The Carnal Prayer Mat (Rou Putuan)

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Poem:

Let us explain that the story of how Honest Quan sold himself lies in the future. Well before he entered the household, Mistress Jade Scent had fallen prey to a secret melancholy, which our brush has been too busy to describe but which we shall now address. Just at the height of her sexual enjoyment, her husband had been driven away by her monster of a father, a development that left her feeling like a drunkard who has just sworn off wine or a gourmet who has just given up meat. She couldn't even get through the next few days, let alone survive for years as a grass widow. Deprived of real pleasures, she was reduced to placing the erotic album in front of herself and trying to quench her thirst by looking at plums and satisfy her hunger by drawing a cake. To her dismay, however, she found that looking at plums increases rather than quenches one's thirst and that drawing a cake sharpens rather than satisfies one's hunger. The longer she looked at the album, the worse she felt, until at length she put it aside and brought out a few idle books instead, in the hope of relieving her distress and boredom.

Gentle reader, what kind of books ought she to have read, do you suppose, in order to relieve her distress and boredom? In my humble opinion, no play or novel would have been of any use whatever. Only the books her father taught her to read as a girl, such as The Lives of Virtuous Women and The Girls' Classic of Filial Piety, would have met her need. If only she had been willing to take them out and read them, they would have relieved her distress and boredom and also quenched her thirst and satisfied her hunger. She might then have been able to endure a real widowhood, to say nothing of the grass variety.

But Jade Scent took a different course and gave undue credence to the "Four Virtues for Girls" and the "Three Obediences for Women," which stipulate: "Before marriage obey your father, after marriage your husband." Accordingly she ignored her father's books and began to read her husband's, tipping out his entire stock of obscenity, such as The Foolish Woman's Story, The Unofficial History of the Embroidered Couch, and The Life of the Lord of Perfect Satisfaction, and going through them carefully and methodically. She noticed that these books invariably praised penises as either extremely large or exceptionally long, using expressions such as "a head the size of a snail," "a body like a skinned rabbit," and "strong enough to support a peck of grain without bending." She noticed also that men's thrusts were numbered in the thousands and tens of thousands rather than in the dozens and hundreds.

I simply don't believe there is any man as strong as that between Heaven and Earth, or anyone with so impressive an instrument either, she reflected. My husband's is less than two inches long and two fingers thick, and he cannot last more than a couple of hundred strokes before discharging. He has never reached a thousand! He told me himself that he was without equal among men, so surely there cannot be anyone dozens of times stronger than he is! As the old saying goes, "Better to have no books at all than to believe everything you read." These absurdities must have been concocted by the authors! Such marvels don't exist!

But her skepticism did not survive for long. "That's not true, either," she reflected. "It's a big world we live in, with vast numbers of men, among whom there must be all kinds of exceptional cases. How do I know that what the books say isn't true after all? If a woman were able to marry a man like that, her bedroom pleasure would be beyond description! She'd be loath to change places with the immortals in Heaven! But that's too much to hope for!" Thus, having gone from skepticism to faith, she reverted to skepticism.

Day after day she would get up and, neglecting her needlework, match herself against these idle books, trying to bring her sexual excitement to a fever pitch so that when her husband returned, they could relieve it together. But when time passed and no word came from him, she could not help feeling a certain resentment. I've noticed that there's not a single woman in any of these books who does not have several lovers, she thought. Evidently it is not at all unusual to take a lover. I must have misbehaved myself in my last existence to get such a beast for a husband. Only a month or two after our wedding, and he goes off and stays away for years! I very much doubt that anyone as highly sexed as he is will have held out this long without straying. And if he has strayed, it would hardly be wrong for me to have a backdoor affair of my own. The only pity is that we women are so strictly regulated that we never even see a man.

Then, having arrived at this stage in her thinking, she transferred her resentment from her husband to her father and looked forward eagerly to the latter's early demise so that she could bring a man into the house.

