The Beautiful Ashes

chapter twenty-five

We used most of our remaining Archon-glamoured sticky notes for gas money to return to Costa’s house in Miami. Once there, we waited. And waited.

By the fourth day, Zach was still a no-show despite Adrian repeatedly trying to reach him. I tried, too, mostly by folding my hands, glaring upward and thinking multiple variations of Where are you, Zach? I know you can hear us!

Costa wasn’t around, either. At least he’d called, saying he was staying a few more days with Hoyt at Tomas’s family’s house. With no one actively trying to kill me and our realm-searching put on hold, I had nothing to do except brood. I couldn’t even enjoy the sunny warmth of South Florida. If I wasn’t feeling guilty over Jasmine languishing in her captivity, I was being tormented in another way.

For the past three nights, I’d fallen asleep listening to Adrian pace. He spent his days in the outdoor carport, claiming that he needed to work on his car. Bullshit. The Challenger was in mint condition, and he could only wax and detail it so many times before it was obvious that he was just avoiding me.

Tonight, I was finding out why.

I got out of bed, hearing his pacing come to an abrupt halt when I opened my door. Too bad. I was done playing the avoidance game. He wasn’t, though. By the time I came downstairs, he was nowhere to be seen and his bedroom door was shut.

Quietly, I went to his door and tried the knob. Locked. My mouth curled. He was the one who’d taught me not to give up that easily when something needed to be done.

I grabbed the car keys he’d left on the counter and went out the front door. I’d barely slid them into the Challenger’s ignition when Adrian came flying out of the house after me.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he demanded, yanking open the passenger door after he tried mine and couldn’t get in. I waited until he’d shut it, then I hit the lock button.

The sound was like a gun going off in the sudden quiet. Adrian stared at me, knowing better than anyone that he was now trapped. He was the one who’d rigged the Challenger so that the only exit was through the driver’s side when the doors were locked.

“I’m not going anywhere,” I said evenly, “and neither are you until we have a little talk.”

“What are you doing, Ivy?” he asked, his voice very low.

“Ending our stalemate,” I responded, leaning back into the leather seat. “For the first few days, I thought you were avoiding me because I’d done something wrong. Then I realized it wasn’t my fault, so now I want to know why.”

He looked away. “I haven’t been avoiding—”

“Ooh, lies, looks like we’ll be here awhile,” I mocked. “Seriously, Adrian, Costa’s house is on hallowed ground and it doesn’t contain a single mirror, so I’m totally safe. Yet aside from getting groceries the first day, you haven’t left once. If you can’t stand to be in the same room with me, why is it that you can’t stand to leave me alone here, either?”

His hands slowly closed into fists. “Let me out, Ivy. Now.”

“Not until you give me a straight answer,” I countered.

He looked at me, anger sharpening the gorgeous lines and hollows of his face. “I’m warning you, don’t push me.”

“Or what?” I flared. “You have nothing to threaten me with! The only reason I can stand to keep going is because I don’t have anything to lose, so pushing you doesn’t scare me—”

I didn’t see his hands flash out, but suddenly, they were in my hair as he yanked me to him, his mouth scorching mine. I gasped in shock, and his tongue slid past my lips, claiming mine with a passionate desperation that sent heat rocketing through me.

My shock vanished. So did my questions. Desire hijacked my emotions, leaving nothing except a surge of blistering need. I kissed Adrian back, opening my mouth in a silent demand for more. Hints of alcohol flavored his kiss, but beneath that was his taste, infinitely more intoxicating, and I responded as if it was my drug of choice. I moaned as my head tilted back from the force of his kiss. Then he pulled me across the seats until I was on top of him, his strong grip molding me against every muscled inch of his body.

“This is why I stayed away,” he growled against my mouth as his hands started to rove over me with knowing, ruthless passion. “Can’t be near you without wanting you. Can’t stop myself anymore—”

His words cut off as his kiss deepened, until I could hardly breathe from the erotic thrusts and delves of his tongue. I’d been kissed before, but never like this. He wasn’t exploring my mouth. He was claiming it.

