him for as long as she said.

Sarah hesitated before she answered. “I think it’s time for me to go back to New York and take my life back. I’ve been thinking about it for a while. This would be a perfect opportunity for both of us.” She smiled at Claire, who came over to hug her fiercely.

“You are unbelievable, Mom. And I’d love to have you stay with me, if you don’t mind sharing a bed. I’ll ask the others, but I’m certain they’ll say yes. But are you sure? That’s a big step for you to take.” She had been in San Francisco for thirty years, and unhappy for a long time, and she wanted to do something before it was too late. And if she could help her daughter in the process, it felt like the right decision to her. She had no doubts.

“It’s time for your father to look at his own life, and figure out what he wants to do, before he’s too old to enjoy himself. And if he doesn’t want to, that’s up to him.” She looked sad as she said it, but smiled at Claire.

“Holy shit, Mom.” Claire was grinning at her. “I can’t believe you’d do this for me.”

“Who else would I do it for? You’re my only child.” Sarah was beaming, and so was Claire as they hugged each other again. It was a plan.

“You know, we could use the same factory Walter does in Italy. They do great work, and they’re reasonable. We could try Brazil, but I like the finish work better in Italy.” Claire’s mind was already racing ahead. Her mother had just turned the worst Christmas of her life into a hopeful one. She was going to start her own shoe business, and she was going to do everything she had to to make it a success. And then Claire was serious again. “When are you going to tell Dad?”

“After you leave. You don’t need to be part of that. I’m going to tell him that we’re starting a business together. He doesn’t need to know where the money comes from. And I intend to tell him I was leaving him anyway. I don’t want you getting blamed for it. And it’s true. I was going to tell you before you left that I’m leaving him. It’s long overdue.”

“Do you still love him, Mom?” Claire asked quietly. She knew what a big step this was for her mother. She had protected him for thirty years, like a child, and sacrificed herself and everything she wanted in the process.

“I don’t know,” she said honestly. “He’s hard to love the way he is. Not just the drinking, but his whole outlook on life. I love the way he used to be before his business ventures failed. He believed in himself then, but he’s become a very sad, bitter man. I don’t want that poison in my life anymore. It’s too toxic. It’s bad enough to get old—I don’t want to do it with a miserable old man. I’d rather be alone. Maybe this will jolt him into making some changes. And I want to try living in New York again. I have wonderful decorating clients here, but I’d love to play in the big leagues again. Or I thought that was what I wanted—now we’re going to do shoes!” She almost giggled as she said it, and Claire grinned. “But I want you to ask the girls about my staying in the apartment. I’ll understand if they say no. It would save some money if I can stay with you, but I don’t have to. I can get a small place of my own for a few months, if that’s better for you.”

“It would be fun to have you at the loft with me, and they all love you. I’ll ask them, and tell you the truth. When do you want to come?”

Sarah thought about it for a minute. “Would the first week in January be too soon? We should get moving.” Claire felt giddy as she listened to her. She was starting her own shoe business! She had never even dreamed of something like this.

“That sounds fine,” Claire said about her arrival. “What’ll we call it?”

Her mother didn’t hesitate for an instant. “Claire Kelly Designs, of course. What else would we call it?” The two women hugged again, and Claire thanked her profusely and opened her computer again when she left the room. She wrote a joint e-mail to all three of her roommates, told them she was starting her own shoe company with her mother, and asked how they would feel about her staying with them for a few months until they got it off the ground, and she told them she wouldn’t be angry if they said no.

All three responses came back immediately. They were thrilled for Claire about the shoe company, and delighted to welcome her mother. Morgan had added, “I hope she cooks better than you do,” but they had Max for that. Claire went to report their answers to her mother. She was in her bedroom sorting through her closet, and Claire knew why. She was getting organized for New York.

“It’s a go,” she said cryptically to her mother, “unanimously.” Sarah beamed at her and gave her a thumbs-up. And Claire had to hand it to her. She was fifty-five years old and she was starting a shoe company. “I love you, Mom,” Claire said as she left her mother’s bedroom again and went back to her own. She was leaving in two days, and now she could hardly wait to go back and get started. They had a lot of work to do, and they’d have to go to Italy to meet with the factory, make production arrangements, and sign a contract. It was too good to be true, but it was happening. Two weeks before, she had lost everything, and now a whole new life was beginning. A miracle had happened, all thanks to her mother. And Claire hoped it was going to be a miracle for Sarah too. And who knew, maybe her father would wake up.