Thus when she first set eyes on Honest Quan, she was like a ravenous eagle spotting a chicken or a hungry cat coming upon a mouse-rough or smooth, good-looking or ugly, she wanted nothing better than to gobble him up. While he was still working his land, she could do nothing about her desires; firstly, because she had observed that he was a terribly prudish soul who would not even look at her as he passed by and would certainly not jump at an invitation; and secondly, because he came in the daytime and left at night, and even if he did accept, they would have had neither the time nor the place for sex. But when she heard he was selling himself as a bondservant, her heart leaped and she resolved that on his very first night in the house he would not escape her.

As it happened, however, the one who was waiting anxiously to fulfill her desires (suixin) did not fulfill them, while someone else who was not expecting to satisfy hers (ruyi) did so. Jade Scent watched with a pang of jealousy as the bridal couple took their vows and entered the bedroom together. Waiting until her father was asleep, she then stole out of her room to eavesdrop on their lovemaking. Honest Quan's penis was by no means insignificant, and Ruyi, although in her twenties, was still a virgin because her highly principled master had never molested her. How could a space scarcely big enough to hold a finger endure a laundry beater stuffed inside it? Naturally she screamed and wailed fit to shake the heavens, until the eavesdropper herself began to feel pain on her behalf.

This maid is a few years older than I am, thought Jade Scent. On my wedding night I felt only a slight discomfort as my husband worked his way in. Why is she so helpless, making all this fuss over a little pain?

Quan saw that his wife couldn't bear it and hastily brought matters to a close. Jade Scent, after standing there a while, heard nothing more of interest to her and went back to bed. Returning to eavesdrop the next few nights, she heard more cries of pain but none of pleasure.

After the third night, however, Quan's prowess was destined to be revealed. On previous nights he had blown out the lamp before going to bed, but on this occasion, as if he knew someone was watching and wanted to show off his effects, he neither blew out the lamp nor let down the screen. Before entering Ruyi, he told her to fondle his penis, which was over eight inches long and too big to be grasped. By this time her well-reamed vagina was no longer too tight, and Quan extended all of his powers. The number of his thrusts compared well with what Jade Scent had read of in her books, for he refused to stop until he had given several thousand, by which time Ruyi had graduated from acute discomfort to the most acute pleasure. Her frantic actions and cries fairly shook the heavens, and the observer, who had previously felt pain on her account, now began to feel pleasure. In fact the fluid that resulted from her observing exceeded that of the sexual act itself, and not only were her trousers wet, even the top part of her stockings was damp.

Henceforth Jade Scent was obsessed with Quan. He, for his part, changed his tune the moment he entered the household, dropping his prudish ways completely. Whenever he met Jade Scent, he stole glance after glance at her. If she smiled, he smiled, too, and if she looked sad, he responded with a sad look of his own.

One day she was taking a bath in her room, when he passed by and happened to cough. She realized who it was and, hoping to arouse his desires by getting him to look at her, called out, "I'm taking a bath in here! Whoever that is outside, don't come in!"

Quan knew she meant it in the sense of there's no money here. Not wishing to disappoint her, he moistened a tiny patch on the paper window and observed her from above.

Jade Scent saw there was someone outside the window and knew it must be Quan. Previously she had had her back to the window, but now she turned around until her breasts and vulva faced it directly, offering them for his inspection. Lest the most important part of all be half hidden underwater, she lay back and spread her legs, giving him a full frontal view. Then, after lying like that for a while, she sat up, cradled her vulva in both hands, looked at it, and heaved a deep sigh, as if to say she was longing for a chance to put it to use.

At this sight Quan's desires flared up until they could no longer be held in check. Moreover, he knew that her desire was at its height and that she felt bitterly frustrated. If he did not accept the invitation to her party, he would be blamed, and conversely, if he did accept it, he would never be turned away. He pushed the door open, burst in, and kneeling down in front of her, pleaded, "Your slave deserves to die!" Then, scrambling to his feet, he took her in his arms.

Jade Scent pretended to be shocked. "How dare you take such liberties!"