And I couldn’t get enough. All the feelings I’d had to fake with other boyfriends came roaring through my senses, shocking me with their intensity. My heart pounded while my body felt hypersensitive, making each brush of his skin, lips and tongue dangerously erotic. I needed more of his kiss despite barely being able to breathe. More of his hands moving over me with sensual urgency, and more of the hard, muscled body I could feel but not touch because of how tightly Adrian held me against him.

I moaned when his lips slid down to a spot on my neck that made every nerve ending jump with exquisite anticipation. They jumped again when he pushed up the back of my pajama top, his hands now roaming over flesh instead of fabric. Everywhere he touched seemed to burn with a need so intense, it left me aching, and when he sucked on my neck, a blast of pleasure reverberated straight down to the throb between my legs.

“All I think about is you. Every day, every minute...you,” he muttered hotly.

I was so lost in sensation, the words barely penetrated, especially when his mouth slanted over mine with carnal hunger. Before, my hands had been trapped against his chest, but I forced them free, gripping his head while I kissed him back. His mouth was addictive, and the sinuous flicks of his tongue had me arching against him in wordless, primal need. Desperate to feel him the way I’d secretly fantasized, my hands left his head to slide down his body. Our cramped space limited my exploration to his shoulders, arms and sides, but I wanted to touch him so badly, I didn’t care. Muscles bunched and flexed as he reacted to the feel of my hands on him. His body was so hard, but his skin was sleek and smooth, as if someone had stretched heavy silk over stone. Touching him while he kissed me made my mind reel from desire, and when my hand grazed his taut, flat stomach, a tremor went through his whole body.

He broke our kiss to pull my pajama top over my head, groaning as he flung it aside.

“You’re so beautiful, Ivy.”

His hands on my bare breasts ripped a cry from me. My skin felt too tight, too sensitive, and when his mouth closed over a nipple, the pleasure was so intense, it was almost painful. I gripped his head without thinking, my gasps turning into groans that caused him to hold me tighter. His mouth was a brand that seared those unbelievable sensations all through me, making my whole body feel fevered. Every part of me ached for him, but when his hand slipped inside my pajama pants, I couldn’t stop myself from tensing even as I cried out at the jolt of pleasure.

His mouth immediately left my breast and his large hand slid up to thread through my hair instead.

“What’s wrong?”

Adrian’s eyes were darker with passion, making their silver rims more startling, but it was the barely leashed wildness they contained that caused the words to stick in my throat.

“I, ahem... Before we... Ah, I need to tell you something.”

I could actually see the moment he guessed what I was having trouble articulating. His eyes widened, and his hands ceased the sensual way they’d been running through my hair.

“You’ve never had sex before.”

A statement, not a question. I still had on my pajama pants, but suddenly, I’d never felt more exposed. My arms crossed over my chest, and for the first time, I was glad I didn’t have D-cups because they covered everything.

“Yeah,” I mumbled. “Sorry.”

“Don’t.” Adrian’s sigh was ragged. “Don’t ever apologize for being who you are. You’re perfect, and I’m the one who’s sorry. Touching you made me forget all the reasons why I have to stay away from you.”

That was the last thing I wanted to hear. Frustration rose, covering my previous embarrassment. Was I supposed to go back to pretending that he didn’t consume my thoughts as much as I apparently consumed his? Damn my momentary hesitancy that had ruined this!

“I don’t want you to stay away,” I said. To prove it, I dropped my arms.

His eyes closed while he shuddered as though absorbing a punishing blow.

“Don’t,” he said roughly. “After you find and use that weapon, I have to walk away from you, and I can’t do that if we’re lovers. I can barely do it now, and I need to, Ivy. It’s the only way I can protect you from my fate.”

Before I could say anything else, he flipped us until he was on top of me. Then he punched the window so hard that it shattered. His body shielded mine from the instant rainfall of glass, then he opened his door from the outside and left.

For a few dazed moments, I stayed in the passenger seat, clutching the top Adrian had handed me right before he walked away. He loved this car like it was his baby, yet he’d smashed his own window to get away before he lost control and finished what he’d started.

I didn’t know whether it was the most romantic thing he’d ever done, or the most insulting.