—

Alex and Sasha were on duty at the hospital on Christmas Eve, sitting in the doctors’ lounge, sharing a sandwich. She had two women in early labor with first babies, who she knew were going to take forever and probably wouldn’t be born until morning, but she was stuck there anyway. And everything was quiet in neonatal ICU. Three babies had gone home the day before, and the others were all stable. The nursing staff was keeping an eye on them while he and Sasha talked and ate the turkey sandwich he’d gotten for them downstairs.

“Merry Christmas,” she said, grinning at him. “Maybe next year we’ll actually have a turkey dinner instead of a sandwich.” But neither of them looked unhappy, and they were grateful to be together. She’d been telling him about Valentina and her French boyfriend. They were in Paris and due back in two days. “I can’t believe she’s still with him,” Sasha told him. “They usually don’t last this long. It’s been three months.”

Alex’s parents had called them earlier on his cell phone and wished them both a merry Christmas. She had loved spending Thanksgiving with them, and sent his parents flowers to thank them, and a five-pound box of chocolates for Christmas. She and Alex hadn’t exchanged gifts yet and wanted to do it when they went off duty on Christmas night. She had bought him a warm hat and gloves, and a pair of Crocs as a joke.

He pulled a box of cookies out of his pocket then, that he’d gotten for her in the cafeteria, and he handed them to her when she finished her half of the sandwich.

“Dessert,” he said as she hesitated.

“Maybe I should save them for later. It’s going to be a long night.” She eyed the box thoughtfully.

“Go on, I’ll get you more if you want. The cafeteria’s open all night.” She weakened and dug into the box and couldn’t reach the cookies. They were stuck inside. She peered into it and saw a black velvet box instead, and she looked at Alex with startled eyes.

“What’s that?” Her heart was pounding as she pulled it out and looked at him in amazement.

“The cookies must have come with a prize!” he said with a wide smile. She had the box in her hand as he got down on one knee in the doctors’ lounge and spoke softly. “Sasha, I love you with all my heart and being. I pledge you everything I have and am. Will you marry me?”

“Oh my God,” she said, and started to cry, as he opened the box for her, and slipped a beautiful diamond ring onto her shaking hand. “Oh my God…I love you…What number date is this?” she asked, laughing through her tears. They had only been dating for three months, but he was absolutely certain she was the love of his life. He had told his parents over Thanksgiving what he intended to do, and they heartily approved. His father had lent him the money for the ring, and Alex was going to pay him back.

Alex kissed her then, and looked at her. “You haven’t answered me. ‘Oh my God, what number date is this,’ is not a conclusive answer.”

“Yes! Yes…oh my God. What am I going to tell my mother? She doesn’t believe in marriage.” She was panicked.

“Tell her we do,” he said quietly, and put his arms around her, and she held up her hand to admire the beautiful ring he had just given her.

“When are we getting married?” she asked him. She was overwhelmed by the whole idea.

“How about June?” She nodded, and they were talking and hugging and laughing, when one of the labor nurses walked in and saw them. It was Sally, the one they both liked best.

“What are you two doing in here?” She liked them both and always enjoyed working with Sasha when she was on duty.

“We just got engaged,” Sasha told her, beaming.

“Congratulations!” she said heartily, and then went back to business. “We’re getting some action in Room Two. Heavy labor, we’re at ten. She’s ready to push. We need you.”

“How did that happen so fast?” Sasha stood up quickly. “She was at two the last time I looked.”

“Maybe the baby got tired of waiting. What do I know? You’re the doctor, so get your ass in there and get to work. If you’ll excuse me,” she said, turning to Alex with a broad grin, “your fiancée is on duty. She’s the doctor here tonight. And give him back the ring,” she said to Sasha. “You can’t wear it when you’re doing a delivery.” She was right. Sasha handed it to him, and he put it in the box and slipped it in his pocket.

“Don’t lose it!” she said as she kissed him quickly and hurried after the nurse with a wave at her future husband.

The baby in Room Two was already through the birth canal and crowning when Sasha hurried into the labor room. She was just in time to catch the baby, a little girl who came out with two pushes, as her parents laughed and cried at the wonder of her. Sasha cut the cord and put her on her mother’s stomach, and then to her breast, as the new mom held her close and looked adoringly at her husband and told him how much she loved him. And all Sasha could think of, as she watched them, was that one day that would be her and Alex.