"Mistress, the only reason I sold myself was to get inside the household and be with you. I meant to declare my feelings when we were alone together and get your permission before I did anything rash. But today I happened to be passing by and saw how incredibly soft and delicate your precious person was, and I couldn't restrain myself any longer, but had to come in and inflict myself upon you. Spare my life, Mistress, I beg you!"

Jade Scent had a few more stock protestations ready, but she feared they might take too long to deliver and in the meantime someone might come upon them.

"Well, then," she asked, "what do you have in mind? This bath is hardly the place for anything."

"I realize this isn't the time or the place, but I do beseech you to let me wait on you tonight."

"But at night you sleep with Ruyi! She'll never let you come."

"She's a very sound sleeper. After we've had sex, she goes straight to sleep and sleeps until dawn, and even then I have to call her dozens of times before she awakens. She'll never know, if I deceive her and join you during the night."

"Very well, then, do as you suggest."

Now that he had received her consent, Quan caressed and kissed her and then started to leave. She called him back, worried that he might not keep his word.

"Are you really coming tonight? If you are, I'll leave my door open. If you're not sure, I'll lock it and go to sleep."

"Of course I'm coming! But I urge you to have a little patience. Don't be too anxious."

Their arrangements made, the pair separated.

By this time it was evening. Jade Scent dried herself, but did not dress or eat dinner. She lay on her bed, intending to take a nap and build up her strength for the night's encounter, but she could not get to sleep and lay there impatiently until the beginning of the second watch, when she heard the door creak and knew it must be Quan. "Brother Suixin," she whispered. "Is that you?"

"Yes, Mistress dearest, it's me," he whispered back.

Worried that Suixin might not be able to find his way to her bed in the dark, Jade Scent scrambled out and guided him in. She was worried, too, that in his ignorance of her proportions he might be too wild, so she gave him instructions: "Dearest, I've noticed that that thing of yours is different from other men's. I won't be able to bear it at first, so please go slow."

"I wouldn't dare offend your precious person. I know a very effective means of entry that will cause you no discomfort at all."

"I would be ever so grateful," murmured Jade Scent.

Despite his assurances, Quan suspected that her modesty was mere coyness. Her husband, after all, was an adulterer, and must be well endowed; surely he didn't cause pain to his own wife? Placing his penis against her vulva, Quan proceeded to offend her person anyway. The pain was too much for Jade Scent, who lost her temper. "Did you forget your promise the moment you made it? What's all this hurry, when I told you to go slow?"

Unable to gain entrance, Quan realized that her request was not false modestly and apologized: "Frankly, Mistress, this is the first time I've seen a beautiful young woman, and when I touched you, I got carried away and couldn't wait to enter. That's why I was too energetic and upset you. Let me make it up by taking things much more slowly." He raised his penis and rubbed it on both sides of the vulva. Afraid not only to enter the inner room but even to ascend the hall, [73] he thrust away between her thighs.

Why do you suppose he did this? He was employing the method known as Clearing Away the Rocks to Get the Spring Flowing. The best lubricant in the world is vaginal fluid, a substance designed by Heaven and Earth to moisten the vulva and penis. Spit, although acceptable, is simply no match for this fluid. It is generally used when the man is too impatient to wait for the fluid and turns to what he has in his own mouth instead. But the water from another spring is never as good as one's own. The fluid is more convenient-and also more appropriate, because using it to moisten the vagina follows the same principle as using river water to cook a river fish; the flavor of the fish is not adulterated, and it slips easily into the mouth. Originally Quan had been ignorant of this method, but when first married to Fragrance he had found it difficult to enter her because of the size of his penis, and she had racked her brains to come up with this method, which made easy what had seemed impossible. Jade Scent's vagina now was about the same size as Fragrance's had been in those days, a circumstance that put Quan in mind of her. His old problem had come to mind, too, and with it his old solution. Placing his penis between her thighs, he gave her vulva such a massaging that the inside began to itch abominably and fluid naturally ran out, after which he felt like a heavily laden boat floated off a sand bar by the spring floods and swept hundreds of miles downstream.

Meanwhile, seeing that he had gone past the gate, Fragrance thought he had lost his way and was using the gap between her thighs as a vulva, and she began to giggle.

"What are you doing down there?" she asked.

"Making love. Surely you know that?"

"No, I'm afraid you're doing it wrong. We never used to do it that way."

"It's perfectly all right. You must have been doing it wrong. This will bring you pleasure, believe me."

After he had thrust for a while, the inside of her thighs began to feel slippery and Quan knew that the spring floods had arrived. Worried that the fluid would now make things so slippery that he would slide off somewhere else instead of entering her, he parted her legs, caught one of her hands, and put his penis into it.

"You're right," he said, "I was doing it all wrong before and now I can't find the right place. Please show me."

Jade Scent drew up her vulva and placed the glans directly over it. "Now it's in the right place. Give it a try, then I'll let go."

"Wait a moment," said Quan. "Hold on until it's inside the gate."

Jade Scent knew what she was about, and when he said this, she used the other hand as well, encircling his penis with both hands like an outer wall to make sure it entered. Quan thrust forward, beginning at the outer wall and then gradually penetrating a fraction further each time until, after twenty or more thrusts, that penis of his, over eight inches long and too large to be grasped in the hand, had entered all the way.

Observing that he was an expert in sexual technique, Jade Scent felt even more loving. Clasping him tightly, she asked, "Dearest one, how is it you're so sophisticated when you've had no experience with women? My husband had affairs and went to brothels all the time, and yet he was never as gentle and considerate as you are. Oh, I could love you to death!"

Receiving this accolade so soon after assuming his duties, Quan naturally redoubled his efforts. This was no time to rest on his laurels. He feared she would scorn him as weak if he thrust too slowly and as violent if he went too fast, so he proceeded neither too fiercely nor too gently, neither too slowly nor too fast, until she was totally incapable of uttering a word of praise, let alone an accolade-at which point he stopped. Jade Scent had never in her life experienced such a thrill. From then on nothing would do but that he come to her every night.

At first they kept Ruyi in ignorance, but then it occurred to them that they could not go on doing so forever and that they might as well tell her now and act openly. Fearing she might be jealous, Jade Scent went to great lengths to make up to her. In name they were mistress and maid, but in fact they were more like wife and concubine. Sometimes one of them slept with him all night and at other times they shared him, changing places at midnight. And there were even a few festive occasions when they all slept together, and Quan, unsure who was the mistress and who the maid, would cry out darling indiscriminately on reaching his climax.

His original motive had been revenge. He had hoped to seduce Jade Scent, sleep with her for a few months, and then leave. He could not afford to become captivated and waste his powers so badly with constant sex that she would be the one taking revenge. But it is always hard to free ourselves from a predestined enemy. He had slept several years with Fragrance without having any children, but the very first time he slept with Jade Scent, she became pregnant. She did not realize it at first, but after two or three months she began to suffer morning sickness and knew well enough. They tried desperately to find a medicine that would induce a miscarriage, but without success.

"My death will be on your head," sobbed Jade Scent. "You know the kind of man my father is. A word out of place, and he rants and raves. You surely don't imagine he'll let me get away with something as bad as this? When he finds out, I'll die anyway. Far better to die now and spare myself the agony." She tried to hang herself then and there, while Quan pleaded with her to stop.

"If you want me to go on living," she retorted, "you'll have to think of a plan to get me away from here to some distant place where we can escape all our troubles and live together as husband and wife. Furthermore the child I'm carrying, whether it's a boy or a girl, is your flesh and blood, too, and if we can get away, it won't have to be drowned at birth. You'll be saving two lives, not just one. Well, what do you say?"

Quan recognized the force of her argument and agreed. At first they were going to leave Ruyi in the dark, but they feared she might find out about their plans and reveal them, so they had to include her. They packed up their most necessary clothes, waited until Master Iron Door was asleep, and then opened the main gate and fled. But if you are wondering where they went and what became of them, you will have to read on until you come to Chapter Eighteen.